BELOIT, Wis. – Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy and Abbie Hoffman have always been dead.

1. What Berlin wall?

2. Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.

3. Rush Limbaugh and the “Dittoheads” have always been lambasting liberals.

4. They never “rolled down” a car window.

5. Michael Moore has always been angry and funny.

6. They may confuse the Keating Five with a rock group.

7. They have grown up with bottled water.

8. General Motors has always been working on an electric car.

9. Nelson Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa.

10. Pete Rose has never played baseball.

11. Rap music has always been mainstream.

12. Religious leaders have always been telling politicians what to do, or else!

13. “Off the hook” has never had anything to do with a telephone.

14. Music has always been “unplugged.”

15. Russia has always had a multi-party political system.

16. Women have always been police chiefs in major cities.

17. They were born the year Harvard Law Review Editor Barack Obama announced he might run for office some day.

18. The NBA season has always gone on and on and on and on.

19. Classmates could include Michelle Wie, Jordin Sparks, and Bart Simpson.

20. Half of them may have been members of the Baby-sitters Club.

21. Eastern Airlines has never “earned their wings” in their lifetime.

22. No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of “liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”

23. Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears and has always employed more workers than GM.

24. Being “lame” has to do with being dumb or inarticulate, not disabled.

25. Wolf Blitzer has always been serving up the news on CNN.

26. Katie Couric has always had screen cred.

27. Al Gore has always been running for president or thinking about it.

28. They never found a prize in a Coca-Cola “MagiCan.”

29. They were too young to understand Judas Priest’s subliminal messages.

30. When all else fails, the Prozac defense has always been a possibility.

31. Multigrain chips have always provided healthful junk food.

32. They grew up in Wayne’s World.

33. U2 has always been more than a spy plane.

34. They were introduced to Jack Nicholson as “The Joker.”

35. Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.

36. American rock groups have always appeared in Moscow.

37. Commercial product placements have been the norm in films and on TV.

38. On Parents’ Day on campus, their folks could be mixing it up with Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz with daughter Zöe, or Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford with son Cody.

39. Fox has always been a major network.

40. They drove their parents crazy with the Beavis and Butt-head laugh.

41. The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere.

42. Women’s studies majors have always been offered on campus.

43. Being a latchkey kid has never been a big deal.

44. Thanks to MySpace and Facebook, autobiography can happen in real time.

45. They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.

46. Most phone calls have never been private.

47. High definition television has always been available.

48. Microbreweries have always been ubiquitous.

49. Virtual reality has always been available when the real thing failed.

50. Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.

51. China has always been more interested in making money than in reeducation.

52. Time has always worked with Warner.

53. Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.

54. The purchase of ivory has always been banned.

55. MTV has never featured music videos.

56. The space program has never really caught their attention except in disasters.

57. Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.

58. They get much more information from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from the newspaper.

59. They’re always texting 1 n other.

60. They will encounter roughly equal numbers of female and male professors in the classroom.

61. They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.

62. They have no idea who Rusty Jones was or why he said “goodbye to rusty cars.”

63. Avatars have nothing to do with Hindu deities.

64. Chavez has nothing to do with iceberg lettuce and everything to do with oil.

65. Illinois has been trying to ban smoking since the year they were born.

66. The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.

67. Chronic fatigue syndrome has always been debilitating and controversial.

68. Burma has always been Myanmar.

69 Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.

70. Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.

© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20378610/

During this seminar, you will discover:

• Who should have a business plan
• Who doesn’t need one
• The four times every business needs a business plan
• How a business plan can help your business avoid common mistakes
• And much, much more…

Never been to a VANA seminar before? It is a web seminar which is like an online video or slide presentation event.

The audio portion of the workshop is delivered over your computer speakers. It is recommended that you use a headset with a microphone, so you can speak with your hands free. This environment is very controlled and has the feel of a talk-radio program. During the seminar, you will be able to ask questions of the speakers, very much like participating in a radio talk show. If you prefer, you can also type your questions in a text box during the seminar.

The visual information is delivered via the Internet. It is like watching a slide presentation with the added value of having the speaker annotate and explain the slides.

During this free seminar, you will also receive a free Business Plan Checklist to ensure your business and marketing plan includes everything it should. Businesses never plan to fail – they fail to plan. Plan now to attend this informative and free seminar and catapult your business to the next level!

RSVP here!

It doesn’t matter what you “sell” on your Web site – service or product – the idea is the same. Use action words in your copy. Don’t say “we can”, say “we will”. Don’t say – “If you want to – say pick up the phone today.” Tell your customers what you want them to do. We live in a society where we are accustomed to people telling us what to do and as long as they do it convincingly and not insultingly, we often do it. As a business owner, you decide what it is you want your customers to do.

Start by showing the benefits of your product or service. How can it make their life better? Can it make them stronger, smarter, younger, or slimmer? Will it grow hair, remove rust, fight decay or make them money. Lead them down the road you want them to travel. Tease them. Show them how you can help. Make them want your service or product.

Your sales copy should be written with your customer in mind. Use short active words in the present tense. Don’t stuff your Web site with garbage; make sure you provide substance for your reader. Include things that you know they will find interesting and useful. Giving away information helps establish recognition and awareness.

Once you’ve given them a glimpse of what you have to offer and teased them a bit, it’s time to deliver. Make sure you deliver!! It you told them they’ll be stronger, smarter, younger, or slimmer by using your product or service – make sure they are! Nothing dooms a business faster than making claims they can’t live up to.

Customers will feel betrayed if they’ve been led down a path only to be let down. Whether it’s your service or your product, make sure you follow through with your customers. A happy customer is a walking advertisement for your business. An unhappy customer spreads gloom wherever they go.

Excite your customers by giving them a glimpse of what you’ve got and how it can help them. Use action words to lead them down the path you want to travel and then tell them what to do – whether it’s signing up for your mailing list, buying your product or calling for a consultation. Mostly importantly, be sure to follow through because no one likes a tease. Keep your copy focused on the benefits your customers receive and you’ll be writing wisely.

• Deafening Silence
• Plastic Glass
• Airline Schedules
• Adult Children
• Jumbo Shrimp (which by the way is $7.99 a pound at Trader Joe’s – LOL)
• Virtual Reality
• Boneless Ribs
• Dry Humor
• Light Heavyweight
• Questionable Answer

Oxymorons are fun. Can you think of any?

So what do I do now that the grammar circuit seems to be all sewed up? Would Letterman or Leno be interested in a grammar guru? Would they even want me now that Grammar Girl has been on Oprah? I have this vision of Grammar Girl appearing out of nowhere, ripping open her shirt to reveal a giant “G” and then correcting my grammar! Maybe I don’t need that kind of exposure. Maybe I need to think bigger. What would Grammar Girl do next – a radio talk show maybe? No let’s think bigger yet – I know, a TV show – yes that’s it! The Grammar Network – it would be great. I can see it now, all grammar all day all night. We could have specials on prepositions, interviews with proper nouns and discussions on dangling participles. Now that’s something that would be worthy of Letterman, Leno and maybe even the Today Show.

Starting my own television network is certainly out of the question so the next step will be for me to figure out whom to pitch my grammar network idea to. Now I know you’re probably wondering if whom was the correct word to use there. I think it was and here’s why: when I was watching Oprah, Grammar Girl said that whom should be used when you would use him. So in this case – whom would I pitch my idea too? Him. Anyway, I digress. It is obvious how important grammar is in our world and with the explosion of Internet use and e-Business, it is more important than ever to use proper grammar. Your first impression is often made through words.

I wonder if Ted Turner would be interested in such an idea or maybe Donald Trump – after all he does have Trump University. I’m sure grammar is important for every employee and Apprentice alike. Wait, I’ve got it. Nascar – they could really use a grammar guru in that bunch. Let me tell you what – proper sentence structure can carry you through any race! Oh and what this grammar girl wouldn’t do to meet Kyle Petty or Dale Jr. In fact, now that I think about it, most businesses should have a grammar consultant on call 24/7 – you never know when the misuse of a word could land you in hot water! Whatever industry you’re in, writing wisely is always a plus.

This humor section is compliments of Dan Poynter.

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When writing sales copy and designing your Web site, keep some of the basics principles of marketing in mind. I always think back to an acronym my marketing professor taught us in college – AIDA. It stands for Attention, Interest, Desire, and Action. If you keep this principle in mind while you’re writing, you’re sure to create compelling copy and move your reader to buy or ask for more information.

Attention – grab your reader’s attention right off the bat. Create a headline that pulls your reader in. Put it in big, bold, red letters. Draw their attention to it immediately.

Interest – once you’ve got their attention, you need to keep it. Make sure your copy holds their interest. Identify a problem they can relate to or an issue they have in their business that is common. The key to keeping their interest is to keep the focus on them. They don’t care about you – only what you can do for them.

Desire – ignite their need to have what you are offering. Make sure your sales copy reflects the benefits your customers will receive from buying your product or using your service. Tell them how they can make more money, have a better love life or learn something they’ve always wanted to and you’ll ignite that desire.

Action – move your reader to buy or to contact you for more information. Whatever your goal with your copy, be sure to make it clear to your reader. If you want them to buy your product – tell them to buy now; if you want them to contact you for more information – tell them to contact you now. Often readers want to be told what to do in order to reach their goals. So tell them – act now and you’ll be on the road to success!

Whatever it is that you sell – product or service – the principle is the same. You must grab your potential customer or client’s attention, pique their interest, ignite their desire and move them to action. The easiest most effective way to do that is by writing winning sales copy.

Keep these ideas in mind the next time you’re working on your Web site or product sales page and incorporate some of the ideas into your own material. I think you’ll find the effort will result in increased traffic, inquiries and sales. It all boils down to writing wisely.

As track 2 participants, I and many of my colleagues were privileged to hear from veteran VAs who know success and the steps required to get there. The knowledge I gained has empowered me to “think big” when it comes to my business and my life! The following is a synopsis of only two of several excellent presentations I enjoyed as a track 2 participant.

Kathryn Williams’s presentation: Breaking Through: Planning to Get You to The Next Level talked about the importance of having a business plan. You have got to know where you are before you can figure out where you want to be. Ask yourself why? Why did I start my business? Why am I doing this? What’s holding me back? How much money do I want/need to make? Make sure you plan for growth – set goals and hold yourself accountable. Spend time each week reviewing those goals/targets. Write out processes for every aspect of your business – client work, bookkeeping, billing, contracts, marketing, everything. Think about your skills – what skills do you need to get you to where you want to be. It seems like common sense, but how many of us actually know where we are? It got me to thinking!

Kelly Poelker’s presentation, Give Yourself a Raise: Successfully Implementing a Price Increase gave us all a great deal of food for thought. She stressed the importance of contracts – getting them, using them, sticking to them and enforcing them. Each has its challenges. Contracts should end at the end of each year. The first 90 days of the contract give both parties time to figure out exactly how many hours are required – if they go over, charge them, but at a discounted rate. I don’t know many VAs who like to talk about money, especially when it comes to increasing their rates. One way around this is to include an increase clause in your contract and then announce to your clients a couple months prior that you will be implementing that price increase in January. The increase adjusts for cost of living, increased operational costs, and additional knowledge. More than likely your clients won’t have a problem.

I only recently began setting daily goals and I never even considered writing a raise into my contract! The ideas shared, the friendships solidified, the new friends gained, and the networks explored were worth getting on the airplane! I returned more determined than ever to make my business a success. And how can I fail after listening and learning from some of the leaders of the VA industry. I’m convinced If I Think Big, I WILL Live Large!!

What does it mean to add value to your services and why is it important? There are millions of small businesses out there. You need to create ways to stand apart from the crowd. Value added services are one way to do that. What exactly an added value is will vary based on whether a client is a prospect, a current client, or a past client.

Your most important client is your current client – you do the most for them. Keeping current clients happy reduces your recruitment and marketing costs and increases the stability of your business. You’ll need to direct most of your efforts to this group of clients.

Next are past clients. It stands to reason that re-signing them would require less time and resources than trying to sign a new client. Past clients are also more likely to give you referrals. Your experience with past clients makes it easier to identify value added services that would likely be attractive to them.

Finally, the least amount of energy and expense should be expelled on the potential client. They are the toughest and most expensive. Why – mostly because they know nothing about you. You’ll spend a lot of time and money educating them and determining which value added service is likely to appeal to them.

1. Mail or email an industry-specific article or link to your client with a personal, handwritten note saying “I thought you would find this interesting” etc.
2. Offer alternative forms of payment. Add value for your customers by providing them several different options when paying. Not everyone has a credit card or a PayPal account. When think about your business processes from your customer’s perspective, you’ll quickly realize the added value they receive.
3. Gift Cards, Loyalty Cards, and Prepaid Cards. Boost your business with new revenue channels and increase customer loyalty by offering a gift card, loyalty card, or prepaid card program. A more convenient alternative to gift certificates for your customers, gift card programs also help you build brand awareness. Loyalty card programs reward customers for purchases to keep them coming back.
4. Quarterly progress reports. Send your clients quarterly progress reports and outline what you accomplished together as a team and how you can help them get where they want to go next.
5. Coffee on you – Many of us “do everything except make” for our clients. Send your clients a coffee card with a note saying “today the coffee’s on me!”
6. A free sample. Give away free samples of your products or products of local retailers. For example a B&B with a great jam can give away free samples.
7. Client appreciation night. Give your client a movie night on you. Send movies and popcorn with a note letting them know how much you appreciate their business.
8. Celebrate some of the more unusual holidays during the year and give small inexpensive gifts – e.g. National Popcorn Day – give out popcorn (can you tell I like popcorn!).
9. Offer annual meetings to your clients to discuss business at no charge – review progress and goals together for the next year.
10. Partner with another like business and collaborate on a coupon to offer a discount to your clients.

These are just a few ideas of ways to add value to your services. The idea that works best with each particular client will be the one that best matches their needs and interests. Be sure to do your homework. An impressed client is a happy client.

Too is an adverb and usually means also or excessively. We had too many students to fit in the van. I was disappointed we couldn’t all fit too. When you’re editing and trying to decide if “too” is the appropriate choice, ask yourself if you could substitute also or excessive for “too”. For example: I like pizza also but she ate excessively. It’s not too difficult to figure out which is the appropriate use if you stop and think about it for a minute or two. Another little trick that might help you remember – think of the extra O as adding more to something.

Which brings us to “two”; the final of the commonly confused threesome. Two is a number – period. You can have two tickets and four divided by two is two. Another trick – many things that represent two begin with tw such as twins, twice and twenty. Making sure you use the right word is a matter of careful editing. Take your time when editing and proofreading and stop to think about what you’re trying to say. Many of us make our original contact with potential clients and customers via our Web site or other written venues, so writing wisely is critical to your success.

When I travel around the Web looking at different Web sites I know that many lose credibility with me immediately when I spot a typo – and I spot a lot of them. Far too many actually! Take the time to learn (or relearn) grammar. You’d be surprised how much sense it actually makes now that you’re an adult and you don’t HAVE to learn it. Practice your writing skills and look up words when you’re not sure. It’s much better to take the time and do a little research than it is to have someone email you with a typo or misused word on your site or other promotional materials.

Pay attention to commonly misspelled words, commonly misused words and strange words like homophones. To, too and two aren’t the only ones. There are many others: pale, and pail; blue and blew; due and do; maid and made; the list goes on and on. Don’t assume that a word is spelled correctly unless you’ve verified the meaning. Take care with your writing, practice and soon you’ll be writing wisely too.