This Ain't No Effin Mom blog

My Rock Star Diary part 10

2012-04-18T09:59:00.000-04:00

Part one

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight (scroll below)

Part Nine

Is this you're real name my professor asked? "Dani"? Dannnniiiii.......

"Huh" I replied

"This is seriously your name?" She asked once again...

"Dr. , do you really think that you're the first and only person to have asked me this? Do you really think I seek enjoyment out of this?"

Every time I get that look of confusion, I'm reminded of all of the things that I didn't want to be reminded of.

My past.....

My entire life unfolds in music form. How complete and total strangers know more about me than I know about myself.

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Dear Ann Romney: a working Mom's point of view, bitch please!

2012-04-16T18:03:00.003-04:00

Now, as most of you know...I don't like getting into politics at all.
As a matter of fact, I find most politicians to be a bunch of ignorant ass bastards. Ann Romney included.
What pissed me off you ask?
The fact that this stay at home rich snobby bitch, decided that she was going to speak on behalf of her husband (Mitt) and make snobby ass comments regarding working mom's and welfare mom's.
She stated that "welfare Mom's need to get off of welfare and get real paying jobs" and that "stay at home mom's are working mom's"...... that she "raised 5 sons and that was a full time job" and then proceeded to give a shout out to actual working mother's..
All I have to say is BITCH PLEASE!!
Dear Ann:
I by no means put myself into the same category as you. No, I am a working mom. I work 2 jobs providing for my 5 KIDS! I do not have the luxury of staying at home to raise my children and to claim that as a full time job! Most working Mom's would beg to differ with you on this. Ann, you have no idea what it's like to provide for a family, to pay their bills, to buy food with hard earned money that you sweat for. No..... Ann, my body hurts from the physical stress my job's bring on a daily basis. The amount of ibuprofen consumption from the migraines that I get, thanks to the lack of sleep, working a night job. The stress of not knowing when you're actually going to sleep in a bed this week, mind you to get up at any given luxurious time. No Ann, I am a working mother. A mother that is employed by two jobs. A mother that misses her kids on a daily basis. A mother that no way shape or form puts her self in your snotty ass upper class lifestyle. I do not have that luxury. But Ann, I do have kids that will see how much their Mom busted her ass to raise them and to give them everything they need and want.
Oh ...and P.S.
Ann, you ignorant ass fuck.....Most welfare Mom's do not in fact want to be on welfare. They don't have a choice! I know it's hard for your rich petty ass to see that the economy blows and this does include the LACK of jobs available to the working class. You're so called "welfare" Mom's don't have much of a choice.
And please...no more "shout outs" to "us" Mom's....you're nothing but a fucking disgrace to us working women...
Thank you
-dani-
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Hey Douches, catch a clue?!?!?!

2012-04-01T21:00:00.004-04:00

No, I don't want to write for your blog.
No, I don't guest post for shit, and I don't want you guest posting on my shit!
Don't ask me to advertise shit for you unless it's seriously fucked up and you want me to make fun of it.
Now, let me get this clear for you...
I AM NOT A MOM BLOG
I do not write about breast pumps and breast feeding. I don't write about the cute shit my kids did or have done. I don't write about the quality of parenting, or how cool and smart my kids are..
As a matter of fact: I'm quite contentless.
Now, if you're looking for someone to write about how to teach your kids to get beer and how to put oven fires out when you're passed out drunk......I'm your writer.....
Other than that....I really suggest you not asking for my talentless talent....

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Too sexy

2012-03-09T12:19:00.001-05:00

Wtf?!?!

Shopping spree!

2012-02-19T00:43:00.001-05:00

Retarded pic of the Day!

2012-02-09T19:12:00.001-05:00

Can you guess what this is?
The winner receives nothing!
Great incentive huh?

Huh?

2012-02-08T09:06:00.001-05:00

Something cool

2012-02-07T22:13:00.001-05:00

Not really...
So I got a new tat!
Oh and please note. I look like shit here... Not my normal look ;)

Really bad mood

2012-01-14T12:57:00.001-05:00

Everything sucks... I'm just convinced of it... Maybe I'm pmsing or something...

Dear "friend"

2012-01-04T20:59:00.001-05:00

So, it's been about 24 hours or so since I really talked to you last. How weird it is huh? I'm so used to being text bombed through out my day, something minor to look forward to. A type of withdraw maybe?
I never ever thought you would be the one? If I had a million dollars or so, I would have never bet on it, ever..
I guess it goes to show that I'm a pretty shitty judge of character? The very few people that I allow in my life only to hurt me in return? I would've bought you the world... I don't know what changed? I'm still confused as to the declination... New found friends? I have always been here, a promise that I have always kept... Just to have your promise ever so broken..
I'm resilient though, and I've informed you of this before. Thanks to my past I roll with the punches.. Sometimes it takes a good whack from someone you love to put this entire shitty world into perspective... Yes, I said love... A word that very seldom slips from my lips.. But again, you know why...
A word so powerful yet not... A word of weight... Just a fucking word right?

Backstabber

2012-01-04T08:35:00.000-05:00

Backstabber: A person who attempts to discredit (a person) by underhanded means, as innuendo, accusation, or the like.
back·stab verb (used with object), -stabbed, -stab·bing. Example: My friend who once was, backstabbed me with my own sister!
Fool: noun, a person who has been tricked or deceived into appearing or acting silly or stupid: to make a fool of someone.
Example: I was made to look like a fucking fool when I figured out what was going on and yet my friend continued to lie to me.

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Tis the season to be a douche!

2011-12-19T18:41:00.001-05:00

I despise this time of year! I know, I know... Bah hum bug right? Now, I don't despise this time of year because I have 345 kids all of which have a minimum request of $500.00 worth of shit! No, I despise this time of year because of the super extra douche bags you have to shop with. I hate lines! But I hate lines full of retards asking retarding questions, insisting that a certain product comes in a certain color when it clearly does not! Or how about the douche bags that literally smell like sweaty ass rubbing up against you in a crowded ass store trying to buy cologne? How about those super snotty douche bitches that wear super high heels trying to look like they're a million dollars only to pay for super expensive purses with store credit and product returns?
Ya, I can keep going.. But I'm sure you don't want me to cheer you up!

Pic of the day!

2011-12-05T05:15:00.001-05:00

I've been playing around with photography (obviously). I just wish that I had more time.

Where oh where did my boobies go?

2011-12-03T20:59:00.001-05:00

By the way, did you know blogger put an app out for the iPhone? How cool!

City life, just a pic.

2011-11-30T19:53:00.001-05:00

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Because all we need is a helping hand....sometimes

2011-11-28T12:25:00.001-05:00

So here I am...
Chilling with the sister.. She comes up with the brilliant idea..."let's go shopping".
I figured...why not..So what if its black Friday weekend..
So my sister and I went to a local mall. I thought that I was going to come by some awesome deals...but there wasn't shit.
So, we came up with the brilliant idea.
"What if we try and buy something that no one wants". What if we try to buy a mannequin?
Here we are in Macy's. Every one is going psycho for dumb shit, here we are dissembling a mannequin.
Score! We got a hand!
We waited in line to pay for our hand for about 45 minutes. When it was our turn, my sister plopped the hand on the counter. The check out girl just stared at us. My sister asks how much her hand is...check out girl keeps staring. Manager man comes over to help. Sister again asks, how much her hand is...
Manager man just stares and then busts out laughing hysterically. He said " You stood in line that long for a mannequin hand?" Sister replies " You can never have enough hands." Manager man: "well, not according to our mannequin, she's now one short". Sister: "well, she should've stood in line to buy this one."

Pictures of us buying a helping hand:

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Ever wonder what a super model looks like with no makeup?

2011-11-27T13:18:00.001-05:00

Well, here you go!
Ok, maybe not a super model....

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Torture, theyre trying to kill me!

2011-11-25T19:04:00.001-05:00

So, Thanksgiving came and went. And my job decided that they were going to feed us "employees" that had to work.
This is part of their torturous death creation that they wanted us to consume.

Still under debate as to what it can possibly be?

Here, let me zoom in for ya..

We tried to use is to hang up our broken wall lamp. It did indeed work..
Hmmmm, can you say work torture...anyone????

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Dummy!

2011-11-23T20:29:00.001-05:00

This is my co-worker. I call her dumb ass, but she doesn't really care for the nick name. It does appear however that she was trying to get drunk off of Milk of Mag.

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Up for interpretation?

2011-11-22T18:56:00.001-05:00

A shadow in the night.

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Me and a blog revamp?

2011-11-21T20:35:00.001-05:00

This is me at work at like 3am today. Hey LL, I think it was the very same time I was emailing ya!

I'm thinking about turning this blog into a daily picture blog. I thought that it would be cool to take a picture a day. It'll keep the blog alive, make it simple, and a lot less thought involved.
I figured, why not start on my birthday, it'll be easy to remember when the year comes up..
I'm curious to see how my stats go up over the year too. So let's consider it an experiment.
What do you guys think?

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EFF you CL&P! Connecticut Light and Power, the winner of the Eff You Award!

2011-11-19T13:19:00.001-05:00

As if most of you don't know already, but CT was hit pretty hard with the weird October snowstorm.
It took down lots of power lines and trees and left around 800,000 families without power. My family being one of them. What most people don't know is that because of the landscape of CT, a lot of us have wells for a water source. Wells need electricity to run. This in turn left hundreds of thousands of families without water, heat, and electricity.
Our cell phone towers were down too. So for a week there was no communication at all. No land lines, no cell phones..
After the first day of no heat, water and lights. We (residents of CT) were promised a quick return of power and to expect it soon. That night I spent the night in my car with 5 kids, because it was 30 degrees here and all hotel rooms were taken in a 80 mile radius. The night went by very slow and very dark, only a radio for entertainment, but at least we were warm right?
Day 2....nothing and no updates. We showered at a local school which was run off of a generator. That night was 22 degrees and we spent it in the car.
Day 2 was spent trying to find more flashlights and batteries, but most were already bought and used. I stayed in a line for gas for 3 hours, just so I can get through the night again with some heat.
Day 3, my house was so cold that nothing in my fridge thawed and my milk actually froze! My 10 year old fish tank full of 10 year old fish died! I was so upset. Again we were told to expect relief sometime today. Relief never came... Another night in a car with no shower. I used propane on my grill to heat food and water. Used snow to flush our toilets.
Day 4, ahhhhhh a shower and a hot one. But at the local PD. How weird showering with police officers, but beggars cant be choosers right? Another night in a car with 5 kids. Damned this fucking kink in my neck from not being able to lay down! Fuck these 3 hour gas lines to get gas for my car just so my kids can be warm.
Day 5, A friend of mine got her power back on and offered us to come over for a hot meal and a warm night. How do you say no?
Day 6, at 6pm...a flicker of light in my dark and very very cold house. Our lights were on and it took several hours to get my house from 38 degrees to 65.
There was no acceptable explanations for this bullshit. Except that for all of the money that I pay this pathetic monopoly of an energy company, something should have been done!
So many babies went cold, families with relatives that died! People that couldnt keep warm and eat!
Connecticut Light and Power, rot in hell for the fucking torture we had to endure and you're pathetic explanations and irresponsibility! I really hope that there's one fucking hell of a class action, cause my name will be on top of that list!
CL&P cost me about $300.00 in gas money and about another 200.00 in other expenses including loss and damages. You better hope that my pipes don't burst cause I'm tacking that On to my bill as well. All of this money and I still have to pay you stupid bitches!
FUCK YOU CONNECTICUT LIGHT AND POWER!

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You know you're famous when......

2011-10-29T23:32:00.003-04:00

Ok, so maybe not exactly famous...
So the story goes a little something like this:
My son came up to me and goes "Mom you gotta check out this cool iphone app." "It's called the Akinator, basically it's this magic genie thing that guesses your famous person, just by asking you questions."
I figured I'd try it out, picking Lucille Ball as my famous person....and guess what...it got it right!
After a couple more famous people that this magic genie got right, I decided to try myself as the "famous person".
Would you know they have me listed?!?!?!
Picture and all...
How freaking cool!

And now I'm done blowing smoke up my ass..
Thanks

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Muammar Gaddafi Death picture (cell phone) October 20th, 2011

2011-10-20T09:11:00.004-04:00

This is for all of you sick fucks...
Enjoy..
This photo has yet been confirmed.

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Dear stupid bitches..

2011-09-26T20:52:00.001-04:00

Dear stupid bitches:
You know damned right well who I'm referring to.
I just wanted to thank you for fucking up my week. It has been an absolute pleasure knowing that you can't be trusted and when shit hits the fan you turn into a bunch of slimy douchebags.
Nothing like pointing a finger at someone else who had nothing to do with your stupidity and horrible actions. I'll let you in a little secret however.. Even though you're significantly older than myself, (and if you're not you sure as fuck look it).....THE TRUTH ALWAYS PREVAILS, AND HONESTY REALLY IS THE BEST POLICY.
Oh...and karma really is a motherfucker!

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