For Monks Only (RMC's writing)

Buy My Poems about the Mayan Calendar Below | the Cholq'ij | Sacred | Chiaia

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 20:24:00 +0000

You can buy the Sacred Calendar (and my other books) from Amazon or for a little bit cheaper directly through me using the button below.

If you simply want to have your Mayan Daysign Reading, please visit my Cholq'ij Mayan Daysign Reading Blog

I Am Always Apologizing Recently

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 14:13:00 +0000

Sorry, honey
Sorry, ten guys beating me
Sorry, police who made me sit in my own urine
Sorry guy who bought my bar and got a criminal charge brought against me by driving a kid who ripped the tendons in his ankle by kicking me in the ribs to the hospital
Sorry foreclosed landlady for giving you money to repay the loan you defaulted on
Sorry to make you sue me for 3,000 when you owe over 300,000
Sorry loanshark, Sang Il, who is suing my landlady
Sorry that my landlady didn't take the rent money I paid for three years and use it to repay the original bank loan
Sorry new owner that you have to kick us out
Sorry Israel for supporting Palestinians trying not to be refugees and repeatedly mocking your dumb rhetoric
Sorry Mayan Indians, Triqui Insians, and all others who have been displaced
In Korea you see old women carrying babies on back (but they'll never forgive the Japanese or Americans)
But in the refugee camps in Chiapas you see babies on the backs of young girls cause siblings care for siblings after their parents and grandparents are gone
Sorry bitchy woman in restaurant for being too loud playing with my son
Sorry sorry sorry for all of it
You're right, honey, it's all my fault

The Sacred Mayan Calendar | My New Book | Assault | Arrest | Subsequent Dismissal |

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 15:12:00 +0000

Click the Calendar Round to Learn More

Well, it has certainly been an interesting month or two since my last post on this blog. Business-wise, I sold my bar. My pool game landed me at 2006 in the Itaewon Pool League, firmly in the top 20 all time (as high as 15th in some calibrations--it fluctuates like real life). In personal news, I was arrested for assault in a weird twist of fate.

Book Available on Amazon

In book news, the Sacred Calendar is now out at amazon as both a paperback and as a kindle book. It's also available at Barnes & Noble, Kobo, iBooks, Sony Bookstore, and more. You can also buy it directly from me as both a paperback and an eBook (provided in MOBI or EPUB or PDF formats). I'm charging $1 for e-copies and $5 for paperbacks. The other people are all charging different amounts. One crazy vendor was charging $1,899.99 at some point. By email the owner told me, "it was a mistake."

I'm currently homeless. Don't think walking the streets alone begging for bread. Think staying at a beach in Thailand with lots of palm trees eating dragonfruit while teaching Damani how to swim. See ralphadelic @ instagram from photos.I have no job and I wiggled free of a very oppressive (yet really fun) lifestyle in Korea. All the drinking and partying was great. All the gossip, hangovers, and psychopaths got old. Yes, a book on that will be coming out shortly. The Working Title is Cutting a Lime with Steel Chopsticks: a Pamphlet for Expat Dummies on How to Start a Business as a Foreigner in Seoul, South Korea written by an American Ding-Song. I'm hoping it will be as funny as the whole process was in real life. Some of the catch-22s thrown at me and my partner Andy (who will be called Dandy or Candy or Mandy in this book as the names are very well disguised cause I don't want any libel) were totally ridiculous and would require you to be in three places in the universe at the same time while traveling in time. But such is bureaucracy and the truth is that the process was a lot of fun and taught me to finally be a man (though many would still call me an immature bald cocksucker), made me dig in stand firmly on my own feet against a sometimes hostile host country, got me hundreds of new friends, many new girlfriends (which was quite counterproductive for the most part), and saw me start family life under probably the worst circumstances apart from being dead.

The Mayan Sign Q'anil from the Sacred Calendar

Four Gifts the Maya Gave You

Still Going . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 05 May 2014 02:24:00 +0000

Funny Prices

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 02:54:00 +0000

https://twitter.com/rmchiaia/status/449500157160087552

$1,800.00 for one copy of Glyphic. That seems about right. What a masterpiece!! One day the rest of the world will realize.

Happy Dali Krab Day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 06:27:00 +0000

courtesy of dalikrabday.blogspot.com

Self-cleaning Potty

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 07 Mar 2014 04:55:00 +0000

Here's a cool gif of Damani, my son, cleaning his own potty. In the beginning he enjoyed cleaning it. Now he tries to shirk this responsibility.

I really didn't expect raising kids would be this much fun. I thought I'd be smacking him away with one hand while trying to write with the other (which does sometimes occur).

Ralph-Michael Chiaia: What is it?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 02 Dec 2013 05:37:00 +0000

Ralph-Michael Chiaia: What is it?: What book rhymes with terrific and specific? with transpacific, scientific, cryptic, and artistic?

As Kurtis Blow says, "these are the breaks"

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:16:00 +0000

A reviewer gave Jean-Paul Sartre and I both 1 star but, don't fret, Life of Pi (that's a movie, you know) got 4 stars and Twilight got 5. I feel pure bliss about being with the right company.

This post is just poking fun at how different our tastes can be. Don't be offended, it's just art!

Luckily, I write just for fun and to grow my soul. I already knew that what I write doesn't belong to any genre and it is going to be ultimately a small and ever-shrinking group of people who like what I do. As Vonnegut would say, so it goes.

Glyphic -- Latin American Ooga Booga in a Novella in Verse

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 06 Nov 2013 17:00:00 +0000

Buy yourself a copy and read this book of poems, news clippings, emails, dictionary entries, and more. It's an experimental hodgepodge of forms riddled with Latin American ooga booga written to the metronome of the shaman of Guatemala and Chiapas.

I'm still looking for reviews, so if you're willing to write one then drop me a line and I'll send you a free copy for you to read.

You can buy a copy at Amazon.com or get a signed copy directly from me.

Two Weeks and Counting

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 08:49:00 +0000

In two weeks, my novella in verse Glyphic will be out at amazon.com. You can pre-order today.

The book is filled with travelogue, curanderos, sexy chicas, men with pipes, guns, and guitars, news clippings, emails between a Mayanist and his adventurous brother, a K'iche'-Spanish-English dictionary, and lyrical yet fragmented poems that interweave into one story.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 08:33:00 +0000

The Sacred Calendar
book of 20 poems by Ralph-Michael Chiaia
followed by information about the Tzolkin

The Sacred Calendar has been downloaded hundreds of times and people continue to give me interesting praise, comments, and inquiries after reading. In the back of the book are resources so you can see your own sign and learn a little bit more about yourself and about the Sacred Calendar.

Library Thing (another cool reading resource)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 00:23:00 +0000

More Resources for Book Reviews and such:

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 04:35:00 +0000

They are as follows (Name/Link):

The Indie Reader
http://indiereader.com/category/indiereader-library/
San Francisco Book Review
http://sanfranciscobookreview.com/submission-guidelines/general-submission/
Rain Taxi
http://www.raintaxi.com/submissionguidelines.shtml#booksubmissions
MidWest Book Review
http://www.midwestbookreview.com/get_rev.htm
Book List
http://www.booklistonline.com/default.aspx?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 03:19:00 +0000

The Sacred Calendar is available in these formats:

Kindle
iBook
Nook
Kobo
PDF
RTF
And More

All formats possible from Smashwords (it takes a minute to sign up for an account, if you don't already have one)

I think that e-publishing is going to be the wave of the future, and I'm really happy that Smashwords exists and makes it possible to get work out there in all these various formats.

The Sacred Calendar is still in queue with MJH who is planning to publish it in print (paperback) with some artwork as part of a small gallery project. Hopefully that happens some time this year.

Glyphic coming out soon, the Sacred Calendar will be out too

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 08:18:00 +0000

Glyphic will be coming out in November.

The Sacred Calendar will be available as an eBook any day now.

The Sacred Calendar now out (eBook)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 29 May 2013 09:19:00 +0000

The Sacred Calendar is available in these formats:

Kindle
iBook
Nook
Kobo
PDF
RTF
And More

Cover of Ten Poems about East Asia and Kitsch Nebula Ampersands And by Ralph-Michael Chiaia

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 03 May 2013 18:56:00 +0000

Everything is about Monks these days on this blog

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 02 May 2013 04:46:00 +0000

Have you ever tried Google Alerts? I have it set up right now for MONKS and I'm getting all kinds of cool stuff about Buddhists in Myanmar writing 969 on their shops so that they shop at other Buddhist-owned shops and drive down the business of their Muslim rivals, about Buddhists making mandalas in front of schoolkids in Australia -- spending painstaking hours making them -- only to have them blow away in the wind, and about Sophie Monk who I am assuming is a famous actress (but you may know I watch about 5 movies a year and actually go out to the theater less than once a year).

For Sophie Monk Only

Check out For Monks Only

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 05:51:00 +0000

facebook

Check out For Monks Only

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Sign up for a Facebook account if you want to like For Monks Only and connect with other friends. Or you can simply view the Page.

For Monks Only

For Monks Only is a short novella by Ralph-Michael Chiaia. It is currently for sale at Amazon Kindle and will be published in early July (with other short stories) as a Smashwords Edition.
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Sample of For Monks Only (courtesy of Kindle)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 20:18:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 06:29:00 +0000

Check out my new website: rmchiaia.com

New Title Out and Old Title's Price Drops

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 06:25:00 +0000

"For Monks Only" my long short story (or short novella) is now out at For Monks Only (Kindle eBook). This is a spiraling narrative in which a young man travels to meet his girlfriend who is suffering from bouts of smuttiness and then tells her fragmented tales of a young man travelling. He faces the reality that his life has become a monotonous rut and must decide what his next step is while in an airport in Bangkok.

In a synchronized move, the price of my first book of poems has been reduced dramatically. If you haven't already downloaded it to your Kindle, please do so now by clicking here.

My Author Page at Amazon

Muchas Muchachas (written for Dali Krab Day)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:11:00 +0000

Habian muchas muchachas

Krab Last Day by Jon Berbank

en el zocalo

they were teachers from the Triqui Zone
where there's coffee and weed
where corporations want that land
this is Oaxaca, Mexico

There were cuntloads of cunts
in blue, greeen, orange, purple, red
marching in their flashy berets
there's Crystal Meth being made
under the fields, so they can buy
DVD Players, and some porn
is censored in the South
but the North eats pussy better
while making elaborate spiderwebs on acid
and Johnnyboy Wayne in chaps with pistol
merry going merrily on that merry go up and down
this is the Korean Peninsula

Old Uncle Sam in his apple pie top hat
wants you to inject with Toledo needles
and eat with Nantong Chopsticks
and, goddamn it, eat more pussy!
left, right, left, right, left, left, left, right,
left, right, right, left, (mothafucking cunt),
right, left, about face, ass up and out,
doggystyle, bukkake'd all the way to pyeongyang
rip, the paper tears, and reveals a mountain
where the poet is setting among the pines
waiting for his friends to come with bottles of wine

Sent from my iKrab
----------------------------

Artwork by Jon Berbank
Poetry by Ralph-Michael Chiaia

Stuck Bedroom Door

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 03:36:00 +0000

The door to the bedroom is a little stuck. Come in, dam dam! Push! Damani pushed so hard that he and the door flew in the room. What an entrance! He jumped into my arms. Good morning, little prince!