Mocha Minute

Inspiration

2014-06-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

Nothing can attest to the strength, power and determination of women of color. We are intelligent, visionaries with hearts of gold and a connection to a sense of purpose which exudes an unrelenting desire to thrive. We at our very best will champion the corporate arena, the little league football field and the intricacies of motherhood while maintaining our foundational connection to our inner spirit of truth. If you have any doubt about how awesome we are, please click on the link below and read the article about this Sister. I am certain you will see the awesomeness in her and thus believe it is also in you.

http://www.aol.com/article/2014/06/26/pregnant-runner-alysia-montano-finishes-800/20920810/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl10%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D494249

Lovin' you is easy,

Do It with Intention

2014-03-14T06:32:00.003-07:00

So…this morning I started my normal ritual. Up at 4:30am, trying to open my right eye then thanking God for my sight and that the only reason why my right eye was sealed shut is because of the crust (lol), pleading with myself to get out of bed to do those “burpees” (or up downs as they call them in football), “planks” for the abs, lunges for the thighs that…well we won’t go there and push-ups (which I hate). After that I go upstairs to wake up the baby (13 years old, 5’7” and gorgeous) but of course she is already dressed in her school uniform, hair up in a cute bun with a little bling pin in it. After the shower and primpin’ (if you can call cold water facial wash (which I hate) and coco butter on the skin primpin) I’m downstairs to feed the pooch, make a bowl of cereal and pack my lunch.

We are out the door by 6:00am, warming the car and getting prepared for the trek to the city. My daughter and I listen to Steve Harvey in the morning and we always try to catch his morning inspiration which usually leads into chats with the baby about lifes choices, always staying true to herself and continuing to walk towards her dreams. Then we laugh at him, joke and dance our way to her school. I drop her off and I’m on my way to my job still listening to Steve Harvey and cracking up.

I need to keep laughing because I’m about to have to find a parking spot where there are few especially with alternate side of the street parking rules in affect. I’m driving around and around and then JINKIES (I know it doesn’t fit I but I like to say it just because…yes I love Velma from Scooby-doo) I found a spot. I must say that I am rarely incensed. I can count on one hand all the times that I was beside myself with anger but today was the day. I pulled up in front of the spot, started backing up and this woman with a little e-car pulled into “MY” spot and parked her car. The way she did it was with such grace I can now give her kudos for being so smooth. She looked up and saw that I was backing up and attempted to back her car as far as it could go to let me get in front of her but I was backing into a spot that was behind a driveway and my car could not fit. All of a sudden, I was INCENSED. I mean, I was heated. I have not said some of the words I said out loud in a long time and I know she was able to read my lips because I think I made sure of it but I was too INCENSED to be sure. It was like an out of body experience. I let her have it (well kinda, if you call yelling and screaming in my car letting her have it). I was so angry and I have not been to that place in a looooonnng time. My head was about to explode as I continued to drive. I began to slowly and consciously consider what I was doing. I have to say I had to intentionally check myself and recognize (as my ATL buddy Ursula says) I was “out of order”. I have to call it divine intervention because as I was about to furiously turn the 5^th corner, God tapped me on the shoulder and made me say out loud – “that just means a better spot is going to open up for me closer to my job”. When I said those words out loud I felt such a relief come over my spirit. I was no longer driving myself. After two turns I passed my office and right in the next block I heard “slow down and park”. When I realized what was going on I was parking into a spot. Awesome!!

I had to with intention focus on my behavior. I thought about my daughter and how I could have been that angry in front of her and showed her a side of Mom that she never saw before. Now, I’m not an angel (God knows) and I have let the lip fly in front of my children but never like this. I thought about the woman and how she might have felt seeing me seething at her and mouthing some not so nice things. I thought about how awesome God is for allowing it to happen, showing me myself (bad English but you know what I mean) and rescuing me…..AGAIN!

So…the thought for today is (I know you were waiting for this) whatever you do, do it with intention. Consider the choices you make throughout your day and with intention focus on the good in you and share that with others. Honor God and honor yourself. You deserve to have peace time with yourself and focus on the energy you put out into the universe. Be good and do good always with intention. You should never do or say something without consulting Him (that’s the two seconds you have before the words come flying out, yall know what I’m talking about). The awesome thing is when you consult Him in those two seconds it changes everything for the good then you can be confident that he will say job well done.

Lovin’ you is easy,

2014-01-17T09:29:00.002-08:00

A God Awesome Day

Here’s a story that I meant to share with you in December. The experience warmed my heart and I hope it will do the same for you.

Picture this…7:30 am dropping my little baby (she’s 13 years old, gorgeous caramel colored joy, 5’7” ballet dancing, youngest child of mine) off to school. It was bitter cold outside and I walked to the bus stop to continue my travel to work. I was not in a particularly good mood because it was cold, I still had a journey before me and I was having my own little pity party. As I walked towards the bus stop I heard the cutest little voice (sort of like the cute voice of Chowder the cartoon – Google it) saying “Good morning maam”, “have a great day”, “Good morning sir”. The voice was so angelic and sweet I was immediately touched by it. As I approached the covered bus stop area, I saw the cutest sweet cheeked brown muffin sitting on the bench sending out salutations to everyone that walked past. I had an immediate smile on my face…as cold as it was I just could not help but to smile. He said to me, “Good morning maam” and I said “Good morning to you” and we both smiled at one another. He looked to be about 12 years old but his disposition was that of an old soul. The aura surrounding him was very warm.

I began to look for the bus and he said out of nowhere “Maam would you happen to have an extra bag that I can borrow? I just remembered that I’m going on a class trip today and we are not allowed to bring plastic bags”. I thought to myself what an odd request and why would anyone deny this sweet pea of carrying whatever bag he could on their trip…shame on that school. I said I don’t think so and my heart melted because I wanted to do nothing but help this sweet brown muffin. I then told him I would look in my bag to see if I had something he could use. As I started to look I thought of my Mom. We call her the bag lady (SMILE MOM J). She would always carry a bag within a bag within a bag and we always made fun of her but she was always prepared. For a few seconds I panicked. I was telling myself I know dag on well I don’t have a bag in here, I’m not the bag lady, I’m her daughter why in the world would I have a bag for this angel. Dang it…I’m not prepared!! God help me!! I looked over at his little sweet face and started digging in my bag again. Tell me why in the bottomless pit I call a pocket book was this little nylon pouch. As I reached for it, I again thought of my Mom and smiled….(even over 1600 miles away she is still awesomely helping her child… gotta love that woman!!). Side note: My mother gave my daughters and I these little black and white paisley nylon pouches 5 years ago as stocking stuffers. Inside the pouch was a nylon bag about the size of a grocery bag. She told us always carry this in your pocket book you never know when you will need an extra bag. Of course I said, I’m not the bag lady but…SMILE).

I was so excited perhaps a little too excited because I startled the little angel when I said “LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!” I opened the pouch and gave him the bag. His little eyes twinkled and he said “Wow that’s awesome, thank you so much”. He start putting his little sandwich and snacks in the bag with a smile of peace on his face. Then I remembered that I had the pouch and I told him “take this pouch and when you finish with the bag you can fold it up and put it inside. Always keep it in your bookbag in case you need it again.” His smile got brighter and he said “that’s so cool and it’s pretty too”. Yes…come on now…I know that little tear is lingering on the side of your face, its ok let it drop cause I sure did. My spirit was officially lifted.

Just when you think God is not paying attention, he sends you sweet little reminders (even in brown muffin sizes) to remind you he loves you. This little brownie brightened my day and just when I thought God could not reveal his goodness to me anymore, I listened to the conversation the little one was having on the bus with his buddies and one of them said “hey man that’s a pretty bag”.

Yeah…I know…full on tears right now!!!!!!!! Go ahead I will wait a minute for you to get a tissue (song from jeopardy goes here…..J).

Reminder:

Angels come in all shapes and sizes, big packages and little ones you just need to pay attention. Lend a hand, a kind word or a bag to someone today…it will make someone else feel awesome and you will too!

Thanks Mom!!

Lovin’ you is easy.

Happy New Year

2014-01-07T13:29:00.002-08:00

So...one would think the best way to start or prepare for a New Year would be to make resolutions. These goals or promises that we make every year prepare us with optimism and help us feel encouraged and rejuvenated, right? They give us a goal to work towards, an aspiration to target or possibly something to keep us focused. I'll tell you what.....they bring on too much stress for me. I've found that I have become so focused on what I didn't do the past year that I can't think straight for the New Year. When I began to think about preparing my a new list I was disheartened that I have a list from last year with only two items half way crossed out, a few big stars next to the "I really mean I'm going to do this" items and a bucket list of changes that never came to fruition. So with that I vow from the rooftop of the tallest building in the NYC..................NO MORE RESOLUTIONS!! Yup, I said it. I'm not trying to let the stress of completing a list depress me into this new year of opportunity. I have and will continue to change my mind set about my current aspirations and will remain focused to pursuing the happy. Yes I said it the happy.

We run around feeling upset and depressed about life's challenges not recognizing we have come as far as we are because of triumphs. You can only change a situation, outcome or mindset if you choose to. We have a creator that is able to do what we cannot (Ephesians 3:20) and as we give up control over the things we struggle with and release it to Him, He will do the unimaginable (Galatians 2:20). How about living knowing that there are unimaginable possibilities? Why not make the choice to just do. Be confident in your choices this year not only for yourself but for others as you reach out to lend a hand (cause you know you feel encouraged when you lend a hand, right?). Tell someone there are unimaginable possibilities that can unfold for them and encourage them to keep on keepin' on (paying homage to the 70’s always). Small steps toward the possibilities bring you closer to them but no step at all leaves you with regrets (and we'll have none of that of that this year).

This New Year brings fresh new opportunities so think outside the box, conquer great mountains and live this year without RESOLUTIONS!!

Lovin' you is easy,

Intimate String

2013-10-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

Intimate String

A few years ago I met with some special women in my inner circle and discussed the possibility of starting a not for profit organization for women. The concept of this organization was to uplift, inspire and empower women socially, economically and politically (especially women of color). In a previous post I mentioned a “wise friend”, she was present at that meeting. When we began to discuss the topic of the relationship between mothers and their children (in her infinite wisdom) she stated “there is such an intimate string between mothers and their children”. We were intrigued. She went on to say that after a child is born the connection much like the umbilical cord is not severed. The bond between mother and child is so strong that at times mothers don’t realize they cripple their children when they don’t require or allow them to become or expand their own self-sufficiency. Recently I reflected on this very point with regards to my own children. Of course being the mother of four totally different individuals, I had to recognize how my role as mom played into their growth, knowledge, understanding of self and value. I had to check to see whether or not I was corrupting my “intimate string” by not being a ‘nagging Mom” (which is something I am definitely not J) or enforcing my own dreams on them because it had some connection to who I was in years gone by or even if I was lovin’ them up too much (if that’s possible). I had to revisit my childhood and understand what things at different stages of my life I was seeking and how I could ensure that my own children had no lack in those particular areas. After my historic trip down memory lane, I realized that I had to be a blabber mouth. I had to talk about things that were taboo both to my sons and daughters. I had to impress upon them morals of kindness, sensitivity and compassion. I had to stress the importance of valuing who you are and being a blessing to people.

As mothers it is our role to uplift, inspire and empower ourselves and the intimate string between us and our children. God gives us the wisdom to know (the "mother-wit") even though raising them does not come with an instruction manual. It’s a challenge to ensure that we are making the right decisions but when we see that our children have their own “Aha moments” about things we have shared we recognize that it was all worth it.

High-five your children today…let them know you recognize them in all their cute, sometimes obnoxious and loving ways. Then give yourself a high five (It’s not silly, I do it all the time J) to recognize yourself for being an awesome Mom, auntie, grandma, cousin (Just high-five yourself for being you!).

Lovin’ you is easy,

2013-09-23T12:29:00.001-07:00

What is truth?

Sometimes we try to rationalize our truth. What does that mean? If our own truth is not what everyone else feels it should be, we manipulate it, redirect it and change it to ensure that it fits with the criteria of others. We undermine everything that we know will reflect who we really are and micro-manage ourselves into a comfortable little box in which we pretend to be comfortable. Who can we blame when we place our own truth in the hands of others? Do we hope that we can periodically step in and ask permission to make adjustments to it? Do we try the subtle approach and ask nicely to have input on the presentation of our own truth?

Decide today that fitting in a box and stifling your truth is no longer something that you will participate in. Decide today that you are a unique individual with your own mind, hopes, dreams and expectations and although they may not align with the ideals of those around you they are grounded in the acknowledgement of your own truth. Decide today that if nothing else about you is known that you have a God-given purpose which is to be as authentic and true as you can be.

You will shine brightly when you wear your truth on your sleeve and share it with others. Preaching and Learning…

Lovin’ you is easy,

Fix what’s broken

2013-08-21T12:45:00.005-07:00

I have learned that in order to be authentic, one must be transparent. Transparency is defined in Merriam Webster in part as “easily seen through”. That I understand but what does it mean to be authentic? Whose definition do we follow? Merriam-Webster says authentic is “not false or imitation… real”. When we decide that being authentic is how we want to live our lives and share who we are with others, what does that mean for us? Do we lose who we really are because we are attempting to stage our lives so that it can appear that everything is all good? Or do we grow because we make the conscious decision to open up and be “real” so that others will be able to emulate or learn that freedom comes from truth.

I am not suggesting that we live our lives as we see on reality tv (because what a mess that is) BUT……if the cameras followed you around what would be revealed? Now I’m not saying that I would want that because I do like my private life but I would want to live a life that IF the cameras were following me it would uplift and inspire others to heal and change (I’m not there yet yall… J). Whatever those issues are that keep you from living a life of transparency you must heal from them. Choose to fix what’s broken so that your life can be a testimony to those around you like ummm perhaps your children and others in your “circle of trust”. The ability to have the characteristic of transparency is a tough and ultimately challenging decision but I am certain it is well worth it. We strive to have things that validate who we are but it is who we are that validates us.

Yup….here comes the challenge…in your journal (because I know you keep one or you’re going to run out and get one now, right?) Write down one thing that is broken. It could be a relationship, negative thoughts you have about yourself, your tone (you know you have THAT TONE) and how you are going to fix it. As you begin to fix what’s broken, cross it off the list and then pat yourself on the back. Revel in the fact that you are awesome and purpose driven. You are on a mission not to save the world but yourself and in doing so you may be able to help others.

Now get to it!!

Lovin’ you is easy,

O

2013-08-15T13:16:00.001-07:00

Ok so....I wasn't going to comment on the Oprah in Switzerland story but after talking with a younger colleague I had to write. We got into a full blown discussion about it and she just missed the point. Since I now know that sometimes you have to pull up your big girl panties and walk away, I decided to do just that. Here is an excerpt of how the discussion went...we will call her X...

X:    Hey there, what's going on?

Me: I'm well. What's good?

X:    Nothin' much...did you hear the story about Oprah Winfrey?

Me: Yes, I did. (I have found that you can learn a lot about people if you just shut up and listen).

X:    Girl that was crazy wasn't it?

Me: .................................PAUSE..........................awkward silence........breathing....3, 2, 1.

X:    I mean what is wrong with those people? How in the world did they not know that was Oprah?

Me: (me talking in my head AHA!!! I knew it was going to go there) I'm not sure. What do you     think? (Yes....I was still on PAUSE).

X:    Everyone knows Oprah...really what is wrong with them? And even Oprah said she had on all of her "Oprah regalia" and they should have known it was her.

Me: So, you take issue with the fact that they didn't notice Oprah?

X:    Yes, I mean really.....OPRAH!!

Me:   I see.

X:    Oprah has the money and she should be able to spend it however she likes even if it’s on a $35,000 pocket book.

Me: True

X:    I mean Oprah is Oprah....everyone knows her and they should have given her the bag.

Me: (I could hold out no longer)   So you're telling me the real issue here is that the salesperson in the store did not notice Oprah and you are ticked off?

X:     And your not?

Me:   Ummm...no I’m not. Not about that.

X:    Why not?

Me: The issue is not that they didn't notice Oprah.

X:    How do you figure that?

Me:  The issue is that they did not think that Black Woman could afford to buy from their store. It had nothing to do with the fact that the Black Woman was Oprah.

I could go on for hours but I'm going to end the dialogue between me and X there. I can tell you I could not bring her around and decided to walk away. Why are we so blind? Black woman are still looked upon as second class citizens despite all that we do: look up Patricia Bath, Mae Jemison, Minnie Joycelyn Elders, Edith Irby Jones, Maya Angelou, Angela Davis. We are intelligent, unique, loving, exceptional, diverse, charismatic, and stinkin’ AWESOME! We hold down the house, are the back bone to our men, run businesses, shoot we even help to run the WHITE HOUSE. Read the archive blog: Who cares?

Hold your head up Black Woman…you matter despite their perception. If only we could get this through to more of the new generation of Black Woman.

High five a Black Woman today and tell them they are awesome!!

Lovin’ you is easy,

J

Connections

2013-08-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was getting on the train yesterday afternoon and saw the most interesting thing. There was a priest (of the Caucasian persuasion) dressed in his clerical collar and his Cassock (tell me why I remembered the name of the clothing from the show The Flying Nun…however I did check online to confirm the spelling). He was sitting rather comfortably on the A train enjoying the ride. Side note - Why is it that when we see a "man of the cloth" we straighten up? We are like oh shoot he's gonna tell on me so I better act like a child of God for the few minutes he is staring at me. Lol At least we feel like he is staring right into our souls even if he barely notices us. It was hilarious watching other people get on the train pushing others out of the way and coming to a dead stop once they noticed him sitting on the train. Back to the blog - So anyway, seeing him on the train was not the most interesting thing. He was sitting next to a brown girl and.....wait for it....they were sharing....headphones. Yes she had one side in her ear and he had the other one in his ear. They were bobbing their heads to the same tune. Isn't New York magical? Where else would you see something like that? I thought it was just awesome. It's just a reminder of how God connects us. He can use music to cross color lines, ethnicities, and politics. I mean music transcends it all. I just thought seeing them was so awesome that I had to smile.

Ok so what's my point? I recently found some papers and felt compelled after discovering them to share a poem with you. I have not shared my poem book with anyone so you are truly getting a special treat...YOUR WELCOME!... J I wrote this poem back in the day, well actually it was April 25, 1983. Yeah I know I was only 2 and just a sweet little babe, but I was brilliant. J Now wait this is a no judgment blog so don’t start thinking “man she is a pack-rat”. So what if I keep a few things. (Interesting Side note - My daughter who is a lover of words like her Momma was born on April 25 but not in 1983). My love affair with music perfectly connects with what I saw on the train. So here it goes…

He touched me again and I liked it

What do I do with this feeling?
Not sure who I can tell
What will they think of me
It’s my fault I let him in.
Every time he knocked I opened willingly…who can I tell?
He creeps under the covers with me and we do that dance…I’m elated.
I think of him all the time
I can’t get him out of my mind
Why won’t he just go away…it would be easier for me
Then I won’t have to tell
He creeps
Through the chaos of the day or the silence of the night and I am under his spell.
I can’t escape him
Oh no here he comes and I just………………….LET GO
Because
I have no choice but to give in
He got me
And I let him
Music has again touched my soul.

Listen to some music and dance today!

Lovin’ you is easy,

Obituary

2013-07-31T09:09:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with a wise friend of mine. I talk to her often and with her calming spirit she always leaves me with a word or phrase to think about. At our last think tank session she told me “write your obituary”. I was like...wait...hold up...do you know something I don't? (And you know I said it with attitude and a little bit of fear). Are you about to take me out? Did you peak into my future and find out some things and this is the best way you see fit to tell me, friend? What you tryin' to say? She looked me straight in the eye and said "yes I know some things and you my dear are not living in your purpose even though you wear it on your sleeve everyday". I was taken aback for a minute and really did not know how to respond. Then she said, "write your obituary then live it". Again I could not respond. I was now in my thoughts not really hearing what was going on around me. I was picturing someone standing attempting to tell my story and describing the person that I was not. I was slightly offended that they did not have much to say and that it wasn't the story that I wanted told about me nor was it the satisfying life I know I should have lived.

We all have a mission, a purpose, a goal. Everyone has something that their heart is telling them to do. Ask yourself, what is that thing? Meditate and put some thought into you and do it. If money was no object what would you do today? If the bills were taken care of what magnificent thing would you encounter and how would you let the world know how well you are living?

Live your obituary…. Don’t let someone else define, describe or try to tell your story. Write it yourself and live it.

Here’s the challenge…I know you were waiting for this :) Write your obituary and comment back on Mocha Minute. I’m interested to know how you wish to start living your life today. I can’t wait to hear of your exciting endeavors. We are going to keep this going and may even add a “look what I did” section on the blog so you can post pictures of you doing something amazing that is all about you. Now get to it!

Lovin’ you is easy,

Pretty Girl

2013-07-24T12:43:00.002-07:00

Hi there,

Amazing...things from your past can have a positive affect on your present. Hmmm....I like the way that sounds. Maybe I will start a phrase section on this blog called Dynamic thoughts of the day!! Keep a look out for that...ok?

I digress....

I have for many years had a grudge against my brother. I know, I know but, I thought I had a legitimate excuse. For years everything around me told me that my brown skin, kinky hair and a big back side was unpretty but my brothers light skin and hazel eyes was more than acceptable. My parents always told me that I was beautiful so there will be no therapy sessions bashing my parents going on here or anywhere for that matter. They ensured that I was in empowering circles of girls both brown and not so brown so that I could get a good social mixture and be a well rounded member of society. The problem was many of the girls that looked like me felt the same way I did. Brown and unpretty.

So, I went on in life not feeling very pretty or comfortable in my own skin. From rockin' my mini afro to wearing braid extensions, I felt ugly and could not get past it for years. (And by the way, the cat calls on the sidewalk did not help my esteem either). I thought when would I feel pretty? When would I feel like I did not have to be in line with what society says about who I am and how I should look? When would I be comfortable to wear my braids if I chose to or rock that all natural look?

Well I must say, learning to love yourself is truly a journey. I have developed a much needed love of me and it was not an easy road. But thank God, I've been changed (I won't start singing or maybe I will...stay tuned...) You wanna know what helped my transition? My girls. My daughters, the ladies of my life. I realized that I had to become the woman I wanted them to see. I had to force myself to look inside and find the girl I was, understand why she felt the way she did and embrace all that made her special. I had to love that girl because if I didn't how could I tell my girls to love themselves lookin' all fabulous like their mama (BIG CHEESY GRIN WOULD GO HERE! J).

Inner love, outer strength (Another one of those dynamic thoughts...I'm on a role here...J). Embrace who you are. Love that chocolate, mocha, caramel, almond skin, that beautiful thick hair, those full lips, hips and thighs. Revel in it! And while your lovin' on you your showing another brownie... that fabulous comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Love on a brown girl today!

Lovin' you is easy,

Outside the box

2013-07-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody,

I know...its been a minute.....ya da, ya da, ya da!! :)

I remember being in elementary school and a friend of mine had some fly platform shoes (ok....and what? you liked them back in the day too!!) and I wanted to wear them so bad. I told myself I would only ask her twice because three times would be begging and a fly girl would never beg (grade school logic I still use today). She told me that I could borrow them not knowing that her foot was at least a half size smaller than mine. I took the shoes home, put those bad boys on and I just knew that I was the flyest of the fly. I mean I was BOSS (as my dad use to say in his Don Cornelius cool way). I set out my clothes for the next day lovin' on my borrowed platforms and my burnt orange Willie Smith outfit (as you can see I don’t mind dating myself...J).

I woke up overly excited about rollin’ in my ensemble. I got dressed, checked myself in the mirror and started on my way. The first block from my house I was chillin', in a little pain but nothing a fly girl couldn't handle – shoot beauty is pain, right? By the fourth block I felt like I was in some medieval torture chamber with laryngitis so I couldn’t scream for help. So you know the walk to school was brutal. When I got there I didn’t even care about the compliments, all I can remember doing was running to the back of the class where I had some slippers hidden that I happily put on and in an instant gave my friend back her platforms with a smile. I told her they didn’t work with my outfit (the color was a little off….yeah right!).

Why do we try to fit ourselves in boxes that we don't belong and why do we fear stepping outside of the box to embrace who we really are? I knew I could not fit those shoes but because everyone would think they were fly I put them on without regard for myself. If I could encourage one girl who like me had self-doubt allowing fear to encapsulate me and keep me in a box, I would say walk in your true self and if that means you have to say no to things that don't impress your spirit or uplift your soul then so be it. Let the true you shine and how awesome a gift that would be to yourself. Oh, yes...you do deserve to gift yourself. SMILE!

I will leave you with this....hurting feet can only take short walks but comfortable feet can take you farther than you could ever imagine.

Lovin' you is easy, just do it!

Take good care,

J

Decisions

2012-06-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

We all have them... We have to figure out if this school is right for my child, is this the right job, this career, this home, this mate. We are always faced with decisions. What is your thought process? Do you write down the pros and cons and when you have more pros then cons you move forward? Do you talk to loved ones or friends to help you come to a decision or do you use their input to formulate your own answer?

We try not to make rash decisions by thinking them out, making a plan and waiting for just the right moment in time but before you blink your eye the clock has ticked and time is of the essence with your answer. And forget about patience...who came up with that word? It's a word that makes you quiver. Your outer self may be saying I have to have patience and wait but you know your insides are saying THE HECK WITH THAT I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!

Choosing to move forward is not a bad thing. Change brings out the best in us. Growth allows us to change into the person we are purposed to be. Give your self a pat on the back when you are able to step back, assess the situation and knowing that your moving forward is done with you in mind, you are making the right choice. You deserve to be ok with your decision and it's ok if it does not turn out the way you had hoped. Lessons learned from our decisions help to shape who we are.

Allow your decisions to help shape you but make sure they include you.

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Watch What You Say

2012-06-20T07:54:00.001-07:00

You know how sometimes you just say stuff? You don't think about it and the words just fall off your tongue only to realize later that you may have said something that has hurt someone’s feelings.

My mother recently told me about a special moment she had in the car with my daughter. My daughters saying (when my mother is about to commit a barrage of road rage phrases to others...smile!!) is "use your words grandma". In other words, she is telling her grandmother to choose what you say carefully in this moment. I think that is so important coming from an 11 year old. "Use your words".

Your words are very powerful. They can move people. They can inspire people. They can uplift people and how you use them can change your life.

The Bible says, "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body". (Proverbs 16:24 ESV) That is so awesome!!

Today's challenge: How can you use your words to promote, uplift and encourage? How can you use your words to positively affect the life of someone else? And most importantly, how can you use your words to affect change in your own life?

Think about it....then speak it!!

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Sisterhood

2012-06-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

Loving, Supportive. Empowering. Friend. Just there!! That's what sisterhood is to me. I almost forgot how important it is to let your Sistas know you love them. How could I be so silly. I cherish the feeling of knowing that I'm truly loved and cherished by my girls. So this message is to all my Sistas. MUAH!!!

I love you....busy schedules, hectic days, tears and smiles, I love you!

Afros, curls, locs, braids, perms, weaves and wigs. You are da bomb, struttin' in your heels or chillin' in your kicks. I love you!

Although sometimes weeks go by and we don't talk, please remember you are always in my thoughts. I love you!

I smile at the thought of you and giggle at our past, remembering the days long ago when we shared double dutch dreams and growing up too fast. (BIG CHEESY GRIN) I love you!

Sharing ideas, thoughts, hopes and listening, listening, listening....my Sista, your dope...LOL!! I love you!

Challenges, struggles, pain and anguish. The emotional rollercoaster that we call life sometimes get in the way, but my Sista my "couch" is here for you to crash on any day. I love you!

Know that I'm here, know that I care, know that I will give it to you straight from the hip. Cause your my Sista...and that is it.

I LOVE YOU!! Don't let a day go by thinking otherwise..... MY SISTA'S I LOVE YOU!!

SMILE

Lovin' you is easy :)

J

Back In It

2012-06-14T08:34:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I have posted a message. I used the many things going on in life as excuses for jotting down thoughts but no more. I am here and I am jotting!! :)

Life......what in the world is it all about? Husbands and children, jobs and schedules, is that all there is? We all want to know what are we supposed to do and we can spend a lifetime asking others or seeking the answers outside of ourselves. That is the challenge and I think challenges are a good thing. Find out what it is beyond the love and security of family that makes you smile. Is it writing (or jotting) down your thoughts? Is it sharing a moment with a friend? Is it a warm bath? Is it interior design or renovating a home? Find out what things in life make you happy and live in those things. Use those details and joys to bring out a better you. It may take others some time to get use to you giving a part of yourself to something for yourself , but what kind of life do you have if your not enjoying it?

Go out and live in your joy and I am certain the outcome will be a better you!!

Lovin' you is easy,

J

What the hell.....?

2011-03-08T14:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, first let me say, I'm all for learning and our children should definitely be exposed to our history. Slavery is a part of our history. Our babies should know the plight of those that came before them and why they are able to live as they do today.

Now, I'm not one prone to swear unless someone pulls my cord....but what the @$%&***?????? A teacher from Chapelfield Elementary in Ohio decided to teach the children about slavery. Not by reading a book, showing a video or just discussing it in class. She decided to have a Mock Slave Auction in her class and humilitated one brown child in particular. Please click on the link below, I am very anxious to hear your comments. I have one and its simply this...THAT CHIICK NEEDS TO BE FIRED AND BROUGHT UP ON CHARGES!! You be the judge!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPGPRzuKr3E

J

Being ok with it...

2011-01-25T16:50:00.000-08:00

You know how you try to live your life in a way that outsiders would view it as DA BOMB! You try to say the right things, always look immaculate, act right in front of people and make sure that their image of you is pristine. Why do we do it? I mean its tiring. We all have faults and not one of us is perfect. We should all take a stand this year to be who we are and be ok with it!! I have decided that I'm going to be OK with my life, my choices (bad or good), decisions (made quickly or delayed), my hips and my hair. Yes, I did add hips and hair because Momma has grown some hips and Momma is all natural with her hair.

I was listening to Joyce Meyer and she said, "how you set your mind determines what happens in your day, your relationships" (and I added your life). It's time we set our minds to be ok with who we are and what we bring to the table. I may not have a new car or live in a mansion but if someone needs a ride I can get them there and a place to stay I have a couch for them to rest on for a minute (emphasis on a minute...lol). I'm ok with who I am. It was a journey but I realize that I am fearfully and wonderfully made without hesitation or mistake. I have a purpose and as long as I believe, trust and have faith in God nothing else matters.

Will you walk with me today and be ok with you? You have the victory so go out and walk in it!!

Lovin' you is easy,

J

What is family?

2010-07-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, cousins. We know, love and sometimes can't stand them. We can't choose them, but they are the ones that shape who we are and validate our connection by blood. We have reunions to reconnect, marriages that bring in new family members and little ones that help grow the family.

There is a another aspect of family that we sometimes forget and that is the bond between friends. We develop the connections sometime as early as pre-k. We meet and decide that "hey you are going to be my friend" and sometimes those friendships last forever. I met my first close childhood friend Laura in pre-k. It feels weird calling her a friend after over 30 years because she is my sister. She has become so much more to me that calling her a friend just does not suit our bond. The same for Sheree (aka sista love) and the short list goes on.

Some people may think that women have it easy bonding. Some say since we are emotional creatures it is easier for us to make friends then men which is ridiculous. Men can get out on the basketball court, hammer away at each other, walk away slapping fives and become best buddies right there. Women if they are not a part of a sport don't seem to have that same camaraderie. We have the hang ups about our bodies, our hair and our faith that keep us more than an arms reach from one another.

I sincerely thought when I moved to Georgia I would have that issue but boy was I wrong. I have met some of the most phenomenal women in my life in Georgia. There are several but one of which has proven to me that the bond of sisterhood is more than a title but a matter of the heart and her name is Ursula. My sister is one woman that has continuously empowered, encouraged and most importantly has kept me in her prayers throughout my trek to Georgia. She is there whenever I call and I'm not a good sleeper so you know I pester her in the middle of the night but she will still give me a word that will keep me encouraged. Her awesome gift for allowing the spirit to move her and carefully guide her words of wisdom is a gift and a treasure that we all need as part of our family.

Our families are limitless and not confined by the titles the dictionary has given them. People come into and out of our lives but family members never depart. Be encouraged today by your extended family. Those that impact your day, fulfill your life and most importantly empower your spirit. Call them and tell them you love them. I have a shortlist of those extended family members but none the less they chose me and I choose them.

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Self-expression

2010-03-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

Today was a lazy morning. The kids are on spring break so I did not have the normal hustle and bustle to get them up and off the school. So I slowly got myself ready for work but I really took it easy. I had a nice cup of tea and watch Kimora. She is hysterical. This was a two part episode one with her moving and the other one of her giving birth to her new baby boy. She really puts on a show but what I find interesting about her is that although she is this former top model, now busines mogul she is not afraid of showing her softer side. She is a busy working Mom running her own business, and running it well but keeping the focus on the needs and desires of her family first and thats what I dig about her.

Outside of my once in a while viewing of Kimora, I really don't watch very much tv and if I am watching it's usually a home improvement show and it drives the family crazy. The great thing about it though is it has sparked the artistic bone with my girls. They are very unique and expressive. They will at times sit down and watch a show with me and make suggestions about how they either like or dislike the color scheme or how they would have made the kitchen more grand. Definitely ladies after my own heart. Visionaries in the making.

As parents I think that's what its all about, providing and allowing different views from all aspects of life to filter into our childrens lives. They should be able to see things and express their ideas freely and openly. Our job is to provide the whiteboard and some direction but to then allow them to express the vision of their minds eye as uniquely and as captivating as they can be. My oldest daughter is a writer and the youngest a dancer. Need I say more?

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Smiles

2010-02-26T11:01:00.000-08:00

Just sitting here thinking about my plans for the weekend. It never seems like there are enough hours in the day to get things done. With a husband and 4 children (3 of which live at home) the day goes by faster than I can blink my eye. I sometime sit at the end of the day, (well the end of the normal day should be about 9pm but mind strings along to well after midnight) and wonder what I got accomplished today? Did I complete all or some of the tasks on my to do list? Did I spend some quality time with my maker? Did I make someone smile? Did I laugh? I added those last two things because they are a must for me everyday. I have to make someone smile and I MUST laugh at least once. That is the only way I keep my balance then if I didn't complete everything on the list at least I know someone was happy today.

And the challenge for this weekend is to spend some time sharing your gifts, talents and love with someone. Make someone smile this weekend and have fun doing it. It's infectious...go for it!!

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Day late and a dollar short

2010-01-29T07:46:00.000-08:00

We all know that phrase. But do we realize how true it is? We do things and don't even take notice that we were setting a bad example to the little ones that watch out every move.

My baby (9) had to be in school this morning early because she was auditioning for a little event they will be having at school. She is my early bird. She gets up and gently kisses me on the cheek at 6:30 am every Saturday morning. With crust in my eyes I smile and try to ask without assaulting her with morning breath, did you eat breakfast? and she gently says, "no, I'm waiting for you" (too sweet). So anyway, she told me yesterday about her event this morning and I told her remind me in the morning so we are not late. It wasn't until we were in the car on the way to school that I realized, we were just on time. I looked into her big beautiful eyes and understood why she had that little sad face on and I vowed, from that minute I will take heed to the message, a day late and a dollar short.

I promised myself and that sweet little one that I am now challenged with respecting not only my time but the time of others. I will make a difference with my dollar by supporting someone in need instead of buying that snicker bar that I seem to crave about 2'oclock in the afternoon (pray for me on that one). I will stick to my dreams and plans because of their importance to me and I will not let the naysayers influence my purpose driven path. These are yet the small things that I have vowed for my life this year. I have made affirmations to change the things about me that I don't like and to let the things about me I love shine. Being late, overcommitting and frivilous with my spending are my issues, what are yours? No resolutions this year only affirmations that will change my life and influence the lives of those I surround myself with.

I challenge you to a commitment of change. Make a commitment this year to value yourself and others. Be true to you and being true to others will come naturally.

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Christmas is over!!

2009-12-28T08:04:00.001-08:00

Hey everybody...Christmas 2009 is over! How many of you are overjoyed? I know I am. Put your hands up and give a big Ho, Ho, Ho!!!! Now don't get me wrong, I love the Christmas season. I love hearing sermons about Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, sharing gifts with loved ones and watching the children scramble with bated breath to see if they got what they asked for. This year I have to give shout out to Half.com (for the dvd collection) and Game Stop (for the DS collection). My two Divas wrote their short lists early and were able to receive just about everything on it. But I'm glad it's over. With it comes too much stress. What to get the mother who has everything or the son who wants nothing (gotta love 'em - go Les). It was a hard task as it is every year but I must bid it adieu! Au Revoir, Christmas 09'.

I vow this year to start and finish my Christmas shopping before the end of June. I mean it. I'm not going to wait until the last minute to buy my gifts and I will be done long before anyone I know. Come on now.....you know although Sistas get the job done, we are known for taking our time with just about everything. But not me, not this year. A new year a new me. Pray for me yall!! SMILE.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and I will post again to wish you a special New Year!

Lovin' You is easy,

J

Who cares?

2009-12-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

Tiger Woods...need I say more...we have been inundated with the story about his transgressions and I hope your with me when I say, WHO CARES? Who cares if he had alleged affairs with white women instead of black women? Would the offense be any less painful and would the press about it be the same?

The point is he had these alleged affairs and the women happened to be white. Black woman don't carry the torch nor do we care that black men with money consistently choose to marry white woman. I believe we have grown to love ourselves enough to know he is missing out on a confident (Oprah Winfrey), intelligent (Michelle Obama), dynamic (Alfre Woodard), funny (Mo'Nique), a mentor (Valerie Jarrett), determined (Tina Turner), proud (Maya Angelou), grace (Diahnn Carroll), beautiful (Gabriel Union), and fierce (Beyonce). Gone are the days when we cut our eyes at black men when they have a white woman on their arm. Frankly its their choice and who cares?

Lovin' you is easy,

J

Rediscovery

2009-10-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

I recently spoke with a friend who had much like everyone been hit by financial challenges. She was amazingly calm and collective about her situation and she remained prayerful for change. The thing I admire most about her is that she never loses faith. She said I'm just going to keep on living right and I know things will change. Sure enough she went back to her dream of her own consulting firm and she got a client who is offering her an opportunity she can't pass up. Wouldn't it be great if we all lived in the now? We can't change the mistakes we made but we can learn from them and continue to grow. Understanding that there will be challenges in our lives but reconizing that they are not much more than a bump in the road to our rediscovery of self. I challenge you to move forward and don't look back. Live right and watch the world around you change. Make the commit to yourself whether it be to go back to school, change careers or become an entrepreneur and live in that decision. You will be glad you did!

Lovin' you is easy,

J