Written In Blood - The motorheadNY & hXe Army blog

2011-06-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

I took off the 18 plus filter from this thing. It's not like I am putting up filthy pics or anything here, but I curse a lot, and do not feel the kiddies need any more negative influence.

My options are A, stop swearing so much..
B. Stop giving a shit and swear an equal amount as I do, realizing that most parents are too dumb or self involved to keep an eye on their kids.
C. Keep the Google Porn-O-Blocker 9000 on, and limit my exposure.

Answer: A big eff-U and I choose B.

BTW. The bacon candy bar I got from the health food store yesterday was a wonderful oxymoron. I am going to dedicate an entire post to it soon.

A bevy of disclaimers….

2011-06-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

I get “-ic” once in awhile.

Disclaimer: Please don’t confuse “-ic” with the fish disease ich. All things considered, I could put up with the little white spots (Ichthyophthirius multifilis) caused by protozoa as opposed to what I get stuck with. My affliction is much less contagious and much more debilitating. As another disclaimer for the disclaimer, at no point is this post to be perceived as a “feel sorry for me” kind of tone.

My “-ic” is actually related to the suffix. For the non-english folks who for whatever reason have been bombarding my page, a suffix is an affix which is placed after the stem of a word. (If you need further explanation of that, take it upon yourself to figure it out. I have stuff to get to.)

Lately, this “-ic” resurfaced with an ominous toned telephone conversation with my sister regarding a “Wacky” aunt and her recent visit to a psychic. I have always had some skepticism regarding these types of people and the profession but never to the point where I am judgmental or ill-hearted to those who enjoy the benefits from contact with them. Historically I have ebbed on the side of agnosticism with regards to all things spiritual, not totally a cop-out but as I get a little older I can’t pick a fence side to sit on. I assume my approach here is based on the fact that I was raised and schooled in the Catholic faith, in a small town, coupled with a general interest in learning/reading. Resulting to the idea that the whole existence of God/god/whatever deity you prefer, has for thousands of years been up for debate in a wonderful he said she said, it was written this way versus that way collective of ideologies which I feel is better left to the spirituality you find for yourself within yourself.

None the less, the psychic, who through whatever profiling and facial micro expression analysis came to a point in her “reading” which she mentioned to my “Whacky” aunt, that a male who died young, and wasn’t very nice had established a presence with her. Clues led my aunt to then believe that it was the spirit of my deceased father who had become her wraith. You all should know where this goes. He’s waiting for something, someone or whatever, and apparently he’s “been here the whole time”. The first onset of my “-ic” came shortly after.

Disclaimer: I have generally lived like a scumbag for the majority of my life. I have said inappropriate, rude, and straight up out of line things to just about everyone I have ever met, bucked responsibility until more recently than I care to say, and have lied to, stolen from, and screwed more people over than I can physically count. I have also been very immature, materialistic, narcissistic, and for longer than not a borderline alcoholism afflicted chain smoker. I have used the escape clause on the fight flight or avoidance response with great discrimination during these times as well. If you avoid something for long enough it is supposed to go away, right?

With all of these afflictions/conditions considered, and at least partially addressed in recent years. I got real nostalgic (see what happened there) with the thought that the old man has been hanging around watching me be a creep for the last 8 years. I mean, this is really not the image of myself I wanted to portray, even if it doesn’t matter, even if the dude’s ghost really isn’t present. I owe it to myself to face forward, and right my wrongs where applicable, and if/when it’s even possible. But where to start?

Before we get to the profound section of our topic, keep in mind that I am still on most accounts an idiot who needs to periodically write stuff down to settle some debt with his demons. That said, I decided to throw this in as an ongoing piece rather than try to jam up too much space with what is sure to be a bunch of irrational words thought of right now….

Final Disclaimer - I might not be the best at this writing bit yet, but none the less it is happening.

Random country page views exposed.

2011-06-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

I cannot for the life of me figure out what the bizarre fascination that people from Russia, Germany, and various South American countries seem to have with this blog. I suppose between back links, Google search criteria, and random picture search findings, I have involuntarily explained a portion of this traffic.

Not satisfied with this answer, I am quite intrigued by this phenomena and seek retribution from searching for further answers. (In all reality, I am bored as shit here in corporate hell today and I am inventing ways to amuse myself.) Cynically, if that is a word, I Googled it. Needless to say I was very pleased by my results.

I especially appreciate the 2nd and 3rd links, and it offers a little insight as to the amount of nonsense required to get on a shitty blog from a third world country.

Even my self amusement is boring me today.

Not so much blogging...

2011-06-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

We've been more worried about picking up projects!

Of pork and necrosis

2011-04-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

So as any good writer writes, a good destroyer destroys. That my friends is the summation of my weekend, it started with a wall, some 1920’s vintage electrical, a Kosher Coke glazed ham, and ended with a Brown Recluse spider. If I could have combined all of these things together, I would have crucified the ham on the now dismantled wall and electrocuted it while the spider watched. If I could have my weekend back, I would have torn down a car; went on a bike ride or found time to eat between alcoholic beverages. The ham crucifixion/electrocution was actually closer than you know. Stab wounds to my head, blood and dirt usually excite me, this time not so much. After this as a Saturday, I knew that Sunday could literally be a rebirth. A new day, sans the Rabbit.

All joking aside, I tried to take Sunday off for some much needed decompression time. I read. (I actually can read), starting with a Hunter S. article from 1995. The irony here is that I was also in the middle of a book on Charcuterie. FYI: We are totally adding bacon making to the repertoire. I love to multitask even in my “at-rest” state. Now realizing that every instance of my Easter Sunday had begun to revolve around uses of the illustrious pig, I rethought my position. Bacon for breakfast, Pork Lard Cookies, Ham, and Kosher Coca Cola, I knew I needed to do something else before I suffered a coronary. The day was a bit overcast, and I honestly had gotten sick of sitting, the commercials on HD Theater had become unusually unbearable, and I couldn’t find anything to pull apart (I was also under a mandated stop work order from the old lady), so I did what any normal idiot would do at 7:00PM on Easter Sunday. I drove into the ghetto. The youngins were out ballin’ even though it was raining, the stoops were full of bros. I got an eye on one Donk.

A FIAT?

I will admit, it is never really so exciting to see the bums pushing on carts getting to the next hobble on a holiday eve, but it adds one thing to my life. Perspective. I made a quick stop with my girl so she could check on some cats or something, and this is when business picked up. As I was about to take a step into the basement of the “cat-place” there it stood…Eager in its stance determining which way would make for the best escape, left, right, or in, essentially a showdown pre-emptive of the fight, flight or avoidance decision. My adversary was no giant beast but something far more sinister, mostly because of my inappropriate footwear. I had left the house in slippers, albeit moccasins, but for this foe, I lacked the much needed protection and durability of over the ankle leather shit kickers.

A bag of rock salt left over from our recently departed yet dreadful winter was thrown, to no effect. Panic then raised my heart rate tenfold. What weapon could I chose? What would be the coup d'état which would quell this all powerful nemesis? I was handed a tube like object of cardboard construction, no…no, this will never work. And then, there it was. Finally, I had an eye on the great equalizer I needed. An object of gods creation nourished by sunlight and rain, air and earth, when I grabbed this Excalibur, I felt immediate solace and power much of which King Arthur must have felt when he grabbed his own. Was it forged steel or modern weaponry which would destroy this evil? Sadly, I can say no. It was a simple stick. A stick made perfectly for walking, and made equally perfect for killing. Every instinct on this day told me to use this as a weapon. So I complied. The first thrust took a limb, another missed, and the final blow, the death punch manifested in a crack of concrete and wood with biology between. I had emerged the victor. Needless to say, as descriptive as I have been, it would have been way better had this fight been against a Rancor. Instead a poisonous deadly terrifying spider was the bane of my existence. More specifically a Brown Recluse.

The Enemy

They cause necrosis, and imaginarily everyone has seen one, or been bitten. A little tidbit here…85% of all reported bites are actually Staph infections. The lesson here people. Wash your hands. Another tidbit I picked up from this less than worthwhile experience is, if you leave a bandage on a cat’s arm for too long, they will suffer from a condition called MEGA PAW. It’s eloquently put, and directly descriptive.

See why I can’t take a day off. Check out the eBay goods.

WTH!

2011-04-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

I just spent twenty minutes with a new post, and nothing. In short, the truck is marooned in Georgia still, the shop has been busy, and there may be some new product offerings soon!

I almost threw you away.

2011-04-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

One mans trash....

Broken Rear End.

2011-03-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

...and I am not talking about a car or a bike right now. I mean me. The lack of updates is directly related to the fact we have been busting our asses getting some goodies. More to come.

Kegs, Eggs and Mayhem - The St. Patricks day shitshow

2011-03-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

I wasn't there. God dammit, I wasn't there. (story) I spend the day at the shop organizing. This basically means I spent the day moving stuff into non categorized piles which created a bigger mess then I started with. This is the way most people live their lives. Moving shit from point A to B without any thought to the fact that B is just going to be an enormous pain in the ass when you go looking for things at A later. Confused? I know I was.

Never the less, I came away from it with some decent finds in my own mess, and I fixed the air compressor. I have to say, that I would have rather of thrown a 63 inch TV out a second story window, and helped with that car flip attempt. Instead of that, the work was done, then the idiocy began. And idiocy it was just that, idiotic but unfortunately due to lack of good pics, I will summarize in a few poorly taken ones. The flash on my phone was off, and I was just too busy with my beer to deal. That and the need for 70 HQ pics of D-Bags in green screen printed T-Shirts was really not priority.

Bar Games

Po-Po trying to figure out the motor-sickle

Idiots Galore

And this folks had me home by 11. Not the way it was supposed to go, but with a start to the city's day like the one they had...A bunch of drunk assholes in the street wasn't that bad or interesting. Not to mention there was a bunch of drunk assholes in the street, and the bar was dead. It was like some sort of alternate universe where up is down and left is stupid. Maybe the bar was dead because all of the cops were in the bar drinking sodas and playing video games in uniform, leaving the streets to mayhem presented by Old Navy novelty tees...

3 Things everyone should have.

2011-03-10T12:32:00.000-08:00

Rather than get into a whiny weather forecast today, I thought I would do some productive type business activity, you know just to "change things up". To start my quasi productive day, I had a chance to catch up with one of my oldest friends who I had not spoken with in at least 3 years. It's funny how time and distance can make you realize just how small the world becomes when you go your separate ways. Circles stay circles and squares stay squares. The people we have met under completely different circumstances end up being the same people, literally. Please don't misunderstand me, obviously these conversations can totally go the wrong way if it has been several years since last contact (awkward silences and all), or if it is a person you have history with, it can go just the way it did. Just like nothing ever changed. The productive part of the call was that stickers have now been ordered, and T-shirts are coming soon. This creature I have bred is quickly becoming a full time venture so long as the full money comes with the full time.

There should be a picture here of the new T-Shirt design

but the computer wanted to be a pain, and I am supposed

to be being productive. You will all see it soon enough anyhow.

This leads me back to my clever title and to the first thing all people, and I mean ALL people should have on them at all times.. The Fear...All should live in it, or better yet...Thrive on it. This can be a fear of the unknown, the fear of being afraid, or bears. Get some. It can go longer than anything, and if you know how to use it, it can be pure power. 5 times power in Asia.

After a nice long wait on the phone with my esteemed friends at the IRS, I thought of how absolutely unproductive the day had become. Good God, I had been on the phone for like 4 hours, and nothing got sold, built, broken, or bought. The 2 women I spoke to at our largest common occurrence were very accommodating and made me think about the second thing everyone should have. Once again, at all times, and I don't care if you are a church going folk, an outlaw, or just a flat out D-bag. Manners. Yes Manners, those little things that regardless of sex, race, religion or creed (I still don't really know what creed is, because its kinda like religion. And yes, it is also a terrible band) everyone was at one point taught. But manners are a forgotten art, and a 'effin good art. You can call me a A-Hole all you like, just make sure you are polite when you do it. And if that doesn't work, the last item everyone should have is...

Get some damn confidence and figure it out for yourself.

See what I did there. By the way I could have made this list way longer but I really wanted to get no relevant point across for effect. That, and guns and knives would have been too easy of additions.

Murdered by Death

2011-03-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Actually, the snow is just getting to me. Every time there seems to be a little light at the end of this winter tunnel, it snows again. It snows a ton. Besides the ill effect on my psyche, it is having profound negative effects on picking up the items we have procured for either destruction, or resale. And seriously, I just watched Footloose. Kevin Bacon still contains Bacon. It should count. I should have just went to Georgia myself this weekend.

This says it all

2011-03-03T14:41:00.000-08:00

And I mean it.

2011-03-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

General complainers who have accidentally and inadvertently crossed my path for even just a brief second within the last few days please, and I mean this with the utmost sincerity, Kill Yourselves. As I spent the weekend enjoying some time with the kids and watching the god forsaken snow melt away from my house, I had the great misfortune of stumbling across several people that I believe are better served on the receiving end of a .45.

Example 1

Cashier at the Ocean State Job Lot (AKA The lady who gets pissed at me for wasting $35 on stuff that I don’t need because she doesn’t have $35 to waste.) I can’t apologize for a situation that you directly puts yourself in. I didn’t force you to lower your expectation of yourself to such a point that…

A. You would leave the house looking like that.

B. That you have such a low self value that both directly and indirectly you are the reason you stand there loathing people like me daily.

C. That because of your shortcomings you have concocted an elaborate plan to damn everyone and everything that has or is something “better” than you.

I am by no means a wealthy man, and everything I do have has been a result of a fight, struggle or trial. The point here to you, Cashier lady and to everyone else…If you want something or somewhere better, go ahead and make it. The problem with this country and the whine ass mentality that we have adopted as a right is everyone finds the problem without the solution. 30, 40, 50 years ago this kind of crap wouldn’t have happened. If you had an idea, a dream or a complaint, you found a way to make it better, you were the solution.

Example 2

The crazy looking lady with no bra at the bowling alley who was giving them a chance because they screwed up so bad last time. Really, that is your hole in the ceiling. The god-damned lane broke, which isn’t that big of a deal, but the fact that YOU had to wait 10 whole minutes while engaging in a recreational activity (the point here is recreational, it means to relax) before someone came to fix it, and this diminished your vision of this business to a point where you can’t patronize the establishment anymore. You, my finest of all bar skanks, are a great example of a customer the lanes or any other business doesn’t want. Ever. Because while the world of broken lanes and casual bowling enjoyment came crashing down around you, there were 653 other people who frequent this establishment actually enjoying themselves while padding the register. You wait, and you should always wait. Because based on the 26 seconds of second hand interaction, it wasn’t unintentional. It was completely based on your general demeanor.

Example 3

The guy on the other end of this keyboard. Get to work. Writing a manifesto styled hate list in the middle of the work day doesn’t sell parts, and doesn’t TCOB. It does however let you waste precious moments of a great day in the world of commerce. Even the thoughts of time spend on non-production while bitching about non-productive people makes you an example of irony. Irony is best served by the British, and damn it, you are an American who is here to revitalize and rejuvenate the America you live in. Build more, Break more, and Change things. You my friend, can get off this list.

Oh and by the way. Stuff for sale….

motorhead New York on Ebay

…and motorhead New York finally has a real phone number. (518) 621-7745 Go ahead and buy some stuff...

This is BULLSHIT.

2011-02-25T07:09:00.001-08:00

The DMV

2011-02-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

With all the stories you hear about the DMV and their antics, you could assume that this would be a bitch fest inspired post. I am going to start by just bitching enough to fill my quota. The bastards are super expensive, and if I go to the one in the ghetto, then I usually can fill the stereotype regarding lines, people that smell like shit, and stupidity. Something along these lines

However...

If you go to the Richie Rich neighborhood and do your business, it's way better. Legit, no lines, no hassles and I was in and out in a matter of minutes. Minutes, for plates and to make myself a legal motorcycle operator in the state of NY. It's like a effing dream

That's more like it.

Oh and today's real contempt can be directed to the wonderful bastards at FedEx, for attempting to sexually assault me by charging a $56 fee for an overnight delivery on a .5 pound package. You people can seriously suck it.

Success? Best measured by the one with the stick.

2011-02-22T08:46:00.000-08:00

A decent weekend with a 50 degree temperature swing, a new mattress, a new phone service provider and kick ass phone, 5 hours of ass breaking work cleaning out a lot of parts purchased in a dungeon. All collectively topped off by one tough bowl of chili, and several well deserved beers. There isn’t a great deal witty to say about working in sub-freezing temperatures while you are piling a collective of several hundred dirty, dilapidated, and un-identified car parts into the back of a 14’ U-Haul Van. So, most of this is for vintage Volvo’s and as I sort through it, I will get some updates. Oh and did I mentioned this?

The actual pictures of the previously mentioned. Quality sucks but it was in a dungeon

That there is what the American Pickers guys would call a barn find. It’s a late 50’s early 60’s Volvo P210 Duett, and it is some dope shit. I hope to be calling it money very soon. On a parting note, the most maniacal, wonderful and partially disturbing things I think I came across were these…

That my faithful is what I call success! EDDIE!

Lessons learned from Pork induced hangovers.

2011-02-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

I was so hyped up yesterday to enhance my fatness. You see, I have been craving the decadence of sweet smoked and slowly cooked meats for about 3 straight weeks now, as I had been participating in the most non hXe of all activities - A DIET. I swear that I only do these things to fully understand my love of alcohol and Taco Bell. The whole take it away and see how much you miss it theory. After announcing my strategic eating plan to everyone in my path all day, and procuring a 1959 Volvo PV210 (picture is similar, not actual) for a very nice price it was time to act.

Pregame eating practice began at 5:25, (I figured that any athlete has to warm up, and who am I to not stretch a bit.) Two Peanut Butter sandwiches, 3 of Pottsville, PA's best (That's Yuengling for those not in the know), and a hand full of Boars Head Salsalito Turkey, gave me the best protein to carb to beer ratio for maxim pork eating performance. I was ready to go. Of course, the ol'lady wasn't, and of course neither was her girl date. A brief jump in Billy and off we went, the shit show was scheduled to begin at about 7:20 PM. So excited I forgot my camera, I had to supplement with the shit box phone. This will not and can not happen again. The parking situation played out as per usual. 90 cars whose drivers are suffering from "Pork Rage" circling the small lot in a struggle for 1 spot. Even on a Wednesday night, this was the case. I got my spot pretty quick and Syn maneuvered Billy into a spot made for a sub compact. (I am too impatient and fat to effectively park a 3 ton vehicle.) Upon entering the lobby I could smell what I was here for. Meat and Beer, neither overpowering the other. A half an hour wait ahead of us, and to the bar we go. 3 more Pottsville warriors and a few laughs got me even more ravenous and the it happened. Table up Goody, Table effing up.

The first terrible picture had to be the menu. Hello Troy NY!, Are you ready to eat?

The Tres Hombres, and in the upper left hand, the Four beer sampler (Ommegang Rare Vos, Southern Tier Brewery Old Man Ale, Magic Hat Vinyl Lager, and Dinosaur Ape Hangar Ale) 4 ounces each for $5.00.

While devouring and pillaging the aforementioned, a conversation started involving the women and their desire to participate in a cycle training course this spring, which in my pork lust led to me...

agreeing to give this away to my girl if she takes it...

...and make it look like this again.

Hell, at least I know what is happening to it now. The lesson here is Pork not only makes you fat, it can make you kind of stupid too.

Was it worth it?

2011-02-17T09:38:00.000-08:00

It's really gross. I mean how long and irritating the winter is. As an exploratory mission to determine if I would participate next year, I stopped over to the motorcycle show/swap meet and tattoo contest held here in town last weekend. Honestly, I am glad I forgot my camera. The people were good as the people are always pretty good, the small amount of stuff there was actually decent, but the collective was just depressing. I mean don't get me wrong, if I wanted to get some rockers sewn on or maybe buy some leathers, than it was the place to be, but the "show" part of the show was less a show and more an example of why it sucks to live here. I believe there was less than 20 bikes present, and 3 to 5 of them were displays for a trike company, and several came with a local motocross sales company. I have taken into consideration the fact that I do not want to be out in freezing ass temperatures on a rainy day, let alone unload a trailer with 1 or more bikes, but at the same time, when my 9 year old daughter asks where all the motorcycles are...It leads me to believe that the show is pretty lame.

On the upside, I walked away knowing that next year we will do the Cincinnati Show instead. The pictures from the Easy Riders V-Twin Expo and LOWBROW Low-Down look to me like it was a sick party, and I also noticed the overwhelming presence of some of Faith Skate Supply boys. In the meantime,I get to look at the snow and patiently wait for some better weather. To keep us busy until that happens we are breaking down a 68 BSA 250 Starfire, most likely either making it parts, or putting it back together as a stocker. Plus, it's getting close to junk season so I should be putting some pics up on here very soon.