WOULD YOU RATHER

Heal Skin or Speak to the Dead

2010-04-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
Heal Skin

About:
-Heal scars, scrapes, cuts, diseases, rashes, etc.
-You heal the skin by hovering over the damaged area with your hand and concentrating.
-Healing the skin is tiresome. Healing one scraped knee is as tiring as running a mile.
-Like with running, you can build up your endurance.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You can only heal the skin.
-If the skin is removed entirely, you can replace it, but only if there was skin initially. (ex. You could replace a burn victim's skin, but you couldn't create skin on teeth or anything like that. I'm not sure why you'd want to anyway, but you can't.)

Choice 2
Speak to the Dead

About:
-For one hour every month, you can speak to the dead.
-It is as though you are talking with them at the last moment they were alive. They have all the knowledge of the things that happened in their life, but they can't communicate anything about the afterlife.
-It is set up as though you were talking to them via satellite. They appear on a TV, or laptop, or something like that.
-You can record the conversation.
-They have the ability to speak your language.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You can only speak to one person a month.
-They cannot communicate anything regarding the afterlife.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Beat Up or Lay An Egg

2010-04-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
Beat Up

About:
-Every day for the rest of your life you will encounter a very large, slightly overweight man in a leather bondage costume. He will have a mask with a zipper mouth opening, assless chaps, and a tight latex tank top. His body will be quite hairy and his chest will be covered in hair that is small, blond, and extremely curly.
-He will proceed to beat you uncontrollably for 5 minutes. Not much is off limits. He can break bones, throw you through windows, and slam your head in doors.
-The 5 minutes counts down only when you are being beaten. Running away or avoiding him will not be counted toward the clock. The bondage man will pursue you relentlessly until the 5 minutes is up. Therefore, running is futile.
-Immediately after the beating, all wounds, clothes, broken furniture is miraculously back to normal and without damage. Physically, you end up feeling exactly as you had before the encounter. This excludes any mental trauma.
-The attack can happen at any time within the 24 hour timeframe of the day—the bondage man has no mercy for wedding days, job interviews, or time spent with loved ones or lovers.
-What motivates the bondage man’s actions is that he truly loves you and this is the only way he knows how to express it. He only grunts and moans during his encounters with you. However, no sexual actions can be taken toward you.
-The bondage man is practically immortal and will haunt you for the rest of your life.
-If bystanders or friends try to stop him from beating you, the bondage man will not directly hurt them. He will only use force to remove them from his trajectory toward you. It is possible that in the process friends may fall or get hurt while being pushed aside.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot forewarn anyone about the bondage man or imply that this is a regular occurrence. If you do, you will die.

Choice 2
Lay An Egg

About:
-Every day for the rest of your life, you must lay an egg.
-The egg takes 1 hour to lay and requires a moderate level of concentration comparable to keeping your eyes on a tennis ball during a professional match.
-If you break your concentration at any point during the lay, the egg will retreat back to where it began and you will then have to start over.
-You may initiate the egg laying process at any time during the day.
-Anatomically speaking, the egg is ejected through the same orifice from which fecal matter is released and the egg is 1.5 times the size of a normal chicken egg.
-If you do not lay the egg by midnight each day, you die instantaneously.

Rules or Restrictions:
- You cannot use your egg laying ability as a means toward fame or fortune. Therefore, you cannot tell anyone about this ability. What you choose to do with the eggs is up to you. We suggest keeping around a few good omelet recipes.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Healthy Food Tastes Great or Autopilot Ability

2010-04-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
The Healthier Food is, the Better it Tastes

About:
-From this point on how good food tastes will be based on how good it is for you. For example, since bacon cheeseburgers are bad for you, they will taste disgusting, like pubes soaked in pee, or something like that. If you like the taste of pubes soaked in pee, bacon cheeseburgers will just taste like something you don’t like.
-Things like spinach and brussel sprouts will taste better than you could have possibly imagined.
-You will no longer desire unhealthy food. You will not miss it.
-You will get at least the same satisfaction from eating healthy foods that you may have had after eating unhealthy food previously. Unhealthy food no longer gives you the same satisfaction.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Choice 2
Autopilot Ability

About:
-From this point on you will have the ability to go into autopilot mode.
-While in autopilot mode, you can perform simple tasks such as laundry, cleaning, or riding in an airplane or in a car.
-You cannot do activities that require more thinking, like homework
-It is as if you actually lived through the period, so you don’t feel like you’ve been resting when you return.
-You can go into and come out of autopilot mode whenever you wish.
-You can have up to fifteen short phrases that you will say in autopilot mode.
-If met with a reason to speak that cannot be satisfied by one of the fifteen phrases, autopilot mode will pick the closest one. If that doesn’t work, you will exit autopilot mode.
-This is beneficial for all of the times where you wished you could fast forward time.
-There is no chance of being trapped in autopilot mode. It will never malfunction.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Pogo-Stick or Murder One Pet A Year

2010-03-26T00:11:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
Become a Professional Pogo-Sticker

About:
-From this point on you must work full time riding a pogo stick.
-The only way you can make money or gain any sort of recognition or glory is from pogo stick riding.
-Coaching and opening pogo stick riding camps or academies does not count. It all has to be from riding the pogo-stick.
-You are not automatically good at pogo-sticking. You have to learn, just like anything else.
-Spousal support is okay.

Rules or Restrictions:
-Parental, friend, or sibling support is not okay.
-If you get injured or sick and are unable to pogo-stick, you cannot get another job.
-If your spouse tries to make you get another job, or ask why you don't do something else, you cannot say that you are forced to pogo-stick. You can only say that it is your passion and you could never do anything else.

Choice 2
Murder One Pet Every Year

About:
-You must murder one pet in the time between January 1 and December 31 of every year. If it started today, you would not have a full year.
-The pet must be a cat or dog.
-The pet must have a name.
-The pet must have been with the family for at least a year.
-The pet must be loved by the family.
-You must kill it with your bare hands.
-It is okay if the pet is already sick.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot tell anyone why you are doing it or that you are doing it.
-If you do not kill a pet within the year you will die.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Never Fall or World's Greatest Arguer

2010-03-19T03:46:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
Never Fall

About:
-From this point on you cannot unintentionally fall down.
-This includes flying in an airplane. If you are on an airplane, it will never fall from the sky and crash.
-Because you cannot unintentionally fall down, you will be really good at extreme sports, and you could use your ability to make money.
-If you are about to fall, the universe auto-corrects your position, and places you upright.
-The auto-correct alters your movement in a way similar to how auto-tune corrects your pitch...so it looks kind of screwy.
-You can fall intentionally, if you so desire.
-You could ride a unicycle instantly.
-You could dominate figure skating.
-You could hold the world record for longest handstand even if you can’t do a handstand.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Choice 2
World's Greatest Arguer

About:
-From this point on you have the ability to become the world’s greatest arguer.
-You can sway many people’s minds to believe what you want them to believe.
-You can only sway the minds of reasonable people. For example, you could sway the mind of someone to believe that Happy Gilmore is Adam Sandler’s best film, but you could not sway an extremist into considering the opposing view any more than usual. If they aren’t listening to you, they are tuning out your power.
-You are only great at arguing on topics that you are knowledgeable in. However, you can study and gain more knowledge in subjects.
-Term papers and debates will be a breeze, as long as you are somewhat prepared.
-Your arguments will not only be sound in their logic, but elegant in their execution.
-You would make a great lawyer.
-You would be a desirable candidate to work in settings like the president’s cabinet, high profile trials, or in scholarly debates.
-You can use this ability to make money.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Inner Monologue or Lick Bathroom

2010-03-11T23:37:00.000-08:00

This is the third episode in our first series of would you rathers. It's a brand new question. Please vote and comment below.

Choice 1
Inner Monologue on Display

About:
-All internal thoughts voiced in your head are displayed on a scrolling marquee floating above your head.
-Feelings of internal anger, sexual attraction, and judgment are all on display for whoever wants to see.
-The display is large enough that if you were riding a public bus, everyone would see the marquee.
-The display will have an auto-translation feature that displays in whatever language a specific viewer is most fluent in.
-Suggested strategies might include mentally singing your favorite tune to avoid embarrassing yourself in sensitive situations, trying to stay as mindless as possible, etc.
-Your current friends will most likely continue to like you. However, meeting new people and making a good first impression may be much more difficult.
-The only way to obscure your marquee is to interact with others via webcam or a medium that only shows your face.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot cover up the marquee in any way. If you try to put on a large hat to obscure it, it will only look like the marquee is being displayed with a large hat background image. The colors will automatically change to contrast with the background.

Choice 2
Lick NYC Subway Bathroom

Note: It's unlikely you'll be stuck with a bathroom this bad, but I could only find really clean or really dirty bathrooms as examples.

About:
-Once a year, it will be your duty to clean a NYC subway bathroom with only your tongue. When you are done with it, it must be spotless as judged by a slightly balding bathroom cleaning monitor named Mr. Nathaniel.
-You will have one week to clean the bathroom during which it will not be in use by the public.
-Mr. Nathaniel is generally an understanding man who appreciates hard work and steady effort. Throughout the week, he will give you periodic updates on your progress and will be very clear about what he expects from you.
-If you are successful in a number of years, Mr. Nathaniel will grow to be a friend and you will receive a yearly Christmas card from him and his dog Ted.
-The bathroom will be chosen randomly but will at most be a two toilet bathroom with perhaps one urinal.
-Your cleaning duty assignment will be telegraphed to you at a random time each year. It most likely will not occur at regular intervals and may disrupt carefully planned events such as family vacations, graduations, or weddings.
-You will be given full healthcare coverage and can discuss the risks with a highly skilled doctor and take the proper precautions to avoid any disease. However, you are not innately immune to any diseases.
-If you are losing work due to your cleaning duties, you will be put on paid vacation and your job will be understanding of your absence.

Rules or Restrictions:
-If you do not clean the bathroom to Mr. Nathaniel’s liking in a week, he will be forced to kill you in the bathroom with a rusty hammer suspended from his trusty tool belt.
-Although Mr. Nathaniel is generally a jolly man that would greatly regret having to kill you, he is also the type of man that gets done what needs to be done even if it is regrettable.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Lego Builder or Have Clean Shit

2010-03-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

This is the second episode in our first series of would you rathers. This one is brand new. Please cast your vote and comment below.

Choice 1
Top Two Lego Builder

About:
-For the rest of your life you are either the world’s greatest Lego builder, or the world’s second greatest Lego builder.
-The skill is gained instantly.
-There can be money in this if you choose to live the life of a Lego builder.
-If you decide to live the life of a Lego builder, competition will arise in the form of a foe from Russia. His name is Ivan Ivanov.
-Year after year, you and Ivan will battle for the title of world’s greatest Lego builder.
-You and Ivan go back and forth one upping each other. For example, when Ivan made an actual size Eiffel Tower that was heralded as the greatest Lego creation ever, you countered by making an actual size Eiffel Tower upside down.
-You will develop a deep hatred for him, while still maintaining a level of respect for his craft.
-Up and coming Lego builders will list you as a major influence on their life, and will often say you were the reason they got into the business...so in that way, you will change people’s lives.
-Once or twice in your life as a Lego builder, you will be asked to appear on a late night talk show. This will be the pinnacle of any mainstream notoriety you experience.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You do not have to exercise this ability. It is simply a skill that you possess.

Choice 2
Have Clean Shit

No toilet paper? No problem.

About:
-From this point forward you will no longer have to wipe your butt after pooping.
-This will be very helpful if you’re camping, or are somewhere else where you need to poop, but do not want to spend much time with the process.
-You will be free from any worry of sharting.
-You will have no need for toilet paper.
-If you do wipe your butt with toilet paper after pooping, nothing will appear on the toilet paper. It will be as clean as a clean thing.
-You will never have to worry about skid marks.
-The poop is still dirty. It is only the evidence that the poop was there that disappears.

Rules or Restrictions:
-This does not remove the possibility of pooping your pants. If you do poop your pants, it will be dirty...you know, because the poop is still dirty.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Suck Elbows or Make Pancakes

2010-02-26T15:49:00.000-08:00

This is the first episode(?) in our first series of video would you rathers. We thought we'd start it off with a classic. There is a gigglefest in the middle. Please cast your vote, and comment below.

Choice 1
Suck Elbows

About:
-You must suck the elbows of three different people each day for at least 30 seconds. The action is similar to a child breastfeeding.
-If you do not suck three new elbows within 24 hours of waking up, you die.

Rules or Restrictions:
-Elbow sucking must be consensual. In other words, the suckee must not oppose.
-The elbow sucking does not count if you tell the person that you will die or will be harmed if they do not agree.
-You cannot pay off someone to suck their elbow.
-You can never re-suck the same person again.

Choice 2
Make Pancakes

About:
-You must make 1000 pancakes each day within 24 hours of waking up or else you will die.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You may not receive any sort of assistance in the pancake making process.
-All 1000 pancakes MUST be eaten by a human or else you will die.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Series Introduction

2010-02-25T23:09:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, we have some exciting stuff headed your way...it's videos, and would you rathers. Did I just ruin the surprise? I hope not.

Anyway, I'd mentioned a while ago that we had some fun new stuff in the works, and it's taken a while to get it squared away. Sorry about that.

Check back soon.

Wake Up In The Past Or Visions Of The Future

2010-01-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Relive Any Day of Your Life At Your Convenience

About:
-From now on, you have the ability to relive any day of your life.
-You can use any memory to target the day you want to pick, even if it's a vague memory.
-After you decide, you will wake up the next day and live that day all over again.
-As you live the day, you will not remember that you have warped back in time and you will not have insight regarding the future. Therefore, the day will go on exactly as it had before.
-However, when you wake up in present time the next day, you will have a fresh memory of the whole day. Then, you can reflect on the past with your more mature insight. If reinterpreting the past leads to personal growth, it will be permanent.
-Your mood will carry over from your time in the past. For example, if you were in a particularly horny mood and decided to warp back to your honeymoon, you would wake up the next day (hopefully) satisfied from your excursion to the past. Another example is if you were particularly stressed or tired, a calm day in the past will relax you the next day when you wake up.
-You will not age during your day in the past. If it is February 2nd and you decide to warp to the day of your high school prom, when you return it will be February 3rd.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot wake up in the future because you don't have any memories of your future.

Choice 2
Visions Of The Future

About:
-Each day, you will get a random 15 second visual snippet of the future.
-The vision will be from any point in the rest of your life.
-The vision will involve either you, your family, or immediate friends. The closer you are to someone, the more likely it will be that they will be involved in your visions. 67% of the visions will be exclusively about you.
-The vision will feel like something between when you are trying to recall an escaping dream and a deja vu.
-Sometimes you might not be sure of what you saw and things may be hard to interpret out of context.
-The visions represent your future if you hadn't seen the vision. Therefore, you are able to change the future by taking advantage of or acting to prevent something you saw.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Always on TV or Hourly Shock

2010-01-10T16:57:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Always on TV

About:
-Starting immediately a TV channel is dedicated to a live broadcast of your life for the next eight years.
-There are no commercials.
-You won’t see the cameras.
-The channel comes with basic cable.
-Some people love you, others hate you, and neither of those people hesitate to let you know.
-People know everything about you and where you are at all times, so if they wanted access to you, it would be really easy for them, unless you had a very elaborate security system and/or body guards.
-Friends of yours might not be comfortable with the situation, and they might only show up to promote their own stuff.
-You are never paid for this, and you never receive any sort of money as a result of your fame.
-You don’t get any special treatment (like access to exclusive parties) because of your fame from the show while it’s on, or after it’s complete.
-Your showers, bathroom breaks, intimate moments with others, etc. are all broadcast without any obstruction of view.
-Passwords, pin numbers, etc. are blurred out on screen.
-The network wins many awards, but you receive zero praise by critics. It’s only the directors and producers that get the Emmy’s, Golden Globes, etc.
-After the show, most don’t miss you on TV, and nobody offers you additional TV or movie parts.

Rules or Restrictions:
-There’s absolutely nothing you can do to avoid having your life broadcast. Even blowing up the station or tampering with equipment will be useless.
-You cannot get money from advertising during the show, or after. However, your friends and family members can.
-You can’t tell anyone that you weren’t a willing volunteer for the show, or else you will die at the hands of a stalker who does creepy sexual things with your body after you’re dead.

Choice 2
Hourly Shock

About:
-From this point forward you receive a shock every hour on the hour for the rest of your life.
-The shock lasts somewhere between 1-5 seconds.
-The shock has the intensity of a stun gun.
-The shock itself is never strong enough to kill you, but it could set off a chain of events that result in your death.
-You are really being shocked, and are not immune to any side effects.
-Driving would be really dangerous if you felt the shock then.
-The feeling of the shock originates in a random place every time, but you feel it throughout your body by the end of the shock.
-You cannot sleep through the shock.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot tell anyone about the shock, or else you die because your blood coagulates completely inside your body.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

A Few Cool Things

2009-12-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

We've got a few cool things to share. Our buddy Mikey
at Chronicles of the Nerds sent a post out regarding our site. By the way, if you haven't checked their site out yet, you should do so, because it's pretty cool; they've done interviews with John Cleese, Bob Saget, Broken Lizard, etc.

So this band (Asteroid M)
is friends with Chronicles of the Nerds, and they saw Mikey's post, and really liked our site. They liked it so much that they decided to do some of our Would You Rathers on their podcast (yes, they are a band with a podcast...cleverly titled PodcAsteroid M).

This is the first one they did containing a Would You Rather. They start talking about us at 22:47.

Professional Pogo-Sticker or Murder One Pet a Year

This is the most recent podcast of theirs. They play Would You Rather at 13:00.

Panda-like Centaur or Butt-Fuck Jesus

I would like to encourage everyone to go and check out Asteroid M and their podcast. They're from Portland, OR and they play high quality music. You can download their song Chinese Medicine Balls for free here.

Also, now that both Steve and I are off on winter break, we're planning to rework some of the site and add some cool stuff, so definitely keep checking back for that.

I'm not sure how to end this...

Yours Truly,
-Chris

The Comeback Kid or Reverse Dirtiness

2009-12-21T05:02:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
The Comeback Kid

About:
-From now on, whenever you are insulted or put down in any way, you will have always have the perfect reply.
-Never again will you walk away from a situation thinking, "Damn, I should have said this instead," because what you actually said will have already been perfect.
-Just imagine that at the time you are insulted, time is stopped and an elite panel of writers, comedians, and witty people work together to come up with and insert the perfect reply into your brain. Then time is resumed.
-The ability works when you are in a group of people and the entire group is insulted.
-You have control on whether you want the "comeback" purely funny, viciously stinging, or both. In some cases, you can also turn it into charm. For example, if you are getting grilled at a tough job interview, you can combat the negative energy with witty replies.

Rules or Restrictions:
-On the whole, this ability doesn't make you a witty or charming person.
-It works when you are directly insulted and when people are generally mean to you (or your friends).
-Basically, it is a tool for fighting any negativity directed your way.

Choice 2
Reverse Dirtiness

About:
-Everything you interact with miraculously becomes cleaner. As you eat, your plate becomes cleaner and cleaner to the point where when you're done, you can just put the dish back in the cupboard. After using the bathroom, the next person in will smell an elegant mist of countryside air.
-The effect is not instantaneous but continual. Holding a dirty dish for about fifteen minutes will make it clean. Sitting in a bathroom for an hour will make it spotless.
-The effect is additive. If you use the same bathroom every day, chances is are that it will always be spotless.

Rules or Restrictions:
-Using the power to do other people's chores is not as easy as it sounds. Your clothes will always be clean because they're always with you. However, if you were to do someone else's laundry by sitting on their hamper, it would probably take just as long as actually doing laundry. Or if you were to clean someone else's dish, you could hold it for fifteen minutes, or just wipe it down in the same amount of time.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Glory, Power, and Influence or Kindness = Freedom

2009-12-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Every Time You Enter a Room People Celebrate You

About:
-This lasts for one hour, and when the hour is complete, things return to normal, but your influence remains.
-You can refresh the power by simply leaving to go to the bathroom, or something, and then re-entering the room.
-You have the power to be very influential.
-People hang on your every word.
-It is not uncommon for you to be greeted with cheers and applause.
-People will listen to you and obey if you ask for privacy.
-You could use it to take advantage of people if you wanted, but if you choose to do so, 10% of people will greet you with hate equivalent to the other's adoration.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot use the power for your own political gain, but you can influence politicians if you desire.

Choice 2
Any Small Act of Kindness Shown by You Results in an Innocent Person Being Freed

Innocent man walks out of jail after 27 years @ Yahoo! Video

About:
-A small act of kindness could be something like holding a door for someone, or picking up something a person dropped and handing it back to them.
-The people who are freed could be on death row, or they could be a kid in detention for something someone else did. It has a very wide range.
-The person who can make a difference uncovers a new piece of evidence that proves the person's innocence.
-The power could save people about to be murdered without reason in a non-legal situation. In that situation the person would simply escape, as there would be no evidence.
-The people who are freed are actually innocent.
-If people had committed other serious crimes that they got away with, but were imprisoned for something they didn't do, they are not freed.
-You do not gain any glory from this.
-You do not know who you free.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot tell anyone that you have this ability, or else it will be taken away from you.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Pet Dragon or Surprise Money

2009-12-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Have a REAL Pet Dragon

About:
-The dragon is big.
-You do not have to provide any assistance making sure the dragon is fed, housed, or comfortable. They can take care of his/her self.
-The dragon's gender will be whatever you would prefer.
-The dragon can fly.
-You can fly on the dragon's back safely.
-The dragon can breathe fire, but will only do so at your command, or to protect you from harm.
-The dragon can communicate with you, but not through speaking, it's more of an understanding the that the two of you have. He/she can understand commands from you though.
-The dragon is immortal until your death.
-If you decide that you don't wish to have the dragon around anymore, you can command it to leave, but it will fly over your house when you sleep waiting for you to take it back.
-You find the dragon as a baby soon.
-It takes one year for the dragon to become fully grown.

Rules or Restrictions:
-Unless you are unable to escape a dangerous situation, you cannot use the dragon as a weapon against other people.

Choice 2
Stumble Upon Money Daily

About:
-Starting tomorrow, you will stumble across small to medium amounts of money every day for the rest of your life.
-The money will be in the neighborhood of $5-$1000.
-You are surprised every time you find the money.
-If you turn the money in to the police, no one will claim it, and it will be yours without any strings attached.
-The money is teleported from other areas throughout the world where people have lost money, and forgotten about.
-There is no way that the people who lost the money would find it.
-The money can appear in currencies other than your most commonly used, but they can be easily exchanged.
-The money can appear in any form (coins, cash, money order, etc.)

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot tell anyone that you're aware of this happening.
-You must play it off like a crazy coincidence.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Baby Swapper Or Raise Someone Else's Shitty Kid

2009-11-28T23:31:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Baby Swapper

About:
-Each year, you must swap at least one pair of babies between mothers.
-You have three years of preparation time.
-The swap can occur anywere--at the hospital nursery, social gatherings, or daycare. Though, I'd get on it early before the mother gets used to what their child looks like.
-You can stop after 35 years or when you are 55 years old, whatever takes LONGER.

Rules or Restrictions:
-If the mother finds out that her baby has been swapped within that year, it doesn't count.
-You are legally responsible for your actions if you are caught.
-If you fail to accomplish your swap in any year, you die.

Choice 2
Raise Someone Else's Shitty Kid

About:
-Think of some jackass dude in your life. The kind of person who tries to pile all their work on you, blame you for their wrong-doings, and talks bad about you to your supervisor when you're not around.
-That person will leave for a vacation to some douchey-sounding place (like "Bahrain") and leave their newborn kid with you for some reason or another.
-The person dies in a tragic "parasailing" accident and you are through some complicated court decision, forced to be the legal guardian of the child.
-You must then raise the child to adulthood and be there for him for the rest of his life like any normal parent.
-From very early, you will know that the child has very limited potential--she/he will not be very bright, will take forever to understand anything or learn how to play any sports, will have a C- average in school, and won't learn how to read the time on a clock until age 17.
-The child's interests will be in weird things in which you have very little understanding. For example, if you're the all-American type that likes playing and talking sports, the kid will be into various role-playing games that include wizards, sorcerers, and mages.
-Sometimes the child will seem to lose a grip on reality and get lost in his own fantasy world--for example, he may be more interested in trying to date the elves of the "whispering glen" than asking a real person out to a dance.
-He/she will want to bathe very rarely.

Rules or Restrictions:
-The child has to feel loved by you forever--if you give the child any reason to doubt that you do not care for him/her like a normal parent, you will die.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Speak 15 Languages or Presidential Shout-Out

2009-11-24T11:33:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Have the Ability to Speak 15 Languages of Your Choice

About:
-You can choose any language that is spoken today. You cannot choose a dead language and just be the expert on it.
-You are completely fluent in speaking the languages, and understanding others who speak them.
-You sound like a native speaker.
-The 15 languages are separate from ones that you already know, so you wouldn't have to pick English as one (I'm assuming that's how you're reading this post...if not, let us know because that's awesome!).
-You don't have the ability to read and write all the languages, but if they're close, you could probably figure a lot of it out.
-You could choose sign language as one if you wanted.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Choice 2
Have the President of the U.S.A. Give You a Shout-Out During the State of the Union Every Year

About:
-The president will give you a shout-out of 50 words or less during the State of the Union.
-You can write what you want to be said, but it must be about you.
-The president will plug a project or business for you as part of the 50 words if you want.
-If you don't want the president to say anything, you can choose not to have a shout-out that year.
-If the president is asked why they gave you a shout-out and how they know you, they'll just say that you're a friend.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Jackson Hole, Wyoming or Soup and Cereal

2009-11-22T14:19:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Meet Everyone in Jackson Hole, Wyoming Within 5 Years

About:
-You have 5 years to meet everyone currently listed in the Jackson Hole, Wyoming phone book.
-You must shake their hand. If they do not have hands, just hang around for 30 seconds.
-If they refuse to shake your hand, the task will be complete when you tell them your name, and where you're from.
-You must meet face to face.
-If someone dies, you must meet their closest relative not listed in the phone book. If they have no other relatives, then you are off the hook for that person.
-If you do not meet everyone in Jackson Hole within 5 years, you die.
-In 2000, Jackson Hole had a population of 8,647. It increased by 4,175 from 1990.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You cannot tell anyone why you actually have to meet them. If you do, you will die. Lying is okay, and probably necessary.

Choice 2
Only Eat Soup and Cereal

About:
-For the rest of your life, you can only eat soup or cereal.
-Chowders and Bisques are considered soups.
-Your beverage habits do not need to change.
-You can create soups, but you cannot try to reimagine what soup is just to have what you want. For example, you can't put a cheeseburger in warm water just because you want a cheeseburger.
-If you eat anything that is not soup or cereal, you will become sick instantly and will need 2 days to recover. This includes soup crackers eaten before they're placed in the soup.
-Soup crackers are okay after they are placed inside the soup.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You may not tell anyone why you can only eat soup and cereal. If you do, you will die.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

How to Play

2009-11-22T13:15:00.000-08:00

Would You Rather is a game most people have played at one point in their lives. While there are many different variations to the game, the basics of the game are consistent. You will be asked to select what you would rather do from a series of two choices. Selecting neither of the choices is not an option. This is what makes the game fun, so I'll repeat it: selecting neither of the choices is NOT AND OPTION. The choices are typically either both negative or both positive (though there can be choices with both pros and cons). Players are encouraged to ask questions to help make one of the choices rise above the other.

Some people play the game with a time limit on the questions, and when the time limit is reached, all players must answer with the information they have. THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLAY.

Some people play the game where the creator of the question determines that one of the answers is correct for one reason or another, and informs the players who was right after a certain amount of time. Though some of our questions were created with this type of play in mind, THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLAY.

Some people play the game where players do not have to explain their answers. THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLAY. We believe that explaining the answers is one of the best parts of the game as it allows for more discussion, and more opportunities for laughs.

HOW WE PLAY:
-Players must select one of the two options. Choosing neither is not an option.
-Players must explain why they selected that option.
-There is no time limit.
-There are no right or wrong answers.

*We encourage players to be competitive, as this also raises the level of discussion and opportunities for hilarity. Tell the other players why you're right and they're wrong (even though there are no right or wrong answers).

Wake Up Somewhere New or Fishtank Pants

2009-11-18T12:31:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Wake Up Somewhere New

About:
-For the next thirty years, you wake up somewhere new on Monday morning.
-You will randomly warp somewhere on land (not in the ocean) and in a safe place (not in a volcano or in front of an approaching avalanche). Though, you may warp somewhere secluded or in a deep chasm or something.
-Everything you wear to bed, including the contents of you pockets will come with you. You can also pack one hiker's backpack to warp with you.
-If you try to not fall asleep Sunday night, at some point, you'll automatically fall into slumber and warp. Then you'll end up just being tired the next day.
-You can use whatever money you currently have, support from family/friends/significant other, or earnings you make as you warp around the world.
-You have at least one full week to prepare.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Choice 2
Wear Fishtank Pants

About:
-You must create a sustainable habitat where fish can live in your pants.
-You have one week to design your pants before the rule comes into effect.

Rules or Restrictions:
-The water must be in direct contact with the skin around your body.
-For the rest of your life, at least one fish must be alive in your pants at any one time, or else you die.
-The fish must be at least the size of an average goldfish and must be provided at lease one gallon of water.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Predict Snippets of the Immediate Future or Posse of Bathroom-Cleaning Gnomes

2009-11-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Predict Snippets of the Immediate Future

About:
-You will have a very limited ability to "predict what happens next."
-You can exercise this ability once a day and you will know what happens in regard to an event within 15 seconds.
-For example, in the final seconds of a sports game, you can know who will win. You can guess who will be the next person to walk through a door. You can know what someone is about to tell you before it happens.

Rules or Restrictions:
-The ability will not work if you try to use it earn more than five dollars.

Choice 2
Posse of Bathroom-Cleaning Gnomes

About:
-Soon you will befriend a posse of gnomes who are about 1ft tall and have an uncanny ability to clean bathrooms.
-You will somehow impress, charm, or have them mistake you as their god and they will follow you around everywhere. When the time comes for you to relieve yourself, they will rush into the bathroom and make it spotless within thirty seconds. The bacteria/germ count will be practically zero.
-They don't expect anything in return except maybe a high five, or a "good job" every now and then.
-You can ask them to hang low or wait around the corner until you send them a text saying you need their services, but they will generally be within a block of wherever you are at all times.

Rules or Restrictions:
None

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Teleport or Wake Up Feeling Amazing

2009-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Teleport Up to 25ft. Away

About:
-Starting from this moment, you have the ability to teleport.
-Teleporting within 5ft. is effortless, but it becomes progressively more tiring as you go farther away.
-Teleporting the full 25ft. away is as tiring as sprinting 50 yards.
-You can build up your endurance, but it is a slow process.

Rules or Restrictions:
-You can only teleport up to 25ft. away.
-You can only teleport where you can see.
-Teleportation cannot be used to assist in any illegal activities (stealing, murder, etc.).

Choice 2
Wake Up Feeling Amazing

About:
-From this moment on, every day you wake up, you will feel amazing.
-You will wake up feeling refreshed.
-You will feel good about yourself, and the things that you're doing.
-Everyone seems happy.
-Food tastes amazing.
-You feel proud and accomplished.
-When you wake up, you're anxious to start your day.
-Approximately one hour after waking up, you will slowly fade into the mood that you would be in normally.

Rules or Restrictions:
-Feeling only occurs if you've slept for 2+ hours.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Panda-like Centaur or Butt-Fuck Jesus

2009-11-03T22:23:00.000-08:00

Choice 1
Live the Rest of Your Life as a Panda-like Centaur

Things to consider:
-From the belly down, you are a panda.
-Your body is more tolerant of typical panda food (bamboo), and less tolerant of typical human food.
-You're able to eat what you normally do, but it may give you stomach aches, so you'll proabably want to alter your diet.
-This occurs in the world as we know it, so you will be the only one of your kind.
-You will be viewed as either a miracle, or as an abomination of nature, depending on who you talk to.
-It is very likely that you will be tested regularly.
-You have the ability to mate and produce offspring with both pandas and humans.
-The offspring will be panda centaurs.
-Since you are half-panda though, you just may not feel like mating.
-You will not be able to drive a car legally.
-You have the same human language capabilities that you have now, and improved understading of how pandas communicate. However, you aren't able to communicate as well as a real panda.
-As time goes on, you begin to feel less aligned with humans, and more animalistic.
-People who see you as an abomination of nature may want to harm you.

Choice 2
Erect a 40ft. Fountain Depicting Yourself Butt-Fucking Jesus

Things to consider:
-There must always be a 40ft. tall fountain that depicts yourself butt-fucking Jesus.
-This is the Jesus from the bible...there are no exceptions or loopholes here. If you cannot tell that it's Jesus, then it will not count.
-You must live with the fountain on a 1 acre plot of land in Mississippi, Alabama, or Texas.
-You may want to have multiple fountains working at the same time just in case one is damaged. That is okay, but only the one you live with counts at the time.
-You will be portrayed as powerful and god-like.
-Jesus will be portrayed as scared, and weak. (He might be crying)
-The fountain must show penetration.
-If you are a guy uncomfortable with the size of your penis, it can be altered to match your requests.
-For girls, the fountain can depict you butt-fucking Jesus with either a strap-on dildo, or with a penis.
-There must be an informational plaque at the base of the fountain that gives the title of the fountatin (Butt-fucking Jesus Christ), your name, and the date the fountain was erected.
-How the fountain is made is unimportant.
-If the fountain is defaced, you have one week to clean it.
-The fountain must be working.
-The fountain must be outside, and cannot have anything within 50 yards on any side of it, and anything outside of that cannot be used to intentionally obstruct the view.
-If Christians saw the fountain, they would become very upset, and may try to destroy the statue, or harm you.
-If many people see it, there will be a group that forms and believes you to be one of the most revolutionary and purposeful artists of our time. They will try to protect you from the Christians.
-If there is not at least one fountain erected at all times within a year from now, you will die by accidentaly lighting yourself on fire.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Transition to Opposite Gender or Forced Philanthropy

2009-10-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
Transition to Opposite Gender

Things to consider:
-Over the next six years, you will slowly transition to the opposite gender. It will basically be like going through puberty all over again.
-After you go through the awkward transition stage, you will fully become the opposite gender and actually be VERY attractive. At least 95% more attractive than others of that gender.
-Your genitals will also change, but your mind will remain exactly the same, including your sexuality.
-How would your current significant other react (if applicable)?

Choice 2
Forced Philanthropy

Things to consider:
-60% of all your income MUST go to a charity of your choosing, forever.
-The rule applies to any gifts, bonuses, spontaneous inheritances. If you acquire material goods, you must periodically sell 60% of the total worth and donate it.
-The rule will come into effect for your significant other if you enter a relationship for more than 2 years. If your significant other refuses and you stay together, you die.
-Every year or so, you will be publicly recognized for your philanthropist activity on the national stage (at least on prime-time TV) and you will be portrayed very favorably.
-The money that goes toward the 60% has to belong to you. As in, you can't ask people to donate to your charity and count it toward the 60%.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Emergency! or Give Kids Drugs

2009-10-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

Choice 1
Feign an Emergency Once a Month

Things to consider:
-Once a month, while you are out and about, a man will randomly walk up to you and give you a signal. It is then your responsibility to create commotion and emergency-related chaos. Feign a heart attack, get in a car accident. It's up to you. BUT--
-Your emergency situation MUST inconvenience at least 50 lives or it doesn't count.
-It is your responsibility to be out and about and get the task done once a month. In other words, you can't live as a hermit. You must go out and risk getting the signal.
-If you fail to do this once a month, you die by guillotine.
-You are NOT immune from any legal repercussions for setting off emergencies all the time.

Choice 2
Give Kids Drugs

Things to consider:
-Twice a year, you must find a child (below 18) who has never used drugs and become the major reason that they try drugs.
-It must be a "street" drug. Alcohol and marijuana do not count.
-The child has to take and use the drugs by his own will. You cannot inject someone, spike their drink, or tie them up and drug them.
-You will be guillotined at midnight on new year's if you fail to accomplish your mission that year.
-You CANNOT get in legal trouble for your actions. The drugs are supplied to you in a legal manner and the police are on your side, so if you get reported for something, they won't look into it.

Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)

Beat Up or Lay an Egg
	Beat Up
	Lay an Egg

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Suck Elbows or Make 1000 Pancakes
	Suck Elbows
	Make 1000 Pancakes

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Glory, Power, and Influence or Kindness Equals Freedom
	Glory, Power, and Influence
	Kindness Equals Freedom

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Pet Dragon or Found Money
	Pet Dragon
	Found Money

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	Predict Immediate Future
	Bathroom-Cleaning Gnomes

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	Professional Pogo-Sticker
	Murder One Pet a Year

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	World's Greatest Arguer

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The Comeback Kid or Reverse Dirtiness
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Baby Swapper Or Raise Someone Else's Shitty Kid
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	Soup and Cereal

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	Wake Up Somewhere New
	Fishtank Pants

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	Teleport
	Wake Up Feeling Amazing

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	Live as a Panda-like Centaur
	Erect a 40ft. Fountain of Yourself Butt-Fucking Jesus

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Transition to Opposite Gender or Forced Philanthropy
	Transition to Opposite Gender
	Forced Philanthropy

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Create Emergencies or Give Kids Drugs
	Create Emergencies
	Give Kids Drugs

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