World Of Ours!

How Denying Education to Girls Fuels Honour Killings and Broken Families

2026-01-31T07:56:00.001+05:30

Are we a Society That Teaches Girls to Adjust Instead of Living?

A girl’s future should be shaped by education and freedom — not forced adjustment.

In India, conversations around honour killings, forced marriages, and young women eloping are often reduced to isolated incidents. But they are not isolated — they are symptoms of a deeper problem: how we deny girls education, independence, and the freedom to make their own choices. I originally wrote this as a reply on Quora. But the more I reflected on it, the more I felt it deserved a larger space — because this is not just someone’s story. This is our society, our parenting patterns, and our collective failure to practice true gender equality.

The post highlighted honour killings and the heartbreaking reality of young women eloping — occasionally even after marriage.

Where it all begins

All this begins when a woman is denied a proper education. That’s the first mistake — and often the root cause behind gender inequality and women’s suffering.

Then, she is denied a proper work choice. She should either not work or work somewhere near home, even if it pays less. She should not become very independent as she may go in a wrong direction and start dominating. This is as if boys never go in a wrong direction, and as if all people who become independent automatically become misguided. That’s a very blunt way of thinking — and a dangerous one.

The invisible restrictions

Then, she is denied the freedom to marry as per her wish. If she takes a decision for herself, she may be ostracized from her family and community — or worse, become a victim of honour killing.

The number of families who truly trust their daughter’s choices is very small. Ironically, the chances of marrying the right person increase when a woman is educated and independent. But since education and independence are already denied, many end up making rushed or wrong decisions.

I am talking about cases where girls in their late teens try to elope. This is often a sign of confusion about life — the dangerous gift of uneducation.

Marriage is not slavery

And wait — it doesn’t end there.

The real horror often starts after marriage.

She must clean, wash, cook, and serve. Otherwise, people (especially the husband, which hurts deeply) will label her kaamchor. Children automatically become the woman’s responsibility. A man can drink and return home late at night, but a woman shouldn’t stay away from her children even for a day.

And yes, she is expected to care for her sasur and saasu, even if her husband treats her own parents like garbage.

I understand that boys also face pressure from parents and society. But boys definitely enjoy a degree of independence that girls rarely do. That’s why many girls grow up thinking, “kaash mai ladka hoti,” “all pains are only for women,” and “boys have so much freedom.”

What right education really means

When a woman leaves her home after marriage, it should be to build a life with her partner — not to serve an entire household.

Why should a girl do everything for a boy’s family, while a boy does very little for the girl’s side? A boy can also cook in his in-law’s house. A boy can also stay with his in-laws. There is nothing wrong in that.

That is women empowerment.
That is right education.

And when parents on either side grow old or fall ill, both husband and wife should care for them equally. Son-in-law and daughter-in-law should slowly transform into son and daughter. The word “in-law” should exist only for convenience.

When this happens, family dynamics improve. Lives become easier for everyone.

Change in education system and mindset is crucial

All this will change only when our education system changes — and when parenting changes.

This society will truly heal when parents treat a girl child the same way they treat a boy child. When they stop feeling disappointed at the birth of a daughter. When they invest in her education, encourage her independence, and help her make informed choices.

Only then will elopements, ostracizing, forced marriages, and honour killings begin to decline.

In our society, parents of male children eagerly wait to eat chapatis made by their bahus. Meanwhile, parents of girls start teaching their daughters how to cook, how to behave politely, and how to prepare financially for marriage — almost from day one.

When this mindset changes, we will become happier and less stressed as a society. That too is a powerful form of education.

Next steps for us

Even with all our technological progress, we are still living in a complicated emotional mess. That’s why honour killings still exist.

If we make small changes in how we raise children, share responsibilities, and define marriage, things will slowly change.

I haven’t touched caste and religion here — that’s an even deeper layer. I don’t want to mix it into this reflection.

Book Review: 'Inferno' by Dan Brown

2024-10-16T13:19:00.001+05:30

I just finished reading Inferno by Dan Brown, a book that had been on my reading list for a long time, and I’m glad I finally accomplished it. At around 430 pages, the book initially felt bulky, but once I started reading, I found myself speeding through it—perhaps due to Dan Brown’s captivating writing style.

The action sequences in the novel were thoroughly enjoyable. The characters—Robert Langdon, Sienna Brooks, Elizabeth Sinskey, the Provost, and Bertrand Zobrist—were all well-developed and left a lasting impression. They stay with the reader for days after finishing the book.

Before reading Inferno, Dante Alighieri, the author of The Divine Comedy, was just a name I vaguely recognized. But after reading, I gained a much deeper understanding of his life. I learned about his unjust banishment from Florence for loving Beatrice, how that inspired him to write The Divine Comedy, and how his vivid depictions of hell were meant to guide people of his time toward the righteous path.

The novel also takes readers on a literal tour of Florence, painting such a vivid picture that it made me want to visit this beautiful Italian city someday. Venice is described in equally rich detail, as much as the plot allows.

One of the key themes of the novel is the problem of overpopulation and its control, which resurfaces throughout the story. It raises an intriguing discussion: how some brilliant minds with high IQs recognize the looming crisis and strive to solve it directly, while others view these efforts as a threat to humanity. This is a topic that readers will likely ponder after finishing the book.

Inferno is a great read for anyone looking for a fast-paced action thriller blended with history from the late Middle Ages and early Renaissance. A quote from the book that will stay with me is, “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.”

The next book on my list is "To kill A Mockingbird' by Harper Lee.

Review: "Mindset" by Dr. Carol Dweck

2024-10-05T12:35:00.006+05:30

I became interested in reading Mindset after watching an interview with Satya Nadella, where he highly praised the book. I have finally completed reading this amazing work by Dr. Carol Dweck. One thing I can say for sure is that what the author shares is the Truth. But the Truth is elusive—you feel like you know it, and in the next moment, you doubt it. The book explores the difference between a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset in various contexts, such as sports, corporations, schools, and parenting.

In a Fixed Mindset, the mind keeps repeating a fixed story and believes it. As a result, individuals don't venture into new avenues and become stuck in unsuccessful and monotonous lives.

In contrast, with a Growth Mindset, individuals believe that their intellect can be developed through small, consistent efforts every day. Though it may sound like another version of "positive thinking," the book outlines important steps such as goal setting, maintaining consistent effort, identifying negative sub-personalities, and helping them understand why success is possible. It also features stories of various business leaders, exceptional teachers, and brilliant parents.

One of the most important lessons I learned from this book is to keep learning for the love of learning and evolving, and to play for the love of the game—to keep improving on every attempt. Don’t play just to win, play to outperform yourself each time. Take on tougher challenges and keep moving forward to become better human beings. Don’t be afraid to receive feedback, especially harsh or critical feedback, as it often contains key insights to improve your game.

Though it took me around three months to finish this book, it was both motivational and insightful. It undoubtedly offers valuable insights into the Growth Mindset for anyone who reads this self-help book.

If you have also read this book, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

The next book I want to read is Inferno by Dan Brown. I'll keep you posted on my thoughts once I finish it. I’ve set an ambitious goal to complete this seemingly voluminous book by the end of October 2024.

Free echapter from novel "Once Again Beautiful And Pure'

2024-05-20T07:53:00.000+05:30

Thank you for you interest in the free chapter from the novel ‘Once Again Beautiful and Pure’ by Bharani Kumar Buyakar.

Here is your free chapter.

Loyalty

Give us the strength of heart

By which we can win over ourselves

Before winning over others

It was back in 1998, a time when the air was filled with the chant of morning prayers from nearby schools. I stood by one of these schools, basking in the warmth of the bright, sunny day. My supervisor, with a friendly pat on my back, reminded me, "You've got 30 more houses to visit."

With a nod and a smile, I went on my rounds, armed with a container of mosquito repellent. Entering each home, I checked their water storage systems, ensuring they were free from pests, and added repellents as needed. My supervisor and I made quite the team, completing our tasks in record time while sharing stories of our community and our lives.

Those were simpler times, when we believed anything was possible. Despite the challenges I faced in my upbringing—losing my father early, struggling through multiple attempts to pass my matriculation exams, and relying on my mother's meager pension and rent—earning a salary of Rs 2000/- felt like reaching the top of success.

My distant uncle, whom I affectionately called Baba, always emphasized the importance of education. When I couldn't excel academically but managed to secure this job, he was proud of me. His advice echoed in my ears—to hold onto this job, save diligently, and build a life from it. I followed his advice for many years.

As for my mother, she was both an angel and a schemer, striving to save every penny for our family. Nevertheless, when I think of her now, along with some minor incidents of horrors of my past, I also remember the loving days we three - I, my mother, and my sister had together. They waited for my return to have dinner, no matter how late I would have been. We used to watch silly comedy serials on TV and laugh together. Those were the innocent, burdenless days of independence - when you never relied on anyone outside your family for happiness. A day's cycle would go like wake up, eat, work, eat, laugh, sleep. This was the state for some years.

As time passed, life started to change. While I was working in the entomology department, I often chatted playfully with girls my age. But it was one special encounter that really caught my attention. Among all the joking around about their shy smiles and subtle hints, one person stood out. She stole my heart, and before I knew it, I was falling in love.

I was in love.

Smitha:

I still vividly recall the first moment I saw Smitha. At first, she mistook my glance for something else, shooting me a look of disdain, assuming I was following her. But that changed when she noticed my act of kindness, helping an elderly gentleman cross the street. Her smile lit up the entire day, and from then on, every interaction with her felt like a treasure.

Our conversations, no matter how simple, transformed ordinary days into extraordinary experiences. Even the darkest nights seemed to glow in her presence, turning mundane moments into magical memories. I'll never forget the joy of sharing a humble meal with her, feeling like we owned the world with just a few coins in our pockets. And the thought of not talking for even a few days during holidays made me restless.

Smitha's simplicity was her charm and positive demeanour. Despite our similar humble backgrounds, her radiant smile and optimistic outlook never failed to captivate me. In the midst of life's struggles, she was a ray of hope and happiness.

****

As our love story unfolded, a troubling headline caught my eye one rainy morning: Dengue cases on the rise, one life lost. The news sent a chill down our spines, especially for those of us working tirelessly in the department. All the workers were summoned to the municipality office.

The screeching tyres halted the car in front of our office. The local Corporator, Ayyub Khan, got down. He stormed into our office, looked at us angrily, and started shouting.

"You sons of bi**hes, what have you been doing? Why is the Dengue spreading? Do you know how bad it is for your department? "

One of the workers said in a meek voice, "Sir, it's the rainy season. We are doing everything according to our plan. People should also take some measures. …"

By the time the worker had finished his words, the Corporator slapped him hard on his cheeks.

"You mo**f**kers, don't talk back to me. Do what you can and stop from getting this spread further. Or I will dismiss your department immediately."

Saying this, he left.

This incident created a stir at the office. The entire team was upset. We were not upset about getting reprimanded by the boss, but we were upset with how he hurled abuses at us. Some of us wanted to quit our jobs immediately, but only then did we realize how 'poor' we were.

After this incident, Kishore, one of my colleagues, a good friend, and I were having tea in a small hotel. I remember Kishore cussing his life, 'What is this life? Anyone can come and sneer at us and threaten to fire from the job. It is always better to be born into a wealthy family or be associated with a rich family.' These lines had a particular impact on me subconsciously.

****

When I arrived home the next evening, an unusual silence hung in the air, thick with mystery. Confused by the atmosphere, I turned to my sister for answers. It was then that she revealed our maternal uncle, Manik, had paid us a visit. Known for his cunning ways and knack for manipulation, Manik always had an agenda behind his interactions. Little did I know, this visit would have a drastic impact on my life.

He met my mother with a proposal to get his last daughter married to me. My mother, who was reluctant to this proposal initially, thought about it for a while after some convincing points from my uncle, Manik. His convincing points were: 1) Your son's income is less, and marrying my daughter will give him some piece of my land and significant security for their future. 2) They have known each other since childhood. You also know my daughter from childhood. What else do you want?

We were having dinner at night, and the silence took the form of words from my mother. 'I don't have anyone except you two and my brother. Today, my brother came up with a proposal. He wants you and his daughter Malini to get married. He searched a lot and, in the end, found that you both would be a great match. As it will give you financial security and a great life, he wants you two to get married at any cost.'

I broke my silence after some time. 'What's the hurry for marriage? And how can you say that Malini is suitable for me? She is from a village, and I was born and raised in a city. Our ways are very different. It won't work out between us.'

My mother said, 'It's not like that. She is your uncle's daughter—a correct match for you. If we say no, your uncle said he'd never meet me again. Please don't be the reason for that.'

To avoid the topic, I just concluded with 'Let's see."

With a mind full of thoughts, I slept. I woke up with a fresh feeling as if no such discussion ever happened. My schedule resumed as usual. I went to meet Smitha. I couldn't speak to her clearly because of the debate at home. She sensed I wasn't talking freely and asked for the reason. I said, 'Nothing's like that; everything's good.' The thought of losing her was frightening.

No one knew about Smitha and our relationship except for a few of my colleagues.

After a week, my uncle, Manik, came home again. This time, I was also at home. He asked, 'What happened, sister? What happened, son? What did you guys think?'

Mother said, 'I already tried explaining it to Anand, but he won't listen.'

Uncle asked, 'Don't you like my daughter, Anand? Isn't she good?'

I explained with mustering some courage and patience, 'It's not like that. We are both born and raised in different ways; our thought processes are different. So, it won't work out between us. Please understand, uncle.'

Uncle persuaded with some stress in his tone, 'Why won't it work between you? Do you think you are from a rich family? Don't forget that you hardly earn just two thousand per month for your living. Both of your futures will be good if you guys marry.'

I couldn't retaliate with the same energy as him, so I said softly, 'Leave it, uncle; it won't work out between us.'

He finally ended the conversation with a threat, 'Take time and think properly about it. If you disagree, there won't be any relation left between your mother and me.'

Mother started to cry, saying, 'Don't do like that, son, don't be the reason for the separation between us. Please don't be a reason for separation between us.'

I shouted at her, 'Mom, stop it. I am saying I don't like Malini. It won't work between us. Why are you guys forcing me?'

The uncle left, giving an ultimatum of ten to fifteen days to decide between the wedding and losing the relationship.

The very premise of emotional blackmail is: If you don't agree to my demands, I will harm myself, which will, in turn, harm you too. I was subject to this pure emotional blackmail. When I think of those days now, I can understand how pressurizing these kinds of incidents can be for the youth. The surprising thing is that the aged, who only think logically, never understand the emotional pain and the lifelong impacts the young go through because of this blackmail.

I was very confused, though the problem was simple: Smitha or Malini?

The following day, there was one more death related to Dengue in the city. The Corporator came again and took us by a whirl of verbal abuse and threats of firing. I felt like he knew only this kind of brute motivation. Once again, it was a very demotivating episode for us.

The crises at home and the office made my thinking very unclear. And in those times, friends try to give some sane advice, which might actually be brutal. My friend Kishore and I were having tea at a small hotel.

He looked at me and asked, 'What happened, Anand? Don't overthink about it. This is all part and parcel of life. Just listen to it and leave it.'

I said, 'It's not only about the office.'

Kishore asked, 'What's the problem at home?'

I told about the thing that was tormenting me, 'My uncle wants to get his daughter married to me. He threatened that he would never meet my mother if I disagreed. And my mother is going crazy at home.'

Kishore asked, 'Do you mean the uncle who lives in the village and has some land to his name?'

I nodded a yes.

Kishore said, 'Then where is the problem? You should marry her.'

I said, 'The problem is I met a girl, Smitha. I have known her for some time. We have fallen in love with each other. She is a great person; I don't want to miss her.'

Kishore explained things from his point of view. 'You look at our lives. Is this called life? There is no respect for our job; the earnings are so low. Who would like to stay in this mess forever? You are getting a visa to get out of it. Love is not for the poor. You should agree with your mother and uncle.'

I said, 'I don't like Malini. I am in love with Smitha.'

Kishore asked, 'What's love? You are feeling good talking to a young girl. That's it. During their youth, everyone feels good talking to a person of the opposite sex who is attractive. And they name that feel-good feeling as love. Blinded by this feeling, they forget to think about the future. Anyway, the decision is yours.'

This was the most pessimistic advice he gave as a friend. He almost erased the feeling of love from the world and my mind for a few minutes.

After that, though I met Smitha, I wasn't paying attention to her. I couldn't share any of these things with her, fearing what she might think or how she might react.

I made a plan to escape this mess. I didn't return home for two days, thinking that it would make my mother understand how badly I didn't want this marriage to happen. I was staying at a friend's place. And on the third day, my sister called me at my office. She scolded me badly saying that the mother's health was not good and that she was suffering from pain in her chest. Though my mother was in the hospital, I didn't know how much of this pain episode was true. I returned to her. Life was turning tragic with each passing day. The emotional blackmail continued.

When I met her in the hospital, my mother started to cry, 'Why are you doing this? I am getting pain in the chest? I think I am going to die. Why are you not listening to me?' I couldn't say anything.

Manik uncle's phone calls continued to inquire about my decision. Elders think controlling a youth is akin to putting reins on a bull. Both resist initially, but we can control them for life once it is done.

After a few days, I met my educated uncle, Baba, who always guided me during difficult times. I explained everything to him. He thought for a while and asked, 'What's the girl's caste?'

When I told him it was different from ours, he said, 'Kulam paadaalu tala meeda… Caste's footwear should always be over our head.' This was his point of view. It was as if the entire universe was turning against me. But I persuaded him by telling him how important Smitha was to me and my lack of interest in marrying Malini.

He finally agreed to help me by speaking to my mother and maternal uncle. He also promised that he wouldn't say anything about Smitha immediately. I was relieved, thinking that this is what differentiates the educated from the uneducated. The educated always listen, understand, and even change opinions based on reasoning; the uneducated always rant about what they want.

The next few days were a bit relieving as Baba took the pain to explain things to my mother and crazy maternal uncle. They had massive respect for Baba, as he was working as a high school principal. My mother couldn't refuse anything he said. My maternal uncle asked us all to come home to discuss it once before calling it off. Baba and I thought discussions brought things to a fair agreement. We agreed to that discussion.

My mother, sister, Baba, and a few more relatives and I booked a jeep to travel to the village. I was excited at the thought that all of this would end soon.

After reaching and settling down in the front room of Manik uncle's home, Malini served us some tea and snacks. That was a plan by Manik uncle so that everyone could get a good look at her. All the members of Manik uncle's family behaved very well. Baba, Manik uncle, and my mother had a general talk and slowly approached the primary discussion. Baba was good at convincing them by telling them why it was not good. He gave reasons like unhealthy kids born due to consanguineous marriage with some examples where it really happened. Also, marriage should be based on two people's mutual likes and respect; we can't force it, and it won't be good in the long future. They also received his talk respectfully, occasionally making the discussion funny and lighter. And finally, the meeting came to an end. We started to leave.

Our giant four-wheeler, Tavera, slowly moved out of the narrow lane in front of my Uncle's house in his village. After driving for one or two streets, I realized I had forgotten my wallet in my uncle's house, one of the worst things that could happen to a prospective groom! As it would be a problem to turn the vehicle and go all the way to my uncle's home, I said I would bring it as I was not afraid of my Uncle anymore; this was stupid courage. I couldn't take anyone with me as all the elderly people just came to be spectators; they were full of useless relatives listening to the music in the vehicle except Baba.

I walked into the home again. Manik uncle was still there. I took my wallet. I was about to leave. He asked me to wait for a moment and sit with him. As things were clear, I didn't feel anything wrong sitting with him.

His talk was very sweet this time. 'You see, son, how happy this gathering was. Did you see how happy your mother was? That's the power of good and healthy relationships. I really don't know even now why you refuse to marry my daughter. 'Is she not good?' he asked.

I said, 'There is nothing like that. Malini is good, but we are not a good match for each other.'

He asked, 'If she is good, why are you rejecting her?' He continued his persuasion, 'I will give you my daughter. I will give you a good amount of money as a dowry. Tell me how much you want. Two lakhs or three lakhs? I will also write a small piece of land in your name.'

I said, 'It's not like that uncle.'

He continued, 'Wealthless life is a respectless life. Why do you want to live in difficulty when I am offering you a shortcut to happiness?'

I thought about the cussing Kishor, 'You look at our lives. Is this called life? There is no respect for our job; the earnings are so low. Who would like to stay in this mess forever? You are getting a visa to get out of it. Love is not for the poor. You should agree with your mother and uncle.'

I felt Kishore and my Uncle were both correct, and I was acting foolishly by rejecting this proposal. My uncle almost hypnotized me under the spell of persuasion.

Uncle Manik continued, 'I don't want you to miss a grand opportunity. As your uncle, I want you to be happy, secure, and financially strong. Just say yes to this. Things will change amazingly for good. '

I couldn't say anything this time. Greed is a powerful hypnotizer, and this time, my uncle had me engulfed in it.

'Don't think about anything else. I will take care of everything. Just say yes', Manik uncle almost convinced me.

I didn't say anything. The question in my mind was no more 'Smitha or Malini?'; it got changed to 'Smitha or Money?'. A firm NO got hidden somewhere deep inside me and didn't erupt out. It just stayed there. Neither a strong YES came, but silence is treated as half acceptance. Manik uncle was quick to approve my silence as a yes. He called the Jeep full of my people back, saying this news. He sent his sons to buy a new saree for my would-be.

In a few minutes, the atmosphere in the home changed to all smiles, laughter, and celebration. The newly ignited greed inside me let everything happen. It hid its motive of quick money deep inside me and painted it with a superficial layer of thoughts such as 'look at all the happy faces, do you want to make them suffer again?', 'You know Malini from childhood. What's her mistake in this?', 'Smitha will understand my situation and will forgive me.'

So I got betrothed to Malini. Baba said nothing about my decision; I thought he left it up to me. He must have felt that I had realized the importance of family and relatives and changed my mind.

From here, things moved quite quickly. The wedding date was also fixed, just a month away.

We returned home. Being betrothed was a big thing in those days, especially for the girl's family. Everyone in the community, like friends and relatives, knew that Malini and I got engaged. Moving back will shatter her family's name. I understood that I had reached a point of not moving back.

The only thing left was telling Smitha about my decision. One of the most difficult things is breaking someone's heart by telling a bitter truth they thought would never happen. I was scared to face Smitha. But I mustered the courage to meet her and tell things as they were so I could at least give her a fair send-off. She had no role in any of these things. Only the innocent become the scapegoats.

After a couple of days, I met Smitha. We were sitting in the bakery, our regular spot. By looking at me, she could sense that I was disturbed. She asked me what was bothering me. She wasn't worried much because she trusted me so much that I wouldn't do anything stupid with her.

Tension hung heavy in the air, then I broke the suffocating silence, 'My mother has been emotionally blackmailing me by saying that she would hurt herself if I don't marry her brother's daughter. This has been going on for months now. I tried to explain to her as much as possible, but she won't listen. Recently, she was admitted to the hospital due to pain in her chest. I don't know what to do. Life has been like hell for me.'

Smitha's eyes widened in shock, fear etching lines of worry across her face. 'Anand, I am really sorry for your mother. But this came as a surprise for me. Why haven't you told me about it all these days? Do you want me to speak to her and explain… and explain how much we love each other?'

'She is stubborn. She won't listen to anyone. She is being blackmailed by her brother that if this marriage doesn't happen, their relationship will come to an end, and they will never speak to each other. It went into a huge fight, and finally, all my family, extended family, and relatives have been pressing me to accept it. It has gone too far now.' I said.

'Do you like your uncle's daughter?' Smitha asked straightly, her face about to turn to tears.

'She is a good person as far as I know. But I don't like her.', I said.

'Then, if you don't like her, why don't you say no to her and explain patiently to everyone.' She said with tears in her eyes.

'I have been doing that. But things are not coming to an end; they are repeating in the same pattern. My mother's health is deteriorating each day because of this stressful situation. I am worried that if something happens to her for real, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life.' I said.

Smitha was silent for a few moments.

Then she asked, 'What do you want to do? What will make you happy? What do you want me to do to keep you happy?'

I was silent for some time.

'Things have gone too far. My entire family wants me to get married to Malini. They are already speaking about the dates. I am worried about my mother.' I felt like my greed was making me talk in an automatic mode.

'Still, it doesn't answer my question. Tell me, what do you want to do now?' Smitha asked with a bit of stress.

'I am not sure. You tell me, Smitha, what should I do in this situation after things come to a point where there is no turning back?' I said, greed was also making me diplomatic.

'I don't know. I am not sure about any of these things. But I know one thing for sure. I want you to always be happy. If you have to leave me for that, I am okay with it. I will handle it myself. I will be sad for some days, but I will be okay later,' she cried.

'I don't want you to worry anymore because I am here to understand your situation. Your mother's health is really important. You go ahead and marry Malini, that’s her name, right? But make sure that you are always happy.', Smitha said; I think love made her talk. Only the people who love can make sacrifices without any selfishness.

I was silent. I didn't say anything to comfort her, which was a message that I was helpless.

'So, is this our last meeting?' she asked with tears in her eyes.

I was silently looking at her. We almost forgot that we were in the small bakery, the same bakery where we had met for the first time, and we had some delicious food with the little money we had, and we felt on top of the world.

She got up, kissed my cheek, and said, 'Be happy, Anand.' She walked away crying, never to be seen again.

I sat for some time. I felt like a killer who had just killed the heart of an honest lover.

I met Kishore and talked about everything. He was sad and happy, too, and he thought I made a wise decision.

I could come out of Smitha's thoughts in a couple of days. I felt a little relieved as things were clear.

Soon, the wedding happened. I married Malini. The same Malini who is your mother, dear Neil.

I tried my best to mingle with Malini. But there was some kind of barrier between us. We never appreciated each other. We never liked each other. She used to say sharply, 'Why did you marry me if you didn't like me?' I never told her about Smitha. Somehow, the life I had chosen was going on.

Slowly, there were a few more add-ons. To my surprise, Malini could not mingle with her aunt, my mother. They had arguments over every small thing. My sister had problems with both my wife and mother. Somehow, the equation among all three was not correct. I was at the centre of an incomplete triangle; they were the three vertices that would never meet.

I was young and foolish then. After letting a breakup tear me apart, it was the family's turn. I didn't understand how much all this was shattering my peace of life. I was unable to control anyone in the family; I was unable to control myself, too.

I would shout for every slight reason. My wife and my mother would do the same. My sister will keep quiet. She will watch everything and do something that will make us all shout at each other again. It went on in circles.

All these impacted my work, too. I was always late and not focusing on my work. I told Kishore about these things. He said, 'You have seen only the first month; there is much more to see, my friend. This is common in everyone's life. Get used to it.' I felt like kicking him for all the advice he had given.

Malini was missing something in me and my family. We could never understand what it was. For the most minor things, she would call her father and brothers and tell them we were not treating her well. They would come often to talk about it. Sometimes, my brothers-in-law held my collar and threatened to beat me. It all looked so bad to me.

I almost hated my life every day.

Sometimes, I thought about Smitha. Would things have been the same if she were in Malini's place? She always kept me at the centre of her universe and planned things. Did I let the blessing slip away only to embrace a curse? I was really disturbed.

The hell continued.

During our discussions regarding Malini's proposal from my uncle, Baba used to say, 'It's a bitter truth. When a man and a woman stay in a single room for two or three months, they will eventually have children in a year, whether they love each other or not.' His saying was right. Malini gave birth to you. We became parents almost in a year. Looking at you was the most joyful moment of my life. Your innocent and cute smiles gave me a new energy. However, this energy was soon dissipated by the negative energies at home.

After a couple of days, with the arrival of one particular bad news, the hell turned into absolute hell.

One evening, I met Kishore. Kishore looked dull, too. I told him about how my life would have been if Smitha had been there. This time, he understood my words to some extent. He didn't have any more vague answers. This time, he looked serious. I asked him what it was.

He handed over a letter to me. 'Smitha's sister gave this letter to me to hand over to you. Smitha is dead', he said.

I couldn't understand any of it. I felt like some big bell was ringing in my ears. 'What are you talking about?' I demanded.

'Please read the letter,' he said sadly and walked away.

It was an evening. I was standing near a bus stop. I opened the letter. It read something like this.

Hi Anand,

I hope you are happy. I am not angry at you at all. You are a good person. I understand your situation. The quarrels at your home and the struggles in your life made you take this decision. And I respect your decision. You should always be happy.

The best experience of my life is meeting you. All our meetings reside in my mind like beautiful memories.

But there is a small problem at my end. I can't imagine anyone in your place, and I can't connect to anyone anymore like I did with you.

You can live without me, but for me, every second without you or without your thoughts is just lifelessness. So, I have taken this decision to end my life – a life that doesn't exist anymore.

I am writing this letter not to make you feel guilty but to say that you are in no way responsible for it.

I just want you to stay happy with whatever life you have chosen in your life.

Lots of love,

Smitha

I was totally lost by the end of the letter. It was such deeply shocking news that it immediately shattered me internally. I was unable to feel myself. The mind, possessed by love while in a relationship with Smitha, was filled with greed while marrying Malini. Now, the same mind was filled with deep guilt. Only guilt was more powerful and destructive. And it was severely hurting me.

In such pain, I couldn't find any meaning in my life, and I didn't understand how to deal with it. I just walked a long way—almost two days—and had nothing. I sat near temples, thinking sadly but not coming to any conclusions.

Kishore kept an eye on me, but he didn't disturb me. He thought grieving could slowly subside the pain caused by the grief. When my family members called, he managed them by saying I am with friends and colleagues.

Finally, I sat near a temple for one whole night. The night slowly transformed into a day when the stars said goodbye. It made little difference. Everything was the same; only light came and went, and came again. This morning, slowly, I heard the prayers from a school.

Give us the strength of heart

By which we can win over ourselves

Before winning over others

People say that we listen to the music of a song when we are happy, and we pay attention to the lyrics when we are sad. I was listening to the lyrics of the song. I was thinking about its deeper meaning. I desperately needed strength of heart to live. I was lost in thoughts, and I was asking God to give me more strength. I used to hear the same song with a feeling of independence before meeting Smitha. I used to enjoy the song's rhythm and music then. I thought of regaining that fresh feeling again, but the thought of Smitha's end was still hurting me. I didn't understand how to rise again.

Trying to comfort my heavy heart, I helped move my footsteps towards home. When I reached home, I saw my mother, then Malini, then my sister. As I went further, I saw you; you were trying to crawl and stand with the support of a wall.

In those darkest times, I felt like you were the only source radiating life at me. You smiled at me. I felt like a new life sprang out of me. I hugged you immediately. I held you like that for some time and cried my heart out. I let the tears melt the guilt in my heart. I felt like the power that can absolve my sins was hidden only in your smile. You hugged me warmly in your tender arms. Might be the pure hearts forgive and cleanse the hearts of the sinners in no time. You were emanating new life into me. That day, I was alive because of you. That day, I was born again fresh. Things finally became clear again.

****

I contemplated for a few days about what went wrong in my life. I understood that I let go of Smitha, who loved me for the greed of money. The very foundation of my new life with Malini was wrong. Smitha loved me; she was loyal to me. Loyalty will not let you breathe without the person you love the most.

The past cannot be changed. But I thought I couldn't live by blaming myself forever. So I made my bitter experience into a lesson called 'Loyalty.'

Loving someone means being loyal to someone. It means that one will always be there for that person by keeping one's self-interests aside. I was not loyal to Smitha as I was working on my selfish interests of money, whereas Smitha was loyal to me; she always thought of my happiness and comfort, though it was hurting her. Selfless love is loyalty, the greatest thing anyone can possess for the ones they love.

Neelakantha, when you were less than a year old, I firmly resolved in my heart that you are the guiding compass in my life, and you are my destination, too. My sole ambition was to look after you wholeheartedly, love you, and not give up on that love for anything else. To keep you happy, I will do anything; I will even move the mountains, which I did eventually. To give the best of the things to you was my goal. You gave clarity to my life and redefined it. I decided to always love and always be loyal to you.

_________________________________

As I flipped through my father's book, memories flooded back, making me feel like a kid again. Even though I'm all grown up now, reading about his life was like going on an exciting adventure back in time.

Learning about Smitha, Dad's first love, was eye-opening. It showed me that he had faced his fair share of challenges. I couldn't help but admire how he had dealt with them and come out stronger.

Realizing that Dad cared deeply for me filled me with warmth. It reminded me of the special connection we shared, even though he wasn't always around.

Thinking back to my childhood, I remembered Dad as my hero. Those memories are still so vivid and colorful, like beautiful paintings waiting to be hung on a wall. His love and sacrifices have shaped my life, but I still wonder why he left.

While reflecting on Dad's words, thoughts of Emma and our baby-to-be crossed my mind. I reached out to her for our decision about aborting, but her response left me feeling uncertain, just like I was.

Despite feeling lonely at times, Dad's stories breathed new life into me. With a newfound energy, I turned the page, eager to find the glimmer of ‘Hope’ that lay ahead.

Enjoying the novel? Please purchase the ebook from amazon by clicking the below link.

https://amzn.in/d/8wuLPRm

email the author mail@bharanikumarbuyakar.com for further details.

Nurturing Relationships: A Comprehensive Guide

2024-04-15T06:04:00.001+05:30

Building and maintaining positive relationships is an essential aspect of leading a fulfilling life. Whether it's the relationship we have with ourselves or with others, investing time and effort into nurturing these connections pays off in countless ways. Here's a breakdown of effective strategies to foster healthy relationships, both with ourselves and with those around us.

1) Ways to Maintain a Positive Relationship with Yourself:

a) Self-Care: Prioritize taking care of yourself by engaging in activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This could include indulging in hobbies, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking time for relaxation.

b) Good Food: Fuel your body with nourishing foods that provide energy and support overall health. A balanced diet plays a crucial role in maintaining both physical and mental wellness.

c) Healthy Sleep: Ensure you get enough quality sleep each night to rejuvenate your body and mind. Establishing a bedtime routine and creating a comfortable sleep environment can significantly enhance your sleep quality.

d) Exercise: Incorporate regular physical activity into your routine to boost mood, increase energy levels, and reduce stress. Find activities that you enjoy and make them a consistent part of your lifestyle.

e) Simple To-Do List: Break tasks down into manageable steps and create a to-do list to stay organized and focused. Prioritize tasks based on their importance and tackle them one at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

f) Positive Self-Talk: Cultivate a mindset of self-compassion and encouragement. Replace self-criticism with affirmations and supportive self-talk to build confidence and resilience.

2) Ways to Maintain a Positive Relationship with Others:

a) Trust: Foster trust in your relationships by being reliable, honest, and consistent. Trust forms the foundation of strong connections and allows for open communication and vulnerability.

b) Empathy: Practice empathy by seeking to understand others' perspectives and emotions. Show compassion and support, even in difficult situations, to strengthen your bonds with those around you.

c) Patience: Be patient with others and with yourself, recognizing that relationships take time to develop and grow. Allow space for misunderstandings and conflicts to be resolved with patience and understanding.

d) Open-mindedness: Embrace diversity and different viewpoints, and approach interactions with an open mind. Be willing to learn from others and adapt your perspective as you gain new insights.

3) Cutting off Unwanted Weeds:

a) Gossip: Refrain from participating in gossip or spreading rumors about others. Engaging in gossip can harm relationships and erode trust, leading to negativity and resentment.

b) Partiality Mindset: Treat everyone with fairness and equality, avoiding favoritism or bias. A partiality mindset can breed resentment and division, undermining the strength of your relationships.

c) Negative Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself, replacing them with positive affirmations and self-compassion. Negative self-talk can undermine self-esteem and hinder personal growth.

In conclusion, nurturing positive relationships requires intentional effort and commitment. By prioritizing self-care, fostering trust and empathy in our interactions with others, and eliminating negative influences, we can cultivate deeper connections and lead more fulfilling lives. Remember, the quality of our relationships ultimately shapes the quality of our lives, so invest in them wisely.

Read more abour about Relationships here: https://shorturl.at/fhvBY

Top Audiobooks to Explore on Everand

2024-03-03T07:13:00.001+05:30

Audiobooks have emerged as a saving grace for book lovers in the age of multitasking and constant motion. Whether you're commuting, exercising, or simply relaxing at home, audiobooks offer an immersive literary experience that fits seamlessly into your lifestyle. Everand, with its vast library of audiobooks, stands out as a treasure trove waiting to be explored. Here's a curated list across various genres to enrich your listening journey:

Religious Audiobooks:

Why should we read Religious books? Because these are the books the people are fighting with each other for. The fights are meaningless if we don't know what is inside them. Also, logically, it makes sense to read about the existence of God because God is treated as an omnipotent, omnipervasive, timeless, and eternal entity. It becomes a rational mind's imperative to research this existence to come to a proper conclusion. Following are some exciting audiobooks about religion in Everand.

"The Bhagavad Gita" by Jack Hawley: The beauty of this audiobook is removing the additional noise from the conversation between Lord Krishna and Arjuna. Geetha, only the conversation between God and Human beings, is intelligently translated into English. Additionally, the commentary is eliminated, allowing the reader to understand God's words uniquely.
"The Bible" narrated by various artists: Delve into the sacred scriptures and listen to the timeless stories, teachings, and wisdom found within the Bible. Whether you seek spiritual guidance or historical insights, this audiobook provides a comprehensive experience.
"The Qur'an" narrated by multiple reciters: Experience the beauty and power of Islam's holy book through skilled recitations. Immerse yourself in the divine verses and better understand the Islamic faith and tradition.

2. Long Pending Novels List:

"1984" by George Orwell, narrated by Hugh Kermode: 1984 is a seminal work of dystopian fiction that continues to captivate audiences with its chilling portrayal of a totalitarian regime. In the app Everand, experiencing this masterpiece through audiobook format offers a unique immersion into Orwell's world. With its thought-provoking narrative and themes of government surveillance, propaganda, and individual freedom, "1984" is an audiobook that resonates profoundly with listeners, prompting reflection on contemporary society and the power structures that govern it.
"The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde, narrated by Greg Wise: This novel emerges as an enthralling audiobook experience, captivating listeners with its exquisite prose and compelling narrative. Wilde's exploration of vanity, morality, and the pursuit of beauty takes on new life through the immersive medium of audio, allowing audiences to be transported to the decadent world of Victorian England. As the story of Dorian Gray's descent into darkness unfolds through rich narration and vivid descriptions, listeners are drawn into a mesmerizing tale of temptation and consequence.
"Les Misérables" by Victor Hugo, narrated by Bill Homewood: This timeless classic is a monumental audiobook experience, transporting listeners into 19th-century France with Victor Hugo's sweeping tale of redemption, love, and justice. Through powerful narration and dynamic character portrayals, every moment of this epic saga unfolds with gripping intensity, offering profound insights into the human condition. The audiobook rendition invites listeners to experience the triumphs and tribulations of its iconic cast in an intimate and immersive way. Whether revisiting this classic tale or discovering it for the first time, "Les Misérables" in the Everand app promises an unforgettable literary journey that resonates deeply.
"War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy, narrated by Neville Jason: Tackle this literary masterpiece that has been on your reading list for ages. With its epic scope and rich character development, Tolstoy's classic comes to life through the captivating narration, making it a compelling listen.
"Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace, narrated by Sean Pratt: Dive into the intricate world of Wallace's magnum opus, renowned for its complexity and depth. Let the skilled narration guide you through this challenging yet rewarding journey of addiction, entertainment, and society.

3. Self-Help Audiobooks:

"As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen, narrated by Brian Holsopple: 'As a Man Thinketh' is a transformative audiobook that explores the power of thought and its impact on one's life. James Allen's timeless wisdom guides listeners to harness the potential of their minds, fostering personal growth, success, and fulfillment.
"Byways of Blessedness" by James Allen, narrated by Mia Wilson: 'Byways of Blessedness' offers an enriching audiobook experience, guiding listeners on a journey towards inner peace and fulfillment. James Allen's profound insights illuminate the path to happiness, virtue, and spiritual growth, inspiring listeners to cultivate a life of purpose and contentment.
"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, narrated by Eckhart Tolle: Discover the transformative power of living in the present moment with this spiritual guide. Tolle's soothing voice and profound insights offer practical wisdom for achieving inner peace and personal growth.
"Atomic Habits" by James Clear, narrated by James Clear: Learn how to build good habits and break bad ones with Clear's actionable advice. His engaging narration, coupled with scientific research, provides a roadmap for creating lasting change in your life.
"Life is What You Make It" by Ernest Holmes, narrated by Earnest Holmes: 'Life is What You Make It' is a transformative audiobook that empowers listeners to take control of their destinies. Holmes' timeless teachings on the power of thought and intentionality inspire personal growth, resilience, and the realization of one's true potential.
"Breaking the Cycle" by George N. Collins, narrated by Sean Pratt: This is a vital audiobook offering guidance and support for individuals struggling with sex addiction and porn obsession. Collins' compassionate approach provides practical tools and insights to break free from shame and destructive patterns, fostering healing and empowerment.

4. Hindi Stories:

"गोदान" (Godan) by Munshi Premchand, narrated by multiple artists: Explore the rich tapestry of Indian literature with this timeless classic by Munshi Premchand. Set in rural India, the story delves into themes of social injustice, morality, and the human condition, offering profound insights through its vivid storytelling.
"Idgah" by Munshi Premchand: 'Idgah'is a poignant audiobook that delves into themes of innocence, poverty, and compassion. Through the story of Hamid's simple yet profound Eid celebration, Premchand masterfully captures the essence of childhood wonder and the resilience of the human spirit.
"सत्यार्थ प्रकाश" (Satyarth Prakash) by Swami Dayanand Saraswati, narrated by various artists: Delve into the teachings of Swami Dayanand Saraswati, a key figure in the Indian Renaissance. This audiobook presents his seminal work, enlightening listeners with his perspectives on spirituality, society, and Vedic philosophy.

With Everand's diverse selection of audiobooks, there's something for every listener to enjoy and explore. So, plug in your headphones, embark on a literary adventure, and let the captivating narrations transport you to new worlds of imagination and knowledge. Happy listening!

You can get the first 60 days free on Everand using the link below.

Click here to avail 60 days free on Everand

Understanding Why Children Cry When They Don't Get What They Want

2024-03-02T12:39:00.002+05:30

As parents, witnessing our children's tears can tug at our heartstrings. Often, these tears are a response to not getting what they want. But why do children cry in these situations, and how can we best care for them while helping them navigate their emotions?

The Psychology Behind Children's Tears

Children cry when they don't get what they want for a variety of psychological reasons:

Emotional Expression: Crying is a natural way for children to express their emotions, including frustration, disappointment, or sadness.

Communication: For young children, crying is their primary means of communication. It's their way of expressing their needs and desires when they don't have the words to articulate them verbally.
Sense of Control: When children are denied something they desire, it can challenge their sense of control and autonomy, leading to emotional distress.
Desire for Validation: Children seek validation from their caregivers. When they don't get what they want, they may cry in hopes of eliciting a sympathetic response or having their desires acknowledged.

Tips for Caring for Crying Children

Validate Their Feelings: Let your child know that it's okay to feel disappointed or upset. Validate their emotions by saying, "I understand that you're upset because you didn't get what you wanted."
Provide Comfort: Offer physical comfort through hugs, cuddles, or holding their hand. Physical touch can help soothe a distressed child and make them feel safe and secure.
Encourage Verbal Expression: Encourage your child to verbalize their feelings by asking open-ended questions like, "Can you tell me why you're feeling sad?" This helps them develop their emotional vocabulary and promotes healthy emotional expression.
Set Limits with Empathy: While it's important to empathize with your child's emotions, it's also crucial to set limits. Explain calmly why they can't have what they want and offer alternative solutions or distractions.
Teach Coping Strategies: Help your child develop coping strategies to deal with disappointment or frustration. This could include deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or engaging in a favorite activity to distract themselves.
Be Consistent: Consistency is key in parenting. Set clear expectations and boundaries, and follow through with consequences when necessary. This helps children feel secure and understand the importance of respecting limits.

By understanding the psychological reasons behind children's tears and implementing these tips for caring for crying children, parents can create a supportive environment where their children feel heard, understood, and emotionally nurtured.

A Snake's Adventure in Human World

2018-09-14T20:49:00.000+05:30

A Snake's Adventure in Human World

(Short Story)

I want to share a story that happened to me a few days back.

It was a beautiful evening. I wanted to enjoy the weather and have a yummy meal. My lazy body wasn’t ready to move, so I started slowly. I could see the big water drops of the rainy season on the green grass, tall trees, and lush green fields.

This rainy season was different. I felt something was missing. As I moved out of the trees near my home, abundant sunlight obstructed my view. I wore my goggles. Let me tell you, I am not used to this much sunlight. It was too much for me. I didn’t understand the reason for so much sunlight. Then, I understood that many trees were not there. I didn’t know where they had gone. It was just an empty land as far as my little eyes could see.

Suddenly, a yummy meal started inviting me. It was moving away from me, so I chased it. I chased it through the trees, through the fields, through the grass, and the iron gates. Finally, I caught it, and it was in my mouth. While enjoying this tasty creature, I realized I had entered a new place where human beings lived. I was in shock, and my heart was pounding in fear.

Three human beings saw me. They were shouting and moving in random directions. One human held her hands together closed her eyes and chanted something. I didn’t understand what she was trying to do. I was afraid; I spitted my food out and turned back to rush away. Terrified, I hid under a carpet.

The evening was turning into night. And it was growing darker now.

These human beings were making some gestures to each other. I understood that they were still discussing me as they often pointed at me. I felt like running out of the gate but was very afraid.

One more human being came near the carpet and started to beat it with a stick. I came out quickly and tried to slither away as fast as I could. He was chasing me with the stick, and I didn’t want the beating of it.

The fuel of the fear and the will to live made me outrun that human being. I went into a deep hole and hid in it. Finally, it was time for rest. I relaxed. Some moments passed. I thought that the danger was gone.

But a stick coming from the hole's opening was touching my body. It was human beings again. They were checking if I was still there. I did not make any sound or any movement. I was terrified again. After some time, some water was released into the hole. I was wet. I realized that human beings are stingy creatures; they won’t leave.

I was waiting for the night to grow darker totally so that I could slowly make my way. So I waited patiently. Suddenly, it was totally dark and very silent. I couldn’t sense any vibrations of human beings now. I felt that this was the time to go home. I couldn’t sense any danger now. I moved out of the hole and started my journey.

Suddenly, there were light and thumping vibrations in the ground. It was human beings. One human was standing behind me. He held me by my tail and lifted me. I was trying to run away, but I couldn’t. I felt that my life was over.

I didn’t know what would happen to me. I tried to frighten them by flicking my tongue and by rearing up my body to strike. Nothing was working. Then, that human being put me inside a bottle. I went in, readjusted my body, and settled inside it.

All humans came near to have a look at me. I was afraid and angry at them. After all, what mistake had I made? Having dinner in their place?

The bottle I was in was kept in a sack. It was dark. I felt that my life was over. I was moving somewhere. I did not understand where. I just relaxed for death to come and take me.

This travel lasted for an hour. I didn’t know that the journey to death would take so long. It was boring. Since these were the last moments, naturally, I recollected all the moments of my life, of how I enjoyed with my family and friends, of how I enjoyed swimming in waters and hiding in stones during the summer. My heart longed for a few more years of life.

The movement stopped. I thought that the last minute had come. I closed my eyes. I felt my spirit moving out of the body. I was feeling lighter. I sneakily opened my eyes to see how this happened. I saw a beautiful moon and bright stars. I thought I was in paradise. Later, I realized that I was still in the bottle.

I turned back to see the human being who had put me in the bottle. He opened the bottle and kept it on the ground. He was not afraid of me.

I came out of the bottle, reared up my body, and looked at him in his eyes. We were two giants facing each other. I thought an epic battle was about to begin, but I couldn’t sense any danger from him. He had kind eyes. I felt a sense of peace and even a strange connection with the human who had set me free. Relieved and happy, I moved back into the jungle. The human smiled.

From this story, I realized that it is better to stay away from stingy human creatures. It is better to enjoy the day to the fullest as we never know when our death bell will ring. The tiny delicacies could lead you into danger if you are unaware of your surroundings. And also that not all human beings are as evil as I think.

Now, I live in my new home. The only thing that confuses me even today is where the trees went on that day near my old house.

More about Education!

2013-01-13T23:32:00.000+05:30

There was this discussion that takes place between Pandavas and their uncle Vidura which was highlighted in the book "The System Of Education In Mahabharata" written by Dr. Mallesudu Yadav. And this fascinating discussion revolves around the four goals of education viz..Dharma-Artha-Kama-Moksha which are thoroughly emphasized in the epic of Mahabharata. This discussion is shared here as it is fascinating and gives a profound meaning about the goals of education.

About the Discussion:

Once it so happens that the mighty Pandavas and their adored uncle Vidura, who was the master of worldly affairs (but belonging to suta caste and so had nothing to do with the royal kingdom) sit together and fall into the discussion of which goal of education is more important among the four -Dharma(Rules) or Artha(Money) or Kama(Desire) or Moksha(Liberation).

The wise Vidura initiates the discussion declaring that "liberation(Moksha)" is the important of all the four goals. All the rules that we learn, all the money that we earn and all the desires that we have should be shunned to attain the liberation. Everything ends up in liberation. So,liberation is the most important of all.

While the lotus eyed Nakulas (as described in the book) were silent, Arjuna expressed his opinion that Wealth (Artha)is the most important of all. Worrier and conqueror as he was he tells that with money we can do anything. We can own this world with money. Everyone loves and respects us when we have Wealth. People will flock around us like bees over honey. We'll never have to fear our enemies as we can easily win over them by luring their subordinates or by upgrading our strength. With wealth around us we stay independent and free. So, he says, Wealth (artha) is the most important of all the four goals of education.

While Arjuna's stance was like this, the mighty Bheema put forth his opinion saying that Desire (Kama) is the important of all. Real action springs from desire. If one wants to win over this world he should have am immense desire to win. If one wants to learn something new or do something great he should have that passion inside him. That passion ignites him and moves him towards the achievement or realization of his dreams. Even to get salvation one should have desire. Hence, he says that desire(kama) is the important of all the goals.

Now it was the turn of their elder brother Yudhistara and it was very easy for him to choose the most important goal. He went with Dharma(Rules) saying that, undoubtedly dharma is the most important of all the goals. If we don't know why we are doing something there is a very clear chance that we may fall as a victim to the deadly thing called confusion. Life may become meaningless. We may not know why we are earning. We may not know why we are desiring something. We may not know why should we get salvation (which may also mean dying peacefully). Dharma teaches you about what to desire, what to earn and how to get salvation. In short, he was telling this "know the rules and play the game". Isn't education the one which frees us from the clutches of ignorance, makes life worthwhile and finally takes us to salvation? Education should teach us the most basic things.

And exactly there ends the discussion. True that education is one of the beautiful things that ever happens to a person and it is felt like the above discussion has given a nice meaning to the word "Education" and that is why it is shared.

P.S. While care has been taken to convey the exact meaning of the discussion, any errors that might be found may be brought to the notice of the blogger for correction. Also the blog is in no way a medium for religious propagation and indeed it should be noticed that the central theme of the blog is about the important goals of education.

Top 30 sentences I found in 2012

2013-01-01T23:34:00.000+05:30

Top 30 sentences I found in 2012

Words, Words, Words! ~Hamlet, Shakespeare

Even the most of our deepest thoughts are thought through the medium of words. And when a bunch of good words combine together - it has really a magical effect. 2012 has been a pretty wordy year for me. Words that got combined by different authors to drench us in the river of meaning. Here is my collection of beautiful top30 sentences written by awesome people.

1.Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. - Carlyle

2.Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means. – Robert Louis Stevenson

3.He was always with her. She found him in the cadence of a stranger’s voice, the sudden laughter on a quiet street, a phrase, a scent, a song. He was everywhere. – Sidney Sheldon

4.To know all is to forgive all. – Dale Carnegie

5.I Wish I could be your tear drops for what more could anyone ask than to be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, lived on your cheeks and died on your lips. –Anonymous lover

6.When a man lives with the God his voice shall be as sweet as the murmur of the brook or the rustle of the corn. – Emerson

7.Thinking is work. It takes energy. Thinking requires time, and patience, and broad information, and clear-headedness. – Dale Carnegie

8.Yah Vaatsalya na tha, keval daya thi. Maatru-prem mein kathorta hoti thi, lekin mrudulta se mili huyi. Iss prem mein karuna thi, par wah kathorta nahi thi jo aatmeeyta ka gupt sandesh hain. – Premchand

9.Happy is the man who has found his work. – Carlyle

10.“Sancho, the pleasure is not in the inn when we reach there; it is now when we are on the road.” – Don Quixote

11.“A man who calls his kinsmen to feast doesn’t do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together in a moonlit village around, it is not because of the moon. Everyman can see it from his own compound. We come together because it is good for the kinsmen to do so…I fear you young people don’t understand how strong is the bond of kinship. A culture that emphasizes solely the yang values is bound to end up with many dangling bodies like that of Okwonkwo” - Novel Name: Things fall apart. Author: Chinua Achebe

12.Deprive the average man of his lie and you have robbed him of his happiness as well. – Rellin Movel

13.Putting a glass of milk in the hands of every child may be much more inspiring vision to work for than to become the largest petro-chemicals producer with the highest profit margin. – S.Manikutty and S.P. Singh

14.My heart is full of courage, not of anger. – Joan of Arc

15.Am I a king only because I’m the son of a king? Or is it because I can make the people accept my laws or the army to move at my commands? Or self-confidence alone justify it? I ask you – all of you – what would you have me to do to become a real king in your eyes? – He gets no answer. –From Tughlaq by Girish Karnard.

16.Life is not be lived because something has happened in the past and nor for an ideal future. It is for doing the right thing here and now.

17.“Man cannot ask what the meaning of life is… It is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life and he can answer to life only by answering for his own life. – Frankl

18.It is better to have self control than to control an army. – Bible

19.“Satyam vadet, Priyam vadet; Speak the truth sweetly.” – Vedas

20.“Madam, If I consider your dazzling teeth, your age should be 19, but from your wavy brown hair, you can be placed around 18. But if I consider your gentle complexion, you can be said to be no more than 16”. Madam says, “I appreciate the way you told it but could you tell me my exact age?”. “As I am too weak in calculations, you just have to add 19, 18 and 16 and you will arrive at my guess of your age.” – Tenali (from book “Fix your problems in Tenali’s way” By “ Vishal Goyal”

21.He has right to criticize, who has the heart to help. – Lincoln

22.Like we decorate gold ornaments with diamonds, decorate yourselves with good values – Chanakya

23.There are only three jewels on earth: Food grains, water and words of good wish. Foolish people run behind gold and other ornaments thinking that they are the real jewels. –Chanakya

24.“Yoga karmasu kaushalam; Yoga means patience during the deed. – Geeta [ from this can we infer Dhyana-yoga as "patience during thinking or meditating" and so on?

25.Recite thou in the name of thy lord who hath taught the use of the pen. – Koran [first page]

26.Fashion and luxury are the most dangerous tyrants on this earth!!!!!!!!!!!

27.Child flower asks mother,
Mother, why should we blossom?
Man plucks us, animal eats.
O child! if we do not blossom,
Man's heart turns cruel. – APJ

28." ...that I may dedicate each victory to her and call upon her in defeat, and if at last I give my life, I give it in the sacred name of Dulcinea. " - Don Quixote

29.The sun is painting the dying sky with wild colors of a mad artist. – Sidney Sheldon

30.Love was the wonderful new country to be explored. -Sidney Sheldon

Free:

1.Pain follows pleasure and vice versa. – Socrates [have patience anyway]

2."Long after her sensitive heart and weary hands had crumbled into dust, and had climbed to life again in forest flowers, he said to a friend, with tears in his eyes, 'All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my sainted mother.'" -Dr. J.G. Holland about Abe Lincoln

3. The proof of this truth is in every person, and it therefore admits
of easy investigation by systematic introspection and self-analysis.
Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at
the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions
of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it
cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies
into circumstance. Bestial thoughts crystallize into habits of
drunkenness and sensuality, which solidify into circumstances of
destitution and disease: impure thoughts of every kind crystallize
into enervating and confusing habits, which solidify into
distracting and adverse circumstances: thoughts of fear, doubt, and
indecision crystallize into weak, unmanly, and irresolute habits,
which solidify into circumstances of failure, indigence, and slavish
dependence: lazy thoughts crystallize into habits of uncleanliness
and dishonesty, which solidify into circumstances of foulness and
beggary: hateful and condemnatory thoughts crystallize into habits
of accusation and violence, which solidify into circumstances of
injury and persecution: selfish thoughts of all kinds crystallize
into habits of self-seeking, which solidify into circumstances more
or less distressing. On the other hand, beautiful thoughts of all
kinds crystallize into habits of grace and kindliness, which
solidify into genial and sunny circumstances: pure thoughts
crystallize into habits of temperance and self-control, which
solidify into circumstances of repose and peace: thoughts of
courage, self-reliance, and decision crystallize into manly habits,
which solidify into circumstances of success, plenty, and freedom:
energetic thoughts crystallize into habits of cleanliness and
industry, which solidify into circumstances of pleasantness: gentle
and forgiving thoughts crystallize into habits of gentleness, which
solidify into protective and preservative circumstances: loving and
unselfish thoughts crystallize into habits of self-forgetfulness for
others, which solidify into circumstances of sure and abiding
prosperity and true riches. - James Allen, As a man thinketh!

P.S. All works are awesome. Serial numbers are given only and only for counting.

Education

2012-04-23T23:39:00.002+05:30

Education, One of the most uttered words of today's world due to it's magical pull that can a drive a nation to it's peak point of development has many meanings in various contexts. Every literature has it's own meaning for this stupendous term. While some definitions are very practical there are some which are highly philosophical. No wonder, In spite of knowing, talking and discussing so much about this term "Education", when we are confronted with few questions like "Being a literate, would it mean a person to be educated?" or "A girl married at a tender age say 18 or so, is she missing education?" or "The children who roam on streets while they should have been in schools, are they really missing something?",And then, we usually get back to sit and think about what Education really is. And the schools out there, are they really imparting education? All my search told me that no one knows completely about this subject though there are people who have genuinely attempted to define it after learning the lessons of life. And here are the few best definitions about Education that I have found which almost answered my queries. Tried to write some commentary for these pieces, then rewritten them and finally deleted as the commentary is no match for these wonderful definitions.

1. Education is the ability to meet life’s situations. - Dr. John G. Hibben

2. Education is the ability to become self- dependent and then helping others. –unknown

3. The sole purpose of education is developing concentration- unknown. (Or) “The great aim of education is not knowledge but action” – Herbert Spencer.

4. Education that doesn’t build character isn’t education.- Unknown

5. (“What is uneducation?”) Those people who think only of themselves are hopelessly uneducated.- Dr Nicholas Murray Butler.

Relationships and Chemical Bondings!

2012-03-22T23:50:00.002+05:30

I, sometimes, do not understand these physical and mental compositions of human beings. Are these compositions like chemical ones? Are we the same as a single oxygen atom cannot exist in the atmosphere? Do we need one more person to share life with, or to say, to become stable?

And then, the fundamental question that rotates in my head is, “Why should we marry or have a girlfriend?” Is it because it eases your thinking and calms down your mind? Say, If you are single, you talk inside your head, and what if you fall into a relationship? Do you start sharing all your thoughts with your mate, and is that sharing the thing that keeps you refreshed and relaxed? One of my colleagues, who is so worried when he is single, appears calm after calling his wife and talking with her for a few minutes. One of my friends who has been engaged recently seems so active these days that he has even started motivating me and others to do something new instead of wasting time on FB (horrible!). One more friend has already started gymnastics and swimming while he is still in the initial process of getting engaged. Well, they all are excited! Similar are a few more cases.

When I think about all this stuff, all that comes to mind is the chapter called Chemical Bonding from Chemistry. When the chemistry between you and that girl/guy works fine, you fall into a relationship. So, all the people who are into relationships, CHILL. And all the people who are still single like me, Double Chill. And all the people who are unmarried throughout life (there was one whom I met on a particular occasion) Triple Chill. Because all we’ve done in life is all we really wanted to do.

The only complaint about having a relationship that bothers me is, “Will these mood changes remain throughout life?” Although I have almost wiped off the habit of predicting the future, I think it’s always better to have a few self-help books on relationships to keep the PRESENT drifting with the same excitement.

But in the end, I return to my zero-level thinking and the same old question: “What is life?” Is it again the same growing up, finding a job, marrying a girl, having kids, and seeing them doing the same things? Or is it reading the same former sentence with lots of “Excitement!”? OR is this all some kind of NONSENSE? I do not know. My questions remain questions even after so many thoughts. But I thank you for reading this and would be delighted to see what you think about these things!

Where is Donkey and My Other Friends?

2010-03-04T21:55:00.000+05:30

Tigers snarl, Lions roar, Ducks quack, birds chirp, and donkeys bray are some of the beautiful things everyone learns during childhood. Though it is continually reminded by many organizations like PETA regarding endangered species and their extinction, this time, it was my friend's akka's cute 2-year-old son, Gannu.

Like all other kids, he was also trying to escape during dinner time, but like all moms, akka was fast to grab him, making him sit in the corridor(where we all sat) from where one could see the sky, stars, and the moon. She asked or told the kid something interesting every time she fed him his food. He is an intelligent kid. You ask him, "Where are your eyes?" and he will show you. Ask him about the address of the moon and the stars; he will show you the sky. It looks fantastic when a small and cute child tells everything with so much patience in a tender voice.

This time, I was quick to jump into the scene and ask Gannu, "How do tigers say?" in a second, he snarled, snarled really like a tiger. When asked about a dog, the answer comes to "bow-bow," and for a cat, a sharp "meow."The next act, as decided by all of us, was of a donkey. But our little gannu ran into trouble this time, as he never saw a donkey or a donkey bray. Ask about sparrows. He can't tell.

Anyhow, it was not his failure. He is very innocent. He was just a 2-year kid yet to see much of the world. But more embarrassed were we all. Many other species, not just donkeys, like ducks, tigers, tortoises, elephants, etc., are vulnerable to extinction. What are we doing? Will we pass just a few computers and programming skills with few images to the next generations? I felt like Gannu would become an archeologist, excavating the bones of a donkey and writing a book like "A Lost Species" or "Discovery of a Lost Species." Like we studied the Dinosaurs of Mesozoic times, even he has to study the Donkeys. I am sure he will not understand the famous daant "Gadhe kahinke", which usually gets uttered by our oldies.

Why do we neglect other animals so much? Because they do not have brains like us, and we have a super brain? Today, much of India's flora and fauna stand on the verge of extinction. Is it not our responsibility to preserve the rich natural heritage possessed by our land? Everyone has a responsibility to take care of it. And as we have sophisticated technology, it should be fine. We are just a few mouse clicks away to question our ministers of environment and forestry and animal husbandry ministers of various states. Also, as a matter of responsibility, never tease animals and teach kids around you to treat them well. Other lives are our natural wealth.

If all animals vanish away one day, we have to look at each other. You must look at me, and I must look at you all. It is so plain to envisage this much. How would we play with the kids talking about various animals? Moreover, how would one praise his girlfriends so plainly without comparing their features with some animals like owls (owl eyes), deer, snakes(snake-like long and thick hair), etc? What will happen to names like Samarasimha Reddy, Phanindra, and Meenakshi? Their names will become meaningless. Our country's National Emblem contains four different animals, which means we respect animals first. We all have evolved from them, and we are all interdependent. REMEMBER, Before us, this land belonged to all the flora and fauna. We owe them a lot. Let us give a beautiful world, full of life, to our little gannu. What do you say??