Writer with an Orange Roof & ...Keladi Leaf

When the Dragon year forecast is not good for you....

2012-01-28T02:07:00.002+08:00

January 2012 and suddenly I began having a sinking feeling.

The amount in my bank account was sinking.

The feng shui men were selling predictions for the year of the dragon, and according to them, my luck was sinking.

A friend calls with an urgent need to borrow some money.

My brain started clogging up with worries.

I was not in my best spirits as the year of the dragon started.

On that night when welcoming the Wealth God, my fengshui consultant aunt had us all face South, which was where the Wealth God was coming from this year.

After lighting the joss sticks and saying our wishes facing South, she gave me two twenty cent coins and asked me to throw them on the ground.

This is the traditional practice of throwing a pair of indicators to the ground after you've made your wish or request. If both sides of the indicator face up or down, then the answer is "no." But if one indicator faces up and the other down, then, the wish or request has come or will be granted.

I threw the pair of twenty cent coins to the ground. Both coins landed with the number 20 side up. I was asked to throw them again. And once more, both sides with the number 20 faced up. My aunt said, if I got the same results for the 3rd time, then that would be a very strong "yes" and that means the God of Happiness would come to me. So with hope (and a little bit of stress) I threw the coins for the 3rd time. This time both coins had different faces showing. That meant my request was not granted.

So Aunt asked me to do the entire ritual again, beginning with lighting the 9 joss sticks, saying my wishes facing South, then throwing the 2 coins to get an answer. Again, I threw the coins 3 times, because the results came back exactly the same. So, with disappointment, Aunt asked me to go walk outside the house and get bathed by the moonlight.

Ohhh.... how embarassing to find out my wish was not going to be granted. To tell the truth, while I was undergoing the entire ritual, my head felt a little heavy from all the sinking feeling like a whirlpool was going inside me.

Once I walked out of the house, my head felt a little clearer and I didn't go back to the ritual again. I thought to myself, it doesn't matter, cos I have to believe that my fate is not determined by that Wealth God who was coming tonight.

Maybe I made too many wishes. That's right. I must be too greedy. I prayed for my finances, for all the projects I wanted to do, I prayed for love, I prayed for safety, health, prosperity, happiness for me, my friends and my family. That's too much and too general to be granted. That was it. Why must I be so greedy? Why couldn't I simply ask for 1 thing? I felt that that was my problem all my life. I was always worried because I wanted all of these things.

So I just stayed out in the moonlight watching the celebrations and prayers going along, taking photographs of fireworks.

The next morning, on the 1st day of the year of the dragon, our family members visited the temples as usual. I prayed again to my gods and goddesses for love, for safety, health, prosperity and happiness. I also submitted my request to the temple monks to pray away the "Grand Duke of Jupiter," the big energy that affects personal and directional fengshui every year. Since my animal zodiac sign was in conflict with the Duke's energies this year, I had to pray to hold it back to lessen the negative effects.

As I am writing now, it had been 5 days since. A friend was encouraging me yesterday to prepare my proposal for likely funding, and was going to help me with the contacts. Today, another friend suddenly calls me after a long absence, telling me that he wanted me to work with another mutual acquaintance who had ready funding.

So, I told myself that I had to psyche up my mind so as not to sink into death. Abraham Hicks has always helped me. So, once again I searched the videos on youtube and clicked "play." Once again, I wanted to go through the kind of life I wanted rather than feel heavy with the life I did not want.

Profiling -- Reading Between The Lines

2012-01-10T01:04:00.001+08:00

Some of my friends are fans of criminal investigation stories on TV. If there are no gory visuals, I would be interested too. After all, a Libran (like me) is always the intellectual type. I actually like watching The Mentalist & Criminal Minds, except that I've given up memorizing TV schedules since high school ( the days of Dynasty & Dallas).

I've just started watching 2 episodes of a Korean series on spies and the national security organization, and the storyline touched on "profiling." That is a term used by investigators, especially those in forensics and the armed forces, to assess the behaviour, social and psychological motives of an individual.

The next morning, I read a piece of breaking news affecting Malaysia's political and legal affairs: the acquittal of Opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim from sodomy charges. What is SODOMY? One definition is "Sexual intercourse involving anal or oral copulation, especially between male persons."

Countless consensual adults in Malaysia do this in private every day, but we don't hear of anybody being charged in court with it -- EXCEPT the OPPOSITION LEADER, the one who is most vocal about reforming and taking over the government!

How does this news connect to the profiling I am talking about?

The profiling I am most interested in is not about Anwar Ibrahim, but about 1 person or a group of persons who had something to comment about it. I'll refer to it again at the end of this blog, AFTER we've gone through excerpts of the case.

From "The Guardian":

This trial was the second time in 14 years that Anwar has faced the courts. Anwar served as both deputy prime minister and finance minister in the incumbent Umno party before falling out with his then premier, Mahathir Mohamad, in 1998.

He was then jailed for six years on sodomy and corruption charges in what was widely seen as a politically motivated prosecution. The sodomy charged was overturned in 2004.

From "The New York Times":

Mr. Anwar then led the opposition to major gains in the 2008 elections, depriving the governing party of a two-thirds majority in Parliament for the first time since independence in 1957; a few months later he was charged again, this time with sodomizing a former political aide. Mr. Anwar has described the allegation as a “blatant and vicious lie.”

From "The New York Times"

“Anwar was acquitted on a charge that should have never been brought in the first place,” said Phil Robertson of Human Rights Watch after the trial. “Hopefully this verdict sends a message to the government to put this matter to rest.”

From the Malaysian Bar

The charge against Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim, which is based on an archaic provision of the Penal Code that criminalises consensual sexual relations between adults, should never have been brought. The case has unnecessarily taken up judicial time and public funds.

The Malaysian Bar hopes that the Attorney General would not pursue any appeal, and will instead focus the valuable resources of the Attorney General’s Chambers on more serious crimes.

Lim Chee Wee

President

Malaysian Bar

Now, here is the mind-boggling sentence challenging this arm-chair criminal profiling enthusiast:

From "The New York Times":

The information minister, Rais Yatim, issued a statement saying, “Malaysia has an independent judiciary, and this verdict proves that the government does not hold sway over judges’ decisions.”

My Profiling brain started working as soon as I read it. This is what my profiling brain was thinking; if the judiciary was so fair and independent of any manipulation, why does the information minister, clearly a spokesperson of the government, need to confirm it?

French Police Found "Crucial" Scorpene Documents

2011-07-21T15:42:00.000+08:00

Bad news for Najib: French police have found "crucial" Scorpene documents

Written by Wong Choon Mei, Malaysia Chronicle

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French police have obtained "quite crucial documents" in the Scorpene submarines probe on whether French arms giant DCN had paid kickbacks to Malaysian officials, including Prime Minister Najib Razak, to secure the deal.

The 58-year old Najib had been the Defense minister sanctioning the acquisition in 2002. Even then, there had been much public unhappiness over the price which was seen as too expensive, and furthernore, the high-tech submarines considered as unsuitable for patrolling the country's shallow coastline. Right now, both ships are docked in Sabah and hardly used. There have also been reports of system malfunctions due to the unsuitability of the territorial waters.

"It is likely that in September we should have access to the first police conclusions from all the investigations that have taken place over the last 18 months. We know that the police seem to have obtained quite crucial documents," Asia Sentinel reported Paris-based lawyer William Bourdon assaying.

VIP personality

William is one of the French lawyers appointed by Malaysian NGO Suaram, which lodged a complaint on behalf of taxpayers against DCN for corruptly sealing the contract. It is illegal in France to offer bribes to secure a deal and if found guilty, DCN may have to pay compensation to Malaysian taxpayers for overcharging on the final price paid by the Malaysian government.

The French lawyer is due to arrive on Thursday, where he will speak to a Penang audience and brief them on the latest developments in the case. Suaram has already hinted that William will touch on the identities of several 'new' personalities involved in the kickbacks.

It is also believed that French investigators have managed to pin down a very important personality, who travelled with submarines negotiator Razak Baginda and murdered Mongolian translator, Altantuya Shaariibuu, to Macau as part of the complex negotiations.

There is red-hot speculation that this person is Najib himself. If true, it will blow away the PM's previous denials he never knew Altantuya, who is believed to have been his lover before he "passed" her onto Razak, who was his confidante and representative. Such evidence paves the way for the re-opening of her murder trial, which had ended with two of Najib's former bodyguards being sentenced to hang for her 2006 killing. However, the 'mastermind' is believed to be still at large.

Lesser personalities involved in the sprawling deal have also been traced and their identities likely to be revealed as well.

William is also expected to drop a new bombshell - previously unknown commissions that have just been uncovered by the investigators. This will add to the growing list of murky details shrouding the shady acquisition engineereed and pushed for by Najib years ago, when he was the Defense minister directly in charge of key military procurements.

No more secret places left for Najib

It looks like unless the French government is willing to help him out and muzzle the case, Najib may have run out of hiding places. Whatever time that he can buy will not last long either.

And to pundits familar with all the ramifications both at the Malaysian and French ends, it is impossible for him to escape scot-free. One way or another, they say he will have to explain to his people the true extent of his involvement, not just in the kickbacks but also in the Altantuya murder.

In fact, not even his UMNO party can save him. With the Scorpenes trial expected to be heard in the French open court in August or September, many of the party warlords are already gearing up to push him out and slam the door on his administration, which has been scarred by non-achievement, gutter politics and extensive corruption.

It does not help that in recent months, Najib has felt the pressure and added to his own discomfort by making several disastrous decisions. The most recent was ordering a violent crackdown on a citizens rally for free and fair elections two weeks ago. His fast-fading popularity and plunging credibility makes him an easy target now.

Rightfully, the BN government should have immediately lodged a compliant with the French authorities when news reports about the huge Scorpene kickbacks first came to light. However due to Najib's influence, no one in the Malaysian government has dared to call for a public probe so far.

Even a suspicious 114 million euros (RM570 million) side-deal granted to Baginda's firm, Perimekar, has been whitewashed in Parliament as a "services" and "maintenance" contract, when it is obvious that the obscure firm has no experience or track-record in such a high-tech industry.

Numerous reports have also been lodged by Malaysian citizens, who are alarmed that the RM7 billion price tag is still climbing. It is now apparent Najib may have hidden the full cost to Parliament, opting to gradually seek additional budget allocations to maintain the ships rather than to reveal at one-go the full 'damage' to taxpayers. Yet till now, Malaysian police as well as the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission have refused to initiate any investigation into the file at all.

Seamy details in a sordid deal

Numerous questions are likely to be asked by those attending the Suaram-organised sessions with William on 21, 22 and 23rd Jruly. Apart from the status of the case, the latest 'dirt' dug out so far, the greatest interest will surely centre around the beautiful but tragic Altantuya, who acted as translator for Baginda.

Uppermost on Malaysian minds are exactly what sort of relationship Najib had with her. Not that they are voyeurs and wish to nose out all the seamy details of the love affair the two allegedly had, but because they want to know how much and to what extent their PM - who was then the DPM - was willing to lie and may have lied just to become prime minister.

"If you want to know all these details, you have to come for the dinner, listen and ask," Suaram director Cynthia Gabriel told Malaysia Chronicle.

- Malaysia Chronicle

Bersih - My Final Thoughts

2011-07-14T18:50:00.004+08:00

Bersih – my final thoughts

Art Harun

“Wise men profits more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.” – Cato the Elder (234 BC – 149 BC) from Plutarch, Lives.

In my opinion, the biggest mistake that the government had made in the Bersih issue was to isolate a large section of the society from itself, anger them and convert them into a Bersih sympathiser and/or supporter.

At some point of time before the Bersih rally – in my opinion it was about the time Pak Samad Said was hauled to the police station – the Bersih movement had transcended its electoral reform objective into a full scale platform for the people to vent their frustrations, disappointments, angst and anger to the government.

To put it crassly, from that point of time, Bersih became a platform for many people to show their middle finger to the government, for whatever personal reason(s) they may have.

All the government had to do in the early days of Bersih 2.0 was to deal with Bersih and its demands. The demands were not about the escalating inflation and price of household items; not about Teoh Beng Hock or Sarbaini; not about corruption; not about electricity rate hike; not about Astro price hike; not about the police, MACC or whichever agency.

The demands were just about a fair and just election or what was perceived by Bersih as such. That was it. It was politically related but not politically motivated. (For the uninitiated, there is a difference between the two). The fact that some opposition political parties were in solidarity with Bersih did not demote Bersih into a political party with the inevitable and attendant political baggage.

The premise of Bersih was an idea, a thought. The idea was our election process is not fair. The resulting conclusion from that idea was that our electoral process needs reform or at least a change. That was all.

Being an idea, or a thought, Bersih operates and infects the masses insidiously. It is in their head that the idea is planted. It is not in their behaviour. A Bersih sympathiser or supporter, with the said planted idea, would not act in a way an Al-Qaeda member would. He or she was not going to strap C4 around his or her body, go to the mall on a Sunday, and buy the proverbial ticket to heaven by blowing himself or herself up.

Planted with that idea, a Bersih sympathiser or supporter would try to convince others that that idea was correct. That idea will infest and continue to infest.

The wearing of yellow t-shirts with the word Bersih was just a way or means employed by carrier of such idea to make known that he or she subscribed to that idea to the open world.

The yellow t-shirts were not even a manifestation of the idea which he or she carried. With or without the yellow t-shirts, the idea still infests their mind. Similarly, the colour of the t-shirts, did not matter. It could have been pink for all they cared but the idea stayed the same.

The idea, as I said earlier, was that the election process is not fair and it needs reform.

And so, this was what, allegorically, the government was facing about a month before the rally. There were some yellow mosquitoes flying around in some wet markets; shopping malls; seminar rooms and on the streets. That was it. Nothing more.

It was like the proverbial bloody fly in the car cockpit. Irritating, yes. Annoying, yes. Threatening, absolutely not.

And how exactly did the government react to these handful yellow mosquitoes? Well, it took out some really large and heavy cannons and shot the mosquitoes!

The government firstly denied that our election process was not fair. That was okay. Because by doing that, the government was actually trying to supplant an opposing idea. But what it did later was beyond rationale. Any strategist, political or otherwise, worth his or her salt, would cringe in disbelief.

It went out seizing the yellow t-shirts. People who wore the offending attire were arrested. How did arresting people wearing yellow and seizing the yellow item assist in erasing the idea which Bersih had planted? The idea was in the head. That idea did not reside in the yellow t-shirts. That was the government reacting according to the proverbial “marahkan nyamuk kelambu dibakar” (loosely translated, angry with the mosquitoes, burn the mosquito net) way.

First, the public reaction was one of disbelief. Soon it became a joke. The government, the police, the Home Minister and all else who were perceived to be the instigators of the act of banning the colour yellow became a big joke.

The joke then became even a bigger joke. That was when the government and its machinery, direct and indirect, embarked into phase two of their “war propaganda”.

I have stated in The Doctor is Not In that an oppressor would cling to every “fact”, even manufactured ones, to justify its oppression. I quoted Umberto Eco, in "Turning Back The Clock" who said:

"In general, in order to maintain popular support for their decisions, dictatorships point the finger at a country, group, race, or secret society that is plotting against the people under the dictator. All forms of populism, even contemporary ones, try to obtain consensus by talking of a threat from abroad, or from internal groups." (emphasis is mine).

How true is that? Umberto Eco could have been talking about Malaysia actually. Did he have a digital crystal ball or what?

Barely recovering from shaking our collective head over the arrest of people wearing yellow, the government went into ape mode. Bersih was infiltrated by communists. It was also funded by Christian groups. Some Ministers and the police then said there were evidence that Bersih had certain “foreign elements” bent on creating havoc and overthrowing the government.

All classic wartime propaganda. But really, who was at war? Nobody except for the government.

Sticking with the “war” theme, the government’s well known, but the most laughable and idiotic shit stirrer, Perkasa and its leader, Ibrahim Ali, launched a counter movement and called themselves Gerak Aman (Peace Movement, in English), with Ibrahim Ali as its “war general.”

So, we had a peace movement with a war general. And a war general without any war to go to. He then promptly issued a really peaceful statement, ie, the Chinese had better stocked up food and not come out to the street on July 9th.

This was followed by some silat organisations declaring that it will “wage war” against Bersih participants. The next day this organisation appointed itself as the “3rd line of defence” of Malaysia, an appointment which was duly accorded official approval by none other than the Prime Minister himself later.

At this point in time, the government’s handling of the Bersih issue had moved from disbelief-dom, to jokes-ville and now to a surreal and burlesque town. The government had then managed to anger the Bersih sympathisers and supporters; isolated the Christians and Chinese; and turned itself into some kind of a mixture of Robin Williams and Russell Brand (no insult meant to Katy Perry, of course).

Ambiga, the Chairperson of Bersih was instantaneously declared as an enemy of Islam. Quite how Bersih’s electoral reform agenda became intertwined with race and faith is quite beyond many to conjure. But enemy of Islam she was. That managed to isolate the non-Muslims and even the thinking Muslims from the government’s stance.

So, after that, the pesky yellow mosquitoes problem had turned into a full scale stampede of biblical proportion, joined in by the elephants, lions, tigers, snakes and what have you. Congratulations.

The climax of all of these – the mother of all fcuk ups – to me, was the mounting of roadblocks during the morning peak hours from Wednesday the 6th of July onwards. The object of this “war counter propaganda” tactic was obviously to make the people believe that they had to go through difficulties – ie the traffic jam – because of Bersih. Shallow does not even begin to describe this action.

By this time, even the normal apathetic middle-class Malaysians who could not even be bothered to register themselves as voters became agitated and upset.

This apathetic middle-class are a very comfortable lot. They will not move their ass to do anything if that would mean bringing themselves out of their comfort zone. Finding the TV remote control is bringing themselves out of their comfort zone, to these people. They will not be arsed to do anything until and unless they become uncomfortable.

And of course, being stuck in a traffic jam in their second-hand BMWs, Benz, Alphard and whatever was uncomfortable to them. And they told themselves, enough with this crap. I am going to show my middle finger to the police!

By this time, almost the whole section of the urban society was isolated by the government. Even the civil servants who were late for work were thinking of joining the rally.

Speaking of the police, apart from being busy carrying guns and waving the traffic to pass by, they managed to find parangs and molotov cocktails at Sogo. There you have it. Bersih was bent on creating havoc.

Why parangs? Why not guns and bombs? And to think about it, the molotov cocktails were made in plastic bottles. Who in their right mind would make molotov in plastic bottles, hullo? From which university did the guy graduate? Off campus? Online course?

Disbelief. Joke. Burlesque. Ridicule. Anger.

What a transformation.

The easiest thing to do was to fight the idea that our election process needs reform. That was all that was needed. An idea is fought by firstly, showing that that idea is not quite correct. Or that it was not credible. Then neutralise that idea with a better and more acceptable idea.

An idea is not fought by arresting the people having that idea. Or by banning a colour depicting subscription to that idea. Or by declaring the person heading the movement perpetuating that idea as anti-Islam. Or that it was Christian idea. Oh my God. Fail!

Now, let’s not talk about what happened during the rally. Suffice if I say that the people joining the rally were not the hooligans they were made out to be. We all could watch all the YouTube videos and decide for ourselves as to who the real hooligans were.

The thing which I want to comment about is this.

If the government’s handling of Bersih before the rally was beyond belief in its irrationality and unreasonableness, its handling AFTER the rally is not any better, if not far worse.

The IGP became a laughing stock when he quickly announced that only 6000 people attended the rally. Then the Home Minister chipped in to say the police was fair and in fact very restrain in their approach on the 9th of July. The Prime Minister said the police were a picture of tranquillity and displayed a monk-like attitude towards the rally goers.

Ha ha and bloody ha.

Then came the I-could-do-better-than-you rhetoric. This is the preferred 8 year old strategy. My father has bigger kahoona than your father, you know? I could bring out 3 million people if I want to, sais the Honourable Prime Minister. This was recently followed up by Chua Soi Lek who said he could bring 50000 Chinese to the street. MIC however had remained mum. That’s either because it is a clever party or because it doesn’t know how many member it could bring to the street.

The Minister Liow denied teargas was fired into the compound of Tung Shin hospital. Chua Soi Lek, not be left out, chipped in to say the police had to teargas the hospital in order to protect the patients. And today, 11 doctors from that hospitals states their willingness to affirm affidavits under oath that the police did in fact shoot water and teargas into the compound of the hospital on July 9th. They said the police even entered into the buildings to search for rally goers. (the full report is here).

In relation to the incident at Tung Shin, faced with irrefutable audio-visual as well as oral evidence, the least the government could do is to admit that it happened. Then it should apologise. Even YB Khairy Jamaluddin this morning had the clarity of mind to say that on twitter.

The Prime Minister had left for the UK. The mainstream media went ape-like in blaming Anwar and mocking his injury. This obsession with Anwar Ibrahim is actually quite irritating. let me tell you all something. Most rally goers did not give a hoot about Anwar that day. That day was not about Anwar. It was about their middle finger which they had wanted to point to some others.

The international press – which of course, in the government’s book, are always bias and out to pursue their secret agenda against our country – have not been kind to the government. Even the Jakarta Post editorial (Malaysia is rich but not free) was not flattering. Yesterday, Bloomberg’s William Pesek was scathing in his opinion. Pesek is an influential writer and Bloomberg is a reference point for many foreign investors. (his article is here). The UN thinks the government had gone way over the top. The US is concerned.

So, what’s the plan here? What is the plan to bring back credibility to our reform plan? Where is the plan to persuade the foreign fund managers and investors that Malaysia is indeed a moderate multi-cultural society with immaculate tolerance for dissent?

Someone died during the rally. Have we heard a word of sympathy or condolence from the government’s side? I have not. All we had was the usual defensive “don’t blame me” statements.

Are we human? Or have we stopped being human?

Since when?

100,000 People Request Najib Tun Razak Resignation

2011-07-11T09:41:00.006+08:00

That's the title of the Facebook page someone created at 4:50pm on 9th July in response to the end of the Bersih street walk in Kuala Lumpur.

I do not expect any of it to be taken seriously by Najib -- as usual. He sits there cushy in his ivory tower, smirkly competing with the citizens over who was more eligible to live in this land! This goes for all the present ministers reporting to him.

I went to sleep at about 2 am, the early hours of 11th July, amazed that Facebook page, garnering support by its title, was being LIKE-d by about 97,000 people already! I had just woken up 6 hours later at 8:30am, and somehow, some time during the night, the number of people in support of this move had crossed the 100,000 mark to 103,730 and it is still growing by the second!

They will not take it seriously, because, come on, this petition is on Facebook, first of all. And to them, this must be another one of the Opposition's tricks. And who cares about petitions, right? Who are you to ask me to step down?

That is the problem with this bunch of parliament seat-fillers. They don't take the online social network seriously while the Opposition Parties had no choice but to make use of the online access to spread their messages. Still stuck in the 80's, these ministers still think that the citizens can be manipulated by telling half-truths and twisting facts in the mainstream media they control.

They do not even want to acknowledge the fact that maybe 50,000 had walked the streets just to be seen and heard. Oh no, the police said it was only 6,000 who turned up. We laughed at his lies, which make him more stupid as pictures and videos spread across the world over the intenet immediately.

They do not want to acknowledge that more than 100,000 people have shown support for the 100,000 People Request Najib Tun Razak Resignation. Come on, just a bunch of half-baked teenagers, probably.

We will see.

Nobody will give up their seat of extreme power easily. It shows that the PM is there for his own interest.

His decisions and instructions to shoot at the citizens joining the Bersih rally.

He trying desperately to tell some stupid 50,000 silat martial arts members that they were the 3rd line of defense after the Army and the Police -- really -- and asking them to fight against those who demonstrated against the government.

He doesn't even care for the citizens. He had people create the 1Malaysia concept which was supposed to be created to unite everyone with the slogan "Rakyat Didahulukan, Pencapaian Diutamakan" or translated to English means, "Priority Is For The Citizens, Achievement The Main Focus."

Anger over his showing heartlessness and political self-interest makes me wanna just say "boolshitt!"

His public relations consultants -- maybe not to be blamed for their client's stupidity, because after all, in Malaysia, people usually ask "How High?" when their bosses or clients tell them to "Jump!" -- can't reverse this damage in his local and international image, that is, if he even has any consultants or reputation for that matter.

Not that he had much image or likable personality to begin with. Being the son of Malaysia's 2nd Prime Minister, Tun Razak, has not helped.

He was merely remembered as someone who had to quit lounging around at an English university when his father died because all the stupid citizens in his father's constituency treated the late Tun Razak like a king and so in their feudal thinking, his son must inherit the father's legacy. In short, he too had to come back instead of losing the power and riches easily obtained and enjoyed by being the Prime Minister's son.

Najib has been constantly linked to the ugly blow-up of Altantuyaa in 2006 -- the Mongolian woman translator reportedly who had helped his "runner" Razak Baginda in a submarine purchase deal with France, in which he pocketed 114 million Euros in commissions transfered into his own company account -- she was allegedly denied the USD$500,000 commission in which she was promised, and then was kidnapped and tied and blown up with C4 explosives, the type of highly-unobtainable explosive only found in the Army.

The quick cover-up of a gruesome and sensational case, allowing Razak Baginda to escape quietly to England, leaving 2 stupid policemen to be accused of murder instead at the high court, left many Malaysians to suspect that they were under higher instructions and protection even more.

To many Malaysians, they believe that Najib and his equally less popular wife, Rosmah, had something to do with the ordering of her killing, and the fantastic movie-like plots associated with this entire fiasco and its cover-up attempts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Shaariibuugiin_Altantuyaa

http://wikisabah.blogspot.com/2011/04/scorpenes-altantuya-to-make-waves-in.html

Well, his PR department couldn't reverse this association. Then they came up with the 1 Malaysia concept. But all efforts, whenever is detected a trace of insincerity, only leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

I Know What You Did On 9th July 2011 in Kuala Lumpur

2011-07-10T18:39:00.015+08:00

On the 8th of July, the Inspector General of Police (IGP) issued a namelist of 91 people banned from entering KL in the run-up to the 9th of July Bersih 2.0 rally, proclaimed as "illegal" by the Prime Minister. The roads leading to the capital city were also blocked by the police that night.

The 91 are made up of committee members of Bersih,
- politicians from the Opposition parties -- who support Bersih;
- leaders of Umno Youth who have been vocal against Bersih, but still support its ideology;
- leaders of Perkasa, the very racist group which is considered a puppet and scapegoat of the present government, who is also anti-Bersih.

Khairy (in a funny poster above done after the police announcement) tweeted: Just landed back in KL after trying to break Israeli blockade of Gaza only to find that I've been blockaded from KL. Excuse me if I say WTF?

And later that night, another news on twitter : Umno Youth chief Khairy to defy police ban, may march towards Stadium Merdeka tomorrow.

Khairy is not favourable of Bersih's methods and says that Bersih is using confrontation and antagonism while seeking Free & Fair Elections in Malaysia. Then, why did he join the street rally if he was not supportive of Bersih's methods IN SUPPORT of Bersih? (He was, I'm happy to say, arrested. That's how you make a statement!) Anyway, I kinda like Khairy in the politically perverted way. At least, he is way more intelligent and courageous than all of the present Ministers of Malaysia combined.

For those unsure of what Bersih 2.0 is, check this out: www.bersih.org.

In keeping with our King's advise, the Bersih committee agreed to hold the rally in a stadium instead of on the streets. This, at first, was agreed to by the Prime Minister Najib Razak, since our Agong (our King's official title is Duli Yang Maha Mulia Seri Paduka Baginda Yang Dipertuan Agong) has voiced out.

But the PM, demonstrating his normal cowardly behaviour, in defiance of the King, thinking that he himself has all executive power in the country, pulled back the offer and declared Bersih an illegal organization, therefore, having no right to secure a police permit to hold the rally in a stadium. Then the Inspector General of Police (IGP) suggests why not hold it in Shah Alam Stadium where the Opposition parties rule? What double standards -- they are not consistent with their reasons and poor excuses.

Well, anyway, tens of thousands of people slipped into KL and joined Bersih's peaceful street protest, pissed off by coward Najib's dingdong. The main aim of the rally was to march to the the Istana Negara (the King's palace) to present the King with a memo from Bersih. I heard they did not manage to do that since the police started arresting people especially the committee members of Bersih.

But what did the police do, under instructions of the IGP, and of course, under the instructions of the PM, who smugly and conveniently tells the entire country that "everything is up to the police now." The police showed their brutality, cruelty, heartlessness and abuse of power in representation of this present Malaysian Prime Minister, who is not popular with the public.

Teargas were fired directly at protesters, even though the street walk was peaceful. Police arrested an estimated 1500 people, kicked and injured many people. One person died after having his hands tied by the police. The police wouldn't untie him when he started having breathing difficulties, and stood watching while other bystanders tried to help him.

If this demonstration happened in a country where Barrack Obama was president, do you think he would have ordered the police to shoot at his own citizens? I asked myself this question as I am an admirer of Obama's leadership and principles. My heart answered a loud "NO."

The goverment of any country is like the head of the family -- the father and the mother. If your child has something to say, even if it is against you, what would a loving and wise parent do? Slap the child? Kick him? Send him to bed? Curfew him? Kill him?

Think about it and answer this yourself.

So many are against street demonstration and think that all the people attending the Bersih event are uneducated rascals, antagonistic, unappreciative of the government, ungrateful of what we have, and are out to cause havoc with the economy. Why can't we have a peaceful dialogue?

You see, in Malaysia, people are averagely docile. We do not encourage street protests. Our government does not tolerate criticism well. The Opposition are not given airtime on mainstream TV and newspapers. I know, because I work with people in the Media, and I know what bosses tell us NOT TO DO.

If you do speak against the government and act in any way that shows that you want to get rid of this government, you are threatened with arrest, especially the ISA (Internal Security Act) -- a law considered archaic and barbaric, legacy of the 50's & 60's communist insurgency -- to arrest and silence you with DETENTION WITHOUT TRIAL. You could stay in oblivion or die without anyone remembering... forever.

Pretty much a parent which cannot tolerate their child's criticism, expecting the child to obey without question, to SHUT UP.

I am quite convinced that the leaders of Bersih, led by the courageous and intelligent LADY -- Ambiga, former Bar Council president -- and joined by 62 different organizations including Opposition political parties and well-known social activists like Marina Mahathir, daughter of former PM Tun Mahathir, have tried their best to speak and bring about change. But what do you know?

In return, their efforts have been "poo-pooed," laughed at and mocked by the ruling government. In short, it has fallen on deaf ears.

Even National Poet Laureate A. Samad Said was taken in for questioning by the police about his Bersih leanings. His speech during the Bersih rally was about making the government notice that "there are so many of us here today....asking you to listen to the people."

To our government: You have not understood Human Nature and the Law of This Universe nor the Law of the Human Spirit. If you are not afraid of being fair, why do you suppress the people from speaking and voicing out when all they asked for was fairness?

I am not any politician. I am an observer of human life. I have come here to be human and experience what it is like to be human. What are the rules of being human?

This is what I found. A human is born with a Soul inside it. This Soul seeks happiness and fulfillment. It cannot be repressed for long. For from repression comes rebellion. Because the Soul is only seeking what it has been born to do -- to seek itself in all its glory.

Even if the Soul's method is deemed wrong by the majority, the Soul will find ALL WAYS to achieve its FINAL MISSION -- HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT. For some of us Souls, we may never achieve this FINAL MISSION before we die in human form. But I believe Souls are re-born into another human form to attempt to achieve its FINAL MISSION...again.

For this philosophy is very well mastered in the Chinese culture (you can debate with me if you think I am wrong). It is a culture I am born into, where families and friends wish you "prosperity and abundance." This is the RIGHT and the PURPOSE of the SOUL. As a people, the Chinese are always known to be a group that focuses on economic fulfillment wherever they are on this earth. We have no qualms in wanting to be wealthy.

Deep in the heart of all humans, this wealth is what we strive to have -- both rich, poor and those "surviving." Some may attempt or pretend to say they have no need for wealth, but do we have any pleasantry to say about poverty? When you are poor, you will know what I'm talking about. Because I have been poor. I know how it is like to be looked down when you are poor, to be depressed, to feel insecure and lowly about myself.

For prosperity and abundance does not just refer to material wealth: gold, coins, bank accounts, properties, land...but it also refers to having FAITH in that THING that caused us to be born as humans.

To know we will be alright even when it looks like there is not enough to go around. FEEL NO LACK.

To know that we are loved, and to love ourselves for who we are, and to want to be a better person even when you think nobody else loves you. JUST FEEL LOVE.

For more info, go to Wikipedia: here is an excerpt:

The Bersih 2.0 rally (also called the Walk for Democracy) was a demonstration in Kuala Lumpur held on 9 July 2011 as a follow-up to the 2007 Bersih rally. The rally, organised by the Coalition for Clean and Fair Elections (Bersih), was supported byPakatan Rakyat, the coalition of the three largest opposition parties in Malaysia, but was deemed illegal by the government. Bersih, chaired by former president of the Bar Council Ambiga Sreenevasan, were pushing the Election Commission of Malaysia (EC) to ensure free and fair elections in Malaysia. It demanded that the EC clean up the electoral roll, reform postal voting, use indelible ink, introduce a minimum 21-day campaign period, allow all parties free access to the media, and put an end to electoral fraud....

...The Plan Is Working Well...

2011-07-08T11:07:00.003+08:00

http://www.malaysia-today.net/mtcolumns/no-holds-barred/41709-the-plan-is-working-well

Raja Petra Kamaruddin

Tan Sri: So, Datuk, are things working according to plan?

Datuk: Yes, Tan Sri, everything is perfect. We got the Federal Territory Mufti to issue his fatwah.

Tan Sri: Good, and how was it?

Datuk: He made it very clear that it is obligatory for all Muslims to support the government. If you oppose the government then you are kafir and you will burn in hell for eternity.

Tan Sri: He said it exactly like that?

Datuk: Not exactly like that lah, Tan Sri. He has to twist and turn a bit to confuse the Muslims.

Tan Sri: I see, like what most of these people do best anyway.

Datuk: The mufti said that from their understanding of the Quran and Sunnah, ulamas agree, etc., etc. etc. But he did not quote any verses from the Quran or any of the so-called Hadith. He also never mentioned by name whichulamas are of this opinion. So he very cleverly left it vague, which is therefore quite safe because no one can contradict him.

Tan Sri: But won’t the Muslims ask for clarification since it is very vague?

Datuk: No lah, Tan Sri. When we were children, remember, we were never allowed to question the ustaz or ask for clarification? Whenever we ask any questions the ustaz would whack us and tell us that only those influenced by the devil will was-was.

Tan Sri: Very true. Yes, it is easy to fool Muslims because they will swallow whatever these so-called religious people say, hook, line and sinker. So far no one has contradicted the mufti with their own fatwah? Not even Nik Aziz or Dr Asri?

Datuk: No. It’s already more than 24 hours and no one has rebutted the mufti. So I don’t think we will face any problems. We can now circulate this fatwah in all the kampongs.

Tan Sri: I am surprised that Muslims can swallow this fatwah without question. If they just used their brains they will know that all the Prophets -- Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad -- opposed the government. If what themufti said is true then Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad will also become kafir.

Datuk: Exactly. But then our education system has been able to reduce Muslims to a race that never questions religious people. So, as long as it comes from religious people, no one asks any questions -- although sometimes these religious people bullshit just like politicians.

Tan Sri: Don’t we all know that. And what about the other matters?

Datuk: BERSIH has applied to use Stadium Merdeka but we rejected their application. We gave them a very vague excuse that some renovation work needs to be done on the stadium.

Tan Sri: But I thought that same night they were supposed to have a rock concert.

Datuk: That has been postponed to 1st October.

Tan Sri: I see, so the stadium is really closed then?

Datuk: Not quite. We are considering allowing PERKASA to use the stadium instead.

Tan Sri: On the 9th?

Datuk: Yes. Same time and date as BERSIH.

Tan Sri: But how will we explain rejecting BERSIH but approving PERKASA?

Datuk: We will say that PERKASA applied first.

Tan Sri: But we said we rejected BERSIH because of the renovation work.

Datuk: We will say that the renovation work is now delayed because the budget has not been approved yet.

Tan Sri: This sounds like we are twisting and turning.

Datuk: We ARE twisting and turning, Tan Sri.

Tan Sri: Can the people buy this?

Datuk: Well, we used this same excuse when Tunku Abdul Rahman and Hussein Onn applied to form Umno Malaysia. We rejected Umno Malaysia’s application on grounds that Umno Baru applied to use the Umno name first even though Umno Baru submitted their application three days after Umno Malaysia.

Tan Sri: Yes, I remember that one. So everything is going smooth according to plan then?

Datuk: Not quite, Tan Sri. PERKASA requested an audience with His Majesty the Agong but Istana Negara declined the request.

Tan Sri: Oh, how are we going to explain that?

Datuk: We will think of a good spin. Not sure what we are going to say yet though.

Tan Sri: Hmm…that’s embarrassing.

Datuk: Never mind. We can always refocus attention on different issues.

Tan Sri: Like what?

Datuk: Well, the police have announced that BERSIH is still an illegal organisation even though His Majesty consented to the audience. That means we can still arrest those behind BERSIH. Then the police announced that anyone wearing BERSIH T-shirts would still be arrested. Then the police announced that BERSIH still needs to apply for a police permit even though the assembly in the stadium is the Prime Minister’s idea. The people will all argue about this and will forget that His Majesty refused to meet PERKASA.

Tan Sri: Have they applied for the police permit yet?

Datuk: Not sure but even if they have we can still reject the application because they need to apply for a permit 14 days before the event and 9th July is only three days away. That is the rule, 14 days.

Tan Sri: But what about PERKASA’s application? How can we approve theirs if we reject BERSIH’s?

Datuk: We can backdate it and say that they applied for the police permit more than 14 days ago.

Tan Sri: Good plan. Okay, and do you think all this is working in our favour?

Datuk: I think so, Tan Sri. People will be so angry because of all these twists, turns and bullshit that BN is going to get whacked in the next election.

Tan Sri: Good, very good. We need to create as much problems as we can so that BN performs very badly just like Pak Lah did in March 2008. Then Muhyiddin and Mukhriz can push for Najib’s resignation just like Najib pushed Pak Lah out after the last GE.

Datuk: I think that is more or less assured, Tan Sri. Najib is looking more and more stupid on this BERSIH blunder. The Umno people are really pissed. We told Muhyiddin and Mukhriz to stay very silent and not make any comments. Let Najib and the police do all the talking.

Tan Sri: Yes, I have noticed how quiet Muhyiddin and Mukhriz have been. Khairy did open his mouth though.

Datuk: Yes, he said he is prepared to work with BERSIH. Umno Youth will whack him hard on this…you see.

Tan Sri: Okay, I need to brief Tun on all these developments. Keep me updated on anything new.

Datuk: Will do, Tan Sri. And please send Tun my salam and tell him we are with him all the way.

Tan Sri: I think Tun is going to be very pleased. His son should be the DPM very soon once Muhyiddin becomes PM.

Don't Hate Me 'Cos I'm Beautiful

2011-07-05T01:49:00.000+08:00

Just a few days ago, I sat and listened to a 10-year-old girl strut and sing a very popular song, a song I might have heard before but never really paid any attention to. Well, that tune is now in my head the whole day, and the lyrics says "don't hate me cos I'm beautiful."

I've been singing this line in my head over and over again. When I was listening to that spunky girl singing, I questioned those words.

What kind of girl dared to say those words? She would be so amazing. Girls hate girls who are over-confident about their beauty. Is that a talent?

I'm sure that if I had met someone like that in school, I would have hated this person...cos I was the girl not even other girls could remember. And here, there would be this one pretty girl who knew she was being looked at, gossiped about -- by other girls because of her beauty. And yet, inside each girl who gossiped about her, we would have this secret longing to get the kind of attention which is the privilege for a beautiful girl.

Truthfully, I have never said "don't hate me 'cos I'm beautiful." I still don't think I could ever say it. And I can't imagine it coming out from my mouth. But instead, I have thought these words: "He must have left me because I'm ugly."

This is the confession of a woman who doesn't think much about herself. She wished she was as beautiful as that actress, as beautiful as her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, as beautiful as that girl everyone is talking about...

Just those few words coming out of a 10-year-old's singing left such questioning and challenge in this older woman's soul. I could almost cry just thinking of these words.

I have no conclusion from it. It's just made me realize how much I couldn't accept of myself, and how much I looked down on myself. Maybe I can get an answer for myself soon.

Shame vs Self-Acceptance

2011-06-27T02:51:00.005+08:00

A female friend called today to ask if I had heard -- that someone from my past had pass away suddenly. I said no. I hadn't heard any news about this guy at all -- the first guy that I ever called my boyfriend...at aged 19. That was 20 years ago, and I had not seen or heard from him for...must be about 10 years or more?

I'm sure my friend thought I might be a little upset to hear the unfortunate news. And I thought I should pretend to be....just a little. When her husband took the phone to speak to me, I admitted that I didn't feel anything. It was a long, long time ago. Even memories of happier times with him during my youth could not spark any emotion in me. Even though I once felt so loved by him, that love cannot be found today.

Either my heart has been numbed, or it is at peace.

I thought about myself for just a moment....yes, selfishly. I didn't think about him nor the family he left behind. They are strangers to me.

I thought...wow, if we had gotten married then, I will be a widow today. But after a brief time when he was my whole world -- causing me to even defy my parents who objected strongly against our relationship, mainly because he was of a different race -- he and the relationship we had, have been buried almost without a trace all these years.

I just watched a drama series which affected me deeply -- a Korean story where our hero had lost his memory of a bad accident that happened when he was 21. We ask, could that happen psychologically, if the accident had not physically damaged part of his memory cells?

I tried to remember my ex's last name. I wanted to search the internet to see if I could find out more about his passing. It took over a minute before I could recall his last name! I thought about myself. My memory was either failing or he was just too far away from my mind. But I knew that I had pushed him out of my mind more than a decade ago -- because the memories he left were only those of pain and fear. Some people do deliberately push something away that had cause them a lot of pain.

Sure, it's not right to say something bad about someone behind their backs, and especially if that someone has just died.

I just thought that I should write about it here. Maybe it's to heal me. Maybe I'm just a nasty person. Maybe I should just forget it. Maybe it's to recall the foolishness of my youth. Maybe it's to accept my weaknesses and embarassment.

Why are painful memories stronger than happy memories? Whenever I thought of him, I just associated him with pain in me. Months and years after our break-up, I avoided him. I avoided everything that associated with him. I had fear every time I thought about him or accidentally bumped into him or received an out-of-the-blue phone call from him.

I realized I did not want to continue the relationship with him when I was in university on the other side of the world. I met another guy. Isn't that the classic cause of break-ups? Even though I never developed any relationship with that new guy other than being his friendly acquaintance, he brought a realization to the ambitious me, that I expected more of my life, a life I did not think my current boyfriend could fit into. And so I spoke the break-up line at his next loving, long-distance phone call.

About half a year later, I returned home after graduation and a 4-month holiday. Thank God that mobile phones did not exist in our lifestyle back then. I had gotten a few calls begging me to resume our relationship as he could not live without me. I should have felt flattered. Instead, all I felt was irritation. I didn't think that matters would become worse. He had told his family and my friends about me dumping him. I'm sure now he was shocked. I got the hints that I was being spoken about as if I was the evil queen of the west who had stabbed the heart of a good and loving man.

He started calling my house all the time, which made my relationship with my parents worse. He kept wanting to meet me. He begged. He cried. He yelled. I was a naive girl. (I am still naive today). He threatened to kill himself if I did not meet him. I gave in and met him a couple of times just to appease him, all the while feeling frustrated and fearful that he would do what he threatened to do. He even claimed that he had a bad medical condition and he had a doctor's letter to prove it. I don't think I ever saw it. But he was not giving up.

Then he wanted me to go on a romantic dinner for two on his upcoming birthday. He told me that he had made reservations and had also paid for it, so it could not be canceled. I was naive. I had never made reservations at any restaurant before so I did know that one did not have to pay upfront. He would not take "no" for an answer.

At the same time, some of my friends had returned from overseas and was organizing a get-together in the same area where he had booked the romantic dinner. I decided to stand him up. I drove to meet my friends. It was probably quite close to midnight when we left our happy get-together. But after only a few minutes of driving, I looked into the rearview mirror and panicked when I realized that his car was tailing me. I was extremely upset with myself that I had let him find me that easily.

And thus, began the horrific, dramatic car chase scene of my life, the kind that I so often watched in the movies! Except that those cars were driven by stuntmen!

The location was the major highway that led me home. Unfortunately, the entire stretch of that highway was under major upgrading and broadening so temporary dividers had been put up that made the road zigzag with the change of lanes all the way for about 10 kilometres. Perhaps I was actually good at driving. I managed to not hit anything while swerving and speeding on the fast lane as his car tried to force me to the side, meaning that I could hit the dividers anytime! There was no reliable system set for us drivers who had to skillfully maneuver that winding highway. I was lucky that I had been driving to my workplace, 45 kilometres from home, under those conditions for several weeks already, so my regular driving instincts got me through the snaking moves along that messy highway.

Several times I tried to lose him. I thought I would be smart by quickly exiting into another road. But I was not fast enough and he managed to follow me into lonely stretches. A couple of times, he stopped his car suddenly in front of my moving car, causing me to brake dangerously. He got down yelling and banging on my car. I managed to turn my steering wheel and drive past him.

Somehow I managed to speed all the way to my friend's house -- the friend who called me today. I knew I couldn't go home and cause a scene in front of my parents. When I parked in front of her house, I was already in a state of fear and panic. I quickly got down and banged on her gate and called her name. Luckily she was in but she could not come out of the house immediately. It is always during our hour of need that our friends usually have a facial mask on!

Her dad was looking at me from inside the house with a worried face. My ex had followed me closely. He came down from his car and shouted at me. He was literally a mad man. I was so embarassed to cause this commotion in front of my friend's dad.

Thank God my friend came out rather quickly, gave my ex a big scolding as she got into my car and asked me to drive to a mutual male friend's house. She hoped that our male friend could talk some sense into my deranged ex. We reached the parking lot of our friend's apartment complex. I don't remember how we found out that he was not home. Maybe my female friend had gone to his house to look for him, or one of us might have had a mobile phone to call his house phone. He did not own a mobile phone. She suggested that we just stay in the car and wait for our male friend to return home.

My ex had, of course, followed us. My female friend winded down the window and lashed back at him for his bewildering behaviour. I was scared to death already and could not think straight. He was walking up and down beside my car and wouldn't stop shouting. She must have opened the door on her side, because suddenly his hand reached in and slapped me hard! My tears instantly rolled. Through the stinging pain, I heard my friend's angry voices mixed with our male friend's. He had come in time to pull my ex away. I was grateful for my friends. She tried to comfort me as I sent her home then drove myself home.

After that night, I was not really bothered much more by him. My mother had woken out of bed as I reached home. She said she had sensed something was wrong even though I was used to coming home after late-night suppers with friends. I had been planning to go to my room and cry. But I cried instantly in front of my mother as she noticed the redness on my cheek where I had been slapped.

We had our home phone number changed. Mom wanted to send me off to work in another country. But I decided not to go away to be more alone. But from then, I was frightened of him. I shook with fear when I accidentally saw him once, and he was glaring at me.

Slowly, the painful memories were suppressed until this man no longer mattered.

Everybody has a right to the story in their life -- even for him. What was painful for me need not be a judgement on him. This story is about me after all. What I have learned about life is not to be as concerned about what somebody else is doing than what I am thinking and feeling. There is a fine line between thoughtlessness and self-esteem.

I am figuring out what it is I have to learn in facing my bad experiences. Yes, let them ago. At the same time, there was so much shame for me as I questioned the appropriateness of my own feelings and actions as I chose to leave that guy.

But the Universe has been reminding me -- and just yesterday, I picked a tarot card to my question about who is my soulmate, and the card turned out to be Self-Acceptance.

Secret Garden - Inspiration for Creativity & Love Again

2011-06-12T18:41:00.003+08:00

For 1 whole week, I was filled with the madness of a schoolgirl looking for love. It was sleepless nights waiting for the streaming to work and when it worked, I watched until I fell asleep -- all 20 episodes.

What is the reason for this infatuation and exhilaration -- so long gone -- awakened by fiction? Awakened by masters at hope and love.

Each song from the soundtrack is filled with feelings. Yes, feelings. These are what make us go mad, sad. We believe in feelings. Then we run away from them. Then we are told to believe again in our feelings. But what do these feelings bring? More heartbreak? Or more love?

Sharing with you: the inspiration for creativity and love again.

Do I Need To Care What Others Think Of Me?

2011-06-07T09:52:00.000+08:00

I looked for an answer when I became angry hearing that I was fired from my last job when in actual fact I had resigned. So what to do when people are going around spreading these news about me and destroying my career?

Chill

2011-05-09T03:00:00.002+08:00

God, I want $30,000.

2011-03-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

God, I want $30,000. Since I ordered it a few times (by mistake), please don't ignore the duplicate orders and just send them all to me.

(P.S. I forgot how many times I ordered).

If He Doesn't Love Me Back

2011-02-01T09:31:00.000+08:00

This is the question a lot of us ask one time or other in our relationship.

"He doesn't love me back. He's not paying me enough attention. I give and give and give but he doesn't give me back any." Ladies, sound familiar?

Well, just listen to this. We don't need any love from somebody to approve our worth.

Just love yourself. That is the secret to the Universe's blessings. That was all it was suppose to be. How easy was that!

Slap Me Cos I Should Have Slapped Myself -- Now Shut Up And Receive My Blessings

2011-01-02T01:19:00.002+08:00

When I Was In My Teens, I Used To Worry That God Would Make Me Marry Somebody I Hate

2011-01-01T23:39:00.003+08:00

I read Conversations With God more than 10 years ago when I was going through a break-up. I was searching for God and who I am in this universe. One thing lead to another as I embarked on the first steps of awakening of my soul, the revealing of God as He really is.

But unfortunately, my mind's programming had been so steep in negativity that it is taking more than 10 years to completely understand who I am and who God is. Lucky for me I found Zero Limits to help me cleanse my dirty brain.

And Esther Hicks' channeling of God's energies (named Abraham as a reference) is helping to answer many questions on how to process our thoughts and re-align them with Godly energy that is the Source Energy of this Universe.

Get Passive Income

2010-12-31T10:16:00.002+08:00

How To Do It? How Does It Work?

God Made It So Easy ... Why Make It So Hard For Ourselves?

2010-12-31T10:04:00.001+08:00

Hook up with the Energy that creates Worlds. Hook up with God.

Tune in to God (have faith, believe that whatever you ask, you will receive & feel good about it coming & expect it). And now you will be moving through live doing the action that supports your knowledge of well-being.

When you tune into the Energy that creates Worlds, the inspiration to call this person & go there; the inspiration will flow through you; you'll be the busiest, most active person that you've ever known in your life. But the inspiration comes first & inspires the action. The action doesn't create.

I Love You. And If I Can Love You, You Are Already Here.

2010-12-29T01:48:00.001+08:00

Abraham's answer channeled through Esther Hicks.

Dear God, I see through your games...

2010-12-17T02:34:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

Your game has been exposed. And I finally, finally, finally realize it.

Oh, what a fool I've been not to pay any attention to those messages and to their messengers.

William Shakespeare had mentioned hundreds of years ago and I know this quote by heart: "All the world's a stage."

Why, why, why did I not understand this earlier? Why did I not understand to take these words literally?

(/to be continued)

Forgive Me

2010-12-02T23:53:00.005+08:00

I went to see a highly-recommended tarot reader yesterday. I had gotten her number from a friend who thought that a session with her was worth every penny.

I never look for tarot readers unless I was desperately needing to talk to someone, desperately needing help to make a decision.

Except an encounter 3 years ago that was supposed to be tarot for fun, and I forgot all about the "predictions" soon. But what happened 8 months later was a prediction that came true. I was dumbfounded when I looked back.

At that time, I was in a business partnership I was unhappy with, but at the time of the tarot reading, I did not know how to handle the situation. The tarot reader said he saw me having a great career in the next few years, so don't be afraid to strike out on my own.

He could see that 8 months later I would already be out of that business. I was shocked as I never thought of leaving that partnership. How could I go out on my own without any backing? So I laughed at that prediction, told a friend, and soon forgot about it.

6 months later, I had decided, with much distress, to leave the business partnership quickly. After another distressing 2 months, caused by the partner refusing to liquidate the profit from my shareholding, I suddenly remembered the tarot reader's predictions...

Well, this time I went with 1 objective: to find out if I should quit my job or stay. If I stayed, would life get better? If I quit, can I find another job quickly and have some money to pay my bills?

The first thing this female tarot reader told me was that I thought too far ahead. News for you who like to plan ahead?

I was very comfortable with her, as she was very soulful and intuitive. She reminded me that this world is a stage for our soul to develop and experience itself through many lifetimes. (read Conversations with God).

My cards showed that I had many successes in the past, but I had lost a lot of confidence in my present situation. But what is the lesson I was supposed to learn in this lifetime?

I drew the Creativity card, showing her that I was a very creative person. And I had to believe in myself, and spur ahead to do my creative work.

She showed me that my low confidence and lack of self-esteem attracted people and problems that aggravated the loss of confidence in myself. Her advise was to de-stress myself and go back to zero.

I picked a card to represent staying in the current job -- Seeker. And I picked another to represent leaving it -- Change. She read it and explained that it did not matter which decision I made. If I stayed, there was a lesson to be learned at the end of it, as my soul "seeked" to learn something about itself. And if I left this job, I had to change my mind about my self-limitations, otherwise the whole distressing situation would repeat itself -- in different locations, in different people.

The lesson that I had to learn was to love myself. Cause right now, I was not loving myself, and instead, I was hard on myself, and I was at a low point. It was a pleasant surprise when she mentioned the distance-healing capabilities of a certain Dr in Hawaii...

I quickly said that I had read the book a few months ago (Zero Limits). She smiled and suggested me to do some meditation to relax myself and repeat to myself "I love you" -- assuring me of the powers in me.

Loving me means forgiving myself. Forgive me for thinking badly about myself. Everything is alright, that I am alright. Loving me, means attracting people and situations who love me. Ah...the Law of Attraction....that's right.

She suggested that every night I take a moment to close my eyes and say "I love you." And while saying that, imagine each and every one of the people working with me standing in front of me, and say "I love you" to them. She says it will turn my situation around.

I did it.

I felt liberated.

I felt powerful.

I felt good.

Feeling is everything.

Write Yourself A Love Letter

2010-11-25T22:56:00.006+08:00

I felt so stressed today. Somebody wanted to quit in frustration today. After 15 years of toil in this industry, this job is the hardest when it should be the simplest.

What can I do now but blame it all on bad feng shui?

Now I understand why the Japanese committed harakiri, or why some people commit suicide from the stress -- at this point, that seems to be very logical.

And so I opened a bottle of beer and drank up the coolness. Not enough. So I switched on the internet and looked for my horoscope this week. Rob Brezny's Free Will Astrology wrote something inspiring despite the challenges. But all other horoscopes told me that this was going to be a great megawatt-smile week! So what happened to my life?

I keep wondering God why am I in this situation? What have I done to deserve this? Must been have something really bad. What have I done with my life?

Then I came across Soul Vibrations and it said to: write a love letter to yourself.

My tears dropped. I couldn't imagine writing a love letter to myself. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve love. Could this be the source of all my problems? I'm not able to write a love letter to myself. I was just wondering why God gave us love for someone who didn't love us in return and who are not available to us. Could it be because we didn't think we deserved to be loved?

Give me a moment. I need to start somewhere. I need to start now.

Dear Me,

I love you for who you are. For all the years of suffering and heartaches. For all the years of happiness and jokes. For autumn leaves. For sandy oceans. For dreams. For hopes. For picking up the pieces of your shattered heart. For picking up yourself after your confidence leaves you. I love you for all the fears and tears that you shed. I love you for wanting to be loved. I love you when you had doubts about yourself. And I love you when you got over it and worked to be stronger. I love you for reading all those books, attending all those classes, spending all that money -- to be better. I love you for loving the people you love so much. I love you for so many things I cannot write about now....I love you from the bottom of my heart.

Bogus Supermodel Organizer

2009-10-17T11:52:00.009+08:00

Life has been hectic lately. A big news that blew me away was when this happened:

Amber in contractual dispute with reality show's creator

In May this year, a father and daughter team approached us to help them produce a reality TV show entitled Malaysia's Supermodel Search presents Ford Supermodel of the World.

After meeting with us several times and asking us to work them long-term to organize this show for TV, we gave them the costings revised several times as they kept coming back to change this and that. They also asked us to help them create the content for 10 episodes and wanted our profile to submit to the broadcaster.

Seeing that they were sincere as that they kept coming back and assuring that they will work with us and from their word, we sat and discussed with them. However, they kept delaying our request for them to pay us to start the production. Time was running out as they themselves said that the schedule was tight and they had to deliver the Supermodel winner to the international competition by the first week of November. This dilemma dragged from May to Aug.

Finally in mid-Aug 09, they said they had finally found their sponsor and apologized to keep us waiting for so long. They asked us to revise our quotation one more time as they said, now the Final episode was going to be held on that 'popular tourist spot up on the hill' + a few more items. They said they would sign the contract & pay us to start work within the same weekend. You see, they had finally scheduled the roadshow and auditions within the next 2 weeks. It had to go on and we were out of time in preparing the 'shotgun production' that it had turned out to be.

They met with us on a Thursday and promised to pay by the following Monday. Well, Monday came and went. No reply from them. Tuesday came and went. And they did not reply our messages. We had booked the crew to shoot on that Saturday. By Wednesday, still no news, so I sent a message that we were canceling that shoot if they didnt reply by 5pm. The father called and asked if it was ok NOT to shoot that week. Well, if they couldn't pay then we hv to delay the shooting till the next thing was planned. So we advised them to delay the actual competition as we knew they couldn't have possibly organized the contestants well looking at their chaotic schedule.

They went ahead with the audition at the end of Aug in which Amber Chia was invited to judge. And our calls were still not answered about starting production. Time was running out.

The Continuation...

On Sept 7, a friend called and asked if we were available to help her out in a very urgent production. She described what it was -- our concept! So, being pissed off at the unprofessional behaviour of our "client", we sent her a message to clarify what this news was about. Our "client" said that she had news for us, she had just signed a partnership with Amber Chia, and Amber will be the one producing this show after all, and "to be fair to her," she quoted, Amber is looking for quotations. She said she would "check with Amber" and get back to us.

We were not pleased at having been taken for a ride. So, is it ok that anyone that has money can call themselves a producer or a modeling competition organizer? Well, I guess so with the no-respect-to-the-profession attitude in this country.

Frankly, in my mind I was thinking it was a smart step for Miss Client to partner with Amber and use her high-profile to get things done, knowing that our client had next-to-nothing knowledge in putting together a modeling competition, let alone a TV event. But at the same time, I was feeling that it was a stupid move on her part because now this is going to be known as "Amber's show." She is the one that the public knows, and once Amber is associated with it, where would Miss Client stand? We knew she was keen to be known as the boss, seeing that this was her "baby." But, if she could just be satisfied with being the back seat partner, why worry for her?

Well, what do you think happened next? Amber and our client was pictured in the papers several days after that, smiling and announcing their MOU.

But another 2 weeks later, on Oct 5, Amber's crying face was splashed all over the papers, as she claimed to have been duped by her partner, which she considered her good friend. I can't say that I know the entire story, but I don't think Amber even knew this client that well -- her good friend.

As for the rest of the story....you can search online. My gut feeling before that was correct...it will be known as "Amber's show" after all...

Some people are saying that both these girls are playing this up for publicity. I don't know but I don't think so....

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/10/5/nation/4843326&sec=nation

http://www.dailychilli.com/news/229-ford-wants-amber

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/12/2/nation/5219751&sec=nation

Mentor of Mentors

2009-09-20T15:03:00.000+08:00

Beware the New Generation

2009-09-20T10:43:00.013+08:00

I just spent about 9 hours (excluding lunch and dinner break) directing two hyperactive 10-year-olds on their new TV show. I have to admit that I was wrong about 10-year-olds. I thought they would be more grown-up. How wrong I was. They are still a bunch of kids, mimicking scenes and lines from TV shows.

"Where's your brain, Woman?"
"I don't want to be in the same club with him!"

Choose the correct answer. The above lines were spoken by:
a. A couple in the midst of a divorce settlement
b. Club members having a debate
c. Kids insulting each other

(The answers are at the end of this article....in case you reaaaaalllly cannot guess).

The 10 adults of the production team in the studio were drained of energy just looking at those two's antics.

In between takes, our two future adults were running off to find the closest computer so that they could log on to pet's society and add us as their friends, play Pet Society, throw insults at each other, skip around, ask for snacks and orange drink etc.

The girl is planning to use the money she makes from this shoot to buy a DS. What is a DS, ancient me wanted to know but dare not ask in case I get a "You don't know what's a DS?" Apparently, it's some Nintendo game.

I must be a real square cos I don't play Nintendo or Playstation and I can hardly touch Farmtown on Facebook. I get bored after a few minutes, and I start wondering what this is all for.

Well, I just tried googling DS and this is what I found. I'm upset that I'm not an agent promoting DS here so that I can make some money : (

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270458862250

Answer: C