Words from Willow

Book Review: Worth Dying For by Lee Child (Jack Reacher Series)

2012-02-18T05:06:00.000-08:00

Worth Dying For (2010) by Lee Child, is the 15th of 16 in the Jack Reacher series.

Jack Reacher is an ex military intelligence cop type dude. He's a loner with no family and no place that he calls home. He's a drifter. Yet it seems every town he drifts to has a major crime to solve. Crimes that need his special skill set.

In this installation, without giving any of the intrigue away, Jack Reacher stops in an isolated town to find that everyone is afraid of, beholding too, and controlled by one family. The family is trafficking something and they don't want anyone to know about it. Jack just happens to end up here, right? He doesn't scare off easily, and he doesn't like bullies. Of COURSE he can solve this, doesn't he always?

I love the Jack Reacher series. Something about a generally easy going guy who stands up for others and never seems to get outwitted. Sure he takes a beating, but he always lands on his feet. If Lee Child ever kills of Jack Reacher, that will be a sad day indeed. This is crime/mystery fiction and I dig this genre...when it's good. Lee Child is good.

Jack Reacher is described as 6 foot 5, 220-250 lbs, hands like baseball mitts and fists like footballs with long arms and dirty blonde hair. He's retired. So imagine my surprise when I read that they are going to make some of these books into movies, and who are they going to use for Jack Reacher's character? Tom Cruise. Um...WHAT?? That doesn't work at all. Plus, everyone will be thinking of him as the Mission Impossible guy. Tom Cruise, if online sources are to be believed, is 5'7" and 160 lbs. Tom Cruise is smaller than I am. I'm sure they can find a better candidate, can't they? Have you read any of the Jack Reacher novels? Who would you cast to play him on the "silver screen"? Hmmm, how 'bout Liam Neeson?

I give this read a thumbs up. The only drawback? There is NO WAY that you can end a book with that much mayhem and have it turn out OK. Like all the bad guys down, town practically burned to the ground, but they figure when the police come the 50-60 miles from the closest town with cops, they'll just say "well good job townspeople for taking care of the bad guys." Um, I don't think so. Lee Child could have tidied that up a little more.

The newest in the series came out in September. I haven't read it yet. It's called, The Affair.

Movie Review: Toy Story 3

2012-02-17T04:08:00.000-08:00

Toy Story 3 is the third (duh), and probably final in the Toy Story saga.

In this installation, Andy, (boy owner of the toys) is 18 and just days away from heading off to college. His mom wants him to clean his room before he goes and decide what goes with him, what goes to the attic for storage, and what goes in the trash.

Through a series of unfortunate events, the toys are put out with the trash, end up donated to a daycare center with some shady characters, and endeavor to find their way to a new life.

Toy Story was phenomenally successful and popular. The animation is spellbinding, and it has some heavy Hollywood hitters for the voices. Everyone kept telling me that Toy Story 3 might just be the best. I was told it was super sad, very touching and a do not miss.

I enjoyed the Toy Story series, but the didn't really move me all that much. Cute, amusing, quaint, fun yet, for me, forgettable. The third movie hit me the same as all the others. I'm not sorry I watched them (glad I rented instead of paying movie theater prices). I no longer have any youngsters in my home, so other than the first one, it was just me and hubby to enjoy the other two. I liked it, but it won't stick out as one I would highly recommend to anyone. UNLESS, you LOVED LOVED LOVED the first two, then you will likely LOVE this last one. Different strokes for different folks. I give it an amusing OK.

Psychic Letter: Fire

2012-02-16T04:20:00.000-08:00

I'm continuing to go through old documents on the computer. Printing some, ditching some, sharing some. About a year ago, I shared in a blog post, an experience of getting psychic information about a coffee shop that might have an electrical or wiring problem. Review that post to refresh your memory.

I have never been to, nor even seen this coffee shop. I have no idea if my vision was accurate, or if the owners did any checking on their wiring after receiving my letter. I found a copy of that letter. I wrote it in January of 2005. As far as I know, the business is still standing...so either my vision was totally off base, they corrected the issue, or the issue is yet to arise as a problem. Timing of events from the ethereal to the physical can be a bit tricky.

January 6, 2005

Mad Matilda’s Coffee House
Attn:

Dear Mr. & Mrs. ____:

This will probably be one of the weirdest letters you will ever read. I’m psychic…sort of. More of a fledgling and semi-willing psychic that occasionally gets bits of information. If you’ve never watched Medium or Ghost Whisperer on TV, that might be a good place to start for a general idea (although it is highly dramatized and I’m nowhere near that precise). My gifts are new to me and far from foolproof. Sometimes I don’t understand the meaning of the messages I get, but I try the best I can to share what I feel I am being led to share. I’m writing anonymously since I still feel weird and unsure of myself. I have no ill intent, and no ulterior motive for writing. The messages I get are only to help.

Last night, or early this morning, all the power went out in my house and a headache that I get sometimes when there is paranormal or electromagnetic energy around me was present. For about a week or more, the name “Matilda” has been in my head. I don’t know anybody named Matilda, nor do I know anybody who knows anybody named Matilda. I thought it was just one of those things that happens when you get a song in your head for no apparent reason. In fact, the song that Harry Bellefonte used to sing called Matilda was also in my head.

Then, in the night, I was receiving not only the name “Matilda” but “Baker City”. Then “Mad Matilda”…and I’m thinking “a crazy woman named Matilda??” Then I remembered seeing an ad in the paper for a store in Baker City by that name. Then I got “fire” and later “WARN THEM” (in the dream it also included the words “someone will die” but I chose to leave this out of the letter). It just sort of kept repeating and recirculating in my mind.

I have no idea what that means really except felt that I would carry too much guilt if something happened and my silly vision actually had meant something. I’ve never been to your store, nor do I live in your town. I don’t know if the building your store is in is old and has old wiring that needs to be checked, or if you could benefit from an electrical or fire inspection or what it means. Maybe you will know that. All I can do is pass on the limited message and hope you will know what to do with it. I suppose it is also possible that in your building there dwells a spirit that was making contact…or maybe you have a departed loved one that was trying to make contact. The info I get is rarely complete and often makes sense to somebody else but not me. It just feels to me that perhaps there is something with your electrical system that needs to be checked.

Blessings to you both.

I was really afraid to send the letter. I think I even put gloves on to write and mail it. I was afraid that if there ever WAS a fire in their building, that they would assume I was an arsonist, rather than psychic because to some people, especially law enforcement, being an arsonist is way more plausible than being psychic. It has taken me a lot of years to share this information too, for that very reason. To be honest, sharing these stories makes me feel really vulnerable and a bit silly. I can't explain the visions, nor can I explain how some of them are correct and some of them are totally wrong. I have no idea.

Book Review: The Orchard by Jeffrey Stepakoff

2012-02-15T05:04:00.000-08:00

The Orchard, by Jeffrey Stepakoff (2011), is a romance novel about a career driven woman who is an expert in the field of the development of scents and flavors who falls in love with the understated, widowed owner of an apple orchard.

While the book would have to fall under my heading of the average fun beach read...utterly forgettable, but still entertaining while it lasts, I enjoyed the insight into the field of the development of scents and flavors in laboratory settings. I also enjoyed the insight into a commercial, organic apple orchard. Add to that, the romance and a twinge of supernatural kismet, and the book was engaging enough. The story was sweet, and not a hot, sex-filled romp. That's refreshing sometimes.

I don't know that I would seek out more books by this author, but if, as in the case of this one, someone lends it to me, I wouldn't hesitate to read another.

Movie Review: Beastly

2012-02-14T04:35:00.000-08:00

Beastly, starring Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens, Mary-Kate Olson, and Neil Patrick Harris is a Snow White meets The Frog Prince combo sort of story.

Kyle is a gorgeous HS hunk. He's also a totally superficial jerk who treats everyone badly. We find he comes by this attitude towards life via some "nurture" issues at home.

Lindy, also a HS student, is not one to pay much attention to what's in or out. She's a bit deeper. She's also got a few issues on the home front.

Kyle has finally gotten on the last nerve of the school witch, Kendra. She casts a spell on him. He is changed from beautiful to deformed and ugly. He is given one year to find someone to love him as he is or he will be forced to remain disfigured for the rest of his life.

Despite this being, at least on the surface, a typical teen angst flick with pretty, popular actors in it, I found the storyline and script to be deeper than I anticipated. I enjoyed it. You can't go too wrong with a positive message about "substance over style". We rented it from Netflix. It is rated PG-13 for some crude comments, drug references and brief violence. Those are very mild in my opinion. I still don't think it's a great flick for little kids because they would just not be interested. It might work for perhaps 10 and up? I would guess girls would be more interested in it than boys. Heck, I know people that would prefer to look as Kyle looked during his bewitchment :-)

Children's Book Review: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

2012-02-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

Another of our fam faves from when my son was a "lad", Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst is the story of a grumpy boy, who finds himself in trouble a lot.

I think we liked this book so much because we could relate to it. My son, who as you know, was born with mental illness, has one of the most negative moods you can imagine...and he found (and continues to find) trouble. I think he liked that there was another boy out there who was crabby and got into trouble. It let us laugh at what could otherwise be seen as tragic. Plus, no matter what his disability is, he liked knowing that even "normal" people, have bad days and get into trouble from time to time. Nobody's perfect. This is an endearing little book, with fun illustrations by Ray Cruz. It was first published in 1972, but it continues to please generation after generation of parents and kids alike.

From Page 1:

"I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

That last line is repeated throughout the book and every time I've read to any child, it becomes a game to pause after saying "...it was a...." and they love to try to finish the sentence (usually all out of sequence). Every kid can relate to feeling crabby, being naughty, and feeling like life is just unfair. Adults can too.

Here's a video of a kid reading it quietly and quickly in a bookstore.

Recipe: Vegan, Raw Cashew "Burgers"

2012-02-12T05:00:00.000-08:00

I follow Delicious TV and Vegan Mash Up on Facebook. Recently, they posted a video of this "burger" and it looked interesting, so I tried it.

Don't think of this like a burger. That's a big of a misnomer. It is burger or patty shaped. That's where the similarity ends. If you don't go into it thinking you're recreating a hamburger, you won't be disappointed. Think of it as a cold veggie patty to make a little sandwich out of.

First of all, it is SUPER easy to make...and I have to love it for that alone. Second, it keeps well. This recipe makes about 6 patties (OK, I made 5...and next time I might just make it four) and I'm the only one eating them, so it's important that they will hold up in the fridge a few days. Also, I'm not a huge bread fan/eater, so I was intrigued by the idea of building my sandwich using sturdy chard as the "bun". You can add pretty much anything you want to it. The recipe shows tomato, onion and avocado. I tried it with tomato, and then this morning I ate one for breakfast with a dollop of sour cream (I ran out of tomato).

This would be an easy take along snack or meal...just pop it in a baggie or container and go. The more raw foods you can include in your diet, the better. Raw foods have the living enzymes still intact that heating/cooking destroys.

The downside? While it may only have a very few ingredients, those ingredients are expensive. Sun dried tomatoes aren't exactly cheap. I bought a small package, containing enough for scantly two recipes for $5.29. Raw cashews, IN BULK, were pushing $14 a pound!!! Using a cup and a half per recipe, that's about $10 just for the nuts. It's sad when eating healthy cost so much...truly something is not right. So with any other added toppings and your chard, you are facing at LEAST $15 to make this little recipe. That makes me want to cry. But DANG...I'm hooked. They are good!

Vegan Raw Cashew Burgers (Holiday Cashew Burger)

1 and 1/2 cups raw cashews (NOT soaked)

9 sun dried tomatoes (soaked 1-2 hours, squeeze out excess water)

hand full of cilantro leaves (or herbs of choice)

a generous pinch of sea salt

Place all ingredients in food processor and pulse until it forms a dough (see video for visual to follow)
Form into 6 patties (or 4 if you're me)

Use washed, torn chard leaves for your bun (I stack up several), and top with whatever you want...avocado, onions, tomato...whatever floats your boat.

Elizabeth's voice is a little whiny and sing-songy, but I overlooked that and got to the heart of the presentation.

Book Review: Damned by Chuck Palahniuk

2012-02-11T04:49:00.000-08:00

One of my readers/gal-pals suggested this book as a must read. I'm really glad she did.

Damned, by Chuck Palahniuk (2011) is a quirky, multifaceted work of fiction. It is intelligent, sophisticated, macabre and humor-filled. I know, right? Doesn't seem like that would go together, but it does. Not at all scary, but definitely twisted, dark humor.

Chuck Palahniuk has written around 11 books, one of them being Fight Club that made it to the big screen and became a cult classic. I was not a fan of that movie...not one little bit. I'm sort of glad when I read this, I hadn't yet made the connection or I would have missed some fun. How oh how, did Chuck Palahniuk channel a 13 year old girl and get so fully into this character. It's brilliant.

It is the story of Madison, a 13 year old girl who narrates this first person account of discovering she's dead and in Hell. It is the story of her life as well as her death, and her transformation, reflection and mastery of the underworld.

The book is chocked full of social and ecological and even spiritual commentary, irony and in-your-face contradictions about what we all think we know about the road to Heaven or Hell. I could read this book several times and still miss some of it. It is also rich in complex vocabulary and Madison makes sidebar comments in each chapter about how she knows these words.

Madison appears to adjust to life in Hell much easier than many who she encounters. As she compares what her life on earth felt like to her, Hell doesn't seem so bad. She gets a job as a telemarketer. Didn't we all pretty much guess they all life in Hell?

Some of the inside jokes may be lost on a few younger readers. There are at least three references that I counted to author Judy Blume who wrote (among other things) a teenage Christian angst book called Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. This book was about a 6th grade girl who was growing up without a strong sense of religion. She had ongoing conversations with God on many topics in a somewhat diary form. There is a strong yet opposing parallel between the two books. I had this book when I was in Jr. High, so I saw the understated relationship, right away. Each chapter begins with a short one-sided conversation with Satan. "Are you there Satan? It's me, Madison..."

I noticed another potential parallel or harken back to another young adult book series: The Confessions of Georgia Nicholson by Louise Rennison. The cleaver, humorous speech patterns, and names she gives to things and people. Present is a sophistication and somewhat superior air that is the shared defense mechanism of highly intelligent, but unpopular and insecure Georgia AND Madison. I don't think this was accidental and will be an insider joke that only some readers will recognize.

There are several references to and similarities with The Breakfast Club. Five misfit teens ban together in Hell to figure out the system, support each other and have each others backs. The roles of these five teens roughly match those in The Breakfast Club: The beauty queen (Babette), the misfit brainy girl (Madison), the jock (Patterson), the nerd (Leonard), and the biker punk dude (Archer). How Palahniuk ever managed to conceive of and merge so many literary icons and weave them together into something totally new and different is a wonder.

In Hell, the currency is candy. Good candy. It's pretty funny because somehow, Chuck manages to name all of what I consider to be "bad" candy...or the stuff you eat last from your Halloween treats. This "bad" candy litters the "streets" of Hell. The residents of Hell are permitted to go trick or treating on earth every year from dusk to midnight. If they are not back by curfew, they have to stay on earth for a year being ignored and unseen. This is one way they gather the currency of the "good candy", and litter the streets of Hell with the "bad candy".

In Hell, Madison encounters (among other places):

Hillocks of Toenail and Fingernail Clippings
the Great Ocean of Wasted Sperm,
the River of Steaming Hot Vomit,
the Desert of Broken Glass,
the Valley of Used Diapers,
the Thicket of Amputated Limbs
the Great Plains of Discarded Razor Blades
Steaming Dog Pile Mountains
Swamp of Rancid Persperation
Shit Lake
Swamp of Partial Birth Abortions
Dandruff Desert
Lake of Tepid Bile
The Rolling Hills of Semi-Coagulated Mucus

When Madison was alive, she was not popular. She considered herself to be flat chested, unattractive and overweight...with glasses. Being smart didn't seem to be a plus in her boarding school and she was often the but of brutish bullying. There are more creative ways to refer to these girls than you can shake a stick at. Here are a few that I caught for your enjoyment:

Miss Whorey Von Whorski
Trollopy McTrollops
Slutty Vandersluts
Harley O'Harlots
Miss Tarty Tartnicks
Miss Slutty O'Slutskis
Whorey VanderWhore
Skanky Von Skankenberg
Miss Vixey Vandervixen
Miss Whorey Whoreberg
Miss Trampy VanderTramp
Miss Bimbo Von Bombos
Hussy Vanderhussey
Douchey MacDouche Bag
Miss Twatty Twatlander

I think of this more as a work of adult fiction, but I can see it would have GREAT appeal for young adult and barely teen readers. Parents would need to use their own discretion based on their individual child. There is one short chapter in particular where Madison uses her knowledge of anatomy and strategy to undertake the manual and oral stimulation and climax of a female demon to get her to not eat them all, and to take them where they want to go. It is fairly descriptive. She is described as having a clitoris the size of a "Virginia ham". Humorous, but I can understand why some parents would find that objectionable for their kids, and I can also understand how it would have been the draw of the century when I was that age to read such a thing. I bring it up so you know what you're getting into. More conservative or religious parents will have many objections to the subject matter. It's edgy. I'm not clear who the intended audience is but it will have broad range appeal. If it were a movie (which would be FASCINATING), it would have to be an R rating to do it any justice.

I'll leave you with a stunning quote that jumped out at me:

"In Hell, it's our attachments to a fixed identity that tortures us." (p. 179)

Recipe: Yummy Black Bean Burgers

2012-02-10T04:57:00.000-08:00

I got the recipe for these black bean burgers from Shiny Cooking website/blog. So to honor that website and it's wonderful recipes, I'll have you use the link to go to the recipe to show them some love and help increase their readership too.

What I'll do here is tell you how it worked out for me, what I thought of them, and what I did wrong that I will need to watch for next time.

What I did wrong:

I ignored their advice for squeezing out and blotting all of the moisture out of everything, so my mix was wetter than it needed to be.
I used an entire onion rather than a half onion...I don't like saving onions. So this will make my mix even wetter.
I over processed the mixture so it ended up with the consistency of refried beans. Next time I will take more care because it will be better slightly chunky.
I added twice the amount of bread crumbs to make up for the extra fluid...that left it a bit pasty. I think for the success of the burger, texture is king and the texture of mine was more like a lowly pawn.
Given that mine were too wet to start with, I should have cooked them slower and longer to dry them out a bit. They sort of squeezed/plopped out of my bun when I tried to eat it. Sort of felt a bit like raw burger might feel in your mouth (not that I know...not that I've ever undercooked meat...OK, so I have).

Flavor and how I liked them:

They have a south of the border flavor due to the cumin and chili powder and the salt content is nice and low. The flavor was quite nice. I need to work on moisture content and texture. I have this problem when trying to make veggie "meat" loaf too. It's usually ploppy and too wet.

These (if done correctly) would be good in a bun, or eaten alone. I topped mine with tomato, chard, mustard and ketchup. Sour cream would be nice...or some taco sauce...or instead of a bun, put it between chard leaves.

I made 5 large burgers from this batch and I froze the other four in individual pint freezer bags. I'm going to see how they freeze. When I defrost I will heat them in a skillet with the hopes of firming them up even more and drying them out a bit more. I could see trying this recipe again...but I'll probably flop again because I can't read and I hate those extra steps like squeezing and blotting moisture out.

I also enjoyed reading through their recipe...there's some humor in it...can't go wrong with humor in cooking...or at least I have to laugh (or cry) most meals I make. Check out some of the other cool recipes on their site and sign up for their free newsletter.

Movie Review: The Descendants with George Clooney

2012-02-09T04:40:00.000-08:00

We saw The Descendants this past weekend starring George Clooney.

I hate to give spoilers because I really like people to discover movies for themselves...so it will be hard to say what the movie is about without giving too much away. Hmmmm, let me think...

It is a movie about loss, grief, and connection and reconnection. A movie about the importance of family and ancestry. George Clooney plays a busy attorney who never had time for his wife and kids. When tragedy strikes, he has to step up to the plate and get to know his kids again. He's also involved in a land deal that will sell off a large tract of land that had been in his family back to a descendant of King Kamehameha of Hawaii. It is the story of becoming aware of what matters; of what is important.

The story is far from uplifting, (beyond the growth and change and the eventual sense that although things will be tough, they will get through it), but it is an extremely well done movie. The acting is top-notch, and the Hawaiian scenery is breathtaking. If you've suffered a recent loss of a family member or friend who went through slow deterioration, you might not be ready for this film. It will bring it all back. I recalled 20 years ago, taking care of my father with cancer and although the story is different, the process is similar. For this reason, I wouldn't think my mom would appreciate the movie much...it would open up and old wound and she would be depressed after seeing it.

The story seemed real and reasonably accurate as to how a family might process such a difficult scenario. The kids were endearing in their own flawed ways, as were most of the characters in the film. Everybody processes tough news differently. I found it very touching, but I wouldn't call it a "feel good movie".

For the record, George Clooney is aging nicely and makes a pretty good onscreen dad.

Releasing Control: The Story of the Birthday Balloon

2012-02-08T04:12:00.000-08:00

I really thought I had already written about this. Maybe I have and I can't find the post. Forgive me if it is a repeat. I saw this picture recently, and it reminded me of the story.

It was 2002. My son's 18th birthday. If you've been reading along, you know my son has neurological issues and mental illness. Raising him has been a trial. In December of 2001, after a violent outburst, I told him to leave. He did. Never to live under my roof again. He was 17. It was like having both our hearts ripped out.

In May, of 2002, my son turned 18. We had a celebratory lunch, and gift opening back at the house later, but things were tense and awkward. I had also purchased him a bunch of helium Happy Birthday balloons. I withheld one; kept it hidden in my room for later.

Later that afternoon, I took that balloon, and a lawn chair up to the mausoleum in the cemetery which faces a giant golden cross. My intent was to have a private ceremony, releasing him back to God. I had to find a way to make peace with our separation, with his abrupt emancipation, and to realize that the life I had guarded for 18 years was now out of my hands. I had to somehow let go, knowing that his future was uncertain and rocky; dangerous, perilous and any number of things you can attribute to a mentally ill person who is now, on their own. Due to the choices he was making about not participating in treatment or medication, I had to make the tough-love choice that the bank was closed. He had to make it on his own from here.

So there I was, heading up to the cemetery, with this birthday balloon bobbing in the back seat, with no idea of what I would do once I got there. I'm not the most symbolic or abstract person you'll ever meet. I'm literal and linear. But I knew I wanted to mark this day as a special turning point. I survived sticking it out with him for 18 years. I wasn't arrested for killing him or him me. It was never easy, always traumatic, always like dodging bullets in a war zone, but we made it this far. I need to pat myself a little on the back for that, and to truly let go of his future, and my control over it. I was going to make an extreme effort to bend my brain and do something symbolic. I would release the balloon, while sitting before the cross, to return my son to God's keeping. That's the plan.

I got to the cemetery and parked. I opened the back door to get the folded lawn chair out and set it in position before the cross. I returned to the car for the balloon and it was gone. I mean VANISHED. It was not in a tree, it was nowhere to be seen in the sky, it was certainly no longer in the back seat. And.....I......was......royally.....PISSED.

My emotions were already fragile that day. Things had been so awkward with the birthday "celebration". I had figured out a symbolic ritual, I had bought the damn balloons, withholding one, I had it all worked out. I was creating outside my comfort zone, gosh darn it! What the HELL was God THINKING!?? I raged. I cried. Good thing it was just me and some dead people in the cemetery. "YOU COULDN'T LET ME HAVE JUST THIS O*N*E, God? What the hell!??" The rant went something like that.

Then out of seemingly nowhere, but clearly in my head, a thought interrupted my rage. I heard the voice of God, or angels, or guides, or somebody, because it certainly wasn't me...I was still yelling. The voice said:

"He was never yours to return to me. He's always been mine."

Well, if that didn't stop a person short, you would have to be an idiot. Then the realization came, and the tears came, and I plopped myself down in the lawn chair looking up at that cross. And I released MY grip on my son...which was only an illusion in the first place. In that moment, although I'm not gonna lie, I was still pissed about my plan being messed up, but in that moment, I was able to let go and release.

It doesn't mean I haven't worried in the years that have followed, but the worry is not the same as I thought it would be, and not the same as it was before this "event". I have a sense that there is a larger plan that I am not aware of. I don't mean this in the Christian/God sense, but in a spiritual sense devoid of religion. I am aware that we come into this world with a path a plan and a journey that is all our own. Sometimes we die early or violently, sometimes we live to 100, sometimes we live happily and sometimes we live miserably. None of that is in my hands. His life, his choices, his path are his. I can't rescue him enough times to make a difference, nor would he learn if I did. So I just continue to love him through it all, direct him when he asks, and try the best I can to remind myself of that message I got when he was 18. He'll be 28 this May. His life these past 10 years has been very hard. A real struggle. But he doesn't belong to me, and he never did.

If you've got 35 minutes to spare, please enjoy the award winning film from 1956, The Red Balloon.

Movie Review: Hugo

2012-02-07T05:06:00.000-08:00

Saw Hugo this weekend. Dug it. Maybe not a lot, but I dug it.

The basic premise is an orphaned boy, who lives in the intestinal tract of a train station is searching for a key to make a refurbished automaton run. Fixing it feels like a link to his father. I don't want to give more of the story away than that.

Hey...wasn't Extremely Loud and Incredibly close about a kid who lost his father and was looking for a LOCK to fit a KEY that he hopes will link him to his father? Maybe these two kids could team up?

We did not see the 3D version as I'm not a fan of the 3D technology and don't like paying yet more to see a movie. In 3D, the workings of the clock and the vantage points that the boy can watch the world from would be cool if you like 3D technology. Lots of spinning sprockets, wheels, cogs, movement, camera angles and such.

The film is visually very rich while maintaining a rather yellowed or sepia sort of golden tone to it. The story and the setting and time period have a Dickensonian feel to them: Orphan boy, mean adults after him, has to steal for his supper, desperately trying to avoid the orphanage, happy new family at the ending, that sort of thing. The acting is great and I (as per my usual) wanted to take that kid home with me and keep him safe and happy. Movies with orphan or street children in them always make me feel my mama bear rear her head and they can be hard for me to watch.

I thought the film was a visual treat but to me it was just OK in terms of story (probably due to my discomfort with that orphan theme). It is getting rave reviews and people really love it, so post here what you thought of it and why. It's been out since Thanksgiving time but just reached our small town. Go figure. It actually comes out on DVD later this month. They don't waste any time with that do they?

Book Review: The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

2012-02-06T04:23:00.000-08:00

The novel, The Language of Flowers (2011) by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, is the life story (up to the early 20's) of Victoria. Victoria was abandoned at three weeks of age. She has spent her life in a series of foster placements and group homes. Arguably, she has Reactive Attachment Disorder. This is her story of finding her way through her anger and her inability to bond.

I truly enjoyed this book. It is so well written, and so engaging. You love Victoria despite her flaws (of which there are many), and the people who come into her life that are shining moments.

Sadly, those with R.A.D. don't always fare well and live happily ever after. From a clinical perspective, I shook my head a bit, but I still hoped and was glad for a hopeful ending. The author drew from her experience as a foster and adoptive mom.

Try it...you'll like it.

Recipe: Vegan Taco Soup

2012-02-05T04:26:00.000-08:00

I found this recipe on VegWeb. It's a great resource for vegetarian recipes. Even if you're not a vegetarian, you might like some of these.

I'll print it here for your convenience, but be sure to visit their site for great recipes.

Vegan Taco Soup

1 (14-16 ounce) can kidney beans (including all the liquid). Organic if available.
1 (14-16 ounce) can pinto beans (including all the liquid) Organic if available
1 (14-16 ounce) can hominy (including all the liquid) Organic if available (I couldn't find any organic)
1 (12-16 ounce) can corn (including all the liquid) Organic if available.
1 (7-8 ounce) can diced green chilis (I use mild...we don't like much heat) I couldn't find organic
1 (28 ounce) can diced stewed tomatoes (including all the liquid) Organic if available
1 cup salsa (I used organic, mild and I just used an entire small jar)
1 (1.25 ounce) package vegan taco mix (I used Simply Organic Southwest Taco) My grocery store doesn't carry it but my health food store did. Or you could use your own organic spices (chili powder, garlic powder, cumin powder...again...organic spices if you can).
1/2 cup diced jalapenos, optional (I left these out...we don't want it hot)
1 (12 ounce) package vegan ground beef (I used a 12 ounce bag of Morning Star Farms beef style crumbles from the frozen food section.)
1 small onion, diced (organic if ya got it)
1 TB minced garlic (organic if ya got it)
2 TB oil (organic if ya got it)
Vegan sour cream to garnish (optional)
cilantro, to garnish (optional)
avocado, to garnish (optional)
tortilla chips, to serve (optional)

So where we differ is the things I opted out of (noted above), and the cooking method. The recipe calls for you to open up all your cans and put them in one pot to begin warming, and in another pot cook your onion, garlic and warm your veg crumbles. I'm all about saving dishwashing. So I get a big soup pot and I put the oil in the bottom, and saute the onions and garlic in it...then add the veg crumbles, then I add everything else...to the same pot. Why use two? It saves you nothing in the long run. But please read through their directions on their website if you want to do it their way.

Also...my hubby, sweet baboo that he is...doesn't like soup...not the liquidy kind. So I have to try to thicken things so they are more like a stew, without a lot of extra liquid. This recipe has no other added liquid besides what came in the cans but there is still a bit more looseness than he would like. So I skipped the step with the tortilla chips, and I cut up strips and chunks of corn tortilla which will thicken that soup up just right. Start with 6 or so....I ended up with 10-12 but that's just an option. The tortillas break down and add flavor.

I also topped it with low fat plain yogurt. That's not vegan. I can't swear that the corn tortillas were vegan. So bear that in mind.

And next time I make it (because we liked it well enough to eat it again), I will make this further adaptation.

I hadn't ever tried Hominy...didn't really know what it was...I wasn't crazy about it. It is corn that has been chemically soaked and it comes out sort of like a dry garbanzo bean that tastes like a corn tortilla. Some people love it, I didn't. Plus I'm not convinced that the way it is made is safe or healthy. You can read up on it through that link I provided. So what I think I will do is just add a can of organic garbanzo beans instead. There is already a can of corn in it, and in my version I'm adding chunks of corn tortilla, so I don't think we'll miss it.

Remember, be sure to check out VegWeb

Book Review: Gone But Not Forgotten by Phillip Margolin

2012-02-04T04:32:00.000-08:00

Oh baby, this book was an awesome crime fiction, or murder mystery, or however one would categorize it. It truly had me turning pages to the end and there were unpredictable twists.

The story covers two primary settings; Hunter's Point New York, and Portland, Oregon. There is a serial killer at large. He or she never leaves any forensic evidence behind. By the end of the book, if my count is correct, we're up to 9 in the body count. The killer is brutal and sadistic, methodical, and it would seem, looks just like everyone else...not like the monster everyone would expect. The only clues, the killer's signature, left behind, is a black rose, and a note reading "Gone, But Not Forgotten".

The book was spellbinding. Although the subject matter is grim, the details of the murders are not graphic...not nearly like they could be. I'm a total lightweight, and I scare easily. I gross out easily. While there is sex it is not graphic either. There may only be a couple of swear words in the entire book. It didn't make me queasy or give me nightmares. It DID have me thinking about serial killers, and what makes them tick and the tragedy of it all. I thought about the book when I wasn't reading it. That's the sign of a pretty darn good read. I like this genre, but this is not an average book. It was good. Really good. If you read my book reviews, you know I don't say that about many books. Most fall into the "average beach read" category.

An older book (published in 1993), you'll be able to pick it up for a song, or find it in your local library. The author, Phillip Margolin, "is a practicing criminal defense attorney in Portland, Oregon. He has tried many high-profile murder cases and has argued in the Supreme Court. He was the first attorney in Oregon to use the battered woman's syndrome as a defense in a homicide case." ~ book jacket ~ I'm thinking....I need to find some other books by him. His website shows a new one was released in October and he has quite a collection of work.

Quirky Accomodations: The Dog Bark Park Inn Bed and Breakfast in Cottonwood, Idaho

2012-02-03T04:12:00.000-08:00

On occasion, I go to Cottonwood, Idaho to have personal retreat time at the Monastery of St. Gertrude. Every time I go, I pass this interesting place; The Dog Bark Park Inn Bed and Breakfast. Yup, that's right, for right around $100 per night, you stay inside that dog.

I have never stayed there. I think when they read this post, they should give hubby and I a free night's stay so we can evaluated it further on the blog. We did stop and take a few photos of it.

So here are the photos we took, and a little video we found on YouTube.

This is a view from driving by

I took these from the parking lot.

This is a little beagle, next to the large one. I don't know if that one has anything in it.

I mean to tell ya, that is one giant fire hydrant! And if the photo at the top of the page is accurate, there is a port-a-potty inside!

This is the office as seen from the parking lot.

These are some GIANT blocks on the property.

Also, little known factoid, on the property, you will also see a chainsaw art in pinkish purple that just sort of looks like an odd post. It is the Japanese symbol for "people" done by one of the owners. He also did a similar piece of chainsaw art for the sisters of the Monastery of St. Gertrude. When one of their ancient giant blue spruce trees blew over in a wind storm, he fashioned a piece of the tree into the symbol for people. It became a donor plaque that currently has over 500 donor names on it. And because I'm spectacular, here is a photo of THAT. Things are connected...especially in small towns.

There is Sister Katie showing us this sculpture crafted by none other than one of the owners of The Dog Bark Park Inn Bed and Breakfast. I bet you can't say that three times fast.

This sculpture currently sits inside the Spirit Center at the Monastery of St. Gertrude.

Now here's that little video I promised you:

The Roadside Art of Elton Brown

2012-02-02T03:54:00.000-08:00

On our way home from a mini vacation, we were driving through Pomeroy, Washington. On the outskirts of town, we saw this funky artwork by the side of the road. As it tends to be when you're going TO or coming FROM, you tend not to stop all that much, you just keep driving while wondering "what the heck WAS that??"

I did a little Googling when I got home and found some reference to this art on Roadside Architect website.

This art is created by Elton Brown and is constructed from sickle bar mower teeth. If you're not an agriculture enthusiast, you might be wondering just what the heck sickle bar mower teeth are. I'm just the girl to fill you in, because I didn't know either, so I looked it up. As you might suspect, sickle bar mower teeth come from a sickle bar mower. AHAHAHAHAH! OK, I can do better than that. I found you a short commercial for the Troy-Built sickle bar mower. I'm sure there are various shapes, sizes and brands but it will give you a general idea so you can tell what the parts are used to make these metal sculptures.

But first, let's look at a few more of Elton's sculptures:

This DOES tend to catch your eye as you're passing through town!

OK, I'm impressed. All this from sickle bar mower teeth...of which I had never heard of.

There is a whole lot of talent and creativity in the world. Keep your eyes open and your camera ready!

jcp or J.C. Penney is overhauling the way it does business

2012-02-01T04:58:00.000-08:00

J.C. Penney, or jcpenney as it will know be known has just implemented a major overhaul in the way it will conduct it's retail business. In times when stores are dropping like flies, jcpenney is trying to reinvent itself and stay afloat in the current marketplace.

J.C. Penney has managed to survive changes in business since it first began in 1902 and has been evolving ever since. In more recent years, we've seen the dropping of automatically mailing heavy catalogs to everyone. You now have to buy them, at the store if you want one. I've seen prices slowly inch up and quality slowly go down to where I lost all interest in anything but the sales. Then the sales (which now take place daily, with expensive daily colored print ads in our local newspapers) didn't even hold my attention anymore. Quality wasn't good enough, sales weren't good enough, and when you have one every day, it begs the question "Why not just lower the prices and save yourself some advertising costs?" And it appears they ARE listening.

A little further note to jcpenney...the store in La Grande, Oregon is in desperate need of an update or a new location (probably new location given that this one is not at all handicapped accessible, it is overcrowded and dark and not at all inviting). Can you hear me now? I just don't like the store. The dressing rooms suck canal water...they are bad.

I've gotta tell you that their new TV ad is as annoying as most. A lot of people screaming because they are tired of the old way and want to be heard. jcpenney is listening. But an advertisement where we listen to people literally screaming and yelling is a total turn off and an insult to screaming people. Just lay out a simple ad campaign. It doesn't need to be cute or trendy, just intelligently tell us..."you've been asking, we've been listening". Yes, you may send me my royalties for that ad slogan. Also I say to you jcpenney, offer free shipping on catalog orders shipped to home on EVERY order, EVERY day with NO MINIMUM purchase. Customers want this. Trust me.

First of all, there's the new logo, which is supposed to invoke the American flag. Boo...Hiss...I don't give a crap about that, nor does the American flag make me go ga-ga for a store. It's fluff and stuff and irrelevant. Plus, start reading labels on jcpenney items...are they made here? Not too terribly much. So that new logo is all about taking advantage of the current surge in patriotism...not about who they are as a company.

Then there is the "new" name. Again I say...big deal. Who cares? The name and the logo probably cost them a fortune to design and implement...and for what? Do people really care about that? "Oh, I am so bored with the J.C. Penney name and logo. If only they would change that, I would shop there more." Nope. Never heard that.

Then there is the doing away with the overload of print ads and sales. Saving paper and not saturating us with daily sales is a good thing. But, um, did you really need to send out that expensive splashy 95 page "ad" announcing these changes? It features some prices, and color photos of some new items, but...no catalog numbers or how to locate them online. I'm still having trouble finding some of the items shown in this um...is it a non ad? That...was a waste of money and paper. It gives me the info I've printed in this blog, on two pages (and it didn't need two pages to do it). The rest of the info is incomplete. More of an expensive teaser that then confuses me when I try to find the same prices online, or where the item is located. A catalog number would have been really dandy.

Last but not least, there is a new pricing system. Whoa Nellie...hold the phone...did they say new pricing system? Now they might have my attention! Up to now I was just hearing Charlie Brown's teacher say "Wha wha wha wha, bla bla bla". Overall, the plan is to reduce prices across the board by around 40% every day and do away with sales and print ads. The new catalog I have (which honestly, I'm going to tell you again, stop wasting money on big color ads that have very little in them).:

"In praise of fresh air
This year, we turn 110. We're fine with growing old. We're not fine with growing stale. So, to celebrate, we're going to throw open the windows and let in some fresh air.

We're rethinking and reimagining, and if we find that we've picked up any bad habits over the decades, we're going to leave them far behind.

We're simply going to treat people as we'd like to be treated ourselves. Fair and square.

We won't make anyone jump through hoops to get a good price. We won't fill mailboxes with junk. We'll have great prices every day and spectacular prices that last a whole month. And it won't stop there.

We'll keep dreaming up new ways to make you love shopping again, matching our calendar to the rhythm of your life.

Because we're not interested in being the biggest store or the flashiest store.

We want to be your favorite store."

Then they lay out their new patriotic (barf) pricing "Fair and square. 3 kinds of pricing; red, white and blue. 1 happy return policy; any item, anytime, anywhere. It's that simple":
Red = Everyday prices. No need for coupons. No weekend sale. Red prices mean great prices everyday.
White = Month-long values. The best stuff of the month on sale for the entire month. Just look for the white price.
Blue = Best prices. mark your calendars. Every First and Third Friday we mark it way down. On February 3rd and 17th, wee it in blue, and grab it quick!"

Did this actually do away with sales??? Um...not exactly.

Regarding that shipping I mentioned. You can currently receive shipping free to your local store with no minimum purchase requirement, or free to your home with a $69 purchase. I say go all the way jcpenney. Offer free shipping to our homes every day with no minimum purchase. You can do it, I know you can. I often shop online, and free shipping is one determining factor (along with overall price and quality) of whether or not I choose to order.

Forbes Magazine calls jcpenney one of the most interesting retailers to watch for 2012 and further says that the new structure can succeed (despite some critics saying this new idea will kill jcpenney dead as a doornail forever and ever Amen). I think they're making an effort. Now, not for a minute do I think they restructured this for the shopper...because they care that much about US...they did it because they are sinking and they had to do or die. THAT'S usually when they start thinking of us, the shoppers that make or break them.

Have you shopped the "new" jcpenney? What have you noticed? What do you think of these changes? I'm about to go online for the first time in a very long time and look around. I like the dropping price idea. As for month-long values and first and third Friday values, I'll have trouble remembering this, so I'm not sure how important that is. Perhaps if I'm looking for something specific, I'll look again on the first and third Friday to see if what I'm thinking of ordering drops any lower. Overall, I just want really good prices everyday. And clearance racks are fun (both online and in store). J.C. Penney simply got too expensive for my budget as the quality dropped.

Did I mention I want free shipping to my house...no minimum?

And, um, before you get to waving that "American flag" symbol of a new logo too much, while jcpenney is an American company, its products are not largely produced here. So if that matters to you, it's a consideration to read the labels of where each product is manufactured. If you're gonna wave that flag jcpenney, wave it all the way...no more sweat shops or outsourcing to other countries. Or is that what the American way is?

Television Series Premier Review: Touched with Kiefer Sutherland

2012-01-31T04:52:00.000-08:00

We watched the premier of the new series Touch starring Kiefer Sutherland (as Martin Bohm) and David Mazouz (as Jake Bohm). You'll also recognize Danny Glover in this series.

The basic storyline is that Martin is at the end of his rope trying to juggle the intense needs and expense of a child with special needs (autism without speech) following the death of his wife. He's had to relocate, and job hop to keep pace. Jake manages to escape from even a specialized school...multiple times to climb a tower at exactly 3:18.

In this first episode, Jake is starting to show the audience and his dad (and even the uppity social worker) that he communicates through number patterns. Further, he has the added ability to predict future events through these patterns.

I was literally spellbound and totally absorbed in the program and unaware of anything else going on around me. I was riveted. If this episode is indicative of of the series. I'm a fan already.

I was talking to a friend of mine about this episode. Our beef? We are both social workers, and we are both parents of special needs kids. Or beef is how the parent is always demonized and the social workers are either A. always right or B. always all about removing kids from the home with a sanctimonious air. For starters, on the occasions when Jake ran off unsupervised, he was in the care of a specialized school that Martin was paying to educate and supervise Jake while Martin was at work. So why would a child be removed from the home due to parental "failure" when Martin had done all that could be expected of him. Someone should have been all over that specialized school. We also both have a beef with the predominate cultural norm of parent bashing for everything...especially when it comes to special needs kids. By and large, the parents are the experts on the disorders their children have AND the individual ways in which their child copes/presents/adapts etc with it. The role of the parent as demon has go to stop. Nuff said. Fix that part Tim Kring (creator of series).

In the review below, they speak of the child as having supernatural powers. I sort of have always viewed special needs kids as ALL having supernatural powers. In many ways they are far advanced from us "normal" folk. They are evolving us to places where communication is different and less cumbersome, where creativity and other ways of viewing the workings of the universe is different. I tend to see these kids less as disabled than more evolved and it is US that has the disability by quickly labeling what is outside the norm as problematic vs advanced. I agree he displays supernatural talent. But who knows, maybe as we advance as a species, we will one day fully understand how predicting future events through patterns, numbers, or vibrations makes perfect sense. Just because we don't yet understand something doesn't make it wrong and our old or usual ways right. I think Jake displays what we would call autism and perhaps even what we would call being a savant. Predicting future events makes him extra special...in a good way.

David Mazouz is a relative newcomer on the scene. He's appeared in a few things over the last couple of years.

If you missed the first episode, you can catch up by watching it on this link. Just scroll down to the video marked "full episode" that shows a timeline of 50:14 minutes. I love that at his young age, he has already mastered person first language when referencing those with special needs.

I find it interesting that yesterday I did a review of the movie Extremely Loud and Incredibly close that has a child with autistic characteristics, AND a character in the film who doesn't speak. And today a review about a child with autism who doesn't speak. Interesting, no? No, Willow...it's just YOU.

Here is a trailer combined with a review

This is an interview with David Mazouz...just so you know he really can talk :-) But probably never will on this series.

Movie Review: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

2012-01-30T04:55:00.000-08:00

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a story of grieving and healing in the aftermath of 9/11. It is based on a 2005 book by the same title by Jonathan Safran Foer. We join the family approximately a year following 9/11.

The Schell family loses dad/husband (Tom Hanks) in the World Trade Center. Mom (Sandra Bullock) and Oscar (Thomas Horn) are working their way through grief. This process is compounded by Oscar's sensitivities (which are rumored to perhaps be Asperger Syndrome).

Oscar is extremely intelligent, hyper-focused on facts and figures, highly anxious, super sensory sensitive, and fearful of just about everything. He finds a key among his father's things, and in an attempt to move closer to his father, and not let him go, Oscar embarks upon a journey to find the lock that the key fits. In the process, his real healing begins. He meets people along the way who have all experienced losses of one type of another.

This film got mixed reviews. I've included a segment from PBS Ebert's At The Movies in which both reviewers gave it a thumbs down. While I think I understand what they are saying, and why, I found the movie to be extremely moving, while also quirky. I often wondered about Sandra Bullock's seemingly peripheral participation, but I think this was Oscar's story more than it was about his mother's process. And in grief, it is not uncommon for people to pull into themselves and be unavailable. Perhaps this was how they chose to show that. Tom Hanks is only shown in flashbacks as a similarly quirky, yet fun-loving father/husband.

You could have heard a pin drop in the theater. It has a mesmerizing quality. Perhaps that's due to the variety of feelings people still hold about 9/11. I'm not sure. My husband found "Oscar" annoying. I think that's often how kids with behavioral disabilities are perceived. So was that intentional? I'm thinking it was. I found him difficult yet endearing. A puzzle. A genius. A bit of a savant at times.

So do I recommend it? I'm not sure what to say. I think people could go either way on this film. I found it different, interesting, and emotionally moving. But I also understand the criticisms I've read about it. Honestly, in my opinion, Thomas Horn (Oscar), should win a slew of awards for his role. He carried the movie, pretty much on his own. His dialogue was complex and rapid fire. He WAS the movie. Sidebar: Thomas Horn is a relative unknown but once won the kid's version of Jeopardy.

Max Von Sydow gives an endearing performance as "the renter" without speaking a single word of dialogue.

I guess you'll just have to take a chance, since it may be a crap-shoot as to whether or not it will speak to you....if it doesn't look interesting from the previews, maybe skip it in the theater and rent it later if you're on the fence.

Use this link to watch the review that is contrary to mine...they both gave it thumbs down.

Book Review: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

2012-01-29T04:23:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine recommended this book to me. She said it is a "must read". So I bought it. She didn't tell me anything about it, and I didn't read up on it, I just ordered it and dove in. It's not at all what I was expecting. I think, perhaps, at first, I was thinking it was a work of fiction. But fiction it is not. Stranger than fiction, it just might be.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is the story of a poor black family and their matriarch, Henrietta. Henrietta gets cervical cancer which eventually kills her. She is treated at John Hopkins medical center (in what used to be the negro section). Without her knowledge or consent, her cervical cancer cells are taken to grown in cultures for research. This was in the early 1950's. The cells have been bought and sold and multiplied so many times and are all over the world.

This is the story of Henrietta, her family, her cells, scientific research, ethics, and capitalism. The book was researched over many years by science writer, Rebecca Skloot, who eventually won the trust of several family members so that she could learn the story of HeLa. Cell samples were, at that time, identified by the first two letters of the "donor's" first and last name.

When you read this book, be sure to read the Afterward. It outlines how tissue samples are treated. You might be surprised to know that anything that has been cut from your body, is likely stored somewhere for use. Huge profits can be made from this, and informed consent with regards to tissue use, once it leaves your body, is only a marginal "suggestion", not a legal mandate.

The book is fascinating and horrifying at the same time. What was and still IS done, in the name of research, science and progress is astounding. In Henrietta's day, it was overt. She was of a race and class that had no rights. Today things still happen in much the same way, but have become more covert. What you don't know, supposedly won't hurt you.

The photo on the left is a microscopic view of stained HeLa cells as they appeared in a magazine. Millions of researchers and biologists have heard of or utilized HeLa cells, never knowing her story, the human story. Cells that made millions for science, untold billions for pharmaceutical companies, came from a woman whose family and herself could not afford medical insurance or medical treatments that her cells provided.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is both biography and historical document. According to the book, Oprah Winfrey and Alan Ball, in conjunction with HBO announced in 2010 to make the book into a movie. I'm not sure where that stands in terms of start or completion. If anybody knows, let me know.

Old Letter to A Psychic (John Edward)

2012-01-28T04:05:00.000-08:00

Cleaning out old emails and documents from the computer is a good thing right? It sure is taking me back to some old processing. I found this letter to Psychic John Edward from 2004...the early stages of my spiritual awakening. I can remember going to his website and looking into the eyes of this exact same photo (the website is different now) and calling is spirit to me to help me with what was going on at my house. Then I wrote to him. I never did get a response (well not in writing and not so I was aware of it).

Here it is, in all its rawness. Sorta makes me feel a bit vulnerable and silly sharing it, but maybe other people have had similar experiences or have felt the same? No Willow, just you! :-) Oh, surely not.

John Edward

Get Psych’d Inc.
P.O. Box 383
Huntington, NY 11743

September 2, 2004

Dear John,
            I am just going to write, and trust that the universe will see that the letter finds you. I know you are really busy and have many demands on your time, but I’m just gonna put this out there and then maybe I’ll feel better. I have been having intense psychic experiences for almost a year and I feel lost most of the time. I don’t have a freaking clue what I’m doing or why this is happening. I felt a connect to you because about the time I was feeling really lost, my sister began to be awakened at the exact time your program aired (6:30 a.m. on UPN) with a strong urge to watch your show. Then my mother began taping it for me because I don’t have cable. My sister said she felt like the message was to connect us. I went to your web site and your large photo is the first thing to load and it is hard to explain, but I’m sure you’ll understand, it was like we were looking at each other, not like I was looking at a photo. And I just said “GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME WITH THIS!!”. I’ve been using a divining rod as I learn to “hear” the spirit information, using it to get yes/no confirmation. For a few days, I was sensing that your higher self, had indeed come to check out the scene.
            I am currently reading Crossing Over, and listening to the CD of Understanding Angels and Meeting your Guides. Then about the time I’m starting to feel like I need to contact you, your program is no longer on the air in our area…sort of like you were on long enough for me to plug in and know you exist.
            So hard to make a long story short, but I will really try. I have always felt “intuitive” about people and on occasion would know about a minor future event. I have always seemed to sense when people were nice people or not nice. I have spent a lot of time afraid, and maybe within the last three years or so began to feel afraid and like I was being watched and intimidated. My sister seems to feel she is surrounded by guides, angels and lots of light and I feel like I am stalked by shit. A big astral dumping ground. I don’t know how to manifest love and light or to make this scary stuff go away.
            I met somebody in October of last year who knows of this spirit world stuff and got 4 spirits to leave my house. Then slowly it was as if there was a “vacancy” sign on and the spirits came in larger and larger numbers. My friend said he thought I am a portal rather than having portals in my home. He felt I need to create or find boundaries. I’m not doing very well at this. I’ve taken medication and that didn’t make it go away. I live along the Oregon Trail and have literally millions of pioneers pass through, some Native Americans, and I had a stretch of time where I had tons of male, teen suicide spirits, and tend to get lots of male energy of the bully/abusive variety. They screw around with my computer, make specific noises in my house sort of like their door bell, and I never feel like my space is my own. If it seems like they need or want help, I try to assist them in crossing over. Sometimes they are just passing through.
            Once I felt a car accident and at least vaguely knew the names/family of the two that died…but they haven’t died and this experience felt like it was in current, real time. I’m a master’s level social worker and I have worked in home health and hospice, at a domestic violence shelter, with high-risk teen parents, and am currently working at a dialysis unit. Sometimes I know when somebody is going to die. Sometimes I dream about it and sometimes I just sort of know it. Sometimes I know if somebody is in danger but I don’t have “proof”.
            I went on vacation and staying in motels became a problem….I would end up in rooms with suicide spirits or murder spirits and would have tons of flashes of what happened. I feel dark angry spirits around me a lot. Lots of times we work through it and they move on, but why don’t I have lots of happy experiences? Why do I get the cranky spirits?
            I have, on occasion been able to receive a message to pass on to a loved one and I feel like I am on the verge of this gift becoming something useful I can help people with and am on the verge of feeling ready to use it, but everything is so random right now and things seem like they are far more negative than positive. It isn’t as simple as me learning to “think positive” or “what you think about, you bring about”. I really need some solid ideas and concrete examples of how to get a handle on what is going on. I don’t want to say no to the gift, but I don’t feel like I have any knowledgeable support around me. I live in a SMALL, rural town and I just feel so lost and like nobody understands what I’m going through. Sometimes I feel really crazy, and sometimes I am just afraid I have unknowingly invited darkness into my world.
            John, I just don’t fucking GET IT. I’m 43 and in a year it is like my world just imploded. I don’t know what brought this on, but feel like God is calling me to take an uncharted path that is WAY outside my comfort or knowledge zone. I don’t even know what I expect you to do if you even got this letter. Maybe you can give me wisdom telepathically, or fly by in your dreams and take a look and let me know what gives. I’m only working 6 hours a week right now and very much in transition as to what I want to do with my work life. I know this fits in somehow. I don’t know how far I can develop this but am feeling like maybe I’m supposed to do private counseling with those experiencing loss…maybe as they near a loss and post bereavement work and if my skills developed, medium work. I don’t know how to start or what to do.
            I feel like my deceased father is near me and so is my maternal grandmother, and I think during a meditation with your CD I met “Joyce” a Victorian suffragette and part of her message had to do with standing up and being vocal but in ways that are less taxing in terms of being invested in outcomes. Other than that, so far, I have not successfully tapped into my guides. I just feel like screaming. I hate waiting for things to “unfold in their own time”.   I have information and experiences coming to me faster than I can even keep up while at the same time having almost no understanding of it or what to do with it. I also don’t have a support network of people to remind me that I’m probably not schizophrenic.
            I’m grasping John. I’m out here swinging in the breeze and I’m not having a great time. If there is anything you can do, or any thoughts you can send to enter my meditations, or if you could do or think or say or suggest anything that might help my feet connect more firmly with the path. This stuff really makes me question my sanity, and being in the mental health business, I KNOW how a counselor would receive it. Can you say “extended stay at the loony spa?” Makes me start to wonder about all of the people I used to think were crazy. Maybe they really do hear voices and see people…what a concept! I don’t hear anyone and don’t see anyone but sense messages much like I would hear myself say “don’t forget to buy toilet paper”. There are occasionally smells, and there are sounds (scratching/popping in closets, a large can of soy sauce in the cupboard that is the new doorbell, it makes a warp/pressure change "boink" sound when spirits arrive), sensations of being watched or of having somebody stand directly over me and my grandmother’s clock tends to chime at interesting points in conversations or thoughts. Sometimes a bunch of names will start spilling into my head or a scenario, or for days I’ll wake up at the same time until I figure out it is a spirit who died at that time trying to get my attention or help.
            This is a big random mess and I want to be able to use it if it is a gift rather than a curse (which is sort of feels like now). Seems like on the few programs of yours I got to see, you have rarely experienced really negative, dark energy. Does that mean I’m bad? Does it mean I’m a shit magnet? And what do I do about it? I don’t know how to find somebody who is good at what I need to learn. I get a LOT of migraines, especially when spirits are around. I get them more than once a week and I check out fine medically. I feel like Harry Potter and my scar hurts. I need to practice my patronous charm.
            Thanks for anything and everything. I hope this letter finds you. It will if it is supposed to.

Sincerely Confused,

As I reread this, 7 years later, I remember those feelings, all of them. They all come flooding back. While I still don't have clear direction, I'm far more at ease. As I finally quit fearing and blocking, there was less negativity around me. It didn't happen by my thinking happy thoughts. It ended up happening when I was so tired and so scared that I just didn't have any scared left. That's when I just gave in and surrendered. And things began to lift.

I'm not a psychic groupie. I don't have the resources to buy all the books and CDs and DVDs and travel to attend group readings or pay for a private reading where I am on a waiting list for years to pay $800 for an hour. That's just not real life for me. I also don't have cable so I miss most of these shows even though I very much enjoy them.

I notice on other interesting thing. Just this week, I was asking as I drifted off to sleep if I could be aware of my spirit guide. I sort of heard the name "Joy" but figured I imagined it. If you look above, 7 years ago, when I did a meditation, I asked and got the name "Joyce". I find that interesting. Maybe if you call them by the wrong name, they don't mind so much...or they'll correct you.

Here is a clip where John Edward explains how he works

Here is a segment of John Edward on the Maury Povich show

And, not surprising, not everyone is a fan or a believer. Here is a comedic parody about John Edward

Book Review: Once Upon A Potty by Alona Frankel

2012-01-27T04:40:00.000-08:00

Yes, well, I told you I was going to review some of our family faves in children's books, right?

This is an obscure little book that we had all kinds of fun with. It made us laugh. Alona is from Tel Aviv, Israel where, their training potty's are a bit different than ours, more like a chamber pot or a vase. We laughed at that.

The story (and there is a girl version too) is of Joshua and Joshua's mother, learning about potty training and patience and mastery.

Here is a bit of the text (and imagine this...there is matching illustrations....not kidding:

"Just like you, Joshua has a body, and this body has many nice and useful parts: A head for thinking, eyes for seeing, ears for hearing, a mouth to talk and eat with, hands for playing, A pee-pee for making wee-wee, legs for walking and running, a bottom for sitting and in it, a little hole for making poo-poo."

We didn't call any of that by those names. We used "penis", "poop", "pee" and I don't know if we even discussed the anus much beyond "bottom". So both of us got the giggles saying these different names. It is a short little book with cute illustrations. Our copy even has my son's early "ink creations" scrawled in the front of it. It's a treasure. Originally written in 1975 for Alona's son Michael, it has become a classic.

I haven't read or seen the girl's version, so I don't know what they call her "junk"...maybe the same...but with pictures of girl junk? Anybody have the girl version? In the girl version, the child's name is Prudence.

It's OK to laugh during potty training. We tried to stick with the correct medical terminology as best we could, but giggling sometimes happens.

Movie Review: Captain America

2012-01-26T04:06:00.000-08:00

We rented Captain America; First Avenger from Netflix. I'm going to confess something. We rented it less than a week ago and I've already forgotten the plot. That's how memorable it was.

A dweeby, weeklying, really wants to serve his country but keeps getting 4F rejections. Finally, he is accepted for his heart and determination, but as a risky science experiment to create a super soldier in the lab. It appears to have been a success, and Captain America is born.

He has to fight the bad guy, a Nazi with the same technology. It's 1942. You know Captain America has to win, right?

I was a bit bored overall, and the story was not very riveting. However, I did enjoy the special effects and cinematography, and it was well acted. The same technology that was used to age Brad Pit backwards in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was used to make Captain America grow from short, slightly built weakling, to tall, super-buff soldier.

It is PG 13 for violence and a mature theme/plot. When the Nazi dude takes his mask off, kids might get nightmares...he does get a bit Voldemort-ish. If you like the long string of action films based on comic books, then you might like this too. I think it was entertaining while it lasted, but utterly forgettable. Good to rent, but glad I didn't pay full ticket price to see it in the theater.

But of course, being a glutton for punishment, I'll have to go see the upcoming sequel: The Avengers.

Movie Review: Hannah

2012-01-25T04:52:00.000-08:00

Hannah, starring Saoirse Ronan is...hmmmm, sort of science fictiony, sort of futuristicy, definitely ACTION.

It is the story of 16 year old Hannah, who has been raised in the wilderness by her father to be pretty much "super survivor girl". They've been in secluded hiding, off the grid, in training since she was two. Someone is out to get her. To kill her. She insists that she's finally ready to go after the one or ones who want her dead...to kill them first.

It's one of those movies where you really have no idea what's going on, and are fed little clues along the way. I really enjoyed it. It didn't do super well at the box office when it was released in April of this year. It only just slightly exceeded double the expense of making it.

Seventeen year old, Saoirse Ronan (American born/Irish parents), is one heck of a little actress. You may know her from her leading role in "Lovely Bones". (of which I loved the book but hated the movie). She is awesome in this role as an emotionless automaton.

The film is rated PG-13 for mature subject matter (ie, just a complex storyline that would be over the head of most kids), and violence...lots and lots of violence. Heck, most of the people in this movie end up dead. It's not gory though...or it would have been an R. I only really remember one or two swear words. So mostly it's the violence and the complexity of the story line that make it not a good movie for kids. Especially considering SHE's a violent kid that knows how to kill everyone. We rented it from Netflix.