nerdy rambles

Farewell

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 08:39:00 +0000

Paint Tool Sai and Photoshop, approximately 5+ hours?? I spent more time adjusting the colors and correcting mistakes. The result being a really simple drawing and severe backpain.

Yes.
I am in love with Aegnor and Andreth.
I wished more had been written about them.

Works in Progress

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 05 Jul 2015 14:29:00 +0000

The time I spent on this, I could've been hospitalized with severe backpain. And it's not even finished!

Is it me, or the paper?
Okay, the messy lineart is me, but the bleeding, I found out appeared only after scanning. It looks fine on paper.
*sigh*

So Many Things To Do, So Little Time

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 10:01:00 +0000

I think I have a previous post titled just like this, but I can't seem to remember.

So, I'm still in intense battle against procrastination. That two weeks holiday did some damage to my progress so that was a bummer. However, it did made me realize that my problem mainly lies in my surrounding; I am way more motivated to do things when there were less noise and distraction. Being at home, I am constantly turned off by the level of noises produced by television, the uncomfortable heat, and the electricity that died for every ten minutes. I planned for a lot of things during the holiday, and I failed to do 85% of those activities. Thus I spent most of my times gaming and watching drama, avoiding my art projects and whatnots.

However, now I'm at Tenom, I am more than motivated to do my art projects. In fact, I get so motivated by art, there was no time for me to game and watch movies anymore! No, not even during weekend. All I did was my school works and drawing, and every time I wanted to watch a movie, I'd be like "wait, there's two more hours before bed time, I should draw something!"

It's nice actually to be incredibly motivated because it helps me to see ahead of what I wanted for myself in the future. Besides, art kind of consoled me from all the stress I get at work. I hope one day I'll be able to make money from my art and pay off all my loans before I reach 40. Haaaaa... Wishful thinking.

Reigniting Passion in Digital Drawing

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 10 May 2015 03:19:00 +0000

Drawing on laptop, drawing on Ipad... Having a career and living away from beloved family, though tiring at times, have also offered a level of freedom I seldom have at home.

I'm the type of person who cannot draw/write/doanythingatall when someone was watching at my back. And back home, privacy is often disregarded and I cannot count how many times my heart jumped whenever my mom open the door to my room when I was deeply focused on my activities.

Yes, when I am truly focused at something, please don't walk up behind me or something... It makes my heart weak and I will feel giddy afterwards...

So, having my own room, I am free to do whatever I wanted without any disturbance. It's quiet here, just me and my music all the time, And I have a chance to rediscover my love for drawing; mainly digital drawing because of the flexibility it could offer me. And because traditional materials are hard to find here.

I have been drawing since then, juggling between work, social life and much needed rest. My life is turning out for a way more positive direction. I procrastinated less and doing more. And I'm done letting circumstances take me down.

Here's a showcase of what I've done these past three months. I hope to improve more.

Be Brave!

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Mon, 27 Apr 2015 10:03:00 +0000

I- I did it...

I hope I can stay disciplined in this.

The Hidden Boy

I'm just going to use Mischief through and through with this one. Two hours per day, update once a week, I hope it goes well. Heheh.

Battling Procrastination: Part 5 (Trial and Error Methods)

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 26 Apr 2015 12:47:00 +0000

I haven't done this post for weeks! But no worries, it's not because I procrastinated. Well, it's not because I procrastinated too much. I think I'm improving lots over these past few weeks. I drew/sketch a lot, I read book and graphic novels, and just tried to do as many things as I can.

It does get overwhelming, what's with works at school that just never seems to end... But I learn a few tricks to get things done. Although some of these things were fairly new and my tendencies to not follow them through sometimes gets in the way.

1. Write a To Do List

Yeah, yeah.. everyone said a to do list can help tremendously with getting the day going productively. However, if you have work like me where decisions and things constantly change, it would be hard to actually follow those to do lists. For instance, you might plan for a workout at 4 pm, shower at 5 pm, do lesson plans at 6 pm and so on, then suddenly something happened at school at the last minute and you had to stay way past evening. I felt discouraged because this happened almost everyday! Those to do lists felt incredibly useless. So my workaround this is that I decided to just embrace my flexible attitude and lets a few things slide without affecting my feelings. The stress is not worth it. The downside is that I lose lots of exercise time because I don't exercise pass 6 pm to avoid extra energy at night that would disturb my sleep time.

2. Get Motivations

The thing about motivation is that sometimes they're too abstract. I used to feel highly motivated in my younger days just from the satisfaction of finishing a job. Now, that satisfaction is just not enough. I don't know what happened to me! Motivational words do not work on me. Serves me right for having a heart of stone. So I decided to try new things like sharing whatever I'm doing on Instagram or on Blogger. You know, just sharing stuffs with others who have my line of works, who could relate to me, or into drawings. Whenever I see those stuffs online I felt tiny feelings of accomplishment. Like when I was writing the Bicara Berirama script in Bahasa Melayu despite having no passion for the language or talent for it, I took a picture of it and posted it on Instagram and actually thought I did the unimaginable. Mind you, I got a little help from my talented students, but still a large creative gist of the script was written by me, and it almost drive me crazy. Therefore, the mere thought of completing something I have no confidence in actually motivated me to do better in other things; like drawing!

3. Don't think too much

At the start of this battling mission, I used to think and imagine things like "I will sleep early tonight", "I will exercise this evening" or "I will wake up early in the morning". While picturing things can help you moving, overthinking it can make you lazier. It is what I think they called an illusion; that you think you will do it and you can do it but ended up not doing it because it didn't manifest itself much more than just an imagination. So, I decided to not things too way ahead. Opting instead to just do stuffs I know I want to do. It does help me be productive, but yes, there was an inclination for me to still imagining wild things I know I do not want to do. Being productive, for me, is more about doing things you really like and enjoy every bit of it. For example, forcing yourself to play a game when you do not want to at the moment take the fun out of it. And when that happened, you felt like it is a chore, thus you do not want to go through with it, resulting in not being productive.

Bonus: Try some fun rewarding Android apps

This one is a bonus because I haven't experience the long term effect. A few days ago I installed The Fabulous on my smartphone. It has this clean and nice to look at interface, with articles about good habits as well as interactive to do lists. I've been diligently following the habits I placed as routines, and every time I updated whatever habit I managed to finish it rewarded me with achievements and more fun articles to read. What can I say, I like to read stuffs.

Sneak Peek

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Thu, 16 Apr 2015 14:50:00 +0000

Tried to do some rough sketches before I finalize them back home, but ended up focusing too much on another LOTR fanart.

Still fawning over Aegnor and Andreth

Work Work Work

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:16:00 +0000

There comes a time in that year, where so many activities are being held at the same month and you have to juggle between teaching, training kids, marking students' books, writing lesson plans and office work. Yes, teachers have office works. We keep tons of useless files and are expected to update them monthly. Sometimes we're overwhelmed and couldn't finish them at a day, carrying these works to the next day where new paperwork awaits.

Couple this with emotional fatigue, having to explain your students why you have to leave them in the class to train the students who are outside (who are also asking why you're not with them when they're training because you have to attend to your classes), as well as stress of the mind added with heartache at the fact that your superiors aren't very supportive or decisive (complaining about your chores with the kids at the same time telling you to do these activities with the kids).

I don't hate being a teacher. I just hate the system.

Trying not to think too much, so a quick sketch before I go to sleep. Two more days and it's over. Gaah!

LOTR Fanart: Aegnor and Andreth

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sat, 11 Apr 2015 17:54:00 +0000

I usually do this post on my other blog, but I really wanted to share this one out to other fans though. So, I just thought one day about this elf-human romance in LOTR world and realized almost of 'em are between a male human and a female elf. I searched if there was any romance involving a human maiden and a male elf. And yeah, there was one; of Aegnor and Andreth. Like many others, their story was melancholic in nature (in my opinion), but unlike others they didn't get to be together since they were living in a difficult age. I don't know why I went looking for romance in LOTR, still...

I spent two hours on Mischief with my trusty tablet and just drew~

So, I started out with a rough sketch of how I though Aegnor and Andreth looked like according to their description in the book via Wikia (it's hard to find Tolkien's other books here apart from LOTR and The Hobbit).

I opted for black and white sketch instead of coloring, because I'm in love with the superb pencil on paper simulation in Mischief (seriously, the software is one of the best investment in my life).

I rearranged their positions and added a bit of flowery motif just for the sake of it. I'm really happy with how this turned out. And I've been thinking of ordering JRR Tolkien's other works from Bookurve (you know, the one Malaysian online bookstore that managed to deliver my copy of The Queen of the Damned after three months. I'm still traumatized with the horrible shipping method). But I will do it once I get my next wage.

Truthfully, I think Aegnor's and Andreth's romance would have been very interesting. There was a long analytical essay on why a male elf and mortal woman don't fall in love; elf values beauty too much to even look at a lesser, plain creature like human, while mortal woman may not like the idea that they would looked older and saggy compared to an elven lover over time. I cannot find the essay anymore since I forgot the title, but anyone who may have read it can provide me with the link.

This analysis is exactly why Aegnor's and Andreth's romance may be a memorable one (just like Twilight? lol, Comparing Twilight to LOTR? Blasphemy!) I would've loved to see it though, even if they don't get a happy ending.

Super Busy

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Fri, 10 Apr 2015 16:35:00 +0000

Between training my students choral speaking in BM, reading over students' homeworks and essays, planning lesson plans, and keeping up with craps around the school, life has never gotten any better. It is filled with purpose and I am content at the moment.

And I made my first DC fanart- of my favorite character Batwoman! Haha! This had been fun. I've always been paranoid with drawing fanart; partly because of the icky copyright and also because I'm afraid I would ruin the characters with my horrible skill. But I've learned to not be afraid. Heheh!

Still, this had been fun. I wish to do more.

Online Store?

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Fri, 03 Apr 2015 14:11:00 +0000

I joined Zazzle. If you're interested, you can check out http://www.zazzle.com/leonsart.

Occasional Fever and WIP

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 22 Mar 2015 12:52:00 +0000

I managed to get myself horribly sick just the second day of holiday, and I'd spent the entire time either sleeping or being very tired. The thing is, I seldom get fever, or flu, or any other sickness ever since I practiced keeping my palms clean all the time. It was a tip I got from reading a Reader's Digest article in which they said fever came mostly from outside infections and since our palms contained germs the most, it was logical one should always keep them clean. Sure, you can get fever from any other situations; a rapid change of temperature for example. Yeah, I'm one of those people who would get high fever from sitting under a heavily air conditioned room. It sucks since most places here are air conditioned because of the humid weather. However, I do seldom get sick because I take hands hygiene pretty seriously. I actually managed to get sick because I ate a cold ice cream during an incredibly hot day. Yeah, I should know better. It seemed my body was shocked by the extreme temperature change I got sick the day after.

I supposed I should be grateful because it was not a viral fever (this type of fever would actually render me hopeless 24/7). But I still became quite weak and unable to do much during holiday. Desperate to get well before holiday end, I took my pills diligently, and they made me sleepy all the time. Coupled with my tendency to save money right now, nothing fun or exciting happened. I guessed I shouldn't complain much about the situation; I mean, I was at home by my family's side. Even though they sometimes irritated me to no end. So, no drawings, no blogging, or anything. Instead, I spent my moment meekly watching television while drifting in and out of sleep, or just play game when I tried to not fall into slumber.

I think my achievements during holiday came down to this;

1. finally beat Final Fantasy VII after Safer Sephiroth pwned me eleven times (took me ten frickin' hours!)

I put this epic fight on pause because after 3 hours of fighting the initial three bosses, I needed to pee, this scene unpaused itself and by the time I got back the cutscene was playing halfway to the end. Damn it!

2. watched X-Men: Days of Future Past and Amazing Spiderman 2

Everyone knew what would've happened, but I still wished they didn't follow the comic and let Gwen live! Damn it!

Yep. That's about it. Pretty sorry sight you must think of me. Well, yeah. Can't do much though, I can't get sick when I get back to school. Those sorry little bastards need some ear pulling soon.

A WIP. I tried out Paint tool SAI again, and it is still the one I'm good with the most. Might buy it next time.

35 Sai no Koukousei: The 35 years old High Schooler (Jdrama)

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 08 Mar 2015 11:58:00 +0000

35 Sai no Koukousei (35 years old high schooler) is a Jdrama about a mysterious 35 years old woman named Baba Ayako who entered a high school as a student. During her schooling, she dealt with many problems like bullying, attempted suicide, and such, gained friends along the way and even managed to deal with her own dark past.

I'm not an avid Jdrama viewer (or any other dramas), so it was a surprise even for myself that I actually finished this drama yesterday. Then again, this drama only ran for eleven episodes so it was not that hard to finish. This drama was centered on a middle aged woman who went to a high school filled with teenagers angst and delinquency. It was kinda hard for me to get around the fact that she could actually befriended these angsty teenagers despite being way mature for any of their craps. If it were me, I would slapped them around and tell them life's suck, deal with it. Lol. Yes, I've been told I am cold and unfeeling at some point in my life.

This drama is the same with any other dramas; over-dramatic and ridiculous. However, it was very entertaining and it even managed to get me spill some tears. Some of the issues here like bullying, isolation and depression touched me deeply. It may be because I used to be isolated during high school, and had dealt with mild depression. Being a teacher right now, seeing and dealing with bullies among my students as best as I can, the incidents in the drama just rang true with my heart. Furthermore, this drama also dealt with stress among teachers, something not always talked about in tv. You always see this vision of super teachers and people expect us to act like we are going to sacrifice our own blood for our students, but they were never made to understand the amount of stress teachers had to deal with students, parents and educational policies.

I admired the way Japanese teachers take their students as very precious, and did everything for the sake of their students even when their efforts were never appreciated. Although it was sad that this drama played up the ridiculousness by making all adults except Baba to be very incompetent, because despite how I loved my students, I would never let them play me around like that. No students of mine are going to humiliate me or tell lies about me without consequences; I loved my students but I am not going to excuse their terrible behaviors. Heheh. I saw a Korean movie once where the teacher hit and kick students, and I just want to say that is not the way to deal with kids as well. Violence is no way to deal with things, nor does being a complete passive when students demean you but I digress.

The message of friendship here is prevalence as with any other Jdrama I've ever watched. It was heartwarming as well as goofy. All the actors did amazing jobs, and the comedy balanced out the angst. That was why this drama managed to capture my attention. It may be ridiculous, but it delivered its message well, and the drama was effective. I would recommend this to those who liked watching comedy and teen angst.

Problems?

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 13:41:00 +0000

Sometimes, your week just does not go smoothly. I decided not to get negative about it and just Thank God for every second of it.

Trying out watercolor simulation on Art Rage 3. Looks pretty nice. Heh. Still struggling with the last work since I'm in the process of getting to know Mischief. So many to learn! So exciting.

Work In Progress: Wrong Skin Tone

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Tue, 03 Mar 2015 11:18:00 +0000

I didn't envisioned her to have dark skin, but then I thought it suited her role as stability and peace. So I'd let it be. Gah, so tired.

WIP: Blurry Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 01 Mar 2015 13:36:00 +0000

Like the title said, my mind was definitely blurried when I was drawing this.

I pictured an entirely different picture at first, then I started drawing and another image came into my mind. I don't know what she should be holding in her hand there. Soil maybe?

The idea is to have two forces of nature at balance with one another; the lady is peace and fertility while the man is power and chaos.

I don't know. I might remake this in the future. This one was done in Mischief Free, so there was a lot of constraints because the free version was more for doodles and hashing out ideas. I bought the full version just now, because I really like Mischief. It reminded me fondly of Paint Tool Sai, but the thing about Mischief is that being a vector based program, the infinite zoom feature is very helpful. And also, Mischief felt a lot more natural; it felt like I was really drawing on a paper. So I hope I can complete this drawing tomorrow. Hopefully, after I finished certain school works.

Brothers: I Cried Like a Baby

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 01 Mar 2015 04:57:00 +0000

This game is gorgeous

Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons is a unique game, and certainly one of the most beautiful I've ever played. The game tells the story of two brothers who goes on a journey to find a cure for their dying father. Along their journey, they encountered many people and strange creatures, all the while trying to come to term with the recent death of their mother.

The thing that was so intelligent about the gameplay was that you had to control the two brothers at the same time. Big brother moved with left joystick while young brother with the other one. It was hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, the gameplay was very rewarding.

I didn't manage to take any screenshots for the gameplay because obviously both my hands couldn't leave the joystick, but all the obstacles in the game required you to have good concentration on the brothers. Some of the obstacles you can get through by timing the brothers' movements carefully while other parts you would get help from the creatures in the game such as the troll in the picture above.

Another thing I loved about the game was the scenery. I mean, seriously, it was scenery porn after scenery porn. Everything was crafted so beautifully. I wished I could have taken more pictures to share but I think it would be better if you go buy this game and discover it all yourself.

Despite not speaking a shred of English (the characters were speaking in some sort of Simlish language), the story and emotion had powerful delivery. Mixed that up with serene spiritual music and you'd have an unforgettable experience. The ending especially had me teared up for a good few hours.

I played this one sitting though, approximately three hours. However, this game worth every penny spent. I did not regret playing this game. You should buy it on Steam as well, now.

A Little Bit of Push

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:42:00 +0000

101 Projects for Artists and Illustrators by Dani Jones

Can I do this? Can I really do this? *excited*

I need some spark in my life, that tingly good feeling when you've done something solely for yourself. This is going to be fun.

Thank you miss Jones for the list.

Have a bit of nature, green is good for the soul~

Battling Procrastination: Part 4

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 11:29:00 +0000

Well, this post missed the schedule that was supposed to be on Sunday.

Holiday had been good; I played a lot of games and finally FFVII was on discount last week. I bought it and had been loving every minute of it. I even watched a lot of films with my beloved daddy, learned to cook something other than eggs, and did a marathon on Legend of Korra which was overdue since last year.

Returning to Tenom after a fun-filled holiday actually brought some of my bad habits back. For instance, I fell on a long afternoon naps for two days in a row and wasted precious time! Luckily those naps didn't interfered with my sleep, and I woke up well-rested every morning. So, more works on getting rid of those bad habits.

With February coming to an end, time was also getting hectic. We are going to have our school test this March, so there are a lot of works to be done within this two weeks. I need to prepare tests paper, update files, update students' performance online.... the usual useless stuffs. After test is over, our school holiday will be filled with marking papers and crying tears of blood at students' "overly creative" essays.

Oh, I may missed blogging on Sunday, now an exercise of routine, but that was because I'm focusing on another blog which was private. I'm doing a sort of self-assignment blog, and it is going to run for the entire year before I'm going to share it in public. I've also decided to delete my DeviantArt account in favor of starting afresh.

I may be busy in life, and I may get busier after I start my Master, but I really want to live a life where I am fulfilled in my private life, my career as well as my passion. It has always been my wish to create something wonderful since I was little, and I loved writing and drawing, so I think I'd really like to make a comic. This year will be spent on getting my life back on track and saying goodbye to procrastination once and for all.

Battling Procrastination: Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 11:04:00 +0000

I missed blogging on Sunday, HA!

However, I'm on a good path of defeating procrastination. The entire week is spent with plenty of activities; reading, drawing, studying and making lesson plans as well as learning aids for classes. I'm quite happy with myself. Though I spent this evening sleeping a lot (I was tired and excited for holidays), I did spent a good portion of evening hours reading graphic novels.

I really hope to improve my discipline in the future; next quest is to try and be consistent in my exercise. I tried to exercise consistently, but there were still days where I would skip, so yeah, bad habit in the book.

Oh, I started up writing again. I hoped this time I'll focus on it better.

Battling Procrastination: Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 11:51:00 +0000

This week had been good. I managed to defeat my urge to have evening naps, practice drawing and be overall productive with my lessons for classroom. There was not a single day that I thought I had been disappointed because my time was just filled with activities. I hope I can keep up this into the future. Besides, I planned to take my Master this year, so discipline is important.

Until next time.

Oh, and a wonderful game titled Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons. You should get it on Steam now.

Tribute to Full Metal Bitch

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 18:18:00 +0000

Damn, this painting took me hours! Just the lips took hours! I don't think she looks anything like Emily Blunt though... Oh well.. More practice then.

When Edge of Tomorrow came out, I refused to go see it because- Tom Cruise. Still uncomfortable with that guy. But then I saw Emily Blunt as Rita Vatraski and she was so cool, so I ended up downloading and watching the entire movie, replaying Rita's scene over and over. She was just so badass I just had to draw her, despite having zero experience in drawing metal suits. There's always a beginning...

Digital Painting Practice

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 07:35:00 +0000

After getting Wacom Intuos small, I started to practice how to draw, again. Hectic schedule just made me overwhelmed and I had forgotten to practice my skills for very long time. And Art Rage is a new thing for me, so excuse the amateur vibe here. I've never draw with oil color in real life so the theory and everything is foreign to me. Thus the terrible hair here. Sorry Tauriel... And the lips, I don't know how to do lips with oil paint... Another apology. And the eyes, the nose... so, so sorry. Watching youtube oil painting videos helped a bit, but it needed more works.

I'll try to practice with painting despite the busy life I currently have. And this had been a very good exercise for my brain and soul.

Cheerios.

Obscure & Obscure: The Aftermath

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 16:45:00 +0000

Nothing like old school game

This is one of those games I'd been wanting to play since forever, but was not fortunate because my brother could only afford modded Playstation 2 in those old days and this game was unplayable. There may be lots of better survival horror games nowadays, but nothing beats like an old school horror games.

Obscure tells the story of a group of high school students who found out that their school was infested with monsters by nightfall, and that some of the teachers might had instigated the whole ordeal. Fighting their way through monstrosity and fun environment puzzles, they set to defeat the heart of evil and find a cure for the creature infection that now run in their veins too.

De ja vu, guys...

Everything about the game was so nostalgic; the horrible camera works, cheesy voice-acting, jumpscares, panty showing for fan service and the extremely fun puzzles. I love every bit of it. Even the stilted character movement was endearing. So I spent the entire week playing both games with all my lights turned off and the volume turned up, savoring every nasty things and enjoying the hell out of it.

What the Fu-

Truthfully, the monsters were not really scary, just gross. Beating them was a lot fun though. Soundtrack was great, and gameplay was satisfying. I admittedly had to refer to walkthrough once in a while because I got stuck at certain point during the first game, completely confused at what I should be doing, but overall, the puzzles were quite easy.

I loved the battle mechanic more in the second game, because ammo was very limited and monsters were a lot more aggressive. I still couldn't believed that Kenny was going to be a villain in the end, but still, it add up to the cheesiness.

Obscure: The Aftermath even have QTE moments

I really hoped I can play more old school games, but some of them are still quite expensive on Steam, and I'm a bit hesitant to buy them in such a price. Still, Obscure was worth it.

Battling Procrastination: Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Amarantha) — Sun, 01 Feb 2015 01:56:00 +0000

I have a problem with procrastination. You can say I'm dealing with a chronic one. Now, I am in an ongoing battle against it and I am keeping a record of it to encourage myself.

It was not always like this, I remember being a lot more organized and diligent while I was younger. Perhaps the change in environment affected me but I know if I want to defeat procrastination, I must blame no one but myself, and change nothing but myself.

So, the first step I did in this battle is to permanently delete my Facebook account. I spent waaaay too much time on Facebook doing nothing, reading articles and whatnots. It was unbecoming. Though I don't think deleting it is a big step, but it was a good first step.

The second step I'm taking is making a list of to-do everyday, just to get myself productive. Most of the time though, I'm overwhelmed with school works and duties, so I get discouraged whenever I get home. It's not that my body was too tired, but my mind felt numb every time school is out. I couldn't read, couldn't blog, couldn't do anything because of it. So, being optimistic is part of the second step. I performed poorly on my lists to do for this week, but I'm not going to give up. It is true what people said that old habit die hard, in my case, it's a bad habit and I intend to throw it away once and for all.

So, it's going to be a while before I'll move to the third step. At least I'm blogging today according to my schedule, so it's a start. Yes, blog every Sunday is a good start.

Oh, and I'm learning how to draw again. Yay! My dad said it was a pity I let life gets in the way of my passion, and that I should always pursue it even when I'm working my ass off as a teacher. So here I am, trying to make things right. 2015 was supposedly a bad year for me, but it actually start off pretty well and pleasant. Negativity begone, I shall take my father's word to heart and make this year a good one.