Writer Thinker

Alita, Battle Angel

2019-02-10T07:39:00.001-08:00

Alita is a slick, glossy movie that is impressive until half-way through, when I think it looses sight of itself and becomes a little messy. Losing her heart to a crush (almost literally) becomes the undoing of what was up until then a nicely paced sci-fi-lite romp. Although it's great to have a female character whose power is beating the crap out of people, and not just turning invisible, or doing ninja knitting, or something.

Points deducted for the almost continuous nudity (in tasteful metal) and fantasy costumes-- though without the gigantic boobies of comic books. To be fair, although she's impossibly thin and "Kawaii', she's a decently written character even if she gets a little soppy at times.

But it all gets set up for a sequel, so that's ok then. Just don't expect an ending, you'll have to shell out more dough for that. Trilogy, anyone?

Rating: Three ass kickings out of five.

Menopause Myths

2018-10-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

Making of the menopause: the framing of a woman’s body

Ok, so to begin with, let’s get this straight: the menopause is not the time when women get hot flushes and act oddly. The menopause is actually the time when women stop having periods to the end of their lives. What most people call the menopause is perhaps better defined as the Perimenopause, between having fertility, and not having fertility, with some overlap into the “menopause”. But almost no-one calls it that, so let's stick with menopause.

The menopause is, simply put, a huge upheaval of the hormones in a woman's body. All those rhythms she's been used to have been disrupted to the point where she can't understand her own body. I can't emphasize to you what a huge change this is. We get used to being grumpy/sad/hysterical before a period, we accept that we shouldn't pick a fight during these times, and maybe a hot bath and a big bar of chocolate is nice to sooth the feelings.

But the menopause makes us feel like that all the time. Every moment of the day is filled with lurching feelings that have nothing to do with the situation, added to the rest of the uncomfortable symptoms. And crying.

(Note for Americans and other people who don’t use the same terminology as us Brits— Hot Flush=Hot Flash. No idea why we use different language for it, but both fit well!)

So why does it happen?

Basically, when you run out of eggs, your body goes into menopause.

A woman’s body starts with an amazing 1-2 million potential eggs when they are born. Yep, 1-2 million. These are what are called ovarian follicles, and each month when a period is started, a number of the follicles are activated, but only one, two (or occasionally more) are actually matured into eggs, and released for fertilization.

So when you run out of ovarian follicles, the menopause is basically your body trying to rummage around for a few left at the bottom of your ovaries. Like looking for spare change at the bottom of your bag to pay for a coffee. And when it can’t find them, the hormone levels in the body drop, and cause chaos. Once it works out you don’t have more to give, it reaches for the credit card of life (ok, I’m taking this too far), and you sail into life without hot flushes. In theory.

Ok, but why???

Most animals tend to lose their place in their society when they get too old to reproduce, or die before they reach that stage. Man (uh, women), and killer wales, do not. They 'change' so that they can still be of use to the pack but are not a threat to the procreating animals or produce young that aren’t healthy. Many a young male killer whale has been brought up by a menopausal killer whale. But we're not really sure why it happens. But this is all theory. Unfortunately we actually know very little about the menopause, why it happens, or even how to control the symptoms.

Menopause myths examined

It’s the woman’s fault

I don’t care if you’ve taken drugs, drank, slept around, had sixteen kids, or are a virgin Nun living in isolation—the menopause will happen. Even if you’ve had cancer and had a mastectomy and hysterectomy, you’re going to go through the menopause, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Nor can you prevent it, though you can relieve symptoms – but with that comes risks and side-effects. The only way you’re to “blame” is if you have your ovaries removed (usually a life-saving procedure), then you go into full menopause immediately. Treatments for cancer can actually cause the menopause to start or even flare up—even if you thought you’d finished with it.

Medical science knows what it’s doing

Unfortunately for all us women “of a certain age”, medicine is still in it’s infancy as far as the menopause is concerned. Yes, we have HRT and other treatments, but if you’ve ever been to the doctors with this condition, you’ll know just what a guessing game it is. A lot of the medications you’re offered aren’t for the menopause at all, it’s just been found that they are beneficial for certain people. So anti-depressants, blood pressure medication and even seizure medication can be prescribed on the off chance they might help. See below for further details.

It's all a big marketing lie to sell vitamins

I’ll only say this once, the menopause exists. Just because your mother and grandmother went through "the change" without any symptoms does not mean that your wife\girlfriend\partner is going to be the same. My partner’s mother, and even my own paternal grandmother, were very scathing of the idea that the menopause existed, my grandmother even telling me "it was an excuse for being lazy". I know it's not.

My doctor told me that he saw it like this: 1/3 of women will have no symptoms, 1/3 will have minor symptoms, and the final 1/3 will have bad symptoms. Of that final 1/3, around 10% will need medical assistance as their symptoms are so bad.

But yes, the menopause has its fair share of people trying to convince you that you need to spend a fortune on various pills and potions that are guaranteed to make you feel better. See below.

The menopause lasts a year

I wish it did, I really do. However, there is no "set time" that a woman will go through the change, it can range from years to decades. This whole “it lasts a year” myth comes from a medical definition of when a woman is actually in the menopause. So a woman is born pre-puberty, goes through puberty and has periods, which lasts for a few decades. Then they start to have irregular and strange periods. This goes on for a while, and eventually they stop. Once they have been stopped for a year, this is the medical definition of the start of the menopause, and any periods after that are considered to be a problem.

But the actual symptoms of the menopause do not follow this pattern. The menopause symptoms can start years before you stop having periods, and go on after. You can have stopped periods for decades, and still be getting hot flushes and anxiety attacks well into your sixties (some people even have periods into their sixties too). Some people never get rid of the symptoms of the menopause.

The menopause has stages

Now for the difficult part. The menopause does not act in a predictable and sane way. There isn't a “hot flush” stage, or a “weepy” stage. It all happens at once, or comes and goes. For example, my mother and I have similar, but not the same, experiences.

However, I have experienced several changes in my menopause, from minor, to severe, to less debilitating symptoms. But I don't know if that happens with all woman, or if it's just me. The change in seasons, for example, creates a lot of issues for me, my body is trying to cope with cooler weather one day, and hot the next. It drives it (and me) crazy.

I have heard of women who have stopped having hot flushes, and a decade later, started with them again, so I guess the same is for all other symptoms. You might even have none, or just a few, it’s down to your specific body chemistry.

But you can't chart the menopause though symptoms, I'm afraid, and as I've already said, there's no set timescale for it either.

However, the menopause is said to last an average of seven years. The key word being average, here, folks. And I don’t know what that encompasses—I had very mild symptoms that kicked off into the full blown thing. So when did my menopause start? Which leads on to…

The menopause is always the same

You don’t start with the same intensity of symptoms or even the same symptoms as you end with. Nor are they constant. You can tolerate certain levels one day, then not the next. I went to a Slipknot gig in the worst of my symptoms and was fine crammed into a hot, sweaty standing area. But I’ve been forced out of gigs with less people and less heat. Go figure.

My (pre?) menopause started in 2011 with a runny nose when I ate (yes, honestly), feeling hot when I exercised (even just walking fast would trigger feeling hot—but not a hot flush), tiredness (due to a vitamin deficiency) weight gain (minor), anxiety, and hair loss. I have lovely, thick hair, so when it started to come out in large amounts when I brushed my hair, I didn’t really think much of it.

The menopause itself started in 2015, when I had ovary pain, and then the hot flushes and anxiety really kicked up to high gear. The other symptoms remained roughly the same, although I later got joint pain, and also apathy.

My current stage (started late 2017) is where it’s all gone down a tad. The hair loss in minimal—even normal. The hot flushes are reduced and controllable, although they get out of hand at time, but I have no energy to do anything. I don’t even think it’s an energy issue, I think it’s just that I have no enthusiasm for doing anything.

You stop having periods

Although you will eventually, as I said, there are cases of women going on to have periods into their sixties. Normally the periods will start to get unpredictable, and stop...then start, then stop, etc. Each time you have a period the "year clock" gets reset.

The periods will also vary horribly. I wear panty liners all the time, not because I’m incontinent, but because I have a lot of fluid leakage from my vagina, and also odd periods. I’ve set up a spreadsheet to monitor my periods, and see just how long they last, and how much time there between. The longest time between periods was four months and I thought that was it, but they came back.

Mine have been heavy all my life, meaning I used tampons and panty liners at the same time as I often overflowed even the largest variety of tampon. But recently it’s reduced down to such a light flow I don’t need the tampons, and also my period symptoms have reduced. I used to get very irritable before, with swollen, tender breasts. Now it’s more likely that I’ll be weepy beforehand, with not much else.

It's always old women

If you've started your periods, you can go through the menopause. It's as simple as that. I was 39 when I started symptoms.

You just end up feeling ancient… it’s often said that men age faster than women, but when women hit the menopause they catch up with them. Which is a bit of a bummer when your partner is in his forties, and you feel like you’re in your eighties…

Everything can stay the same

Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. You may have to sleep in another room from your partner, wear different clothes, and have massive personality changes.

I used to wear all black when I was depressed and fat. Then, I got nice and thin, and wore lots of colours, skirts, dresses, and had a huge wardrobe.

Now I wear a black (low curt) t-shirt and black trousers with optional cardigan (thin). The low cut isn’t to show off my amazing breasts (which have gone from amazing to out of control), but because my breasts get really hot, so low-cut means I can stay a little cooler.

I sleep on my own as I need a very cold room to be able to sleep. Even cuddles can be enough to trigger a hot flush, and it’s very alienating to my partner.

But I’ve also lost heart. I’ve pushed a lot of people away, including my partner. I no longer want to do anything, because to be honest it’s too much effort, and I’m exhausted all the time. At the moment, if left to my own devices, I just sit and watch DVDs or play games on the console if I’m feeling really perky (huh). It’s frustrating because there are things I would like to do, but I can’t make myself do them. I do the basics to keep my life ticking over, and that’s it. And I have a full time job as well, where a great many of my colleagues have been made redundant recently (no pressure then!), so I’m expected to do that, clean, do the ironing, the gardening…before this all started I ran a small business as a side-line to my job (making jewellery, you can see samples here). You can chart my condition though how that business went, I started with enthusiasm and joy, and ended up barely caring about it. I don’t make jewellery any more, I don’t’ do any of the craft things I used to love.

And again, this has all alienated my partner, who won’t believe how tired I am. Believe me, I’d rather be making jewellery and doing stuff with my partner than being a useless lump that doesn’t have the energy for any of it. I try to push myself into doing more, but all that happens is I exhaust myself further. My partner gets irritated if I try, because he can tell “when I’m faking it”. I don’t’ even get credit for trying, it seems.

Women know when it’s happening

The menopause starts gradually, before ramping up, so your partner may not be even aware they’re going into it. I had four years of feeling hot and exhausted before I was finally diagnosed.

If your partner changes, you need to talk to them about it. I realise it’s probably too late since you’re here so must be aware of what it is, but perhaps you don’t. However old your partner is, she may not understand that she’s changed, I didn’t. Talk to them, please, and encourage them to get help.

You're always getting hot flushes

Actually, cold flushes are a thing. I've been sat in a hot house, shivering with cold (usually followed by a hot flush when I bundle up). Otherwise I'm a lot hotter than my normal temperature all the time, especially around the upper chest and breasts, but many women are a normal temperature until they have a hot flush, then they go super-heated.

But I can also have times when hot flushes aren’t a thing. It needs a stable temperature (I live in the UK so little chance of that), and usually dry heat, but I can stabilise my menopause not to make me flush.

But normally it doesn’t take much to trigger one, and you’ll have your own trigger, too. Hot meals, coffee, a warm day, and even a plunge in temperature can trigger a painful hot flush (see the next section), but equally even nothing can cause one. I’ve been sat in a room with a stable temperature watching TV and had a hot flush (and no, it wasn’t because of something stimulating on the telly!).

The trick to surviving them is to wear layers (you’ll hear that a lot) and be ready to strip at a moment’s notice. Even if it’s embarrassing, you need to learn to read your body and not worry about walking around in a t-shirt even if it’s minus 10 (and yes, I’ve shovelled snow in a t-shirt before). I’m afraid that embarrassment is a huge part of the menopause, and you either end up making random excuses to people, or you do what I do, and tell them outright what’s wrong.

Exercise is a big trigger for me, my body goes nuts if I even try to walk fast. I have very long legs, and tend to go along at quite a pace—or used to. Unfortunately my partner also has long legs and I have to force him to slow down. Body contact is also a bad one, which isolates you very much from your lover, sex is simply not an option when it would cause you to become painfully hot.

I can also get them wearing headphones. I can spend hours wearing them without issue, then suddenly they affect me.

So…menopausal women want to be cold all the time?

Urrrghhh, no. The cold is just as bad as heat for hot flushes. As you get cold your body tries to compensate, and ends up over compensating in a big way. And when you have a hot flush when it’s cold, it’s only your internal body temperature that changes. Your skin temperature can be still freezing, causing a huge difference between the two—and pain. It’s not like I’m walking around nice and cosy all the time—my fingers and toes are freezing cold as well as my skin. And the hot flush isn’t nice and gently heating, see below for that.

I long to be warm, and snuggled up next to my love. But I can’t. I’m always walking a tightrope of being warm, but not too warm. I tend to seek out colder locations in the house, but only because it’s safer—that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be warm.

Hot flushes are like a warm day

They're actually more like a fever than "being too warm". If you think of being in the sun, your temperature tends to stabilise, or you get out of it. I suppose you could compare it to sun burn, except that it’s internal and not external.

A hot flush starts generally on the chest or face, and is hugely different from the rest of your body temperature. So a fever that only affects certain areas, but is just as hot. It also comes really sharply.

And getting away from whatever is causing the heat doesn’t cause the temperature to lesson. Once a flush starts, it goes on until you can either really cool down, or it runs its course. So standing in full sun might cause a hot flush, but getting out of the sun won't make you feel refreshed, and indeed your temperature might continue to rise until you can get to a source of cold that helps, or just wait it out. They often only last a short time.

But it’s very uncomfortable while it lasts. You can end up soaked in sweat (which is what happens if I try to exercise), but also it can be painful. Not burns painful, but it certainly tests your levels of pain tolerance as your skin and internal body temperature are so different. If it’s a cold day, for example, and you have a hot flush, then as I’ve said, your skin is freezing, but the rest of you is unbearably hot, so you can’t put a coat on, or a jumper. I’ve walked around in the rain and snow before in a hoodie simply because it’s the only thing that offered a little protection—a coat would be too thick, and

plastic raincoats too sweaty.

Night sweats are just getting hot

Night sweats are weird. I’ve only had about three up to writing, and mostly they are caused by a too hot room. But not always.

Normally, when you get hot, you wake up, and throw the covers off. With night sweats, you go from an ok temperature to being boiling hot with no warning. Twice I woke up boiling hot and covered from heat to toe in a thick, smelly sweat. The kind of sweat that takes extensive exercise to achieve. Imagine not showering for week, then working for hours in the garden on a hot day and then going on a long run in a padded coat—that kind of skanky, thick, all over sweat. Seriously, I’m sure if I scraped it off with a blade like the Romans used to in hot baths, it would stand upright. And it’s every part of you as well. Your hair and your clothes are all soaking wet. And of course, the bedding is wet too. Some women resort to sleeping on towels because it’s easier than trying to change the bed every day, me, I leave a nice human shape imprint on everything.

There’s something really distressing about waking up to find yourself “wetting the bed” with no warning. I don’t know if it’s just “oh god here’s another embarrassing symptom that won’t let me sleep” or if it’s even more fundamental, where your brain associates it with potty training. A stretch, I know, but it’s oddly upsetting. I cried for two hours last night (at 2am) because I felt so low. And this morning. When I had a bath and changed all the bedding. Urgh. They actually make you afraid to go to bed because it’s so horrible waking up like that.

For me, I’m not sure what triggers them, but I managed through a summer of 24 degrees in the day, and 14 at night without having them. But the temperature dropped, and suddenly I was getting them. Some women have them nightly, even multiple times a night, and honestly, my heart goes out to them. It’s a horrible thing to go through, mostly because the psychological effect can be so devastating.

It’s just hot flushes

Actually, there are a lot more symptoms that just being hot. Pain is constant in the menopause. It's either your breasts, or your joints, or even your ovaries. Headaches are common, too.

The joint pain is often known as menopausal arthritis, and is actually muscular pain rather than bone problems (though osteoarthritis can also be an issue in the menopause). You can diagnose it simply, if you have pain in a joint but no heat, it’s probably muscle pain. The cure, exercise. Yes, I know. That’s the last thing you ever want to do when it’s painful, but something like Pilates can help. A few, basic moves before you get out of bed can get you set up and moving for the day. And so on.

Be aware that you might also damage muscles easily as well, I ripped a calf muscle just turning to answer the door—and it took weeks to heal. I’ve also had trouble with my knees, but conditions needed physiotherapy to get better.

I also don’t heal as quickly as I used to. Which is very frustrating when it comes to trying to mend muscles! But cuts don’t close as quickly, colds last weeks.

One strange symptom is an increased sense of smell, especially your own scent. I was convinced I’d got thrush because something smelt odd, but it was probably just my enhanced nose.

For me, it’s been very prevalent, and I frequently get swollen hands and ankles, especially when I’m having a “period”. I went from someone walking for pleasure, to someone who can hardly even walk around the supermarket. Very distressing and unpleasant.

You can also gain weight. Fat creates estrogen, so over-eating could be a way the body has to try to equalise the deficit.

I discuss other non-hot flush symptoms in the rest of the post.

You become incontinent

I haven’t, but I understand some women can. But I do have a weaker bladder than normal—lots of trips to the toilet, and the feeling I need to go far more than I would normally. It disturbs your sleep and can be awkward when you’re endlessly looking for the loo, but for me it was manageable. My problem is the, uh, solid end of the transaction. It tends to become urgent very quickly, and can be very unpleasant in texture and smell. Ah, the menopause is such a joy!

It's only about the body

The menopause is as much about the mind as the body. By that, I don't mean that it's in the mind, but that it also affects a woman's mental state. You may be used to the mood swings associated with periods, but this is far more intense and prolonged.

Also, life isn't as clear-cut as it used to be. The term “foggy brain” is often used, and it's accurate. It's hard to perceive anything through the mist you end up being lost in, anything I do has to be drawn up through this fog, and sometimes the brain just gives up. Like names, I have had a great deal of difficulty remembering the name of bands, for example. I can talk around the problem by describing something about them, but it's frustrating.

Your brain feels full to the brim, and focus is lost, it's possible to get into things, but the effort it takes is really high.

And because of the fog I can't enjoy things I used to. I used to make jewellery and do crafts (I have a degree in Fine Art Sculpture) but I can’t gather enough focus to do these things. I need constant distraction, yet find it had to watch a film, for example, unless it’s something I really want to see. I’m a gamer, and that gives me some relief, and well as reading and watching TV shows, but I gravitate to things I’ve watched or played before. I need that sense of familiarity and comfort, because it soothes me.

Learning new things is one symptom that isn’t talked about enough, the brain fails to learn new things during the menopause, meaning that women will generally fall back onto familiar things, things that bring them comfort. My partner loves music, and listens to a lot of new bands. I rarely connect to a band with one listening-- but no I can scarcely bear to even listen to a new band at all. I love music too, and always want new...but it's not going to happen. Instead of music I listen to podcasts, even if I don’t absorb the content it's quite comforting to me.

Right at the start I also had trouble simply doing any work. I was exhausted from Vitamin D and Iron deficiency, and it destroyed my focus and patience. I work from home, and each time I was sent something to do I would actually have a crying fit about it. Now my menopause has changed I'm better, but still can get ultra-upset over nothing. Even if I know it’s nothing.

I’ve also become a huge procrastinator. When I was in my teens I realised that procrastinating only ever hurt me, and I made the effort to get on with jobs as soon as they came up and not leave them, no matter how little I wanted to do them. But now, I put things off to a ridiculous degree, I’m always stressing to get things done last minute… I’m trying to do things in a timely manner as stress is really something you need to minimise in the menopause.

What I've come to realise is my mind is craving routine and comfort. It wants to feel safe, because I feel so vulnerable. And when I get it right I perhaps don't feel right, but I at least feel relief. And I can't emphasise enough how much a little relief means to someone going through this.

But there’s also the distress from the condition itself. We recently had a mini heatwave in October, and it was exhausting to me as my body hasn’t got used to the change in temperature from summer. The hot flushes, the exhaustion, the fog—there have been times when I have wished I was dead. Many times I’ve seriously considered it, in fact I think only the horror of failing and having people fuss over me is stopping me from overdosing. I’m about as low as I’ve ever been in my life, and barely functioning. Yet I have to try to maintain my life and relationship. It’s a living nightmare.

People have claimed that because of the time of life a woman is at when she reaches the menopause, this explains the low mood. So her children leave home, she realises she has no life skills and needs to return to work, has giant gaps in her life etc—a mid-life crisis. Great, so a man gets a sports car and a 20 year old girlfriend and we get apathy?

I'd say that was bull. I have no children, and am happy without them. I have a career that may not be so good right now, but there's no reason why it shouldn't be, my skills are in demand and I have had opportunities to progress in my career-- that I've been forced to turn down because of the menopause. My relationship was new when it started, although it has been destroyed because of the menopause. So although I can understand for some women this might be applicable, what's happening to me? I think it's the biggest myth of them all, that we find ourselves without purpose at a certain age. I don't even care about getting old (getting fat, not so good—thanks menopause!) I don't suffer from an obsession about youth that the rest of the world seems to. This idea that we reach the menopause and suddenly feel blue because we can’t have children is not only outdated (Brigitte Nielsen was 54 when she had her child, and other women have been post-menopause and still given birth), but insulting. It turns us into little more than vaginas on legs that don’t feel fulfilled unless we have three children hanging onto our breasts. And there are plenty of mothers out there with small children who feel these things even though they have a job and children. I’m not saying it isn’t a reason why women feel apathy and low, I’m just saying that it is a valid menopause symptom.

Fear and stress

Related to, but not the whole picture of the mind segment above, is the feeling of fear and stress you can get going through the menopause. The most scared I have ever been in my life was sat in a bath (it was nice and warm and had bubbles. Terrifying, right?). Nothing scary was happening, I knew I wasn't scared, but I was still utterly terrified. I even joked to my partner after, he asked if there was anything he could do, but there was nothing, because it wasn't a real feeling, yet I experienced it. I'm glad that never happened when I was driving, or walking in a dark alley at night. I think it might just have finished me off!

I have also had huge anxiety attacks over doing tasks like going to the supermarket. I was always able to break out of them by ignoring the hideous feelings I was experiencing, but at times they've been almost crippling.

I realised that these feeling were hormone related, and would increase as my body tried to have a "period"-- whether or not I bled. Or just be random. But I've learnt to ignore them-- as far as you can ignore being terrified or stressed-- and push on with what I was going to do. But it means I come across as being unenthusiastic to do things, simply because I'm having to overcome a feeling I’m not feeling... I wake frequently in the night with terror attacks (not that kind!). Everything wrong in my life thunders down on me and tears me apart at 3am, so I can't sleep.

Stress is also a trigger and can exacerbate symptoms of the menopause, I usually have a hot flush if I get very stressed (even playing a game, if it’s a tight spot I’m trying to get out of I can have a hot flush!). Arguments with my partner always have me crying, even when I try to stop it. I can’t help it at at, and I always have a hot flush. You feel very out of control of your body.

I’m trying to control my stress now with meditation. Now I know some of you might just roll your eyes at this—I know I did! Meditation? How can that possibly help??? But I’ve found it can have benefits, if only to stop you and give you a moment in your day of calm. You don’t have to clear your mind of all thoughts, it might help if you have a chant in mind like “breathe in, breathe out” or “calm”. Whatever. But if thoughts come, let them, examine them dispassionately, and turn them aside. Certainly don’t panic that you’re having them!

I tried meditating before when I was going through a bad relationship, and it didn’t really work. I got too twitchy, wondering where I was in a session, and the timer was jarring. However times have moved on (10 years—and boy have things changed!) and now you can get apps to help you with that.

I recommend Insight Timer (for most phones). You can use guided meditations, or create your own timer, which is that I’ve done. I have bells to tell me where I am in a meditation, you can have birds singing or water rushing (I didn’t go for that one, I have enough trouble (with my water works, thanks!), or just silence. There is a choice of bells, you can set your own times, and I’ve even created a short, silent one that vibrates at start and end for public spaces when I don’t want to use headphones. I also have a long one for when I have a bath, not perhaps pure meditation, but t’s restful.

Don’t expect miracles, but if it makes you feel a little less stressed and frantic—well, all the better.

It’s all in the ovaries

I’ve been reading a great deal about the adrenal glands recently. It seems that when your bodies’ hormones drop, the adrenal glands take up the slack, and produce estrogen and progesterone to try to get you back in balance. Because of this, they work overtime, and the stress and anxiety you feel during the menopause is own to the adrenal glands working overtime. It makes sense, right?

Now this is where we dip our toes into murky waters. Something called “adrenal exhaustion” is banded around a lot by new age healer types. Normal medicine doesn’t recognise this condition, and I’m not sure quite how much of it is just hyperbole.

But as I’m suffering from stress and very tired, I’m willing to try to relieve the pressure on my adrenal glands to see if it helps my menopausal symptoms. So meditation and vitamin B1 and B5 for me!

I’d love it if someone could do some research into this area, just to see if the adrenal glands are getting overworked. If there was a way to stop some of the symptoms that would be great—but I suspect it’s an oversimplification of a complex condition—and a great way to make some cash for alternative medicine. So far none of the treatments I’ve tried have made any real difference to how I feel, so I’m not convinced that there is any real merit to the claims.

Just remember, you always have to be on guard against people wanting the contents of your wallet—this can be an expensive condition if you don’t.

It’s just about the women

One of the things about the menopause is that it messes with your interpersonal relationships.

I'm not talking about you being too hot to sleep next to your loved one, or that you're off sex, but that it might even make you unsociable and feel a desperate need to be alone. I know I've shut off from my partner, which has led to a great deal of trouble between us. But it's not under my control. Even women with children have expressed a desire to get away from them all, and there are times when I want to be alone, yet don't.

So put all those last three "brain" symptoms together, and you can start to see why menopausal woman can be complete mental-cases. Seriously, menopausal women are not sane. They're dealing with a lot, and the menopause will test any relationship to the limit and beyond if the partner you are with is not sympathetic, or thinks you’re faking… or is under stress themselves.

Pushing a woman will help her get over it

Stress is a huge trigger for me, and for any women going through the menopause. Simply telling them to “get over it” won’t work (does it ever?), as I’m sure that most, like me, are already trying to rebel against everything their body is doing to them.

I can push myself, but the menopause is so overwhelming, the effort exhausts me. And having someone behind me endlessly telling me why I’m doing things wrong, how I could improve, and how much I’ve failed, has not helped me push pas the pain and exhaustion.

But also, I will push myself beyond my limits if I know I have to do it. It is possible to ignore your symptoms and do things you wouldn’t think you were capable of, especially if it’s for my partner. Sometimes, it’s just too much, and I can get overwhelmed. But I’m working on that.

It’s curable

Regretfully, this isn’t the case. All you can do it treat the symptoms, and wait for it to end. I discuss some of the treatments later on.

But the treatments come with side-effects. For me, HRT caused my stress levels to become huge, so I had to give up on it. HRT patches caused muscle damage to my legs. The anti-depressants supposed to reduce hot flushes caused them to get worse, and masked the depression caused by the anti-seizure drug (prescribed to again reduce hot flushes).

You have to try the treatments for yourself, and find what works. HRT might be the answer for you, and might get rid of every symptom. Some women love it so much they take it well into their sixties—simply because the symptoms return if they don’t take it. But it’s not a cure, and it carries risks.

It’s permanent

One of the strangest myths of the menopause is that women become “dried up” – mostly that their vaginal juices dry up and sex is uncomfortable due to the lack of lubrication. That’s not always true—I didn’t for example. But that particular symptom will probably go away once the menopause is over and normal function resumes.

Osteoporosis can be a permanent side effect, and so can some of the other bits. But most women bounce back after the menopause and feel better.

It’s always the menopause

Just one last word—get checked out by a doctor. You might be pregnant, have a thyroid issue, or be lacking in Iron or vitamin D. It could even be a kidney or liver issue, or, you might even been pregnant! But GO TO A DOCTOR, especially if you’re really tired. You could give yourself a few extra years of bouncing around in good health before the menopause hits!

You can make yourself better

If you’re lucky, you can. The right treatment can be transformative. However, if you’re saddled with a metabolism like mine, that seems to delight in giving me side-effects, then chances are you might struggle to get relief. So I suggest that you give up trying to be happy, and try to make it all bearable. See Surviving the menopause, further down.

You’re not alone

There are plenty of groups, and websites to go for support, and your family and doctor can offer as much as you can take.

But in a real sense, you can be very alone in the menopause. Your mix of symptoms are unique to you, and can be alienating to family and friends. With everything that you have to go through, it can be too much, and you’ll find that some people drop out of your life simply because they don’t get it. And people won’t understand unless they’ve been through it, just how uncomfortable you are. You’ll get a lot of “oh, hot all the time, that must be great in winter!” and other such blather. Even women can’t understand if they sailed through the menopause, they don’t understand the helplessness of things you used to do being suddenly out of your reach, how even a simple walk can have you soaking wet and in tears.

But you have to simply grit your teeth, and plough through it. If you have a job that you need to keep to support yourself, you have to prioritise your energy into that, and focus on keeping yourself as well and stable as you can. Friends who can’t be bothered with you “because it isn’t real” aren’t worth bothering with. The menopause exists, and it can do strange things to you, and you know that. If you’re lucky enough not to have a job, then perhaps you can put more into your family.

I know how hard it is. I struggle endlessly trying to maintain a full-time job as well as a house, and a partner who has become disillusioned with me and my condition, and frustrated that I’m not well enough to do certain things. Because I don’t show enthusiasm for things, I’m bringing him down. But I don’t have the energy left to fight for him and everything else that I need to do to keep my life going, and I’m foreseeing that we will break up soon. As a consequence, I’ve stopped trying as hard. I know I shouldn’t, but without someone pushing me, it’s all too easy to give up.

But you’re also alone in that only you can say what’s happening to your body. Only you can identify when a medicine is working—or not working. In a real sense you have to do your own medical research about conditions you have, and make sure that medicines work, and don’t cause harm.

Listen to your body!

What not to do with a menopausal women

One thing I really hate about the menopause is the casual lack of support I tend to get. When I say, “I’ve had a lot of hot flushes” people seemed to be compelled to say “but it’s been really hot”. Ok, so why aren’t you having hot flushes? It seems to be impossible for people to just simply say “oh dear” and not editorialise about their own lives and how they can’t sleep etc. I’m sympathetic, I really am, and perhaps it’s just the people I surround myself with, but it’d be really nice if people took it seriously, and understood that just because it’s hot, that doesn’t mean I’m having hot flushes because of that. I think it upsets me because I feel like you don’t care, that you’re dismissing my distress.

So I stop talking about it. It’s not because the symptoms have gone, it’s because I’m feeling isolated because I’m experiencing most people can’t grasp.

I’m lucky (?) that my partner doesn’t make jokes as he takes the condition a little too seriously. You think you're being funny. You're not. Remember, most menopausal woman are feeling vulnerable. They may laugh, but inside they're dying. Just make sure your partner is ok with jokes—especially if they draw more attention to their condition. The menopause is already a very public condition, and a lack of sympathy from you might just push a woman over the edge.

What can you do for a menopausal woman?

Support her. Accept that she can’t do everything she did before, and pushing is not the best thing for her. But gentle guidance is. Understanding that she has limits will help her so much—and accepting that perhaps your lives will either have to slow down for a little while, or you’ll have to find your own path while she rests. The menopause is re-writing her body and mind, and it may be she isn’t the same person afterwards.

And accept that it isn’t her fault, any more than it’s yours. It’s a “perfectly natural process” (note the sarcasm) that she has no control over, except perhaps in the luck that pills and potions will help.

What are the symptoms of the menopause?

These can vary from women to women, even in families.

Here's the standard list you'll find EVERYWHERE on the Internet:

Changing or irregular periods

Hot flushes and night sweats

Insomnia

Fatigue

Anxiety, mood swings, irritability and depression

Loss of confidence, feelings of being invisible

Changes in libido or sex drive

Weight gain

Dry skin

Vaginal dryness

Increased PMS

Urinary leakage or urgency

Aches and pains in muscles and joints (menopausal arthritis)

However, in my experience, it misses some other vital symptoms:

Muscle fragility: you can pull muscles with more regularity

Memory problems, especially around names of things ('m sure there's a word for that?)

Poor learning skills, the inability to learn new things.

An inability to connect to people, even people you love.

Need to be alone

Runny nose

Hair loss

Slow healing

Mix up words

Inability to concentrate

Breast pain

Headaches

Fear\anxiety attacks

Enhanced sense of smell

Cold sweats

If you are getting odd symptoms, look it up. I've done some really strange Google searches since I was diagnosed, and eventually you can find answers out there. But be careful of Dr Goole, it’s not always right (again, look for the agenda, and ward your wallet).

Getting it diagnosed

It's actually really easy to diagnose the menopause, a doctor can test for Follicle-stimulating hormones (FSH), or your estrogen levels. However, getting them to test for it is a problem if you're a bit younger.

I went to them with fatigue and feeling hot, and I had the feeling it was the menopause-- but they checked my thyroid. Three times. And my liver, kidneys, vitamin levels (that was low), but would not check my FSH levels. Finally had had huge ovary pains and I had to get them scanned, and after that the doctor agreed to test me for the menopause. It came back positive. Gosh, was I ever not surprised.

Another issue that isn't addressed is that you might be suffering from a huge vitamin deficiency going into the menopause. It's worth getting it checked out by a doctor, look for vitamin D and iron. If you feel tired, get it checked out.

Cure-alls

Cures are a little bit like snake oil-- some people will instantly get better with them, others won't, or will struggle with side affects.

CAUTION try these all you want, but three rules:

Try them one at a time.

Try them for a minimum of a month

Really listen to your body when you're trying them.

Do not try more than one at once! I made that mistake time and time again, and it doesn’t help you. All that happens id that side-effects from one cancel out or wreak the good from another-- or worse-- masks bad side effects. Be really careful, your body is already in flux.

Analyse what happens when you try the medications, not just after a day or even two weeks, but set a reminder for a month later. Takes notes on how you feel before you take the medication, and at various points throughout the month. Then go back and compare the first day to the last, have you improved really? The placebo effect can cause you to feel better at first, but only for a short time. Then your mind stops fooling your body, and reality sets in. It’s really important that you take notice of this, and stop any medication if it’s not helping, it may react in strange ways with other medication. But it’s also worth making the same notes when you come off them too.

Also-- consider coming off the pills once in a while. Make sure you get medical advice if it's prescribed, but if it's just vitamins, then stop them and see if anthing changes. I was recently sick (vomiting) so missed my usual handful of pills. I found I was cooler-' pills that had been helping (B6 and B12) were making me flush. They helped at first, but then became harmful. I might try them again later.

I would also be careful of these catch-all specific vitamin packages for the menopause. I realise this is not well known, but you can overdoes on a great many vitamins. Not only can you make yourself feel worse (Vitamin C makes me fell exhausted) but you can also cause organ damage. Make sure you are sticking to the recommended dose, and if you think a high dose would help, talk to a doctor. A doctor, not your alternative medicine practitioner. They may have experience in this matters, but they are not trained to cope when things go wrong. Take Black Cohosh, for example. One of my mother’s friends told to take a very high level of it everyday—an overdose level in fact, and had health issues after.

I would not be in such a bad state if I had really paid attention to what was happening to me when I took the medication. You may be ok, you may have no problems. But each time you take something new, monitor yourself really carefully.

And take medical advice when coming off medications. I’m lucky, I’ve taken myself off all the prescription meds with the only side-effects being the return of my menopausal symptoms. And no, I didn’t get hooked on Prozac!

I describe below my experiences of the various medications, but to be honest most haven't worked, or made things worse. St John's Wort is managing my anxiety, and Wild Yam cream helps reduce the heat on my breasts. But you have to try them yourself, and be your own judge as to if they have worked. Tell your partner what you are using, and possible side-effects, and ask them to tell you if you have changes in personality. But always, always check your own reactions.

Remember, I am not a doctor, and am not making recommendations as to medications you should try. If in doubt, talk to a doctor and get medical advice before trying any of the below. The experiences below are mine, and may not happen to you.

Prescription medication

The Pill (for younger patients): not tried.

HRT: Worked to a small degree, but increased my stress and anxiety levels to intolerable amounts. Even using with St John’s Wort did not stop the anxiety at 2mg. I will try a lower dose to see if it works.

As an aside, I tried the patches which are supposed to give you a higher dose. I started to get huge pains in my knees, which I ignored because I was so depressed (see Dixarit). Once I got myself together I went back on the pill, and the pain faded. However, it did a lot of damage to the muscles in my knees (the patches go below your ovaries). Was it the patch or the lack of exercise? My doctor said he didn’t think it was the patches, but I know I noticed a difference when I went back to the pills. Again, watch yourself when you try something new! I also hated the patches because they would peel off if I got really sweaty, which felt very limiting. PRO TIP: I used 3M Tegaderm transparent film dressing (10cmx12cm) over the patch after a few days. It helped extend the life of the patch and didn’t irritate my skin. Go for the ones without a pad (just all film) as then you can see what the patch is doing. I tended to leave sweaty jobs like mowing the lawn until the day it was due to be replaced so it didn’t matter if it peeled off.

Dixarit \Clonidine (for treatment of high blood pressure, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety disorders, migraine, and hot flushes): Gave me headaches, and made me very, very depressed. Because I was taking Fluoxetine at the same time I had no idea I was depressed as I felt nothing. When I was depressed I spent literally four to five hours of my day in bed, and ate hugely. I gained a massive amount of weight and spent so much money I am tens of thousands in debt. Horrible, horrible time.

Fluoxetine: this is Prozac under a generic name. This made me feel hotter, and very numb. I can’t recommend it, but I have a history of not getting on with anti-depressants. It also didn’t stop my anxiety from the menopause.

Beta blockers: Not tried, I have asthma so can’t.

Alternative therapies

Black cohosh: did nothing.

Red clover: did nothing.

St John's Wort (do not use with the Pill if you use it as a contraceptive—it can stop it working): Stopped one of my core anxieties. Be careful, a high dose made me very weepy!

Wild Yam cream: helps a little with the heat on my breasts, but it’s a short-term relief, perhaps just from the coolness of the cream. You can also get the pill form, I’m trying that next.

Evening Primrose oil: did nothing.

B vitamins: I take B12, B5 and B6. I did take one pill containing them all, but it made me feel worse. Which is why I recommend you tailor your treatment with separate pills.

Vitamin C: Made me very tired. I know it was a C because I could track when it would kick in… You have to be careful with certain vitamins as if you take too high a does your body has to work to get rid of them.

Sage: did nothing.

Vitamin E: did nothing.

Acupuncture: not tried. I have a horror of this kind of treatment.

Yoga: Still not tried, though I tried pilates. Didn’t help.

Exercise: This works. Except I get really hot when I do it, and I have to really force myself to do any exercise. It doesn’t help I had a huge issue with my knees that makes walking painful (physiotherapy is helping me recover my ability to walk). But if I exercise, it helps my symptoms. It’s so frustrating that it’s so hard. I’ve just bought an exercise bike so I can wear skimpy clothes and have a fan on me without feeling horribly embarrassed. It works really well.

Eat well: Again, this works when I can force myself into having the discipline. It’s really difficult as ten years ago I was very overweight, and I lost it all. When I went through the depression I gained a great deal of weight, and now can’t find the strength to get back to my lower weight. I want it so badly, and I know it’s easy if you just ignore the call of chocolate, but I can’t get my body to stop craving the bad stuff.

Gluten free: I tried this as I thought it would give me energy, but it actually didn’t. My initial test of 2 weeks went well, I felt amazing! But this was before I had my tips for trying new things—and now I look back I realise I fell for the placebo effect that made me think it was doing me good. Many medicines have a good effect in the first two weeks, then they show their true colours. I’m back eating wheat, and I feel no different from when I was gluten free (though I had a few side-effects at first until my body got used to the gluten again). I only tried because my body was desperately craving something, and I figured it was wheat. I was right. I can’t say it gave me more energy to be on the wheat, but I don’t have less.

Vegan: I don’t believe the hype around veganism at all, but diet can help, so it may be that works. However, don’t throw away your pills, I don’t think that cutting out meat and dairy is the best thing to do, especially if you’re in danger of osteoporosis. Make sure if you take this route you consult a doctor or nutritionist on the best way to do it, and again, try it for a while. If you don’t feel better, consider if it’s worth the effort. It’s worth noting that my partner is dairy-free (he really does had an intolerance) and I often eat vegan, but it’s never really struck me as helping. But perhaps that’s just because I’m eating a whole load of other rubbish too!

Meditation: I have found a measure of control with meditation that I lacked before. But it might just be the St John’s Wort kicked in fully at the time? Who knows. I tend to have a bath with my meditation app running, just to increase the feeling of calm. If nothing else it’s a bit of time in your day for yourself, and can be done at work if you have a quiet space you can use.

Surviving the menopause

So here are my suggestions:

Exercise. I know, you can’t. Neither can I. This horrible weight that sits on you during the menopause stops you from doing all sorts of things. But do it. If you hate going outside, try buying an exercise bike. I’ve just bought one, and don’t flush as badly with it when I exercise. Also, I can wear skimpy clothes and have a fan on me…

· Listen to your body. This is very important, especially when taking medication. It also goes with:

· Learn your triggers. What makes symptoms flare up? Coffee is not one for me, but hot rooms are. It’s all about identifying the worst, and avoiding, or having strategies to cope.

· Create a safe space. I have my own room that is unheated and I can flee to at home. I’m also lucky in that I work from home a lot of the time, so I can control my work environment easily—I know many of you won’t be able to. You may have to talk to your manager about help if you have a work environment that’s particularly difficult for you.

· Fans everywhere. I own multiple fans, and carry them with me.

· Get used to embarrassment. You will end up telling complete strangers about this condition. There’s no doubt about that. I can guarantee that you’ll have to whip out a fan and fan yourself, or undress, or do something strange multiple times during the duration of this condition. Get used to it!

· Ice on tap. I have mostly iced drinks, so make sure there’s always ice in the freezer. It can be useful to have ice packs in there too, but be careful about how long you apply them. Mine usually melt before they become harmful!

· Minimise stress. Try meditation, and cut things out of your life that are causing you more stress than their worth. Otherwise—I know it’s very difficult to avoid stress. Simply being in the menopause is stressful enough. Don’t procrastinate, short deadlines will only make it worse.

· Prioritise carefully. You have to work out what is most essential, and do that. For example, having to work to earn a living comes first, housework second, with whatever’s left for everything else like relationships and even fun. I know that’s not a great way to live, but the menopause is about survival, not living, above all you need to support yourself and pay the mortgage, unless you’re lucky enough to have a partner who can do that for you, and left you focus on other things.

· Be a little bit selfish. Don’t try to help everyone, you should ask for help instead.

· Watch what you eat. Coffee can be a trigger, hot food, chilli—if you have flushes after eating these you might want to consider alternatives. I usually have a flush after a hot meal, so try to make sure I’m cool beforehand. And eat less. Eating until you’re full can also be a trigger.

· Consider your wardrobe carefully. Layers are a must, but you should examine everything you wear. I wear boots all winter—correction—I used to. Now I wear summer shoes all winter too. I wear t-shirts that are low-cut, and light trousers. And I wear all black because it doesn’t show the stains, though I accessorise in bright colours where I can. No tights or skirts—regretfully. Even my bag changes with the seasons, from always having a leather bag I now switch to cloth in summer simply because it doesn’t make me hot like leather.

Recommended products

None of these sponsor me, but I can recommend them highly. As you can see, I shop at Amazon a lot, but use these as references, you can pick up the same or similar products elsewhere.

Electric fan: this one is quietish, but also gives a good, strong blast of air. It also has a really shrill beep whenever you press a button that you can’t shut off, not ideal if you have to change it at 3am. Because it’s a vertical blade of air you can focus is a little better on just you, and it’s long enough to cover a larger area of your body (head to hip, for example). I use it at night on the lowest setting if it’s hot. PRO TIP: If you have to have a fan on at night, and the noise bothers you, try focussing on it. Really listen to it, and when your mind wanders, push it back to listening to it. It can help train your mind to ignore the noise because your brain gets bored of heading it, and tunes it out!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B002AH3BCK (unfortunately this one is unavailable, but there are other tower fans available)

Hand fan: I cannot recommend the electric ones, they don’t have the grunt to get you cool. But these really work—just get used to strange looks and stranger comments! And one arm will get really strong J https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B004RB76V4/

Ice pack: These ice packs are ok, you “break” the inside pocket and then mix the two chemicals inside to create the cold. But, they don’t last long, and it isn’t really cold, so it’s not terribly effective. They can help you get through a hot occasion when a fan isn’t enough. I take them to gigs to get me over the last half-hour or so.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000W07BO6/

Medical ice pack in freezer: Pretty much any icepack will do, be careful of usage though as you can burn yourself with them. You can also use a frozen bottle of water, which is good if you’re out and about as you can sip the water too (or pour it down yourself—as I have done!)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01CGTU91W/

Ice spray: Another ok product, the cooling effect is ok, and better if you fan yourself. Again, it doesn’t last too long but it can be helpful if you’re in a hot situation.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B001LK8HD0/

Insulated flask: I love this flask. Fill it full of ice cubes and water, and you have a refreshing drink whenever you need it. I bought this one as it has a flip top—but obviously buy to your budget. I recommend getting an insulated flask as they stay cooler for longer. Even on a very hot day this one has had ice cubes left in it by the end of the day. Plus it’ll save you money on bottled water, and it’s better for the environment.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B004DGJLXE/

(tip: buy one of these to clean it out properly otherwise you end up with a nasty deposit in the bottom https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00AMACY52/)

3M Tegaderm transparent film dressing (10cmx12cm): This is if you use HRT patches, and helps to keep them attached.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01CGTU91W/

Air conditioner: My brother actually gave me mine. It’s heavy, awkward, expensive to run, and sounds like an aircraft setting off, so it’s not for sleeping with. You also need a nearby open window to vet it, so it’s a pain. But in the really hot weather, it can help cool a room for sleeping, and dehumidify as well. I waited a long time to get one as I debated the use, but I’m glad I bought it in the end. Be wary of cheaper alternatives, some will only cool the area immediately in front of them, or only work when humidity is low. And as a tip: buy in the winter. The price will only go up as the weather gets hotter.

Yam cream: I love this stuff. I put it on my breasts, and it seems to soothe the heat in them. This does come from the US, so you will have to wait a while for them to arrive. I also suggest if you are in the UK you only order 3 at a time, ordering more can mean you pay import taxes, which is £8 + the actual charge, so it can be costly. And try not to order from the sources in the UK, they tend to charge a good 3x on the US price, it’s worth sending for it from Piping Rock direct.

https://gb.pipingrock.com/wild-yam/wild-yam-cream-4-oz-113-g-jar-2181

And finally, lube. If you are struggling to have sex, try Astroglide Natural Lubricant. If that doesn't suit, try another. But you might find it really makes sex more comfortable.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B003Q4HWHQ

Coming to the end?

I actually haven't reached this point yet, so I can't tell you. I have be assured by many websites that it does end-- and been told by my mother that she still has symptoms.

However, about a year ago I did suddenly start feeling cold, and very anxious. I came off the HRT and the cold and anxiety disappeared-- but the hot flushes returned. But I feel as though this is a new stage in the menopause, so hopefully it will start to cycle down now and leave me alone. But as the average length of the menopause is 7-10 years, I don’t have too much hope that that will happen very soon. But I’m picking up my mental attitude, and exercising, as well as meditating and cutting down on treat food (I don’t believe in diets— I think they’re doomed to failure). I feel stronger, and I’m hoping I have finally found the key to making my menopause go away.

I don’t mean to be overly negative about the menopause—if you want to get through it you need to have as positive attitude as you can. If you wallow in self-pity or become a “victim” of it, then the menopause will bite you back.

It’s hard, I know, to be motivated all the time, and it’s hard to find positivity when everything you do leaves you soaked in sweat and exhausted, and your loved ones complain about how distant you are or how you never want to do anything— but if you do stay positive, meditate, exercise and eat well, then you have the basis to get through it with a little more ease. You need to fight it without fighting it, if that makes sense. Don’t give in to the impulse to sit around or nap all day—I’ve done that, and it honestly doesn’t help.

And if you want to be envious, I recently met a woman who had started the menopause at 39, and finished at 42. She was having awful hot flushes, and they just stopped dead. So it does happen, and best of luck to you if you are going through it, you're not alone!

Mark Lanegan, Manchester Academy 2, 05/03/2012

2012-03-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

Well, my continuing theme of 'let's write about gigs long after they occurred' is about to get worse as I'm on holiday next week, and have two gigs before I leave, and no time to post. Ah well.

So, Mark Lanegan. I've been listening to him since I heard 'Hit the City' on Kerrang...seven years ago, and he had got me though some of the roughest times of my life. But never seen him in concert, as no only didn't he tour, but when he did tour with SoulSavers (whom also also like, hell, 90% of the songs were covers of his material!), I bought a ticket to go, and it snowed. A lot. Masses. And as it was to a place I had never been to, a long distance from home, well, basically I decided to not go.

So when I heard he was touring (after seeing an ad on the walls on the Academy!) I had to go. Which made a change, as for once my boyfriend didn't know Mr. Lanegan's work, so I introduced him to it. (He loves it by the way).

So we get there, fashionably late as usual, and the place is packed. Not just slightly busy, packed to the rafters. I had no idea what to expect, the stage was simple, with no set, just a microphone and instruments.

He came on stage, last, but there was little fanfare. He didn't introduce himself, just started to sing with that amazing voice. And that was it, just song after song, with a brief intro of the band (which my boyfriend said was incomprehensible) and when he returned from the false encore, a quick, faintly sarcastic 'thanks'.

But it didn't matter. The music was amazing, and although the sound quality occasionally let them down, the majority was crystal clear. It was all very emotional, and I loved it.

They also didn't change the lighting, so no flashing lights etc, but also no decent photos or film. But at least I finally got to see him!

Forget about visuals, I couldn't see myself! There are a couple of clips of him where I put my hand above the crowd, but I just won't do that for long periods as other's can't see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpEkzLIpOsg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiJqkpW0ulg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsThVgQ9JS8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7NaLYt-RPI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p04pifNWLo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyOI47cZ9Ig

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQJuV5Uhfik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZUciEjSiDk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLEu75GnIVQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7KG1OiF6J8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm5eOyOLNBQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ykj_bcreb0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIL0LAuBln0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6EqUEUqgkM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuuS3KM181k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQiiOWvDqQk

Now available at Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/author/georgeebirch

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

Got a Kindle? Get this blog delivered directly to it! UK and USA

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Rammstein, Manchester Evening News Arena (MEN), 1/3/2012

2012-03-06T06:00:00.002-08:00

Nothing like a good, industrial metal gig to get you set up for the year ahead... and Rammstein delivered in spades! In fact, there was so much going on in this gig...I'm not sure I'll remember it all!

To start with, we could see there was a stage in the middle of the arena. Mark told me that apparently they played a couple of songs there, but I couldn't see how they got accross. Then I noticed they were making a channel through the seated and standing fans with a wall of security. Then the lights went down, and they were walking down the steep seating into the center of the arena! The crowd naturally went wild, and being opposite we had quite a good view.

They didn't stop, however, as a large gantry was lowered down for them to walk from the mini stage across to the main stage. It was amazing, and as they got to the main stage, 'Sonne' started.

Although the quality of the video isn't very clear, we could hear every note. I noticed that Till Lindemann was stood very still, when suddenly flames came around him! Which is pretty typical for Rammstein, pyrotechnics the lot of them I think...

The gig certainly wasn't for the faint-hearted as there were plenty of very loud bangs as they continued to entertain us with hit after hit. The set was magnificent, very stark and industrial, but I loved the back-cloth that had a cellular look to it, in fact a lot of the set was very Giger-like. I loved the bunkers either side of the stage...I think they were needed for the support staff.

Other features included Till showering in sparks (which must have looked amazing from the floor) and roasting Christian Lorenz (in a fetching silver gimp suit) in a vat.

About half-way though there was a 'break' and Christian went crow-surfing in a very unsteady inflatable boat (I think the crowd wanted to give him a thrill), and then one of the crew went to the small stage. The rest of Rammstein were then led over the bridge that came down to the small stage, where they played a few songs, during which Till performed a sex act on Till, then rewarded the crowd by getting his Johnson out and, um, 'spraying' the crowd.

After they returned to the main stage, they played 'Engel', and Till came on stage as an angel, shooting flames from his wings.

Their last song, 'Pussy' was about as subtle as the song suggests, but notable as Till rode across the front of the stage on a giant penis, spewing foam (wink, wink) on the first few rows of the crowd.

All in all, they were magnificent, and if you can see them, it's worth the ticket piece. Just expect for there to be some no-very-suggestive suggestive bits.

For a metal band Rammstein can have some really tender songs, and are certainly worth a go. Just wear flame-retardant undies, and don't stand in the spunk zone...

Germans. Subtle to the end!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t74UARbPuhY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ODVIXYO6Zw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcJ9Glw2W6U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EP6FPsx-m0k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD8Tl1QquNw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPCsi4okteo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNhaaObDB-E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXl8H6Due2U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve8nzJnDuRs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxYJetzyU-k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVlOpLjEu6I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tHd0Omltds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aon5nHsYxz8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcUGoZNIaD4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XdvXnD5yas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7R5O-DFE_Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf81lm_lTJY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2QJ6b5NO6U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TB-CFDE520

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oij6f-Z-T6g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i82CW5uOo-0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvZpA7FYm0w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rM3TOuNP9A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7uituSQIfs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odbJClIRJvk

Dream Theater, Manchester 02 Apollo, 9/2/2012

2012-02-27T05:05:00.001-08:00

Between being ill and work, this gig was now quite a long time ago...

The band was great, and I loved the set, there were three 'cube' screens hanging over them showing little clips etc, although to be honest the size and shaped often interfered with the images so you couldn't tell what they were...

The crowd were completely mad, apart from sitting in front of the toilet entrance which meant we got to see everyone who needed a piss passing in front of us, they were also very happy to see the band. Each time the lead singer came onto the stage there was a lot of cheering, roaring and fist waving.

Dreamweaver themselves were very good, the sound was excellent, even if the lead vocalist faded a few times and was lost in the music...not his fault I suspect, just poor levels. Still, it was far better quality than Mastodon!

Overall it was a great evening, and very kindly they ended the gig at 10:30, brilliant for a mid-week gig!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDXlUoYYOkE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxE5-vzz-Zs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpNVotB4bAU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Uy3Zpt4nsk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNzlK3MEFSY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQJK1eBMuKk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW-3hAiAheg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNzlK3MEFSY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQJK1eBMuKk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGZIU4mc_NE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pl3dj_JwNC4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlWA7CmSuL0

Mastodon, Manchester Academy, 06/02/2012

2012-02-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

I love Mastodon, and have been to see them before, but just as I was getting to know their music, so I was really looking forward to this gig.

Unfortunately, I was to be disappointed. Now let me get this straight, it wasn't Mastodon's fault. From what I could hear, the music was well played, with enthusiasm and with lots of detail...we just couldn't hear it. There was way too much emphasis on being 'heavy', which resulted in the music getting lost.

Now Mastodon is a heavy group, I agree (in facial hair terms if nothing else!) but they also have a lot of intricacies in their music that I really enjoy. Some pieces were so badly rendered it took until the chorus for me to work out what the song was...

Plus it was sold out, with the inevitable crowds. Eventually we backed off to outside the merchandise stand so I could put my hand over my head to get a view..ish.

So as I say, not Mastodon's fault, but frustrating as I love the band. They need to try the Club Academy, much better quality. Or move up to MEN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVrX9cLOW8U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Uk83gdaauc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEOqrT1GdKU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deoD1cGy1S8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MReoyHorYt8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjsGcWwuds4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFgfk-v0HIA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8G_35jxWHk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaeNUCerX6U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAgQRhh0UEk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZvv38FoQK8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFGtSwopf-A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjbaSsSaLeA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB9YTzIlS2M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFbt6P2MSbc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH7M0KIkqao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcOJ6YwcPU0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsr4IpqnKEY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoQmvhJXCpk

Biohazard, Manchester Club Academy, 31/1/2012

2012-02-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

We went to see Biohazard and a band called Suicidal Tenancies. Due to unknown reasons, ST didn't show, so we ended up getting there just before 10.

They did an amazing, storming set that really got the crowd going. I have to say that the sound quality for the gig was top-notch, and the set was excellent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFsVPsG_53U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpi-ZuCWTVg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTH6NkTF2-s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc1xA96K0gE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie9tw4hJ_Ns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz2Sf0n8C4g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvPabcPx0EA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49iFlWxwRU8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Idi1YhWaBGQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFQvJDGvv3I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfBDhwsrpE0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjfIKlAchRw

***Fun fact!!!!!!!*** The game Resident Evil is called Biohazard in Japan. BUT because of the band, they couldn't use the name, so came up with Resident Evil instead. Ok, now you can go impress your friends!!!!!!!!*

*At which point they will look at you as if you are strange, and say, 'Well, uh, yeah?'

Now available at Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/author/georgeebirch

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

Got a Kindle? Get this blog delivered directly to it! UK and USA

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Clutch and Thin Lizzy, Manchester 02 Apollo, 28/01/2012

2012-01-31T08:25:00.000-08:00

This was the first time I had seen either band, so I was pretty interested to see how they would work out.

Clutch is one of the more unusual bands we listen to, the music is often blues, stoner rock, punk for the early stuff, my boyfriend has described the lead singer (Neil P. Fallon) as sounding like a demented preacher...

The set was underwhelming, but with music like this, who needs flashing lights and all that stuff? The music was raw and uncompromising, with plenty of energy, and Fallon's voice was lovely and strong.

http://www.pro-rock.com/

Thin Lizzy were the opposite end, they came onto stage with a mini-light show, and lots of glitz.I was pretty curious as I remember Phil Lynott singing the originals, so it was interesting to see how Ricky Warwick from The Almighty would fill his shoes.

Well, he did an amazing job. Although he doesn't have quite the same range as Phil, his voice has enough growl and sounds amazingly like Phil did...not that that's always a good thing, but in this case it fitted well. I was never a fan of Thin Lizzy (they 'were just there' as a band, I didn't dislike them, but I didn't seek them out either), so perhaps some fans hate it because he's taken over.

The show was brilliant, with some great light and smoke, plus also glitter puffed out at the audience.

It did give me a question though, when does a band stop being the 'original'? When all the original members are gone? But what if a 'new' member has been in the band for 20+ years? Are they 'enough' to keep the band going? I guess it's like trying to reassemble the Beatles with just Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. Technically it's the 'real' band...but...

http://www.thinlizzy.org/home.html

(Apologies for the view, without holding my hands above my head that was as good as I could get)

Clutch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiKxSCSfF-o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P1NG7tI2R0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3m8nNdELXE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYwPKmOdEVI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlwXMOOzGPk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ6vFp-Ijh8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZEnj-ugdv4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqTaHim2vi8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsFLBQKp_Rg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8AoIWtlDw0

Thin Lizzy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ4kVd823HA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9mjAAcCTO4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCa73mZ02bQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xf8NICjiXk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqhrmTMMW4E

101** things you can do with a paperback you can't do with a Kindle

2012-01-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

Build shelves*
Swat at a fly*
Read in the bath*
Read in the rain*
Light a fire with* (ironically the Kindle doesn't make good kindling!)
Fend off an attacker*
Research materials when civilization ends (such as Zombie attacks). This is possible with a Kindle, but only if you get in before the servers go down. See also *, but then again, civilization just ended, who cares about the bill!
Create a book page sculpture (like this http://www.guylaramee.com/)
Prop up a wobbly chair *
Stem bleeding
Mop up a spill
Advertise what you are reading to attract that gorgeous bloke who always sits in the coffee shop reading and brooding
Go to the loo with*
Plug a leak*
Stand on to make you taller*
Not make you uncomfortable when you go through customs wondering it they need to know it's there or not, and telling them anyway, then having them stare at you as though you're stood there gibbering in a made-up language.
Use to protect mother's dining table when you're scribbling a note*
Use as a sketch-pad (unless you've got a fancy-pants non-Kindle, you know, the one with the short battery life!)
Create papier-mâché
Stop an elevator*
Read it 300 years later (yeah, I'm sure the technology will last that long...)
Hide things in the pages (unless it's just a note)
Exchange for money (although you can just sell your whole Kindle)
Put on a bookshelf to show off your taste to your friends
Read large format versions (sorry Kindle, you don't do so well)
Clean windows and other items
Flick backwards to find the name of that character three chapters ago (no so easy with the Kindle)
Build a house (in a dry place)*
Pile on you for warmth*
Take a bullet for you (if it's a thick book. Perhaps a hardback. I'm not sure the Kindle would manage)
Survive a two-year old (with tape and drying)
Use it as a hat
Blow your nose with it
Get your partner's attention*
Read with no power
Signal for help, if it's a really shiny cover. Or just set it on fire!
Use as a source of heat and light*
Eat from it*
Cut out pages and post them into your school project (you vandal!)
Survive a handbag (actually, my Kindle has done ok so far, but I love my Kindle, and I look after him and love him and pet him and call him George)
Cost you money once you've bought it (charging!)
Compost it
Use as a tissue* (uncomfortable!)
Insulation (open, put on chest, close jacket. Or in the loft.)
Create a small ransom note with the letters
Create a lampshade

*Technically possible, just very expensive.
** Not actually 101 things. But that's what you say, right? And I did try. But, you know, it was getting late, and I was kind of bored...

Now available at Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/author/georgeebirch

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award (ABNA)

2012-01-23T08:28:00.000-08:00

I've entered the ABNA award with Loser's Club, so wish me luck!

I have entered competitions before, but only with short stories, this is my first novel to go up there.

For the pitch I've used a combination of information about the novel and me...

Welcome to the Loser's Club. To join you only need one qualification, having nowhere better to go.

Cera is a loser, something she would never admit to the world, but can't help but admit to herself. When she is sent to the Loser's Club by an ex-friend, she soon finds that she's not alone. And that not only do loser's live in the shadows, they live off them too.

Meet the crazy cat lady tortured by local kids, the black widow feasting off her husbands, the music lover who is passionate about nothing else, and all manner of desperate and dangerous loners who congregate at the Loser's Club.

Tales of sex, murder and cats, Loser's Club is a look at the average side of life, that turns out to be anything but.

I've has been writing since I was very small, my first effort being the gigantic (and illustrated) epic, 'Ball with Spots', which is a whopping 10 pages long. I still own one of the only copies left in existence.

I also read, possibly far more than is healthy for a normal mortal.

The next stage isn't until late February, so we'll see if I get though.

You can read more at http://www.amazon.com/b?node=332264011

VNV Nation, Manchester Academy, 6/1/2012

2012-01-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

Another strange gig, but then again VNV Nation are a strange band. They are a mix of dance and Goth, which meant mostly a very dark clothed audience, but with the odd neon-clad youngster.

The audience were also a mix of old and young as the band has been running for a long time now. The band members are also on the um...mature side, so it was all very eclectic,

The music itself has an odd mix of bouncy tunes with very somber and meaningful lyrics, making the whole gig an even more surreal experience!

All in all though, they were excellent, the music was clear and recognizable, and from the heat being generated by the audience (and the moshing carrying all the way to the back) I think they entertained all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_V_skD_nzY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GrwtS4pcvA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNkDaieApks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQXIN12O7Ys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvuzYnYqSbI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oaw5GR2pBY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j9rD4I6Gdc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im_4XTo0r4Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv-1QpY_a2o

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

14 Belmont Street

2012-01-06T05:14:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine ended up living in what she described as a haunted house. She did experience some weired things, and managed to get a few of them on tape. I have to admit that I used quite a few of the things she described in my book Writer, although naturally I exaggerated them! The house was very strange because it was a rental, and was fully furnished. All she knows is that the owners moved away, but she found quite a few personal things around the house.

One of the oddest was a clothing dummy (with no head) that was being stored in the garage, but kept making it's way into the house. I suspect her boyfriend on this one, he knew she was a bit freaked out so would leave it for her in strange places. There was also a matching wig that was the same as her hair colour, making her even more upset with it!

She would hear a lot of noises at night, things like crying, furniture being moved, that sort of thing. Occasionally she would feel there was someone else in the house, even though she knew her boyfriend was away for work (which is when most of these things happened). It happened so often she started to keep her camera next to her bed so she could tape anything that happened, although due to her computer malfunctioning since she was in the house, she's found it difficult to give me a copy of everything. The computer was odd because it would revert back to a previous set of settings, like a different wallpaper etc, and files added would not be there, no even in the recycle bin, then she'd log on again and everything would be OK.

The electrics were very unpredictable, the lights would go out, even though none of the fuses had tripped. They had it looked at several times, but the electrician could never find a fault, and of course it was all working OK.
They even tried some kind of filter on the camera to see if they could find a ghosty or two, but there wasn't anything on the screen.

She left after a year, I don't know honestly how she stuck it out, but has continued to have computer problems since then. I told her she should reinstall Windows (sounds like a dodgy version to me!) but she won't because she's still convinced some of the movies she took will re-appear on it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC77oo2IZcI

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Gigiquette

2012-01-06T04:56:00.000-08:00

I think it's about time a gig etiquette was set up. I for one are a little tired by the manners of some of the gig goers out there...

If you want to take photos: no flash.
Do not hold a camera above your head unless there is non-one behind you. If you have to, make it quick, please don't film an entire song.
try not to have a bright screen glaring out at all times.
Don't film the whole gig. Enjoy it!
No hats. If you must wear a hat, take it of when the band starts.
Do not talk if you don't like the song that is currently on. I realise that I am stood at the back of the venue, but it's not because I'm not a fan, it's because I don't like getting trampled. I have paid a lot of money to listen to the artist on stage, and quite simply you are rude to talk as they perform. If you must be such an animal, please return to the bar.
Do not have a family/friend reunion in the back of the gig. I do not want to be distracted by you cuddling/talking/squealing.
No alcohol. This is related to:
Drunken dancing. OK, but if I have to duck one more time to avoid your flailing arms I'm going to have to stick out my leg and trip you.
No bellowing during the song. Again, you like them, we get it. Shut up.
No singing along. I paid to hear them, not you. Or at least get the words right.
No staggering against me and telling me you love me. Thanks, but I have a boyfriend, and your breaths stinks. I also like my shoes un-vomited on, thanks.
If we're all sitting, stay seated. I have paid for my ticket and would rather not have to stand just because you want a better view.
No moving once the band is on. Seriously, what is it with all the people leaving and returning? I thought you wanted to see these guys!
No dissing the support act. OK, so you don't like them. Do I have to listen to the stream of abuse coming out of your mouth while I try to enjoy them?
No throwing glasses. Please. I hate going home smelling of beer because you're a tool.
For the band: no fake encores. Ever. Just stop it, and let your ego go, dudes.
No tall people. Damn, that's me...

Duran Duran, Manchester Evening News Arena, 16/12/2011

2011-12-19T02:58:00.000-08:00

This gig had been delayed since June due to voice issues, so it was with relief that the gig actually went ahead. We'd been told to expect a lot of middle-aged women waving knickers at the stage during this gig, fortunately although the place was crammed with women and men, they were of my age (I'm not middle-aged am I???) and there were no voluminous panties being flung at the stage. Which is perhaps a good thing as we were quite a distance away!

The event was being filmed, which is perhaps why it took so long for them to get on stage, but when they go there, they did an excellent set of both new and 'classic' tracks. Most people stood up, but as this is the fourth gig in a week for us, we decided to sit, which is why occasionally the view gets obscured. I also had to hide the camera from the security who were taking an interest in people filming the gig... plus also the amount of ladies that got up and went past us...either then needed incontinence pants, or they should cut down on the alcohol intake...

They had quite an interesting feature, well two if you count the girders that had lights on them (for the filming???), they had several faces projected onto large plastic faces over the stage. Naturally it was the band, plus the lady singer who came in for some of the tracks. She had an amazing voice by the way. It was a nice touch, plus they also got the crowd involved by getting one girl to introduce Simon Le Bon and also another to start The Reflex (I think...). He also sported a very dodgy beard.

I haven't listened to the band since the '80's, in fact I didn't really listen to them then either, but of course I knew the songs pretty well. They did a great job of getting the audience up and moving, and it was a great evening out!

Oh, and we got out of the car park really quickly, which is good as the MEN is a pain...

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/duran-duran/2011/manchester-evening-news-arena-manchester-england-33d1106d.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNWnbsR5ZhM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeI4tW64XPM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ziRVq06HFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_78-MvXA2w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atz5OPMkqNk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRU8QSm6vH8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoLqwZSED80

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRnzibJa2JQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYd7GI6D0Yc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NokKe_Kf24o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMt5ruWn1FI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTSTReHewdk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf2-om2qI1M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTSgbECTPao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Cfn2W8q7JA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJs6ulXOMEM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37qrro1NL1M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0BsXScaxsQ

Marillion, Manchester Academy, 12/12/2011

2011-12-16T06:40:00.000-08:00

Marillion is another band I do not know well, but was introduced to by my boyfriend, who is a very big fan!

We arrived just on time to see the band. I was blown away by the performance, Steve Hogarth has an amazing voice that just soared though every song. He was quite the showman too, acting out some of the lyrics in a way that was amusing as well as moving.

He also tried a little carol near the end, with an amusing bit of banter I had to capture!

The fans were amazing throughout, I overheard an impassioned conversation about live albums in the ladies, and there wasn't any talking at all. The cheers and clapping after each song went on for far longer than I have ever seen of with any band, astonishing.

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/marillion/2011/manchester-academy-manchester-england-53d11b21.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQYeTHWfVG8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or_htcBNlpQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI_HqfSsNmM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ9iMfyU_UA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBk6x8CvaKs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POMGyJWaLPo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7gvDEPdTqI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFDk-5f15iY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vwL1d4Axe8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPdTldGmE2s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YYnP2Yn2ew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZnZRVIKo98

dragoncity publishing

Steel Panther, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Manchester Evening News Arena (MEN), 13/12/2011

2011-12-16T05:59:00.000-08:00

First off, I'm not a big Motely or Leppard fan. I don't remember Motely at all, but I do remember some of Leppard's stuff. Just never quite got into either.

However Steel Panther, well, they're old friends. http://writerthinker.blogspot.com/2011/06/guilty-pleasures-2.html.

Steel Panther

So I was really looking froward to seeing them, especially as they are touring in March, just when we will be in Edinburgh meeting a new addition to the family...and going to a horror film festival. Multi-tasking? Yeah.

And I wasn't disappointed, they were brilliant. The music was lively and fun (and sexist) and they kept in character, Lexxi Foxxx was grooming at every opportunity. They are a spoof band, and they do have very evil lyrics, but the show was amazing, the quality of the music played was top-notch, and each song clearly and well delivered. The banter between songs could get a little strained at times, but mostly it was funny, in keeping with the band, and well delivered. Long live da Pather!

And I'd love to see them with the money for a huge set...

Oh, and there was a lot of spandex and long wigs in the audience. Not quite sure which band they were all dressed up for...

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/steel-panther/2011/manchester-evening-news-arena-manchester-england-43d11f8b.html

Motley Crue

After not too long a break, da Crue were up. The stage set was amazing, the drummer was sat in a giant wheel, so I was waiting for the drum solo knowing he was going for a ride! They had brilliant pyrotechnics, and the light show was fantastic. During Girls, Girls, Girls, a photo of Justin Bieber showed in the photos of ladies!

And what photos. As I enjoyed the music it occurred to me just how much of this music is about sex and women, and how Steel Panther may take it to the crudest point, but in reality they are just simply taking the subtleties out of the music, and saying what the other bands didn't dare say! And also the other bands wanted air play...

And yes, the drummer went for a ride. I caught it all on film, but I left off where he called up a member of the audience and sent her on it as well. I have to say that is the first drum solo I have ever enjoyed, brilliant!

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/motley-crue/2011/manchester-evening-news-arena-manchester-england-5bd11f94.html

Def Leppard

Def Leppard were headlining, and got a massive response. The stage was amazing, all lit up. Actually the set change from Crue was fast, they had the big wheel to take down, and it came down with very little delay.

All in all they did a great job, and my camera lost battery power at the end, so no more film or photos, sorry. The music was well delivered, and they did a great show.

Oh, yeah, We were seated, with a good view. But when Leppard came on, the guy in front of me decided to sit on the top of the back of his chair. So my view went. Now if I had done the same, everyone behind me would have had to stand...as I could lean without obstructing anyone, I did.I try my best not to film and obstruct people, or if I move I try to not get in people's way, but this was darn right ignorant. There was a woman beside him who did the same, so I can only think he thought it was ok. But she was wrong too...

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/motley-crue/2011/manchester-evening-news-arena-manchester-england-5bd11f94.html

Steel Panther

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F19vg-1piaY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV-445NOgoU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ3agmYUnBw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTOdSqyNwZU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnFKbsEUEhc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt4x3mfS4TQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5KwRZBy5O4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrP4UIg8qD4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpC3YzjHvgo

Motley Crue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtLGPxESpDU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPV2yiK1oB4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_ioNNczkBw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG0GuI_vTfA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn_sSnVoTG0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZxSVdfNYw4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoC0K0VnIrk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw9aokh9nk0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySnvUz-aNWs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcDXFfk-JrQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pncndMEGOI8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWWrl8FcHVo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hWUGgc47d4

Def Leppard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDEfXo7MIj

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnNQrekJNA4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oODJPi3Mqz8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeECJmmYT-o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDx7lfzQ16M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2LznVUXlgA

Bad!

Hawkwind, Manchester Academy, 10/12/2011

2011-12-16T05:16:00.000-08:00

Hawkwind is one of those bands we've only just got into, so as a consequence we weren't quite sure what to expect.

We didn't expect there to be naked dancing ladies (as I understand there were in the past) and we weer almost right...

Hawkwind do space rock, so we were greeted with silver gimp suits with what we assumed were ladies. They gyrated well to the music, adding a bit of atmosphere to the intricate music. The costume changes came thick and fast, a space alien/devil, strange Indian style headdresses, more gimp suits and stilts, multi-legged creatures (which is my favorite photo, the light caught the costume and gave it 'eyes', see below).

They had a backdrop with images on, some were quite strange, and there was a lot of spaceships! But overall it suited the music very well. The music itself was complex, with long songs, but it was played very well. Lyrics are hard to come by with their music, mostly it's about the playing, and they could be a little thin can difficult to hear. However, the music was engaging, and flew by.

We loved the gig, and will certainly try more of their albums.

I'm trying out a new camera by the way, which has auto-focus, so if it goes out of focus for a while, just give it a moment to reset!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLx81pXDIuA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvIpLN5Gq9M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAXf2S6vdLo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hEt_6vUZTc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Joy34t5aI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2odZYcZA68U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbMvJydJTaE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0gyKPz2CZg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO7x557wLWc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It0yEd2IxME

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEry0Vgdp34

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH8sea9ygkU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyo2C0WsCHM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKlOfKi_hkA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzEnPsgUl2A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LZLBOoBg7E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86IrzaIMuWo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxlVMD4gU-4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li-60uyYdQE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CcNW2M_Gjw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EhL8dX43gM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa7JdnCFU9Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knt8xDnung8

Get out of debt free

2011-12-07T09:12:00.001-08:00

Now let me get this straight first off, I'm not a debt counselor, I'm not qualified to give advice. But I do have experience in these matters.

If you do have so much debt that you are at risk of legal action\losing your house and so on, this post is not for you. Go to a debt charity for help, or at the very least talk to your bank to restructure your loans.

However, if you've just struggling to cope with your debt and you want a magic wand to wave and it's all gone...well this post isn't for you either. But it does have advice that got me out of debt.

Ok, about my situation. I had a wage of £25k, and a debt of £18k. How did I get to this position? Credit cards. Depression. Car loans. A lethal combination that left me with enough money to scrape together to live each month, but nothing left for the luxuries. To go to my brother's wedding? Credit card. I hadn't had a holiday since then, and that had been five years before. I was still paying off that wedding trip as well.

So I was faced with trying to make headway on this debt. I hadn't had a pay rise for 5 years either...which made the situation worse as the cost of living increased. I had got a loan out to cover the cost, this is far better than just a credit card as at the time I saved around 10% in interest costs.

So I had to do desperate things. I had to look at my accounts.

I actually produced detailed accounts at the time that listed all my outgoings and in comings, so it was easy to see where the first cuts could be made.

First out: magazine subscription. I was a little tired of the magazine anyway, so that wasn't too bad.

Next: charity donations. By this time I was donating about £15 a month. Not much, but that and the magazine led to £30 being spare in the budget. That immediately got added to my pay off the debts fund.

But it wasn't enough. Next I looked at my spending. The most obvious one was Boots, I would go there and spend £100 a month on creams and so on. So I looked at what I was buying, and started to switch to cheaper creams, soaps, stopped buying luxury bath washes, swapped my salt scrub at £8 a tub for cooking salt at 40p a bag. I got it down to under £50, then later under £20. I now spend about £10 a month, but don't feel I'm missing out.

Now £80 a month into the pay off my debts fund.

Next, food. I looked at portion sizes. I mean seriously, in this country we eat far too much food as it is. I had already cut down my spending when I lost weight, (http://writerthinker.blogspot.com/2011/09/diets-dont-work.html) but I bought sensibly, planning each meal, and only buying enough food for those meals.

I would bulk buy when offers came on, but on a strict set of rules:
1. I must have money to pay for it.
2. I must use it on a regular basis.
3. I must not buy more than I can use.

Actually, I still do all this now. In fact, I recently realized I was paying nearly £4 for a bottle of shampoo. I tried the Sainsbury's own brand apple shampoo at about 76p a bottle, and it worked so well I stopped buying the expensive brand.

Part of the problem is that we've been conditioned into thinking we need the expensive brands for everything, and anything less expensive is 'cheap crap'. We've all been fooled into thinking that these brands will make us better people, will make our lives complete. They don't. I spend money on expensive things only where I feel that the quality is important, and not where the brand is important.

So that's perhaps £180 a month now.

I was also very careful with my clothes shopping. As I had lost a lot of weight I tended to splurge on clothes, until I realized I was ending up giving away things I had never worn. So now I only buy something I really need. I go to the outlet places and shop in sales, but never at the first frenzy of sales as I think you buy things because they are cheap, not because you like them. I buy quality, and make things last, I re-dye clothing and mend things where I can.

So perhaps you're thinking, 'Well that's not me, I don't do those things!' So what do you do?

If you buy lunch every day, try making it yourself.

Don't get a coffee every day. Have it as a treat once a week. Or get an americano rather than a latte.

Don't go to the company vending machine. They make money off your snacking! If you must snack, buy a multipack of chocolate\crisps, or take a packet of biscuits in. If will power is an issue, only take as many as you need for one day.

If you smoke, have one less a day.

And if you think that's all rubbish, then do the sums.

Lunch: £5 per day. £25 a week. £100 a month. £1200 a year (assuming you work all the time!) I did that sum...so made my lunch and saved myself a lot of money.

Let's say a coffee is £2 a shot. That could be £480 a year.

Cigarettes: 30p each. Again, same calculation. Just one less a day is £100+

You just have to remind yourself that these measures are just for the debt paying off period. I was saving a good three hundred extra a month towards paying off my debt, and each time I payed off a chunk, felt satisfaction that more was gone.

I actually got lucky in that my grandma died (not so good...) and I was left a little money, and I could get some additional contract work.

I also changed jobs and went up a pay scale. Instead of thinking, 'oh good, more money to spend', I payed off more money, and kept my spending as low as before.

And once the debt was gone...instead of going back to spending, I used the money I had spare now to save like crazy. I was shocked how quickly the money built up, and now have a nice nest-egg.

However, I won't go back to my overspending ways!

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Defenders of the Faith: Rise to Remain, Ghost, and In Flames Manchester Academy, 04/12/2011

2011-12-06T05:13:00.001-08:00

An unusual gig for us, as we didn't actually want to see the headliners, Trivium.

Instead we saw...

Rise to Remain, or 'Son of Bruce'

We've been listening to these guys for a while now, and they have started to worm their way into my affections. The lead singer is the son of Bruce Dickinson, and I have to admit he has the same showmanship and a very good voice. We missed the first 10 minutes due to Manchester traffic and rain, but what we did see was very impressive, and he appeared to be working the crowd well.

Ghost
I was really looking forward to Ghost as they are a recent band we've been trying. For their appearance you would expect roaring lyrics, it's surprisingly melodic and clear. First to appear were the monks (guitar, drum players etc). They are all fully hooded, and the only view you get of them is a tiny slit in the face mask (should try black muslin, would solve that problem in a jiffy!

Then the lead singer came on stage, looking like a bishop (with sparkles) and fully made up. They never appear without the costumes apparently...the detail was brilliant, he had one of those incense things they flap around, and on his hat is a cross upside down. The music was excellent, and we enjoyed the whole act.

Oh, and the singer spoke with a French accent even though I think they are Scandinavian...

In Flames

Finally to In Flames. I have listened to them for a while, but never seen them live, so it was an excellent chance.

Despite a storming set I was really disappointed by the sound, the lead singer was barely audible at times, it seemed as though they had jacked everything up to the max, and it meant the quality of sound just wasn't there. Please! We like it loud, but we like to hear the actual music too!

Rise to Remain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLipdOxL9Jk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3lYa8UbSmU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCyI63mSkhc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIGP-OARxeA

Ghost
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaYUiG6Ib_E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uml5jYMb3xE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAEyOCvwBNE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lcWIzHxws4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2nS-7tiPMU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_iyU7OSyp0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9EVB65lMeo

In Flames
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0h1hEtvXe0c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MffrlXoA95U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXf8Tow4iqY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3CeDv6vilM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CzKGx18oWU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJyMCG_4dIw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ1cNuwubTo

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Uriah Heap, Homefirth Picturedrome, 02/12/2011

2011-12-06T05:01:00.001-08:00

Uriah Heap are one of the great bands that you've probably never hear of despite them being around since...well, as far as I'm concerned, year dot!

Their music is rock, but it really hasn't dated at all, it's still very classic, amazing music.

We were in the Homefirth Picturedrome (Homefirth is where they shot Last of the Summer Wine), which is a charming but strange venue. I don't know if they were mid-way through refurbishment or what, but the majority of the place was gorgeously decorated, they had added an extra level to complete the balcony, but yet the toilet I went to was is a horrible state, half finished (no door handle, let alone a lock!) and, well, unclean. There were more pubes on that seat...so enough of that!

Naturally when they came on stage there was a lot of excitement, and it was well rewarded. Not only was the band clearly enjoying themselves, the music was clear, well delivered, and with lots of energy. They were truly entertaining, and played a lot of crowd pleasers, even getting ladies up on stage for the second-to-last song.

The quality of the sound and levels were amazing, and overall it was a fantastic evening!

Even the tons of rain on the way home didn't bring down our high!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJd96z5VhSY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY23Vl_DEIg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao6D-AYIiQ8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSI254bU_Mw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPHaRXuBMnY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JuCFVMMhZE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQaec9ST5Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px6Ttd3FEFM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iRo04hOQSc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52bqC6bqu8A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNKwGqCc-J8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwTUyXtWv5g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hokh1Ydgvg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MkoxCk7Hds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD5R1-hMoYY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk3BfZVB4ng

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igLMhr_9vlg

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Michael Monroe and Wednesday 13 at Leeds 02, 29/11/2011

2011-12-01T05:42:00.001-08:00

I have to admit that I hadn't heard of Michael Monroe before this gig, I haven't really heard Hanoi Rocks, so was a bit in the dark.We listened to some of his stuff before the gig, and I did start to warm to it.

However, I wasn't prepared for the show.

This guy is totally insane/a great showman. Seriously. He looks like someone's granny, but rocks harder than I've seen from a lot of modern bands. He leapt up and down the stage like a maniac, twirled his mic stand, strangled himself with the mic cord...and generally gave a fantastic, entertaining show. His performance on stage was clearly meant for a larger space, he at one time knocked another mic off it's stand and how he didn't brain anyone on stage I won't know. He also kept getting completely tangled up with the mic cord and stand, but still sang (missing about three words that I could make out) and generally appeared to enjoy every moment. I know I did! He also got down into the pit in front of the stage several times. I think he's got a lifelong fan of me...

It's just a shame the place was so empty! Never have I seen the O2 so devoid of people, I think if we had all squished together we wouldn't have filled even 1/8th of the venue, so we practically had front row positions. Except my camera was confiscated a the door, so I used my rather rubbish phone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2caoAi3UbdM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whVMRtAVSQ0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reWiAuWgXeY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLngqW9VQ0g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOlJNmIJo1k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGNru2bZrX8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_kjT9i0PTI

Next up was Wednesday 13. Now I'll confess to having seen them before, and listened to the Murder Dolls album, but I'm not a fan. The gig seemed to go very well, although he didn't seem to get the crowd going as well as Mr. Munroe. The song choice went down well, although due to the lack of people it was very difficult to get a loud noise from audience participation, there simply wasn't enough people in the venue.

I don't know what it is about Wednesday 13 that I don't like, I think it may be because unlike Mr. Munroe and acts like Alice Cooper, I find the songs tend to blend into one another, and the themed songs a but childish. Ah well, the act was still very professional considering the audience size.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m63ONeGAmQU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUes6WeEnS0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWyyhZzxYwE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8ZqKkYoi0w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXLijCkJxyU

Spires: Bradford Rio's 25/11/2011

2011-11-26T02:47:00.001-08:00

We had a strange and wonderful experience last night at a gig for the band Spires, amoungst others. Bradford Rio's is one of those tiny venues that would probably take a hundred...if half the audience stood on the other half. The bands have to walk past you to get to the stage (when you walk in, you walk past the stage!) and you're often having to avoid equipment lying around, or move aside for the band!

Spires were the band we were looking for, Mark has discovered they were playing and decided to give them a listen to, and soon after bought their excellent album (and t-shirt), Spiral of Ascension. I would personally say that Spires are the bastard love child of Mastadon and Opeth...but I don't want to belittle their contribution to the Prog Metal scene, as their style is very distinctive. With melodic tunes, excellent singing and the occasional 'roar'! part, they are a very satisfying and diverting listen. Normally I'm not so keen in the roar parts of the song (I like to hear the lyrics so I can sing along!) in Spires' case the roar sections fit the music beautifully, rather than just being inserted because they are expected to be there.

All in all Spires are an intelligent, complex and exciting listen (buy! Buy! Buy now!). And we love 'em.

But first up were a few bands. Now normally we would avoid opening acts, but we arrived at 9...and we still had three bands to go. The first up was Indigo (I think) with a lot of 12 year olds on stage. Not sure how metal they were, but the lead singer had the voice of a 50-a-day 45 year old. Quite amazing. I didn't catch the second band's name (sorry!) but they were very good, and there was some fun banter. The next band was Incassum, with a very pretty lead singer (I want her body! Ok...not for anything dirty...I mean I would have loved to be that slim...ah well, too many years...too much chocolate) who was tiny, and had a quite startling voice. You can watch their video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8_uav6898

Spires

Then finally at 11:10pm, Spires. Hurrah! We moved further into the room as like a totally lazy sod I'd had a sit-down at the bar, so we wanted a better view. By this time I estimate there were perhaps three other people in the audience who weren't in a band that had played, what a shame, because we were in for a real treat.

They started with the amazing 'The Infinite Descent' which is just stunning and gorgeous. Then the lead singer, Paul Sadler, said that as there weren't too many people, they would go really proggy, and do their longest tracks. so we got to hear, live, Spiral of Ascension (my fave), then Broken Hourglass (Mark's fave).

My god were they good! Ok, so there wasn't too many people, but it didn't matter because the performance was just as good as I can imagine they would be to an audience of thousands. They were professional, sharp, and it contained as many layers as the CD, and was just as absorbing to listen to. If you want to get in on a band of the future, listen to these guys, because they deserve to be huge. We loved every minute.

Just before Broken Hourglass he thanked the audience for staying so late (some kids had left earlier, their loss!), then pointed at us, and said 'And don't think you two have gone unnoticed!'

Well, we both stared at each other, open-eyed. I know I got all hot, it was such a great thing to say! We both had a little smile, then they launched into the next song.

Once it was over I wanted to get a t-shirt, so we hung around. We spoke to the lead singer of Incassum for a while (who's lovely, it was worth chatting to her), then spoke to the manager to get a t-shirt. He went out of his way to help us despite the late hour (I'm wearing the t-shirt now, it fits perfectly, thanks!). He thanked us again, and we shook hands with the bass player, Alex Jolley, and the drummer, Chris Barnard (Paul Sadler and Cuthbert were on stage packing up) and they both thanked us again. I regret now not getting their autographs. Darn.

Then it was home, and a nice cup-of-tea!

I think it was such a shame there was a poor turn out, because honestly all the bands were great, but I have to say that Spires were just a miracle. We enjoyed every note, the only shame being that the set was shorter than we would have liked (nothing short of the full album would have been long enough!) but having said that we left satisfied and on a high.

Mark said that in 20 (cough) + years of gigging, it was the first acknowledgement from the stage he had ever had!

So if you want to see a band before they get too big to be approachable, go see this amazing band now, because I don't think they'll be in small venues for much longer.

(Yes, that is the main exit/entrance visible in the back of the picture...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwRsk3lFcUU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45HE9Mbhx4I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXk2hZwIm_8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXupp-Gw3fE

Read their blog: http://truecultheavymetal.com/blog1.php/features-2/spires-tour-blog/

Website: http://spiresband.co.uk/

Please, please support this band, as they are brilliant!

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/spires/2011/bradford-rio-bradford-england-5bd13b0c.html

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Motorhead, Manchester 02 Apollo, 18/11/2011

2011-11-25T07:53:00.001-08:00

I'm a new convert to Motorhead, I have listened to 'Ace of Spades' for years, but until my boyfriend, that was as far as I had got. So with a quick refresher of his back-catalogue, as well as the new stuff, we were off!

The band first on was the Anti-Nowhere League. Seemed ok, quite punky, and the first song we walked into involved a lot of f**king! As we sat down a 'gentleman' sat next me me, taking over my space with both his legs and his...smell. Dear god. Thankfully when the band left, so did he, not to return. But people kept coming and going the whole evening, making us stand, and blocking the view. The people behind us left before the end...wonder why...

Just before Motorhead came on, this large family came and sat beside us. Not really having noticed who had left I ignored them until the woman asked me how many had been sat next to me. unsure what she meant I replied two...turned out they were seat-jackers! They were literally going around looking for empty seats to take over! Of course the owners of he seats returned (not Mr. Smelly) and they all moved back a row (where the other people went I'm not sure??? to stand???). The adult male of the group was a pain, shouting all the time, and standing up to show his approval at the set list. I'm sure the folks behind him appreciated his enthusiasm as he blocked their view...

Also, right in front of me was Mr. I'm Wearing a Hat Because I;m Alternative. It didn't get in my way too much, or I would have asked him to take it off, but it was rude. Right at the front was a guy with several kids who were quite disruptive as they kept getting up and leaving. One was no more than 7, and he stood up leaning over the balcony a lot. I'm sure the people behind him also enjoyed that view! The little *tyke* also saw some prat throw a cup from the balcony and through this was great, and started to throw whatever he could find. His father did nothing to stop him, and laughed! So if you got a cup of water dumped on you, the kid was to blame. Terrible manners.

Motorhead stormed through a great set. There were little effects etc, and a drum solo...but overall the performance was brilliant. The crowd loved it, there was a great atmosphere which just occasionally bordered on the chaotic and nutty. At the end Lemmy told the audience that it was their last song, and they booed...he told them not to worry, if they made enough noise they'd come back for more...ah, lovely. the false encore time. Ah well, at least I knew the words to 'Ace of Spades'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxsdfoD2QBQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7j3Ol2g7EA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfXs8skMYk4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtG3TpSUCgU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-KqneOy_pc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g956X8REvIY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shH_WcpQwnA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTSa8IDK8Wo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnYJHqxuB6s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXf-gWvpHiY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw3znj4Aj2Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-ZGtAGLTmU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWRkFG3iKko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZzCRXXlz0Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OScWUePVFkc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d42Yc3DHeM

Day of the Dead 5, Leeds International Film Festival 12/11/11

2011-11-14T04:28:00.001-08:00

Busy weekend!

Ok, so the second Day of the Dead (DOTD) for me. I have to start by bitching about the lack of Return of the Dead (sob) and that there were only 4 films this year, I can only assume that the recession has screwed up a lot of things, this being one of them. Ahh well.

Overall we enjoyed the day, as usual the staff were great, and the venue, the newly refurbished Leeds City Varieties was charming and clean, a lovely setting for a day of horror.

Masks 3/5
The first film up was Masks. This is a homage to Susperia, and was very much of a 1970's vein, even down to the credits. Basically the film is about what people will do to get fame... http://shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=19040
Overall the film was pretty good. However, it lacked a certain something, and I'm not too sure what that was. There was a bit of gore, but it just wasn't creepy enough. However, it moved along well and was a good enough story to keep me entertained (no clock-watching), but I don't think I would watch it again.

I think it was in German... I do have a tendency to read the text and 'hear' it as though the actors had spoken the line in English!
http://marschall-arts.com/Website/Willkommen.html

After that were three shorts that were well worth watching.

Decapoda Shock 4/5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o49tBYTrSFE

Which was a seriously strange and funny movie. Spaceman is sent on a mission...and returns...a crab.

I won't spoil it for you, but apart from the slightly hokey crab mask (I thought it was more lobster?) it was a great tale, well told, and a lovely twist.

Although it was seriously Kill Bill meets Finding Nemo!

Dead on Time 5/5
This was hilarious, and a funny, engaging film. A couple are stranded in the desert, and try to find help...encountering more than they bargained for!

The first twist on this is at the credits. But I can't say more. Except that this was Groundhog Day meets Reservoir Dogs, and is really worth watching. Her boyfriend has a clue in the name of Lazaros... Brilliant!!!!

Would buy on DVD!

I think you can view it here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFYnS_smHi8

The Backwater Gospel 5/5
This is a gorgeous animation that reminded me of the Gorillaz band, and a lot of Stephen King's Dark Tower series.

It's a post apocalyptic scene, where the Reaper is coming to town. And when the Reaper comes, someone dies. Religion is horrific, a sign at the back of the church asks you to Fear in Lord.

Magic, and I loved the silhouette massacre at the end, pure classy, wonderful imaginative work.

And the coffin credits at the end...fab!

Would buy on DVD!

You can watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVkDrIacHJM

Marianne 3/5
Marianne was the second feature. Again, this was another good movie, but it lacked something to bring it out of the ordinary.

This is a Swedish movie, and very gorgeously shot, with a solid plot and good performances. But what I felt it lacked was scares...not gore, but good old fashioned jump out of your seats moment, like The Grudge. It needed more threat than it had, I didn't feel the guy was in danger. They needed to bring the creature out of the bedroom, and into other places, to increase the feeling of peril. We also got the 'twist' really early on.

Fatal Attraction meets The Grudge for this one.

But having said that, it is an excellent watch, and I can recommend it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL9P_elnlp8

Exit Humanity 3.5/5
This is a zombie movie with a difference, it's set just after the American Civil War.
This was very good, we enjoyed the different setting, although I didn't enjoy the general who pops up part way through the film, it felt a bit trite, to be honest, and I think it could have been better with a more original central piece.

I'm trying to ignore the 'is that leather jacket really authentic?' thoughts I had throughout the movie, and the very modern looking boots he was wearing, because I suspect they didn't have a large budget. I suspect this as expensive effects and events were rendered very well in animation, I can see that with a larger budget the director would have created a feast of visuals, but instead had to compromise with good animations that fitted in really well, and didn't spoil the fell of the movie, the action, or the 'spell' a good movie creates.

This was the only English movie of the lot. Oh, and we gave it a 3 and a 4 so we could give it an overall score of 3.5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2mW29jT2C8

Next was a short that I really enjoyed,

Employee of the Month 5/5
In these times of strife it's nice to know that the supernatural comminuity is also suffering from unemployment... this is very, very funny, well thought out, and with brilliant little touches. My favorite was the zombie, but seriously, any would do.

Would buy on DVD!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnkEMzlY29w

Juan of the Dead 3.5/5
The last movie was Juan of the Dead. This was the movie I was most looking forward to, and unfortunately it didn't quite come up to scratch. Although it was funny, and again another movie that was very watchable, I just don't think there was the characterization there to really drive the movie forward.

I think some of the jokes also didn't work as well because of the cultural differences. However, the effects were good, the idea was very sound, and it was a very watchable and enjoyable movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaUIvY3BVQc

So overall a good time was had by us...but the shorts shone out from the four not quite so magnificent movies, but still all worth a try. They are better than the usual tripe you get in the big cinemas!

Now available at Amazon:

*Hangman: An unflinching look at what happens when suicide invades people's lives, and the damage it does.
*Loser's Club: A novel about cats, murder, love and not love, envy, hate, and above all, losers.
*Tube Life: Join Angel as she tries to navigate life, love and the London Underground.
*Writer: Explore the dark recesses of a writer's mind, where horror is never far from reality.

GeorgeEBirch.com
dragoncity publishing

Opeth, Manchester Academy, 11/11/2011

2011-11-14T03:08:00.001-08:00

I love Opeth, although I have to admit I'm a really recent convert to their music, mostly because of the latest album, 'Heritage'. I love their complex, intricate music that is also quite simple in many ways.

So I was really excited to get to see them last Friday.

The music was amazing, crystal clear, and Mikael Åkerfeldt has the most amazing voice that made every song soar. The lights show with the band was just amazing, nothing fancy, but is was so well thought out that it made every song just that little more exciting. Especially 'The Devil's Orchard', when he sang 'God is Dead' he was illuminated alone on the stage, stunning. The backdrop was the Heritage album cover, giving an eerie effect as giant faces peered down at the band.

In between songs Mikael Åkerfeldt was brilliant, very funny! He talked about Kiss (The band, which means piss in Swedish apparently!) a lot, which got a lot of laughs, and told little stories and jokes. Brilliant entertainer, and made the gig a lot of fun between the serious business of music. His English is excellent, as well.

There was a drum solo, not my favorite part of any gig, but the skill of the drummer was breathtaking.

However, what really bugged me about this gig was that during the quieter songs, people near the back were talking. A lot. Or being rowdy as they had had waaaayyyy too much to drink. I mean come on people. You wanna drink and talk? Save £18 each and go to a bar. You're bored by this song? Go to the bar. You don't like Opeth? Sod off and leave the people who want to enjoy the music to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuPTXaX45h4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qxod8XjPbTs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4479qnL0Ns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJsvffP5Wbw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U4Q3VKB4Ro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARanNbddZ7s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7LlVNZG6hc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zRxAecrJiA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMeFXOf7IEQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaXnsTgKddg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6N_yL1yfJE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzABuGbEeAw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWaiHX-a1Ko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlnF0Zyi_ww

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apciWDZeYiY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSGJfA8v6zY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=991NowGOZGU

http://www.setlist.fm/setlist/opeth/2011/manchester-academy-manchester-england-5bd187f8.html