XCENTRIC-ANGEL

Lost Love

2018-11-11T09:54:00.001-05:00

I close my eyes and I see you.
In every cell of my body, is you.
You've become a part of me,
and now I can't just be.
Without you it's eternity
spent without knowing me.
There is no color,
no shine, no memory.
Of life, of me, of reality.
Nothing after you,
nothing before you.
A shadow of the past.
A glimpse into serenity
Never have I ever seen,
something perfect, like we've been.
We loved, we adored, we worshipped.
We were one soul in two bodies.
Entwined together, we thought we'd be.
But destiny said you weren't meant for me.
I fought, and I struggled to hold on tight.
But you slipped through my fingers that night.
You didn't look back,
to see my cry.
I was on my knees,
begging to die.
Cause without you,
there was nothing I could do.
So I floated along in life
fuelled by our memories.
Of the times we had.
The love we shared.
The promises we thought
we'd never break.
I'm still here, floating around,
waiting to hear the sound,
of your loving voice,
asking me to come back home.

Within Me

2017-02-08T01:01:00.001-05:00

Rage of emotions like a storm in the sea
When will it calm down, and let me be
It takes me up, and throws me down
Hurting me, bruising me, making me strong.
I can not avoid it, I do not want it
But to soar above it, a light has to be lit.
A fire grows within me,
Claiming me, calming me,
Raging slowly, growing bright.
What is this plight? Is this right?
What a paradox of emotions I feel!
The Source close to me, yet far from me.
When will it stop, when will I let go
What is this wonder, what is its goal?
A war dance begins in the depths of my soul
Will it break me or consume me whole?
Yet the storm rages, and the waves crash with force
How do I get away from its course?
A slow and steady beat of the drums I hear.
Beating through the storm, and coming near.
I am still, I am here, in the middle of the storm,
I can hear.
The steady beat aligns with my heart
All the fright in me departs.
The clouds slightly part
And the light flows like beautiful art.
the storm has passed, and yet I stand
Stronger than ever, courageous and grand.
I close my eyes and smile at the sea
For all along the Source was within me!

ECHOS OF THE PAST (18th Oct 2008)

2016-12-23T23:39:00.000-05:00

Stillness of the mountains
with the night skies stained in moonlight
fill the air slowly with the songs of Crickets.
The wind blows whispering promises
of those who once lived!

The calmness of this night
with the coolness of the breeze
that brushes my face,
sing along in whispers, of love notes
of those who once lived.

Grey mountains look stately
upon the dark blue waters,
water that ripples slowly
touching the shores,
and softly caressing them like lovers
who once lived!

Eons have gone by, since
those people lived.
But every glance of nature around me
captures the essence of the life
they have fulfilled.

Now its my turn to fulfill,
a dream that is now tangible,
which makes all the past I lived forgivable.

I live again now with renewed enthusiasm,
but sometimes still wondering about the lives
of those who once lived!

by, Teja Priyadarshini
Old Poetry - 2008

A Warm Summer's Night! (2004)

2016-12-23T23:36:00.003-05:00

On a warm summer's night

walking down the seashore

hand in hand, lost in our thoughts,

building castle of sand.

I see the love in your eyes.

It shines so bright that I would want nothing more

but to hold you in my arms, tight!

What lovely sight, the moonlight in your eyes!

The twinkling stars in your smile.

Oh, what a warm summer's night!

The two of us as one soul and one love,

with a whole lot of magick around us.

A perfect night when dreams come true,

and love becomes everything that is divine!

The ripples of the sea, gently touching our feet,

invite us into the splendour of the Ocean.

With our passions ignited

we enter the cool blue waters.

Our bodies burning like fire on ice,

bringing us closer on a warm summer's night!

by, Teja Priyadarshini
Old Poetry - 2004

Someday (2005)

2016-12-23T23:33:00.000-05:00

Someday I will be with you,
alone in your arms,
taking me away in a trance,
lost in your embrace.
Skin to skin and heart to heart,
with feelings hard to part.

With clouded eyes I watch you move,
feeding my fire with your steady groove,
Sweet smell of skin, like a rose in the wind,
like in a selfish instant a sinner sinned.

A day when love and passions unfold
to tease the mind of lovers; mould
two hearts as one, and breath life into an unborn sun.
The rays of which form heaven on earth, a moment were we breath as one.

Lost in this moment time flies by.

We shall meet again on a day like this,
near the brook where we first kissed.
We will meet again
were we felt the pain of our eternal bliss.
We shall relive each moment as if it were our last,
each worry in the wind we will cast.
Someday my love! Our love will surely last!

by, Teja Priyadarshini
Old Poetry - 2005

Missing You (2004)

2016-12-23T23:32:00.001-05:00

You fill each day of mine, with sunshine so bright

Like the smell of Jasmine on a warm summer's night.

Your presence makes my world feel alright!

You are my love, my life, without whom I could never be me.

You are my strenght at times when I am weak.

Your laughter fills up my heart with joy,

like a baby playing with his favourite toy!

But it hurts now when I smile, because

my heart still remembers when you were still by my side.

I wish you were here right now,

filling my senses with your love. But now,

I miss you my friend,

with every waking moment of my life!

by, Teja Priyadarshini
Old Poetry - 2004

Happy New Beginning

2016-12-23T23:29:00.000-05:00

(Dedicated to a dear friend I lost. To Mudit, on his birthday, I will always remember you.)

What do I wish for you, old friend, on your birthday?
Do I wish you a happy one or a one that can keep you safe till we meet again?
It is not easy to wish you as you are so far away
Looking down on us all, and smiling to yourself
Wondering, I suppose, if we remember you.
The truth is that, you will always be in our hearts
No matter how far, you will always be remembered
Remembered for the friend you were to many
Remembered for your wit, for your love of knowledge
Remembered for the songs you sang and the laughter you spread
Remembered for the wonderful person you were
Remembered for making this world a better place

So for your birthday, I don't want to be sad
I want to remember you for the friend you were to me
For standing by me, helping me, teaching me
For loving me as only a true friend can.
You are missed every day now,
but I know it is only for a while.
Because death is never the end.
So I wish you a Happy New Beginning, my friend.

By Teja Priyadarshini

What makes the world go around?! (2002)

2016-12-23T23:21:00.001-05:00

We often blink when we think,

What makes the world go around?

Is it money or power or new love found?

Money money money! That's what people say.

But if we look twice, we'll know,

there is more across the bay!

'Nay' people say, 'Its money alright'

But 'No' I say, 'They arent so bright'.

For they do not see the smile on the face of a child,

Nor do they see the magic of nature in all its might!

They often forget for what they shout out 'MONEY'

It is to make their loved ones have a life so sunny.

The bonds of love are more powerful than anything in the world,

but eyes of people, are often very blurred.

For they do not see the happness in the eyes of a mother,

nor the sister's adoration for her brother.

All they see is cold hard paper,

for which they can also be an apper,
in whom greed grows like a creeper.

Now you can see clearly

that people think, barely.

Cause they don't seem to see the difference at all!

So now can you tell me, what use is money?

If they cannot love any?

So I recommend, to love everyone my friend,

and then'll you'll know,

what really makes the World go around!

by, Teja Priyadarshini
Old Poetry - 2nd Aug 2002

Woman

2016-12-08T06:45:00.001-05:00

Who am I? Where am I headed?
A woman, a being so dreaded.
'What do you know?', they say,
all your life, till your old and grey.

It doesn't matter if you are strong
Being a woman, you're always wrong
Everyday we hope to win the battle
But we are mostly looked at as cattle

It's not just men who makes these rules,
some women too, follow them, just like fools
Stand against the tide, to ride and die,
Only to have your wings clipped, from soaring too high.

A woman I am, and would always be
Dreaming a dream of being free
Trying to keep a promise I made to myself
That I would one day conquer the world itself

A promise to stand tall
Even with bruises and all
Wearing my scars with pride
And a smile on my face, with every stride.

No one knows what goes on inside
A woman who is cast aside
So beware her wrath
She is a goddess on a path of war.

By Teja Priyadarshini

Judge me not

2016-07-15T08:27:00.000-04:00

Judge me not

for I am a traveler

I roam around

from hither to thither

Always looking

seldom finding

a kind word

nor a loving gesture

Is it so hard?

Sometimes I wonder

Still, I look

for that closed book.

For the love that

is ours to behold!

Some say that,

we are all just brothers?

If we are

then why the hatred

If we are

then why the blood on your hands

We are all labelled

yet from these labels we can break

So caught up in what is right

we don't see the wrong again

Isn't love supposed to be natural

isn't love supposed to be real

Then why are you fighting me

when I am down on my knees.

Stop now.

Look around.

Do you see a lot of happy faces

or do you a soul less lot?

Judge me not

for I am not in your shoes

And sorry my friend

you are not in mine too

Wars come and wars go

we don't stop fighting though

stuck in a battle within our minds

struggling ,still, to see the light

when will it happen?

when will it stop?

when can we look in each other eyes

and speak of love, not of lies?

When will the hating stop

when will the walls fall?

when will we be free

not to judge anyone at all?

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Happy New Year 2016

2015-12-31T12:34:00.001-05:00

Another day has ended, another year has gone by
The same old story, another try at life.
We make promises, resolutions no less
Yet, as the clock strikes the hour, everyone forgets
This year is the same as the last, as the one before that.
So what's new this year, what do we do instead?

Take a close look at yourself. How far you have come!
Realise that the journey has been a struggle,
Yet you found the strength somehow
You fought your battles, you've won your wars.
You stood tall when you heard your call.

Take a moment for it to sink in
Revel in the moment, but remember that you are not done
Time goes on and so must you
Learning and creating a new version of you, say like a v2.2!
So think hard. There is always a choice.

Choose to live this year, literally come alive!

Find joy in all you do, and let excitement follow you
Have an adventure, or go on a trip
Do something but never sit still.
There is so much to see and so much feel

So why stop there, have your fill.
Time will pass you by when you are not looking
But don't let it stop you from having a new year that's full of thrill!

To Teachers Everywhere

2015-09-19T03:20:00.001-04:00

With blackboards and chalk pieces,
Art books and drawing sheets,
rulers and geometry sets,
and notebooks, don't forget.
The smell of ink, and first cursive writing
Oh! The feeling, so exciting.
With text books and labels,
with stories and fabels,
you taught us to cross roads,
and today we cross nations and more!

Armed with History, Physics and Chemistry,
we have tried to slove most of worlds mysteries.
Biology and Zoology have shown us where we are from,
but only the future will show us what we've become.
Even though Mathematics flew over my head
English literature saved me from its dread.
We have been to Colleges and Universities,
and it has taught us about human diversities.
Philosophy has always been a friend.
And lets not forget Psychology in the end.

No matter what, we could not have done it without you
You guided us, picked us up, and put us on the best path you knew.
You moulded us like clay,
into the person we are today.
For this we are ever so grateful.
For this we are ever so joyful.
Being a teacher is not easy,
and teaching us couldn't have been breezy.
Yet you stood strong,
and told us right from wrong.
Sometimes you taught in classrooms,
and other times at home.
Wherever possible a lesson was taught,
so we may grow to have a big brave heart.
For this and more I will always cherish you.
My teacher, my guide, I am what I am, because I learnt from you.

Happy Teacher's Day to each and every teacher, professional or parent, uncle or aunt, friend or foe, who taught us valuable life lessons.

Wait What Weight?

2015-01-18T16:31:00.000-05:00

"Squeeze that ab...6,7,8,9, one more...uuughhhh 10! Phew!! That's it. I can't do it anymore".

How much do you weigh? When are you going to start taking care of all that weight? Don't you want to look good? If you don't become thin no one is ever going to marry you. Don't be lazy, get off your ass and workout.

How many of us have been there and heard that?

I am guessing we have heard these comments and others much worse. Weight is such a big problem and root cause of unhappiness. Why does everyone focus of how good one must look and not on how healthy one must be? We feel that if we are a certain weight then we will be happy. Is that true?
Do you think being your ideal weight you will be happy? Do you think that people who are not are unhappy?

Being a certain weight and then waiting for happiness is such a horrible concept that just ruins everybody's life. The world is focusing on all the wrong stuff when it comes to weight. Hoping, craving, getting depressed, starving, getting sick, and all this for what?

If only I was *insert ideal weight* then I would be happier. People will respect me, love me.

Isn't this such a sad thing to feel? And who is to blame for a world of unhappiness? It's us. It's people like you and me. It's your closest friends and family. It's the way the world is talks about weight and being skinny. I for one am exhausted at this never ending sadness the world and its people are putting inside of them. Children are becoming anorexic and bulimic, and for what??? To fit into a dress that says size 0? Some jackass started some fad somewhere about being skinny and that's gone viral. It is more like a virus. A viral infection.

How many of us can look into the mirror and really appreciate themselves for they are? Oh no...don't look at that blemish, or that muffin top. Why not! Why not love each and every imperfection in us that makes us so perfect. Each one of us is beautiful just the way we are. Imagine a world where everyone looks the same. The same make up. The same fashion sense. How boring would that be?

I feel that our body image has everything to do with how we think of ourselves. 'Body-esteem' I like to call it, is extremely low in each of us. And now we are infecting our children with body-esteem issues.When are we going to realize that our bodies are magical beings, and our minds their controllers? Please don't think that I am telling you not to take care of your health. That is the most important thing. Aim to be fit not thin. The focus is all wrong. I for one have battled weight issues all my life. And one thing that I realized is that as long as I am happy, my body also reacts to the change and is more radiant, and the extra weight also seems to drop off.

So what do we do?

Erase all negative thoughts from your mind. Easier said than done, this one. But let me tell you something. A happier mind is a happier body and a happier life. And who wouldn't want that? We spend so much money on so many different things like cosmetics and weight loss solutions that we forget to use the most powerful tool of them all. The Mind!

Here are a few suggestions to turn your body-esteem issues into body loving and happier living.

1) Just Be. Sit quietly for a few minutes in a place you feel calm and peaceful. It could be your bed, in front of a lake or a water body, a garden or a park, or anywhere where you are not disturbed by everything going on in your life, Now just listen. Yes, listen. Listen to your breathing, listen to the sounds all around you, try listening to the beat of your heart. Allow thoughts to come in. I am sure many of you may think, what am I doing? I feel like such an idiot just sitting here all by myself. That is okay. Just be.

2) Focus. Focus on your thoughts and your feelings. Listen to what they are telling you. Try not to hold on to them, listen and let it go. In the beginning it is a little difficult not to get caught up on your thoughts. If it helps, close your eyes. Now focus on your feelings. What do you feel? Do you feel the breeze caressing your face? The softness of the grass beneath your feet? Do you feel the calm spreading over your body? Can you feel the excitement in your soul? Focus on what you feel. Any emotion that comes into your mind. Feel it.

3) Be a child. Think of how it would be if you were a child again. Would you feel carefree? How would you feel? Children are the greatest teachers one can have. Look at them play, look at them laugh, look at them cry. What do you see? They do it with all their little heart. That is the key to being happy. They don't focus on how fat they are or how sad they feel or what their future holds. Imagine if you were a child once again. What would you do differently? Would you laugh whole heartedly? Would you play more? Act silly? Dance? Twirl? Get down and dirty? Does this excite you?

4) Make a list. A list of things that inspire you, people that inspire you. Make a list of things you always wanted to do and have not had the time to do. It could be anything, like sleeping the whole day to going on a trip. Sometimes we forget who we really are. We forget that we are magical beings. We are not machines, and we need to do things that makes us happy, that excite us. Try doing only those things that excite you everyday, and look at your life change.

5) Get creative. Paint, dance, sing as loud as you can. Don't worry if you are good at it or not. Do you think a child cares if his/her little drawing is a master piece? Don't worry about who is looking, or who is judging you. Understand that those who do are lost in the mundane world of societal rules. They may laugh at you and call you crazy for doing what you are doing. But don't let that stop you. Shaking your body loose will not only relax your body, but does something to your mind that makes you smile.

6) Laugh a lot. Laughing releases stress from your mind, and is sooooo contagious. Watch funny movies or videos that make you laugh like crazy. Laughing makes you feel so good inside. It makes the world look good again. I can't stress enough how much laughter helps. Get goofy and play pranks with your friends or your loved ones and just laugh. It also helps you sleep better, mind gets clearer, and it has unbelievable effects on your health.

7) Be kind. First of all be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Take only the good stuff from all your experiences. Try not to be so stern with yourself. Then be kind to strangers. How many of us pass a stranger on the road struggling with something, and we just keep walking. Why not stop and give them a hand? Maybe they are having a bad day, and your kind gesture may life their spirit. Pay a compliment to someone, spread a few smiles, help an elderly person cross the road, offer to help your neighbor or friend if they need it. We are becoming such mechanical people, that technology is what runs our lives now. Our world is in dire need of love and kindness. A small gesture of kindness will make you feel so good.

8) Be grateful. Thank the Universe/God/Earth for what you have. We forget to thank the Source for all the good things in our lives because we tend to focus on the negative. But each day be thank for the love you have in your life, from your kids, your parents, your friends, your spouse, your pet, or anything that makes you happy. Be grateful for the roof over your head, the food that you eat, the bed that you sleep on. Be grateful for your body, your legs, your hands, your brain, your skills, yourself. Being grateful is a powerful tool. The more grateful you are the more positive your life will be. I have seen this happen in my life.

9) Visualize. You want that perfect body, so what do you do? Visualize! Imagine the way you want to look. Write it down, every detail. Visualize you have beautiful healthy hair, radiant complexion, healthy teeth, a fit and healthy body, and a perfectly well oiled inside. Now if you can, record it. Make sure you say, 'I have' instead of 'I am going to have' or 'I will have'. Listen to this recording whenever you can. Put on your headphones and listen to it even while you do your regular work. Believe what you hear, feel it with every fiber in your body. Feel as if you are what you say you are in your recording. Do this everyday. Look at yourself in the mirror and visualize yourself they way you want to be. Try not to focus on the negative images that you get in your mind. Within a month of believing in your visualization, you will see results.

10) Eat healthy. Diets don't work. Trust me, I have tried so many of them. But the important thing is to know what is going into your body. Read your labels, if possible avoid buying packaged food, refine sugars or artificial sweeteners, or processed products. Fizzy drinks that erode the enamel of your teeth could be doing much worse in your tummy. The new you doesn't need artificial things, it needs nutrients. Try to avoid carcinogenic foods, fast foods, and foods that come out of packets. I know you must have heard millions of people say this. But remember our goal is to make ourselves healthy. Try healthier options of everything. You know fried food is not good. If you cannot avoid it, eat smaller portions. By satiating your taste buds, you don't deprive yourself of them.

11) Stay Active. Shake your body, go for a long walk at what ever pace you want to go on, go hiking, or camping, play a sport, go to a mall and window shop, exercise, dance like crazy, play with your kids or your pets. Play...that is the secret. When we play we do not realize how time flies. And we do not feel like we are exercising. Its a small trick that not only makes you happy, but also helps you lose extra weight. Happier people are more active, and hence have better health. Remember be like a child. So lets play!

12) Be yourself. What is it that you feel like being today? Be that today. Do what ever makes you smile, and be happy. When you are yourself, you feel free, and your spirit soars. You will also begin to love yourself. Don't beat yourself up with whatever happened in the past, and do not worry about the future. Just be. Make a choice to let go of your negative past, and choose to redefine yourself. You are not what you are 5 mins ago. Try living in the now, feel each and every emotion, live in the moment. You can choose to be whoever you want to be. So why not choose to be a happier person, and not wait for someone or something to make you happier.

Wait, what about the weight? Well, being happy and loving the way you are will help you lose those extra pounds. A happy mind that doesn't judge its body for the way it is, and that doesn't let anyone else dictate how its body should look, will automatically programme itself into looking for ways to keep you healthy and happy. It's all about being in love with yourself. And this is how I feel you can fall in love with yourself, all over again.

Happy falling in Love!

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Time

2014-03-28T08:51:00.001-04:00

When was the last time...

you lay on the grass

felt the sun on your face

knelt down in prayer

laughed like a child

played a little game

shed a few tears

loved with your soul

made paper boats

danced in the rain

believed that everything will be ok?

What will you do...

if time passes you by

when all love is lost

and the clock has ticked out?

will you find yourself alone,

is death all you mourn.

what will you do,

when the birds don't sing

when the rivers run dry

and when everything around you dies?

Who will you hold when your breath feels cold?

What would you do...

if you had another chance

to love and to dance.

Will you fill your life with light

and stay out of a fight

will you dance late into the night,

or give into the fright?

will you laugh till your sides hurt

and roll around in the dirt

will you remember to smell the flowers

and not stay behind bars?

Time is such a fleeting thing,

one moment here, gone in a sting

beg as you much as you can

not a second will throw back its hand

Moments lost are forever gone

remembered non the less, on and on

regret and grief is all that if left

its a grand design, its a grand theft.

so here are my two cents

and I hope this makes sense,

live your life, every second of every minute,

till you feel, 'aah! At last, I have done it'.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Dream come true

2013-02-20T13:49:00.000-05:00

I gave up all hope. I knew all was lost. A shift in the wind, a gentle caress of the breeze, felt magikal. But yet I had given up. I lost all hope of finding love again. A romantic movie, a couple walking on the road; all this looked like a distant dream. A dream that I had, and lost. A dream I thought I will never find.

An evening came by on a cool January day. I was exhausted and just wanted to go home from work and sleep. Just then I get a call from my mother saying that she wanted me to meet someone. I thought, oh one more person to the long list of 'potentials'. You see, after I had given up on love, my parents wanted to prove to me that love can happen again. And I saw this glimmer of hope evaporate into thin air, each time I met a 'prospect'. I mean, how many people find real love by meeting random people from some site?

Apparently it does happen. And that's how it happened. A total stranger walked into my life that evening. I wanted to get this over with. Too tired to converse, I plastered a smile on my face. But soon that fake smile became real. I laughed, I fought, I argued, and I began to feel a stirring in my heart. I dismissed the thought as one of those passing moments when everything felt like a possibility.

I sat there in the coffee shop, glad that the person I met also loves coffee as much as I do. It was an easy conversation that lasted a few hours. It was the longest conversation with a so called 'prospect'. But then I let it be, I went with the flow.

The next day, I got up feeling negative about the whole thing. This was one of my defense mechanism that told me to shun away anyone who could remotely be interested in me. Why? Well, I am 30 yrs old and I have a comfortable life, my own friends circle I was very comfortable with and I didn't want my world turned upside down!

I almost forgot about the meeting till I get a call from him. He likes me! Well my mom will be relieved, was the first thought that went into my head. But wait. Was I ready for this? My system started panicking. Did I really want to be with someone? Let someone in? Into a life that I was so comfortable with? Well someone once said that life starts when you move out of your comfort zone. Did I want to move out of my comfort zone? I had no idea.

So I started with the scare-him-off-till-he-runs-a-mile theory. I called him up and told him why he shouldn't be with me. How Xcentric I am, and how life with me would be difficult. But I guess when a man makes up his mind, there is little that can perturb him. I played all my cards and I was left with nothing. Then I started listening. And I realized that this man was here for me.

I have been searching for him all my life, and he was finally here. A man who understood me, understood my eccentricities. A man who would stand by me, through my ups and downs. A man who will love me no matter what or who I was, or will be. A man who would be my strength and my support. My heart began to feel again. It started with a lot of excitement. My heart beat a little faster. Could it be? A dream that I thought I lost was right here in front of me, offering me his hand to hold?

The feelings began to grow in me. A little by little. Taking over my world, making it his.And then this world began to change as well, it turned into our world. And today I know, love can happen, not once, but more than that. Love never stops happening. If you open your heart, it will pour in.

Love is there in every corner, waiting to seep through your veins and into your heart. Dreams do come true. I believed in mine, do you believe in yours?

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Puppets

2012-12-03T12:21:00.004-05:00

All are but puppets in this world

Strung up and ready to roll

walking talking and playing along

To the divine makers gong

We do not wait nor watch

Or understand the plot

Living like this as long as we can

Till death hits us with a pan

Pretending all the time

Like actors in some mime

Not knowing when the scene will end

Laughing we go along every bend

But when the lights go out

In our minds there's a doubt

Are we living a life

Or are we living a lie

Questions we don't seek answers to

What are we here to prove?

Divine string dancers are we

One day we will finally see.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Peace

2012-11-20T06:29:00.001-05:00

Vast stretches of land

calm and peaceful and serene

I am standing here now

Am I lost or found or just being?

Thoughts come and thoughts go

Memories. Are they from today, tomorrow or years gone by?

The whistle of the wind as it touches the grass

The crackling of a stream as it passed

Is it just a spell or am I in heaven?

Peace invades my heart; I'm even

Flooding everything out of my self

Love, laughter or quite

Whatever it is, I need to find.

Music in the way the wind moves

Making the waves dance

the soft sun light in my eyes

Golden heaven in my sight

The gentle caress of the breeze

the cackling of flying geeze

The last warm touch of the setting light

I know everything is going to be alright.

If bliss is here in this very moment

then why I go through such torment?

The smell of grass

the feel of wood

with all my senses alive

I am ready to fly.

If this is peace

Can I have it all my life?

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Sweet Nothing

2012-11-16T01:51:00.002-05:00

Whisper softly into my ear

Love is but heartbeat away

Warm breath, anticipation

My life flashes in your eyes

clear, like a crystal

I would never leave your side

The horrors of the past

the love that's lost

Our bond is strong

Death will come

and death will go

But we will always be

The promises made

The hours spent

remembering the sweet nothings

This is not the end

we will meet

when the sun shines again

One last look

One last caress

A new promise made

A day will come
When we will
whisper sweet nothings again

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Little Me

2012-09-18T13:55:00.002-04:00

Do you look at the other person next to you and go, ' I wish I had a life like that. Travel the world, make friends, become rich without doing much..' Well I am a person who does that. And I think to myself why? What is wrong with my life? I have a good job...errr...an ok job. Well at least it helps pay the bills! My inner goddess wakes up and tilts her head, with a raised eyebrow and looks at me hard. Okay fine I need a better paying job. But I have great friends?!

Again, my inner goddess looks at me and then acts as if she is not interested. Well, I have a few good friends, but what is wrong with that? At least I know I have friends and I can make a lot more. But I still compare my life to the ones whose lives look much more interesting. I figure, hey at least they don't go to sleep wondering what to do with their lives?

Maybe they do and maybe they don't. But if a life that can give you a great body, an intelligent mind, and that makes you rich and famous with doing so little, its definitely a life that I would envy. My eyes go green and my skin feels icky. Why do I react to others like this? Would I feel as much as a prick if I saw someone whose life isn't that great? Someone whose social skills are lower than mine, has no interest in life what so ever and lives with their cat? I don't think I would even stop for a moment and think, Wait! My life is definitely better than that! Oh no sireee. I would not do that.

I have to feel miserable all my life, and when good things do happen, I will crib about the things I don't have. That is the circle of life. My life. Not a rectangle, not a square, not triangle, but a circle. Just like me. I am circle in a lot of ways. Take for example the way I look. Circle. I know you are shaking your head, and telling me that I can rectify that part of my life and maybe work my way to an hourglass figure? What do you want me to do? Pull a string tightly around my circle? Not a pleasant idea. My conscience just woke up and reminds me of all those times I promised her that I will workout, and how I even bought dumbbells! Yeh...well they are still around somewhere.

What about the fact that I am very creative and can be the best in any creative field I apply my mind to? Yes. That's it! My mind. I keep losing it every now and again. Its so difficult to find it and let it stick around for a while. But who gives a damn about a damsel and her brain?

Most men think that beauty is what they look at, not what it can offer. I like to think I have just forgotten how to play the game. It soothes my ego to think this way. Next time I see a man who is worth my attention I will just go up to him and say, hey...if I met you like a few years/months/weeks/ hours/minutes/seconds ago, I would have actually been interested in you. But now I have been robbed. And the thief took my game. Hey wait, did I just come up with the best pick up line? Err...maybe not.

Moving on.

Have you ever looked at another person and thought, 'wow, how do they have hair like that? Or a body like that? Or whatever like that? I do this a lot. And let me tell you, it gets me no where. I feel miserable and stare at my hair in the mirror, wondering why me? till the mirror cracks (or till I throw something at it). Why do we do this to ourselves?

I guess feeling miserable is what we do best. Its our inborn quality, like how the apes climb trees, the fish swim, the birds fly; we love to feel miserable. No one tells us earlier on in lives, that we can actually have anything we want, be who ever we want to be. But for that we need to work hard. Hey, hard work didn't kill anyone, but I am no risk taker. So I will go back to being my miserable self.

But if you have something to say, there is a rectangle box (not a circle) below this post where you can leave your comments. Please feel free to write what ever comes to your mind. What will I do? Well...I am just going to go back to my life now and feel jealous or miserable about things that don't even make sense!

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Paradoxical Soul

2012-08-28T07:08:00.001-04:00

Windy Windows

Warm Mornings

Cold Blankets

Love soaked Soul

Misty Eyes

Dreamy Insights

Thoughtful Moments

Lazy restful Soul

Magical Feelings

Glowing Dark

Flowing Steadiness

Pensive playful Soul

Earthly Attachments

Fiery Disposition

Airy Emotions

Water Tight Soul

Blue Walls

Red Dots

Yellow Music

Color fest in the Soul.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

DEATH STAR

2012-08-16T09:52:00.002-04:00

Death Star

Was all I saw,

Last breath

Last second.

Waiting for Eternity

Passing on

Light filled path

Fear over comes all

But wait

Is that how it should be?

Shouldn't Love take over

Response is slow

Heart beat, stings

Pain felt

Needle prick at first

Stronger it gets

Tears are salty

when they fall

Swollen eyes

Red from hurt

Soul shines

Happiness everywhere

Lurking in shadows

Black death stares

When all is over

what is left?

Life reborn

A memory gone.

Death Star

we all are

Rare as it gets

Our soul we bare.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Lost in Time

2012-08-10T09:40:00.001-04:00

Misty mountains, take you back,

to a place, you held close to your heart.

Cool breeze, reminds you of those warm nights

stitched into time, with a tread so fine.

Heart aches, to go back in time.

To do things, we didn't believe in.

Looking for a chance, to rebuild a moment.

Searching for something, and finding nothing.

Warm smell of wood, eyes tear up

Shawl pulled around, but soul bared.

Memories come, memories go

Thinking of wishes made on a shooting star.

Echos of the past, a tug at the heart

Shadows creeping out of the corners of the mind

A sound heard, a voice forgotten.

Faces seen; a person you have never been.

Soul searches, and finds

itself, lost in time.

Lost in time, Lost in time, Lost in Time.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

CHANGES

2012-08-02T05:35:00.000-04:00

Look around you? What do you see? Have you seen your self dress this way maybe a few months ago? Have you seen the new tree that is slowly growing outside your house? Have you seen that new building across the road? What does this tell you?

Everything changes. Nothing remains the same for too long. We change and so does everything around us. We may feel these changes sometime, and sometimes they happen without us noticing them. As humans we incorporate change on a daily basis. Habits change, behavior changes, clothes, houses, relationships, people, nature, everything changes. Everything around us and inside us tells us that the only thing constant is change.

Then why are we so afraid of it? Why do we get so comfortable with something when we know for sure it changes? Aren't we supposed to get comfortable with change itself? Why do we alter our reality to such an extent that we blind ourselves to the only constant thing - Change?

Well, I feel we do this so that we can live a life that does not hurt us too much. We place our expectations in the hands of others or things. This is the first mistake we make. All of us want to lead a happy life. Then why do we make our own life so difficult? Confusing? Let me explain with an example.

We fall in love with a wonderful person, a person who is constantly changing and becoming what they want to be. When we are in love, we take a perfect picture of this person, who was perfect at the moment your heart decided to be in love. We then take this picture and hold it as a comparison to all the other moments that come into this relationship. What happens then? The moments that come, may or may not compare to the perfect picture we took at the perfect moment when we fell in love.

This makes us feel the following moments are somehow very inconsistent. This makes us feel sad, irritable, crestfallen, disappointed, etc. But what if we do not have a perfect picture? That is to say, what if we do not have expectations? Living each moment is easier than living in a world where we are scared of what might happen next.

Fear is the root cause of making our lives miserable. When we expect certain things to the same always, we conform ourselves to a life long prison of fear, disappointment, sadness, and a whole lot of ugly emotions. This does not let us smile from the heart, does not let us skip on the streets, does not let us notice the immense beauty that is there within us and as well as around us. What use is life, when we cannot see the beauty with which we are created? We need to realize that we are perfect, even though we change a lot.

These changes are made with the choices we make. If we choose to be happy, no matter what happens in our lives, we will search and find only those moments that make us happy. In short, we can be what we want. We only need to make the right choices to see the right changes that will make our life perfect.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

Nothingness.

2012-02-26T22:29:00.000-05:00

There are so many things I want to write about. But sometimes I don't find the words to write about what I feel. Sometimes I wonder if I do feel. No, its not a negative thing. And its not depression. Its just a phase of
Nothingness.

Its a phase when you think of the most irrelevant things like, why is the bald guy actually bald or how can I walk through a wall, or is there a place on earth where one can float, etc. Sometimes they don't make any sense at all. Sometimes it like the only place in your mind you want to be in.

I have heard that men have this place more than women do. They are capable of not thinking. They can just sit and stare into oblivion and not have a single thought in their minds. I wonder why women cannot do this. Is it because we are more intelligent and hence have more thoughts? Or is it because Men have lesser things to worry about? I may not be right to make such assumptions. But I am entitled to my opinion, ain't I?

Taking about opinions, everybody's got one. I mean your folk's have got one, your friends, your co-workers, your boss, even your maid seems to have one. The funny part is that, the opinions are all about you. How you should do this and that. Its never about themselves. Its always about you. You see, people feel a great need to express themselves through opinions. Not that they wont do the exact same thing that they are giving you an opinion about. But they, for a brief moment, forget their mundane existence and feel like they have to tell you how wrong you are, so that they can feel better about themselves. And worst of all since opinions don't cost at all, they give them to you in abundance.

Speaking of costs, have you seen how everything has changed, because a bunch of people who were meant to take care of the world's economy, realized that they were not good at it? I mean even companies that make a lot of money (enough to run the world) behave like they are poppers. I mean its not their fault. Mankind was built in a way that says, if you have something which everybody needs, keep it hidden. Sharing is unheard of. Ok well. We do share, but its because if we don't then when we need something we may not get it later on. So you see its all nothing but a game. A game of deceit.

Anyway, the sense of hiding gives me a lot to think about. All of us have something we want to hide from the world. Ok, so not all of us are psychopaths. But we all hide from ourselves most of the time. We want to have secrets we can dwell on in the recesses of our minds. Its natural. We do not understand a lot of things about our existence or of who we really are. Hence a secret can be very enticing, it almost makes our mundane life very interesting in our heads.

But when we really look at all of this, its nothing. Its not important. Its not life changing. Its not going to make your day any better. Because its Nothingness. We all live in it, we breath in it, we die in it. There is so much more of Everything that we cannot see, feel or even sense. We never get there. We cannot get there. We want to get there, but we always find an excuse. Nothingness is all consuming. Nothingness is always more tempting. Nothingness is what it is. And to Nothingness we return.

by, Teja Priyadarshini

END OF THE WORLD! REALLY??

2012-01-29T10:13:00.001-05:00

Its been a long time since I have put my thoughts down. There have been many magical moments the last year, and this year too has started off on a good note. The lessons I have learnt are many. I am sure all of you have also been through many ups and downs last year, and started this year with a hope that it will be better than the last.

But as soon as this year started I have been listening to people talking about the "end of the world" this year. Nostradamus has made predictions which give these assumptions life. The more we think about the end of the world I think we are bringing it closer.

The predictions are many. They say the Mayan's calender ends in 2012 because they predict the world will end. Nostradamus, a french prophet, predicts the end of the world in 2012. Included among 2012 predictions is the belief that there is a 12th planet in our solar system whose orbital path comes close to earth every 30 million or so years. If it doesn't hit us they say, the gravitational pull of this planet will cause massive destruction on earth that we will not recover from. They say that because of this, 2012 will be the end of the world.

There are other predictions like the Armageddon. The Armageddon is the prediction of an ultimate war between good and evil that the Bible speaks of. It is a war that God himself will step in and end. Even those who do not believe in the Bible believe that the way the world is going, we are headed for a final conflict that will bring an end to most of not all civilization.

Apocalypse is different to Armageddon. It is the English version of the Greek word apokalupsis. Apokalupsis is translated as "revelation" in the book of Revelation in the Bible. It means "lifting of the veil". However, the word Apocalypse has historically taken on the meaning of "the terrible judgements foretold to happen at the end of Man's rule on Earth" which are described in that book.

Thus, "The Apocalypse" is another term for the book of Revelation, as well as the series of events described in the book of Revelation. Apocalypse is also a technical term for a certain type of biblical prophecy. An apocalyptic passage in the Bible is viewed as a prophecy describing events that will surely come to pass, and thus cannot be affected by the choices made by men. One of those events is the battle of Armageddon.

NASA regularly monitor solar (sun) activity and can even predict general cycles showing when the most likely time will be for larger flares. In a general way, these predictions are reasonable reliable. But do their predictions include an extra big flare on December 21, 2012? With what certainty can NASA tell us that a solar flare will bring the end of the world in 2012?

It is claimed that on December 21, 2012 there will be some form of mystical astronomical alignment with the center of our galaxy. One version of this theory says that the alignment occurs when the sun rises above the horizon on December 21st 2012 (the winter solstice) at which point the sun will rise in the middle of the milky way, thus causing an alignment between the earth sun and the galactic center.

While astronomy programmes appear to verify this, there are however some serious problems with building a case for the end of the world in 2012.

Some believe that humanity was genetically "seeded" by a superior alien race. They believe that in 2012 this race are going to come back and do a number of things such as rescue us from self destruction, bring us enlightenment and so on... There are also some who believe that they will simply help us destroy ourselves.

Some time ago, a number of people committed suicide as a comet was passing by earth because they believed an alien space craft was hidden behind the comet and the way to be transported on to it and transformed into a new form of existence was to take their lives at that time. It was a tragedy.

What do you think? Do you think that any of these will really happen? I hope not. Because I have plans for my future and I would hate to see it ruined.

by, Teja Priyadarshini