Writings - Priestess Yeshe

Building Resilience

Yeshe Matthews — Wed, 11 Oct 2017 19:32:46 +0000

Amidst wildfires, storms, governmental power-grabs, and rife despair, what are you doing to build resilience?

I'm not talking about building grim determination, though that might be part of what's necessary sometimes. I'm not talking about pretending to be fearless, though that can help boost your confidence on occasion. I'm not talking about hoarding resources or planning for doomsday, though the idea to do this has been increasingly tempting of late.

I'm talking about building true resilience, the ability to refocus on your own life, your own strengths, your own gifts, your own creativity.

I'm talking about building community resilience, through vulnerability, truth-telling, compassion, forgiveness, and kindness.

I'm talking about building global resilience through sharing economies, collective empowerment, and elevation of our common purpose: to live as well as we possibly can in these fragile, impermanent bodies.

How are you building your resilience? Are you allowing yourself the time and energy to nourish your body with good food, drink, pleasure, and play? Are your nourishing your mind with critical thinking skills, useful information, and care-full plans, as well as media breaks, meditation, and respite? Are you nourishing your spirit with art, music, and wild devotion to whatever you hold sacred?

Your resilience depends on you doing these things. Our resilience depends on us doing these things. Today, pick one resilience-building activity from each category: "I will give myself good food. I will stop myself from clicking the headlines that make me anxious. I will spend time at my altar. I will chant a mala. I will anoint myself with luscious scent or soft lotion. I will treat my body, mind, and spirit as if they are important to me and to the collective, because they are."

If you can't say something nice...

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 20:58:37 +0000

The Full Moon presides silently over the night sky, exuding sacred presence wordlessly. She does not have anything to prove. She does not feel the need to be consistent in her argument. She does not cite her sources. She does not follow any policy. She does not rail or rant. She does not try too hard. She does not feel like she needs to be heard. She does not worry what anyone thinks.

The Dark Moon keeps her secrets. She does not whisper. She does not gossip. She will not argue. She does not feel the need to make herself clear. She does not comply. She is not steered by anyone's agenda. She does not fear invisibility. She does not cosign anything. She doesn't volunteer. She owes no one an explanation.

The Moon moves heaven and earth without ever saying a word, simply through the force of her quiet gravity. Her silence is voluminous, rich, thick, and dense. Her power is in her dynamic dance with the sun and the sky, full of smoldering glances and meaningful turnings-away, void of verbosity. Her greatest gift is found in contemplation. She sheds her light without ever speaking of her mysteries.

The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things

Thus, constantly free of desire
One observes its wonders
Constantly filled with desire
One observes its manifestations

These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wonders

Listen more often to things than to beings...

The end of the world looks like everywhere else

Yeshe Matthews — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 17:53:11 +0000

What do you think about when you envision the end of the world? Buildings in rubble? Nuclear fall-out? Desert wastelands? The Earth reclaiming shopping malls and office buildings with vines growing up escalators and trees taking over elevator shafts?

Are there people in your version of the end of the world? Dictators? Victims? Police? Families? Terrorists? Doctors? Aliens from Outer Space? Or is your version empty of sentient life?

Pop culture frequently depicts the end of the world as a wind-swept techno-wasteland, with small, armed gangs of bandits who lord over a decimated post-apocalyptic society. There's usually a hero. He's usually a white guy. This is not even close to reality.

For many, the end of the world has already come and gone, and it looks eerily like everywhere else.

In Rwanda, the end of the world came in 1994, and looked like 800,000 people being murdered within the span of 100 days by their countrymen. Many who survived the massacre can hardly explain what they witnessed and how they survived, yet they still live on, with jobs and homes and families. They are traumatized, to put it mildly. Yet, according to a 2016 study, Rwanda is now the 5th best place in the world for women's equality.

In Tibet, the end of the world came in 1959, when the 8th century prediction of Guru Padmasambhava Rinpoche came to life: "When the iron bird flies and horses run on wheels, the Tibetan people will be scattered like ants across the face of the earth." Today, though millions of Tibetans survived and escaped as refugees, many of them will never see their homeland again. Everything they knew in the world came to an end, and yet they still live, breathe, and thrive in new landscapes.

In Laos, the end of the world came between 1964 and 1973 as the United States dropped an unprecedented number of bombs there: the equivalent of a TON of explosives PER PERSON in the country. To this day, faulty bombs that did not explode 40 years ago are still killing an average of 50 people per year in Laos. My family sponsored a Laotian refugee family to come to US in the 70s. They arrived with a mother, a father, his brother, and a daughter. The men carried the 8-months pregnant mother over a river to escape widespread civil war. Their daughter was born in a refugee camp. They now live somewhere in upstate New York. It has not been easy for them, yet they adapted and found the things they needed here to rebuild their lives. I'll never forget when they discovered they could buy very, very hot peppers here. That was a huge relief for the whole family after months of bland American food. Sometimes, comfort burns a little.

For modern Jews, the end of the world was the Holocaust. Yet, Jewish people still live all over the earth and thrive, creating secure lives, passing on their traditions, cooking nourishing food, observing the Sabbath, and defending their rights. Truth be told, the end of the world has come and gone more than once for the Jewish people throughout history, yet they survive and continue their journey onward in the name of their culture and religion.

Many of us in the United States are experiencing increased anxiety about the end of the world. We have wild and terrifying imaginings about what might happen. Yet these imaginings are still often rooted in Hollywood ideas, rather than simply looking to history for the facts about what the end of the world has looked like when it has already happened thousands of times.

The end of the world will not be total global decimation. It will not be one sudden bright light followed by 10,000 years of lifeless nuclear wind. It will not resemble anything like Mad Max. The end of the world is actually not going to look like a cinematic worst case scenario. Rather, it is something that has already happened for millions of people in their own ways, and still happens daily in places like Syria.

The end of the world still has people in it, trying their best to live their lives: drinking coffee and making love and working or salvaging scraps, having babies and making art and suffering and getting by. The end of the world truly just looks like everywhere else, but with catastrophic loss as part of the picture. Bearing the weight of that loss, people still find ways to continue.

What hubris hides behind western anxiety about the end of the world? Our fear is no mere worry about "what if I die?" though that is one part of it. Rather, our fear is heightened and becomes phantasmagoric because it includes our presumption that what we have already seen happen over and over elsewhere cannot possibly happen in our country. We look for more fantastical outcomes in our own end of the world visions, rather than noting the grim realities of history that are already present.

We feel especially fearful because deep down, beneath our hubris, we know it actually COULD happen here, just as it has happened in countless other places to millions of other people. What could possibly make us think we are exempt from the same tyranny, the same violence, the same greed that has hunted and driven humanity for thousands of years of wars and conflict already?

We are not exempt. We are not protected from the most base aspects of human nature by our constitution, our government, or our military. We are not protected from the worst that could happen by donating to causes or by attending marches (though these things are still very important acts of dissent and collective power). We are not protected by our religions, religious leaders, beliefs, or religious debates. We are not protected from the worst of humanity's acts by our ideals or our ideas, and certainly not by white Hollywood fantasy heroes.

The one thing, the only thing, that can actually protect anyone from the worst of humanity's acts is each individual's deliberate choice to actualize the potential of the decency of humanity (we're not even expecting humanity's best! Just basic decency is all that's required!), and frankly, even that cannot be widely counted upon as reliable.

This is why it is so important that we carefully examine the history of all of the times that the world has already ended, and ask ourselves how we can individually and collectively diverge from previous patterns of violence, escalation, war-mongering, fear-mongering, strategic avoidance of the truth, the promotion of lies and "alternative facts", enlistment in extremist attitudes, addiction to intensity, bandwagon-jumping, and other fruitless and caustic tactics that only serve to keep us part of the system of human greed, hate, and base selfishness. Instead, we need to reach for something different.

It is imperative, right now, that we learn to be as humane and compassionate as possible, and that our compassion become our force for change. It is imperative, right now, that we learn to root out attitudes of supremacy and intolerance in ourselves, even when we think we are "the good guys." It is imperative, right now, that we stop bashing potential allies and start find ways to creatively disagree while still honoring the sovereignty of human life and culture. It is imperative, right now, that we learn how to identify the signs of aggression in ourselves and look at how we are at risk for adopting the tactics of our oppressors in times of duress and fear.

The end of the world looks like everywhere else. It's already happening. It's been happening for a long time, but it's not too late to change. We do not want to wake up 6 months from now and realize that our horrified compulsion of our post-apocalyptic fantasy has blinded us to the reality of what is possible right here, right now. We have history and the capacity to learn. We have history and the capacity to love. We have history and the capacity to create new outcomes. Let's try something different, for once.

It actually IS normal, but it's not right

Yeshe Matthews — Tue, 10 Jan 2017 01:14:48 +0000

I keep hearing and reading this phrase, "This is not normal." It's being applied to the changes already happening in our government, the limitation of individual freedoms, and the expectations of more changes and limitations yet to come after the inauguration. The phrase is a way for people to share their outrage that the ideals and protocols that govern a democratic society are being systematically eroded, and a way to note that we mustn't become complacent or tolerant of these erosions.

I agree that we should not become complacent about these erosions, but as an historian, I must point out that when we say this is not normal, we are ignoring thousands of years of world history and hundreds of years of American history that show us that dictatorships, abuses of power, corruption, and acts of terror in service to social control are, in fact, frighteningly normal among human beings. From Haiti to South Africa to Rwanda to Tibet to Ireland to Poland to Russia to Mongolia to the Americas to the Pacific Islands, we have seen voluminous evidence of the hard, cruel hand of the privileged elite at the throat of human freedom for the sake of profit, to justify the enslavement of human beings and the theft of resources, and to place a small group of people in power over a large group of people.

The reality is that what is currently happening in the United States IS normal in the wider context of human history and the abuse of power...but it's not right.

This is why it is imperative that we focus on becoming warrior bodhisattvas. The warrior bodhisattva does not seek to harm anyone or anything, does not puff herself up with arrogance, does not congratulate himself about eviscerating another's well-being. Rather, the warrior bodhisattva knows that in order to create balance and harmony, the path within must remain gentle regardless of what might occur on the path without.

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche wrote this about becoming a spiritual warrior:

We tend to think that the threats to our society or to ourselves are outside of us. We fear that some enemy will destroy us. But a society is destroyed from the inside, not from an attack by outsiders. We may imagine the enemy coming with spears and machine guns to kill us, massacre us. In reality, the only thing that can destroy us is within ourselves. If we have too much arrogance, we will destroy our gentleness. And if we destroy gentleness, then we destroy the possibility of being awake, and then we cannot use our intuitive openness to extend ourselves in situations properly. Instead, we generate tremendous aggression.

How, amidst the turmoil of a society that is being steered by a sociopath, with a populace made up of individuals so concerned with their own welfare that they would deny the welfare of others, can we find gentleness? Is it even appropriate to find gentleness at this time? Are we foolish to think gentleness has a seat at the table in these conditions? Questions like these lead us toward aggression if we allow them to, if we allow ourselves to answer from our fear rather than our wisdom. Wisdom points us back to Rinpoche's words, and the acknowledgement that if we do not generate and practice gentleness, we risk becoming just like the aggressors we fear and distrust.

So, in order to truly touch the heart of gentleness, and to understand the vastness of the power of gentleness, we cannot turn away from thousands of years of world history and hundreds of years of American history that point to the truth: that what is happening right now IS normal in the scope of human behavior. But even though it is normal, it's not right. We must do better, and we can do better if we begin within.

Don't forget, we also have thousands of years of history to show us that no matter how many despots have come along they have all failed eventually, that humanity's need for goodness has always prevailed, and that it has prevailed through individual acts of gentleness: neighbors helping neighbors, parents helping their children, children helping elders, the wealthy helping the impoverished, those with privilege helping the underprivileged. Ours can be a revolution of helping one another through these difficult times, and emerging stronger for having found our gentleness.

Breathe deeply. Stay with your heart. Rise, and be helpful. Down this path is the surest way to create the type of history that runs counter to the longstanding, all-too-normal narrative of abuse.

You are the Light

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 19 Dec 2016 23:43:58 +0000

The Solstice is near, and every day, the sun sets earlier now. The gathering dark is a reminder of how important it is to rest, to pause, to nourish ourselves with quietude. In the dark, growing things germinate. In the dark, our shadows sigh with relief, grateful for a moment away from the harsh light that seemingly always finds our flaws. In the dark, we can be present with the truths about our vulnerability that we might fear to bring out into the public square.

When we are submerged in the dark time of the year, we can bleed the crisp edges of our mundane lives off the page a bit and become more magical, more diffuse, less judging, more generous, more magnanimous. For many, the nadir of the solar year represents a complex combination of revelry, love, stress, and critique of false or forced jollity. It's not simply the holiday season that brings this forth. It's something about the light, or lack thereof. The peaceable and inconvenient silence of the long night beckons us inward, away from inauthenticity, regardless of how many blazing neon signs leer and tempt us to fling caution to the winds and overindulge, overdo, overspend, or overachieve. We are, if we deeply listen, instead being called to just get very, very real, and love very, very much.

In the gathering darkness of this solstice season, and the gathering shadows of greed and systemic abuse in the world, it is tempting to vanish inward in a spirit of discouragement, fear, or sorrow. While these feelings are valid, they are not likely to accomplish much, so try your best to reframe your perspective so that your quietude is not torturous, but is rather nurturing and healing. You must not allow yourself to be overcome. You must remember who you are, and the power of one person's love.

How many times in your life has the kind word or gesture of one person changed everything in a moment for you? Countless times, to be sure. When you needed it, many times, loving people in your life came along and lit a lamp for you in your hour of confusion and murkiness. When you are feeling low, one of the most valuable things you can do is to recall those kindnesses, and to light your own heart like a candle, illuminating the way for someone else in pain for a while. Doing this may not end your own pain, but it can supply you with a different emotion for a while, and even that is enough.

You can succumb to the glaring stressors and hide from the world, or you can soften into the glow of your own inner fire, warming yourself and others, even when times are tough. The choice is yours. Try it. You are allowed to emerge from the dark night of the year, and from the dark nights of the soul, feeling grateful for what you have and who you are, generous, pleased to participate in the joy of others, and aglow with the happiness that even a single moment of compassion can generate.

This winter solstice, and every season, you are the light. Don't forget.

Being the Change

Yeshe Matthews — Tue, 13 Dec 2016 00:25:43 +0000

From an informative 2011 article in The New York Times:

Perhaps you’ve noticed a bumper sticker that purports to quote [Gandhi]: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” When you first come across it, this does sound like something Gandhi would have said. But when you think about it a little, it starts to sound more like ... a bumper sticker...

Sure enough, it turns out there is no reliable documentary evidence for the quotation. The closest verifiable remark we have from Gandhi is this: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.”

Well, another reminder...things are not always as they seem. But just because Gandhi did not say that exact quote, nor did Nelson Mandela, Henry David Thoreau, the Buddha, or any other number of notable thinkers actually say exactly the quotes that appear on mugs, t-shirts, and memes, doesn't mean the sentiment isn't valuable. It just means we have to work a little harder to a) document our sources, and b) apply ourselves to the actions that keep us from sliding into the torpor of bumper-sticker activism.

Note from Captain Obvious: If you want to be the change you wish to see in the world, you are going to have to change. What's more, you may end up having to change in ways you don't think you want to change, or in ways that feel uncomfortable to you. There is no escape from the completeness of your intention to change when you actually sincerely ask for change.

So, today, really try to identify one thing you will do to be the change you wish to see in the world...something that actually involves YOU CHANGING. What will it be? Putting a note in your phone to bring re-usable grocery bags? Literally sitting down and being quiet instead of sharing your opinion when a person who has less privilege than you starts talking? Setting a timer to ensure you take showers of fewer than 5 minutes in duration? What will it be? Because to be the change, well, you have to be the change. It starts at home in your own body, actions, and space, and then rather than ending there, it proceeds forth from there.

I'm planning to make a big change in my life in 2017. Through two new projects, I plan to shift more fully into the role of advisor and support for the many people who are doing the beneficial work of creating and sustaining sacred circles and spaces. Watch this space next week when I announce:

my new Patreon page where you will be invited to help me develop and test Priestess, my forthcoming book about methods for living a sustainable life of sacred service
a monthly video conference class to help assist people who are building Pagan and polytheist temples. This class, called "Raise the Temple" will be offered by donation with 100% of proceeds benefitting CAYA Pagan Congregation, a nonprofit 501(c)3 Pagan, polytheist church.

Seed the world with magic

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 22:16:08 +0000

Part of the practice of taking joy in the joy of others is to actively create opportunities for others to experience their joy. But how can you find the wherewithal to do that amidst difficult times of your own? You shouldn't fake it. You shouldn't give up, either. Instead, you can launch a personal campaign to seed the world with magic, and ripple it outward from there. Your magic does not need to involve wands or velvet capes, though if it delights you to bring these along, please do. Your magic involves actions taken to make the world a better place for others, in ways small and large.

Begin by making a short list of things you can do, quickly, quietly, and with minimal effort, to bring joy into someone's day. You can pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line. You can pick or purchase an inexpensive bunch of flowers or fragrant herbs and surreptitiously leave them in public places, tied with a piece of ribbon. You can bake or buy a cake for your co-workers and leave it with an anonymous note in the break room. You can compliment strangers on their good taste, cute smiles, or witty remarks. You can participate in a Little Free Library. Each of these small acts is a seed.

From there, reach higher. You can bag food at a local food bank. You can help with a fundraiser for a good cause. You can organize a beach clean-up day. You can light candles for those who are suffering. You can sing love-grams into the voicemails of your friends. You can jump on the bandwagon of someone's GoFundMe and spread it like wildfire. You can organize a group of friends to serve soup to the homeless. You can participate in ceremonies and rituals for peace, or lead them. You can remember tiny details about people that others don't usually remember, and watch them smile shyly when they realize you have. You can make the effort. Each of these acts is a seed.

From there, reach higher. You can start a business that creates joy for others through art, beauty, nourishment, and creativity. You can fill out the paperwork to create a 501(c) charity organization and provide services that are needed. You can help to build a temple or two, advise ethical organizations as they strategize for their futures, step in when you see abuse happening and refuse to back down, create a commune where artists can safely live and hone their craft. Teach yourself to build websites. Host epic parties that raise money for good causes. Each of these acts is a seed.

I used to think about how I could create happiness in the world, and I considered all of the items on this list. They intimidated me. My ego stepped in and tried to tell me my ideas were both frivolous and impossible.

Now, I have done everyone one of these things and I refuse to be intimidated by any dream I have of creating joy, no matter how frivolous or impossible it may seem. Instead, I look for new frivolous and impossible ways to create more joy. Not all of the seeds I plant take root, but I would rather scatter thousands and reap hundreds than stay frozen in fear of planting a single one.

Start where you are. Your magic is needed. Now is the holy moment.

Joy in the joy of others

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 28 Nov 2016 19:13:43 +0000

"May I be a brimming vessel of joy in this world and all worlds, delighting in the happiness of others as their suffering is alleviated."

Daily, I recite this phrase as part of my devotional practice. In the dharma, joy in the joy of others is one of the Four Immeasurables, that is, one of the four qualities that is needed by immeasurable numbers of people, that can generate immeasurable amounts of benefit, and that is immeasurable in its vast and timeless nature. The other three Immeasurables are lovingkindness, compassion, and equanimity.

To take joy in the joy of others is a profound practice. It's fun, but not frivolous. It is a way of life more than a once-per-day meditation. In order to accomplish this practice successfully, we must be willing to a) recognize the true cause of joy, which is the alleviation of suffering, b) actively seek to alleviate suffering in the lives of others, regardless of whether we like them or not, c) analyze our motivations when we feel someone else's joy is somehow unwarranted, or when we are judging it, and d) allow ourselves to fully experience joy in the moments where suffering is alleviated, with full awareness that all emotional states and circumstances are fleeting.

To recognize the true of cause of joy is to first acknowledge that everyone, without exception, experiences suffering in their lives. Some may experience more suffering than others, but there is no hierarchy of pain here. Rather, when we acknowledge that all beings suffer, and that all suffering is difficult for the one experiencing it, we are then freer to truly have compassion for all beings who are suffering, and we are motivated to help. The true cause of joy is in that moment when suffering is lifted and a person can breathe a sigh of relief, have a belly laugh, smile a secret smile in their heart, or otherwise experience upliftment.

When we actively seek to alleviate suffering in the lives of others, we must transcend the definition of suffering as mere emotional or physical discomfort or pain in order to assess the best course of action. As I mentioned last week, seizing power from a dictator will certainly make him and his followers feel unhappy, but will ultimately alleviate the suffering that he is experiencing from his creation of negative karma, and that he is causing to many other people with his overbearing actions. Similarly, having a frank and direct conversation with an addict about their harmful behavior might not immediately feel happy-making, but it is an action taken toward generating lasting happiness by ending the suffering of addiction. Taking your child to get a cavity filled is not an immediate joy at all, but will create lasting joy when the painful tooth is repaired. We need to be aware that while balloon animals, jokes, gifts, and hugs help to alleviate suffering, so can boundaries, difficult conversations, the accomplishment of challenging tasks, and resistance to harmful patterns.

One of the most difficult steps in this practice is to learn to take joy in the joy of even people you do not like. One of the most instructive aspects of this process is to look at how you respond to the success of those you think are undeserving, and to analyze the ways in which you compare your joy to the joy of others as if there was a cosmic scale out of balance. Do you worry that you are somehow not getting your fair share? The ability to release judgment and genuinely celebrate the joy of others, whether you like them or not, and even when you are facing your own suffering, is a sign of a certain level of spiritual mastery.

Finally, when amidst suffering, human beings experience constriction. We tend to clamp down around negative feelings. We pull inward and become small, tight, and fearful. Sometimes we over-identify with our suffering, making it a stubborn source of pride or self-abasement or social status. Suffering can become competitive, with people vying for the position of "who has it worse." In order to accomplish the practice of joy in the joy of others, we must learn to fully observe the moment of joy, wherever it arises, and for whom. We can all, then, share in one another's good fortune. We can allow ourselves to open to joy, to surrender to it, and to experience the innocence of it entirely, regardless of our constrictive tendencies or our fear of the inevitability that suffering will arise again. It surely will, yet it should not block our joy in a child's giggle, in the smile on the face of an Elder after a good turn, or in a pure moment of heart connection between friends. Indeed, only by fully opening to the joy of each possible moment can we cultivate the skills that will help us when we also must accept the realities of suffering. Joy and suffering are not a double-sided coin; rather, they bracket a spectrum of experience, each with their own lessons to teach us.

Cultivating Awareness

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 19:14:58 +0000

Last week, I asked you if you were really and truly ready to understand what it means to "be woke." Have you been thinking about it? There is no better time than now to wake up from the dreams of delusion that govern the majority of our day to day lives.

Awareness is not automatic. It is not reflexive. It requires attention and cultivation, and a willingness to engage with discomfort as your brain begins to process what it might mean to accept reality. Otherwise, in the name of "self-care", a very broad term that occasionally thinly veils abject self-centeredness, we might be cultivating avoidance instead of awareness. Psychologists report that avoidance is related to anxiety, and that it is quite common. In finance, aversion to reality among investors is known as the "Ostrich effect." Our daily avoidance often amounts to simply numbing out by playing pretend, eating, drinking, rationalization, addiction to work, and refusal to engage with facts over feelings.

Putting things off, assuaging one's own fears with half-truths and platitudes,spiritual bypassing, and related phenomena might seem easier than making the decision to stay alert, pay attention, watch keenly, speak up, and be present for what is happening. Our world is not really set up to encourage us in our awareness. In the age of the Internet, when attachment, aversion, and indifference are merely a click away, we can follow our whims regardless of where they lead us. Our knee-jerk reactions can swiftly lead us down the path of obsession, down the path or avoidance, down the path of rage, or, with awareness, we can step off the intensity express and start walking down the path to enlightenment.

Cultivating awareness of how, why, and to what we are reacting and responding in stress situations is one step in cultivating overall awareness. Enlightenment is the individual's capacity for total, limitless awareness, which perceives everything exactly as it is. The ability to see what is, and accept the reality of it, does not mean that we should allow oppression and persecution to stand while we bliss out listening to mantras on our headphones and congratulating ourselves on clear seeing; it means that we know what is happening, we know where we stand, and we know that we are ready to take compassionate action as needed to alleviate suffering.

In a universe made of suffering, where we are each veritably soaking in the suffering of our own lives and others, to truly "be woke" is to refuse to turn away from suffering in any form. It is easy to start cultivating your awareness of suffering among people with whom you agree. It is much harder to cultivate awareness of the suffering of the people with whom you rigorously disagree. Plus, when you work to cultivate that particularly difficult awareness, it is possible that you may engage in spiritual bypassing by removing your focus from the reality of their suffering and instead focusing on your own tepid, temporary version of "love and light." That's not the same thing as incisive awareness of the reality of their situation.

When we cultivate awareness, truly, we begin to see that our opinions aren't actually very reliable. We begin to confront the stories we have been told, and the stories we have been telling ourselves. The fact is, lack of education begets suffering, but education itself can also force you to confront unpleasantries and therefore cause suffering. Poverty begets suffering, but so does wealth in that it ripens one for paranoia and greed over time. Loss begets suffering, but so does an overabundance when one is unprepared for it. Pain and stress cause suffering, but so do ennui and boredom and cynicism.

The key to acknowledging the reality of suffering is to acknowledge that all beings, regardless of their circumstances and privileges, experience suffering and wish for that suffering to end. From this point of acknowledgement, we are free to then address the causes of suffering. We can address the suffering of the oppressed, and we can also address the suffering that caused people to become oppressors. We can address the needs of victims, and we can also address the needs of perpetrators, who may be mentally ill, or might have been victims of abuse themselves. We can address the suffering of the poor who constantly experience fear and pain over their basic survival, and we can also address the suffering of those who, burdened with more than their fair share, have become cold-hearted and callous, effectively limiting their ability to participate in the act of being human.

Not all methods of addressing suffering are gentle, and this is why we must assiduously avoid spiritual bypassing, because the alleviation of suffering is not merely about how we address emotions and feelings, but rather is about how we address the causes of suffering. Seizing power from a dictator will certainly make him and his followers feel unhappy, but it will ultimately alleviate his suffering, and the suffering of many others. Sometimes, compassion is a splash of freezing cold water upon the cosy warmth of privilege.

Refuge

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 23:07:41 +0000

Every day, the world over, millions of people recite their dharma vows:
“I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.”

According to Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, to take refuge in the Buddha is to have an example to look toward. It is not to have a savior in whom you place your faith, hope, and trust. Rather, taking refuge in the Buddha means that you, like the Buddha did over 2500 years ago, acknowledge and abandon the fundamental groundlessness of religious systems that promise you salvation if you look outside of yourself for answers. Second, to take refuge in the dharma is to place your trust in a system of teachings that are not "gospel" but will spark a process of refinement in you, guiding you on a journey deep within yourself that has no visible end. And finally, to take refuge in the sangha is to embrace the fact that there are others on the same path as you, to affirm that all of you are in this process as a community and can support one another, and to acknowledge that each of you is nonetheless fundamentally alone in your own journey.

To take refuge is not to cozy up in the lap of false hope; it is to become a spiritual warrior. It is not a relief; it is a challenge. It is not an invitation to become soft in our compassion, but to temper ourselves in its flames. Taking refuge is a deeply personal choice that one makes for the benefit of all beings, not from selfish motivations or a desire to be coddled by anyone. It is a path of learning to walk on a trail that many have walked before, that many are walking right now, and that many will walk in the future, and yet to still be completely on your own. Refuge is about learning that you are both your own agent of inner solace, and your own strict teacher driving yourself along that path. It is not to pray for ease, but to acknowledge that ease, like struggle, is temporary, conditional, and illusory. Once you have taken refuge, you can no longer lie to yourself about the fantasy of spiritual practice. Instead, you must become aware of the reality of spiritual practice, and surrender to the mystery that it unlocks in your life.

From the article:

"If we adopt a prefabricated religion that tells us exactly the best way to do everything, it is as though that religion provides a complete home with wall-to-wall carpeting. We get completely spoiled. We don’t have to put out any effort or energy, so our dedication and devotion have no fiber. We wind up complaining because we didn’t get the deluxe toilet tissue that we used to get. So at this point, rather than walking into a nicely prepared hotel or luxurious house, we are starting from the primitive level. We have to figure out how we are going to build our city and how we are going to relate with our comrades who are doing the same thing."

Right now, at a very difficult moment in American history, so many hopes are dashed. So many people are feeling a loss of faith in government, in other people, in their own religions, in their gods, in the power of prayer, and in the possibility of a better future. Many people are only just now realizing the impermanent and ephemeral nature of everything they once believed firmly, and are feeling rootless, disappointed, and failed by ways of thinking they formerly held dear. Much of what is emerging in the current political landscape seems bleak at best, outright sinister at worst. In times of such outward disillusionment, a trend toward despondency, anxiety, and depression can take root, causing the conditions that heighten inward delusion and suffering. Times of trial like these can lead to nihilistic attitudes, hardening of hearts, and spiritual suffocation in the quicksand of fear.

There is an alternative view, of course. If you have chosen the path of being a spiritual warrior, times like these can be like a splash of freezing water that creates a moment of awakening. Are you ready to understand what it really, truly means to "be woke"?

During moments such as we are now experiencing, we must look through the eyes of refuge and see that the current circumstances are not the end of us; they are our work. The challenges we face as a national and global sangha are intimately related to the work we now must do within ourselves, for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to seek refuge by hiding under the blankets, numbing ourselves with addictive or compulsive behaviors, or cutting ourselves off from reality. None of these paths are refuge- they are escapism, which is different. These behaviors are understandable, but useless.

Now is the time to actively accept responsibility that each of us, even though we are fundamentally alone and may feel very afraid, must do our best to create circumstances of compassion, sanctuary, and liberation from delusion that will benefit others. We must courageously throw freezing water upon our tendencies to seek the warmth of privilege. We must awaken the parts of ourselves that have substituted feelings for facts all of these years, and curtail the tendency to choose empty platitudes over facing the truth. We must cut through our own delusions with the sharpest blade possible to sever the growth of selfishness and speed the healing of the whole being.

If you would seek refuge, do not seek self-gratification, which leads of ego-centric clinging and aversion. If you would seek refuge, do not deny any part of the ugliness of your own process. If you would seek refuge, forget bliss and reach deep into the discomfort. Though it may seem a paradox, when you do this you somehow become happier, more whole, more calm, stronger, more courageous, and more satisfied than you can possibly imagine amidst your current life of relative convenience in the pre-fabricated illusion of reality you had perhaps hoped would remain intact. Through that door of acceptance of what it means to become a spiritual refugee, which seems so frightening, the only lasting joy that is not contingent upon outside circumstances or delusion awaits you.

While you may not feel that it is appropriate for you to take ceremonial refuge to become a Buddhist in this life, please also remember that the first Buddha was not a Buddhist, either. He just started a protest march that is beyond time and labels, and he has no intention of stopping until all beings are free. You can take refuge in this idea of a never-ending journey toward collective wholeness, the cultivation of your own wholeness as a part of that, and the necessity of ultimately leaving no one behind. If nothing else, you can take heart in his example and the example of so many who have come before you, who have created profound comfort and support for others even in difficult circumstances.

By choosing to open your eyes and see reality for what it truly is, you can become limitless, and your capacity to lend help to others will increase. This is what is needed now.

Chasing the Invisible

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 10 Oct 2016 21:42:26 +0000

How much time do you spend each day thinking about the past or the future? Do you find yourself ruminating upon past problems and reflecting on past joys wistfully? Do you find yourself worrying about what might happen, if you will be alone, if you will be ok in the future? These thoughts arise unbidden from the landscape of the mind and provide us with the majority of the narrative we pay attention to daily.

The past is tricky, because unless we spend at least some time reflecting on what has happened, we are unlikely to learn or retain valuable lessons. Yet, every one of us has experienced the ways that sad memories and depressing or regretful thoughts creep into our consciousness and drain our life force. If you find yourself rehashing old arguments and conversations, thinking about what you could have said in order to "win" the discussion or gain situational favor, then it is likely that you are not getting the best possible lesson from your reflective time. If you do not have reflective time in your life deliberately set aside, it's even more important to pay attention to how rumination crashes into your daily life with a painful force, threatening your ability to be present.

The future is also tricky. Though you might consult oracles, make plans, coordinate schedules, save money, and create certain conditions in your life, you cannot ever really be sure of what will happen. All it takes is one single instant for everything to shift, for plans to fall away, for the whole fabric of life to change shape. In light of this, you must not get too attached to your mental fabrications of the future. Yet, you still must plan, because if you do not acknowledge that winter is just around the corner, and if you fail to store food sensibly, you will starve. Without any plans at all, the future is chaos. This is why it's important to pay attention to things like social security, the rising sea level, and health care contingencies. If you do not set aside the time to pay attention to these things, they, too, burst unbidden into your mind at the most unlikely and inconvenient times, like when you are just getting ready to sleep, or celebrate a birthday. And what good can you do about them then?

Without proper deliberate attention to reflection and planning, without the time put aside to attend to these things, they begin to dominate your life, swinging like a wrecking ball and derailing your intimate relationship with the Here and Now. Think about how much of your day you spend chasing the invisible: ruminating, rehashing, planning, and dreaming about what may come. It adds up. How much time? An hour? 6? More? How much of your day is spent in a time and place other than here and now?

When you find yourself chasing the invisible, yet again, don't judge yourself too harshly. Just notice how your human, animal self is seeking a comfort that it will not find in the past or future, and turn your attention instead to the wonder of Here, Now. It is possible that you will find everything you might be trying to fabricate if you do this.

Steady Through

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 19 Sep 2016 16:27:39 +0000

You're at your desk trying to finish the report that is due by the end of the day, but the phone keeps ringing, there are emails and texts popping up like mad, you're distracted because you're worried about that scratchy throat that's just beginning, you're dreaming of your big escape this weekend for some quiet time, and, oh wait, there's the phone again.

Your kids have been screaming at each other nonstop for three days, all of your laundry needs to be re-washed because the cat peed in the hamper, you've got your period, the argument you had with your partner still hasn't worn off and the feelings are right below the surface, you can't find your wallet, and you forgot it was your mom's birthday. Again.

All of the bills are due four days before payday, the doctor's office has now sent three notices that you need to pay for the test you thought was covered by insurance, you're pretty sure you have a cavity and need new glasses, your phone warranty expired just before you dropped it last week, and the airline fares to go visit your family for the holidays just keep going up before you get a chance to buy your ticket.

For many different reasons, it's easy to get overwhelmed. Work, family, finances, email, and even social activities can pile up, causing irritability, anxiety, jitters, imbalance, and worry. These difficult emotional states have a tendency to not stay put within the echo chamber of the mind. They want to go out into the world. They overspill their borders and start to seep out, touching and tainting everything in reach. These emotions lead to snapping, withdrawing, avoiding, blaming, and getting cranky about even things that usually give us joy, like someone's silly joke.

It's easy to think that our external circumstances determine our emotional states, and to some degree they do. Our external circumstances, if nothing else, provide our minds with things to latch on to, complain about, resist, and avoid. But the choice to do any of those things is still a choice. The emotion arises automatically, but we do not have to follow it when it starts to run away with us.

Instead, we can stay steady through. We can acknowledge that, yes, things are difficult right now; yes, I am feeling annoyed; yes, I am overwhelmed; yes, I am afraid about the future. But then we can choose to persevere, to continue doing what must be done step by step, and in doing this, we dissipate the negative emotional response instead of clinging to it.

However, when the emotion arises and we choose to follow it, we will be led through an exhausting obstacle course, wherein everything and everyone becomes just another problem on the pile, whether that's true or not. When we reach this state, even helpful and generous offers from others feel like a burden, and this can cause us to deny ourselves one of the greatest things one human being can give another: help.

Down through the center of your being, starting at the crown of your head and reaching down through and past your tailbone, is a shaft of light. When stress, daily drama, and expectations start to beckon you to go cycling through a new wash of negative emotions, just retreat into that shaft of light for a moment. When you are bathed in that light, the light of "Now," see if you can find it in you to choose your responses to your emotions rather than feeling overcome by them. Everyone experiences overwhelm sometimes. There's no reason to judge ourselves for it. But there's no reason to latch onto it, either.

Your Sacred Wild Self

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 21:05:21 +0000

Do you know who you are apart from the opinions of others? Do you know who you are without the labels you apply to yourself or your process of identity in the public sphere? Do you know who you are without your accomplishments and mistakes? Do you know who you are without your pain?

Right now, before you automatically begin to argue that these things are all ways of knowing yourself, before you begin to defensively reach for security in your list of labels or identity markers, before you react with fear to empty presence, try instead to just play pretend: in your mind's eye, strip off all appearances and become a vast swirling cloud of nothingness. Just try it for one minute, knowing you can always come back.

"I am not my name. I am not my appearance. I am not my preferences. I am not my gender. I am not my religion. I am not my social media persona. I am not my job. I am not my relationships. I am not my problems. I am not my...."

Who or what are you when you are not made of things? Who or what are you when no one is looking? Who or what are you when you are not reporting to anyone, judged by anyone, approved or legitimized by anyone, or compared to anyone?

You are, now and always, nothing more or less than a sacred wild self. You are something beyond language. beyond identity, beyond appearances, beyond pleasure and pain. Your name, your labels, your appearance, and your experiences may serve to describe you, but they are not YOU.

YOU are a very smart animal that wears clothes and labels, but that also hears the call to return to a less contrived and more natural state in which labels, clothes, words, identities, and ego all disappear, replaced by the naked song of your heart. Your sacred wild self clings to the naked song of your heart, the music that only it can hear, even when every other sense and sensibility seems to drop away in times of grief, pain, death.

Your sacred wild self is inconvenient at board meetings. She is a mess at cocktail parties. She gets in trouble on the Internet for having strong opinions and fighting with people. She does not behave herself in church, or in line at the DMV. Your sacred wild self gets you into some problematic situations and warns you against others (whether you listen or not). Your sacred wild self bows to no one. She is more likely to sniff at the hand of a stranger warily than offer hospitality. So often, because she is not socially acceptable, you ignore her or try to keep her quiet, or put her on a leash, or chain her out in the yard when company comes over.

But your sacred wild self is also the most raw, authentic part of you, who is there for you at some of the most extreme moments of your life. She kicks free from negative situations, she gnaws through societal shackles, she growls at those who would cause you harm or hardship, and she sings you to your death with her wyrd, haunting, discordant song.

For everything else you might wear, do, or say, your sacred wild self is who you are when life strips all of those things away. She deserves your respect. She deserves your caution. And she deserves to be nourished by appropriate activities. She loves to be in nature. She loves good food. She loves sex. She loves sleep. She loves nudity. She loves getting her ears scratched. And when she doesn't get these things, she gets irritable, gruff, and bitey.

When was the last time you nourished your sacred, wild self? If it's been a while, how might you nourish her today?

You Are Not Public Property

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 19:23:59 +0000

First, you are not "property" at all.

Doesn't always feel like it, though, does it? You are a social security number, with legal government surveillance attached to you. You are an online stream of data feeding advertisers, with dollar signs attached to you. You are a parent of a toddler or a teen, with endless questions and needs following you around. You are tethered to a device that squawks every time anyone wants to know anything about you or say anything to you, no matter where you go.

It's no wonder why more and more people want to curl up in a ball and hide from the overwhelming visibility and expectations we encounter every day. For some, this is merely inconvenient. For others, it manifests more seriously, as anxiety, depression, or suicidal tendencies, because the desire to escape from constant demand is so strong it begins to affect the mind, body, and hormonal balance.

Whether it's the ringing of the phone, flip comments on a thoughtful post, the prying of a casual acquaintance, or a pop-up window demanding your information, there are many seeming obstacles to privacy. The only true privacy one has, sometimes, is found exclusively in the depths of one's own mind.

It's a good thing that, not coincidentally, this is where the real you lives.

You are allowed to retreat. You are allowed to keep your own counsel. You are allowed to have opinions that you choose not to share. You are allowed to disagree and walk away quietly. You are allowed to be secretive about precious things so that they do not become soiled by the grabbing hands and suspicious eyes of the world.

When you cultivate space for privacy, for respite, for solitude, and for quiet, it's as if you have stepped into an inner river. From that wellspring flows so much creativity and happiness that eventually something will bubble up over the banks of your mind and flood its way into the world. When it does, it is a gift you can freely give with an open heart.

Iyanifa Ifalade TaShia Asanti says, "Give from the overflow." When you feel depleted, exposed, baked in the harsh light of the public eye, you have no overflow left, nothing to give. Your wellspring dries up in the heat. Do not be afraid to withdraw from everything from time to time and rejuvenate your spirit...in your own way, at your own pace, on your your terms. Remind yourself, and everyone else, that you belong to YOU, that you are not public property.

Then watch how quickly you begin to flow again.

There Is Only One Work

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 22 Aug 2016 19:38:50 +0000

What do you define the word "work" to mean?

Is your job your "work"? How about your household duties? Are your children "work"? Are your hobbies and activities "work"? How about your friends- are they "work"?

If we think of the word "work" as meaning labor for which we receive compensation, then the word has a very narrow scope indeed. Alternately, we might view work as anything that requires effort. "If I'm not sitting on my couch in my pajamas eating bonbons, then it's work," is something I have said from time to time, not entirely in jest. But that, too, is limiting because if that is true, then everything is always work, all the time, and our brains start to feel cramped and panicked.

Parenting is undoubtedly some of the most demanding, confusing work anyone can possibly do--there is no set job description, everything is at stake, and the pressure of constant physical and emotional labor can be exhausting. Yet many people proudly proclaim with every bit of their hearts that becoming a parent is the best thing they have ever done. So then, is that technically "work" or is it something else? Is "work" the word for it?

When you volunteer somewhere, does it feel the same as when you go to your job, or does it feel lighter, freer somehow, because money does not enter the equation? When you sit down with friends to play a game or do an art project, you are clearly exerting effort...but is it "work?" When you clean your house, your payment is a clean and enjoyable space, so was it "work" that yielded that result, or something else?

The word "work" is a vast-and-yet-reductive way to describe "doing stuff" in a wide variety of categories. When we use the word in different contexts, it means different things. Your personal filter also has a lot to do with what you think is "work" and what you think is play, or something else.

The reality is, there is only one Work. It is the Work you came here to do. It is the Work of your heart, your spirit, and your relationship with the divine. It is unique and it is essentially, permanently yours. You express your Work in everything you do, from your job to your parenting to the time you spend with friends to your hobbies. It is all one Work: the work of being YOU. You get paid for some of it, but not all. You enjoy some of it, but not all. You share the labor of some of it with others, but not all. Some of it feels like duty and some of it feels like pleasure, but all of it is Your Work.

If you need respite from labor, take it. Put it on the calendar and defend it from your own or others' expectations. If you need child care, pay someone reliable or find a friend in the same circumstances and trade so you can have a day to do your own thing. If you need a break from socializing, thinking and pondering, do something mindless for a while or turn off your phone or close your door and let the world wait.

But do not allow yourself to succumb to feelings of exhaustion due to Your Work, because living your life is the entirety of Your Work until you die. If you are not dead, you are thus still suited to doing The Work of being yourself, along with all of your choices, karmas, and unforeseen realities, and there is no use in letting that weigh you down.

Do what you need to do to care for yourself so that you can do Your Work with a whole heart, whether it pays you in money, pleasure, frustration or pain. In fact, if you are truly doing Your Work in earnest, it will eventually pay you in all of these things, and just like the work you do for money and the work you do for free, all of these things have inestimable value.

Take the Time

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 15 Aug 2016 05:06:26 +0000

"I don't have the time."

"I've been too busy."

"I have other obligations."

Every day, it is tempting to blame our schedules and obligations for the lack of time to spend in devotional activities such as meditation, altar-tending, communing with nature, or personal divination. After all, there are so many things that we have to pay attention to: work, home life, family life, community obligations, and more. Each of these is a major distraction from dedicated spiritual activity, right? It's hard to find the time to do the small things that give us spiritual centeredness and consolation when we have so much going on. It's hard to find the time for self-care when we have so many duties. It's hard to find the time to still the mind when we are saturated in a world of nonstop communication.

This is the story about time that we tell ourselves when we realize that yet another day has passed without a visit to our shrines or a session of seated meditation or that walk we planned to take so we could listen to the trees. So often, we sacrifice spiritual self-care to another, more seemingly vital, activity. And, let's be honest, sometimes we sacrifice spiritual self-care so that we can sit on the couch and watch a TV show or play on our phones. It's not always work that takes a higher priority than our spiritual lives. In fact, sometimes we build up our spiritual activity in our minds as "work" and then we seek to escape it instead of fulfilling it with joyful hearts.

But what if you took the time, nonetheless? What might that change in your mind? What if you could remember that the spiritual activities that you think of as "work" actually refresh and rejuvenate you? What if you wove spiritual activity so closely into your life that it became as natural to you as brushing your teeth or eating food every day?

What if you did not wait until it's too late?

For the next week, try this every day: attach one aspect of spiritual practice to a non-negotiable daily activity. Bring your child with you to the shrine to recite one single hymn or light a candle. Take 5 minutes of silence in the morning right after you put on your clothes. Spend three minutes in quiet gratitude at the start of each meal. Recite one mala of OM MANI PADME HUM during your commute, quietly or internally if you have to. If you have to walk to the mailbox, take the long way and talk to a tree. Append your practices to your obligations, and therefore sanctify those obligations. See what happens when practice is woven into life instead of separate from it. See what happens when you choose to control your time rather than letting it control you.

The Heart of Kuan Yin

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 11 Jul 2016 19:03:38 +0000

In the midst of unbelievable chaos, the ocean of samsara churning, worldwide suffering, internal doubt and turmoil, war, and grief, where do we turn? To whom do we dedicate the energy generated by suffering so that it can be transmuted into wisdom?

In the midst of celebration, closeness with beloveds, happy achievements, spontaneous declarations of love, contentment, friendship, and good news, where do we turn? To whom do we dedicate the energy of our joy so that it can be transmuted into wisdom?

"She Who Hears the Cries of the World" receives our exclamations and dedications of both suffering and joy. In her vast heart of wisdom is a lotus flower that is nourished by the mud of our sorrow as it turns its face to the sun of our happiness. She does not differentiate between "good" and "evil", and instead shows us that in reality, all is one. There is no duality. There are only manifestations of phenomenon that serve to enlighten us with increased awareness. In order to receive this awareness, we cannot choose to see ourselves as separate from one another. We must choose to see ourselves as cells in the same body, each doing its part to sustain the whole.

But what happens in the body when a group of cells becomes diseased? The body then creates new cells with the express purpose of restoring wholeness. On the surface, the assertive action of these cells might seem violent or revolutionary. White blood cells "devour" disease, rendering it harmless, consuming the fire of disease so that it cannot cause damage. Would we characterize the activity of the white blood cells as violent, illegal, or thuggish, when, in fact, the restoration of health is the ultimate act of compassion for the ailing?

To the same token, occasionally white blood cells go rogue and begin taking over the body. They can form clusters that become tumors. They can overrun the blood. Then, the body requires regulatory measures to cease the enthusiasm of the white blood cells. Treatments for this condition can involve potent chemicals, the administration of radiation, and surgery. Would we characterize these methods of treatment as willfully aggressive, overbearing, or cruel to Mother Nature, when, in fact, the restoration of health is the ultimate act of compassion for the ailing?

The Heart of Kuan Yin beats in each of us, reminding us to come home to the center of stillness where compassion may be found. It is not wrong to heal the diseases of suffering that threaten to harm our world. It is neither wrong to rein in our impulses to go overboard in doing so, especially when our actions replicate the tactics of the diseases we are seeking to heal.

In times of suffering, and times of joy, as well a times of confusion, we can dedicate the energy of our undifferentiated, painful, gorgeous, terrible, beautiful experiences to the Heart of Kuan Yin, and thereby return to true compassion, which is both fierce and tender at once.

May the merit of this practice,
and all of my activities,
be of endless benefit
to all beings in all realms,
beginningless and continuous.
May all obstacles be overcome,
and suffering cease,
at the sound of liberation.
May all beings be freed from suffering and its causes.
May all beings have happiness and its causes.
May we carry the essence of Kuan Yin in our hearts.
NAMO KUAN SHI YIN PUSA.

Strawberry Rose Chocolate Tamale Recipe

Yeshe Matthews — Mon, 02 May 2016 18:30:44 +0000

On May 1, in honor of the start of the merry month of May, my extended family made sweet tamales. Several folks, after seeing this picture on social media, asked for the recipe, so here it is. Making tamales from scratch is an art, a labor of love, and a commitment. Plan at least 4 hours for this task (as well as a few minutes the day before to toss the dry corn husks in water), especially if you're a beginner.

Ingredients:
1 bag of masa harina
1 bag of cane or coconut sugar
1 very large jar of coconut oil
1 package of ojas, or corn husks
salt and baking powder
1 bag chocolate chips
2 large containers of fresh strawberries
1 bag of dried strawberries
rose water
additional jams or jellies in jars

Prepare the ojas, or corn husks:
Soak overnight in water to soften
Remove from water one at a time and pull off any debris, corn silk, etc.
Gently pat dry with a clean towel and place to the side

Prepare the masa:
Prepare masa harina as directed on the side of the package (except triple the recipe). This means you will use 6 cups of flour, 4 cups of water, 3 teaspoons of baking powder. BUT: add one cup of sugar to the mix, and only use one teaspoon of salt instead of 3. Mix these ingredients together to make a dough, using clean hands, and making sure to break up any lumps. In a separate bowl, mash 2 cups of coconut oil with your hands so there are no lumps. Slowly add the doughy masa to the oil (NOT THE REVERSE), and mix the dough in so that the oil is consistent throughout. Using a mortar and pestle, grind the dried strawberries until they are powder, then add this powder to the masa, turning it pink.

Prepare the filling:
Slice one package of fresh strawberries into thin slices. Open a package of chocolate chips. Dig in the fridge to find half-used jars of jam and jelly- any flavor will do. All of it is delicious.

Prepare the "salsa":
Slice one package of fresh strawberries into a pot. Add 2 tablespoons of rose water, a little plain water, and another cup of sugar. Stirring occasionally, then later constantly, bring to a boil and reduce, reduce, reduce until it has a jam-like consistency. Set aside to cool.

Prepare the pot:
Use a steamer with a basket, or else turn a pie plate over and poke holes in the bottom to create a platform inside a regular pot. Make sure there is sufficient water at the bottom, but not so much that it will be touching the bottoms of the tamales.

NOW, make your tamales!
Make sure the corn husk is not too wet - pat dry with a towel is needed. Spread a tablespoon or more of masa on a corn husk, coating the inside. Then, lay several chocolate chips and some sliced strawberries inside. Feel free to get creative here, adding honey, jelly, jam, etc. Not too much! A teaspoon or so will do! Here is a great video about spreading the masa just right.

Then, roll the husk into a tight bundle and fold the bottom edge under to keep it closed. Stand tamales, open end up, in the pot and pack them in tightly. You will need to be able to cover the pot with a lid.

Cover the top of the pot with the lid, and layer one or two wet dish towels over that. Place pot on medium-high heat and bring water to a boil. Monitor closely- you may need to add a small amount of water after a while so the bottom of the pot doesn't burn. Tamales should steam for 45-min to 1 hour, depending on the size of the pot. When you lift the lid (don't do this too often) and see that the masa has fluffed up and is pulling away from the husk, then test to see if your tamales are done. They should have a bread-like consistency, neither goopy nor hard.

When you are ready to eat these tamales (AND YOU WILL WANT TO EAT SOME RIGHT AWAY OMG), unwrap them and spread a little bit of the strawberry-rose "salsa" on top of them.

Nomnomnom.