This year has been a bit shit.

I’ve spent far too much time contemplating, whining, thinking, moaning, wondering what to do and generally feeling sorry for myself. Which, I assure you, is very unlike me.

It’s time to get back to normal.

It’s time to do what I’ve always done: if I’m not happy about something, change it; if I want to do something, just do it.

So, in the spirit of this I won’t say any more about this year – I’ve self-indulged more than enough on this blog already. Instead, I’ll tell you what I intend to do about it in the year ahead:

Be kind to myself, look after my health, fitness and wellbeing. (This sits in the number one spot because it’s important to remember I can’t do any of the other things without this basic one.)

Spend more time with my family – Abbey will be home with me full-time (except for 5 hours a week of kindergarten) and I want to make the most of that time.

Focus on our family goals, and work hard to get us closer to them.

Keep my own goals in mind and do something to get there.

Be very strict with myself about what I take on and how my time is spent.

Make some sacrifices – some things I like to do may have to take a backseat so that I can work on longer term plans.

These are the things that will have me sitting here this time next year saying how proud of myself I am. Bring it on.

In the meantime, I need to make one of those sacrifices right now: I’m taking a little time away from blogging to focus on life. There’s lots to do – around the house, in preparation for Christmas and to get myself geared up for next year, including setting up my own business and studying an online course to help with my writing goals.

I hope the end of the year is kind to you all. Thanks so much for reading during 2011 – it’s been wonderful seeing you all here and chatting with you. I’m looking forward to another year of it coming up!

Today, a guest poster with a beautifully touching story about how her life began – and how it’s shaped the who she is now. This person is a good friend of mine, and wants to stay anonymous on this one, but I hope you take as much from her story as I have…

I have a story in my life that has shaped every inch of my being. I’ve wanted to share this story for so long but haven’t been able to put words around it. I don’t want to put words around it on my own blog either as I don’t know how I’d feel if my Mum read this post. With last week’s White Ribbon Day and reading a number of articles about abuse I’ve increasingly had thoughts swimming around in my head and weighing down my heart.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my Mum cowered down, sobbing, curled up like a wounded animal on our lounge room floor after my Dad had stormed through the house he had abandoned us in. I remember the energy he had left behind as the door slammed behind him. I would have been about 3, the same age as my eldest child now. My Mum would have been about 21. Whether he actually hit her on that occasion I don’t remember, nor do I know the circumstances that caused his rage on that particular occasion.

I didn’t grow up in a particularly stable environment.  Actually, that’s playing things down a bit, it was actually a bit bipolar in a way….when Dad wasn’t around, which was for years at a time it was a happy house with just my Mum and brother and I….when he was around it was occasionally great fun but most of the time sad and a lot of the time full of anger, a pretty typical abuse cycle really.  There were several break ups between my parents, years where they lived apart.  He wasn’t always violent, in fact physical pain was not his specialty at all, it was the emotional abuse that really caused a lot of pain.  He only ever hit me once, aged 17, when he thought I’d been out doing god knows what with my boyfriend of the time.  When he did hit me I had to go to hospital.  When he did hit me I was glad because it brought on the beginning of the end, he finally left for good and we got on with creating a family life without him.  And though he hit me only once my Mum and brother weren’t so lucky.

When they did live together he couldn’t be relied upon, even as the bread winner. Our electricity was turned off regularly, he left us with a fridge full of beer and nothing else, including no money. Every single time someone knocked at the door we worried who would be there – who did he owe money to and were they coming to collect it.  We didn’t feel safe in our own home.  He would pick a fight, undermine us, call us every vile name possible and storm out of the house for days without a phone call.  He was proud of the fact that he never rang home to tell us where he was.  He picked on me least of all but in being so horrible to the two people that meant most to me he hurt me more than when he was abusive to me.

He was a gambler, he lost the roof over our heads, literally, on several occasions, he was a womaniser and my Mum received several very unpleasant phone calls from the various women whom he slept with, he is absolutely a compulsive liar.  He’s never been able to be honest with himself let alone the people in his life.  My Mum told me she’s never cried more than when I came home from a visit with him aged 7 saying, “Mum, he’s my Dad and I know I love him but he can’t love the three of us back the same way can he? He doesn’t know how.” I clearly knew what was what from an early age.

As a result I made decisions to not be at all like him and I felt responsible for protecting my beloved other family members, I never was a “child”…..as a result my Mum is totally unable to move on with her life and find real happiness….as a result my brother ended up addicted to hardcore drugs and is now an alcoholic.  I can categorically say these things would not have happened had we not experienced his abuse.

I know WHY he is the way he is – he was raped several times as a young boy and has never been able to repair himself.  His family, devoutly Catholic, blamed him and his impishness rather than looking to the perpetrator.  That this happened to him is truly awful.  That he never got over it is understandable. That he took this sadness and anger out on the people he should have loved and protected most is something I will never understand.  He was always better to strangers than he was to his family.  He charmed them, offered them support, assistance, a smile, a kind word – things he rarely offered us.

After a certain point we all have to stand on our own two feet and I’ve accepted all of this for what it is, I’ve even accepted him in to my life to a certain extent but I remain fiercely loyal and protective towards my Mum, even though in some ways I was equally as angry with her for bringing him back in to our lives so often.

If my Dad read this account of my life he would totally disagree, he has never been honest with himself about his treatment of us.  He’s remarried fairly recently to a genuinely lovely woman and he seems to have recreated himself for her and her grown up children.  I can see them looking at me with an accusatory eye as to why I am not warm to him, that I blatantly prefer and seek out my Mum over him.  In some ways I wish they’d ask me why so that I could tell them the truth, though I know they won’t ask.

It has made me a person who absolutely craves stability and safety.  My husband is a rock solid man and our family life is all about creating a stable environment so that all of us can flourish.  It has made me a Mum who really understands the need to create, “roots and wings” for my children.  I want the roots for my boys to run as deep as they possibly can.  Never a day goes by when I don’t think about allowing them to flourish through knowing they’re loved and secure. It has made me who I am and in a strange way I’m incredibly grateful.

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They look boring, all desks and chairs and office doors and partitions. But the inside of an office is anything but.

I love people watching and eavesdropping on conversations, and there’s no better place to do that than in an office. Especially as a relative outsider, when everyone around you feels comfortable with each other. That’s when the best stuff can be heard.

Like the day one of the girls was bemoaning her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. They’d just found out that the boyfriend had to pay off a loan for the ex – although it took everything I had not to turn around and tell her that her boyfriend was lying to her; of course he knew a loan was in his name. The loan was for the ex-girlfriend’s boob job. And the slagging match that followed was, well, hilarious actually.

Then there was the time the men stood around comparing notes in the world’s least likely competition: whose wife had been tougher in labour. ‘It’s all about the epidural, then it was easy,’ said one. ‘Nah, mate, my missus only needed the gas… and I gave it a go too; it’s good stuff!’ I watched a third listen in and as he sat back with a smug grin on his face I knew what was coming. He waited for silence and laid down just one word: ‘NATURAL.’ There was audible shock amongst the men, and it was clear who had won. I honestly never knew it was such a badge of honour to men!

Then my inner HR geek comes out and I listen for all the clues of who’s doing well and who’s not, all tellings-off and exasperations. I have a keen sense for who’s not doing their job well, who will be quitting soon and who won’t even have the chance to quit. When someone loses the passion for what they do or where they are, it’s glaringly obvious. And it’s intriguing stuff.

One man told the girls about his weekend, relaying his activities with his family and finishing with: ‘And then I gave my wife a facial’. All the girls were impressed – ‘Aw, that’s so sweet!’ they gushed – but one spoke a little too loudly and some of the other men overheard. Much laughter ensued, and the teasing began: ‘You had a facial too! I can tell – look at your skin!’ the men jeered.

And being in the office for ‘Movember’ was odd, too – men that I had thought were nice enough, I suddenly looked at with suspicion during November. I’m sorry, I know it’s for a good cause, but those things just look creepy on most men.

Then there was the girl who got a new tattoo over the weekend, showing a photo (it was in a spot she didn’t want to share in real life) to everyone. The comparisons started, of course: look at my tattoo, oh I’ve got one too. I’m ashamed to say I participated in that conversation, upstaging them all with a ‘Well, I’ve paid $1,000 to have my tattoo removed… and it’s still there.’ I really shouldn’t admit to that, actually.

These conversations are the reason I’ll miss the office a little bit. I love working from home but I do miss some of that interaction – and eavesdropping.

So next time you think of an office job as boring, remember there’s much more going on in there than first meets the eye.

I’ve had a bee in my bonnet ever since Abbey was old enough to eat solid foods.

Back then, at the tender age of five months, we were asked often and by many people when we were going to give her things like chocolate, ice-cream, fast food, and so on. I found myself fighting a battle that I’ve fought daily ever since.

It occurs to me sometimes – given that Abbey was a beautifully chubby baby and toddler – perhaps people think my food stance is weight-related. That is nowhere near the truth. What this is about is teaching good habits, and just being healthy.

It’s about not just doing what others do; we’re raising our daughter in what we feel is the best way for us and for her. Just doing the best we can with the values we choose to hold as important.

There are a lot of buzz words in modern life that I struggle with. ‘Sometimes foods’ is one.

When we talk about ‘sometimes foods’ or ‘special treats’ we use the term pretty loosely. Kids are let loose at birthday parties because ‘it’s not an every day thing’. We’ll head out for lunch and have a dessert for ‘a special treat’. They’ll go to Maccas after school ‘as a treat’.

See what I’m getting at? Life is so full of treats at every turn, that it isn’t a special thing or an occasional treat anymore. ‘Sometimes foods’ are actually turning into ‘everyday foods’.

We’ve started talking to Abbey about her food choices, about how different foods make her feel and what they do. We talk about good food as something that gives us the energy to play and helps us grow. And we let her have the occasional treat. (And sometimes, when a certain mother-in-law is involved, we have no say in it at all – three serves of dessert it is!)

We gave her a bit of space at a recent birthday party to have some lollies and chips and things (not to go completely crazy with them, though!), and watched her as she did exactly what we expected: hit a sugar low and struggle to deal with the feelings that brings.

And we talked to her about it when she calmed down. We explained that’s how too much of those foods makes us feel; that a little bit is okay but too much – well, how did too much make her feel? ‘I cried,’ she said. ‘And I felt sick in my tummy.’ Yep.

She’s three. I don’t expect her to remember this one occasion forever, or even at the next party! or to let that stop her when the temptation is there. But I do believe these discussions are important.

We talk about food in relation to its purpose and the way it makes us feel, in the hope that this gives our daughter a strong foundation for her choices in the future.

Birthday parties are held all the time in a child’s world these days, and every shop we go into has a temptation of some sort. We kid ourselves that all these occasions constitute moderation, and I choose to be really mindful of that.

It’s not perfect and yes, it’s done with the ‘ideal’ in mind. It’s not a weight of expectation on her, just some assistance as she grows up. It’s not a reaction to societal issues, it’s a set of lifestyle choices for many other reasons. All of which is exactly what we each do in every other part of parenting.

And I honestly don’t see why that should be such a battle.

Whenever I write about my love of camping, I get comments asking how to do it. Lots of you want to give it a go but don’t know where to start – and I can see why. Walking into a camping shop is overwhelming and if you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for I can understand why you would walk out thinking it’s all too hard.

So at the suggestion of some commenters, I decided to write a how-to for beginner campers.

This post covers the basics of camping, the absolute minimums of what you’ll need. You’ll notice in the shops that there are thousands of other accessories available; you can go as ‘luxury’ or as basic as you like, but this guide should see you through a few trials to see if you like the experience before spending all that money! It will also give you a chance to think about which additional things are important to you.

I’ll go through each category to consider, with a list at the bottom of things you’ll need.

Where to go?

There are three types of camping: caravan parks, camping with some amenities (often found in national parks, for example), or bush camping without amenities.

The first two types are easy to locate: a book or a Google search will tell you where these spots are. The third – roughing it – can take a little more ground work: bush campers like to keep their spots quiet and hidden, so the best way to find them is to search a little harder online or talk to other campers.

My best tip for deciding where to go is to ask yourself a few questions:

What am I comfortable with? You might want full amenities, or you might want to try going into the bush and finding a quieter place.

Where can I get to? The type of vehicle you have will dictate where you can go, to a certain degree. Some bush camping spots are accessible only by four-wheel-drive, so you’ll need to research this first.

What interests you? You might want to go for walks, you might like to go for drives, or any number of other activities – which will help you rule out certain areas.

Wherever you end up, I recommend leaving your campsite and doing some exploring – see the area you’ve come to visit.

Shelter

The most important thing you need is a tent (note that there are other shelter options such as caravans and camper trailers, but tents are the cheapest and easiest option). There are so many tents on the market that you may find this step confusing, but luckily many of those include some really reasonably priced options that are also good quality.

We have slowly upgraded over the years – from a tiny lightweight hiking tent, to a small dome tent (a great starting point – easy to put up and cheap to buy), to our current three-roomed tent.

This is not something to purchase on impulse – before you buy a tent you should do some research to check its quality. Read reviews online and check out the manufacturer’s reliability, because no matter how much you love camping, if your tent leaks or blows away it will ruin your trip.

You may also like to consider other shelters too, such as a shade tent or even a tarp (a cheap option that we still use, with ropes to tie the corners around trees). It’s great to have some shade or shelter from the rain without having to hide away in your tent… but not a necessity.

Bedding

You’ll need something to sleep on and it’s up to you how comfortable you are with the options available. Basically, you can use a blow-up mattress or a sleeping mat (which can be quite thin and will certainly straighten out your back! This is what we use and prefer, though).

You can purchase sleeping bags or, if you want to keep costs down you can just take your own bedding from home.

Cooking

When it comes to how you’ll cook, you have two options:

Gas – you can pick up a basic single-burner gas cooker for $20, which you can use to heat food or cook just like a stovetop.

Fire – you’ll need to check if fires are allowed at your camping spot. If so, and if you want to try cooking on the fire (I’ll post some camping recipes here at some point, too), you’ll need some good cooking gear. We have this set from Hillbilly Camping (the stand, hot-plate, frying pan, jaffle maker and camp oven), who are local to us – it’s great quality gear that will last forever.

Please note that even if you’re going to cook on the fire, you should also take a gas cooker in case of bad weather conditions.

Food

So what can you eat? We started off quite basic when we began camping – sausages, chops, pasta mixes – but we’ve progressed as we’ve realised you can actually eat really well while camping. If you’re unsure you can pre-cook a couple of meals at home and just reheat them on your gas cooker, or you can give things a go from scratch.

The first thing we do when planning a trip is work out a meal plan. Eating well while camping is just like eating well at home: it all comes down to planning.

A good esky/icebox with a couple of bags of ice will keep your food and drinks cold for at least a few days.

Water

The water situation comes down to where you’re planning to camp. It’s usually safest to take your own in water containers, unless you know the area has clean water.

If the spot you’re headed to has a river, you can use that water but should boil it before drinking.

Toilets

The big question I’m asked when I talk about camping is about toilets. Camping can mean no amenities and you need to think about how you feel about that. After a few trips, though, it becomes a non-issue.

When it comes to toilets, there are three possibilities (but always, always pack your own toilet paper!):

Full facilities – Usually found at caravan parks.

Drop toilets (sometimes called a ‘long drop’) – This is a toilet seat over a hole in the ground, and used communally  just like a normal public toilet (but without the flush!). Many popular bush camping spots will have these, and they’re okay in some situations – without going into too much detail, let’s just say that they aren’t the most pleasant smelling things on a busy weekend.

No toilets – In this case you’ll have to dig a hole. Sounds terrible? You’ll get used to it. It’s worth going behind a tree a few times over a weekend in order to see and do the amazing things you will while camping. (And one visit to a drop toilet on an aforementioned busy weekend will have you wanting to dig your own hole!)

BYO toilet – you can buy chemical toilets and a toilet tent. But be warned, someone has to empty it afterwards!

Showers

Again you’ll find a few possibilities:

Full facilities – Usually found at caravan parks.

No showers – Sounds bad? Again, you just need to get over it. There are a few tricks to staying as clean as possible, though. One is to stock up on baby wipes, bring a facewasher, and just do your best. Or, if the weather is warm and you’re camping near a river – go for a swim (don’t use soap or shampoo in the river, though) and you’ll instantly feel better.

BYO shower - You can buy a battery-operated shower and a shower tent – it won’t be your greatest showering experience, but it’s enough to have a quick wash.

A summary of the equipment you’ll need

• Tent
• Shade tent or tarp (optional)
• Sleeping bags (or bedding from home)
• Gas cooker
• Fire cooking equipment (optional)
• Billy for boiling water
• Lighting (torches and/or lanterns)
• Esky
• Water containers
• Cooking equipment (pots, pans, plates, cups, cutlery, serving spoon, tongs – you can bring these from home)
• Chairs

Remember – these are the basics, an absolute minimum. Anything above and beyond this is really a personal preference, but this is a good start.

Good luck, and wishing you all lots of happy camping trips.

(Go on, give it a go – you might just enjoy it!)

(Oh, and let me know how you go – I’d love to hear your camping stories!)

I’m tired of mediocrity.

I want to teach my daughter that life is more important than a career.

That when you’re asked what you want to be, you don’t have to answer with a job title.

I want to show her that you need to work hard, but not necessarily in a traditional sense.

To follow her heart and let it take her to high heights.

I want to show her that she can achieve extraordinary things.

I want her to know that risks are hers for the taking.

And so are adventures.

But how am I to show her that?

No matter how well I do at things, everything I try is so damned mediocre.

Not crazy or all-consuming.

Never risky or extreme.

Just so standard. Boring. Suburban.

I want my daughter to know she can reach for the extraordinary.

But then I’m torn – right now she doesn’t want amazing.

She just wants to be. And to be loved. That, she has.

I went shopping for new clothes for the little growing machine. While there, she requested we also go shoe shopping and I agreed it was a good idea. Especially when I spied these little beauties.

I might have picked up a quick purchase or two for myself as well – those infamous glasses and a new maxi dress.

We had a family dinner at our house to celebrate my brother’s 21^st birthday. We all ate lots, drank lots and laughed lots – and embarrassed our brother with funny stories from his childhood.

My brain reached capacity and I spent some time at the office trying to form sentences. And failing. And being laughed at. I’d then text Steve complaining about being exhausted, but got little sympathy as he’s been working nightshifts.

Our fridge failed to cool things adequately. And although I should have noticed this when I baked and didn’t have to soften the butter, I actually noticed when I had a glass of wine. Lukewarm white wine on a hot day is all kinds of wrong.

Abbey learnt a skill that’s highly valued in my family: tongue curling. My mum can’t do this (or click her fingers) and we feared our girl might have inherited this gene. There was a big sigh of relief when we realised we can still keep teasing mum.

I started blogging at Swim Kids, a wonderful initiative between the Royal Life Saving Society and Uncle Toby’s. I’ll be over there once a week for the rest of this year and I’d love you to pop by for a visit if you have a moment!

What’s been happening at your place this week?

Things have a habit of turning up in my life just as I need them most.

I wrote earlier this year about needing some time to myself every so often – not to write, not to work and definitely not to do things around the house. To stop and relax. Less time to myself than for myself. At that point, my thing was Shiatsu therapy – something I still think is amazing.

But not long after writing that post, my Shiatsu lady stopped work. She had a baby. (There’s a long history of this happening to me – every time I find someone helpful they fall pregnant.)

Since then, I haven’t done anything for myself. And I can feel the difference – mainly in the pain running right down my neck and shoulders from all the stored up tension.

Last week, a flyer was dropped into my mailbox. It got my attention, so I rang the number and had a chat to the lady who answered. This lady runs a business from her home (which is only a few minutes from my place), where she has set up a Pilates studio and offers small classes. They include day-time sessions that – get this! – also have a child-minding service for no extra cost.

I booked in for the next day.

After the class, she asked me to do something for the next session: write down some words about how I felt afterwards. No worries, I said. Easy.

And so here I am, sitting down to do my ‘homework’. I took a nice big piece of paper and started writing. But I’ve stopped already, with the page having just one word on it:

WORTHWHILE

It’s so easy to forget how much we need things like this. Whether your thing is a massage, a Pilates or yoga session, a gym workout, a jog or a walk – whatever it might be, it makes you feel that you’re worthwhile. That you’re important enough to invest some time in.

I must remember this from now on. I need something in my life, just something small, to make myself feel that way.

What makes you feel worthwhile?

A confession: I’m off the wagon.

Yep, after all my bleating on about quitting sugar, I’m swallowing my sweet sugary words. In my defense, I did always say it was a trial and that I wanted to incorporate moderation back into my life – so in part I’m still on track. Not a complete hypocrite.

And I’ve learnt a lot in the last couple of months:

I have a big appetite. Many people say that quitting sugar decreases their appetite and makes them think about food less. Not me. I think I just have a huge appetite regardless!

I haven’t experienced any physical changes. I had wondered if eating less sweet stuff would help with a few ‘issues’, but it hasn’t. Worth a shot, though.

I understand my aversion to savouries. Remember when your parents would tell you to eat a meal so that you could have dessert? I’ve realised I haven’t grown up – that’s still my way of thinking. I tolerate savouries because I know I should, all the while wanting to get to the good bit. The best thing this last couple of months has taught me is to enjoy my meals more.

Extremes don’t work for me. Not with food, anyway. It’s got to the point where I can’t think of what to eat, so I won’t have anything – and not eating enough makes me feel terrible.

I’ve started feeling deprived. And when you feel deprived, you do weird things. I bought a chocolate bar at a supermarket on the way home one day. Then stopped again and bought another one. A packet of jelly beans another day. This binging is worse for me in a lot of different ways than just eating dessert now and then.

I’ve never felt guilty about food until recently. I’ve always had a healthy attitude towards food: if I feel hungry, I’ll eat; if I feel like eating something, I will. No guilt, no calory counting, no questions. That has led to me eating more sweets than I probably should make a habit of, but on the whole I eat really well. I’m going back to that approach.

There are other reasons. A lot is going on right now and I feel I’m putting too much pressure on myself. On top of that is being on a medication that messes with my blood sugar levels – and so, if I feel off and need a quick sugar hit to get me through (before having something more sustaining) then I will.

And so I conclude that it was worth a try – and it has taught me a lot about how I eat, my attitude towards food, and it’s made me more conscious of what I eat. Which is always a good thing.

Now I just need to remember that moderation is the key. It’s what works for me.

Oh, and feel free to say you told me so.

A little fairy told me I sold out

For the first year and a half of my blog’s life I was totally against the idea of working with brands. I just didn’t see it fitting here, instead wanting to keep this space advertisement-free and perhaps even use it as a platform from which to gain some paid writing work elsewhere.

This past few months, I gave myself some time to try it out. I’ve worked with some brands, written sponsored posts and attended events hosted by big businesses. This, combined with the discussions out there in the blogging world, have helped me draw some conclusions about what I want to do here from now on.

Thinking back over this year, the one main conclusion I’ve come to is that I sold out. I think it’s a pretty natural reaction: suddenly there are offers coming from all angles, products and money being thrown into the mix, and compliments about your writing and your level of influence. It’s hard to not get caught up in it, although I’m a little ashamed at myself for doing so. I’m not happy with some of the things I’ve written about, and I have this strange feeling about having acted as a promotional tool for huge corporations all for a measly three-figure sum.

More than that, I feel strange about being told I have ‘influence’. It doesn’t sit well with me, and I’d like people to visit this space for some good stories rather than to be influenced about what to buy. Writing Out Loud is an extension of my life, and I don’t spend time in my life spruiking products. It feels a bit like I’m using you guys – the more I tell you what to do, the more money I earn. It’s weird.

And so, I’ve developed some strict guidelines for myself, a way to continue working with brands on my terms. I’ll use a combination of that and good old gut instinct to decide what to do and what to politely decline.

For a start, I’ve pulled out of the big one-size-fits-all advertising agencies. I do hope to continue working with the smaller ones, who I can talk to about tailoring a campaign or idea to suit this space.

When I do write about something, you can be absolutely certain I’m doing it for the right reasons. That being because it’s something I completely believe in and that has something to offer you, too.

If I’m invited to more events, I’ll take those in my stride. I do love them for the opportunity to learn and most of all, to meet and catch up with other bloggers. But I won’t let my Twitter stream read like an advertisement.

I’m going to put forward my own proposals to work on projects I really want to do. The worst that can happen is they say no and I keep doing what I’m doing. The best that can happen is, well, lots of cool stuff!

It’s time to run my own race, and do what’s right for me – and for you.

What do you think? Have you ever been sold to the dark side?

Some great posts around this topic have helped me think through this area of blogging:

Eden questioned social media

Ann Nolan wrote about personal bloggers working with brands, as opposed to business or niche bloggers

Dorothy talked about feeling the need to audition for brands

In this transcript of a live chat, Mrs Woog shares details of how she and Eden sought sponsorship

The comments on my post about what I want to do made me think about this too (although that post wasn’t about this issue, the comments about spending your time doing the things you really want to do extend to anything in life)