• Discipleship – Equipping and encouraging for exceptional spiritual transformation. Topics include God’s personality, salvation, trust, hope, worship, prayer, creation, purpose, redemption, relationship with God.
• Mentorship – Equipping and encouraging for exceptional self-identity. Topics include identity in Christ, psychology, suicide prevention, thought life, leadership, women’s ministry, goal-setting, coaching, discovering personality, spiritual gifts.
• Relationship – Equipping and encouraging for exceptional relationships. Topics include marriage, loving others as yourself, prickly people, divorce, forgiveness, boundaries, perspective, understanding, Biblical personalities.

The post Blog Navigation Tips appeared first on Deb Potts.

Why we Tell ourselves Stories

The Bible agrees that we tell stories, and those stories inform who we are, “For as he thinks within himself, so he is” (Proverbs 23:7).

Our brains are wonderfully creative organs. Consider this quote from Escaping the Matrix: Setting Your Mind Free to Experience Real Life in Christ by Gregory A. Boyd and Al Larson.

“Our brain weighs only three and a half pounds, but this little organic computer can in most respects outperform the largest and most sophisticated computers humans have been able to construct. Consider that one gram of this gray matter (roughly the size of a pea) is more complex than the entire global telephone system. The average adult brain consists of more than 10 billion neurons communicating with one another through more than 10 trillion synaptic connections. …As unbelievable as it sounds, the number of possible neuronal connections in the brain is more than all of the stars in the known universe (approximately 50 billion galaxies with an average of 100 billion stars each). Although the average dendrite is a fraction of a millimeter in size, if you were to line up all the dendrites in your brain, the line would circle the globe five times!”

With that kind of processing power, we are able to craft the most imaginative stories about things we don’t know. We seem to have this need to explain, or to understand things. Psychology Today reports that people say they worry because it helps them solve problems. It may help them think constructively about things. Most people worry about the future or the present. And most people worry in the bedroom. I don’t know about you, but nighttime is when my worry-warts come out in full force.

When we have a future that is uncertain or scary, we feel better if we can define it a little. So our brains create little scenarios and we let those stories circulate around and around in our minds, defining and putting our uncertainties into a more orderly (if more frightening) alignment.

Why we Need to Change our Stories

It’s so important to guard what you allow your mind to dwell on. The Bible warns in many places about the danger of believing untruths. “People are slaves to whatever masters them” (2 Peter 2:19). In John 8:32 Jesus tells us that when we know the truth we are free. But the opposite would also be true – when we believe a lie, we are in bondage.

Worry is, for the most part, a bunch of hooey. I shudder to think how much time I have wasted believing a worst-case scenario only to discover my great fear never occurred. Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever feel just a little aggravated when things turn out good when you predicted they would bomb? Come on, admit it!

Some of the most common things we worry about include relationships, work, finances, housing, the future, lack of confidence, health. Read more about this in Psychology Today.

So Scripture warns us against believing lies, and tells us what to replace those lies with: “whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8).

Engage your Senses in your Story

Worry stories can be very evocative to us. We imagine little details about how something is going to happen, what will be said, how we will feel, and how others will act. Boyd and Larson compare the stories we tell ourselves to beer commercials. After years of research, advertisers have learned to make commercials very vivid and evocative – the more the senses and emotions are touched, the higher the sales will be. Dollars prove them right.

Gregory Boyd writes, “Our true ideas have got to become at least as vivid, as concrete, and as experiential as our false ones. The theology in our minds has got to become as impacting as the beer commercials. Our vision of God has to become as concrete and attractive as the most beautiful movie we’ve ever seen and the most moving symphony we’ve ever heard. We need to embody all our true information by imaginatively seeing it, hearing it, feeling it, smelling it, and tasting it.”

We are emotional and sensual beings. Why not employ those qualities in our personal story-telling?
Click To Tweet

I love to imagine scenes in the Bible, and tell myself stories as if I am in the scene. I call them ‘prayer stories.’ I choose scenes that are still future to us, in the book of Revelation. As I set the scene, I try to employ as many senses as I can to keep me grounded in that scene. My mind tends to wander, so engaging my hearing, touch, smell, etc. helps me stay on task.

I have a sound app on my phone that I often use. I love the sound of a river, and imagine I’m sitting by the River of Life with Jesus, just talking. Or I use the sound of birds, or crickets chirping at night.

As I sit in my chair, I am mindful of the feel of the seat under me and the chair arms. Sometimes I use essential oils to engage my sense of smell.

Then I let my mind play out a scene like one in the Bible. The 2^nd and 3^rd chapters of Revelation have seven messages to seven different churches. Each church was struggling with something. John encourages the churches to persevere and gives them some advice. Then each section ends with “to him who overcomes, I will…”. Each “I will” precedes a gift.

These seven gifts of encouragement can help us if we really embrace them. Imagine you are an overcomer, and at the end when you finally reach heaven, you are meeting Jesus to receive the gift he mentions. You are a warrior, and you fought hard, and you persevered and overcame the struggle. Below are a few of them. Which one resonates with you?

Prayer Story Examples

• Revelation 2:7: “To him who overcomes, I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the Paradise of God.”

Imagine you are sitting under the Tree of Life with Jesus. Are you at a table, or sitting on the ground? Maybe you are sitting in the tree, on a large branch. The Tree of Life yields 12 different fruits, one in each month. What does it taste like? The leaves of the Tree of Life are for healing. Imagine Jesus pressing the leaves to make His own personal blend of essential oils, just for your healing. What does it smell like?

• Revelation 2:17: “To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.”

Imagine you are standing in a meadow, Jesus hands you a jar of manna and a spoon. What does it taste like? After finishing the manna, Jesus places a stone in your outstretched hands. It fills both your palms. Its smooth and shiny, you can feel the weight of it. It’s cool to the touch. As you peer into the surface, you can see some letters start to appear. They spell out your new name, a name no one else knows but you and Jesus. This name has meaning, like all names do. The meaning of your name encompasses your whole life; your giftedness, your circumstances, the events that shaped you. All makes perfect sense as you gaze at your new name. How do you feel?

• Revelation 3:5: “He who overcomes will be clothed in white garments; and I will not erase his name from the book of life, and I will confess his name before My Father, and before His angels.”

You are dressed in a long, flowing, white gown. You stand in  line of similarly dressed people. Your posture is erect, your heart thumps with joy. As you reach the front of the line, you hear Jesus slowly pronouncing your name. He announces the accomplishments of your life before God the Father and a crowd of angels. Jesus holds a large book in His hands, and you see your name inscribed on the page in letters of gold. What does it mean to you to see your name there?

True, Holy Stories We Tell Ourselves

Jesus taught in parables – or stories. He used that mechanism because it’s easy for us to understand concepts when they’re in story form. But He also used the story because of the evocative way they appeal to our senses. God created us as emotional and sensual beings. Why not employ those qualities in our personal story-telling?

May the stories we tell ourselves be true, positive, holy, and evocative.

…because U count, deb

The post Stories We Tell Ourselves appeared first on Deb Potts.

Mom has had a stroke, and in order to afford her ongoing care, we had to sell her condo. That meant bagging up and giving away many things, and taking home too many boxes of precious memories we couldn’t bare to let go. As I sat at the kitchen table waiting for the truck to come for her furniture, I reflected on what this table has witnessed over the years.

If Mom’s kitchen table could talk, what would she tell us?

“I started out as a maple dining set. I loved my cane backed chairs. I was elegant! Helen, my owner, purchased me when the family moved to a large colonial house. It’s hard to remember way back then, when the girls were all much younger. Back then, in the beginning, I was a dining room set, used only for company on special occasions.

“They would pull out all the stops. Linen table cloth, candles, china, silver, and crystal. Helen loved to make everything special. Many extended family members would be invited to sit by my side and eat wonderful home–cooked meals. I remember Uncle Bert and Aunt Stella coming one time. Uncle Bert was everyone’s favorite. He was a character! He’d inevitably get out his harmonica and start playing. He was pretty good, too. He had tons of corny jokes. I often wondered if he was ever in Vaudeville? The one time I’m thinking of, Uncle Bert had a recorder. Bert went around the table, trying to interview everyone. Only nobody wanted to talk! I was chuckling the whole time.

“Sometimes I was lonely, sitting all by myself in that dining room. My cousin, the kitchen table set, she had all the fun. That’s where everyone sat around, laughing and playing cards and talking for hours. She wasn’t as fancy and beautiful as me, but it seemed like the people were more relaxed when they sat by her side.

“I was especially jealous when a new boyfriend was invited over. There were a lot of boyfriends in those days, those four girls were popular! Each new suitor was invited to sit at my cousin’s side, the kitchen table, eat dinner, and play games. I could always tell if they were ‘keepers’ or not, just by the way they interacted with the family when they sat in the kitchen. I felt left out. I was missing out on all the meaty conversations, the important political discussions.

“But one day, I was surprised by a big change.

“Helen and her husband Buzz were going to move, and they were getting some new furniture. And the old kitchen table was being left behind for someone else. I got a brand new coat of off-white paint, even my cane backed chairs were painted! Helen recovered my seat cushions, and I got new finials at the tops of the chair backs. One of the sons-in-law even put fake wood-grained Formica on my top. Wow, I looked fabulous!

“In the new condo, I proudly sat in front of the bay window in the kitchen. I was transformed into a kitchen table set! I loved my new location. Every morning I had company. The babies started coming around that time. With four daughters, Helen was pretty busy being grandma to a growing collection of kids. She had a high chair that would come out of hiding every time a grandchild would come over. It was always a special day when one of the children would graduate to sitting at the table, being part of the conversation.

“Laughter, tears, memories, all were part of my involvement as the kitchen table. I was built to support the family through thick and thin. I was there when some tough conversations took place and I was there when joyous occasions were announced, like the girl’s engagements. By my side hung a framed copy of the Irish Blessing. It was framed to match me!

“As the years went by, Helen moved several times. I always went with her. Finally, we wound up in a condo near her sisters. There I sat in the nook, her old faithful kitchen table. Helen still loved to have company over and cooked up a storm. She was a great cook! The condo was smaller than her former home, so she could only have a few people over at a time. But they still came, and she still made sure everything was perfect.

“She got out the linen table cloth, the china, the silver, the crystal. And she made those wonderful dishes that everyone loved so much. Chicken and homemade noodles. Roast beef and mashed potatoes with gravy. Roasted lamb. MMMMM, I can still remember the wonderful aromas and how proud I was to have all that finery sitting on top of me. Dessert was the best, most often it was homemade pie. Apple pie, peach pie, and her specialty, chocolate pie! They would sit and talk and laugh. I was in my glory!

“Eventually, Helen started to become forgetful and kind of tippy. She started falling down, and it was harder and harder for her to entertain. But that’s ok, because we had our memories to make us smile. One day she took a bad spill and she couldn’t come home after that.

“You know, I miss her a lot. But I’m made solidly and I know I have a lot of years left in me. I hope a nice family will take me home so I can have lots of company again, sitting around, playing cards, laughing, and eating. Ah, the good old days!”

As I sat there that day reflecting on my memories of Mom’s kitchen table, I realized how important a kitchen table really is. More than any other piece of furniture, the kitchen table represents the heart of a family. This is where a family is fed, not just physical food, but emotional food as well. They are nourished in the truest sense of the word. At the kitchen table they sit face to face. All other furniture in a house requires people to sit side by side. But at the table it’s face to face.

This is where relationships are formed, where they improve, and sometimes where they are injured. This is where important information is announced, where laughter and tears alike are shared. The kitchen table is where a baby officially joins the family, being able to look people in the eye because of their high chairs. Family members often sit in assigned seats at the kitchen table. So a family’s hierarchy is reflected there. Kitchen tables also usually have leaves, so they can grow to accommodate more and more people. There’s always room to squeeze one more in!

The Bible says of the three qualities of faith, hope, and love, the greatest is love. A kitchen table is where love is manifested and developed. At our kitchen table, we always hold hands when we pray before a meal. I bet my kitchen table is happy we do that.

If your kitchen table could talk, what would it say?
Click To Tweet

…because U count, deb

The post If Mom’s Kitchen Table Could Talk appeared first on Deb Potts.

Anger Smoothies

The four stages of anger can be illustrated with a recipe I found on the internet for Anger Smoothies. Each ingredient reflects what happens inside us when we carry a grudge.

Sour Milk

The first ingredient is sour milk. Most smoothies contain some milk, and milk is good for you. But like anything that’s good, if it sits around long enough, it can turn sour. Anger is not a bad emotion. God designed us to feel anger, fueled by the hormones our bodies produce. But our anger feelings are meant to be short-term. The hormones of adrenaline and cortisol will equip us to take care of a problem, to rescue a baby from a burning building, to solve a conflict. But if the hormones are produced over and over again, they can become very harmful to our health. In a sense, they become sour.

I might think nothing bothers me, but eventually my attitude turns sour. Don’t drink this smoothie!

Mustard

The second ingredient is mustard. Mustard has a distinct color, it stains horribly. When we see a mustard-colored sauce we know immediately what the flavor will be. Mustard colors things. The same thing happens with anger that is held inside. It colors us. Everyone can see we’re angry. It’s in our face. It’s in our tone of voice, and maybe our body language.

I might think I’m hiding my feelings, but everyone else sees them. Don’t drink this smoothie!

Corn Syrup

The third ingredient is clear corn syrup. This doesn’t change the appearance of the smoothie, but it sure changes the flavor! When I was little it seemed we were always out of maple syrup. So Mom would give us Caro Syrup on our pancakes and tell us it tastes just like maple syrup. We weren’t fooled. That stuff tastes awful! This stage of our anger is when we are able to stuff our feelings down deep. We no longer look angry, or sound angry. But deep down inside, that anger tastes horrible.

I might think I’ve gotten over it, but it’s still leaving a bitter taste. Don’t drink this smoothie!

Sardines

The fourth ingredient is sardines. I know, this smoothie is disgusting! Sardines are just plain stinky. I’ve never had a fresh sardine, maybe they are tasty. But canned sardines – the smell alone can gag you. This stage of anger occurs over time, when the anger sits and sours inside us long enough. It finally becomes fully developed, stinking, rotten contempt. Contempt is defined as the utmost pride and arrogance. Gradually my anger poisons me into thinking I’m better than someone else. My anger has fully ripened.

I might think I’m better than that person, but God thinks differently. Don’t drink this smoothie!

I’m Mad at You!

Google forgiveness and you can spend the rest of the day searching through 65 million entries. Forgiveness is a huge topic. Relationship issues are a universal constant. Put any two people together and eventually there will be conflict. Why are relationship problems so hard to solve?

The key lies in contempt. If my anger at someone ripens into contempt, I not only have a problem with a person. Now I have a problem with God.

Contempt is disrespect, hatred, malice, and scorn for another person. But God is clear that we are all on a level playing field.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

“All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6a).

If my anger has ripened into contempt, now I have a problem with God. My scorn for someone else is proof of my God problem.

Healing my anger

God gives us the simple recipe for making peace in our relationships with the two greatest commandments:

1. Love God
2. Love others as myself

The reason relationship problems are so difficult to solve is because we skip the first step. Even if someone else started it and we didn’t deserve the wrong, we still have to go to God first.

Our response is our responsibility. If contempt has ripened in me, I have to go to God with that horrible cocktail and ask for forgiveness for me. This has to come first if I’m going to be able to forgive the other person.

We love because He first loved us. We can forgive when He first forgives us. God shows us the way by illustrating it Himself. He is the best leader the world has ever known. He would never ask us to do anything He wouldn’t do Himself. So He allows us to experience forgiveness and then asks us to grant it to someone else.

How to Forgive

Thomas Edison, who perfected the lightbulb, tirelessly tested over 6,000 filaments before he found the perfect one. Each lightbulb he tested took 24 hours to make. Edison had a team of men who worked around the clock making bulbs with different filaments for testing.

The story goes that Edison had a young apprentice in the shop. One day he handed the apprentice a newly finished lightbulb and asked him to carry it upstairs to the testing lab. The boy carefully carried the bulb up the stairs, one by one. At the very top of the staircase, the boy tripped, fell, and shattered the lightbulb into a million pieces.

Back to the drawing board. Can you imagine the grumbles of the team as they went back to work on another bulb? Twenty-four hours later, another test bulb was produced. Edison took the bulb and handed it back to the boy.

That’s a perfect illustration of how God treats us. He knows we are going to fail, over and over again. But God looks at our potential more than our past. He knows forgiveness is the key to releasing the potential in us.

God’s forgiveness unlocks the potential in us.
Click To Tweet

God also knows our forgiveness is the key to releasing the potential in our antagonists.

When we forgive we make 3 promises. These promises will help us remember our decision, and will hold us accountable to commit to the decision to forgive.

1. I promise not to bring the subject up with other people.
2. I promise not to bring the subject up with the person.
3. I promise not to bring the subject up with myself.

Just like the boy apprentice, God knows we will fail to keep these promises. But once we’ve made a decision to forgive, breaking one of these promises doesn’t mean we quit and give up. A failure in one of these promises is a yellow flag, alerting us we need to stop and change direction.

Forgiveness is a one-time decision and an ongoing  process.

Are you mad at someone? At what stage is your anger? Will you go to God today for His forgiveness?

Just don’t drink the smoothie!

…because U count, deb

The post I’m Mad at You! appeared first on Deb Potts.

Have you ever asked the “why” questions? Why did my life turn out this way? Why did he…? Why did they…? Why am I suffering? The answers to these questions frequently turn us away from God. Because, let’s face it, God doesn’t play fair. Do you agree? I’m mad at God!

Playing Fair

Were you taught to hit back when you were a kid? My parents wanted to make sure we weren’t doormats, and they taught us to give as good as we get, to fight fire with fire, to treat them like they treat you. It’s only fair, right?

We lived on a street in a bedroom community full of tiny ranch houses overflowing with kids. A couple of doors down from us was a house of boys, bad boys. The baddest boy was Billy. Billy was a bully.

My sister was the same age as Billy and he loved to pick on her. She would come home crying. My dad would say, “You hit him back!” She never did.

One day she came home crying again because Billy hit her. That did it. My dad took my sister by the hand and marched down to Billy’s house. He rang the doorbell. If this happened today, they probably would have called the child abuse hotline, but back in the 60’s no one had ever thought of that.

Billy’s mom brought Billy to the door to talk to this irate man and cowering little girl. Billy stood on the porch, and Dad told my sister, “hit him!”

“I don’t want to!” Now she started crying.

“You hit him!”

My sister gave him a pathetic little tap with a limp hand. Now Billy started crying.

I guess it worked, because Billy never hit my sister again.

But Billy was still a bully.

Jim Daly from Focus on the Family wrote a devotional called “Don’t play fair.” He wrote, “Relationships thrive when we put aside what someone deserves and give them what they need.”

If you think God doesn’t play fair, you’re right. He doesn’t give us what we deserve, but he does give us what we need.

God’s Plan for Forgiveness

Maybe you’ve noticed that kids are born selfish. And as they grow up it only gets worse. No one ever taught their toddler to scream Mine! Parents never teach their children to lie. We are all selfish creatures, wanting only the best for ourselves. We have pride, arrogance, and we think it’s all about me.

God created us for relationship with him. He loves us, believe it or not! God gives us everything we need for a strong life. He breathed life into us, and stamped each of us with his image. This world is really all about God. When we think it’s all about me, we can’t be in a place of thankfulness and honor to God. That breaks our relationship with him.

If God were truly fair, he would give us what we deserve, separation from him. But God doesn’t play fair. So instead he made a plan to give us what we need instead of what we deserve.

God’s plan has two steps: Vertical Forgiveness and Horizontal Forgiveness.

Vertical Forgiveness

You know the story about Jesus, right? He is God’s son, he came to earth and lived a perfect life. Then some bad people killed him on a cross.

This was actually God’s plan in action. Sounds like a pretty crazy plan, right? That’s because it’s not fair.

Jesus was the perfect person, and he was qualified to die in our place for our sins. The sin of the world was put on Jesus as he hung on the cross. The weight of the world’s passions, rebellion, brokenness, guilt, shame, and fears were resting on his shoulders.

One of the critical statements Jesus made on the cross was, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NIV).

At the foot of the cross were some people. Some of them loved Jesus – his mother, other supporters. Some of them hated Jesus – people who were ridiculing him and taunting him.

Jesus addressed his Father in heaven, but he was talking about those people. And all people, those who are living now, and those who haven’t been born yet. “Christ died for sins once for all, a good man on behalf of sinners” (1 Peter 3:18 NIV). He was talking about:

• The people at the foot of the cross who loved him
• The people at the foot of the cross who hated him
• Herod, who sentenced him to death
• His apostles who abandoned him at his greatest time of need
• Judas who sold him for a few coins
• Einstein, Hitler, Mother Teresa, and Billy Graham
• Me
• You
• Our great-great-great-grandkids

Jesus was talking about us, but he wasn’t talking to us. He was talking to his Father. And he asked for our forgiveness, based on his sacrifice.

This is vertical forgiveness. It takes place between Jesus and the Father, an agreement to forgive not based on our behavior, but on his grace and love. This step of vertical forgiveness makes a way for a relationship to be established, but there is another step required before that can be accomplished.

Horizontal Forgiveness

Jesus’ death on the cross provided a way for each of us to heal in our relationship with God. But the work of the cross is only the first step. The second step is horizontal forgiveness.

Horizontal forgiveness is between each one of us and God. Jesus paid for our forgiveness, and he offers us the olive branch of peace. It’s up to us to receive it or not.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me” (Revelation 3:20 NIV).

Every person, at one point in their life or another will sense an invitation to receive this gift of forgiveness. The decision to receive is as simple as 1, 2, 3.

1. Admit I need to be forgiven. I’m not perfect enough to deserve heaven or a relationship with Jesus.
2. Believe that Jesus’ sacrifice applies to me, that he loves me enough to pay my debt.
3. Count the cost – this is a decision that will change eternity for me. Am I really serious? Do I admit… or do I admit, admit? Do I believe… or do I believe, believe? Am I willing to open the door to Jesus and let him into my life? Will I agree to do life with Jesus?

When we make the decision to receive God’s forgiveness through Jesus, we have accomplished horizontal forgiveness. The Bible puts it this way.

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9 NIV).

How can I be mad at God?

I made this decision 21 years ago, and I’ve never regretted it. My relationship with God has grown in these years to give me abundant peace even in chaos, sustaining power when I’m weak, and enduring purpose when I wonder what’s going on.

Jay Carty, a former pro basketball player told a story that helps me understand our “why” questions from God’s perspective.

Imagine you are driving on a highway and you see a horrible accident occur right in front of you. A car hits the median, rolls several times and ends up in a ditch. You pull your car over and race to the accident scene to see if you can help.

In the car is a woman. As you struggle to open the door, you see steam rising from the engine, and sparks flying. You know the car is about to blow up and the woman will be killed. You wrench the door open and immediately see the woman is trapped. Her legs are crushed beneath the steering column. You have a decision to make.

If you pull her out, you will probably break her legs. Will you do it?

Let’s say you know that this woman is going to end up paralyzed for life. She will never walk again. Will you still pull her out?

Let’s say you also know she is going to hate you for the rest of her life for making her lame. Now will you pull her out?

This, in a way, is God’s perspective. We have an eternal soul that will live forever, our bodies are only temporary. God cares so much about our eternal soul being with him in heaven, that he is willing to sort of ‘break our legs’ to save our souls. He risks everything to allow hardship in our lives. He knows that struggles can sometimes harden us so bad that we end up hating him forever.

That makes God sad. But it doesn’t stop him from trying to help us.

John Eldredge wrote, “If you are holding something in your heart against Jesus – the loss of someone you love, a painful memory from your past, simply the way your life has turned out – if you are holding that against Jesus, well, then, it is between you and Jesus. And no amount of ignoring it or being faithful in other areas of your life is going to make it go away. In order to move forward, you are going to need to forgive Jesus for whatever those things are.”

God doesn’t need forgiveness. But maybe we need to forgive God. If he loves me so much he is willing to let his son die for me, how can I be mad at him?

God doesn’t play fair. That’s the best news I ever heard.
Click To Tweet

Are you mad at God? What grudge are you holding against him? Can you forgive him today? It’s only fair.

…because U count, deb

The post I’m Mad at God! appeared first on Deb Potts.

What does being needy mean?

The Urban Dictionary defines being needy as

• Desperate
• Clingy
• Annoying
• Insecure
• Poor
• Lonely
• Loser
• Stupid
• Obsessive
• Pathetic
• Fake
• Selfish
• Thirsty
• And a whole lot more words I won’t put in a blog post

The Art of Charm blog recently posted 5 Signs You Are Needy and How It is Affecting Your Life.

Here is a list of the 40 basic needs every person has. Each of us would rank these needs differently based on our personality and life experiences.

• Be Accepted
• Be Acknowledged
• Be Admired
• Be Appreciated
• Be Approved of
• Be Believed in
• Be Capable
• Be Cared About
• Be Challenged
• Be Clear (not confused)
• Be Competent
• Be Confident
• Be Forgiven
• Be Forgiving
• Be Free
• Be Fulfilled
• Be Heard
• Be Helped
• Be Helpful
• Be Important
• Be In Control
• Be Included
• Be Listened to
• Be Loved
• Be Needed
• Be Noticed
• Be Powerful
• Be Private
• Be Productive
• Be Reassured
• Be Recognized
• Be Respected
• Be Safe
• Be Supported
• Be Treated Fairly
• Be Trusted
• Be Understanding
• Be Understood
• Be Valued
• Be Worthy

Basically being needy means needing more from a person than they are able or willing to give to you. Every person has needs, and every person is trying to get their needs met. If we expect one person to meet all our needs we are always going to be disappointed. There are two reasons for this.

1. The other person may not really understand our need and how to meet it
2. The other person is trying to get his own set of needs met

Many of us search a lifetime to get those compelling needs met, and may never accomplish that. Because we are looking in the wrong place. We get angry at the people we expect to meet our needs, and we think they have failed us.

But the failure is really ours. We have failed to look in the right place for our confidence.

God Supplies all our Needs

In the Bible, Paul found the secret to stop being needy. The secret is looking to God for fulfillment.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:11-13, 19 NIV).

There is truly no person who can always meet all our needs, every single day of our life. The only one who can do that is God, through His son, Jesus Christ. Jesus is the perfect man, the only complete man ever born. He is completely fulfilled, confident and powerful. He has no needs at all, but He understands our needs. He knows each one of us like the back of His own hand. He knows what it feels like to be in our skin.

So Jesus knows what our needs are, and He is equipped and willing to meet them, every single day of our life. Below I’ve listed each of the four personality categories along with their particular emotional needs and Scripture verses to show how Jesus meets those needs.

God needs you to need Him.
Click To Tweet

If you are not sure what your personality type is, click Personality Key to take a free assessment. You will be provided with a report listing your four personality type percentages along with lots of valuable information.

Look at the following list of needs according to your strongest personality type and pray through the accompanying verses. What are your most compelling needs? Ask Jesus to meet them.

Emotional Heart Needs

He accepts you. Jeremiah 1:4-10

He admires you. Proverbs 4:9

He appreciates you. Isaiah 64:3

He approves of you. Proverbs 4:8

He forgives you. Isaiah 1:18; 38:17; 46:22

He sets you free. John 8:32, Galatians 5:1

He hears you. Isaiah 30:19

You are important to Him. Isaiah 64:4

He loves you. Proverbs 8:17, John 3:16, 1 John 3:1

He recognizes you. Isaiah 54:17

Phlegmatic Soul Needs

He asks you to be forgiving. Luke 6:27, Matthew 6:12, 14

He fulfills you. Isaiah 65:13-14

He helps you. Isaiah 40:11, 44:2, 57:14

He includes you in His plans. Isaiah 57:15d , Jeremiah 29:11

He listens to you. Isaiah 65:24

He notices you. Isaiah 49:15-16

He respects you. Isaiah 45:4

He understands you. Proverbs 1:1-7

He values you. Isaiah 43:4

He counts you worthy. Isaiah 44:21, Jeremiah 1:4-10

Melancholy Mind Needs

He believes in you. Jeremiah 1:4-10

He cares about you. Isaiah 49:13; 54:8

He clearly instructs you. Isaiah 33:6

He needs you. 1 Peter 4:10, Joshua 22:5

He allows you privacy. Psalm 17:8, Psalm 18:1-2

He reassures you. Isaiah 41:10, 1 Peter 5:7

He keeps you safe. Isaiah 43:2,5; Proverbs 1:33

He supports you. Isaiah 33:2; 46:3-4

He treats you fairly. Isaiah 45:19, Proverbs 2:8

He understands you. Psalm 139:23

Choleric Strength Needs

He acknowledges you. Psalm 62:12, Isaiah 43:4

He finds you capable. Isaiah 65:23, Proverbs 4:12

He challenges you. John 16:33, Romans 12:21

He finds you competent. Isaiah 54:15, Proverbs 2:7

He gives you confidence. Isaiah 45:2-3, Psalm 16:3

He allows you to be helpful. John 6:28-29

He allows you to be in control. Proverbs 4:26, Jeremiah 1:4-10

He gives you power. Isaiah 40:29-31

He makes you productive and useful. Isaiah 46:10-11

He trusts you. Matthew 25:21,23

God needs you

God is ready to meet your needs, whenever and whatever they are. He has a vested interest in your being fulfilled, powerful, and confident. Why? He has plans for you to showcase His wonderful love to the world around you. You can’t do that if you are needy and desperate.

God needs you to need Him. Will you let Him meet those unmet needs? Will you let the pressure off your family and friends and instead lean hard on Jesus?

He’s knocking on the door of your heart right now, will you let Him in?

…because U count, deb

The post How to Stop Being Needy appeared first on Deb Potts.

Better to Give than Receive

The Bible has many things to say about our need to give. Sometimes our giving is financial, and sometimes it is more supportive and comforting. We are asked to carry each other’s burdens, for instance. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 NIV).

God is the giver of every good gift, and we are to grow as Christians to be like him by following his example. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights” (James 1:17 NIV).

Paul wrote that Jesus said it is better to give than receive, although this quote from Jesus is not found in the Gospels. “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (Acts 20:35 NIV).

It makes God smile when we give to others. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7 NIV).

My aging mother gave a lot to us as we were growing up. She sacrificed physically, emotionally, financially, and intellectually to raise us. She gave up her sleep, her goals, and sometimes her sanity to produce four daughters who, in her words, are perfect in every way.

Mom is now nearing the end of her life. In the past few years, and especially now in hospice, Mom is receiving more than giving. And it is good. As an independent woman, Mom didn’t receive much. She had an incredible work ethic, she literally never sat down. And if she ever did relax at the end of the day, she immediately fell asleep.

But now it’s different. And it is blessed. Mom is receiving love from me in a way I was never able to express it and have it received before. Our roles have totally switched at this point, and I realize it is blessed to me to give love to her. However it is just as blessed to have my love received by her.

I can’t give love unless the other person receives it.
Click To Tweet

Sometimes we have the mistaken idea that we must give, and give, and give, without ever receiving.

• Some think they don’t deserve gifts.
• Some think there is an ulterior motive in gifts, and skeptically refuses them.
• Some think they don’t need anything from anyone.

Receiving gifts requires humility. Receiving requires admitting I have a need. Receiving a gift blesses the giver. It isn’t more blessed to give than receive – if the receiver refuses to receive.

Better to Receive than Give

Some have made the error of thinking they need to give to everyone, even God. The scriptures that speak about our need to give never refer to our giving to God.

God is the only good giver of gifts. We can only receive gifts from God. So, sometimes, it is better to receive than give. If God is the giver.

When referring to the sacrifice of Jesus, we can only receive. Nothing we do can earn the incredible gift of salvation. No amount of giving financially, no amount of hard work serving, no amount of investment emotionally can produce the gift of salvation.

“But as many as received him, to them he gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in his name” (John 1:12 NIV).

Just like we are frustrated when we cannot give to someone who won’t receive, does God get frustrated when he offers his free gift and we don’t receive it? Jesus expressed his sadness at Jerusalem refusing to receive the truth of who he was.

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate” (Luke 13: 34-35 NIV).

Joyce Meyer writes, “If you’re struggling with life, chances are you haven’t freely received God’s gifts.” Receiving God’s gift of salvation and holiness requires us to be humble and admit our need. It means coming to God with arms wide and hands open and empty.

When God is the giver, it is better to receive than to give.

Receiving Enables us to Give

All good gifts come from God. Love is the best of all the good gifts. And love originated with God. We only have the capacity to love because he first loved us.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God… This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us…We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:7, 10, 19 NIV).

It’s only when we learn to become good receivers of gifts that we are able to turn and give gifts to others. We can’t give away what we have never received first.

As children, we do a lot of receiving. I know I did, selfishly wanting everything. No one ever has to teach their child to say “Mine!” When a parent can give love unselfishly to a child, the child gradually learns to receive that love. Then they are equipped to give love unselfishly to others.

That worked its way through my family. With Mom giving so willingly to us, she taught us to receive love, and then in turn give it to our children. And some of us now have grandchildren, who are receiving love from their parents.

And we’ve come full circle with Mom, so her children and grandchildren are giving back to her. During the time Mom was hospitalized, my kids pitched in and went to work. This happened just before Christmas. My son came up from Ohio for a weekend, my daughter and son in law spent a day at the house. The kids cleaned my house, ironed my clothes, got groceries, and even wrapped their own presents. They sat with Grandma in the hospital, they fielded calls, they were amazing. I had to let them give, I had no choice. But it was blessed.

Someday it will be my turn, receiving more than I can give to my children. That’s when I will have to rely on my humility and grace. This process is already gradually beginning, as my kids are competent adults who don’t need as much from us as they once did. Someday I will experience that it’s more blessed to receive than to give.

…because U count, deb

The post Is it Really Better to Give than Receive? appeared first on Deb Potts.

History of Raising Hands

“GOD, come close. Come quickly! Open your ears—it’s my voice you’re hearing! Treat my prayer as sweet incense rising; my raised hands are my evening prayers” (Psalm 141:1-2 MSG).

The Bible indicates in many scriptures that the history of raising holy hands in worship is long and rich. From far back in the Old Testament, raising hands was a sign of worship and prayer. Lifting hands in the Bible appears so often it is just assumed prayer is taking place without saying so. To lift hands to God has always meant coming to Him for help.

There is a long tradition among Christians of raising holy hands. A Christian sarcophagus carving dating back to the 3^rd Century illustrates a person with hands lifted in prayer. Even the Jewish people followed the practice until Christianity began to mushroom. Ancient Jewish writers note that raising hands in prayer was stopped in the synagogue in reaction to the common practice among Christians. They sought to put distance between the two traditions.

In more modern times, there is also a history of lifting hands up in worship. It is a decades old tradition among Pentecostals. Most traditional Protestants and Evangelicals don’t have a long history of raising hands in worship, but the practice is growing in many denominations.

For a comical look at this topic, watch comedian Tim Hawkins on raising holy hands in worship.

Interpretation of Raising Hands

“Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing” (1 Tomithy 2:8).

Many images come to my mind when I think of the posture of standing with arms raised up high.

• When crossing a finish line, athletes around the world raise their hands up in a V for victory, eyes raised up. This phenomenon is also found among blind athletes!
• A little child who may not have much language stands at her mommy’s feet, arms and face raised up. This universal posture speaks to us of humility, need, and reliance on someone more powerful than they.
• Christ on the cross took a posture exactly like a victor crossing the finish line. The image of Christ we see on modern crucifixes illustrates Christ’s arms at a right angle to his body. This posture would have been impossible for any person. The weight of the body would be too great for the shoulders to hold up, and the person would sink down until the arms were in a V position. Christ illustrated this when he said just before giving up his spirit, “It is finished.”

Our hands are central to our beings. They represent us, we use them to speak. As we release them upward in worship, it is common to feel a corresponding release of our spirit to God.

When we release our hands upward in worship we release our spirit to God.
Click To Tweet

Psychology of Raising Hands

Amy Cuddy gave a speech that is the second most watched Ted Talk on the power of stance. She is a social psychologist and spoke about how our posture changes how we feel. They tested subjects to determine what happened to a person’s hormones before and after taking a particular pose.

One pose is a low power pose: slouching, arms crossed, head down. And the other pose was a high power pose: arms up and wide, chin tilted up. She measured two hormones: testosterone (high levels indicate feelings of power), and cortisol (high levels indicate feelings of stress).

They tested the hormone levels first, then had the subjects hold their pose for 2 minutes. Finally, they tested the hormone levels again. What they found was astonishing.

• The subjects who held the low power stance had 20% less testosterone and 15% more cortisol after the two minutes. Just by holding a stance, they felt less powerful and more stressed.
• The subjects who held the high power pose had 20% more testosterone and 25% less cortisol after the two minutes. By holding their stance, they felt more powerful and less stressed.

Some may say this is secular research, and doesn’t apply to Christianity. But if the science is sound, secular scientists are actually confirming how God wired us to feel different just because we stand with arms raised. It turns out our Creator wired us to feel better when we worship him with our stance.

Why Raise Holy Hands in Worship?

God is so amazing. His most important commandment states we should love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When we come to him with humble hearts, yielded soul, mindful of his truths, and a stance that illustrates our need of him, we can truly embody this incredible command.

Don’t you find it interesting that the same body position could mean power, success, victory and also need, humility and submission? When we submit to God with raised hands, even without saying words, He provides the power and peace we are looking for by designing our bodies to change the mix of our hormones just because our arms are raised. For more information, read this Lifeway article on prayer postures. 

“I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands (Psalm 63:4).

…because U count, deb

The post Why Raise Holy Hands in Worship? appeared first on Deb Potts.

What is Bible Study Expo?

Bible Study Expo is the dream of Marnie Swedberg, International Leadership Mentor. Marnie is a well- known speaker, coach, author of 13 books, webhost, radio talk show host and owner of a restaurant and retail store. Whew! Just listing those credentials makes me want to take a nap!

Bible Study Expo began in 2009. It’s an online, free event that showcases the most current Bible studies. The authors of the studies are each given 15 minutes to describe the purpose behind their studies and provide tips on the best target audience.

Running concurrently with the Expo, there are Facebook and Twitter parties where listeners can interact with authors and Bible study leaders about what they are hearing.

“The fact that you can attend this expo from the comfort of home, without investing even one penny for registration fees or travel expenses, makes it accessible to everyone,” says Swedberg.

This year’s Bible Study Expo is Thursday, March 17, 2016 from 2-4 pm CT.

Registration is free by clicking Bible Study Expo. Registrants will be eligible for book giveaways, which have already started.

The past Bible Study Expo’s are archived and accessible any time as well. So even if you can’t attend live, you can always go back and dig through them to find the perfect Bible study for your group.

Every year I listen to the Expo as well as host at the Facebook and Twitter party. It seems I’m always  scrambling to take notes so I can remember later on what was said. So this year, I’ve prepared a free downloadable cheat sheet for you. It contains 8 sections, one for each author, along with her name, website, facebook, and twitter links. Please download the cheat sheet at Bible Study Expo Cheat Sheet.

The balance of this post lists each author and a short synopsis of her study.

If you haven’t followed me on Facebook and Twitter, please do so. We can chat at the online parties! Hope to “see” you all there!

Sarah Young

Sarah’s health doesn’t allow her to have interviews at this time, but she has graciously donated 3 books to give away at the Expo.

Logan Wolfram: Curious Faith

Logan starts off the Expo with the story behind her recent release, “Curious Faith: Rediscovering Hope in the God of Possibility.” Logan has a trailer for her study, Curious Faith.

We are born with an innate curiosity to explore, marvel, and believe there is more to life. But, laundry piles up. Bills pile up. Ultimately, life piles up. We can doubt God’s goodness and the everyday becomes marked by restraint, limits, and settling for the routine. Hardship extinguishes our hope and we exchange curiosity for control.

Curious Faith is about rescuing the now.

It’s about exploring possibility with a God who is unlimited, unpredictable, and ever-loving. In these pages, Logan Wolfram invites you to overcome feelings and outside circumstances that inhibit growth and rob you of hope. Pursue curiosity to enjoy the wonder of an open-handed life.

Raechel Myers: Open Your Bible

Are you longing to hear from God, aching to know who He really is? The beautiful truth is this—we can encounter the living God today and every day in the pages of His Word. Whether you are a seasoned Bible reader or struggle to keep up with studying Scripture, Open Your Bible will leave you with a greater appreciation for the Word of God, a deeper understanding of its authority, and a stronger desire to know the Bible inside and out. Using powerful storytelling, real-life examples, and scripture itself, Open Your Bible will quench a thirst you might not even know you have—one that can only be satisfied by God’s Word.

The Bible is sufficient and true. God’s Word is for you and for now. http://BibleStudyExpo.com
Click To Tweet

Barb Roose: Beautiful Already

 “I’m so fat.” “I don’t like my nose.” “I wish I was taller.”

Our dissatisfaction with what we see in the mirror is what Barb Roose calls our ugly struggle with beauty. It’s a struggle that negatively affects not only our self-image and self-esteem but also our relationships with God and others. What is the answer? We desperately need to regain God’s perspective on beauty.

During this six-week Bible study, women will unpack the beliefs or experiences that are holding them hostage. Together they will explore God’s truth about beauty throughout the Scriptures, digging into passages in both the Old and New Testaments and applying the truths in their lives. They will move away from over-focusing on unrealistic expectations and perceived flaws toward God’s viewpoint of their hearts, minds, bodies and souls.

Download Bible Study Expo Cheat Sheet

Sherry Poundstone: Becoming a Woman of Character

Who are you in the dark? Character is much more than what others see on the outside. It has been said that character is who we are when no one is looking, or when there is no one around to judge us or give us a pat on the back. This 12 week Bible study will guide you through the process of developing your character.

Kathy Willis: Grin with Grace

Have you ever felt the need to bite your tongue or grit your teeth? Grin with Grace explores ways to genuinely smile in the face of adversity and challenging circumstances. Sometimes, we just need to grin with grace! God blesses us with His grace, and it impacts our relationship with Him and with others.

Jeanne Brooks – Washed Clean and Walking by Faith

Brooks invites us to seek God and experience a life fueled by faith. This study guide will challenge everyone to step up their walk of faith and lead them to a path towards eternal life.

The Holy Bible does not lack examples of men whose faith catapulted them into its very pages to inspire and encourage the believers of today. From Noah to Abraham, Moses and the apostle Paul (among many others) readers can see how their faith has carried them to live a fulfilled life.

Sherri Burgess – Bronner: A Journey to Understand

Author and Bible teacher Sherri Burgess leads readers on her journey to understanding the purpose behind pain through the powerful story of her son Bronner’s earthly death. Using her rich, marvelous experiences of God’s works since her son’s heaven going, she provides comforting assurance that God truly is everything we need in this life. With a reader’s guide in the back of the book, this makes an empowering resource for small-group discussion or book clubs. Bronner is much more than an inspiring story of faith in the worst kind of pain. It is a call to action and a beckoning to know our Holy God.

Download Bible Study Expo Cheat Sheet

Gwen Smith – I Want It All

Gwen Smith knows how easy it is to dismiss God’s plans with the thoughts, I can’t make a big difference for God because I’m just an ordinary woman with an ordinary life. Yet God created us to join Him in doing amazing work in the world. He created us to live with abundant joy, courage, and influence. But not the joy, courage, and influence of the world. He offers His grace for each failure, His love that shatters hate, His peace that soothes the turmoil, His comfort, guidance, wisdom, rest, power, and significance. Every blessing He has for us is ours for the taking.

I Want It All will ignite a fire in your heart to experience more faith, more power, and more impact. More of Jesus. All of Jesus. Everything that God has for you.

How to Choose the Best Bible Study

Using the free downloadable Bible Study Expo Cheat Sheet, keep track of those authors whose messages resonated with you. Listen to them describe their target audience, and the issues addressed in their study. In two hours you will have a wealth of information from Bible Study Expo that it would take a lot of money and time to discover on your own.

I love that we get to hear from the authors themselves and the circumstances in their lives that prompted them to write these studies.

Don’t forget to register for the Bible Study Expo and possibly win a drawing in the free book giveaway.

…because U count, deb

The post How to Choose the Best Bible Study appeared first on Deb Potts.

My landscape has changed fundamentally. Tomorrow’s environment in my life will be different. But I still believe my life will be rich in possibilities because I am prepared. I’d like to share three steps that have prepared me, I hope they will encourage you.

Step 1: Leave the Old Normal Behind

Just before Christmas I discovered my Mom on the floor of her bedroom unable to get up. She had a pretty devastating stroke. For the first two weeks we weren’t sure she would be with us come New Years. But she rallied a bit and is still hanging in there. She is in hospice care and her world has been greatly diminished. My new normal includes taking care of her bills, selling her condo, visiting her, making decisions for her when she is unable to do so. My new normal includes the question in my mind every morning as I wake up – will this be Mom’s last day?

All of us wish this stroke hadn’t happened. We’d love to go back in time and make things happen differently if we could. But we can’t. None of us can determine the length of our days. We can influence our health to some degree, but we will all age and pass away.

We all remember what it was like before. Before the stroke. Before Mom developed dementia. Before the aging process interfered with her life. We have good memories of the past, and it’s comforting to think about them. But dwelling too much on the past can be a negative thing.

Living in the past will keep us stuck there. Here are some symptoms of living in the past.

1. You feel you will never be as happy, satisfied, peaceful, etc.
2. You feel frustrated and unhappy about your current status.
3. You are fearful about the future, and have no plan for how to move ahead.
4. You feel sad when you think about the past.

One reason we get stuck in the past is because it takes a lot less energy to dwell on yesterday’s happiness then deal with the challenges of today. We tend to forget the past had its share of problems too. Another reason we get stuck in the past is because we are fearful of the future.

In the Bible, there is a story about looking back and getting stuck. It’s in Genesis 19. The story goes that God was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. He brought Lot and his family out of the city and told them to flee for the mountains and not to look back. They hightailed it out of town, but Lot’s wife didn’t listen. Maybe she thought moving to the mountains was going to be a drag. Maybe she wanted to stay in the city where there were grocery stores and malls nearby. Anyway, she looked back. And she turned into a pillar of salt.

A pillar of salt can’t move or live or speak. Lot’s wife got stuck because she looked back. Living in the past can do that to us. We can get stuck, and be incapable of growing, leading, and influencing others.

Think about the good memories of yesterday. But don’t live there. Leave the old normal behind.

Step 2: Get Planted in the New Normal

My new normal doesn’t just include bad news. There have been countless blessings for our family in Mom’s stroke.

• Outstanding nurses and caring medical staff.
• Hospice workers who include spiritual care and a young woman with the voice of an angel who comes to sing to Mom.
• A beautiful prayer blanket knitted by a nearby church and presented to Mom in the hospital.
• Support of so many family members who dropped everything and rallied to help and comfort.
• Unexpected and excellent help in finding a facility for Mom from Parents Changing Spaces.
• A beautiful home for Mom filled with loving people that provide the best care.

In addition to these blessings, Mom’s personality has changed. She no longer expresses frustration with her life. She receives love from everyone freely. She has a new best friend at her home who holds her hand as they look lovingly at each other. Her crooked smile is warm and her eyes speak love to us.

My #NewNormal is rich in possibilities.
Click To Tweet

My new normal does have challenges. There is still uncertainty about what tomorrow will bring. Mom is deteriorating slowly and that’s hard to watch. My schedule has been filled with unexpected activities that has put my book project on hold. But I prefer to cultivate thankfulness for all God has allowed even in these difficult circumstances. I’ve had two months with Mom that did not include any conflict, only loving tenderness. And I anticipate my book will be richer for this experience. Perhaps God wasn’t done with my story yet.

If you find yourself in a new normal I encourage you to take stock of what you have rather than what you don’t have. Admit there are things in your life you just can’t control. None of us gets to pick exactly what life will bring to us. Focusing on the positives will enable you to think clearly, to sleep well, and to grow spiritually.

Step 3: Anticipate the Next New Normal

Just when you get used to the new normal, you may find yourself in the next new normal. One thing we can bank on is that life is full of changes. Yesterday we discovered Mom is showing signs of further deterioration in her health. Someday soon I will have to leave this new normal behind and climb to the next level.

I can prepare for that by spending some time thinking ahead. If we have a plan in place, the future will be a lot less scary. We have time now to plan for funeral arrangements and financial resources for expenses. We can think through the process and make some decisions ahead of time that will help us when that turn in the road comes.

I also have to acknowledge there are many things in life I can’t control. But I firmly believe God is in control. And I accept His promise that He works all things for good. Sometimes we think there is no good in our new normal because we only see with our temporary, human eyes.

God’s goals are eternal in nature. Everyone will pass out of this life, but then the ultimate good will come for those who love Jesus. God’s best for us always includes death, even though that sounds harsh. Death is the only way I will get to see heaven someday.

Life is hard, Jesus said so. “In this world you will have trouble.” He knows all about the struggles of life. He knew hardship, death, and loss. But He concludes, “Take heart, for I have overcome the world.”

We aren’t in control of circumstances. But we are in control of how we decide to react to circumstances. And our choices make all the difference in the world.

…because U count, deb

The post How to Adjust to the New Normal appeared first on Deb Potts.