Wrestling With Retirement

WTF Wednesday

2013-05-22T07:00:00.000-04:00

I couldn't bring myself to make fun of the news today, given the devastation in Oklahoma. My heart goes out to those who've lost loved ones, their homes, and in many cases, everything they had.

I encourage everyone who can afford it, to donate to the Salvation and the Red Cross; they need cash to help the survivors get their lives back together.

*********

EVA

Silent Sunday

2013-05-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

St. Patrick's Church, Lewiston, Maine

St. Andre's Church, Biddeford, Maine

St. Mary's Church, Biddeford, Maine

Notre Dame de Lourdes Church, Saco, Maine

The Catholic Church has 30 properties for sale in Maine, most of which are churches.

(Photos courtesy of the Portland Press Herald)

EVA

Saturday Silliness

2013-05-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed 
him -- and got a woman. 
 
 "Is Mike there?" I asked. 
 
 "He's in the shower," she responded. 
 
 "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up. 
 
 When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This 
is Mike," he said. 
 
 "You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed. 
 
 "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the 
past half-hour."

***********************

Exercise

I woke up, 
I lifted my arms,
I moved my knees, 
I turned my neck.... 
Everything made 
the same noise: 
'CrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaccccK!'

I came to a conclusion:

Heck, I am not old, I am just crispy!!!

*****************

**************

A woman found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took him to a vet.
The veterinarian found the problem was hair in the dogs ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog
could hear fine.
The vet proceeded to tell her that if she wanted to keep his from recurring, she should go to
the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dogs ears once a month. She went to
the store and bought some "Nair." At the register, the pharmacist said, "If you are use this
under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days.

She replied, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days.

"I'm not using it on my legs," the woman explained. "If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."

"Well in that case," said the pharmacist, "stay off your bicycle for about a week."\

**************

**************

EVA

WTF Wednesday

2013-05-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

It's that time again, when I peruse the news and stumble across articles that make me scratch my head and ask, "What the f*ck were they thinking??? And then I share those items with you. You're welcome.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

There's More Than One Way to Enjoy Beer.

You've heard of ear plugs? How about "ear chugs?" Below is a link to a Utube video of a woman who chugs beer with a straw through her ear! Don't try this at home, folks. Although doctors say there is a connection between the ear canal and the throat, there would have to be a hole in the ear drum for this to work, plus, the "imbiber" would be risking infection, pain, and possible hearing loss. But if you are curious, click here to see the video.

***************

Not The Mother's Day For Which She Had Hoped...

Robert Golba's mother spent the better part of Mother's Day pinned under her unconscious 51 year-old son. Robert was allegedly intoxicated when he fell on his 81 year-old mother and breaking her hip during an argument and passed out.

The woman's hip was broken in three places, their legs had become intertwined in the fall, and she was unable to extricate herself. She was eventually discovered by other family members who contacted the authorities. Golba, who was uncooperative with police, was charged with violation of a protection order his mother had filed against him.

Ah, there's nothing like family!

*************

Senior Housing Hookers?

A 76 year-old man, James Perham, and his 66 year-old neighbor, Cheryl Chaney, have been arrested for running a prostitution ring in a senior citizens housing complex. Police were called in when residents complained of drunks and drug addicts passing out in the corridors, and leaving used condoms in the rec room.

An undercover operation by the police led to Perham and Chaney, the former admitting that he had been providing crack-addicted prostitutes to some of the "younger" residents. Chaney and Perham have since been evicted from the New Jersey senior housing facility.

Hey, the government is trying to make cuts in social security and medicare, I guess they just decided to embark on an after retirement career...pimping!

*****************************

(source for above items: Huffington Post)

Enough head-scratching for today!

(In related news, I've been told it could be up to a month before the swelling goes down completely from my surgery, and it could be up to a year before the redness disappears! Wear sunscreen, people!)

EVA

Silent Sunday

2013-05-12T11:00:00.000-04:00

My younger son Jason and his new bride Tammy--photos from their wedding in Jamaica!

I think those tell the whole story!

Reflections on Mothers Day

2013-05-11T22:41:00.000-04:00

My mother, Alberta Martin, was one of six children. She was born in Maine, but her family moved to Canada, where she lived until she was fifteen. By then her mother had passed away, and she, her father and her siblings moved back to Maine. It was not an easy life; a large family being raised by their father, and none of them spoke English, French being her family’s language. She went to work in the Wayandotte Worsted Mill in Waterville. There were no OSHA laws back then regulating the hiring of minors to work in factories.

Eventually, she met my Dad, Chester Plourde and they were married. But the hard life wasn’t over. No, she gave birth to seven children and raised us with love and a firm hand. This was in a time before automatic washers, dishwashers, and when vacuum cleaners were a luxury item found only in the homes of the wealthy.

Bertha (which became her nickname) and Chester purchased a farm. Gardens were planted and Mom canned everything from strawberries, raspberries, green beans, to beets. I remember she made green tomato pickles, too. She would work all summer to stock the basement with foods that would carry us through the winter. Crab apple jelly! I remember how delicious that was on little rounds of homemade pie crust.

We had cows, pigs, and a few chickens now and then. Dad couldn’t stand the sight of blood, so once a cow or pig was butchered, it was Mom who would wrap the cuts of beef and hamburger, or pork roasts, chops and bacon for freezing. There was probably an icehouse before there was a freezer, but that was before my time.

Then there was laundry; tons of it with seven children. By the time I arrived, the youngest, Mom did have a ringer washer, but all those clothes were hung on the clothesline; there wasn’t a clothes dryer. I remember going outside and handing her the clothespins as she hung the laundry on the line, when I was too little to do any hanging myself.

One of the things I remember most about my mother was that every day at 3:00 p.m., no matter what she was doing, or what kind of a day she’d been having, she always stopped, would “freshen up” by washing her hands and face, combing here hair (removing any bobby pins she might have used to make “pin curls”), and change her clothes. She would don a clean house dress and apron, and check her appearance in the mirror. She always wanted to look nice when my father got home from working in the paper mill. He would walk in the door at 4:15, and she was always there to greet him with a kiss. Maybe that’s why their marriage lasted so long!

One of the things I am most grateful for is the fact that I told her I loved her the night before she died. I had always loved her, but had not put it into words until that night. I don't know why I said it that particular night, but I'm so glad I did. If you still have your mother, make sure to tell her you love her; you never know when you will lose her. And it would be tragic to lose her without letting her know how much she means to you.

You've been gone for 29 years, but you are always in our hearts. Happy Mothers Day, Mom.

And Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers and grandmothers out there reading this!

EVA

Saturday Silliness

2013-05-11T01:00:00.000-04:00

A Husband is Down in Aisle 5!!!!

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, they carry
on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream
and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
That's him on Aisle 5.

********************

Sensually Subtle ...

"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife.
"No," He said.

She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled

out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

"Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," He said.

She gave me another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties

and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 30,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
"No," He said, intrigued.

"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."

*****************************************************************

Mystery Solved......

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship.
      "Follow me, son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
      "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

      "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."
      And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did.

      When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?

Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better if you scare the shit out of them first."

**********************************************************

EVA

Update

2013-05-10T02:00:00.000-04:00

'Nuff said!

EVA

WTF Wednesday

2013-05-08T01:00:00.000-04:00

WTF Wednesday has me feeling like I've either been in a fight or hit by a truck! I actually had a basal skin cell carcinoma removed from my face. As a result, no post today. Relaxing with an ice pack on my wound. And, yes, I feel as bad as I look. I'll be back when I feel better.

Feel free to send chocolate or cash.

EVA

Sunday Mourning

2013-05-05T01:00:00.000-04:00

I am in mourning; mourning the Celtics loss in game 6 of the playoffs and mourning the end of their season. Oh, I'll probably watch some more playoff games; I'll root for the Indiana Pacers because one of my former students is their Head Strength and Conditioning Coach. And then I'll have to hang around and see if any team can beat the Miami Heat.

In the meantime, here's a tribute to my Guys in Green (in alphabetical order):

Brandon Bass, the big man in the front line; not the tallest, but look at those arms and shoulders! And he can drop a nice jump shot, score from the foul line, and muscle his way through the opposition.

Avery Bradley at 22 is already considered the fiercest defender in the NBA. He came through with some big steals and buckets during game 6 of the playoffs and helped close the gap when the Celtics were down by 26 points!

Jordan Crawford came to the Celtics halfway through the season and made his presence known with some wild baskets!

Kevin Garnett, 37 years old is a 17-year veteran of the NBA. The heart and soul of the Celtics, he is a mentor to the younger players, as well as a tenacious competitor. His team mates love playing with him; opponents respect his skill but hate playing against him! He grabbed 19 rebounds in game 6 of the playoffs.

Jeff Green missed all of last season due to open heart surgery; he amazed everyone with the huge comeback he made this year. He scored 20 points or more in most games the second half of the season; his speed and athleticism make him a joy to watch.

Courtney Lee, although inconsistent, did show us flashes of brilliance at both ends of the court, as well as from behind the 3-point line.

Fab Melo a 7-foot export from Brazil has made a major impact in the D-League here in Portland, Maine, playing as a part of the Red Claws. He didn't get much court time with the Celtics, but maybe next year!

Paul Pierce the captain and leader of the Celtics. Known for making clutch shots when they are needed. He wants to retire as a Celtic, and although he may be traded to another team, hopes he'll be offered a one-day contract from the Boston team when the day comes so he can retire in Green.

Shavlick Randolph, another Chinese League import who came to the Celtics late in the season, showed some promise for next year in his limited play time.

Rajan Rondo, arguably the best point guard in the league, had to sit out this entire season due to serious knee surgery. I can't wait to see him back at full speed next season!

Jared Sullinger had a promising start to the season this year, but was sidelined with a back injury. He has had surgery and should be a big factor for the Celtics next fall.

D.J. White also acquired late in the season, didn't see much playing time, but may be back next year.

Chris Wilcox during the season made some major blocks and pitched in when needed.

And last but not least, Terrance Williams, another late addition, showed promise as a back up point guard. He's fast and strong and can make an impact.

Friday night's game was unbelievable. The Celtics have been counted out so many times this year. When Rondo was injured, the doubters declared their season was over; Sullinger had to have back surgery, and again the non-believers said the Celts would never make the playoffs.

They say "Never underestimate the heart of a Champion." The Celtics just kept grinding and working and finally, despite numerous injuries, did make the playoffs. They lost the first 3 games to the New York Knicks, and again, many thought they were done. But they wouldn't give up. The fought back and won games 4 and 5, and in the last quarter of game 6 when they were down by 26 points, dug in and fought their way back, went on a 24 to 2 point run and closed the gap to just 4 points! (Needless to say, I was jumping up and down and screaming!) But they lost. They lost, but they didn't roll over and give up; they went down fighting, because that's what Celtics do.

Just 7 months 'til training camp.....and the 2013-2014 season. You can bet I will be glued to my tv, cheering them on again. If only I could afford court-side tickets; I'd be at the Boston Garden in a heart beat! Hear that, Celtics? Anyone want to offer your oldest and most fanatic fan a couple of tickets?

(Photos from the Boston Celtics Official Website)

EVA

Saturday Silliness

2013-05-04T01:00:00.000-04:00

Sobriety Test?

An Arkansas State Trooper pulled a car over on I-40 about 20 miles South of the Arkansas/Oklahoma Stateline. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Fort Smith, AR to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the Trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got five flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from Ozark, AR got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The Trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”

*******************

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf
females patient's anterior chest wall.

"Big breaths," I instructed.

"Yes, they used to be, replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

@@@@@@@@@@@

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you
been bedridden?"

After a look of complete confusion, she answered, "Why not for about 20 years,
when my husband was alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

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I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning, and while checking up on a
man I asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"

"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seen ti get used to the taste,"
Bob replied.

Then I asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Krnsdorf, Detroit, MI

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A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair
styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange
clothing entered.

It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. While she was completely disrobed on the
operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and
above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the Grass."

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's
dressing which said, "Sorry. . . had to mow the lawn."

Submitted by RN, no name given.

@@@@@@@@

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when
performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously
formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst
out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard,

"No, Doctor, but the song your were whistling was, 'I wish I were an
Oscar Mayer Wiener.'"

Dr. wouldn't submit his name...

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a
little concerned asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her
nipples, pressed, kneaded and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very
professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said. "I'm his grandma, but I'm glad I came."

Source Unknown.

*********************************************************

EVA

The Funeral Procession Was Premature!

2013-05-02T01:00:00.000-04:00

The New York Knicks came to the 5th game of their playoff series with the Celtics at Madison Square Garden in funeral attire. Every member of the Knicks was wearing a black suit, black shirt, black tie; they even brought a hearse for extra effect. The message was the Celtics were done; the Knicks had already won three out of four games in the 7 game series, and this game would be the Celtics demise in the playoffs.

However, rumors of the Celtics demise were greatly exaggerated; my "Team Green" were not yet ready to roll over and play dead! In the opening minutes of the game, the Knicks took off and had an 11 to 0 lead, but it was short-lived.

Madison Square Garden, New York, New York

Wednesday, May 1, 7:00 PM (ET)

Boston

Celtics

(2-3)

New York

Knicks

(3-2)

92 - 86

Final

	1	2	3	4	Total
Celtics	20	25	24	23	92
Knicks	22	17	21	26	86

Recap

By the end of the first quarter, the Celts had closed the gap to

two points and keep it going from there. There were a couple

of ties, and at one point the Knicks managed to take the lead

by half a dozen or so. However, the efforts of Brandon Bass,

Jeff Green, Paul Pierce, Jason Terry, Kevin Garnett, Avery

Bradley, and Terrence Williams made it clear:

There would be no "wake" this night!

(photo from USA Sports)

My man Kevin Garnett had 17 points and 18 rebounds; four

of the five Celtics starters scored in double figures and Jason

Terry (The Jet) scored 17 points off the bench!

It was an amazing game -- game 6 of the series will be Friday

night at the Boston Garden! You know Mr. Eva and I will be

"couch-gating," and I'll be cheering for my guys!

Go get 'em, Celts!

EVA

WTF Wednesday!

2013-05-01T01:00:00.000-04:00

It's that time again, when items I uncover in the news cause me to scratch my head and ask, "What the f*ck??" And then of course I have to share them with you.

The Man Who Owns the Moon

In 1981, Dennis Hope was newly divorced and running out of money. He knew there was money to be made selling real estate, and while gazing into the night sky, a brilliant idea came to him.

He did some research and learned that the 1967 United Nations Outer Space Treaty stated that no country could own the moon or planets, but it made no mention of individuals. So, he drafted a letter to the United Nations and 33 countries claiming ownership of the moon, Mars, Pluto, and one of Jupiter's moons.

Hope once received a bill from someone who claimed to own the sun and was charging the moon mogul for the use of its energy. After careful consideration, he suggested the man turn off the sun, and refused to pay the bill.

Since then he has made $11,000,000 selling properties in outer space. His customers include Barbara Walters, Tom Cruise, and former Presidents Jimmy Carter, George H. W. Bush, and Ronald Reagan. The total charge for one acre of lunar land is $24.00. Click here to watch a video about him and his operation.

This might make a great gift for the grandchild who has everything! And don't forget Mother's Day!

(I don't know who's Loonier...Mr. Hope or the guy that bought a "country sized" plot for $250.000!)

**********************

SugarcBush is the world's most photographed squirrel. She lives in Boca Raton, Florida with her owner, Kelly Foxton. Rescued when she was a baby from a nest in a tree which was cut down, Sugar shares Kelly's home with a small green parrot named Rio. The bird and squirrel are best pals and constant companions.

Sugar Bush has over 3000 costumes with matching accessories and has been photographed over 5000 times. At first I though Kelly Foxton was crazy, but she's crazy like a fox! She has made a whole business out of photographing Sugar Bush. You might see Sugar on greeting cards, calendars, glossy photos, paper dolls, children's books, even photos for our troops. Check out Sugar Bush's home page here! Please, go check out the website! You won't believe what you'll see!

You have to admit, the rodent is rather ravishing! She's still a rodent, however, and the whole idea of sharing my home with a rodent, albeit a "cash cow" so to speak, still makes me a little squirrelly!

*****************************

The Department of Energy and Environmental Protection was asked to investigate a home in Newtown, CT, and found over 300 gallon jugs filled with urine. Aparently they were placed there by the homeowner, but no one is sure why.

Sounds like this guy was a perfect candidate for the reality tv show "Hoarders."

***********************

A bar in London has found that video games in the men's loo are not only popular, but profitable! The idea is the game is somewhat "hands-free," as play is controlled by the players stream of urine. The profits result from the players return to the bar for a "refill" "rePEEted times for extended play!

Talk about a game being a real pisser! Maybe that's what the guy in Connecticut was saving his pee for??

**********************

That's all the head scratching for today! Have a good one!

EVA

Silent Sunday

2013-04-28T02:00:00.000-04:00

Grandsons Carter and Austin hiking in the mountains of New Hampshire.

EVA

Saturday Silliness

2013-04-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower 
girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. 
 
 The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why 
he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

**********************

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen , won't open." 
 
 
 
Husband texts back:  "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." 
 
 Wife texts back 5 minutes later:  "Computer really screwed up now."

**************************
























Pearly Gates









Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants, arrive.





St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I'll be right back."

















St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to Peter:






"How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"








St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."












"The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.




"No. The Pearly Gates."

********************











CAR 
TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the 
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'




**********************


RIVER 
WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the

opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,

'You ARE on the other side.'

********************************




EVA

Frantic Friday

2013-04-25T11:26:00.002-04:00

I decided it was time to do some cleaning. Why, you ask? Well, for one thing, I was running out of names for my dust bunnies. I'll be back tomorrow with Saturday Silliness.

EVA

WTF Wednesday!

2013-04-24T07:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's that time again....when I share with you the news items that I've encountered that have caused me to scratch my head and ask "What the f*ck???"

Here are this week's head scratchers!

A burglar in Rumania who was startled by a scary noise which he thought might be another burglar, dove under a bed and called the police. Officers arrived to find no one else in the house and arrested him. They assumed the noise he heard may have been made by the family cat.

I guess you couldn't call him a "cat burglar." He may need to find a new occupation!

**********************

He has a "spider-themed" beard among others and has his own website her e to show them off. His name is Chad Roberts and he's a member of the RVA Beard League. It's worth clicking on the link if just to see his "beerd."

I don't know if he's married, but I think sleeping next to that "spider" would be a hairy situation!

********************

Her name is Pam Shaw and she's a 70-year-old virgin looking for some action. She says she spent the last 50 years concentrating on her career as a cabaret singer, didn't believe in sex before marriage, and feared that marriage would mean the end of her career. Not that she didn't have chances, she flirted with Tom Jones and Englebert Humperdink back in the day. Now she's looking for a millionaire to wed and/or bed.

Good luck to her---hope she finds her dream man, and that if he's in her peer group that all his equipment is operational!

**************************

Sometimes a photo is all that's needed for a WTF moment!

*********************

Now, here's an internet scam that's looking for some gullible idiots!

*****************************************
That's all the head-scratching today!

EVA

Silent Sunday

2013-04-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

Grandson Austin, age 11

EVA

Saturday Silliness

2013-04-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

*********************************

Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, "I 
don't trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment 
for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment." 
 
 "So what makes you think your doctor is any better?" asked his friend. 
 
 "Because when my doctor treats you for a kidney ailment, you can be sure

you'll die of a kidney ailment."

************************

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me 
with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and 
gold Rolex." 
 
 "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. 
 
 "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he 
will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the 
jewelry."  
 
*************************






****************************



EVA

WTF Wednesday

2013-04-17T09:24:00.003-04:00

WTF Wednesday will return next week.

It just didn't seem appropriate to make snarky comments about the news today after Monday's tragedy.

EVA

We're With You, Boston.

2013-04-16T11:27:00.000-04:00

My thoughts and prayers today are with the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing and their families.

EVA

Monday Menu Idea

2013-04-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

I saw this recipe for Pizza Casserole on facebook last week. My cousin's wife Jean Anne Ouellette had posted it and it looked so delicious I had to try it.

Pizza Casserole

1 (16 oz.) package uncooked rotini pasta

1 lb. ground Italian sausage

1 (24 oz.) jar pasta sauce (I added an additional 12 oz. jar of pasta sauce for a saucier dish!)

1 (16 oz.) container cottage cheese ( I used ricotta, 'cause that's the way I roll!)

1 (2 1/4 oz.) can sliced black olives (I omitted these, as Mr. Eva won't eat them)

1 (4 oz.) can mushrooms, drained

12 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese

2 (3 oz.) packages sliced pepperoni

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9 x 13 casserole dish (I used 2 8 x 8 and froze one for a later meal)

Bring large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Place pasta in pot, cook 8 to 10 minutes and drain.

In a skillet over medium heat, cook sausage until evenly browned, drain grease. Mix in the cooked pasta and pasta sauce. Pour into prepared casserole dish (or dishes...2 8 x 8, if you want to freeze one for later.)

In a bowl, mix the cottage cheese (or ricotta) olives, mushrooms, and shredded mozzarella cheese.

Spoon the cheese mixture over the sausage and pasta mixture. Top with pepperoni slices.

Bake 25 minutes in the preheated oven until bubbly and lightly browned.

I served it with parmesean cheese and Texas Toast, but any garlic bread will do.

It made for a really delicious meal. And I have another in the freezer for some time when I'm in a hurry and want a good dinner! (Heating time for the frozen dish will be 30 minutes covered with non-stick aluminum foil, and then 20 to 25 minutes uncovered.) See, I do cook once in a while!

EVA

Silent Sunday

2013-04-14T01:00:00.000-04:00

Our Granddaughter, Rosabelle--a mini Minnie Pearl?

(I know, I'm showing my age...most of you are too young to remember Minnie Pearl!)

EVA

Saturday Silliness

2013-04-13T01:00:00.000-04:00

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets.

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonely here and it's difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved but perhaps too well.'

And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased..

And Dog was happy.

And the Cat . . .

didn't give a shit one way or the other.

**********************

Graphic Picture of Boating Accident - Just Seconds Before the Owner Dies
Not for the squeamish!!
SECONDS before Death (totally unaware).
WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTO.
THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MAN WITH JUST SECONDSTO LIVE
(CHILLING!)

************************

EVA

Friday--Fact or Fiction?

2013-04-12T09:15:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if this is true, but it came to me on email and I thought it was interesting!

WHEN NASA FIRST STARTED SENDING UP ASTRONAUTS, THEY QUICKLY DISCOVERED THAT BALL-POINT PENS WOULD NOT WORK IN ZERO GRAVITY. TO COMBAT THIS PROBLEM, NASA SCIENTISTS SPENT A DECADE AND $12 BILLION DEVELOPING A PEN THAT WRITES IN ZERO GRAVITY, UPSIDE DOWN, ON ALMOST ANY SURFACE INCLUDING GLASS AND AT TEMPERATURES RANGING FROM BELOW FREEZING TO OVER

300 C.

THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL.

ENJOY PAYING YOUR TAXES, THEY’RE DUE AGAIN!

EVA