writing chapter three | life & times of a family.

Kitchen Credit

2013-05-23T14:04:00.005-04:00

Can't forget to credit my baking-buddy for helping me with the Cheesy Old Bay Biscuits!

I want to write a lot more about toddlers + baking + in general. But I'm waiting for Ada to wake from her nap so we can go back to the doctor. Again. For the third time since last Friday. This morning Ada woke -- it's day 4 of this fever -- and her temperature still is holding. Not quite as high, thank goodness, but now she has a rash. Just to be safe, we're getting checked out.

Please make this end for her soon, universe.

What I will say is that she's a trooper. Not been feeling the best on the medicines, but was much cheerier this morning, which is a good sign. We baked biscuits yesterday and I think being in the kitchen is one of her favorite things. I usually give her a few spoons or flour-caked measuring cups I'm done with and let her stand next to me on a dining room chair.

I hear a lot of "whassssthaaa?" So, I like to explain what I'm doing to her and then lower the bowl or whatever else to her level so she can see what I'm doing. It's so much fun. She loves trying to crack eggs and whisking most of all.

I think simple recipes are best (of course they are -- but REALLY with a toddler, no mixing or other equipment = less chance for mishaps). I hope to pass on to her my love for all things food. It would be a fantastic bond we could carry with us through holiday meals and the like for years and years to come.

Do you cook or bake with your little ones?

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More Words About Nursing

2013-05-22T13:26:00.001-04:00

Weaning was a relatively easy process for us. It was completed a little over a month ago with Ada's last feeding before bed. And we haven't looked backed since. Of course, there have been times when I've felt nostalgic and even teary about it being OVER (which feels quite dramatic because it sort of, well, WAS, omgyouguys), but I've mostly felt relieved at having slightly less responsibility + tied-down-ness.

Freedom.
Liberation.

Until Ada got sick with her sinus infection. I moaned about her scary 103.9 fever. That was nothing compared to yesterday's 104.5, which is actually a radio station around these parts, so at least there was some comic relief before I burst out in tears, frantically dousing Ada with tepid water are she screamed and shivered having been ripped from bed only seconds after waking.

*sings* One-oh-four-point-FIVE . . .

Stephen stayed home with me yesterday because the last three weeks have taken their toll, and I'm now at this point where I can't remember not being worried and stressed about something. I know it will pass, as most things tend to do, but it was nice having some company anyway. Having daddy around changes the dynamic in a good way. Plus, it's someone else to help measure out all the medicines we're giving Ada to keep her calm, cool, and getting better.

Today Ada seems on the mend + this post is about nursing, not sickness. You see, Ada climbed onto my lap yesterday on three separate occasions. She looked straight into my eyes, which isn't entirely a "normal" thing that she does because she's always so preoccupied. She then affectionately patted my chest, and hugged me. All while repeating "momma, momma" in the sweetest tone I've ever heard.

It didn't take me any time at all to know exactly what she was asking for. Comfort. She wanted to nurse. For the first time in over a month, but she was remembering that nursing was always her happy, safe, warm place. And I honestly wasn't prepared for how I'd feel knowing I can not longer give her that fundamental feeling of security.

So, I hugged her, rubbed her tiny back, and cuddled as long as she needed. Which wasn't really very long at all because despite being sick + terrifying me with her fever acrobatics, she's pretty much acting like her happy self. Despite some horrible bouts of whiney-ness, that is. I told her that mommy loves her and she seemed satisfied with that response to her pleading.

But then she did it twice more later in the day, so it was actually quite heartbreaking and got my mind off on all these different roads: Did we wean too soon? Is it even physically possible for me to breastfeed right now? Why would I even be entertaining that idea? Would Ada get better faster if she was still nursing?

So, yeah. I don't know what my point is. I just wasn't expecting it. It threw me for a loop. I felt a nice punch in the gut of mommy-guilt and promptly got over it. I suppose I'm wondering if any of you other moms ever experienced anything like this.

What did you do? How did it make you feel?

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Lately

2013-05-20T17:21:00.002-04:00

This is the sort of post that happens when your day is turned upside down because your toddler's temperature is suddenly 103.9 F. (We've been to the doctor and it's a sinus infection + the healing process has begun, thank goodness.) I swear I couldn't make up the chain of events in the last several weeks if I tried.

Here are some good things that have been happening.
(Complete with obnoxious and inconsistent Instagram filters.)

My brother came up to help while my dad was in the hospital. It was nice to see him because he lives all the way in DC. My dad is finally out of the hospital and will continue his recovery at home. Thank you for all your kind words and prayers.

My MIL and FIL gave me plants for Mother's Day. We planted the succulent garden together (also I found a steal on succulent plants via Amazon!) and the herb garden will be a nice addition to our patio.

Also, those leopard Crocs I told you about? I love them. Call Stacy + Clinton!

Stephen and I went out to dinner together last weekend. Got dressed up and everything! Well, I didn't wear any makeup, but there's nothing new there. Anyway, we need more dates. It was a fantastic time.

As much as we like going out on the town with Ada, adults-only time is really important when we can get it. Thanks to the grandparents for babysitting!

Ada + the outdoors = mad love affair. We caved and bought a few things we think she (and her someday-siblings) will enjoy for years to come. The Little Tikes basketball hoop (which is cool because it can grow with your child) because Stephen likes to play with it more than Ada.

And after hunting around for a nice + gently used playhouse, we found a deal on this Step 2 Neat & Tidy Playhouse. Of anything we've ever tried her on, this playhouse is totally keeping her attention like crazy. Which I'm thankful for because otherwise she's running out into the front yard and street.

Yesterday Stephen and I ran 6 miles with the jogging stroller. Ada's shoe-less because she kept throwing them out and at one point I tripped and imagined it was a squirrel or something. Bad news. Also: We hit up the opening of our town's new local running shop smack in the middle of our route. Which is next to a yogurt place. Oh, the joy I can't even describe.

We traded off who pushed and, despite her increased weight since last year, I'm finding stroller running much easier. We maintained 8:20/mile pace and I could see myself doing some longer jaunts with Ada in the near future.

So, you can see it isn't ALL bad over here. But I'm off to make dinner and get caught up on things that have to go by the wayside when you're rushing around to fit yet another doctor appointment into the schedule.

Ada's a trooper and she's already looking much better. I just can't take those numbers on the thermometer. Terrifying!

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18 Month Update

2013-05-17T12:46:00.001-04:00

Ada had her 18 month appointment this morning. I know a lot of kids get upset about going to the doctor, but I always dread our visits because Ada has this crazy aversion ever since she had an ultrasound for her macrochephaly. And when we thought she swallowed a battery and had to take her to the ER -- well -- that X-ray solidified her hatred even more.

Thankfully this was just a routine visit + no shots on the schedule.

18 MONTH STATS

Height: 65th percentile, 32 inches
Weight: 15th percentile, 21 pounds, 8 ounces
Head: Even more off the charts, 19-3/4 inches, which I'll get to in a minute
Naps: 1, usually at 12PM to 2 PM for 2 hours
Breastfeeding: Weaned at 17 months exactly
Milk: Organic Whole Milk
Bedtime: 7:30, sleeps 12 hours most nights.

Favorite foods:
Tofu, beans, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, peanut butter, plain pasta, falafel, Goldfish, and peanut butter "cookies"

Dislikes:
Cheese, bread, sandwiches or assembled food of any kind, milk + eggs depending on the day

New words/phrases:
She says too many words to count now. Favorites are puppy, tractor, choo-choo, three, eggie, outside, and night-night. She also chimes in during the ABC song with D, G, P, S, V, X, and Z and sings the song to herself all the time. It's adorable.

Also notable is that she started using articles, like saying "A puppy" or "A tractor" when pointing things out. She has a few sentences, but still pretty basic like "Hi, Rivey!" to the cat or "Bye bye, GG" to her grandma. She has said "It's a fill-in-the-blank" a few times when we've asked what something is.

She can also count to three. How did this happen so fast?!

Favorite things:
Curious George, Play-Dough, her balance bike (though she's still a bit too small, she likes to ring the bell), play-dates + story time, offering her stuffed animals water, playing with her Yo Gabba Gabba dolls in my old playhouse.

Most of all: Being OUTSIDE! She would live out there if she could. So, I take her out all the time. We take walks in the stroller, go down to the park, and mostly just play in the backyard. Her favorite things to do outside are listen to our wind chimes, pull up dandelions, and dig in the dirt. Oh, and every Wednesday she loves watching the garbage and recycling trucks.

Yup. She's pretty fun these days.

I mentioned that Ada's head is still a concern. After her 15 month appointment I thought we were in the clear. But it's increased enough that we actually are waiting on an appointment with a children's hospital an hour away to get an MRI scan. Ada will have to be sedated for the procedure, and -- along with everything else that's been going on lately -- I just started crying at the doctor office this morning.

When I say Ada has hospital anxiety, I don't mean this lightly. The doctor confirmed that she's a ~~little~~ LOT more sensitive than other kids in this regard. So, having testing will be very difficult . . . on all of us. I wish she didn't need to be sedated, but I know that if we tried it without, it simply wouldn't work. Her doctor and I both agreed on this.

So, I guess for now I'm trying my best not to worry, chat with Dr. Google, and just hope somehow she inherited my dad's big head. As much as I'm dreading the whole thing, I'll be happy to put my concerns to rest once we can finally know something more.

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What Labor Feels Like

2013-05-15T12:40:00.001-04:00

Have you guys seen this video of men experiencing (simulated) labor pains?

It's so weird. Labor. Delivery. I remember it like it was yesterday, but the actual feelings and sensations have definitely dulled over time. I know it hurt like hell. And this might sound super strange, but I feel like I remember the absolute worst of it more in colors.

Like the most intense parts? I just see WHITE.

OK. That is a strange way to explain what labor feels like. And I know labor + delivery took a while, but I was so inside myself, when I think back to that day, it's difficult to quantify. It started in the morning . . . and before I knew it, I was at the hospital almost fully dilated and effaced.

When I read back on my birth story (part 1 + part 2), I quickly discover how my memory has faded.

So, when my friends pregnant with baby number 1 ask me: "What did labor feel like?" question, I get sort of stumped. I've received this question from readers, too. So, I thought it might be fun to post about it.

The best way I can describe what labor feels like, if I really, really, really reach back and remember? I suppose for me it started with intestinal cramps. The kind you get when you have really bad diarrhea. The kind that make you double over . . . and you might not realize you're actually in labor because it's not a sensation you haven't felt before. It's just unpleasant. But when you try to go to the bathroom and nothing happens, well, they might get worse.

And you're in labor. Those feelings get closer together and you really notice a really intense tightening along with them. Like a vice grip over your entire mid-section. It takes your breath away, but comes + goes.

All the while, though, it's nothing you haven't really felt before . . . it's just a lot of the worst, all at the same time if that makes sense. I suppose the scariest part for me with going into labor was this PAIN everyone talked about. How it's like nothing they had experienced before.

I promise you if you choose a med-free delivery, it is going to be painful. I can't debunk those orgasmic births that I've read about . . . but if you are a woman who had an orgasm during birth, I'd like to chat with you. Thing is, that pain that everyone talks about being so horrific? It's not THAT bad. It's manageable if you can just give in to it.

At least for me, giving in meant not having lots of people in the room. Instead, I wanted to be alone. Rocking back and forth, shower water pelting my lower back, and getting inside my head helped. Watching those baby shows my whole pregnancy made me feel like I should be some fantastic host, smiling my way through contractions while my second cousin goes out and gets the family pizza to feast on at my bedside.

Not like that. At all. And just when those intestinal cramps and the tightenings start to get too much. Just when you think you need to give up, you realize that you're likely almost there. Delivery for me didn't really hurt more than labor, it was just different. It was almost relief because I knew it would be over soon.

But I'm just focusing on labor. That's what labor felt like to me: Really wicked bad intestinal/period cramps and tightness like being in a vice grip.

What did it feel like for you? If you had to sum up the pain in a sentence or two?

(Thank you so much for all your kind words about my family + health issues + bad mother's days + the like. My dad is still in the hospital, but life is getting somewhat back to normal. We're looking forward to a recovery and just getting back into the normal swing of things. You are all wonderful and I'm so happy to "know" you.)

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Mother's Day

2013-05-13T12:34:00.003-04:00

Do you ever feel like everyone is having an exceptional day except you?

My Mother's Day was terrible. I actually had to completely disconnect from Facebook + Twitter + Instagram all day because the happy photos and stories streaming in were making me angry. It feels good to get that out there. Compared to eating breakfast in bed, picking colorful flowers, frolicking in a sunny park, and dressing up for cute photos with my child . . . my day sucked. Even for a normal Sunday.

Forced smiles as Ada squirms out of my arms.

I hope you understand this blog isn't taking a turn for the rant/vent side of the internets. It's just a rough patch, I promise you. Without going into too much detail, my dad has been in the hospital for a solid week + will continue to stay there for at least another. The back + forth is draining. And then I got a call early Sunday morning that my family's (parents') dog's legs stopped working and we had to rush him to the vet and, shortly after, put him down.

Sid's departure sort of consumed the day with sadness. In my almost-30 years, I've never had to help make that decision. Then my mom started getting some health issues of her own and, as of this morning, BOTH of my parents were in the hospital, though my mom is much better and is being discharged soon. My brother lives 6 hours away, so I've been a bit on my own with all this mess.

Not that I'm really complaining. It's just, well, a load of stress.

So, I don't have a recap about how fantastically magical my weekend was this week. I made a tasty dessert that I posted on (never)homemaker this morning. I got a new pair of shoes I've been eying for months. Stephen and I had a date-night complete with dinner and drinks. My mother-in-law stayed with me all last week to help out, which was great, and we planted a succulent garden I hope to write about soon.

We did sneak out for a late brunch. Though my eggs were horribly over-cooked (which wouldn't matter much, except they were poached and my absolute favorite usually), that mimosa really hit the spot. Ada was an absolute doll yesterday, too. I love her so much. Yea. It hasn't all been bad, but -- holy moly -- when it rains it pours.

And today it's actually SNOWING, but I'm hesitant to add that to my list of concerns.

OK. I just slapped myself in the face. Well, figuratively, but maybe I'll actually do it for good measure. There. Ouch. If you had a glorious mother's day, please know that I'm over my bad attitude and I'm genuinely happy for you!

I'm thinking a rain (snow?) date is in order over here.

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18 Months

2013-05-10T12:04:00.001-04:00

Ada's just a few days short of her 1.5 year birthday. And Mother's Day is this weekend (not that I need to remind you all -- it's a very important day!). So, I thought a nice gift to myself would be some photos in the backyard. It's sort of our tradition at milestones like these.

I'm surprised how far a $2 Salvation Army dress and fabric remnant "headband" I got off some Etsy order packaging went with the backdrop of our beautiful forsythia.

What are your plans for Mother's Day? I'd like to see The Great Gatsby, maybe have a dinner out sans toddler, and start on a few of our house projects.

What we were doing last year at this time: Mother's Day. Ada at 6 months.

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Babywearing + Toddlers

2013-05-08T10:14:00.000-04:00

These days, it seems like Ada just can't be tamed. In a good way. She's my little exploring gymnast and finds herself in all sorts of places and situations. Some of them fun, like doing a downward dog in the dirt patch we'll someday call a garden. Some of them scary, like testing the limits by using the couch cushions as a balance beam.

When we're out and about, we often use our Chicco umbrella stroller. We got into the habit when we were in NYC. Thing is, she's not content sitting there for very long. She pulls off her shoes or lurches forward if we stop for any amount of time. The jogging stroller struggles of last year are a thing of the past, which is great for working out (here's some jogging stroller workouts, by the way!), but that thing is a bear to lug around on errands.

So, I'm still wearing Ada whenever possible.

Not that many aren't this same way, but I'd classify Ada as the can't-ever-sit-still type. People at story hours and other activities always marvel at how she just doesn't stop moving for ANYthing. So, it's surprising that she still relishes the body-to-body contact we get by using the carrier.

I'd say the front-carry days ended around her first birthday. Not necessarily because she doesn't enjoy it (when she's sick or sad, it's a nice cuddle position we use at home), but mostly because she's tall + heavier now. It's still comfortable walking that way, but bending over when grocery shopping, for example, is tricky.

So, we back-carry.

I love that my Beco carrier (I have the Butterfly II, which I think might be discontinued?) allows both front and back carry options because I've gotten great use out of just the one carrier. I must say for future children, I'm tempted by the hip-carry option available with the Beco Gemini. Overall, though, back has been our go-to position.

I also use the Moby Wrap from time to time, which I feel like a lot of people say doesn't work past infancy, but I'd say isn't the case at all. True, it's a bit more cumbersome to Houdini the thing around yourself. I think I'd use it more if I was faster at doing a back wrap. But it can hold up to 35 pounds, which is a LOT of toddler, amIright?!

Now that we're done with breastfeeding, wearing Ada is one of the only times when she is calm and snugly. For this reason, I don't see us stopping anytime soon. I think she weighs around 22 pounds. Surprisingly, the weight is distributed and doesn't feel much heavier than when she was a smaller baby.

Look at that calm toddler!

THOUGHTS on WEARING YOUR TODDLER

#1: Convenience. Tossing the carrier in the back of the car or even in the diaper bag is still a lot easier than even the lightest umbrella stroller. If we want to zip around a festival, go out to a brewery, or wander around a race expo, we choose toddler-wearing over stroller pushing 9 times out of 10.

#2: Calm. At least in our experience, Ada is far more relaxed when I'm wearing her versus when she's in the stroller or grocery cart. I wouldn't have believed that could be possible, but it's like something changes when I wear her and she just stops thrashing around. An added benefit is that she often hugs me and repeats, "Mama....Mama" in a lovey-dovey sort of voice.

#3: Connection. It's not necessarily too late to start wearing your little one. Some of my friends think their children are too old, but if the shoe fits -- errrr -- they weigh under 35 pounds it might be worth giving it a try. You can often find gently used carriers at yard sales, thrift stores, or even your friend's closet to try out.

How long did you wear your toddler? Or are you still going strong? What kind of carrier do you think is most comfortable for older kids?

Or maybe you have a funny toddler-wearing story to share. Not a lot of people wear their babies in our area, so when we're out + about, it's definitely a conversation starter. Especially when people don't first realize there's a kid there. They're not expecting someone with two heads to be standing in line next to them, I guess!

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Rocky Road

2013-05-06T09:06:00.002-04:00

I really have no excuse for eating Biscoff cookies + Goldfish for breakfast.

But . . .

Things are really hard over here right now.

That's a major understatement. I started to write about it in gory, explicit detail, but then I realized I was just venting to vent. As Ada gets older I need to find a better balance between the things I share about her specifically versus my own feelings, my experience. So, I got it out in a great big cathartic chunk of text complete with misspellings and run-on sentences + deleted it.

In short: Ada is taking naps, for now, but isn't going down for bed or sleeping well at all. It's worse than EVER. Verging on what seem like night terrors and absolutely nothing we do helps. She's in another world. She yells for us and doesn't want us to hold her. She pushes us away and acts like she wants to be in our arms. She isn't wet or warm and is fine during the day, making me think it's more developmental than physical (though if it continues, I will be calling the doctor).

It's so confusing. Last night I found myself pleading with her to tell me what's wrong, knowing full well that she can't tell us. "What if it never stops? I mean, like never EVER?" I asked Stephen in a moment of sheer terror + desperation. We both felt like we were going to throw up. And after she finally cried to sleep (because that was our painful last resort), every time I heard even the slightest noise in the night, I shuttered with fear.

Oh, Ada is able to pop off her sleep sack now . . . which was our whole family's security blanket. It was keeping her from climbing out of her crib, which I know she can do because I've watched it. I think her days in the crib are numbered, which means we might have even more sleep-interrupted nights in our future.

Perhaps for the first time, it's really as dramatic as I'm making it seem. At least I think so. It's probably not. This is all along with a bunch of other things like spitting out food and having mega-tantrums. My dad is in the hospital, too. One of our cats has been throwing up all over the house. Again, stuff I don't want to go into.

What it all boils down to: There are definitely times when life challenges us, am I right?

I keep reading about this 18-month sleep regression. Do any of you have stories to share or experience with it? Does it end quickly or drag on?

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GIVEAWAY: 2 Red Hens Studio

2013-05-04T08:52:00.001-04:00

Happy Saturday, everyone!

Some of you might have heard of the new online magazine, Daily Mom, that just launched last month. It's an amazing resource of posts and articles for the modern woman and mom. Imagine Pinterest worthy posts with useful information about all aspects of life - from parenting to beauty, fashion, green living, health, fitness, and more. Once you visit Daily Mom, you will be hooked - jumping from one post to another.

I have partnered with Daily Mom to host one of their giveaways as a part of an extensive 50 Days of Giveaways campaign to celebrate their launch. For 50 days, they will be giving away one awesome prize a day to thank their new readers. So today we're giving an opportunity for one lucky reader to win a Diaper Bag and Toy Nanny by 2 Red Hens Studio.

If you’re looking for a cute, durable, grab-and-go diaper bag for quick trips to the grocery store or family outings to the park, 2 Red Hens is the place to go. “2 Red Hens Studio: Vintage Chic For Modern Mamas” definitely lives up to its slogan, with cute, vintage designs in a practical, modern diaper bag.

Be sure to check out their stylish and practical bags on their website. Keep in the loop by following them on Facebook and Twitter. And of course, enter below for a chance to win. Check out the Daily Mom Feature on 2 Red Hens Studio by writer Danielle. And check out the Daily Mom Feature on the Toy Nanny as well.

The giveaway will run for a week, and there are only two mandatory entries with many optional ones. All you have to do is follow the directions below in the Rafflecopter widget. This giveaway is open to legal US and Canadian residents only.

And be sure to visit Daily Mom tomorrow to see what new item they are giving away and to enter previous drawings! The prizes range from strollers to high chairs, monitors, diaper bags, fashion items, baby clothing and photography products. There is something for everyone.

Need Help? Don't have a Facebook account to enter with? Email Daily Mom staff!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

After you've entered the giveaway, be sure to browse Daily Mom and check out some of my favorite posts! I'm loving:

Ways to Encourage Dad and Baby Bonding

3 Benefits of Probiotics for your Baby

Common Car Seat Mistakes

FEATURED SPONSOR GIVEAWAYS FROM DAILY MOM

This post is for notification purposes only. To see a full list of prizes and current giveaways, please visit our Giveaway page.

The Spring + Summer Bucket List

2013-05-03T12:51:00.002-04:00

I was just reading about the recent snow in the middle of the country. Do any of you guys live there? That's wild and just plain cruel, universe! So, please know I write this gushy post not to be completely insensitive . . . but we're reveling in the warm weather right now.

When you live in our part of the US (where we have just four fewer cloudy days than cities the Pacific Northwest -- but also snow to make things extra dreary) the start of spring is, like, a huge big deal.

HUGE like these trees we saw this morning.

We're smack in the middle of two weeks, two g.l.o.r.i.o.u.s weeks of almost full sunshine and 65 to 70-degree temperatures. I almost don't know what to do with myself, let alone with a toddler who is no longer confined indoors. It all happened so fast. We've switched our furnace off (finally) and cleaned up our covered back patio. We've dusted off lawn chairs and tossed the boots into the closet.

I don't know what my point is. Basically, I feel really happy right now. I don't know if it's just my mood from all the rays or a serious physiological response (because people in our area have a high instance of S.A.D., no joke, we were voted one of the most depressed places ~~on Earth~~ in America). I'm thinking it's a mix.

I know for certain Ada notices a difference. All she wants to do is go outside.

So, here's our spring/summer bucket list:

Go to the zoo [CHECK!]
Have a picnic in the park down the street
Plant a toddler garden
Take a family bike ride (suggestions on seats?)
Get a basketball hoop [CHECK!]
Go swimming at the neighborhood pool
Walk to get ice cream (new shop 1/4 mile away! big deal because we can't walk to anything!)
Play in the rain
Pick flowers + press them
Run in sprinkler
Splash in baby pool at home
Make a no-bake dessert together, maybe worms 'n dirt!
Draw on the sidewalk with chalk
Build a fort outside
Walk downtown (2.5 miles) to have lunch or dinner!
Spend an entire day outside
Run around naked (Ada, not me)
Ride first balance bike (got the bike, just need a few months to grow into it)
Visit elderly neighbors during the day
Have a cookout, or 15 cookouts!
Have a party with our friends
Brew a batch of beer
Go to a baseball game together
See fireworks
Take a day trip to hike in the Finger Lakes
Make homemade ice cream
Wash the cars (Ada would love to "help"!)

What's on your family's warm weather bucket list? Any ideas for things we should add? What I'm most excited for is being able to have entire weekends spent at home just lazing around on the back porch. We have a busy travel season ahead with family, so any down time will be treasured.

Happy Friday!

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Hello!

2013-05-01T13:51:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I have posted a family photo.

This is from a couple days ago -- thanks, Shelby, for your stellar photography skills. I quite like it, except I definitely think if things don't change soon, Stephen and I are on a steady course to become those old people you can't distinguish between. Thank goodness we don't have dogs.

Ada is 17 months old. I'm not planning to do a formal update this month, but let's just say this little girl continues to change dramatically from day to day like most toddlers tend to do. In good ways (like she gave us KISSES last weekend and have several phrases/near-sentences up her sleeve) and in some not-so good ways (cue gigantic tantrums and worsening separation anxiety, as if that were even possible).

We're having a blast now that the spring weather is finally here. We've in a good routine, too, which I'd love to continue, but I know it could change like THAT. And, overall, we're just looking forward to what the summer will bring. It's definitely a perk of living on a more modest income to have time on our side. I'll take time together over fancy cars and exotic vacations any day.

Our old neighbors who moved to Texas a few years ago were up last weekend and into this week. We had them over along with some of our other neighbors (who are moving to the other side of town soon) and just marveled at how in the five years since we've known one another . . . we've surely multiplied.

It's crazy how fast things change. I started to get sad about it. About everyone moving and changing directions. But then I realized how fortunate we are to be sharing this time of our lives with such wonderful people, no matter where we are in the world. We're connected still in so many ways. I'll stop being a sap now.

I have another mistress these days, just so you know. We're knocking off lots of small + large house projects, so if things seem a bit quieter over on Writing Chapter Three, it's because I'm out filling cracks in the driveway or researching house paint colors; arranging an appraisal for our loan refinance or finally caulking in the kitchen. I might just take a day off here + there to take advantage of nap times for quiet things I can do without power tools.

Just wanted to pop in and say hello! Also, for all the teachers out there:

I saw this on Chipotle's Facebook page last night and am way too excited about it! (Not an ad, I'm just very enthusiastic about their food. Hahah!) I know what we're eating for dinner next Tuesday.

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DIY Under $100: Coat Storage

2013-04-29T12:53:00.000-04:00

We did a little DIY project this weekend inspired by our quest to organize/clear out our spaces. You can (easily, EASILY!) do the same thing -- no tutorial necessary. Basically, we've been needing better coat + bag storage. We're actually working on our front entryway at the moment, where we had previously installed this temporary closet.

(Read more about the before // after.)

We chose a temporary solution because there's no insulation in the space and it's almost impossible to use in the cold months (read: half the year where we live). So, our plans include ripping up the floor + changing the door(s) + adding a window seat and other storage. But that's not what we're focusing on right now.

We took the area at the bottom of our stairway and turned it into an organize coat area for $80. Here's a little look through the ages. Gotta love the orange sherbet + green carpet combo. Not-so sad to see it go several years ago.

And after a new coat of paint, we just put some photos on the wall. But then we added all this yesterday so it wasn't just a pretty face. It now has function.

Basically, I was yelling at Stephen to "pick up [his] nest" of shoes/backpack/coat/etc. every night. Then I realized he had no real spot to do what I was asking. You can see where I went a little crazy with Pinspiration this weekend. In the end, simple was the best option for us.

#1: We measured the space (48" wide) to see how many hooks would fit.

I originally set out to find 4 sets of 24" hook racks -- to place them the entire way across -- but ended up liking the look of some metal 20" ones. I actually think they are meant for use in the kitchen. Anyway, if you are more patient than I am, there are like a gazillion different styles and colors of similar racks on Amazon at really good prices.

#2: We put our mirror up first, decided on the height of each row after.

We've had this mirror all over the house, but it's been homeless the past month. So, we knew we'd need to hang it high, but we like having a mirror as we go down the stairs. We put it up with two monkey hooks (those things are magic, aren't they?!) and then eyeballed the height of the top row of racks after that. We put the second row of racks about 24" under the top row.

#3: We drilled holes and used a screw set for plaster walls.

Depending on your wall situation, you'll do something different. Just make sure you use a level to get these guys straight the first time around versus having too many do-overs. We're happy to report we got it right the first time, every time. Which is a new record for us.

#4: We basked in the glory of a DIY project that didn't have us killing one another afterward.

Yeah. This project from start to finish took less than an hour. We're trilled to have such steady, strong racks on which to place all our crap. And we love using our small spaces in smart ways. Like I said, there were a couple pictures hanging before. That literally did nothing for us.

Here's a keeing-it-real view with a puzzle explosion by the bookcase.

I just wanted to show where this coat area is in relation to the living room. The door next to it leads to the front entry nook that we are going to work on soon. So, it's positioned well for optimum convenience.

Stephen's nest now has a home. That will save me a lot of yelling at night. It's a win-win.

What projects have you done for under $100? Ones that have had a major impact on either the looks or function of your home? We'd love some frugal ideas!

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Toddler Gardens

2013-04-26T13:01:00.001-04:00

Last Friday, I wrote about our grand trip to . . . the backyard. We didn't get around to as much outdoor work as we wanted last weekend. And since then, I've been trying to think of a way to cultivate some of our space specifically for the toddler that will be roaming around much of this spring, summer, and beyond.

That train of thought led me to discover the world of toddler gardens. Ada is still young, so I'm not planning to create anything elaborate. Just a few edible plants to water and munch on . . . maybe a water feature (read: bowl of water) . . . a few colorful annuals to pick for mama.

We definitely have an unoccupied patch of dirt that would be perfect for playing. It's just a matter of figuring out how we would want to set everything up. Ideally, I'd like our project to cost us under $10. I think it's possible because there's little we'd need to buy besides some plants. One thing's for sure, Ada + her watering can are primed and ready for a season of muddy fun.

Here are some of my favorite kid-friendly outdoor play-gardens.

Hannah over at Paint on the Ceiling is a mother of 2. She created this awesome garden for her daughter + I love how she used bricks as planters. It's both fun and functional.

Anna at The Imagination Tree filled her daughter's cute garden with lavender, lemon thyme, mint, and rosemary. I can just imagine all those good fragrances lingering in the air.

Our last toddler garden inspiration comes from Clover Creek Baby. Clever use of the tree stumps that could provide both boundaries and seating here. This space was created for a little 1-1/2 year old boy. Note the little pile of stones. Ada would love that!

Aren't these projects cool? Does your toddler have a garden? What are some of your favorite kid-friendly plants?

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Dwelling Small // Living Simply

2013-04-24T13:03:00.000-04:00

A lot of what's occupying my mind these days has to do with the home. The physical space. The room we occupy with our bodies + (many) things, too. Lately it's dawned on me that I may not be able to change my habits, as I'll detail below. My habitat, however, is another story entirely.

It's no secret: We have been living in somewhat of a mess over the past couple years.

Stephen is a tidy guy by nature; I function best in chaos. I'm that weird mix of a procrastinator/perfectionist -- thriving on the stress of last-minute to get things done. I've also grown quite fond of starting lots of projects and not finishing them. Of things like pretty clothes (that, surprisingly, you can find in good supply at thrift and Good Will stores) and other conveniences that -- when I take a step back -- seem incredibly frivolous and indulgent.

Unnecessary clutter of our spaces. Unnecessary things to clean and maintain. Unnecessary stress and frustration. Why not get rid of it all and become minimalist? I realize minimalism is either a serious lifestyle shift and/or a huge trend depending on who you're talking to. Whether brought up by true virtue or pure aesthetic, I keep running into posts and pictures of clean, quiet spaces that immediately give me that "Ahhhh" calming feeling.

And today I ran across this gorgeous 560 square foot home, with interior (+ image source) by Jessica Helgerson, and just about choked on my bagel.

To die for, right? You have to see the rest of the tour!

I don't know much about the actual practice of minimalism or if that's even what I want to label this new desire. And I don't really mean in the design sense -- buying expensive trendy items and closely mimicking Scandi decor. I'm talking home/body/soul. Been consulting sources like Zen Habits for the holistic view and looking at blogs like Reading My Tea Leaves for helpful inspiration + tips on living in small spaces.

Ours isn't so tiny, 1200 square feet, though these days I feel in the minority of my peers living in a 1-bathroom home with such a small footprint. Outside a major city, that is. We can't as easily extend our living to neighborhood hot spots and other community centers. And we could likely have two more kids here. You never know.

So, finding a way to use the space we do have in a smarter way is something I'm gunning for. You know, like that third bedroom is another 120 square feet that we've been using all these years for a hoarders-type closet. (As an aside: I've discovered the difference between true hoarding and just being messy is being able to get rid of things/not have attachment issues. Thankfully I can plow through and donate without shedding tears.)

I don't have much else to write today. I'm going to start sharing bits + pieces of our adventures with leaning out the clutter and bringing out the space. It goes much beyond just things for us, though. We're truly looking to simplify our lives and start living in a whole new way.

It sounds so trite, but living with less is r.e.a.l.l.y living with more. We're beginning to see that so clearly it hurts our eyes. Already we've made some major strides in all regards . . . and you can just feel some weight has lifted.

Let the sun shine in! (More soon.)

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Cloth Diaper Update

2013-04-23T13:10:00.002-04:00

After my last update, things in cloth diapering land were going alright. I had to strip our diapers a few times because they just didn't seem like they were absorbing like they used to. Ada would get leaks after an hour or two when -- before -- they were absorbent for 3 or 4, no problem.

When I noticed this was a trend, I first decided to change the detergent we were using, as I thought maybe it was leading to buildup + repelling of moisture. Truth be told, I wasn't using any of the special laundry soaps made specifically for diapers.

Mine (Purex Hypoallergenic) was listed as OK on different charts, not great or horrible. I was doing my best to balance a desire to free/clear, availability, and budget. We also boosted with free + clear OxiClean on occasion.

A CHANGE OF DETERGENT:

As I mentioned in my (Pre)Toddler Must-Haves post, we bought a few tubs of Charlie's Laundry Soap when I saw it got good marks (98%) on this chart. And it seemed to help . . . at least initially.

At the suggestion of a friend, I even picked up a few packets of RLR Laundry Treatment to use monthly -- to avoid the need to strip the diapers more than absolutely necessary. (Oh, any by the way: You can strip diapers using just the blue Dawn soap and omit the bleach entirely.)

It may have all been in my head, but the diapers were absorbing better during the day. But after our trip to NYC (where we used disposables rather than lug our diaper haul into the city), something happened. I write that in passive voice because I honestly don't know who or what to blame.

And now I'm going to write about my recent nightmare experience which has caused us to use disposables for the past 2+ weeks.

THEN IT HAPPENED:

There was a night a few weeks ago where Ada was crying on and off. We thought she was teething because she had been fussy after dinner. She would whine for a few minutes, then go to sleep again. Whine some more. Sleep some more. Eventually I went in to check on her and she wasn't warm, wasn't wet, and didn't seem to need anything but some comforting.

Eventually she slept for a few solid hours and woke her normal time. When I went in to change her diaper, I was absolutely shocked/horrified with that I saw. Ada had little red sores in her diaper area. Blisters, too. It looked almost like she had been burned. What's more -- her diaper smelled h.a.r.s.h.l.y of ammonia. Enough to burn my own nostrils.

I deduced that she had ammonia burns. Distraught, I imagined Ada in pain all night long and it was all my fault. A trip to the doctor confirmed that something was going on. We got a prescription strength cream to prevent infection and -- to this day -- she is still healing from the incident.

WHAT WE DID:

In the meantime, we have been using disposables on Ada religiously. I use the Seventh Generation Free + Clear and they have been incredibly absorbent (even for the long stretch overnight!) and we've had no diaper rash to speak of. I am happy and thankful they are working so well while we figure out what is wrong with our cloth diapers.

I can't even believe how much trash we have, and I feel bad about it, but it is what it is.

It boils down to this: I am actually scared to put cloth on Ada again because I worry that all the stripping in the world won't help. I have flushed the whole lot full of cold water, hot water, I've put them on long, LONG cycles and rinsed again. I've soaked them. I have even switched to Tide Powder. I really didn't want to use Tide, but I have read almost unanimously that it works the best for all issues.

I am going to do one more rinse, soak, wash, rinse using Tide and then try again once Ada is fully healed. But I think for overnight we are going to stay with disposables for the foreseeable future. I am not totally soured on cloth diapering, I just don't know what we did wrong and don't want Ada to suffer again like that.

WHAT NOW?

A lot of people have asked: Is your water hard or soft? I don't really know. We have city water. How many days were we going between cycles? Three. I admit that's quite a few, but I have read a variety of posts online where that's OK to do. From now on, I'll likely wash every other day.

I am ~~sort of~~ extremely annoyed because I feel like no one else has problems cloth diapering. At least no one that i can't find who has written about it. Everything seems like rainbows and kittens and sweet smelling bottoms. And my annoyance quickly turns to shame. Like somehow I majorly screwed up.

I'm not totally disenchanted. I'm committed to using cloth full-time again, too. I'm hoping some of you might be able to share if you've had a problem like this in the past + what you did about it. Leaking is one thing, but horrible burns + blisters is another thing entirely.

Sigh.

It's not all bad, though. We WILL fix this issue and I'll be sure to share more info when we do. If you're interest, here's more about our adventures with cloth diapering:

Surveying the Options
Our Plan (Early Stages)
How It's Going (1 Month In)
Phase II: Cloth Wipes
Cloth Diapering On The Go
How to Strip Cloth Diapers

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Weekend Recap

2013-04-22T13:30:00.000-04:00

I woke up Friday morning and all of a sudden found 1,000,000 things wrong with our house. I don't mean little cosmetic fixes or fun redecorating either. The boring stuff. Like our driveway is crumbling and needs to either be replaced or majorly patched. Our metal shed is rusty and starting to lean toward one side -- again, likely needs replacing. The awning over the side door is drooping and an obstruction.

What else?

Several gutters on the house were pulled down by icicles after snow storms and need attention. The aluminum siding is staring to show major wear and needs to be painted (I'd love to update with vinyl, but that's over 10K!). The windows are filthy and the whole house in general, inside and out, needs a good scrub.

Oh, and the yard is a complete disaster -- moss is overtaking the grass, almost all our mulch is gone, etc. -- and we didn't get to any of the outdoor work we had slated for the weekend. I have a to-do list seven miles long . . . and it all screams $$$.

Here's what we did instead of dealing with the inevitable:

Saturday morning I headed down to a nearby park to take place in our area's run to remember Boston. It was a great event, full of heart and spirit, and drew over 150 runners in all -- Boston veterans and recreational runners alike. Thanks again to Chris for organizing. I actually jogged down to the meeting spot with one of our neighbors -- we did 6.35 miles in all at a nice clip.

Here are a few photos. What a great turnout!

The rest of the day we cleaned. I can't even begin to impress on you the amount of cleaning that has been way overdue over here. It's not hoarding level, but after we had Ada, we just got lazy. About everything. And with the influx of STUFF that comes along with having a child, our spaces have become overwhelmed in the past two years.

I am going to have an entire post with more about this effort later in the week. Things are looking better, that's for sure. THIS is what we now call a mess, and it's not the least bit intimidating.

Sunday was an interesting day for the both of us.

Stephen was picked up early Sunday morning to join his team at the Seneca 7 race that began in Geneva, NY, and snaked its way all around Seneca Lake in the Finger Lakes region of NY. 77.7 miles split up by 7 people into legs of between 2.6 miles to 5.2 miles. Each runner averaged just short of 12 miles in all.

His team placed second overall in 7:40:30, at an average of 5:54/mile (which is only like 3 seconds/mile slower than the 1st place team!). Stephen is going to write up a race report for this event on (never)homemaker later in the week. Congrats, guys!

Ada and I held down the fort, as Stephen left the house before 6AM and got back after 10PM, and tracked the team's progress throughout the day. I'll preface this by saying: I am a lucky girl. Sunday was my first day taking care of Ada's every need sun up to sun down. I was wiped out by the evening -- but we did alright the two of us.

Highlight of the day was picking up Ada's new Little Tikes picnic table. Thankfully it was a gorgeous day, so we played outdoors, got groceries, went on a walk, and then my dad dropped by to help out with a kitchen project for a bit.

We also ate a lot of chocolate pie this weekend.

Now I'm getting ready to do my last long run before I taper for the upcoming half marathon. How about you?

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Simple Pleasures

2013-04-19T13:16:00.002-04:00

Ever since Ada started napping later, we've been chasing after entertainment for our long mornings. We've been searching and searching and searching everywhere but here, it seems. Home has become stale after a long, cold winter indoors. Fridays aren't teeming with story hours, toddler rock concerts (yeah, that's a thing), and other activities, however. So, unless we have something scheduled with a friend, we're on our own.

Not that I mind much. Our old hermit ways aren't too distant from my memory and -- really -- running all over the place gets quite exhausting, am I right? So, what do we do? It's so simple + obvious that I feel the need to devote an entire post to it.

We go outside.

Not to some park across town that necessitates driving. Not to some special playground with the best toys or the most playmates. Not to some groomed walking path with gorgeous views. None of that. We simply put on our shoes and step outdoors to the backyard, which -- I'm happy to report -- is starting to burst and bloom with springtime flowers, crawly bugs, rocks, weeds, and other organic wonders that make the idea of toys + books sound incredibly boring.

Sometimes the best things are right under our noses -- like sweet-smelling daffodils. And toddlers are experts in finding wonder in anything and everything. Ada spent the bulk of the morning rolling in dirt and chasing a muddy ball down the driveway. I am looking forward to a weekend of sprucing up our little outdoor spaces . . . and to more mornings like these, spent both in (by staying home) and out (because fresh air rules!).

Have a great Friday!

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Tonight's the Night

2013-04-17T20:07:00.002-04:00

This is one of those in-the-moment posts. Real time. Going on right now: I just put Ada to bed without nursing her to sleep. For the first time in her life, over 500 nights (Yes. I added it up. 517). She has never taken a bottle before bed. Not ever. Because I'm a #supermom and love breastfeeding that much.

Wait. Scratch that.

Ada just never tolerated it any other way and/or we didn't ever push it because we're lazy like that. (I kid. Nothing about breastfeeding this long is lazy. Trust me.) And here's the crazy thing . . . I think she is actually falling asleep -- without tears or screaming -- as I write out this post.

I'm in utter disbelief and feel like it was way too easy. Anticlimactic. Almost to a fault, because I thought she'd put up a fight. She had been sort of showing signs of major meltdown when I'd suggest to Stephen I leave to room "just to see" what would happen during the nighttime routine.

At the first sign of tears, I'd rush in to save the ~~day~~ night with the good stuff. Putting it off another day. Another week. Another month.

Tonight just felt right. I don't know why. Nothing specific happened. Yesterday Ada turned 17 months old, which is still a month short of where I said we'd start the full weaning process. I guess things have been winding down and I was nervous. Going for it was really the only way.

Complete silence up there still.

I think she's really asleep. And now I feel like this major physically + emotionally symbiotic relationship we have had for the past 2+ years is just OVER. Like that. I know that isn't entirely true, but a huge part of it is. I feel like the decision to stop was completely fleeting, yet not at all at the same time. Lots of emotions. An odd, yet content sadness, if that makes any sense.

Guilt, too, but for WHAT?! I suppose it's inherent in most things parenting. I also feel really proud of Ada and myself. For making it this far. Not just with our nursing relationship. With everything.

I want to see how the night and next couple days go before sticking a fork in it. Calling it totally done. But 17 months exactly. I guess this is a small step toward all those "next big things" I wrote about in the sibling spacing post yesterday.

(Which, by the way, gals -- I'm still making my way through them, but your comments have been amazing, intriguing, and I love learning more about who you all are, what you think, and how you and your family live your lives. Thank you.)

More soon.

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Number Two

2013-04-16T13:14:00.000-04:00

The more we've ventured out during our days, the more I've realized that Ada not only isn't so little anymore, but also is in the growing minority of children her age sans sibling(s). Obviously this isn't a worldwide minority, and -- quite frankly -- I'm a bit shocked that there are SO many people going for number two so soon.

Yeah. In our little circle, it seems most mamas with kids over a year are either toting around a newborn, announcing pregnancy, or bursting with third trimester goodness. Talk about overwhelming at times. I still feel like I'm getting over pregnancy and birth. Like it was yesterday.

"Oh, how old is your little guy?" I ask the pregnant woman to my right.
"15 months," she says with a smile.
"When are you due, if you don't mind me asking?" I hope not to offend.
"Any day now . . . " she says, smiling again.

Gulp. That's what I thought. OK. Let's get this out of the way first: I don't have baby fever. I get bouts of it from time to time because they are so darned cute, but genuinely, we do not plan and have not planned to even think about having more children until Ada is at least 2 years old. In November. 2013.

Even then, it will just be the beginning of the number two process.

I hope I'm not giving the impression that I think there's something wrong with having kids back to back to back. That's not at all my intention. There are plenty of good reasons to have children so close in age.

It can be great for the sibling relationship.
It can mean more kids in the long run -- and a full house is a happy house.
It can be necessitated by maternal age or other fertility reasons.
It can allow couples to be done with the sleepless nights + diapers stages relatively quickly.
It can make good financial sense, too, when you consider reusing items and even think ahead to the college years with tuition reduction incentive when more than once child is in school at a time.

That's just to name a few.

That's not a world I know. My only sibling -- brother -- and I are a good 4 years apart. I'm the oldest. So, I was a lonely only my entire baby and toddler career. Stephen and his brother are a bit closer, I think more like 2-1/2 years (correct me if I'm wrong, Kathy!).

I suppose my own experience has played a role in our child spacing strategy (if you can call it that -- but we're planners, so there's not much chance of surprise with us). Indeed, my own pregnancy experience + delivery + method of parenting have moved us in a certain direction.

// Honestly, I'm scared to be pregnant again.

It feels good to write that and tell you all. I have only recently admitted this to myself. I think a lot of people find it difficult to understand the "contractions" I had from week 17 onward. They never did anything bad and didn't result in any sort of complication with birth.

But having an irritable uterus was scary, all-consuming, and -- depending on the caregiver -- could mean a whole host of things if it happens again, which I'm told is extremely possible. I can write more about having an irritable uterus another time. I started to, but it turned into an epic-length novel.

In short: Getting dozens of closely spaced contractions every hour for months on end wore me down emotionally and physically, and I'm not eager to do it all over again.

// I want Ada to have her time to shine.

This isn't to say that younger kids with siblings aren't given the same attention. For me, I just feel like I need Ada to have the spotlight on her until she can better understand what a sibling means. Until I can explain it to her in somewhat intelligible terms. I'm sure she could understand sooner than I'm giving her credit for, so I suppose this is where my own 4-year sibling gap is dictating some of my feelings.

// I want to be financially ready.

Which, surprisingly, we are at this moment. But working from home is different compared to last time when we could save our pennies with my full-time desk job. Being mostly self-employed, my income fluctuates from month to month, so I want to make sure we're stable continuing forward (and that I possibly have some more irons in the fire to fall back on). All is looking really good, but I'm the kind of person who is always waiting for that bad thing to happen.

// I want Ada to be onto the next thing.

Potty training, big girl beds, half day preschool, the whole bit. If Ada's moved onto the next stage in her little life . . . it means that number 2 will, in turn, be able to get more of my attention as well. I guess this is a big worry of mine: That our next child just won't -- out of necessity -- get the same level of attentiveness.

I have no delusions that I can devote the same fixation to the pregnancy and newborn stage that I did with Ada. She was the first and, as part of the deal, was a bit of an obsession of mine. I am hoping that by waiting just a tic, though, I'll have a bit more space to slow down for our next child and my own sanity. Even an inch of more space will be helpful, I think.

// I have a few personal things to iron out first.

These are purely selfish, but if I can't do a few things for myself with just one child? Forget about it with more. I want to run another marathon, which is scheduled for October. I want to be breastfeeding-free, and -- therefore -- have my body all to me for once in the last two years! -- for at least a year (we're still doing a night feeding). You know, simple stuff like that.

Those are just some of the main reasons we're waiting. And we're still not certain how many children we'd like to bring into the world either. Often I think realistically two, but there are days when I see families of five (3 kids), and I think about how fantastic that might be. A "large" family, and I know three kids doesn't necessarily qualify as such, is so foreign to us since we both came from families of four.

Who knows what will happen. It's not all up to us, that much I've learned is true.

What is your own child-spacing strategy? Or do you not have one? I just love hearing what other people have to say about families. And those of you with experiences either way -- or with choosing one child -- that would be awesome to hear, too.

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Nap Time Success Tips

2013-04-15T13:22:00.001-04:00

Before we had Ada, I never considered how a day could hinge so much on napping. It feels like a matter or winning and losing sometimes. As many of you mamas already know, naps are KING when it comes to having a good or bad day. Not only do naps provide much-needed rest for the little ones, but also much-needed rest for the caregiver, whether it be mom, dad, family, or whoever else.

I've written so many posts about how naps have perplexed or frustrated me, so I'd like to take a new approach. (I'm trying this in all areas of life -- focusing on success/positive versus failure/negative. A spring cleaning of my mind, if you will.)

Sleeping beauty.

What successes have we had in the nap department? And what has precipitated them?

// 1. Consistency.

Once Ada gets into a certain groove, we try to stick with it as best we can. Nap frequency and times change (here's more about our latest transition), but within those movable confines, we have a some control. But it takes some sacrifice, as you'll see in another point.

Having a predictable schedule helps (if we go out, it's usually between 9 and 11, no later before her nap at 12). Having a nap time routine also helps (snack, go upstairs, darken room with blackout shades, certain books, her blankie, kiss, etc.). We've tried to keep these things consistent at every stage. This way, Ada has learned what a nap looks like, feels like, and maybe even looks forward to as part of her everyday.

// 2. Attentiveness.

This is one of the hardest areas for me. But staying on top of Ada's cues and making changes as needed has helped us through a few transition times. However, it's taken a long time to get to this point. I wasn't very good at reading sleep cues in the beginning (often when she was a baby, I thought she was hungry!) . . . nor did I understand how often a baby's/toddler's needs change.

But I have found -- through much trial and error -- that if there are issues, usually there's either teething, sickness, or a major milestone/nap transition to blame. We adapt during those bad times, and it's hard. Not going to lie. Discovering the root cause helps me understand it won't necessarily last forever (well, at least until Ada's napping days are OVER. Ahhhh!).

// 3. Sacrifice.

Keeping a schedule that's predictable has meant some major sacrifice, not only for myself, but also for things I've wanted for Ada's sake. A lot of toddler classes or story hours conflicted with Ada's tired times until very recently -- so, we skipped them. For her entire life, which is meant to sound dramatic because it has felt that way. While traveling, it meant missing out on various things, too.

All children are different, but pushing the limits with Ada has never resulted well for us, so it just wasn't worth it to try. There are many ways to look at "sacrifice" -- we may not have been doing lots of "fun" stuff, but at the same time, we were both getting what we needed. Quite time for me, crucial snooze time for Ada. So, we were able to make it through just fine.

// 4. Creativity + Adaptability.

Different kids respond to different things in different ways. The same kid may respond the same things in different ways. Way to keep us on our toes! What do I mean here? Well, after months of reading various books to Ada before nap time, I discovered that two in particular were really doing the trick at making her tired.

So, I created a way to read the books in a certain order and tie them together. I noticed if I read one of them twice, repeating it the second time in a hushed voice, it worked even better. And if I took a certain line from another book ("It's time for a nap, so I must go -- and so much we all, don't you know?"), it sealed the deal.

Be creative when it comes to finding what works for your child. That might mean using a crutch (like a special blanket or toy) or song or tone of voice. Whatever you see is WORKING after trying a few times. And if something stops working (like how Ada gets really wild when she hears Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star), latch on to something new. Adapt.

// 5. Understanding.

I hate admitting this, but I used to get ANGRY when Ada wouldn't nap. Like actually want-to-punch-a-wall because I needed a BREAK. I think we've all been there -- especially during nap-strikes that go on for days. I've always tried my best to keep this frustration from Ada.

She's wasn't skipping naps to ruin my ~~day~~ life, but I'm sure I've been less than warm one time or another. Through various periods of skipped naps, however, I've developed better coping skills (because choosing to be angry was all on me, my decision) and understanding.

Understanding the reasons she's not napping on any given day. Understanding that it won't last forever. Understanding that little schedules change a little at a time or sometimes all at once. Understanding that teething or sickness is a bummer for Ada, and sometimes cuddles with mama are better than extra Zzzzzzsss.

\\\ /// \\\ /// \\\ /// \\\ ///

After writing this all out, I realize I sound like a crazy person. Also like I'm making it impossible for Ada to sleep under different circumstances. I'll just say that maybe I am a little nuts. I take naps seriously because I cherish the time (for work and my own sanity) incredibly so.

And strangely, Ada IS adaptable to new locations (like a noisy NYC apartment in a Pack 'n Play, where she napped 2+ solid hours each day of vacation) and situations. Even, gasp, new BOOKS that aren't the "special" ones. But on a day-to-day basis, I've found keeping it as formulaic and predictable as possible is what gets the best results.

There are things + situations you can't predict (like your super nice neighbor deciding to mow his law with his really loud mower every Tuesday smack in the middle of nap time). And this obviously isn't the best advice for your specific child because everyone is so different.

Sometimes I miss the sleepy newborn stage. Or the stage where Ada could sleep while life went on directly around her. Almost enough to want another child right now, but only almost. Not ready to coordinate TWO schedules just yet.

So, what works for your baby or toddler?

I feel like everyone is always swapping napping advice, I'd love to hear some new tips! I was relatively general, so if you'd like more specifics, just ask in the comments!

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Spice-"Dyed" Play Dough

2013-04-11T13:46:00.000-04:00

To continue with the at-home activities theme from yesterday, here's a 5-minute project that gives you something pretty awesome. I have seen a gazillion play dough recipes on Pinterest. Most of them have cream of tartar as a crucial ingredient, which I never, ever have around. And then food coloring, which gets everywhere.

Then there are the edible recipes, which are cool in theory -- but c'mon, I still don't want Ada eating stuff that will likely fall on the ground. I'm not a germaphobe, but even that sounds gross to me. Plus, flavoring something chocolate or peanut butter INVITES eating, no?

So, how about this?

SPICE-"DYED" PLAY DOUGH
Not as vibrant as traditional recipes, perhaps, but still a lot of fun!

What you'll need . . .

1 cup white flour
1/3 cup Kosher salt
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup of water
spices like paprika, oregano, curry, etc.

How to . . .

Combine the flour + salt in a saucepan over low heat and add in the water. Stir with a spatula. Then add in the vinegar, stir, the olive oil, and then keep stirring for about 5 minutes.
Let cool to warm, then divide into 3 or 4 pieces.
Use about 1 tablespoon of spice per section to "color" -- the oregano, for example, even gives an interesting gritty texture! Curry is really saturated. Smells good, too.
Store in an air-tight container. Usually keeps for at least a couple weeks.

Fun, right? I modified this recipe I found on Martha Stewart's site + looked up suitable substitutes for cream of tartar (lemon juice or white wine vinegar). I didn't have either of those, so I decided to wing it with the ACV. That stuff CAN do it all!

Have you made play dough? Or perhaps another fun play-thing? Tell me about it, please!

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Montessori + Spilling the Beans (Literally)

2013-04-10T12:58:00.002-04:00

Ada's recently moved her nap from 10:30/11 to 12:00, thereby fully shifting to one nap per day. (Here's more about the transition.) So, we get this nice, long stretch of morning to go out, play with other kids at the library or park, and then do activities -- all without rushing around (me) or being cranky (Ada).

One nap is liberating and exhausting at the same time. I could write a ton about this, but today I wanted to keep it brief. Basically: I find when I fill our days with more stuff -- whether it be out of the house or (usually) in, time flies. When we're sitting stagnant . . . ugh.

Here's something we did yesterday morning:

I don't know about your little one, but Ada doesn't play with toys. I have no idea why not! We have all these bins filled with fun things and she completely ignores them. Instead, she likes to check out her flap books, bounce a ball around the living room, and generally get into trouble.

I started looking into things to do with her, educational activities and such, which is when I ran into Montessori. Of course we've all heard the name "Montessori" . . . but what does it mean? I didn't really know.

Here's an introduction/overview, and simply put -- at least for Ada's age -- it's a focus on "sensory-motor activities, working with materials that develop their cognitive powers through direct experience: seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching, and movement."

Try 2 . . .

I'm just learning more about it all, but I also read there's an "emphasis on independence, freedom within limits, and respect for a child’s natural psychological development" (Source). Sounds good to me. But I need to do more reading before I declare I'm in love with the whole method. Stuff like babies 6 months old sleeping on floor mattresses (which is fine from a comfort standpoint, but Ada would be all over the place -- which, I guess, is the point!) . . . not so sure about, for example.

Anyway, I guess I have felt like Ada's too young to be focusing too much on learning to count or the ABCs. She tunes that sort of stuff out -- and I take a note from the French (still haven't finished Bringing Up Bébé!) and don't stress it very much.

But sensory play -- like with her rice box -- I definitely see her little eyes light up.

Third time's a charm . . .

We also tried this pouring activity with water after Ada "mastered" the beans. She did pretty well, but I looked away for a minute and SPLASH -- all over the floor. Just keep a towel nearby :)

Montessori-style resources for younger toddlers:

I got this pouring "game" here.
Elaine Eng Friis: Montessori Activities for Toddlers (from 1 year old)
Peaceful Parenting: Infant + Young Toddler Montessori
The Imagination Tree: Space for 6-18 Months: Inspired by Montessori
Hands On As We Grow: Toddler Fine Motor Exploration with Clothespins
Our Montessori Home: Starting Montessori at Home
Living Montessori Now: How to Set Up a Montessori Classroom at Home

I'm not 100% sold on Montessori, but I think it's interesting to look at all the different methods of educating children, even in these young years. I would love to hear your experiences with the method -- or if you know other things I might like to look into.

One thing is for sure: It's fun doing more than just sitting at home with Ada. Agree with the philosophy or not, anyone can enjoy and benefit from these activities!

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Toddler and the City

2013-04-09T14:07:00.002-04:00

We've been on other trips with Ada before. Family fiestas. Beach extravaganzas. Camping + music festival adventures. Day treks. But going to the city tested us in ways we didn't quite anticipate. And yet in other ways, it was much easier than other trips we've taken.

As I mentioned yesterday, I feel like we became city traveling-with-toddler experts in a matter of days. Please keep in mind that these are things that worked for us, for our child (who tends to be a bit temperamental, bless her heart), and for our specific set of circumstances.

We'd love to hear what's worked for you! Feel free to leave a comment below.

Before you get there . . .

Pack light. Then reassess and pack even lighter. Even if we weren't taking the train in, we figured less was more when it came to packing. I packed the majority of my stuff with Ada's in a large duffel bag. Stephen brought a backpack. Then we had one rolling suitcase with the Pack 'n Play and other incidentals. Consumables (diapers, food, etc.) we saved for purchase in the city.
Travel around nap times. I know some kids are more adaptable with nap times, but Ada certainly isn't. We hopped an earlier train so we'd be in the city and settled before she needed to go down. If we had tried to travel during her nap? Yikes. (Though, this rule changes on car rides over 2 hours, it's must easier to have an alert, happy kid on public transportation.)
Don't plan anything. We didn't set up any major expectations or itinerary for the trip. Honestly, we didn't want to get our hopes up or feel like we were on a driving schedule the whole time -- all at Ada's expense. Instead, we took things day by day and utilized nap and bed times to do some things on our own.
Check the weather. Obviously. We had some trouble with this one because the forecast changed. With packing light, we didn't bring a ton of stuff -- so Ada ended up wearing ALL her clothes ALL days to layer because it was chilly and windy (not expected).
Consider your options. With regard to toddler transport, that is. I had this grand idea that Ada would be cool in her Beco Carrier the entire time. But at the last minute, Stephen said we should bring the umbrella stroller. Wow am I glad we did. She fussed and hate being confined to mama and daddy and wanted to look at all the puppies walking by. If you don't have an umbrella stroller, consider getting one. Small footprint, lightweight, folds with one hand in a second, great for subway travel.
Bring a lovey. You know, special items from home. Ada always sleeps with this little comfort blanket. We also brought her favorite stuffed cat, an inflatable ball (packed up really well!), and a few board books.

When you get there . . .

Baby-proof the room(s). In our place, there were those dangerous shade cords hanging everywhere and all the doors had push-locks on the back. Oh, and the balcony was absolutely beautiful, but there was no way we wanted Ada out there alone.
Create a calming sleep space. Whether you have a separate room or just a dark corner, set up your Pack 'n Play + a white noise machine (a MUST in the city! even on the 24th floor!). We also brought a few old curtains to throw over the windows to make the room darker.
Gather the essentials. Take the time before seeing the sights to go out and get what you need so it's on hand. We immediately went to Whole Foods and got supplies (milk, diapers, wipes, yogurt, etc.) because we didn't have room in our luggage to bring with us on the train in.
Relax. We spent the entire first afternoon just acclimating to our space. We headed out a bit in the neighborhood to get lunch, check out a local park, etc. and get our bearings, but otherwise -- low-key. Ada needs a lot of processing time when it comes to new places, so not trekking off far and wide that first (travel) day helped, at least I think so.

While you're there . . .

Don't shy from the subway. Or other public transportation. We weren't keen on taking a taxi without a car seat (though, it is allowed in NYC), so we ventured to central park via subway. We were so surprised at how easy it was! People were really helpful with navigation, but also with getting us through the gates and such. Definitely easier and more enjoyable than we thought.
Go to the playground! Or a children's museum. Or other activities specifically for your child. We made a point to stop in the park on our way to or from certain destinations so Ada didn't get stroller burnout. Even five minutes on a swing helps.
Find a happy place. This happened to us by accident. Near the Flatiron building is a Home Depot. I guess I didn't think that store would be in the city, but ever since Ada was a tiny tiny baby, she has been mesmerized by that place. One morning, she had a TOTAL meltdown while we were out. So, we ran her over to Home Depot to look at the lights and just decompress. Worked like a charm.
Stick to the schedule. When you're on vacation, things are different, but we have always found that replicating Ada's days (meal, snack, nap, and bed times) gives us the most success. It's all a matter of opinion, but I'd rather have a happy girl who has had her nap than drag a cranky, screaming kid all over the city just so I can go to the Empire State Building.
Relax. I know I already wrote this. For us, traveling in the city meant walking 6 to 8 miles a day on top of running. Between all that physical activity, schlepping around extra gear, and trying to keep Ada happy -- we were a bit exhausted. Use your child's nap times to recharge. Or just take a light day if you need to. There was one day we decided to stick within a half mile of our apartment. It was great and just what we needed.
Use a crutch. I don't love to admit this, but Ada needed extra TV time while we were on vacation. She was cranky despite our best efforts to keep things calm for her, so a couple extra episodes of Curious George did the trick. And now that we're back, it's back to the old two episodes a day.

Please . . .

Be realistic and patient. If you have a young toddler, chances are you still haven't totally gotten the hang of travel with a kid in tow. We haven't. Some days, your child may surprise you with adaptability. Other days? The entire morning will be a meltdown, even when you've done everything "right" -- sigh. But in the end, it's best to keep the little ones happy and healthy, even if it means doing less than you want to do.
Go on a date as a couple. Or two. Of course, this is if you can. But chances are, if you're heading into the city -- you likely know of some family or friends who live there. We had some AMAZING offers for childcare over our trip, and I feel very fortunate to have had two dinners child-free.
Go on a date alone. In addition to couple dates or -- perhaps -- if that's not an option, try to head out to do a few things on your own. Stuff YOU want to do, where you don't want any interruptions. I got drinks with an old high school friend one night and another day, I went shopping. By myself. It was blissful. Just take turns so your partner gets the same luxury.
Go with the flow. If your child is having a great day and seems happy, go with it. Push the limits a bit and -- gasp -- go to that sit-down restaurant you've been eying. Or if your toddler seems to be rubbing his/her eyes or just really groggy, consider an earlier nap time. It's a lot to take in. For everyone.
Remember to eat and drink! I know this sounds ridiculous, but when I'm traveling and walking around, etc., I tend to forget to hydrate or eat -- pushing meal times really late. With a toddler, you need to be on point. Bring water and snacks with you so you're never searching for food on the go. We brought a bunch of those fruit/veggie pouches with us.

One regret: We didn't have a travel high chair for meal-time. It wasn't too bad, but in the future, I definitely want to find one.

Today on (never)homemaker, I wrote up some of the places we went and the things we saw. A Tourist's Guide to NYC, if you will. And if you missed the massive photo-dump from our trip, you can check that out here.

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NYC Photo-Dump (I)

2013-04-08T07:59:00.001-04:00

Holy, holy, holy.

For those of you who follow me on Instagram, I appreciate your patience with my over-sharing week all last week. We had so much fun on vacation in NYC, and I didn't bring my D90 for most of the trip, so it was iPhone all the way.

Here's some highlights, but I'll be sharing more as the week rolls on. When do we move there again? Oh, yeah. Probably never. But possibly sometime. Hey -- you never know . . .

Wow. There are so many more. I'll probably share in another post. If you don't mind, that is. Do you mind? It's early morning in these parts and quiet as a church -- I miss the buzz of the city, so it's sort of my post-vacation slump escapism.

I'm also planning to write about traveling in the city with a toddler. It was our first big adventure of the sort + we definitely became quick experts. Trial by fire, I suppose. Tips like using the lights section at Home Depot in a pinch during a massive on-street tantrum.

I've missed you guys! What have you been up to?!

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