Worst Ref Ever And Stuff

Cats of Corpus Christi

2024-09-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

As we're all aware, I am the undisputed Worst Ref Ever. Now that we've established that, since I can't referee hockey any more, I talk to stray cats. As a ref, I don't make the news, I just report it.

If you're unfamiliar with Corpus Christi, the cat distribution network is on meth down here. Cats run the city. This entire blog post will be a living blog dedicated to the cats that I encounter on a daily basis.

These are their stories......

Our first Halloween here, the daughter found this defective unit. Henry came to live with us and he's a holy terror. He will forever be our original Corpus Christi Cat.

Driving for Uber, I meet lots of cats. This one is pretty black and white.

Random ginger boy looking for the brain cell orange cats share.

This is La Noche, one of the TAMUCC Ward Island Cats.

This absolute boss is a crosswalk guard.

So polite to stop traffic so I could park and take a glamour shot.

If My Words Did Glow

2024-09-02T15:07:00.000-07:00

i'd like to take a moment, just a moment, to speak about empathy. Not a very popular subject these days. So much tribalism. So much hate. It's so easy to be angry about things.

i'm generally a pretty negative person. i know what you're thinking. Not the Worst Ref Ever?!

With that said, things in my life have changed recently and i've become more introspective. i'm seeing my own character flaws and trying to correct them. I'm learning about empathy. Which is strange because I rather enjoyed being a self destructive sociopath.

In light of the recent loss to the hockey community of the Gaudreau brothers, i've been doing some soul searching.

Naturally my heart goes out to the the Gaudreau family. This is an absolute tragedy. Having experienced loss, like i'm sure we all have, this has to be a gut punch to them. i can literally feel the pain the family is going through and I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

There's a bigger problem here.

i've never felt sorry for or had any use for drunk drivers. They could rot in hell where they belong was my opinion.

Due to an awakening however, i found empathy. Not just for the family, but the drunk driver.

Yes, it's true, it was his decision to drink. Yes, it was his decision to get into the car and drive. Yes, he ruined a family's lives. All true, but his decision impacted way more than the Gaudreau family.

Like a ripple, his problem, has now become the problem of many. We can play the what if game forever.

What if he hadn't been drinking? What if he had gotten an Uber instead? What if, he'd gotten help for his drinking problem? What if it were you?

Drinking and driving is a huge problem. But the problem is deeper than driving drunk. The problem runs much deeper. How many of us have gotten behind the wheel when we shouldn't have? Oh, but we'll be fine to drive, we don't have far to go.

So yeah, this man has a problem and he just compounded them. i don't hate him. i don't hate drunk drivers. i understand them now.

At the end of the day, we're going to remember the Gaudreau boys. And we should. Both were young, talented athletes with their great lives ahead of them. So much to live for. So much yet to accomplish. Their lives are over now and their legacy will hopefully live on.

For the driver, possibly an alcoholic, his life too, is essentially over. Unless, there's a miracle, perhaps a spiritual awakening, he can turn his life around. The odds are stacked against him and our criminal justice system is not in his favor. Maybe that's okay? Who am i to say?

It's my hope, that when i die, i've made an impact that will live on. That i've left a ripple. A positive one. That my words will glow to someone. At this point in my life, i no longer want to leave a ripple of destruction. i've found empathy.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol or addiction, reach out. You don't know how many lives you're doing to save. Fare thee well Gaudreau family.

This is a national hotline but a local group is just a Google search away.

Worst Uber Driver Ever: Part Deux

2024-06-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

For those of you playing the home game, you may remember my misadventure of almost abducting 2 college students on accident. If you're not familiar, feel free to click on that link.

At any rate, several months ago we upgraded our ride to a Toyota RAV 4. Much nicer than the diminutive Mitsubishi Mirage. With that said, I started actually driving for Uber, not just Uber Eats and I have learned many things.

1. Food never talks when driving it around.

2. People are strange.

3. People who don't engage in conversation with their Uber driver are psychopaths.

There's nothing worse than dead air driving people around. That awkward silence. It's the worst.

Now I'm rambling, let me get to the story.

One of my trips the other day was the best. Here in Corpus Christi there's a Seafood place on North Padre Island named Doc's. Popular for it's location right on the water and quality food and drinks.

I picked up a couple that were having a date night. They were married and in good spirits. They asked me to stop at a gas station to get something on the way home so I obliged. The husband asked his wife and I if we wanted anything, we both declined and he got out.

As soon as the husband disappears inside the gas station, the wife says, from behind me.

Wife: "How do you feel about pranks?"

Me: "I'm cool with them, what did you have in mind?"

Wife: "I'm going to hide in the back, behind the seat here and when he comes back I want you to make something up, tell him I left, you don't know where I went, maybe say something happened at dinner."

Me: "Ah, I got it, yeah, I'll make something up."

She tries to climb over the back seat but I stop her.

Me: "Hey, let me open the tailgate for you, it'll be easier."

She thanked me and proceeds to hide. She tells me she's going to record the whole thing. (Still hoping the video surfaces and goes viral)

The husband returns and sits down.

Me: "Man, I don't know how to say this. I've never had this happen before, but your wife, well, she left man. She just got out, said something happened at dinner and she was gone."

Husband: "So, did she like go to the bathroom or something?"

Me: "Man, I'm going to be honest, I never saw her walk in front of the car or go into the gas station. I have no idea where she is."

Looking a bit panicked and perplexed, he gets out his phone and he's clearly trying to call her. Her phone, clearly on silent. She keeps declining his calls from behind the seat.

Meanwhile, my wife is texting and I have the Stars game playing in the background. The husband asks.

Husband: "Hey, so what's the score?"

Me: "3 to nothing Edmonton."

He's still calling his wife who's not answering. He then proceeds.

Husband: "Did you see their last game when they fell apart?"

Me: "Yeah man, so crazy."

This is followed by several seconds of awkward silence. That's when some fart noises emanate from behind the back seat. First just one, then a pause, followed by another and another.

Husband: "Is that you, or your phone making those noises."

Me: "Nah man, I'm not sure what that is, I thought it was you."

Suddenly, from behind the seat comes laughter, the wife sprung her trap. I pop the tailgate again and she gets out then enters the back driver side door.

She immediately starts in on him.

Wife: "Sooooo, what's the score of the Stars game?" Her tone, dripping with accusation.

Husband: "I just figured you were in the restroom or something."

Wife: "Oh really, you weren't worried about me at all?"

I'll just let your mind run wild with how the conversation went the rest of the way home. Keep in mind it was a 30 minute drive. I can assure you the banter between the 3 of us touched on all the subjects of what could have happened to her and why she might leave him and what if the Uber driver was a serial killer and I'd tied her up in the back and killed her.

So yeah, if you're ever in an Uber, please engage in conversation with your driver. It's strongly encouraged.

Murder of Crowes

2024-03-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

So, I did a thing. Not a good thing, or a bad thing, but a thing.

We took our bi-annual trip to DFW this past week for spring break. The wife did a shit ton of photo sessions. Yes, that's an actual unit of measurement.

I drove like a Brazilian miles, alsoly a unit of measurement.

Almost went to a Dallas Stars game.

Ate a boatload of food, most of which we don't have in Corpus Christi. (Again working my non-standard units of measurement)

One of the highlights though was that I turned 49. Although it feels more like 94, but I digress.

We had to extend our stay one additional day due to weather and rescheduling photo sessions and thus, we needed additional clothing for the extra day. As such, I needed a new shirt.

Now, I could have gone with any shirt. Dress shirt, wife beater, blouse, polo, rugby, Henley, Cuban collar, but instead, I got a t-shirt that's been a long time coming.

If you've been playing the home game you might remember this gem.

https://www.worstrefeverandstuff.com/2011/07/bi-otch.html

Back in 1997, the year of our Lord, I had Black Crowes tickets. I gave them up to my girlfriend at the time so I could have my fantasy camp moment of going to pro hockey training camp in what was then the West Coast Hockey League. (What a beautiful run on sentence <3)

Not only did my girlfriend fail to get me a concert t-shirt, she ghosted me and bought a bag of weed with the money I gave her.

Fast forward to last week, only 27 years later and for only $15 I purchased my own Black Crowes shirt thanks to Walmart and their capitalistic wisdom. So, all toll, it was really $55 but with inflation I'm not even sure the cost.

Regardless, it's green so it's my St. Patrick's Day shirt. Yay me.

Worst Uber Driver Ever

2023-12-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

Alright, been a while, but, this evening, I did something special. I can see you're all hanging onto the edge of your seats. I don't blame you. I'm super interesting and very funny. I crack myself up non-stop. I'm a laugh a minute.

Okay, none of that's true...

At any rate, I went to TAMUCC to pick my daughter (formerly The Munchkin) up after some finals today. I texted her upon my arrival as is standard protocol.

I sat in the car and waited and played on my phone. A few moments later the back door opens and in my mind, I thought, what amazing timing, we can get on the road. I proceeded to drive to the exit of campus when I see a notification pop up on my phone. My phone being safely in it's cradle on my dash.

Driving slowly, still on campus, I slowly turn around and notice there are two strangers in the back seat of my car. I turn back around and say. "Um, you're not my daughter." To which the young man seated behind me to my right replies. "Are you not our Uber driver?"

Realizing the error of my ways I explained that I was not their Uber driver but apparently we have the same make and model car with the same color to boot. I quickly turned around and returned the boys to their pick up point and wished them safe travels.

Much to my daughter's surprise when she started to get in, two boys exited. She gets in and to quote her precisely. "What the fuck?"

Yeah, so that's how I almost kidnapped two college students today.

Worst Ref Ever: A Prequel

2023-10-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

In the late summer of 1993, the year of our Lord, I was but a teenage hockey player. I was undersized but full of hopes and dreams. I'd had a pretty good training camp with the Junior Blues in St. Louis but was ultimately cut.

It wasn't a waste however, I made some connections and coach Heggs told me to keep in touch. Goalies frequently got called up to Danville so I might be needed. I was filled with excitement. Also, a friend I made in camp, who was from Chicago, knew of a Jr. team in Aurora, Il. He gave me the coaches contact information and I reached out.

Apparently, the coach had spoken to my friend's dad and invited me to camp. After another terrific camp, I was offered the starting job in net.

Sounds amazing right? Well, the devil is in the details and those had to be discussed with my parents. This was a Jr. C team and had no sponsors. It was going to have to be funded by the player's parents or we'd have to find our own sponsors. My parents had been stretched pretty thin so, in the end, I didn't take the offer.

That's not the story I'm here to tell though. It's about my billet family. The family I stayed with during camp. They were fantastic. For the life of me though, I can't remember their name. I blame CTE.

At any rate, they showed me the city, took me out to eat to nice places on the lake, provided a place to stay in the northwest suburbs and were genuinely good people. I suppose that's a must for billets. They were excited I made the team. They promised, upon my return for the season, we'd celebrate with Portillo's.

As I'm sure you already pieced together, we never reunited and I never went back to Chicago.

Tonight, just over 30 years later, while on a trip back to Dallas from Corpus Christi, I finally had a meal at Portillo's. A jumbo dog, fries and a drink.

I will forever blame, my failure to get back to Chicago for that season of junior hockey, for my untimely knee injury and my journey to the dark side of hockey and the venerable title of Worst Ref Ever. Oh yeah, that's a San-Fran-tastic run on sentence. You're welcome.

Sure it's not a Chicago dog but that ship has sailed.

Worst Convenient Store Eavesdropper Ever

2023-04-21T22:59:00.002-07:00

Okay, I was going to post this one the Book of Face, but it was too long.

The other day I visited a Stripes Convenient Store. It's basically a 7/11. At any rate, the guy in front of me was taking a particularly long time paying for his beer, smokes and of course lottery scratch offs. The clerk was engaging in small talk. This guy was apparently a regular.

The real news though was the previous clerk who had just finished her shift. She's gossiping with another regular when she launches into her life's drama at a volume that can only be described as dirt track decibel levels.

Since my ear holes had to absorb this, I'm passing this along to you, through your eye holes.

Apparently, she had a heart to heart with her ex-boyfriend, with whom she has 2 kids. They had started dating again until he came clean to her that he was seeing someone else.

He'd been sleeping with.....

Her mother.....

Yup, and he was pretty sure he was falling in love. Basically he was asking permission to continue seeing her and that he thought it was getting pretty serious.

So yeah, let that sink in. Her baby daddy, could become her step daddy and be both his kid's dad and grand dad.

Now, I've lived in Missouri, Kansas and Texas. I've visited Arkansas, Georgia and Florida. I've heard some backwoods, trashy cracker BS. I mean some of my in-laws are felons.

I'm not proud.....

This though blew my mind so now, I pass this along to you. You're welcome.

Only in Mruica

Worst Deadhead Ever

2023-03-10T21:11:00.000-08:00

Hey now, as most of you know, not only am I a terrible ice hockey official both on and off the ice, I'm alsoly a bit of a Deadhead. I'm pretty bad at that too.

Sure, I didn't travel the countryside from venue to venue. I did however have some bootlegs and caught them a few times. Still to this day I can't get enough of the Grateful Dead channel on Sirius/XM.

To be fair, I love all things improvisational. Music, comedy, witty banter, you name it.

Today I got a surprise in the mail. Random.

I don't recognize this handwriting.

Inside the tube.

So, to whoever the merry prankster was that sent this to me. Good on ya.

Worst Off Ice Official Ever

2023-02-08T20:26:00.001-08:00

So, as most of you know, I've sailed into the sunset of my on ice officiating career. Moving on to greener pastures. Or, at least living the beach bum life.

This season though, I got a chance to be an off ice official in the NAHL. They have me baby sitting players again but in a different capacity. I've found it harder to chirp the home team when they're in the box. Still, hockey talk is hockey talk.

The downside? Math. Stacked penalties, double minors, majors, 10 minute misconducts. I blame the officials for crappy game management.

Hopefully I can bring some more real life stories to life in this new capacity.

Standing room only.

My Swan Song

2022-06-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

So as I was cleaning things up. I came across some historical artifacts that tracked my career as the Worst Ref Ever here in DFW. I mean I've ruined games in KC and Wichita too but those are merely a footnote in my storied career. They don't compare to the children I've made cry here in the DFW area. The parents I've enraged. The coaches I've befuddled with my rapier like wit. Or the countless beer leaguers that made this blog possible.

With the future currently uncertain, I wanted to share with you my collection of crests and the nameplate from my original Worst Ref Ever Sweater.

The two Covid years are a bit of a gap.

To quote Bugs Bunny: "I'd like to say it's been a little slice of heaven, but I can't." I may be paraphrasing but you get the idea. Sure there's been some fun times along the way but it's been a journey. I'm deliberately being vague here but I will miss some parts of reffing. I'll miss the time in the room with the other refs. I'll miss the banter with players and coaches. I'll miss the goalie talks I've had.

I don't know that this is the end of the line, we'll see how things shake out. I'll recertify again this year and we'll see how things shake out.

Oh Yeah, I Almost Forgot

2022-06-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

So I was supposed to ref 3 games tonight. I wasn't ready, the new skates weren't ready. Lots of things weren't ready. The players are never ready for me. We're like the opposite of a battery, we're NEVER READY!!!

See what I did there? Yeah, okay, stupid dad jokes aside. Wait, one more. Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to admit that it needs help.

Okay, back to the story at hand. In order to get my three games covered tonight I offered to immortalize the ref covering my games in written word.

So, WRE 6:10 Kerry Williams, thank you good sir for stepping up to the plate. I remember the days when you were but a fledgling hockey player. Now you're part of the dark side. May you develop the dragon scales required to be a USA Hockey official as long as I've been. May your chirps be as disarming as the screech of an eagle on flight.

Let your name be known, far and wide as the ref that covered for the Worst Ref Ever. Kneel and be anointed as I pass the torch to the new generation of beer league officials.

Oh look, the Kansas Cup, I've won that with 4 different teams.

Seriously though, thanks for your help. I alsoly really enjoyed subbing for that really crappy team you had where I got a million shots a game.

New Skates, Who Dis?

2022-06-10T21:55:00.001-07:00

So for all of you that are close to me and have been following along with the home version of my foot injury saga, this should come as no surprise. Today I purchased new skates. I didn't want to, but the podiatrist forced my hand.

As you may be aware I took the pandemic off from reffing because hockey players suck at social distancing. I did start playing goalie again because as a goalie I can kind of social distance and in a pinch I can spear a guy to keep him 6 feet away from me.

Come the first of the year of 2022 and I started reffing again. Reffing a lot. Like way more than I should be allowed to. After about 2 months, I was working a beer league game and I jumped over a player's stick and the puck. When I landed something in my left foot popped. It was excruciating. I still reffed another 3 weeks before finally breaking down and going to the Dr.

So much for my farewell tour of ruining hockey in DFW.

7 weeks later of walking around in the aircast/walking boot I tried to go again and reffed a 3 game set. Instantly my feet were killing me again. This time it was the right foot.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

I went back to the Dr. I spent more time in the walking boot (on the other foot this time) and I took my goalie skates and ref skates with me to the Dr. so he could see what I was working with.

Keep in my my goalie skates have very little rocker on the blade. it's almost flat and the blade is wider. Alsoly, the boot on my goalie skate is a custom, baked VH/True skate boot. Not your run of of the mill player skate that I hadn't skated in for 2 years. The Dr. said, "Well, there's your answer, get new skates if you want to keep doing this. If not, quit."

So I didn't want to go back to the player skates. I just don't feel comfortable in them. There's alsoly that stupid USA hockey rule about not being allowed to ref in goalie skates. The biggest part of that is safety and due to the old school cowlings, you can't make a sharp turn in goalie skates without the cowling hitting the ice.

With new modern goalie skates however that's not the case. So here it goes. I'm going to give it a shot. Plantars fasciitis be damned.

So far, walking around the house they feel good.

I Don't Know What It Is

2022-02-12T13:23:00.003-08:00

As you may be aware, I've been officiating for a long time. I've had some laughs over the years. I've built a lot of relationships with players and coaches. I've made a ton of friends with fellow officials. This has been a good trip. A long trip.

Of late however, I've been verbally and physically abused more than ever. Maybe the physical abuse was unintentional. The verbal abuse, however, is absolutely intentional. It's disturbing. It's alarming. Frankly, it's quite concerning.

It's not just me either. It's everyone. Not just officials, it's player on player verbal abuse. It goes beyond the usual chirps. It's dehumanizing.

I went a long time without a blog worthy hockey game. Recently though, I've had a so many that my mind can't even wrap my head around how I can adequately convey the abuse. It's befuddling.

I'm not sure if it's climate change. I'm not sure if it's the current political climate. I'm not sure if it's chem trails. It's really inexplicable. All I know is that I've been mother fucked and told I was a worthless piece of shit more in the past year than my entire officiating career.

Look, I get that I'm "The Worst Ref Ever". I earned that title. I own the domain name. Frankly, when you see me, you should at least feel good that you know what you're getting into. "Oh, it's this guy, keep your mouths shut boys, he's terrible but he's consistent."

I've been seriously thinking about driving for Uber or Lyft and dropping off the officiating planet. So have a ton of other officials.

I'm writing not so much for a cry for help, or to bitch, but hopefully to inform people that this behavior is on the rise.

I get that you may have had a crappy day at work. I get that you had to find a babysitter to come play a game. I understand and empathize with everyone. Look, I've made a huge commitment too. I've spent hours of my life testing to officiate your hockey game.

At the end of the day, we're both human. we both of families. We both have day jobs. We both have other things to deal with. Your beer league game, is that really the most important thing in your life?

If it is, I feel sorry for you.

I don't have any solutions, but maybe we all need to step back and take a look at what's really important in our lives.

In the past year I've found a healthy hockey fix. Maybe search for a similar outlet. I'm skating in net every Sunday morning with other 40+ players that just play pickup. No refs. The teams are different every week. Everyone knows everyone. We just play for fun. That's what the game is about.

Just throwing this out there. I wish you all the best.

To quote Kerry Fraser (Our referee and savior) "Mistakes will be made. Calls will be missed and hockey players will do stupid things."

The ref I aspire to be.

Social Distancing

2022-02-12T13:23:00.001-08:00

If you know me, you’re probably aware of my propensity for being loquacious. As a result, I’ve opted out of officiating for the he COVID19 future. My officiating style does not lend itself to social distancing.

Having a heated discussion a disgruntled player could potentially harm me in more ways than simply making me sad.

So I’ve taken up goaltending again. I know what you’re thinking. Weren’t you a goalie to begin with? Well, that’s up for debate. At least in net I’m not typically “near” anyone. Plus I have a stick that’s about 6 feet long and I can use it to separate myself from other players.

With all that said, I’ve found myself more frequently socially distancing from pucks.

I’m really just writing to let people know I’m still around. I’ll always be the worst ref ever. I’m just trying to find other ways to ruin hockey.

Me in net, actual size.

Is This Thing On?

2022-02-12T13:12:00.002-08:00

Well hello there, been a while. As you may or may not currently be aware, I stepped away from officiating the game of hockey for a couple years. There was this whole apocalypse thing. Or maybe it was a plague or something. It's frankly hard to remember.

At any rate, on January 1st, 2022, the year of our Lord, I came back. Sure, there was much fanfare, parties were thrown, there was much ado.......

Who am I kidding, no one really noticed. Not right away anyway. I think the COVID hair threw people off. It is pretty sick hockey flow though.

Since I've been back though I'd like to bring up some highlights.

1. My first game back was mostly guys I'd been playing goalie with in old man hockey so it was good that they were my first game. Alsoly in that game, I had the privilege of reffing an NHL official. The guy's worked Stanley Cup games. That was pretty cool. I've reffed Gord Dwyer. Yup, just name dropped.

2. My chirp game is still top shelf.

3. Yelling "NO GOAL!!! THE NET IS OFF!!!" doesn't have the same impact while you're pointing at the dislodged as if you're signaling for a goal. That was pretty funny.

4. You can always tell a hockey player, you just can't tell them much.

5. Falling still hurts and gravity does still work.

6. Sometimes even the best chirps and jokes miss their mark. Comedy is subjective though.

So, anyway, thought I'd keep this brief. Hope to see you all around the rinks.

Here's Gord showing me the signal I was looking for the other night.

Well, This is a First

2019-09-01T10:53:00.001-07:00

I've been reffing a long time. A long damn time. With that said, I've done a lot of stupid things while reffing. I have a long list of references. And that's a lot of use of the word long. But this was a first.

Before the game I was talking to my partner and we were laughing about something. The buzzer had gone off and we separate at center ice and he goes to check the player entry door and the home net. I go my way and do the same on the visitors side. All is normal, all is well.

He drops the opening face off and I follow play into the visiting team's zone. A quick shot on net and the goalie covers it. No biggie, I go to blow my whistle.

Now, I want to talk to you for a moment about helplessness. That moment when you realize you have absolutely no control over a certain situation. The only time I've really felt like this reffing was that time my whistle literally broke on me and I had to scream to get play to stop.

Well, as I go to blow my whistle, I quickly realized I was just blowing on my bare knuckles. Yup, left the whistle in the pocket. The goalie's looking at me, his team's looking at me, the other players are looking at me and I'm just staring at my knuckles. I did eventually yell and timidly utter the words "Tweet" and my partner did blow the whistle.

So, moral of the story, never forget your whistle. Fortunately everyone was cool. Had it been an A league game my credibility would have been shot. This was a D league game and everyone was completely cool. We laughed and went on our merry way.

That doesn't change the fact that complacency is something we all have to be vigilant against as officials.

Hold My Beer

2019-05-15T20:43:00.002-07:00

Well, I feel as though the NHL has issued me a challenge to be an even worse official. In honor of this monumental occasion. I'd just like to say. Challenge accepted NHL. Here's a meme for your approval.

Wow, I'm still here.

2019-02-10T21:34:00.002-08:00

So, today I was reminded of a couple of things.

1. I still have this blog and own the domain name. Worst Ref Ever Blog.

2. I haven't worked youth hockey in a couple years.

So today, I worked my first mite cross ice game in 2 years. Or as they call it now, 8U cross ice hockey. It's where the ice is split into thirds by half boards and they have 3 games going at once. 6 teams, 4v4, 21 minute halves.

Look for the past two years I've reffed high school and beer leaguers. In other words, I've been working games with players and coaches that understand sarcasm and humor to some degree. They alsoly have way better chirps than 8 year olds.

Before my mite game, I watched some of a bantam travel game and the parents were super intense. All I could think was, "You know those players don't hear you right?" and "You know the refs and coaches don't hear you right?" It sucks because both refs are friends of mine. They didn't do anything wrong. The coaches were people I knew. They weren't doing anything wrong. One team was just clearly better than the other and it showed.

I thought to myself, "Hey, at least I'm doing mite cross ice, I won't have to deal with any of that." Boy was I wrong. It wasn't so much me but an angry parent confronted one of our other refs after the game giving him an earful about how everything he did was wrong. I'm paraphrasing here but, you weren't throwing the puck the corners right after the goalie covered the puck. What were you doing out there? Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

My partner explained his stance but the guy, who looked like Daryl from The Walking Dead, had no patience. I was going to help them tear down the half boards but opted to escort my partner to the dressing room to keep him from being further verbally abused.

At least the coaches and parents on my part of the ice were more well behaved.

So, I'm just posting this because, well, I wanted to let people know I'm still alive. I'm so glad my daughter got into theater instead of hockey or sportsing in general. I prefer my drama in the theater. Which by the way is a big reason I haven't been blogging lately. Well, that, and players I officiate in beer league now have a mantra. "Dude, be cool to that guy, you don't want to make his blog." SO, I've got that going for me.

Oh, one more thing, I was informed that on 1/2/2017 I apparently fell during a game and thus owe a partner a beer. I contest that I was taken out by a player or the skate sniper and I owe him nothing. Alsoly, how do you recall the exact date? Dude, that's messed up.

Fare Thee Well Klemmer

2018-02-18T09:21:00.001-08:00

What is there to say? As I try to eulogize a good friend, I find myself at a loss for words. Bob's story is not a simple one. He was a complex man with great passion. Passion for the game of hockey. Passion for his friends and family. Passion for the fight against cancer. He's created such a legacy and his abrupt departure from the our lives is going to leave a void.

I don't even know where to begin. We met, many years ago. I was a 17 year old kid and was looking for extra ice time and was offered an opportunity to get that ice time playing beer league hockey with old men. Bob was one of them. He saw my goal tending potential and helped to educate me on the ways of the classic goalies like Glen Hall, Tony Esposito.

When I started blogging, it was his feedback I couldn't wait to see. I always anticipated his comments and suggestions when I'd post a new blog. He was my proofreader, always looking for grammar and typos.

He was always kind, unless you were in his crease or were officiating his game.

All those games we played and early Sunday mornings we spent on the ice. Those are memories I'll cherish.

These are just random thoughts and memories though. Bob's greatest legacy will be his devotion to fighting cancer. The Have a Skate With Bob Foundation has raised lots of money and brought much needed awareness to pancreatic cancer. This is going to be the biggest void to fill. I'm not sure what lays ahead of this organization but hopefully, someone, will carry on his legacy.

None of that is important today. Today we remember Bob. Fare thee well brother. You left us too soon. I'll miss your banter. I'll miss our Facebook chats. I'll miss your humor, insight and most of all your never ending desire to see people, all people, living together, peacefully.

https://www.skatewithbob.com/

So I Made Another Come Back Of Sorts

2017-09-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

So, back in like February of this year, someone posted that they were making a batch of Autism Awareness Goalie Jerseys. A friend of mine purchased one for me but much to our dismay, we never received it. I felt bad for my friend, he certainly didn't have to so this but he did because, well, as you know, the munchkin is on the Autism Spectrum and it just seemed appropriate.

Well, months went by, I'd forgotten about it, my friend and written it off. It was water under the bridge so to speak but much to our surprise, last month it was delivered.

Complete with name and number.

Naturally I had to choose a better looking model than myself to display this masterpiece.

Like any jersey though, it's just a decoration unless you test it on the ice. So, I subbed for a friend who had vertigo and can't seem to get his sea legs back.

Extreme close up. Scary.

My better side.

I stopped some pucks and got the W.

But the best part of my game was chirping the stripes.

Seasons Change

2017-04-30T12:18:00.001-07:00

Haven't posted anything in a while. Life is a bit overwhelming. The day job has me stressed. The munchkin has her theater that keeps us moving. The wife still shoots people every weekend. Hockey however, is between seasons so I've had a moment for quiet introspection.

Beer league is still going. It only pauses, it never really stops. But with travel hockey and high school hockey on hiatus, there are far fewer trips to the rink. It's good to take a break. One becomes burnt out from all the on ice shenanigans. The nightly kerfuffles wear you down.

With all that said, NHL Playoffs are in full swing and a chance to watch real hockey, good hockey, has me more upbeat.

Okay, I'm just rambling now. Trying to get back into this. Baby steps. Just going to leave you with this.

The Great Escape

2016-07-04T10:29:00.002-07:00

Over the years, whenever I've been stressed out, depressed or feeling generally in need of an escape, I've done many things. Some of which I'm not proud of. But far more often than not, the most cathartic thing for me is goal tending. The whole ritual of the thing. Putting the phone away and tuning out the outside world.

There's a process. Getting into the room and engaging with the crew. Laying out the gear to make sure you've got it all. Systematically applying all the gear. Under armor, cup, pants, skates, leg pads, the good old Frankenchesty and finally the helmet. Then, once the blocker and catcher go on, suddenly you're transformed into something different. You're no longer you. You're better. You're invincible. And for that hour or so that you're on the ice, in that gear, in that zone, you're immune to the outside world.

Sure, the world goes on, things happen, the world changes but for that moment, you're focus is shifted. You're goal is stay square to the puck, take away the most net you can and read the plays as they unfold before you.

Yes it's just a game, but you're alone. True, you have a team in front of you, but you stand solitary. The last line of defense. You're the guy on the team that everyone looks to when all else fails.

It's the great escape. To leave everything behind and just focus on one task. It's all consuming. I have no wisdom to impart here. Just reflections.

The last man.

The Kansas Cup Debacle 2016

2016-06-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

Since 1998 the year of our Lord, I've been attending this tourney Wichita, Kansas. I've won some and lost some. I've played for as many as three teams on a couple of occasions. I've even ruined games as an official. This year though, I threw the goal pads on again. Hoping for a miracle, expecting an atrocity. This year I got the latter. Regardless the outcome, the time spent with old friends was worth the abuse. I faced a billion shots and gave up at least two billion goals. With that said, let's get on with the pictures.

My buddy and former boss Scotty. Can't win a face off to save his life but he did score a goal. OH, and one of his 3 munchkins and the munchkin proving that goalies are cuddly.

This is munchkin photography. I'm statuesque.

And the munchkin had to do a selfie.

The look you have when you've seen enough shots and just want to sit down.

Does this chicken dance make me look fat?

Oh, so you're passing over there. Surely one of my 3 players will prevent that.

Apparently not, guess I'll just make the save then.

Scotty "winning" a face off.

The wife says it looks like I'm dancing but it's really me asking the team if I can come to the bench for an extra attacker. I was categorically denied. Apparently giving up 7 goals doesn't get you pulled.

This is me making a save. No, for real. I'm not just laying there.

You can see the guy behind the net corralling the rebound.

I'm just going to stay down.

The legendary Spade

Here's my D pursuing the puck in our zone. They chased that puck so good. Smokn' Joe and Spado.

Here's our relentless fore check.

Look, a wide open guy for my team to not cover.

This is me thinking to myself, "Please fan on the shot, please fan on the shot."

This is me being thankful that the guy fanned on the shot.

I think we actually scored here.

Then this guy set up behind the net.

Still waiting.

Great, wide open player in the slot.

That's cool guys, I'll just put the rebound into the corner.

Oh, but that guy got the rebound. This sucks. Let me stop a wrap around.

Yep, just another save.

Seriously though, good times.

Okay, gather round for story time.

Team picture.

See you all next year.

RUINING IT GOOD

2016-04-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

Some of you know how fond I am of ball caps. For those that don't know, if I'm not working at my office at my day job, I'm wearing a ball cap. I get one that I like and I stick with it. It's like an extension of myself. It's part of my being. I've had lots of hats over the years.

This is only a small portion of my hats. I still have a box full that's yet to adorn my walls.

If you ever need a DNA sample of mine, surely a few of these hats could provide that. My latest hat was no exception. Some people say they're disgusting. Some say wash them. I've tried washing them but they're never the same once you do.

Well, it was with some sadness that I hung up another recent hat. I've retired the USA Hockey hat that I've worn almost everyday for the better part of two years.

Say hello to the new USA Hockey hat. Welcome to the family hat. You will be well worn.

Making The News

2016-02-07T18:14:00.000-08:00

There's an old saying about refs. "We don't make the news, we just report it." Recently however, certain events have had officials making the news in ways that we both don't want and that give us a bad name.

We were all saddened that Don Henderson got flattened by Dennis Wideman. Nobody deserves to be blown up from behind. Especially a guy that's just calling off sides and icings. Sure, hockey's an emotional game, sure you may have been upset and concussed, but you're still responsible for your actions. Do I believe that Dennis intended on injuring Don? No. Do I believe Dennis felt justified given the situation? Sadly, yes. Do I think the suspension is sufficient? For now, alsoly yes.

More to the point though and even more disturbing are the two recent videos of officials striking players. If we as officials are to be taken credibly, we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard of professionalism. We can't, as a community, be caught in situations like this.

Click for link to the ref punching a player then getting blown up by coach/trainer.
Click for link to the ref punching the player and then brawl ensues.

I, as much as anyone, am all too cognizant that I fall short on my professionalism. I get too lax with some players and it's misconstrued. In the same breath, I find myself far too combative with other players verbally. Sometimes I need to step back and think about a given situation and approach it differently.

Whatever our shortcomings are as officials (and yes, we all have them) the past few weeks has been a great chance to reflect on our games. At least for me, it's given me a chance to look inward. We all have room to improve. We all love this game and we're in a position to pass the tradition of this game and officiating on to another generation. I just hope that I'm passing on the best aspects of that tradition.

I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to say too much. I hope I've said enough.

Here's some more food for thought and introspection.