Words Are But Crutches to Paint Insipid Hues

Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sat, 26 Jul 2014 04:48:00 +0000

Joy is all that I want. Meaning and means vary but I guess everyone wants just that.

-Shashank

Decade of Friendship

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 08:19:00 +0000

I find it ironic that we talked about the future back then, and now reminisce about the past.

-Shashank

Plenty of pursuits

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 18:53:00 +0000

There's only little devotion that I can manage when pursuits are plenty.

-Shashank

Life and Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 18:47:00 +0000

It's good to live life in dreams, and dreams in life.

-Shashank

Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 08:19:00 +0000

Yesterday, I spoke to a friend about the demise of her dog. It triggered a chain of random memories of pain and joy. Here's a poem I wrote in 2004 for another friend who had lost her uncle.

If only words could ease the pain
speak, I would ,over and over again.
I empathize with you, but I know
how hollow are our sympathies.
Only the diseased can admire,
the mammoth grief of ailment.
Strange are the laws of life,
and stranger still are emotions.
We love people all the time,
more so when they are gone.
Now that he's gone, I call him a thief
for he has stolen a part of you forever.
You will learn to live without, I agree, yet
memories will chase you on a haunting spree
Bemused you shall feel to find,
remembrance of joys you had together
to add to the multitude of pain
Cry, my dear, as much as you can
for tears are farewell gifts to the gone.
I don't promise you, all I can, so that u forget him
I do that, so I can see you crying again
Tears gushing, 'cause you will remember
How good a person, he had been.

-Shashank

Dark Humo(u)r

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 20:38:00 +0000

Irony is the spice of life.
Sarcasm is the burping man's reply.

-Shashank

Mythology and History

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 15:17:00 +0000

The lines between mythology and history are blurry.
One man's mythology is another man's history.

-Shashank

Storybook Children

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 11:30:00 +0000

This song gives me goosebumps:

"You've got your world
And I've got mine
And it's a shame
Two grown up worlds
That will never be the same

Why can't we be
Like storybook children
Running through the rain
Hand in hand
Across the meadow
Why can't we be
Like storybook children
In a wonderland
Where nothing's planned for tomorrow

You've got his ring
You've got his heart
You've got his baby
And Billy it's too late

To turn away
And start all over again
Oh no, don't tell me it's too late baby

Why can't we be
Like storybook children
Running through the rain
Hand in hand
Across the meadow
Oh, why, one more time
Why can't we be
Like storybook children
In a wonderland
In a wonderland
Where nothing's planned for tomorrow

Ooh, how happy we would be
If only we
Were storybook children."

--Lyrics by Chip Taylor
I like this cover version by Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood: http://youtu.be/uRoX1MOiMm8

Musing

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 22:18:00 +0000

Guilt is a bad companion to take to bed every night.

-Shashank

The eternal gap between expectations and results

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 11:17:00 +0000

It's unfair to assume that life's fair.

-Shashank

This Must Be The Place

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 19:15:00 +0000

I can't describe how much I relate to naive melody from Talking Heads. Brilliant poetry using non sequiturs

"Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - born with a weak heart
(So I) guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing
.....
Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from the other
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I'll be . . . where I'll be
.....
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head
Ah ooh"

---David Byrne, Talking Heads
Video http://youtu.be/aMawfL1lE4k

The Burden of Proof

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 20:29:00 +0000

The quickest way of murdering love is to ask a lover to provide proof of his emotions.

-Shashank

Unfinished Poem on an Unfinished Cricketing Career

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 08:26:00 +0000

My Ode to the Wall

On countless overseas tours

The aptly, inapt sobriquet –"wall"

At one end, silently stood tall

Witnessing the maestros fall.

Gulping sighs and frustration

Ignoring the cantankerous call

From rivals, critics and ‘em all.

Rising to each occasion, big or small
Building every innings like a mason’s wall

Judging individual merit of each ball.

Earning each laurel, none a windfall

Picking gloves to answer the nation's call

Timely plugging the batsman’s shortfall.

His dedication, integrity, and humble hardball;

Revered by the cricketing legends, one and all

But considering the strength of character,

Dravid is among the tallest of them all.

--Shashank

We'd quite a time, didn't we?

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 06:03:00 +0000

Wrote a poem after many years. Strange that poems flow out of my pen only when I am melancholic.

We'd quite a time, betwixt
The charming smile, yours;
And poor sarcasm, mine.
The casual questions, yours;
And tedious answers, mine.

We'd quite a time, betwixt
The elegant dressing, yours;
And unpretentious gazes, mine.
The patient listening, yours;
And foolish gibberish, mine.

We'd quite a time, betwixt
The fast track promotions, yours;
And managerial brawls, mine.
The globe trotting vacations, yours;
And wilderness escapades, mine.

We'd quite a time, betwixt
The playful indifference, yours;
And gentle advances, mine.
Sharing cribs and whine,
Ah! the joys when we'd dine.

Hope to stay in touch, betwixt
The new chapter in life, yours;
And vagabond dreams, mine.

-- Shashank

A Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:35:00 +0000

"I dreamed death came the other night,
And heaven’s gate swung wide.
With kindly grace an elderly angel
Ushered me inside.
And there to my astonishment,
Stood folks I’d labeled
As unfit, of little worth.
Indignant words came to my lips,
But never, were set free.
For every face, showed stunned surprise,
Not one expected me."

– Jack Exum, “The Wisdom Box”

Which Ville do you live in?

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 07:35:00 +0000

An interesting conversation with an anonymous stranger:

Stranger: hello my little friend

You: hello

You: are u from giantville ?

Stranger: no

Stranger: what's that?

Stranger: olh

Stranger: my bad

Stranger: I was born there

You: lol

Stranger: but we moved to regularville

You: oh, not hunting in smallville?

Stranger: nah became too boring

Stranger: and I am a big person

Stranger: so I need tons of meat

You: ha ha

Stranger: regularville can offer me that

Stranger: I hope you don't live in regularville

You: and u still come to strangerville ?

Stranger: yeah from time to time

Stranger: just to tickle my tastebuds

You: i live in faroffville

Stranger: Oh i know that

Stranger: it's far away

You: exactly!

Stranger: someday I will come visit your village

Stranger: so be aware

You: welcome

Stranger: thanks

Stranger: for being so welcoming

You: instead thank you, for a great start to a conversation. I was getting so bored with ppl asking "m/f" and "asl"

Stranger: hahaha xD

Stranger: it was my pleasure

You: so what do u do for a living ?

Stranger: besides hunting?

Stranger: I am still in school

Stranger: how about you?

You: i work in a _____ firm

Stranger: oh cool

Stranger: how old are you if I may ask?

You: m young :p

Stranger: haha ok xD

You: so what do u study ?

Stranger: I'm going to study psychology if it works out

You: oo la la

You: i keep reading minds, never read the theory though

Stranger: haha cool

Stranger: so what kinda mind do I have according to you?

You: a creative one

You: u search joys in nonchalance of everyday life

Stranger: that is quite accurate

Stranger: you are a profiler

You: i dunno what's that

Stranger: do you know the show criminal minds?

You: no, am really in faroffville!

Stranger: Haha no cable tv in faroffville?

You: lol

You: there is, but different channels. different drama too :P

Stranger: haha ok xD

Stranger: but I have to go now

Stranger: It was nice talking to you

You: it was a great pleasure.

it hurts

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 21:22:00 +0000

It hurts. I knew it will hurt. I saw it coming. But I did not budge. Well, I am not a matador. I am not a masochist. I am not insane. But I can't help being optimistic, I can't help trying to make things happen. I can't help trying to make people smile around me. That I make a fool of myself, in the process, is irrelevant to me. Everytime I get into a relationship I am overjoyed. I dream a lot but I am not a day-dreamer. I try to put things into perspectives but the perspectives are dictated by my heart and not my head. I like being myself. I don't wish to bear the pain sometimes. Sometimes I know the sweet and the sour come together. I think too much. I sleep too less. Life is not easy without you Gudia, Life is not life without you....

The brightest chap !!

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 17:14:00 +0000

It's been a long time since I wrote. Rather, since I blogged. (remember I write for a living as well). What have I been doing all these days? I wish I knew the correct answer. I wish someone with a chirpy voice like the voice-over artist who tapes for the courses I design comes and tells me "That's correct. Click Next to Continue."

I wish there was a "next" button to scroll through life. But I would also like a "previous" button to go back and relive the fond memories. The complexities of this simple life amaze me !

It was late in the evening, an evening which followed a day which came and went by without registering much in my memory. And there were no signs of the evening becoming memorable either. The maddening traffic which seems to move one inch a time ( that might be an understatement but not an exaggeration) only aggravated my melancholy. Suddenly, my phone rang.......an unknown caller
had decided to wake me from reverie, That helps to break the Auto-Pilot mode of riding which I have gotten used to.

Caller: "arrrrrey Pandey ji, where are you?"
Pandey *#@%.............which pandey ji?

I have been receiving calls from people asking for everyone from plumber, to army recruitment secretary, to the laundry guy,...........the list is endless and the variety unmatched.

Me: "there's no pandey ji over here"

Caller: " arrrrey pandey ji, you didn't recognise me .....I am mishra, your panwallah"

So this call turned out to be from a shopkeeper who used to sell cigarettes to me and would never call me by my name......I have no idea how and when I become pandey ji...........but the name stuck.
But why would he call me? I had stopped going to his shop, the last time I went to his shop was four months ago and I had never been his regular customer. Somehow, with rattled nerves, I managed to say "Yes" when he asked me to come over to his shop. As expected, it turned out that he wanted some loan. Loan .,,,,,,,,,,okay I will dish the meagre amount I can manage..... But that wasn't all....................like all pan wallahs....... Mishra is big-mouthed and shrude. He will talk endlessly, he seems to have an opinion about everything under the sun. I was thinking on these lines, not really hearing what he was saying.....then it struck me
"Most of us have opinions about everything."

A few drags and endless blah blah blah.....annoying my ears........he too started his story of woes.........and I was fast running out of patience,.........then I saw someone tugging at my pants...........there was this young chap of hardly eight years, dressed in rags ..............
I don't like offering alms..........for I myself need alms of a different sort, which I can't ask from anyone at all.

But I was impressed with the refreshing smile on his face despite his hardships......he offered his hand for a handshake ........and to my sweet surprise Akshay (he told me his name while shaking hands) managed to do a few handshake tricks which seemed so funky !!
Akshay begs next to this small shop, all day........and I should say he earns his family of four 20 rupees a day, At an age where he should be playing with friends, the passersby play with him and his emotions.......with lewd remarks , endless thrashings and coin tossed arrogantly if it manages to come out of their Lewi's pockets at all.................Akshay impressed me, with the brightest eyes I have ever seen and a smile that won't leave his lips, no matter what comes.........he is sheer pleasure to talk to. Akshay was hungry and a dose of generosity won't have harmed me. So, I got him a cup of hot coffee.......it was a chilly night....and a omelette toast....He ate with delight but not the way the beggars are depicted eating in bollywood flicks........We talked for a few minutes before a man came up and spanked him hard on the back.......Okay, so this must be his father.......dressed in decent clothes with a obnoxious smell of hooch painted all over........he was spanking Akshay so that he parts with his day's earnings...So that was the end of it..........Akshay had to leave ........and the smile on his lips had turned into tears rolling down his cheeks......I came back home..........and that night I had a reason to think........I thought about Akshay. I thought about helping him somehow............but I know I can't do much........not because I don't want .......but because circumstances won't let anyone outside his family help him......

Thanks Akshay................... You made me a human again .............

I go everyday to that shop now................and I bear the garrulous Mishra.....because when Akshay comes with a smile on his lips................my spirits soar.....and I feel alive again.....

Thanks Akshay, you made my day, everyday in the last fortnight.

Optimism Displayed !

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 08:31:00 +0000

A colleague sent this awesome image. Optimists can never fail to find hope !!

Memories

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 07:29:00 +0000

I discovered this poem in my old dairy. I used to be a "romantic" poet, in school days !!

And i close my eyes & lo
it's gone ,the mist all around
I feel it for the upmteenth time
A beautiful thought, an image so profound
She's the journey , she's the goal
she's my heart ,she's my soul
Drink ,not sip ,i 'll from her bosom
Nectar of love, she's the rivulet divine
She needn't be a beauty queen
To creep into my heart ,to reign supreme
I meet her almost daily
Hitherto,she remains unseen
She' s a gushing stream
of love ,caring ,& other things pristine
She would stroll alonside,my walk of life
She would be my best friend ,my beloved ,my wife
The touch of her hand ,the twinkle in her eyes
Shall sustain me ,in all my fights
on sweaty days & chilly nights
The first kiss,till eternity it would last
While i forget ,the present & the past
when her body will melt into mine
She'll teach me what's lust sublime
In her lap ,I'll forget everything mine
She's my connection to the divine
For my entry ,heaven's door will be ajar
Distanced I 'll ,from low thoughts ,afar
The compassion ,gentle softness of her heart
Would make me a man ,the beast set apart
She would connect with everyone's pain
And I 'll fall in her love , all over again
I 'll fleet into her lap
the cradle of love ,holding her hand
Shielding my face ,tresses silky and long
Ideal setting ,it shall be for my swansong
With a clutch of arms , depth of her eyes
She'll say it all ,without a word said at all
What's sprung from heart , shall reach the heart
And even If all this's a dream , nobody can set us apart.

--Shashank

Will over the Wall

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 06:19:00 +0000

I have known this guy for some years now. I have seen this guy tide over the good, the bad and the ugly times. Mr. D, is a close acquaintance and a friend ;)

I met this guy through a common friend and I knew this association is destined for a long innings. Tragically, the next time I met him, he was devastated. His father had expired a few months back and her mom was on the death bed. Although, not very close, something made me go and stay at the hospital the whole night through. Not that, it could have helped him anyways, but for me I don't know exactly what but something made me stop. Well, her mom couldn't brave the cancer but his spirits did brave all those tumultuous moments. He was left with an elder brother, who think he is superhuman, and therefore a complete waste of intelligence; and a sister who didn't care much. The only sane person from his family, I met was the outsider, his brother–in–law.

Life goes on.... He found love next door...a brick wall, not thicker than 6", separated him from his girlfriend and the distance he had to cover to tide over that wall was enormous.

A dulcet voice greeted me this morning while I was still in bed, to tell me that the wall had finally been breached. He finally married the girl he loved, and amazingly her parents made a complete turnaround at the last moment, finally giving their kind consent. ( they would have married anyways ;) )

I am told, in my absence, there was a man stranger than me in the marriage ceremony........some German engineer, who wanted to watch an Indian wedding...........well, we are certainly known for our hospitality and I saw a pic of this German wearing a traditional Maharashtrian turban....

Did I hear something being said about Will over the Wall ?? ;)

Near You

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 07:39:00 +0000

I haven't ever seen you,
But I know you're really there;
I click you into reality
Like magic from the air.

Your voice is like an angel,
Though I really do not hear;
Your hug as warm as any
Of loved ones I hold dear.

You're always there for comfort,
Or a word of cheer;
Though you are very far away,
I always have you near.

You're a very special friend,
Like none I've ever known;
As long as you're in cyberspace
I'll never be alone.

~Anonymous~

I Have A Little Garden

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 07:24:00 +0000

I have a little garden
No flowers will you find.
Instead you'll see the friendships
That I have made online.

They grow from something other
Than normal flowers do.
They thrive on love and support
And understanding too.

This special little garden
No matter rain or shine.
Is always in bloom
This special place of mine.

It's filled with fun and laughter
Where happiness abounds.
This lovely garden echoes
Many joyful sound.

I would like for you to know
That you are planted here.
In my "Friendship Garden"

Our hearts are always near.

~Anonymous~

My reply to a blog-post

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 07:19:00 +0000

With changing times and changing realties, it's no wonder that the forms of expression change as well.

what is blasphemous today might be a ritual tomorrow.

Why try to make sense of everything?

Why not give in to sheer bliss of doing what pleases you?

We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.
--Anais Nin

The Day that was Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Delirious) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 05:37:00 +0000

I have enjoyed another Christmas !!

--Sarah McLachlan, Wintersong (From the eponymous album released in Oct,2006)

The jingle of bells and the contagious smiles on the faces of the children singing Carols at the church are pure bliss.

Christmas is fun !!

As in the recent past, I managed to make it to a Church, in time to attend some prayers ;),on the sunny Christmas morning. This year Christmas was different though.
For some years, I have been visiting Gudia on Christmas and the joy on her face is more than enough for a reason to enjoy the long, really long ride that I need to take to her city.

Somehow, things have not been all that pretty in Gudia’s life and so it has had its appalling effect on my life as well. My biker instincts were sure to get the better of my brains, and I was about to hop onto my bike.........on Christmas eve.....and vroom..........................but then she called.........

And all my hopes of walking with her, hand-in-hand to church went spiralling down to abyss. I tried sleeping, but sleep doesn't seem happy being my companion anymore............
I remembered that Shine, a stranger who became a treasured friend in 4 days and who has stayed in close conversation for many years, had gifted me a Cross he had cut out of some hand made paper. On the other side of the cross were the words, "Jesus Loves You Too".
And the ever present optimist in me, latched onto the ray of hope again. I thought of calling up Shine but then I recalled he had shifted to another town.

Thinking..............thinking and ..............thinking.......

....behold................. Its 8 a.m. and a sunny Christmas morning..........

Now, no use thinking anything.............I better rush to the nearest Church I know.............in Pune it can be a difficult task. I was hesitating a bit, because I had never been to this church before and unlike the congregation there I am not so good at reciting the Psalms, I don't agree with many of them, and I am not a Christian by faith or birth. But then it was Christmas........and I love Christmas and I love to hear the carols, and I love the joy of praying together in church.
The exchange of pleasantries, a few corny questions answered and then all the joys that only a
Christmas Mass can provide....

It was wonderful...............and then Mr. Ann, another close friend, who shares an understanding unmatched, invited me for dinner.

It was a great Christmas...............and it was fun.......... but I wonder how was the smile that danced on those pretty lips...........................................Alas! I had taken that long ride.

Christmas will never be the same again ...........................