WTF am I thinking

Those are my Babies

2014-10-02T10:35:00.002-07:00

Morgan, Alexis, Sage, Samantha, and Hannah. Yep those are my babies. Okay, I did not give birth to any of them, but I look at them all and see my own daughters. I see my children in their eyes. The only difference between my children and these young ladies... my children are still here with me. Do you think even one of the families directly linked to these girls thought that their little girl would come up missing or even worse murdered? No! No one ever thinks that something like this will shatter their own family. People think, it won't happen to us, that sort of thing happens to other people. But... what happens when you become those other people that these things happen to? What do you do? Do you roll into a ball and just give up? Or do you become an advocate to bring notice to other missing girls and educate other young people that there are very real risks in this world?

I do not know much about Sage or Samantha's parents and family. I would like to, I would love to see how they are since their babies vanished. Are they okay? Are they still looking? Are they silently raising awareness?

Then we see Morgan's parents Dan and Gil, and Alexis' family. Dan and Gil started Help Save the Next Girl. A wonderful organization that is a HUGE advocate of victims and such a great support to the families. Alexis' family is involved with HSTNG.

And now we have Hannah's parents. Going through the same thing as many other families. Not knowing where their daughter is. could you imagine the pain?

Dan and Gil are by far the strongest people I have ever seen. The man charged with abducting Hannah is linked to the death and disappearance of Morgan. Instead of being shattered all over again, they are so concentrated on finding Hannah. And we will find her! I can feel it! Whether she is still alive or has drifted over to a much better place. To me Hannah is a hero. Because of her, there is a Monster off the street ( I won't even say his name, he isn't worth it and all he wants is this attention). She has saved countless more girls and families from going through this heart break.

What can we do to save our children? We can educate and make them aware. We bring these beautiful, wonderful little people into this world. Raise them the best that we can in the hopes that we are preparing them for the real world and that one day that they will change it. And they can and do in their own way. The sad fact is that for every beast they take off the streets that are praying on our children, there are 2 more to replace them.

I remember being a teenager, I remember my 20's. I did a lot of stupid things, and learned lessons from them. I participated in underage drinking and wondered around town alone and drunk. I was raped. Looking back, I'm lucky that is all that happened to me. It could have been so much worse.

My children are still young, but there will come a day when they are out and about on their own. A time that I won't be there to watch after them to make sure they are safe. And I am petrified of that day! So in the meantime I am teaching them to to care for themselves in the safest way possible. I know that they will stumble and make mistakes. That they will think they are to old to listen to old Mom. But I hope these things will stick with them. Just because I do not think I can be like Dan and Gil. I wouldn't be able to advocate. My world would be shattered and I would just cease to exist.

But for now, I am advocating! I am doing all I can to help HSTNG. To support Hannah's family and the efforts to bring her home! She NEEDS to be home! All of these children need to be brought home! Not just for their families but for all of us. Because they are OUR children!

Personal safety for everyone:

Travel in groups to avoid being out alone
Always use the buddy system
Always have at least one person not drinking to safely escort you
Know your environment
Stay alert
Keep your belongings close to you
Don't be a woman!!! (As in woman are often sympathetic and easily fall prey to the woe as me act)
Make sure roommates/family know where you are at all times and who you are with

Those are just a few tips

#WhyIstayed

2014-09-10T06:25:00.001-07:00

As someone who had many friends and has herself been in an abusive relationship the #WhyIstayed, #WhyIleft has really hit close to home. People are quick to pass blame on the victim. You here a lot of that you deserve it for not being smart enough to leave, for not being strong enough to get out of a volatile relationship. Sorry people things aren't always so cut and dried and black and white. There are a lot of grey area's in these relationships. You can not see into our hearts and minds. My first marriage did not start with physical abuse. We were married for 6 months when I found myself pregnant. That is when things started turning bad. Not yet physical. Emotional and verbal was the starting point to my decent into Hell. When you hear on a daily basis that you are fat, and ugly and a waste of space, you eventually start to believe it. By the time I had my 2nd daughter I had no self confidence at all. From hearing all day everyday that I could never get any better than him and that no man would want a fat ass with 2 small children I believed it. I thought I could change things. That if I were a better wife, a better mother that maybe he would turn back into the man I had first met. I was separated from my family and friends, because he deemed them all to be "trash". When my 2nd daughter was 6 months things started getting physical. He would come home and the living room would be a mess. Which would result in an argument about having 2 small children in the house and that they needed to come before the cleaning, which would lead to me getting pushed or hit. Then he would cry and apologize and promise that it would never happen again. And ya know what? I believed him every time. I thought I could change him by becoming what he wanted me to be. But no matter what I did, it was never enough. I thought I could love him through it, and that one day he would see what he was doing to me was wrong. Every hit, slap, and push was because I did this or I did that. I made him do it with my behavior. And I believed it. Not because I was weak, but because over the course of 2 1/2 years he had brain washed me into thinking that way. The last thing that started was the sexual abuse.I had a 2 children, was then working full time and was running on little sleep. When I did sleep I would be woke up to him rolling me over pushing my face into the pillow and anally raping me. Crying, screaming, and thrashing about did nothing more than anger him. I was lost and confused. My whole life I was told that Divorce was a sin. That those vows I took with him were sacred and never to be broken. Till death do us part meant just that. Death. And I just knew that I would be the one to finally break free.That one day he would be so angry that he would kill me. And I made peace with that. I was ready to move on from this life to the next.

My main turning point was 3 months before my Parent's car accident. He had been in the ICU at the hospital for an extended amount of time then. He wasn't there to tell me what I can or can't do. I was happy, the kids were happy, life was good. I remember seeing the look on my daughters faces when I was going to take them to see him at the hospital. they didn't want to go. They were afraid he would hurt me again. I knew then that this was my chance to get away. Make a clean break. This was my Divine intervention, a sign from God. I packed up all his shit put it on the curb for trash pick up and me and the kids moved in with my Mom. And it was great. I had my family and friends back. The people he deemed as "trash" were the ones to hold me up when I stumbled. I didn't feel as alone anymore. After the accident they are the ones that took care of me, and gave me a shoulder to cry on. 10 months after the accident I met Hubby.

It was weird to say the least. I didn't know how scarred I was from the marriage to the Ex. I walked on egg shells afraid that Hubby would be the same way. That the slightest thing would set him off as well. They never did. Over time my mental wounds have somewhat healed. I will always have scars on my heard from what I went through, but I know what it is like to really love and be loved. I know that what I had with the Ex is NOT what love should be.

It was a long road but where I am now is a great place to be. I don't have to live in fear anymore.

Now think about that before you judge someone for staying when you think they should leave. It takes time to get to that place. And by the time you are there you think that staying is the right thing to do. Just be there for your friends, and family members. Trust me, they will get to the point where they are ready for better things.

What did I just see?

2014-06-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have learned a great deal about who I want to be. More so since having my girls. Being a Mom has been the most life changing thing ever. And because of them I want to be a good role model. I have always been strong-willed and for the most part self sufficient. My happiness does not revolve around who is around me. This is MY life and My job to secure my happiness. I though most women felt this way. I was playing around on Facebook earlier and a post from a friend caught my eye. (Do you have those people that as soon as you see their name you want to spork yourself in the eyes because you know they are babbling about non-sensical, Oh woe as me shit? Well this is the person for me)

I saw this and I wanted to swish bleach around in my head to flush out the stupid I just read. This young Lady has a 5 year old daughter. What kind of example is she setting for this young child? This is co-dependent bull shit! I'm sorry but in your life you control your happiness. Your happiness does not depend on who or what you have around you. And to depend on a fucking man to be happy?!?! Don't get me wrong, I love my Hubby, he is my best friend and I am happy when he is around, but do I depend on him for my happiness? FUCK NO!!! Men are good for 4 things... Sex, fixing broke shit, killing spiders, and the occasional conversation. And honestly, Hubby makes me the happiest when he is fixing something and KILLS a spider at the same time!!! Then I reward him with sex. This means I trained him properly.

If for some wacked out reason, you believe that you can only be happy with a man, you seriously need to reevaluate your life. Why not use this "man free" time to find yourself? Find what makes you happy? Spend time with your child make lasting memories with her? And not go out man hunting to try and replace the one that just left. When you do this and you have a child people view you as a selfish man hungry whore! Seriously.... It's time to grow up.

Just gonna put this out there

2014-06-16T14:10:00.002-07:00

I will be the first person to admit that sometimes I have major parenting fails. Like perhaps watching my language around the Little's. This has come back to bite me in the ass just this week. Little Little had Pre-K graduation. She was so stinking cute up on that little outdoor stage getting her certificate. That is until she dropped it and yelled out "What the Hell". Yep my precious, angel faced 4 year old cursed on school property in front of the school principal, other parents, and her classmates. I'm tellin ya, I just wanted to crawl under that bench and die.

I'm just going to say this... Sometimes, okay in my case most of the time kids ARE assholes!

Take my older 2. Think 1 is 10 going on 25. She has such a smart assed and sassy attitude. I swear I would get more of a reaction talking to a damn wall. Then we have Thing 2, who God forbid you ask her to do ANYTHING,, and I mean anything. And she throws a massive fit like you are trying to remove a major body organ without anesthesia. Seriously. Hey, Thing 2, can you please pick up four flip flop so psycho dog doesn't eat it...... massive screaming crying fit, so I do it and she is fine.

See kids are assholes, and that's being nice about it, honestly if you have daughters, the term BITCH flies through your brain many times a day.

I don't know where they get this from. I have noticed Thing 1 and 2 are much much worse behaving when they return from their sperm donors on the weekend he decides to , ya know actually be a semi Dad.

And people wonder why I drink..... MORE wine please STAT!!!

I Volunteer - MCM

2014-06-16T14:10:00.001-07:00

Of course I am still on my Dani kick. I mean what is there to not love about him? I recently learned that not only does he love kids... but he wants a baby. So being the wonderful person I am, I volunteer!!!

I mean seriously! I have a list of reasons he should choose me to be the Mother of his Russian ~~spawn~~ babies. Of course I insist that we do this the old fashioned way. And with my current fertility issues we might have to do the deed 24/7 for what could be years. But that is a sacrifice that I am willing to make.

I mean it. Look at that face!!! It's going to be hard work, but I will do what is needed for the good of the world.

Here is my wonderful list as to why he should procreate with me!!!

I have YEARS of Mommy experience
I loved being pregnant
I am actually less bitchy while pregnant (so not only would he be getting the baby that he wants, but would be bettering the world by making one bitchy woman less bitchy)
I make super cute kids (well little girls, but I'm sure a boy would be cute too)
Together we would make an awful perty baby!!!

^^^^^ See I research before the deed to make sure.

And that my Lovelies is why I should be chosen to have Danila's babies!!!

Wait for it

2014-05-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday Bitches!!!

We had a metric fuckton of things to do do today. Bills to pay. All that good shit. And of course I got a late start. Older Little's missed the bus. Mainly because the bus runs at 6:45 and I didn't roll out of bed till 7:38 this morning. they had to be at school before 8:30. Rolled into the parking lot at 8:28. I literally told then to tuck and roll out the door. Me and Little diva then went and paid all the bills. And of course after spending all of Hubbies hard earned money on the essentials like power and Dish, we had to get a Bubblecake fix. Holy orgasmic cupcakes!

Man Crush Monday!!!!!

2014-05-12T11:14:00.002-07:00

I hate Mondays. It's the day where I have so much to get started on. Between housework, schoolwork, work work, and the Little's I never get anything done. So to brighten everyone's day I'm putting up more eye candy!

Liam Hemsworth!!!

Ian Somerhalder

Jenson Ackles

Brett Michaels

Johnny Depp!!!

Norman Reddus (Aka Daryl)

Channing Tatum

And of course DANILA KOZLOVSKY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who still isn't following me on Twitter.... I now haz a sad :(

What I want for Mother's Day

2014-05-11T09:20:00.002-07:00

I have NEVER had a good Mother's Day. It's just a crappy day for me. It just reminds me that my Mom isn't here to celebrate with. And makes me miss her so much more. I know what I want but no one seems to get my subtle hints. So I'm making my list for next year in hopes that the Children and the husband will get the point.

1: I want to sleep uninterrupted for however long I wish. I don't give a fuck if I have been in bed for 12 hours. Leave me alone!

2: I want a day where I don't hear Mom every 5 seconds. In face I don't want to hear it at all. If you want me, just call me George or some shit like that.

3: Booze is always an acceptable gift

4: I know I bitch about how useless they are, but maybe I would like flowers

5: I don't want to worry about cooking or cleaning ALL Day!!!

Feeling a bit stalkerish?

2014-05-10T14:26:00.002-07:00

Is that even a word? Stalkerish.... I might have to look into that. Now this sorta thing takes devotion. I should be making dinner for the kids, or cleaning. But I'm not. I am on a mission, the kids and house can wait. Or eat ice cream for dinner. Whatever. Now I have a mission. I want.. no I need for Danila Kozlovsky to follow me on twitter. Why you ask? Well why the hell not? I could send him wonderful messages then. So my mission is to make this happen... NOW. I'm not a patient lady! So we are making a list as to why he should follow me.....

1: Why not follow me? Isn't it obvious that I am freaking awesome?

2: I don't hold back from anything I want to say

3: I am quite persistent, so you might as well follow me now and save us the time of me doing more stalkerish posts about you.

4: I am fun!

5: I'm not overly crazy, but then again I suppose this borders on the line of crazyville. So I'm not crazy crazy, I'm like a fun crazy.

6: I am fucking hilarious!

7: I have an extensive vocabulary. Ok maybe not extensive, but it is colorful.

8: I live in the exciting world of Stay at home mom land, I need something/ someone to entertain me. (Lucky you)

Ok so that is all I could come up with for now, but like seriously you should totally follow me on Twitter. Damnit I'm old (32) and have no life (that's really exciting anyway). I would totally leave my Hubby and maybe one of my kids for you (Yep that doesn't sound creepy at ALL). But really it would mean a lot. And if it helps any my kiddo's would be happy to hear me stop talking about you. Seriously........

#angelsforangela

2014-05-09T15:48:00.002-07:00

I know that I don't reach out into the interwebs often and ask for help. But this is a time that it feels like the right thing to do. My beautiful sweet wonderful friend as suffered loss after loss. In 2012 she lost her sweet boy Will. Just last week she lost her loving Husband after a 5 year battle with colon cancer. Craig was buried Wednesday, and yesterday one of her remaining 2 children, 11 year old Jessica went to join her Daddy and baby brother in Heaven. This has put a horrible financial strain on Angela. She not only has to come up with the money to cover her Husbands funeral, but now has to bury her baby. I could not even begin to imagine the pain she is in right now. Please go to this link and contribute to help out with funeral expenses. Every dollar will count and help. Share share share this post. Lets get the word out and help alleviate some of the financial pressure for Angela. Lets keep her in our prayers for healing and comfort.

Here is the donation link: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/funeral-expenses--8

If you have a twitter account share the link there. Lets get the word out!!

#angelsforangela
#caringfortheboyces

Friday Feels

2014-05-09T14:33:00.002-07:00

So over the past few days my mood has been all over the place. I have spent more time in the hospital with Miss M than I ever wanted to. This week I have been from worry to ecstatic happiness to feeling stabby to mournful lows. Worry for M with fear that she would have emergency surgery, which faded to relief to find out it was just enlarged lymph nodes around her intestines. I felt extremely stabby when the sperm donor decided to come to the hospital. Yep you read that right. The POS that can't be bothered with volleyball or softball and hasn't seen his children since March showed up. And decided to act like he knows every damn thing. I do believe if we hadn't been at a hospital that would revive him, I would have cut him!

Yesterday (Thursday) was a roller coaster ride of feelings. I've been following the Alexis Murphy case since the beginning. I was over the moon to hear that Randy Taylor was found guilty of all counts and was sentenced to TWO life terms. Personally I think he deserves death, but I'll take what I can get.From that wonderful high, I got throat punched and brought to an earth shattering low. My wonderful friend Angela. I love this lady so very much. 1 1/2 years ago her son died tragically. She buried her Husband Craig Tuesday after a 5 year battle with colon cancer (CANCER SUCKS) , She was left with her 2 SMI daughters. Yesterday her oldest daughter passed away (Not going into any details). My heart is broken for this wonderful lady. She has endured so much loss in less than 2 years. I hate that she is going through this. And nothing I can say will make anything better.

Tasty Thursday: Spinach and Crab dip

2014-05-08T17:07:00.001-07:00

Holy tasty goodness! My kids love when I make this orgasmic dip. Now I shall pass this wonderful recipe onto you.

Here is what ya need:

3 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons minced garlic
1 box spinach (frozen)
salt and pepper to taste
3 additional tablespoons of butter
3 tablespoons of flour
1 1/2 cups milk
1 package (8oz) cream cheese
1/2 cups feta cheese
1/2 cups grated Parmesan cheese
3/4 cups grated pepper jack cheese
2/4 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
tortilla chips

Prep:

Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and cook till the garlic are all nice and brown and smelling of buttery galicky goodness.

mmmmmmmmmmmm yummy!!!

Then toss in the frozen spinach and let it cook till it is infused with the garlic butter heavenly goodness.

add a dash of salt and pepper

Till it looks like this!!!

Set the skillet aside and it's time to work on the cheesy goodness.

In a pot melt 3 tablespoons of butter and add 3 tablespoons of flour.

whisk it around till it make a kinda paste

Add 1 1/2 cups of milk. Stir and cook till it is thickened some.

Throw in the cream cheese

Toss in the Feta cheese

Add 1/4 teaspoon of Cayenne pepper

Stir stir stir, Get that shit mixed good!

Stir in 3/4 cups of grated Pepper Jack Cheese.

Get it all mixed thoroughly and toss in the spinach and garlic

Oops forgot to take a pic, open your crab, shred it and toss it in and mix well

Transfer to a buttered baking dish... or a cast iron skillet sprayed with Pam like I did. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

Bake at 375 for 15 minutes till the cheese is all bubbly.

Grab some chips, crackers, pita wedged, a spoon, what ever. Eat and enjoy!!!

Late night Bitchiness

2014-05-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

I am in Hell. Truly I am in Hell. I had to bring Miss M back to the E.R over her tummy. Fine, I brought my cell, tablet, and laptop to keep us entertained. Easy peasy, right? WRONG!! My POS ex-husband decided that tonight is the perfect time to be a Dad. Are you fucking kidding me? This sack of shit can't even come to Miss B's softball games. And now he shows up, acting like he knows everything and trying to diagnose Miss M on his own. Mother Fucker you haven't gotten the kids for your weekends since fucking MARCH!! Why am I being punished?

I hate that man with a fierceness I didn't know possible, and now I am stuck in a little room with him and my kid. FML someone needs to come up with some bail money.... I'm gonna need it!

Can I get a Mulligan?

2014-05-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days where I really need a do over. The whole day started bad. The alarm went off and scared me out of my wonderful dream of Danila K, as in it scared me so bad I jumped and in the process fell out of the bed and hit my head on the night stand. From there the day has just gotten worse and worse. I walk in the bathroom and slip in water (why must my children play in the bathroom) and bust my ass. Walking back to the kids rooms to wake them up for school I stubbed my toe on the coffee table and then walk into the fucking wall. I mean REALLY WALL?!?! Why is it even there? Get thing 2 off to school and come back to make breakfast for things 1 and 3, and I burn myself and spill a whole gallon of milk in the floor. I had a Dr appointment. Of course I was running late. And I missed it and they wouldn't fit me in. And to top it all off, I got a speeding ticket. I haven't been pulled over in 6 fucking years. One would think I would just get a warning. Nope that cock sucker gave me a ticket and told me to control my child. WTF?!?! Miss V had to go potty and was telling me that. WTF am I suppose to do, duck tape her mouth shut? So yeah I really need to start today over. It is 3:01pm, it can only get better from here... right?

Tuesday 10's

2014-05-06T15:59:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying this whole "consistent" blog thing, where I will write something everyday. I had a damn plan for today, but alas, spending all day at the E.R with Miss M cut into what I wanted to do. I barely got home in time to get Miss B off the bus, and then I had to make dinner and clean the house. So what I was going to do today (and trust me you would have LOVED it) will be moved to Thursday, fingers crossed we don't end up back at the hospital, but that is my plan. I'm sure you are wondering what is wrong with Miss M, so I'll tell ya a little about that before moving onto what I'm getting at today. M's tummy has been hurting for the past week. This morning she could barely move, so I took her to her Ped. they did a strep test (which as positive), and then they were concerned about her appendix and sent us over to the E.R. They did blood work, M's white count is elevates (which could be from the strep), and then did an ultrasound.... which showed nothing. so they talked with the surgeon, and said to hold off till Thursday. That her tummy may be bothering her from the strep, but that if it is still bothering her then that I need to call her ASAP, and then they would remove it. Good times people. Nothing better than spending the day at the hospital with a kid in pain, and a 4 year old that wanted to act like she was possessed. I was inches from brewing up my own holy water and dousing her with it and screaming "Christ compels you" .

Now onto what I'm getting at today. 10 things about me :)

1: I love to read. I'm currently reading The King by JR Ward (I love me some BDB)

2: I am absolutely petrified of clowns (in fact just the word creeps me out)

3: I simply can not sleep in the dark... or alone

4: I love all music, I can go from Old School country to Godsmack in 2.5 seconds

5: I am a domestic violence survivor.

6: I would love to have more babies

7: I will always choose the Mountains over the Beach

8: I am trying unsuccessfully to quit smoking

9: I am terrible at math. In fact just the fact that I have managed to get to number 9 is amazing.

10: I have a multitude of health issues. The one currently impacting my life the most is my fibromyalgia.

There we go. 10 things about me. What about you?

Two Words (Man Crush Monday)

2014-05-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

Danila Kozlovsky.....

Yeah if you thought I was just going to say those 2 words, then you just don't know me very well. It is after all "Man Crush Monday".

Just look at that adorable face!!!

Living in the U.S, we don't always get to see actors from other countries. Watching Vampire Academy, I discovered this perfect specimen of manliness. WTF Russia, why are you keeping him to yourself? It's time to share Bitches!!!

Danila's hotness in Vampire Academy

I have scoured the interwebs for info on Danila. And through my findings he is on my "freebie list". Along with Johnny Depp and Brett Michaels. However they have dropped significantly, seeing how Danila takes the first 3 slots. Do Y'all know what that means? I can have my way with him a good 3 times before the Hubby gets mad. But that is more than enough time for Danila to fall hopelessly in love with my ~~sexual~~ ~~prowess~~ brain, and good soul, not to mention my stunning personality.

Danila has a lot going for him. Here is a list of why you should love him too.

He is uber cute
That accent! (Can you imagine him speaking his native tongue in your ear during a rousing game of Monkey in the Middle)
Charity work! He is big time into kids charities. He even helped open a center for children with Autism.
He is a superb actor
Did I mention that he is HOT?

Yep so Danila is my newest Man Crush! It was love at first stalk :)

A note from the mom of a girl to the moms of boys, you lucky bitches!

2014-05-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

I miss the good old days. Ya know the days that my oldest daughter had NO INTEREST AT ALL in ... (shudder) boys.

The days when you had a boyfriend and then broke up a day or 2 later.

Yep those days are long gone now.

I have a 10 year old going on 16 Y'all.

Miss M has been with Mr.K for 9 months!!!! that's right, NINE FREAKING MONTHS!!!

She tells me things. Like she loves him. And I get to hear about the class will be home wrecker trying to break her and K up, but they won't let that happen because their love is true. Where does she get this shit?

I've met K a few times. In general he is a sweet kid.

He tells M that she is beautiful and smart. He carries her books for her and holds doors open.

I'm proud of her taste in men. She knows not to put up with anyone's shit, and she doesn't. She has K trained!

It's a hard pill to swallow to realize that your babies are growing up.

It's even worse when the person that has your child's attention gives her the "look". I hate that look. Ya know, the look of total adoration.... Yep I hate it!

And that is when I know that you bitches that harvested only winkies in your uterus... I hate you!

You only have to worry about the winkies you brought into this world. However, I who birthed 3 girls have to worry about every damn winkie in the universe. Even alien winkies!!! If it has a winkie I am tripping balls and plotting how I am going to remove said winkie if it comes near my daughter.

There are more days than I can count that I pray that my girls gain a ton of weight and start sprouting facial hair. Just so I don't have to worry about winkies. But like Hubby said, ugly hairy bitches need love too, and there is pretty much a guarantee that there is a hideous man that would think my hideous hairy daughter was hot. And then I am once again googling winkie removal. Terms like ungloved are Loraina Bobbit flood my mind.

You know that saying that what when you have children what you did to your parents will come back to you to the 3rd power. It's the universes way of straightening you out, and teaching you a lesson. I am beyond screwed, and all I can say if FUCK YOU UNIVERSE! I HATE YOUR NASTY FACE!!!

Now I am seriously considering home schooling all of the kids just to keep them about from boys for the rest of their lives.

I have grey hairs and wrinkles over this shit! NOT COOL!!!

I'm not ready for Grand babies.

Not saying my girls will be whores, but the 3rd power shit really has me worried at this point!

I was a shitty boy crazy teen. Now I have a shitty boy crazy, and MOUTHY 10 year old to contend with.

Yeah you bitches with boys have it easy.

I shouldn't have to defend myself

2014-04-14T14:31:00.003-07:00

As a parent you should never have to defend what you do. Yet it seems I have to do just that. I have come under fire recently for putting my 4 year old in pageants.

To me this is non-sense. I don't force her to do them. She does them because she likes them. I am not exploiting my child.

Pageants teach my daughter self confidence. She loves the attention she gets while she is on stage. Pageants are no different than softball, football, or any other sport. It takes practice and time.

And honestly of she didn't enjoy it we would not be doing them.

Does this look like a child that isn't having fun???

This kid is CRAY CRAY

2014-04-11T18:08:00.000-07:00

So today while Tori and I were out and about running errands she was talking NON-STOP!! We were driving through Radford and she told me to hit the students with the car. When I asked why.... She said "I don't freaking know". Everytime I would slowdown for a student in the crosswalk she would scream "GO MOMMY HIT THEM"!!! Needless to say, I had to roll my windows up lol

Pageant fever!!!!

2014-02-25T13:04:00.001-08:00

So my Little has in the NRV pageant the other week where she got 1st runner up!!! In April she has state, and another local pageant..... So excited! Pictures to follow

I'm ALIVE!!!... And mostly sane

2014-02-19T07:46:00.002-08:00

What started as this:

Turned into this:

And led me to be trapped indoors with 3 destructive, screaming, fighting Littles for a WEEK!!!!! That's right A Flippin WEEK!!!!!

After 2 bottles of wine, and the rest of my vodka, they are officially back in school today.

When fears become reality

2014-01-14T10:48:00.000-08:00

As a parent of a MI child I know the fears of many other parents like me. We are a club that no one wants to be a part of yet we were somehow invited to join regardless of our wants. Our initiation? Melt downs, threats of suicide or harm to others, sudden burst of violence, our babies seeing and hearing things that we their parents can not see and hear.

We avoid the news like the plague. Instead invest ourselves into our normal, our sanctuary. Imaginary or not, but it keeps us sane. Until a bit a news sneaks past all of our defenses. This time? One name Kelly Thomas.

Although the incident took place in 2011, today's verdict took me back to the fear I felt when it first happened. It could be my daughter in 10 years, or any of my friends children. It's a fear that could easily become a reality as it did for Kelly's father Ron.

The NOT GUILTY verdict not only rattles me but also secures my fear. The fear that those that are supposed to serve and protect us are often the assailants. Instead of helping they are attacking with such force that it causes death.

Kelly was just sitting there.

The police were looking for a fight in my opinion.

They didn't stop beating on him, even after he had calmed down. They didn't have to taze a frightened schizophrenic young man 6 times, yet they did.

I watched the full attack (and I use the word attack because that is exactly what it is) video. It made me physically ill. I was heart broken and angry all at the same time.

How can they not be guilty?

Officer Ramos asked Kelly if he could see if fist, and when Kelly said yes, he said they were about to fuck him up. The police in that town were gunning for a fight. Early in the video you can see Ramos playing with his baton. Slapping it against his hip. I wasn't aware it was a toy to be played with. Perhaps it was to intimidate Kelly. In fact I'm sure it was to.

Things need to change!

We can not sit by and watch out MI children be treated this way.

There needs to be better training in place for the police.

There needs to be punishment for when these things happen!

They murdered a Mentally Ill person and got away with it. How does that make you feel?

Kelly after attack

Full attack video

Witness accounts after attack

No you tell me where that Not Guilty verdict made sense? Does this look like justice to you?

I don't want to live in a world where a person can get beat to death just because they seem different.

It is time for a change my friends, time for a change!

Just call me Susie Homemaker

2014-01-12T15:24:00.000-08:00

I made a flan!, Yep you read that right, I made a flan. Kaluah Flan to be exact.

This is what I needed to make it.

Melt 4 cups of sugar

Still melting

Stop messing with my rug!!

Stop being nosy

Don't look at the cat

STOP fighting

Don't watch me!

We're getting there

Finally all melty...... And guess what? I just made caramel!!!

Pour it into a baking dish

Whisk 4 eggs

Add 1 can sweetened condensed milk, and 1 can of plain ole evaporated milk, and whisk it all together.

Yummy Kaluah

1 shot for me

3 tablespoons for the flan

Mix that shit up!

Pour mixture on top of caramel , and put the dish in a larger baking pan.

Pour hot water halfway up the side of the flan pan

Bake for 50 minutes to a hour

Sprinkle powdered cocoa ( and I put semi-sweet morsels on top )

ENJOY!!!

Full recipe:

Ingredients
3/4 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (12-ounce) can evaporated milk
2 tablespoons coffee-flavored liqueur (recommended: Kahlua)
Mexican chocolate shavings and cocoa powder, garnish
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

In a small saucepan, cook the sugar over medium heat until it starts to melt. Lower the heat and cook until caramelized to a golden brown. (Do not stir or touch the sugar, but swirl the pan to melt evenly.)

Pour into a metal flan mold or 9-inch cake pan. Turn the dish and swirl to evenly coat the bottom. Let caramel cool and harden.

Place the dish in a larger roasting pan and add hot water to come halfway up the sides of the baking dish. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs. Add the condensed and evaporated milks and Kahlua and whisk well to blend. Pour into the prepared pan. Bake until set and just firm in the center but still jiggles slightly, 50 minutes to 1 hour. Let cool on a wire rack. Refrigerate until well chilled, at least 2 hours.

To serve, run a thin sharp knife around the rim of the flan. Place a platter or large plate on top of the flan and gently flip over so the plate is on the bottom. Lift away the mold. Garnish with powdered cocoa and top with Mexican chocolate shavings.

Cut into wedges and serve immediately.

Holy Balls!!

2014-01-10T21:21:00.001-08:00

I know I know, I haven't wrote anything in a hot minute. Well my dearies that is going to change. I have a metric fuckton of things to write about now. So much is going on, I just have to figure out where to start. And I'm gonna do things different this year. I'm going to start putting recipes up.. only the good stuff. The things I make and the kids hate, yeah not gonna put that shit up. Also we have quite a few pageants coming up and I'm going to blog about them as well. I need to do a write up for the last one we did in November. And there is a very personal issue I'm going to write about. And sooo many other things. So starting Monday, I will be back at it. I promise that I will have at least one decent things for Y'all to read about... and roll your eyes at a week :)

You wanna spork in the eye?

2013-10-21T09:49:00.001-07:00

This is a public service announcement to all Husbands:

This whole post came to mind last night in bed when the Hubby was brave enough to ask when the last time I shaved my legs was.

First thought that came to my head was to cut him.

I'm here all day with the kids. I have a shit ton of errands to run. a house to clean, meals to prepare, and homework to oversee.

There are only so many hours in the day. Lets face it guys. We already have you! that and it's starting to get cold outside, and honestly no one will be able to see our legs. So if I want to save time and NOT shave my legs, be smart and don't say anything about it. Be happy that I am still trimming other areas. That and lets face it.... I don't even know when I last shaved.