It’s going to happen. It’s a workplace reality. All the training in the world cannot eliminate these instances of below-standard quality, timeliness, accuracy, thoroughness or judgment.

In this week’s conversation, Claudia and I discuss how to talk calmly about (i.e. confront) unacceptable work.

We don’t have to act like parents scolding a wayward child. We don’t have to act like betrayed slavemasters punishing those beneath us. We don’t have to act like apologetic nursemaids afraid to create a new problem where we are trying to fix a current one.

When the normal and the ordinary happen, like unacceptable work, then a straightforward and work-focused conversation needs to take place.

Listen in.

Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

At first blush, I don’t seem to do partnership very well.

It’s not that I have anything against partnership, sharing or working with others. In fact, I’m a big believer in the complementary nature of people’s interests, skills and working styles.

But the fact remains that partnership has proven elusive.

Benefiel offers three phases of extending one’s hand in partnership.

1. Speaking the heart’s truth
2. Seeking resonance
3. Inviting partnership

Speaking, seeking, and inviting.

What though, if one (me) is running into bumps in the course of the speaking, seeking and inviting?

What if one is getting blank stares when speaking one’s heart truth?

It could be an issue of vocabulary. New ideas are sometimes outside of people’s perceptions. Bridging vocabulary needs to be found before understanding can happen.

What if one is getting only polite nods when seeking resonance? How do we locate those who will appreciate, understand and get as excited as we are about our idea?

For some of us this is a real conundrum. It’s wearying to tell the story so many times with so little to show for it. How do I keep my spirits in the game? What is my learning edge here?

And finally, what if one’s ideas are new enough that the search for partners is more like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack? Not all new ideas are good ideas. And yet one cannot simply give up on a trajectory that includes one’s heart truth!

I have more personal reflection to do.

It seems so straightforward and simple when reading Benefiel’s articulate descriptions. And maybe it is. Maybe I simply need to reconnect with the power of my heart’s truth, muster the courage to tell my story again and again and again, and risk working with those who share some if not all of my vision and passion.

What is your learning edge when thinking about finding partners? What was your main take-away from this chapter?

Each week I post my reflections from one chapter of The Soul of a Leader by Margaret Benefiel. If you are just joining the discussion now, welcome! Catch up on the entire series here.

Benedict Spinoza

Offensive.

Destructive.

Some people seem to live as if they’re the only ones on the planet.

They are oblivious or insensitive to how their behavior affects others.

How then do we communicate that their actions or words hurt, offend or harm us?

Suffice to say that waiting until you blow up in an explosion of rage is not very effective.

What is appropriate when confronting the inappropriate?

This week Claudia discuss confronting inappropriate behavior in the workplace.

Listen in.

Just now joining the conversation? Catch up on the entire series here.

The Question of the Week is offered to increase awareness of one’s personal leadership practices and encourage experimentation with creative alternatives.

Henry David Thoreau

Margaret Benefiel thus thrusts us into the crux of the leader’s conundrum. We do not all traverse paths paved and mapped by others. Increasingly in today’s ever-changing world, we find ourselves in new territory, exploring not yet imagined possibilities.

If knowing or controlling the outcome is a prerequisite for leadership, then we are trapped before even beginning. How does anything new ever break in? If the end has to be determined and proven before we begin, there is no means for experimenting with the new, strange or different.

Benefiel’s bold assertion is that the heart can be trusted as a leader’s compass in charting strange territory, discerning the need for change, and trying entirely new approaches.

Anyone reading here probably already believes that leadership is not a mechanical catalogue of techniques that one masters and implements with precise and reliable effect.

What if leadership derives its very nature, form and power from the particular individual who enacts it? What if leadership were an embodied dynamic?

Suddenly the importance of what sort of person this leader is becomes significant. The quality of one’s character limits or enhances one’s capacity to think, discern and choose from the well-spring of possibilities the unimagined and unformed future holds. Creativity, courage and influence do not derive from textbooks.

What are the practices that train a person’s heart over time so that one can rely on its leading when the needful time arises?

I’m dwelling on this underlying assumption about the trusting the heart, because I am hearing certain voices in my head arguing that the human heart is “exceeding wicked”, broken beyond recognition by corruption and sin, and not to be trusted under any circumstances. These voices, (with whom I do not agree but they are shouting in my ear nonetheless), insist that in order to increase God’s rule and role in my decisions I must necessarily reduce mine.

I don’t want to get into a discussion about the fallacious and dangerous nature of this line of thinking as much as I want to point out that it exists. And into this frame of reference Benefiel’s confident assertion that God’s particular and unique design of you and I are in fact a needed and requisite feature of what the world needs from our involvement. We need to show up more not less.

Benefiel does not contend that we are correct, accurate, or authoritative because we follow our hearts, but that we are responsible and free. So she calls us to courage. Courage to pay attention, step out, and stumble.

Human leadership might look more like eager tourists exploring a strange city without maps. An adventure full of false starts, dead ends and retraced steps, but ultimately a journey of discovery, fulfillment and meaningful contributions.

What was your main take away from this chapter? Did one issue stand out more for you than the others as it did for me? What does following your heart look like for you?

Each week I post my reflections from one chapter of The Soul of a Leader by Margaret Benefiel. My reflections are my own and are intended to generate conversation, catalyze additional thinking and encourage mutual learning.
If you are just joining the discussion now, welcome! Catch up on the entire series here.

What, though, if confrontation were a mere ordinary, matter-of-fact, and mundane task? Just another workplace reality whenever diverse people and complex systems overlap. Ho hum.

Could fear and anger be making confrontation more difficult and dangerous than it really need be?

Join Claudia and I as we begin a new discussion series entitled, Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation.

Maybe we simply need to change our vocabulary. Instead of “confrontation” we could call it, “talking about difficult issues,” “informing others of your boundaries,” or “clearing up misunderstandings.”

Problems are to be expected in the workplace. Confrontation should be a normal and dispassionate form of communication that takes place more often than not. Confrontation should be a helpful and constructive activity not a scary or dangerous one. Confrontation should help us work through our problems earlier and more effectively rather than letting them fester and compound.

Confrontation for Those Who Don’t Like Confrontation
Week #1: Making Confrontation Normal
Week #2: Confronting Inappropriate Behavior
Week #3: Confronting Unacceptable Work
Week #4: Confronting Not Pulling One’s Weight
Week #5: Confronting Misunderstandings

How do you feel about confrontation?

Listen in.

Christian Bovee

It’s a open question. It’s also a loaded question.

My suspicion is that holding back takes more effort than working hard.

Holding back requires constant reflection. “How much is just enough?” “Am I putting in more than I’m being paid for?” “Is anyone watching?” “What time is it now?”

Giving your all requires no extra effort and involves no mind games. You simply go for it.

You’re free and focused to a degree unavailable to the person holding back.

Think about your own approach to work and working hard. Which days go by the quickest? On which days do you experience the greatest sense of achievement?

Why begrudge going the proverbial “extra mile” with someone when I imagine we’d have already gone the extra mile and come back by the time we sweated through whether we were being taken advantage of or exceeded the requirements of our job description or won’t be appropriately appreciated.

You can hold back if you choose. It may be appropriate. It may be fair. It may be justified. But it will certainly be a lot more work.

Loving Monday is a weekly column designed to encourage us to step into our weeks with an intention to show up authentically, engage fully, and choose to make it a good week for ourselves. Explore past columns here.