My aunts and myself with Grandma (we missed my only girl-cousin and my mom! Wish you guys could have been there...)

Last night was her 87th birthday party, at my aunt and uncle’s house. When this family gets together, the wine flows like water and conversation flies thick and fast. We spare no one in our jokes and we are more than willing to make any person the butt of any hearty laugh. This family is a group of talented story-tellers, a trait they inherited from my grandfather, and of keen observers, a gift from my grandmother.

She sits in the kitchen with the girls as we laugh and talk, as Michelle stirs the Paella and we hear the deeper rumble of the menfolk’s laughter and Uncle Dud’s booming storytelling from the other room. She is easily confused now, one moment she tells me a story about ice skating as a kid in Ohio, the next she seems unsure of who I am.

I feel terrible that I didn’t record her stories when she was more able to remember them, that I don’t have a written record of her incredible life to share with the world. I regret not listening more, not honoring her memories like I should have – now that her reminiscing days are slowly fading away, it seems I’ve let this treasure trove slip through my fingers. Because what are we, if not the strands of those who’ve gone before? At the party, we found a photo of my grandfather from the late 1930′s and it could have easily been my brother, hands in his pockets and cap sitting back on a full head of hair, standing confidently on an Eastern Sierra snowbank. The realization of how much we inherit from those who’ve gone before struck me as I looked at the photograph, my grandfather’s adolescent, piercing gaze penetrating me through sepia tones and long-gone clothing styles.

My grandmother is frail now, but she paved the way for us. She survived polio and even traveled the world despite her physical handicaps, finally marrying a my grandfather in California and bravely saying good-bye to the life she knew in Ohio. She showed us all how to stand up to a societal mores and get a college degree and a high-paying job when such a thing was incredibly rare for a woman. She then graciously made the choice to stay home with her four kids and show all of us what love looks like – so much so that when we, the grandkids, came along, we were raised in her footsteps by our parents, who’d seen good parenting modeled first-hand. She has long been a faithful Catholic and unwavering believer – soldiering on through every trial, every lonely moment since my grandfather passed away, every infirmity.

I feel so honored to have grown up in the tradition of faithfulness, goodness and hard work that my grandparents exemplified. They lived through extraordinary circumstances and created a family that we relish now, one that couples common-sense with good humor and impatience with the echo of my grandfather’s booming laugh. I only hope that I can do them credit, now that I’m old enough to appreciate their legacy. Someday perhaps I’ll write their story, at least for my own sake, so that I don’t cheapen the legacy I have or allow petty differences to get in the way of loving the family God gave me. I hope it’s not too late to record the story of a girl from Ohio and a boy from Huntington Beach who loved us enough to give us an example of how we should live.

My great-uncles and I thought we'd help blow out her candles. Wasn't that nice of us?

But I am still happy and toasty, toasty, as whenever it gets wet, I get to wear these:

Aren’t these JUST THE CUTEST? I have been known to pray for rain just so I can legitimately wear them. You will also be very proud to know that I bought them at Costco, AKA My Happy Place or the Best Place on Earth, or the Land of the Great Deal, or the Home of my Frugal Heart…. I’m still working on my AKA skills. Stay tuned.

Guess what I’m going to start working on as soon as it stops blowing and raining and I stop being so busy and important?

Planting these beauties on our back deck.

We bought them on Sunday at the Farmer’s Market, and, just like every time the sun peeks out, I have started flirting with fantasies about being a great gardener and having a healthy jungle outside our house. Don’t worry, I give these about poor babies 60 days before I manage to somehow kill them. Maybe they’ll live, though, as the tomato plant that been gasping and shivering in the neglected corner of the deck since about last August produced a beautiful tomato last week. So, you never know, hope springs eternal and all that jazz.

Three things:

I have to go to a business meeting now. I’m wearing dark-brown speckled high-waisted trousers, that I LOVE. I want a refill of Diet Coke.

Bye ’til next time!

Today, in no particular order other than the way they come to mind, I’m going to tell you 30 of the reasons my Hubs is the absolute coolest guy I know:

1. He’s vewwwy handsome. (But you knew that.)
2. He’s chivalrous. (In the land of women who slap you when you are nice to them, he still always gets the door).
3. He’s adventurous.
4. He has good taste in music and movies. (Barring perhaps the “world is ending, we obviously need to blow something huge up to save it” genre, which he unabashedly loves.)
5. He’s always supportive and proud of me.
6. He loves good food.
7. He’s generous with everyone and everything.
8. He’s a fabulous kisser. (Yep, I said it.)
9. He loves playing with kids, particularly the widdle ones. (At dinner the other night, “Uncle Adam hide-n-seek! Uncle Adam look! Uncle Adam c’mere!” was frequently heard as he made himself the available playmate for 3-year-old Asher.)
10. He’s passionate about sports, but not in a creepy fanatic way.
11. He shares his drinks/food/snacks with me, even when I’m just too silly to get my own.
12. He’s always striving to be better at everything he does.
13. He forgives easily.
14. He’s easy to be around and loves people.
15. He thinks logically and can detach his decisions from his emotions, unlike his nutty wife.
16. He likes to travel and explore new places.
17. He is dedicated and follows through on his commitments.
18. He has a great sense of humor and a sharp wit.
19. He loves art, photography and beautiful things.
20. He is always interested in something new. Last month? Learning to use a router in the woodshop. This month? Birdwatching. I’m never bored, y’all.
21. He has strong opinions, but shares them in a non-confrontational way.
22. Speaking of confrontation, he patiently listens to me rant and rave about politics.
23. He’s respectful to everyone, even people who might be a little irritating or funky-smelling.
24. He’s a good friend.
25. He still reaches for my hand as we’re walking into church, at the movie theater, on the couch, anywhere really. It still makes me feel special.
26. He is cautious with money and time, always trying to do the best things possible with both.
27. He gives solid hugs.
28. He’s strong and dependable.
29. He takes such incredible care of me, sometimes I can’t believe what a lucky girl I am.
30. He’s the one-armed-photo MASTER, as seen in every vacation photo of us ever, and in this gem from Saturday’s hike at Torrey Pines State Park in San Diego:

Happy 30th Birthday my Love!

What? You don’t think so?

Well, regardless, this floor, with its pile of receipts, notepads and file folders has been my home for the last 48 hours and it is way less than fun, and the kink in my neck probably reveals why more businesses don’t do their accounting while cross-legged on the carpet.

Also, please note the tiny little bottle of nail polish remover trying to hide itself in the upper right hand corner of the photo. Because even though I am not really a nail-polishing kind of girl, I am a wow, these numbers are making my head explode let’s do something else before my brains land all over the floor and make taxes even harder to figure out, plzthx – kind of girl. Which means that my nails look nicer today than they have in some time, if you were wondering.

Also, I finally kindof enjoyed seeing all of my business expenses and profits in one place – I have grown about 300% in one year! I really have nothing to say about that, except: holy cow I am blessed. I also learned that keeping track of those expenses and profits more than just “in my head” might be a good move. Accounting software that cheap and easy (remember that I am a WRITER, not a MATHY person): recommend away, please!

In other happy news, it’s almost 80 degrees outside and I got to eat my lunch in a tanktop on the deck, so I guess that’s another reason that working for myself kindof rocks. Also, since I wasn’t doing much writing today, I got to listen to talk radio all morning and indulge my inner 65-year-old man. So that was nice.

OK, dearies, I’m on day two of telling you the mundane details of my existence. Thank you for sticking with me and I’ll try to do better than just pictures of my cluttered floor in the future.

I’m scared.

I don’t like talking about myself, and over the last year or two I’ve gotten increasingly uncomfortable writing about myself. Maybe I’ve just realized how very large the internet really is, or how mean people can honestly be, or the dumb things that I’m prone to say – and sticking my neck out about my life and my little plans feels a little too risky.

So, instead of facing it head-on and giving my fear a solid shake-down, I’ve done the opposite. I’ve slunk away, hiding behind another blog that encourages the loud-mouth, intellectual side and leaves the day-to-day heart stuff behind. I’ve been so careful about what I say that I’ve almost forgotten how to be honest on this blog, honest about my fears and triumphs, my failures and hopes. Don’t get me wrong: I love writing about food and politics, and the wonderful people and businesses who pay me to write their copy are giving me a chance to live a dream and excel in an area I have always loved.

But I want to talk about my little stuff again, if you’ll let me. I want to poke my head out and try to write about my life. I won’t always be deep or meaningful. I won’t always be funny and snarky. But I promise to be honest. I promise to not let the fear of an anonymous commenter get me down, or the worry that my life is too small and silly to interest you.

Because it might be, and I know that. But I got into this business because I love to write, and I’m not going to ignore that impulse just because I’m worried about what I’ll say. Sis years in, and I’ve never regretted putting something on paper, but I have definitely regretted the times I’ve succumbed to my inner editor and clammed up.

So today I’m coming out of the shadows, away from my tendency to gloss over my stories and I’m kicking my nervousness to the curb. Maybe one of these days some big thing will come out of this little life of mine – and when it does, I want to have the courage to share it.

Enjoy free refills of Diet Pepsi and lots of daydreaming

Get excited about yummy salads

Hide from my loyal fanbase and avoid being pestered for autographs

And see clients and write stuff and do work. But that all obviously comes after the drinks and the food and the daydreaming.

For more information on why the Internet is on strike and how to stop online censorship from becoming a reality, click on the “Stop SOPA” ribbon on the upper-right-hand of my blog page, or click here.

Evil prevails when good men do nothing, my friends. Whether you think this impacts you or not, don’t allow your First Amendment rights to be so frittered away.

UPDATE: for a great educational video on this, click here.

I’m exhausted by my own dang self.

Today I drank a glass of “Good Belly” juice. It’s supposed to help with digestion, I think because it increases giggling on the part of the drinker.

Tax time is upon us, which means that I will sweating, cursing and pretending like I might do math for the next month or so.

We just finished the first season of Friday Night Lights, and I’m totally a believer. It helps that Adam and I both love Texas, but holy cow, this show is fabulous.

This weekend, Baby Do turns one! How time flies.

Me and Baby Do at less than one day old.

Baby Do is not the only thing that has grown since that picture was taken. In more self-absorbed news, my hair is lots longer now and I’m still befuddled by it. I think I talk about my hair more than almost anything, but it continues to be terrible. I’m a bad-hair angst addict.

My other blog just got accepted into the BlogHer network! Whoop-de-doo!

I’m re-reading Jane Eyre for what must be the millionth time. I love the language and the candor and the steadfastness of Jane’s character. It’s really a beautiful book.

OK, dearies, that’s all. My ADD is kicking in again and I think it’s time to walk outside and berate myself for not getting more things done.

Ta-ta!

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

My honey and I went to HAWAII! It was like a second honeymoon… the perfect blend of relaxation and adventure, and we got it for a bargain, which just made my little penny-pinching heart so, so happy. I’m constantly amazed at how much fun it is to be married… how we make each other laugh in airport terminals and take care of each other in the most mundane and delightful ways.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

I never talk about this, and I hate talking about it, but I have to be honest… being a diabetic was harder this year than it’s ever been. I usually handle the daily challenges this creates with a mix of good cheer, a balanced outlook and a healthy dose of denial, and this year, those kinds of remedies were not enough. 2011 was the year of the heaving, sighing, saggy sobs and complete lack of any understanding or control in this area of my life, and I feel pretty beat up by the whole experience, to be honest.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Being in meetings with all kinds of people, from multi-ethnic hipters, trying to out-skinny-jean each other, to very Tidy and Professional Older Gentlemen, and finding that I can communicate effectively and deliver aggressively.  Also, the warmth and kindness of dear friends. Even after years of close friendship, it’s still unexpected, and it’s still a joy!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle

My inability to keep a really tidy house for longer than 24 hours at a time. It’s a trial, as you might imagine.

5. Pick three words to describe 2011.

Growth, Striving, Thoughtfulness

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Success, Belief, Focus

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2011 (again, without asking).

Pushing, Running, Caring

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Atlas Shrugged, The Help, Pretty in Plaid, Demonic

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

I’m going to just answer this with girlfriends, because if I listed everybody, we’d be here all day and you’d be bored.  So:

Holli, with whom I’m constantly finding another (deeper and better) level of friendship, my small group gals and their sage advice (they talked me off of numerous cliffs), Hot D, my lunch buddy and #1 fan, Megan (who just had adorable baby #2! Holy cow.) Ami, my wrangler-buddy of olden times and dear friend with an amazing laugh, and of course my college roommates and our dear girl, AP – we send long emails waxing eloquent on each other’s hot bods and romantic/baby-related/work/life successes. It’s like the best kind of pep talk and gossip session combined, delivered to your inbox. Plus, Ashley, my sis-in-law. We together learned the value of so-late-it-barely-counts Black Friday shopping, and it was glorious. Also, Adam and I’ve recently convinced her to let her snarky, college-football-genius side run free on the Internet, and it’s amazing. You should read it here. Sam, the best-ever writing conference buddy and cheerleader I know, Kim, who is wise and funny and oh-so-thoughtful and Justis, with whom I have gotten severe giggles and shared my heart.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

This was a very business-focused year, so this is a boring answer. But learning how to manage success is almost as hard as balancing the weight of failure, and I am still finding that work/life balance.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I realized that I can’t control people. I write this while still reeling from the emotional betrayal of someone I considered a good friend, and I’m daily reminding myself that I am still responsible for my actions, no matter what the outside circumstances may be. That’s a hard thing to remember, especially when I just want to rattle someone’s brain pan and demand answers. But… (deep breath) I am not in control, and I have a responsibility to behave well, and not rattle them about because I’m hurt/mad/fill-in-the-blank.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

This year was a thoughtful year for my faith. I’m thinking a lot about emergent church thought vs. traditional Christian beliefs, about what role leaders have in the church, where I fit in, how faith impacts politics, decisions, etc. It’s hard for me to say where I’ve grown because the whole process is still in a state of flux, but I’m learning to think deeply and well about things that matter, so I guess that equals growth.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I started swimming again, I started riding (horseback) English again. I then took a long hiatus to eat butter cookies, and I’m realizing that it’s probably time to start up the whole “exercise” thing again.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

It didn’t just happen this year, but I’m embracing my role as a hospitable person and a lover of people. I don’t have the cleanest house and I’m often frustrated by my own lack of polish, but I’m learning to let that go and welcome others into our life. I’m also learning when to protect myself against hurtful meanies… the underbelly of loving people is that you will get hurt, eventually.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Ahhhhhhh…. I loved my work this year. I loved going to offices and having people feel better after a consultation about my services. I loved writing some really well-thought-out copy. I loved leading meetings with teams of bloggers, teaching people how to use the web, harnessing stories that others don’t even know they are telling. At home, I loved cooking new recipes, trying new kitchen techniques and types of food, the simple satisfaction of an empty laundry basket and a clean desk.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Balance. I like to work and I LOVE to multi-task, so overwhelming myself or over-commiting were my two biggest downfalls.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Political Tee-Vee/blogs. Especially in an election season… I could be happy as a clam just watching the talking heads and reading irate bloggers all day. Sometimes it’s good and healthy… other times I use it as an excuse to not do other things.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Writing. I didn’t do as much writing for myself as I wish I had. A learning for 2012! A close second to that would be networking. Sounds silly and old-fashioned, but I enjoy it and it has really expanded my business.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

Not to worry or dwell on bad stuff, but just move on. I’m only in control of a very miniscule piece of the universe… praise the Lord for that!

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.

Write what you believe in, don’t let your heart overcome your head, and it’s never a bad idea to call a friend, go for a walk or kiss your husband.

But I just have one request. As a fellow harried mall-goer who was foolish enough to attempt a return three days after Christmas and also thought she might get a few other things done besides simply wandering the aforementioned looney bin (aka the mall at holiday time), please. I BEG OF YOU.

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE.

I know. It sounds simple. The shortest distance between two points and all that jazz. But you people have apparently fallen down on your God-given job, because not one single solitary child walked in a straight line, despite the absolute HOARDS of them that decided to zig-zag in front of yours truly. Also, some of these tykes appear to be quite nearly grown. As in, we’re shortly going to be trusting them with a piece of heavy machinery which they will be required to hold in-between two lines and not careen into the thousands of other cars on the road, a particularly terrifying idea to contemplate when you realize that these youngsters can’t even keep their own feet going in one direction for longer than it takes to type out “OMG” into their besparkled cell phone.

Let THAT sink in for minute, eh?

So, really, I’m not making this appeal as a childless curmudgeon who has had it with widdle toddler wobbles. I’m really a public servant, just trying to keep everyone safe, (and, in the meantime, keep your cherubs from being yelled at by stressed out post-holiday errand runners).

It’s not that hard. Make your offspring walk in a straight line. In a few short years, your car insurance will thank you, and so will I.