I made buttercreams for a recent Holiday Cookie Exchange, and THEY WERE GOOD. A bit messy, but if you don’t mind getting your fingertips (and maybe your countertops) a bit dirty, then have at it! I love a good candy. Buttercreams are elegant and tasty. You can dress them up with sprinkles, like I did. Or keep them simple with just a chocolate drizzle. It also got me thinking, you could EASILY try different flavors of buttercream such as coconut or orange, lemon with a bit of zest, etc. I kept it simple since this was my first time - I created a timeless Vanilla Buttercream by using Vanilla and Almond extract. Play around with it and see what you come up with!

Here’s the recipe:

You’ll need:
*1 stick softened butter (room temp, not microwaved)
*4 cups confectioners sugar
*2 tablespoons milk
*2 teaspoons vanilla flavoring
*1/2 teaspoon almond flavoring
*pinch of salt
*16 ounces of semi-sweet baking chocolate squares (4 bars)
*1/2 teaspoon vegetable oil

Here’s what you do.

Mix all ingredients well until stiff. Slowly sift in sugar and mix (don’t put all 4 cups in at once).
Once combined well, refrigerate for about an hour and up to 24 hours (can make ahead of time).

Once it’s refrigerated and hardened, use a small scoop and form little candy mounds. Put back in fridge for a few minutes while you make the chocolate dipping sauce.
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Break the chocolate bars into small pieces. Using either microwave or double boiler method (this is what I did), melt the chocolate slowly, stirring consistently so it doesn’t burn or stick. Once melted, stir in the oil. Remove from heat and let cool for about 5 minutes.
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Now you coat the buttercream. This is where it gets messy. I tried a couple of different ways to do this and ended up dropping in the chocolate with a spoon. Spinning it around to make sure it was covered, then scooping it out on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Because the buttercream is cool, the chocolate hardens pretty quickly so you will want to work fast in decorating with sprinkles.
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Good luck, and happy creating!

Get To Planning, and Then Get Started. Some things to consider when planning - how tall do you want the boards to go? In my case, our ceilings are pretty tall, so I knew I wanted the boards to extend up over half of the wall height. Being shorter might look a bit odd since there would then be so much blank wall above. What width of board and how much space between the boards do you want? This may be determined by your room size. This will also help you plan how many boards you will actually need. When thinking about this, I also consider the location of outlets, light switches, windows, doors, etc to have the boards ‘fall’ where it can be a seamless board (vs having to cut or work around these things). The good news is …this is YOUR diy project and you can do whatever you want!

I’ve done a few projects now, and it’s so easy. What you’ll need to get started:

• Pre-Primed MDF Boards

• Level

• Brad Nailer and 1 1/4” nails

• Measuring Tape

• Stud Finder

• Liquid Nails/Construction Adhesive

• Basic Chop Saw

• Caulk and Wood Filler

Pre-Primed MDF Boards - I use pre-primed MDF, simply because it’s a good affordable option and requires less prep work for paint. They run around $6-7 per 8-foot piece, and are available in different widths. There are cheaper pieces of wood but then you’ll spend a ton of time sanding, filling holes or defects, priming and prepping just to be able to paint it. Pre-primed wood is a much easier way to go.

STEP ONE: Use a stud finder to locate the studs and mark them off. It’s not necessary that your BB follow the studs but it’s good to know where they are. Once this is done, determine the height of your top horizontal board and cut it to size. Use a level to help with positioning, and adhere it with the construction adhesive (liquid nails) and the brad nailer.

STEP TWO: If you don’t already have a square baseboard, I would recommend removing the baseboard and replacing it with a 5-7” square trim piece. Fortunately, our home has square baseboards which tend to be more common in newer homes., so I didn’t have to go through this step. But you will want a solid/flat surface for your battens to meet on the bottom. They will not rest flush with a traditional baseboard piece/trim.

STEP THREE: It’s time to begin your planning for the battens (vertical pieces). If you’ve done research on other blogs, you’ll see that some will put a board on each end of the wall and then work their way inward. This is common if you’re only doing an accent wall, but not the best approach if you are doing the full room. Pick a place to start. I will usually start in the middle of the largest wall. Put your first batten in place using a level to ensure that it’s level, adhere it with adhesive and brad nails. Then using your level, measure out the position of the rest of the battens. Make a mark for the width of each board and for the distance between each one. You’ll find this makes the process go a bit quicker. I will even draw long vertical lines showing the location of each piece.

STEP FOUR: Try to maintain consistent spacing between each batten, even as you turn the corner of the room. For example, if your spacing is at 10” between battens and there is only 2” left for that wall, then count the 2” and then 8” on the adjacent wall. Does this make sense?? And always remember to use the level! Some floors may be unlevel, and this could throw off the whole project. I ALWAYS check each individual piece with the level before I adhere it to the wall.

STEP FIVE: Once all boards/battens are in place,, it’s time to fill the nail holes and cracks! Use wood filler, to fill all of the brad holes. You will want to make sure you use a minimal amount (I always apply with my finger!) because you will be sanding the excess off in the next step to give you a smooth surface. Go around all seams where the boards meet the wall with caulk. Again I will use my finger to smooth it out and then a damp paper towel to make sure it’s as smooth as possible (and to wipe off the excess). Use the towel and your finger to drag down the seam.

STEP SIX: Once the wood filler and caulk have dried, Use a fine grit sand paper (220) to smooth it out. Run your hand down each board to feel it and sand the rougher spots), hitting all of the nail holes. Then use a damp cloth to remove all sanding dust. If you take your time and focus on getting this steps right, it will make a difference in the final outcome.

STEP SEVEN: Time for PAINT! tip: some will paint the wall before adding the BB - i have not done this yet, but can definitely see how doing this would help. The BB may create small spaces and crevices that are difficult to get to once they are in place, like around windows, sinks, mirrors, etc. This was the case in the powder room I just completed. I wish I had painted the walls first…but oh well .. live and learn.

I hope these steps help you plan your next project! Research and watching videos is great! But this biggest lessons can be found from just getting started. I with each of my projects.

Good luck!

Elizabeth

So…. YES, I saw the DIY pumpkin posts. And had envy so wanted to try it for myself. After watching a few videos, looking at some photos and reading a few Insta-stories. I came up with a game plan and jumped right in. I mean, who doesn’t want to have a Pottery Barn-esque Pumpkin pillow for CHEAP.

I found the supplies at Walmart. They had a couple of precut fabrics that were seasonal and soft and that I thought went well with my decor. I bought two fabric bundles for $8 and $4. I also picked up a bag of Polyfill for $7 and twine for $5. So my investment so far is only $24. And I can make as many pillows as I want!

I tried several different methods but to create the pumpkin shape but wanted to share my two favorite ways here.

Cut Out a Large Circle From Your Fabric.

You will then want to stitch around with the needle, going in and out, pulling it tight each time. When you go all the way around the fabric circle, you will end up with a little “pouch”. Fill the pouch with as much polyfill as you can until it is full and firm. Then cut four pieces of twine or string and bring them around the pumpkin in even sections, tying at the top, to create the pumpkin sections. Then cut a different piece of fabric to create the stem. You can assemble this with either a hot glue gun or with stitching. I did a combination of both. I used the hot glue to roll/glue the stem, then stitched it onto the pumpkin. Tip: Be careful with hot glue. It is HOT and will burn your skin off (speaking from experience).

Another way (and my preferred method): Use the arms of an old sweater. This was much faster than my first try and I thought the pumpkin was a bit cuter and had more texture. I used an old Express sweater that I hadn’t worn in years (plus we’re in South Carolina now and thick sweaters are not typically needed). It was a great fall-ish color and had some good texture. Tip: If you don’t have an older sweater you want to sacrifice, then you can most likely find one at your local thrift store for cheap.

First step is to cut off the arms. Then, cinch one of the arm ends with a rubber band tightly (and yes, I used my daughter’s pink hair band because that’s all I could find at the time. It worked like a charm!) Once the rubber band is in place, turn the arm inside out so the band is on the inside. Tip: Make sure the rubber band is as tight as possible because you don’t want it to come undone once you’re finished.

Next you will want to tuck the top of the sweater arm into itself, so it forms a ball. Then cut four strings/twine long-enough to go around the ball and tie tightly at the top. Make sure they are spaced out so they form somewhat equal sections, resembling a pumpkin. At this point, you will start to see it take shape.

Once the strings are in place, I wanted to stitch them at the bottom to hold them in position. They should be pulled pretty tightly, but this will ensure the strings/sections do not slip around. Just to be on the safe side.

To create the stem, I roughly cut a small rectangle of fabric (different color), folded it over then wrapped it around the end of the strings at the top. I then (again) used the glue gun to hold it in place. You probably could have used the hot glue to seal the fabric down at the edges. But I decided to stitch it down to ensure it didn’t come apart, plus I could hold the fabric in the position I wanted by doing this. It created an irregular-looking stem and base, which I liked.

Isn’t she a cutie???

Comment below and let me know what you think. Or, if you’d made your own, I’d love to see it! Happy creating - just get started!

Elizabeth

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]]>Purposeful HomeButterfly DIYElizabeth GerlachThu, 08 Sep 2022 15:12:55 +0000https://www.finding-my-purpose.com/blog/2022/9/7/beginner-how-to-on-creating-a-cabinetshelving-built-in5c1471121aef1d112340152e:5c14811c4ae23769a9035e0a:6318f68ec916334642a7104dA couple of years ago we moved into a newly-built home in Charleston, SC. It was pretty basic Builder-grade, meaning it didn’t have a ton of the customized features that really make you go WOW. It also lacked some prime storage space (or maybe we have too many things to store). Recently, I’ve been working my way through the house finding ‘opportunities’ to pump it up a notch. The most recent project was adding a built-in in our loft where we have a sectional and a larger TV. I’d gotten my feet wet with smaller cabinets I built for the laundry room, and decided to tackle a larger project.

I’m not going to begin (or try!) to give you step-by-step instructions…because I may or may not be doing this correctly. I’m still learning, remember?? There are tons of plans, blogs and videos online by more experienced folks that will lead you through this. But I WILL offer some newbie tips if you want to tackle any type of woodworking project.

Tip 1: Start with a sketch of what you want - I always do a basic measurement then draw it out in my notebook. Once you have an idea of cabinets/drawers/shelves, etc, you can begin to come up with the larger plan.

Tip 2: Measure and sketch your spacing of the project on the wall. Use your level to make sure the lines are straight. It is OK to write on your wall …you will be covering it up or painting over it. It honestly helped me to visualize the layout of the finished built-in.

Tip 3: Have two drills ready if possible … one with a drill bit for the pilot hole, one for the screw bit. This will save a TON of time. If you don’t have two drills, just simply drill all your pilot holes FIRST, then change out the drill bit, and put in the screws.

Tip 4: Measure and level everything. I have made a few things now, and not everything has come out level (unfortunately), But I’m LEARNING. In our home, I discovered the floor was level but the wall angles were not. You will need to use shims to make adjustments and make sure each component is level (do NOT discard any wood scraps ….see below.)

Tip 5: Cut and remove the baseboards with a reciprocating saw. I’ve seen some built-ins that are built around the baseboard and it just doesn’t work (IMHO). It looks clunky and you will end up needing extra pieces to fill in around the existing board.

Tip 6: If you use Prebuilt cabinet bases like these at Lowe’s, remove and label the cabinet doors and hardware when removing them for painting. This way you can ensure you are placing them back in the appropriate spot. For this project, I simply labeled them 1 - 4 from left to right.

Tip 7: Reuse the baseboard and quarter-round that you removed. This is a way to save $$. Just be careful when removing the pieces. Set them aside and measure and cut the lengths/angles that you need to fit your project.

Tip 8: Do NOT discard any wood scraps. You will want to keep wood pieces on hand in case you need them for a future project. I mean, really, you should see my buckets/boxes of wood scraps. AND, I did dig through them to find pieces that would work as shims for this built-in.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU. And don’t worry about getting started. Just get started.

And Here’s My After.

This day five years ago began as any other day that Benjamin was in the hospital. Except this time, he was a bit more serious, was intubated and had been transferred from our suburban hospital to Lurie Children’s in downtown Chicago.  It would end in a much different way than I ever expected.

There are a couple of things I’m thankful for on that day.

-Ben’s pulmonologist was on rotation as the Attending in the PICU. He had been Ben’s doctor since the NICU. He knew us. He knew Ben. He was in charge and I felt we were in good hands.

-We were fortunate enough to get a room at the Ronald McDonald house near Lurie. They were full and we were initially on the waitlist. We got the call and were given a room so we could have our whole family conveniently near the hospital. We lived 36 miles from Chicago which can easily be 45 minutes to an hour drive. A free room in a place with meals and amenities for families made this process easier.

-He saved me from the heartbreak of seeing his heart stop without preparation or notice. I had been by Benjamin’s bedside all day every day, watching his monitors. Singing him songs. Reading him books. Holding his hands. Massaging his feet. Moving and bending his legs. All of the things that I would do for him on any normal day. Only this was different. He was sedated and ventilated. But I know he knew I was there. Because that night when Rob and I were trading places (I would stay with Ava and Colin overnight, Rob would stay at the hospital) and Benjamin was by himself, his heart stopped. He coded and needed to be revived. The doctor called me to say he had an “episode” and I needed to come back to the hospital. Not really knowing what that meant, I woke my other two sleeping three-year-olds and headed back with them half-asleep still in their pjs with no shoes. We arrived and were met in the lobby by the chaplain who took us up to the PICU. My husband was waiting for me in the hallway, and he finally asked the doctor “is there any chance?” to which the reply was “I’m sorry, he’s gone.” We got to his room and the determined team of nurses was surrounding his bed, taking turns on pumping his chest to keep his little body alive until I could get there. They had been doing this for more than half an hour.

They put me, his mom, in the chair next to his hospital bed. His care team was prepared for what was happening because I was not the first mom to ever lose a child here. The cold plastic hospital recliner was already waiting for me by Ben’s bed. I sat down as they stopped CPR to bring him over to me where I could hold him until his heart slowed and eventually stopped beating.

And just like that, my boy was gone.

It’s been five years… but today is just as meaningful for our family. This morning, Colin suggested we make it a celebration and bake Benjamin a cake. So that is what we will do. Celebrate his life. And eat cake. He loved the sun on his face and the breeze in his hair. So wherever you are today, look up into the May blue sky, say his name and smile.

For Ben.

Living in Charleston, SC, it was a very easy 2-ish hours drive down there. We left in the morning and arrived around 9:30am, giving us a full day to create an adventure and get a feel for the area… before we had to say our goodbyes and head out after lunch the next day.

Go Play Mini-Golf! This is such a ‘beach vacatio’n thing to do, but when you have five kids of various ages, it’s the perfect thing to have on your agenda. You’ll want to do this early before the heat of the day kicks in. And a bonus if you visit one with some great scenery and shade! I know there are many others but we visited Adventure Cove. What I liked about Adventure Cover was the scenery, tropical landscaping, shady course and game room!

After a fun morning of golf, we headed over to the Fish Camp on Broad Creek for lunch by the water. It’s a locally-owned waterfront restaurant with a rich history. We had a large table outside, making it a great spot for the kids. Their menu features a variety of lowcountry favorites. I went with the Grilled Mahi sandwich, and it was delicious!

You can’t go to the beach without actually going to the BEACH! So after lunch, we went back to the condo, changed and headed to the beach. It was a beautiful afternoon although there was a bit of chill in the breeze (it was APRIL, btw). The sun was shining, the kids were happy and the moms got to relax in the sand.

After the beach we headed over the Coligny Plaza for ice cream at Frozen Moo. Coligny is a prime retail and restaurant area of Hilton Head. There are so many options for dining and shopping, you will want to spend a couple of hours wandering around, finding a place to eat and picking up a couple of souvenirs.

The next morning we visited The Sandbox, an interactive children’s activity center. It is probably geared to younger children, but the aircraft flight simulator, pirate ship, construction toys, legos and arts and crafts kept mine engaged for a couple of hours! They are taking Covid-precautions and do accept reservations in an effort to control attendance.

We went to lunch a local fast-food Mexican restaurant. Then hit the road out of town! If you have a few extra minutes and enjoy a bit of retail therapy, there is a Tanger Outlets on the main road off the island. We did not get to stop because we were in a bit of a rush and needed to get back home.

We enjoyed a quick 24-hour visit and plan to go back when we can spend more time and really enjoy what the island has to offer such as biking, water activities, more dining out and more beach time!

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Elizabeth

________________

I am scared.

I am scared for myself. I am scared for the health of my children. I am scared for my husband who has to continue to leave and head to work. I am scared for the germs he may bring home. I am scared for my mother who is by herself in Virginia, who as a young 75 is officially ‘elderly’ by the CDC’s definition — although I don’t think of her as this. I am scared we will be stuck in these four walls until this summer or even longer, the remainder of my kids’ second grade education now left in my hands. I am scared life as we know it we never be the same… from people to stores to restaurants to the community to the economy. This is what the officials are predicting. I hope they are wrong. And I just need to turn off the TV.

But I can’t. I can’t help but watch the news and get even more scared. I do realize that much of what we see in the media is sensationalized, and expert after expert just offering their opinion, when I really just want the facts. Facts such as how many people have tested positive? How many people in Illinois (where we live)? How many in Virginia? How many children have it? What are the symptoms in children? And why is it not affecting kids as much? Once we have it, do we always have it? Or is it like the flu or common cold and just needs to run its course over the following 5-7 days? What is the mortality rate (I figure this out myself .. deaths divided positive cases)? It was 1.8% yesterday and 1.9% today btw - does that mean it’s getting worse? Is there now even more to be scared about? I, along with the media, am making myself crazy.

I fear leaving my home because I just know we will come into contact with it somewhere outside of our walls. Maybe I caught it on Friday when I decided to each lunch at Chipotle and I just haven’t experienced any symptoms yet in the up to 14 day incubation period.

My family had plans. We were excited for what would come the next few months. But now I face each day with nervousness and anxiety. I can’t help but sit in front of the news and take in every bit of information they want to share.

________________

And here we are ….one year later. We know more now than we did then. This new life and way of living seems a bit more normalized. The term ‘socially-distance’ is now a common phrase. I think my family still feels at risk without our protections, my kids becoming quickly uneasy being anywhere without a mask, covering their face if they’ve gotten out of the car without it. It’s become the norm. Who would have imagined a world where we can’t touch, or get near another person, can’t shake hands when meeting someone new. Wiping down shopping cart handles. Carrying around hand-sanitizer in my purse, my car, by the front door … all seems normal now.

My family is becoming vaccinated. My mother and brother are fully vaccinated. My husband and I are both half-way there after receiving our first shot this month.

My husband doesn’t. In fact, it’s probably one of his least favorite things in the entire world. When someone sends us a card with glitter, his response is always “what did we do to them?” or “Why don’t they like us?”

To him, it’s something you can NEVER get rid of. You find it on your clothes, on the floor, in your hair, that one little speck on your cheek two weeks later. It always lingers. Kind of like the that single strand of Easter basket grass or Christmas tree needles that you’re vacuuming four months later.

But if you’re a mom that does crafts with your kids, you know that THEY LOVE IT. So much so, it’s like their craft is not complete without it. It’s not a craft until they pull out the 4 different colors of glitter you have stored on the very top shelf in the craft supply closet, secretly hoping they’ll forget about it. But they don’t. And then it’s sprinkled liberally on their craft page and the rest of the kitchen table, just for good measure. And good coverage. And just in case you didn’t have enough to clean up.

So back to the question: Is God a fan of glitter? He must be. If you’re a Christian, then the right answer might be that God created glitter, or at least guided the person who created glitter. He must have enabled and at least blessed the creation of said glitter, right?

We won’t know until our time comes.

But for now, let’s enjoy the sparkle. See the world through our kids’ need of a little bit of glitter and fanciness in their life. As long as it makes them happy, what the hey, right?

I’ve been there. We lost my three-year-old son in 2016.

Disbelief was my first and lasting emotion. Sadness had not yet set in because I didn’t understand how it could actually happen. Disbelief.

I mean, really. Seven days prior, we were at home taking pictures because it was dress-up day at school. Then just one short week later, I’m standing in a room full of caskets in the basement of the local funeral home, needing to choose the perfect one for my unbelievably perfect boy.

Almost immediately, there are too many details and decisions facing you … church, funeral home, songs, scriptures, caskets, grave sites, program, flowers, what should he wear to be buried in, visitation and funeral or combined? Day of funeral? And then a reception after? If yes, what will you serve? Who will come? How will you tell people? Do you want a gravesite ceremony? People from out of town... Where will they stay?

And the persistent question that lingers is “Is this even real?”

But it is.

The realness and finality begin to settle in once the busy-ness of that time slows down and you find yourself in the middle of your empty quiet house wondering WHAT NOW? What exactly am I supposed to do NOW? How am I supposed to carry on?

You didn’t ask for this new life. Nor do you deserve it or want it. But you’re stuck and it’s devastating. And you can’t escape it.

I’ve been there. And the hard part is what’s next.

Having to live without your child is debilitating.

And as a special needs mom, you are faced with the reality that the entire purpose and outlook of your life (that you willingly accepted and wanted) is now drastically different. Your son will no longer physically need you for the rest of your life. Your job of lifelong caregiver has been eliminated. 

Days that were once happily filled to the brim with feedings and doctor appointments, therapy visits, stretches, exercises, school meetings, home health visits and medications … are now eerily slower.

What are you supposed to do now?

You will learn the pain of the loss doesn’t go away. It never will.

What will develop over time is the joy of having your child for the length of time that you did. The thankfulness that you ever held him at all. The knowledge and experience you developed as a mom and advocate. The memories that were made. The pride you have for him. And the strength you’ve now gained. You will find your path forward, as I did.

Most of you reading this probably don’t know what the extreme feeling of being lost and hopeless feels like. But if you do, then I feel you. I know what this feels like. But hopefully you have found a place in life where this makes sense.

If you happen to know someone who has lost a child, just know this … your friend still needs you. Their life will never be the same. Yes, they will eventually continue in their new life, even though this doesn’t seem possible at first. Yes, they will eventually be able to smile again, somehow able to cover the immense sadness that will forever exist. Yes, they will be able to participate in the community and keep their family going, even though their home will never be the same.

But, check in on them. Ask how they are doing. Say their child’s name. Show them you remember he or she existed and will be remembered.

The world keeps moving. And bereaved mothers do too.

So to my friend … I know it seems very dark right now. But you will find some light again. 

Originally Posted on Her View From Home.

I think so. We did make the decision a few weeks ago to request ‘in person’ instruction when given the option by the school system … the three choices were ‘in person’, ‘temporary remote’ or ‘virtual academy.’

At the time, I trusted the school system would make the right (and best) decisions for the safety of their students. They wouldn’t bring children into the classrooms if the Covid numbers here were worsening, would they? Of course not. In fact, Covid statistics have been improving over the past few weeks.

But since the school was only accepting 25% of students for in-person, I was confident mine would be in the 75% continuing to e-learn at home. And that made any choice even more comfortable.

But yesterday when I saw their ‘acceptance email’ from the school principal, I started crying like I did on their very first day of Kindergarten four years ago. Just like that day, where I was no longer in control and was placing them in someone else’s care for a few hours, the same will happen again very soon.

I have to trust the school system with the health and safety of my third graders. I also have faith that God will keep them safe. He wouldn’t have another one of my children succumb to a respiratory virus. Or at least I hope he wouldn’t. That would seem unfair.

Sending them to school is the right decision for us. They need it. They need the socialization. They need the structure. They need the proper learning environment. They need their independence. They need a better teacher who has the proper training and more patience.  And someone who understands how to explain spelling rules of English (or anything else) other than just saying, “I don’t know, that’s just how it is.”

But momma needs it too.

I need the normalcy. I need the break. I want time back where I can focus on my books and foundation without feeling guilt as soon as they see I’m in front of my screen. Or feeling so scattered that I can barely think straight or work through my daily to-do list. Or feeling pressure to get out of our house and explore our new city.

Plus did I mention my husband is technically deployed? He’s in another state at Army War College, which is a significant honor. We’re very proud. But he’ll be gone through next June. And we’ve just moved and still in the process of working through house projects and getting settled. It’s been challenging.

As every mom, I just want the best for my babies. I’m just not sure the best is solely what I can provide anymore. They are growing up, and mommy can’t meet all of their needs effectively. Each day makes them a little more independent and that’s okay.

We’ve all done our best, but like most families struggling through this time, we need to get back to feeling a small sense of normalcy. I don’t want to live in fear but choose to live in trust and faith.

We’ll continue to do our part. We’ll wear the masks. We’ll wash our hands. We’ll socially distance where we can. We will be careful, believe me. And we’ll count the days until our lives can be totally normal again.

But until that day, I wish us all the best, all the patience, all the luck, all the things.

-Elizabeth

1.      Outside of a couple of vacations or road-trips, we didn’t spend a ton of time here before we decided to move here (I know, crazy, huh?) So far, it seems like a beachy vacation town – laid back vibe where flip flops and bathing suits are acceptable any day of the week. There are palm trees and sun.A ton of locally-owned shops and restaurants scattered in with the larger ones. And afternoon thunderstorms that seem to come out of nowhere.

2.      There are too many ‘new to us’ places to eat like Jack’s Cosmic Dogs for gourmet hotdogs (fresh cut fries with malt vinegar anyone??) and Mellow Mushroom for (very good) carryout pizza. Or have your morning donuts DELIVERED by Glazed Gourmet Doughnuts of Charleston.

3.      Our neighborhood is a safe place for kids to play, venture from house to house, ride bikes and scooters. It’s what I dreamed of for mine.

4.      There’s a US Postal Service counter at the Sweetgrass Ace Hardware near home.

5.      The doggie daycare has tvs and webcams.

6.      We live 22 minutes to the beach (door to sand). Isle of Palms (also known as IOP) is the closest beach. But we’ve also ventured out to Sullivan’s Island, Edisto and Folly.

7.      Everyone says y’all. And they even spell it out when writing it down (see first sentence).

8.      Speaking of accents, it’s unlikely that anyone here will ask ‘where are you from?’ as soon as they hear me speak, like they did when we lived in the Midwest. The flipside of this is my ‘accent’ will probably get a bit thicker. #LOL

9.      Fresh Seafood. Any time you want it. But honestly, we’ve only had it a handful of times since we’re still doing our part of social-distance. One of those times was at the Acme Lowcountry Kitchen, which was incredibly tasty. We also had takeout from the Long Island Café both on Isle of Palms.

10.   Charleston has always been one of my favorite ‘southern towns’. It’s quaint, yet cultural. Historic yet beachy. Touristy, yet not.

11.   MILD WINTERS – ok, so we just moved here in the middle of summer and have survived through 100+ heat days with 100% humidity .. BUT according to my reputable online sources, the winter temps in say December through February are in the 50s/60s. TOTALLY doable – considering we’re coming from subzero winter temps! Woot!

12.   Outer Banks on Netflix is filmed here – which identifies as a ‘teen show’. CLEARLY, I am out of their target viewer .. but will admit to binging the first season pretty early on in the pandemic, after a friend’s suggestion.

13.   Charleston is or has been home to several beloved celebrities including Bill Murray, Darius Rucker (only the best male voice of all time), Stephen Colbert and Lauren Hutton.  How cool is that?

14.   You can spot an alligator in your neighborhood pond. We haven’t YET.. but I do look each time we drive by. (FYI this should probably also be on my list of things to worry about, but I haven’t written that list yet).

15.   I’d love to volunteer or even have the kids volunteer for Sea Turtle efforts. There are volunteer teams who scour the beaches for evidence of new nests each spring/summer. And then watch over the nests. This would be so interesting!

16.   My kids get to grow up by the coast. This is how I grew up and I’m excited the kids get to have a similar (hopefully better!) experience than I did.

17.   It’s a short 7 hours from my mom’s. (which seems very manageable considering we had to drive 18 or more before we moved) We already have plans to drive up for Thanksgiving!

18.   Palm Trees, Crape Myrtles, Magnolias and Spanish Moss! These speak for themselves. Nothing more to say here.

19.   Fruit is just fresher. I have had so many delicious peaches since we’ve been here. You can’t beat it.

20.   Sunrises and Sunsets are accessible! You can easily take in a sunrise on the beach then later that day head over Shem Creek, Memorial Waterfront Park or Pitt Street Pier to take in the sunset. Can’t be beat!

These are my top 20 so far. If you have others, please comment below and we’ll check them out. Thank for reading and get outside!

Be well,

Elizabeth

 Take a look at my tips on purging, packing and moving!

It was refreshing to be able to leave the sterile safety of our own homes and be confident we can create some cousin-bonding moments and memories they will remember.

Beach Days - GO TO THE BEACH. This is why you’re in the OBX, right? Many of the beaches are so wide, and nowhere near crowded, making it so easy to socially-distance. My kids and niece/nephews spent endless hours playing in the sand, running from the waves, looking for sand fiddlers and collecting seashells. It will never get old.

Pool Days - Luckily our rental house had a private pool. Many of them do, and some houses may have neighborhood pools. Pools again provide endless fun for kids. Each beach day ended with a dip in the pool.

Hatteras Island Horseback Riding - I was hoping for a different yet ‘safe’ outing and found it with Hatteras Island Horseback Riding. For a very reasonable price, you meet Jeff and team at the beach with their two horses for an hour of walking in the surf early in the morning. The horses were very friendly (and so were the ‘handlers’!) and accustomed to the routine, seeming eager to walk with use down the beach … one even started going before we were completely ready (LOL!). The kids loved it and we would highly recommend this to anyone looking for something different and fun to do.

Cape Hatteras Lighthouse - I have visited Hatteras Light so many times before. And for me, it continues to be a ‘must-do’ if you’re the area. The lighthouse itself is closed for the self-guided tour to the top (a mere 257 spiral steps up) for the rest of this season, but it does still provide a great photo opp for the fam. And there are various placards around where you can walk the trails and learn more. I can remember visiting Hatteras as a child and loving to be on the beach with the lighthouse peacefully overlooking the water. Did you the know Cape Hatteras Light was moved 2900feet back in 1999? When it was originally built in the 1850s, it was constructed 1500 feet from the shore. Over the decades that distance lessened thanks to the many storms and beach erosion. To keep the lighthouse safe, over the course of several years, they devised a plan to move the lighthouse more inland using a track and pulley system. You can learn more here.

Day-Use Area - sometimes the ocean can be a bit rough for smaller kids so fortunately we found out about the many day-use areas on the soundside, offering sandy beaches, calm and shallow sound waters, and convenient parking and restrooms. On two different days, we went the Haulover Day Use area because it offered a larger beach area than some. Being near shallows, can give parents a bit of time to relax without having to watch the kids like a hawk.

Ocracoke Island Day Trip & Ferry - Full disclosure … we did not get to visit Ocracoke. It IS an island and only accessible by ferry. The day we planned to go, they enacted an evacuation plan and were limiting visitors to the island. Ferry was one-way only (off the island). However, normally, there is a car ferry option for $15 making it easy to social-distance. Taking your own car allows you to drive around, see the different areas and keep to yourself as needed. It has been many, many years since I’ve been to Ocracoke and I was hoping to go. Oh well, there’s always next year.

Hatteras Sol Waterside Grill - For me, eating out on vacation can be a highlight .. but in today’s world, it’s obviously difficult. Many restaurants have found a way to provide service while following CDC guidelines. Some do takeout, some set-up outdoor seating, some limit indoor service to half-capacity. For our family, we were most comfortable sitting outside. Hatteras Sol offered a takeout ‘serve yourself’ and eat outside option. This is what we chose to do although there was a wait to be served inside. The food was great (get the daily special!), customer service (that we experienced) was friendly. They had live music on the outdoor deck and there was a nice breeze by the dock.

Take in a Sunset - If you’re on the Outer Banks then you have access to both sunrise/east (ocean) and sunset/west (soundside) views. Take them in! We caught a couple of sunsets and watched the sun kiss the edge of the sound as it said goodnight. Lighting is awesome and makes for some great photos!

Whatever you’re family is planning for vacation this year, I hope it is as fun and relaxing as ours was. Get out there and enjoy the time we have together!

I held onto a couple that I knew I wanted to refinish. One was for my son. It was a mid-century Kent Coffey dresser solidly made in the 1960s. A highboy style that was still in great condition and just needed a few touch-ups.

When looking for furniture to refinish, I considered a few things.

1. manufacturer or name of brand - is it well-known, one that would be appealing for resale

2. condition of piece - is it solid, do drawers work well and slide easily? If there is veneer (most do) what is the condition?

3. solid construction and is it solid wood - dovetail, drawer glides,

4. purchase price - if you are planning to refinish and flip, then this is important because you will want to make sure you make a profit after supplies and time.

And if you read this post, then you know that we recently moved from Illinois to South Carolina. As part of the move and to get them excited, I promised the kids new beds for their bedrooms. I also thought it would be a great time to (finally) refinish the dresser for Colin. So we packed it up in our UHaul and brought it down with us. Since Colin didn’t have a dresser for his clothes, I needed to refinish it pretty quickly once we arrived.

This was a challenge in itself because it can take several days to really refinish a piece properly. I lucked out in that the dresser was in pretty good condition and only needed a few touch-ups to the veneers.

The first step in refinishing a dresser is to clean it well - get the dust, debris and cobwebs off. You will want to turn it on it’s side and make sure to clean the underneath also. But sometimes, I will wait to give it a good scrub AFTER I the sanding step since this can create a ton of dust.

Next step is to decide what you want to do to it - if you’re new to refinishing, you will want to play around with different styles, colors, techniques. If you’re like me, then you already have an approach that you like. Most of my pieces usually are a combination of paint and wood stain. And what you paint or stain may be determined by the condition of a piece. For example, if there is a significant amount of veneer repair, they you will most likely want to repair, prime, then paint. If it’s a piece that will get a ton of use, you may want to stain and seal the surface as it can be more durable over time than paint.

For this one, I knew I wanted a dark blue dresser (my son’s request). The drawers were also in pretty good shape, so I would sand down then stain the drawers to give it that contrast I like.

Once all is sanded and cleaned, I usually try to prime with a stain-blocker. Many times, wood will have oils that seep through and discolor the paint if not treated appropriately (speaking from experience … my daughters painted white shelf is streaky yellow in some spots).

Sand the primer. Wipe it down.

Add the first coat of paint.

Since this was hand-painted, there were brush marks. Try to sand lightly with a 220 or 320 grit paper (very fine) to remove more noticeable marks. Wipe it off to remove dust. Add the second coat.

I always try to plan the process so I can work on drawers while body is drying or vice versa. Especially if you want to complete a project quickly, as I did with this dresser.

Follow the same steps with the drawers. You will need a circular sander. I usually start with a heavier grit to more easily remove the top layers of coating and stain. Then work your way to a finer grit right before applying the stain. Once the first coat of stain dries, apply a second coat to get your desired level of color. Let that dry then add your sealant such as polycrylic or polyurethane. For this one, I went with Polycrylic simply for drying time - it’s water-based and dries a bit more quickly than the oil-based polyurethane.

Once the drawers are done, you can screw on the hardware. The drawers had existing ‘custom’ holes in the dresser (it had holes drilled that did not fit standard pull size.) I had to find new hardware that would disguise or hide the original holes. Colin helped putting on his new hardware - here is where I would typically show a picture of him helping… but I can’t find the ones I took. They must have been accidentally deleted. OOPS. He was THRILLED to help though.

BIG misstep with this dresser -

1. I kept the dresser in our garage under the house (we have an elevated home) - it’s not very enclosed and is definitely not climate-controlled. As it’s very humid in South Carolina, the wood and drawers absorbed moisture and swelled! The drawers worked fine and glided smoothly BEFORE I started the project. After I removed the drawers, painted the body and stained the drawers, they would NOT go back in the dresser. OOPS. What was I to do? I quickly realized the issue with humidity and found out that wood will also absorb additional moisture with water-based paint. So painted furniture naturally expands (I didn’t know this). We brought the dresser into the AC. I sanded the edges of the drawers a bit and let it sit in the AC for a couple of days. After some sanding and some sitting, the drawers fit in perfectly.

I don’t even remember where or when I decided to explore this side of myself. But I have always been a creative-minded person who doesn’t shy away from a challenge or project. It started with an old buffet that fit into the back of our Honda minivan. We brought it home and I then watched a few how-to videos, read a few blogs, joined a few Facebook groups …. then sat in my garage, sanding, staining, painting. Every single night.

I started looking for old furniture nonstop. It became an obsession. I drove all over to pick it up. I was even known to stop and inspect discarded furniture on the side of the road, thrown out as someone else’s trash. Sometimes these were the best finds, simply because they were FREE. And maybe just maybe, it would be worth something and I could bring it back to life. The minivan that once was solely used for my three babies, had now become a frequent furniture hauler.

It was summer 2016. And Ava and Colin were getting to the age where midday napping was rough. They would be tired but would fight any and all naps. However, they would consistently fall asleep in the car. Attempting to outsmart them, my furniture pickups were then always planned for midday, ensuring they got in that day’s nap.

I turned this new hobby into a (very small) business. I started a facebook page called Butterfly Vintage Designs, sold some pieces, took on a few commissions where someone hires you for a specific piece because they like your work. It helped me to heal .. if just a bit. It helped to pass the long, intolerable nights, when my focus in the past had to be my Benjamin, the one with medical needs and unstable sleeps. And there was even a bit of satisfaction in completing a furniture piece and selling it, someone else wanting my creation.

I suddenly owned saws and sanders and was very comfortable with a drill in my hand. My garage had become my workshop, along with our dining room and kitchen. We were regularly stepping around dressers, doors and drawers. I would have fun choosing the best knobs or pulls. Paint color. Stain color. It was tedious yet satisfying to see what I could create with a bit of imagination, time and effort.

Summer turned to fall then winter and it was much colder in the garage. I still sat out there next to my portable space heater sanding away and dreaming up new ways to refurbish, new painting techniques or styles. My favorite style, where I always landed, was a combination of stain and paint. Many times, I would sand and stain the surface and paint the body. Or stain the drawers/doors and paint the rest for contrast. It’s where I liked to stay or it became my signature ‘look’ one might say.

My bargain finds and old unfinished pieces had taken over my garage and even expanded into a nearby storage unit. I was acquiring them much faster than I could flip them. Sales were sometimes slow which could be a bit discouraging. I slowed down. Stopped buying furniture. And even after a long while, purged the unfinished pieces that I hadn’t spent any time with yet. I wanted to be able to park in my garage again.

Eventually, instead of furniture, my new outlet had become the Ben’s Adventures children’s books. Again, I created something that helped to process my grief and give meaning to it. It became even more healing, honoring my son and remembering him in this way. I’m still finding myself, over four years later. But I credit the furniture with helping get me through the earliest, roughest, most raw time of grief. I have slowed in those projects lately, but who knows? I’m sure I’ll find a new piece to inspire me.

If you’ve read my recent blog posts, you know that we just moved from Chicago suburbs to Mount Pleasant, SC (Charleston area). During our clean out and purge of our last home, I got rid of all old furniture I had been hanging onto. Except for this one piece. It was an old Kent Coffey dresser. I promised my son Colin I would do a dresser for him but just didn’t have it in me yet. Well, somehow amidst all the chaos of moving and unpacking, I found a couple of days to ‘bust out’ this rehabbed dresser for his new bedroom once we got here. Fortunately it was in pretty good shape. And he was VERY excited about it. I did cut a couple of corners and stumble a bit in the process. But he was satisfied with the end result. And so was I. Maybe I will pick it up again, once we’re a bit more settled in our new life and routine.

The first time I moved was 2008 when my company moved me from Virginia to Chicago. I had movers who handled the loading and unloading. I did have to pack a bit … but they helped with that as well. The second time I moved, we only lived in a one-bedroom condo in Chicago so there wasn’t a ton to worry about. I did have infant triplets at the time but was still able to help with boxing. That time, we also had movers who helped load and unload.

We are in the process of relocating our family from Chicago suburbs to coastal South Carolina. Here are tips that will make your prep and pack work much easier:

1.      Use your towels and washcloths to secure/pack breakables in boxes. You have to pack those towels anyway, so may as well put them to use and save $ in the process. And the washcloths are the perfect size to put in between plates. This will minimize your need for bubble wrap, extra padding, or Styrofoam peanuts.

2.      Pack your frames in between throw pillows. Another tactic to cushion important breakables and frames – we haven’t actually unpacked yet but my frames were pretty secure and I felt good about this.

3.      Put lamps or vases or other décor items in between your clothes in wardrobe box. If you’re using wardrobe boxes, a great way to maximize packing space is to put your floor vases or lamps (or anything else that will fit) in between your clothes. This makes use of the space at the bottom of the box, and also uses your clothes as padding!

4.      Reuse Smaller Amazon Boxes to hold serving dishes when packing in larger boxes. If you’re like us, we always have Amazon boxes in varying sizes laying around. The flatter rectangle ones are the PERFECT size for various serving or baking dishes. Pack an individual dish maybe with a few smaller utensils or other items, then pack this box inside a larger box. This way there is no need to worry about bubble wrap, paper or Styrofoam peanuts.

5.      Organize what you’re packing as you’re packing it. There are probably different approaches in the overall packing strategy but what I think works well is to organize by type or item. For example, we are moving from a home with four bathrooms into a home with 2.5. So it doesn’t make sense to organize boxes as Bathroom 1, Bathroom 2, etc. Instead of packing each room individually, collect all same-type items and pack together. All of the toothpastes, new toothbrushes, nail clippers, Kleenex supply … go around collect them all, organize and pack together. All of the random things that end up in every bathroom drawer…. You know what I’m talking about. Same with towels. Same with extra toilet paper or paper products. Same with books. Same with throw pillows (see above for how to best utilize these), frames and other décor. Same with cleaning products. (TIP: use Gallon size baggies to keep all the smaller extra stuff contained).

6.      Paying more for professional movers may be worth it to you to reduce the stress and anxiety. You will want to shop around and find the best solution for your family and situation. In planning our move, we compared quotes from professional movers, PODS and Uhaul. My husband REALLY wanted to do the move himself to save $$$. For us, it was an estimated savings of about $3000. A professional mover made him nervous because of potential hidden costs at the end. When quoting with a professional mover, they will ask you for an itemized list of your items (how many lamps, furniture descriptions and sizes, number of small, medium, large boxes, etc). It’s difficult to be accurate here … especially if you haven’t finished your packing. Be aware that their initial moving estimate will be a ‘ballpark’. Be careful, because you don’t want to be surprised when you see their final invoice AFTER the move.

7.      Move during off-season months if you’re able. Summer is prime moving season, after the school year ends and before the new one begins. We moved at the end of June and prime season means premium prices. If you have the flexibility, plan your move during the off months. This will save significant $ in the long-run.

8.      Purge, Purge, and Purge some more. If you didn’t remember you had an item; or hadn’t seen it in months/years; or knew you had it but still haven’t used it…. Get rid of it. You can donate to Goodwill or Salvation Army, but I’m sure there are also local organizations or churches that will take your donations and pass them on to loving families.

9.      Find that organization that will PICK UP your donations. There are many non-profits that have a certain day of week designated for pickups. Schedule it ahead of time and remember to bring your donations to the yard. American Veterans is one. American Cancer Society is another. It’s convenient for you AND supports awesome organizations in the process.

OKAY… so now that you’ve read the ‘tips’ that were truly written BEFORE we started loading the truck and emptying the house, here is the real deal:

You will need a bigger truck, even if you think you won’t… YOU WILL. Either we grossly underestimated or are just horrible packers. But we needed way more space than we arranged. Fortunately, we had decided to move ourselves (didn’t use professional movers), so could be flexible in our days and used 2-3 days to load the 26’ moving truck. After the truck was full, we still had ‘stuff’. Uhaul now offers their version of PODS .. U-Boxes. They will deliver, pickup and ship the boxes. It can be pricey but is also an option if you need more shipping space. We ultimately ended up with FOUR U-Boxes in addition to the 26’ moving truck!

You will lose a glass or two. And maybe a lamp. Even though you spent many hours packing and padding all of those breakables, something will still break. During our move, this is what was broken: a wine glass, a picture frame, a marble vase and a lamp was bent. And there were a couple of dings on painted furniture pieces. Just chalk it up to … you should’ve used an extra washcloth.

You will purge some more as you’re unpacking. We are still unpacking, and I’ve already made a trip to the local Good Will to drop off donations. I realized I really don’t need that sweater than I haven’t worn in years. And that throw pillow or miscellaneous wall hanging don’t really fit in my new place. Get it out of the way.

Be flexible in your ‘plans’ – apparently schedules and dates don’t really mean anything when moving. Because we were moving ourselves, we COULD be flexible. Our original schedule had us leaving our house on a Friday, but we moved back a day and left on Saturday. And if you are selling your home and are able to allow yourself a few days of extra padding before you close, DO IT. We weren’t closing on our house for another week.

Moving is stressful. It’s physically hard. It’s mentally hard. It’s hard on families. But with planning, purging and proper packing … it can be a fun time. We ended up in Charleston, SC and look forward to making new friends and getting to know the area. Wherever YOU are headed, good luck in your move!

Be well,

Elizabeth

For a couple of years, we’ve talked about moving to the east coast. Let’s just say … every time we take a vacation there or travel back home. It re-enters our conversation and we start looking at real estate. At vacation homes. At the potential of purchasing. Wanting to know what we can get for our $.

We have talked about it… but then I start to think about the change our children would endure being removed from the only school, community and friends they’ve ever known. And leaving our beloved late son Benjamin behind. Inevitably I get scared because it’s much easier to stay the course and not make a move or take a chance, entering into the unknown. Every time, the talk of relocating would slowly calm and lessen, moving again to the back burner of our life.

Except for this time.

There have been many reasons to move. The weather. The taxes. The cost of living. The Midwest. Our lack of a support system. But only one to really stay. Benjamin.

I can’t yet think about driving away from here on that final day. I don’t know how and if I’ll be able to do it. And when I think about it now, I simply break down. This was Ben’s only home. He is in every room. He played here. He laughed here. He cried here. His bedroom is here. And I can’t imagine leaving him behind.

But life is about choices. And I choose to live for the family here with us. I want to make decisions that are progress, not a holding pattern in an attempt at happiness. I want to live, not just exist. I recently read an article that said if “parents are okay and happy, their children will be okay and happy.” Even with all external factors, children are most affected by the health and love of their parents. I want to feel okay for the sake of my children. We need a change of scenery and a new adventure.

Answering the Questions:

What about work? We are figuring this out and taking a risk. The good news is Rob can continue his army reserves career from anywhere. AND he has been selected for Army War College which begins in July, giving him a full-time salary through next year. And Sears? Well, who knows what will happen with Sears but with the economic changes and downturns the past few weeks, its future does not look bright. And for me, I have a marketing background and my plan is to consult or find part-time work that allows me to work from home, while still managing Ben’s Adventures and Ben Smiles.

When? Very good question – sooner rather than later. We have been tackling projects over the past couple of months in preparation for our house to go on the market. Our realtor suggested listing on the Private Listing Network, available only to realtors. It’s like an ‘fyi’ on what’s coming soon. Within four days of being on the PLN, we had an offer … but with a “contingency”, meaning the buyer needs to also sell their house. But at this point, they still do not have an offer with just six days to go. We have continued showings and our plan is to list on the MLS next week. In all honesty, our house has never looked cleaner! It is really a nice house, and my only hope is we can find a family who will love it as much as we do.

Will the kids miss their friends? YES, obviously. I will miss the friends we’ve made and the activities we do. However, the kids are excited about the idea of moving. And I think this is where COVID has helped: Sheltering-in-Place has removed us from the usual routine. Relocating amid this will be less abrupt and jarring for them…maybe. It gives us something to look forward to. Something to be excited about. The kids have been helping me look at houses online, look at neighborhoods, and what I have come to find out … Ava has expensive tastes just like her mother! Colin talks about his ‘new school’ and wants its name to be one word like ‘Munhall’ so he can remember and pronounce it. LOL. I think they will be okay and adjust. Several people have mentioned how resilient children are and I think so too.

Where are we headed? Only the best city in the US… Charleston, SC. Or more specifically Mount Pleasant which is just over the bridge. We have visited the Charleston area a few times and really love it. It has history and culture, good food, sweet tea, beach, salt air and palm trees, and a very highly rated school district. And WARM weather – PS, the low temperature in January is in the 40s/50s … I’ll take it, especially as I’m facing this next winter as a ‘single mom’ again while Rob is at school.

But what if our house doesn’t sell? I think about this one every day. I guess we will stay here. That’s the answer.

To state that I’m nervous is an understatement. I’m anxious and on edge. Stressed and second-guessing if this is the right decision. I think it is. I’m originally from Virginia and all my family is on the east coast. And I’ve always said I don’t want to ‘live here forever.’ Now is the time to make a change and take a risk.

Wish us luck.

When children are this young, it’s important to continue to talk about their loved one and keep them present. Emphasize the memories a child may hold. Keep photos around the home. Share funny or sweet stories about their loved ones. Look at videos if they are available. And openly recognize and honor their emotions and reactions, whatever they may be.

In our household my children were so young when Benjamin died, I’m not sure they have any solid memories of their brother .. other than the videos we continue to watch and the photos we have around the house that have slowly formed into their memories. They know they have a brother and they know they are triplets. And they know that Benjamin is in Heaven with Jesus.

Luckily, many people offered books and gave us books on grief and heaven. My favorites are below. I hope you can find some solace in these beautiful books.

 THE NEXT PLACE by Warren Hanson – this is a beautifully-written and beautifully-illustrated book about what comes ‘next’. Where do we go? I LOVE this one. Click here to see the book on Amazon.

THE INVISIBLE STRING by Patrice Karst – This lovely book illustrates the concept that we are all connected by an invisible string. It’s a reassuring and comforting thought and is a reminder that we are still connected to our loved ones who aren’t here any longer.  Available on Amazon.

WHEREVER YOU ARE MY LOVE WILL FIND YOU by Nancy Tillman — I LOVE all of Nancy Tillman’s books. They are so heartfelt yet simple and beautifully-illustrated. I especially loved this one and so many passages truly spoke to me after my son’s passing.

On Amazon Here.

THE MEMORY BOX by Joanna Rowland – This heartfelt book is from a young child’s point of view as they are remembering a loved one who is no longer with her. She collects old memories and creates new ones to include in the memory box. Available on Amazon here.

SAD ABOUT SAMMY By Valette Sopp and Tonya Southwick — Sad About Sammy serves as a good guidebook for parents as well as a tool to understanding emotions for your children. It provides tips for parents on how to discuss and questions to ask young kids, and also centers around a metaphor for children to think about death as the transition of a caterpillar to a butterfly. Available on Amazon here.

A HUG FROM HEAVEN by Anna Whiston-Donaldson – this sweet book is a lyrical poem written from the point of view of the loved one who passed away, reminding you that it’s okay to feel sad. Sadness is a natural emotion but reassuring that they will always be around. Available on Amazon here.

GOD GAVE US HEAVEN by Lisa Bergren — This faith-based book is a conversation between a father and son as dad explains to his son what Heaven looks like. And how Heaven is the most beautiful place, unlike anything we’ve ever seen. Available on Amazon here.

These are all wonderful books that helped my children when they lost their brother. They’ll allow you to introduce death in your family, opening the door for important and honest conversations. Good luck to you.

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Thank you for reading.