ycwy49

Murphy's law on women...

2013-03-25T04:18:00.002-07:00

1. Chances are - If you think that a woman is beautiful, she will always have a husband, or a boy-friend - to prove it !

2. Chances are - The more beautiful a woman is, the greater the chances that, she may dump you !

3. Chances are - The more make up - a woman wears - she may look proprtionately uglier !

4. Chances are - the man standing next to a beautiful woman and chatting with her, may not be her brother !

5. Chances are - if the woman whom you like, likes you back, she may let you know about her interest in you, after you are married to another lady !

6. Chances are - The more you ignore a woman, the more she would be interested in you !

7. Chances are - The more you chase a woman, the faster she may run away from you !

8. Chances are - The more you like a woman, the more her father will dislike you !

9. Chances are - the number of bullets in the gun owned by the father of the woman you like, maybe directly proportional to the extent of your interest in his daughter !

10. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend will come to meet her !

11. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend who comes to meet her, will be a handsome and very exciting male hunk !

12. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you are most badly dressed !

13. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to brush your teeth !

14. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to wear body deodarant !

15. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have an itch problem !

16. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have a gas problem in your tummy !

17. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, your ex-girl friend comes to re-concile with you !

18. Only 35 % of the women in this world are supposed to be beautiful. Chances are that, it is only the balance 65 %, who may be in your company !

Humor - Understand men...

2013-03-25T04:15:00.000-07:00

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a
real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but
will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more
outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Good movie...Departures

2013-03-23T15:24:00.003-07:00

Sleepless night again...searching on watch32.com for some movie to get sleep and found this movie today... Departures. It was a Japanese drama film written by Kundo Koyama about Daigo Kobayashi, a cellist in Tokyo loses his job when his orchestra is disbanded and move back with his wife, Mika to his hometown to get a new job. This movie was release on 13th September 2008.

"Daigo's father ran away with the waitress when he was very young, and his mother raised him by herself. His mother died two years ago, and left him the house where he grew up. Daigo feels guilty about not having taken better care of his mother. Back home, Daigo finds an advertisement in the newspaper for "assisting departures". He goes to the interview, uncertain of the job's nature. He is hired on the spot after only one question ("Will you work hard?") and being handed an "advance" by his new boss Sasaki. He discovers that the job involves preparing the dead. Daigo reluctantly accepts.

Daigo completes a number of assignments and experiences the gratitude of those left behind, gaining a sense of fulfillment. But Mika finds the DVD and begs him to give up such a "disgusting profession." Daigo refuses to quit, so she leaves. Even Yamashita, his old classmate, tells him to get "a proper job."

After a few months, Mika returns, announcing that she is pregnant. She seems to assume that he will get a different job. While Daigo and Mika try to work things out, the telephone rings with the news that Yamashita's mother, has died. In front of Yamashita, his family and Mika, Daigo prepares her body. The ritual learns the respect of all present.

The story ended with the elder Kobayashi's death. Daigo and Mika go to see the body of his father, but Daigo finds that he cannot recognize him. While Daigo dressing his father's body, Daigo finds the stone-letter he had given to his father when he was little, in his father's hands. He is at last able to recognize his father from his childhood memory.

P/S: Thank you Mr. Kundo Koyama for your story and all the crews of this drama. It was a good one, a very good one indeed.

Heaven's Grocery Store

2012-11-26T23:11:00.001-08:00

As I was walking down life's highway many years ago I came upon a sign that read Heavens Grocery Store.

When I got a little closer the doors swung open wide And when I came to myself I was standing inside.
I saw a host of angels. They were standing everywhere One handed me a basket and said; "My child shop with care."
Everything a human needed was in that grocery store And what you could not carry you could come back for more.

First I got some Patience. Love was in that same row. Further down was Understanding, you need that everywhere you go.
I got a box or two of Wisdom and Faith a bag or two. And Charity of course I would need some of that too.
I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost It was all over the place. And then some Strength and Courage to help me run this race.

My basket was getting full but I remembered I needed Grace, And then I chose Salvation for Salvation was for free I tried to get enough of that to do for you and me.

Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill, For I thought I had everything to do the Masters will.

As I went up the aisle I saw Prayer and put that in, For I knew when I stepped outside I would run into sin.

Peace and Joy were plentiful, the last things on the shelf. Song and Praise were hanging near so I just helped myself.

Then I said to the angel "Now how much do I owe?"

He smiled and said; "Just take them everywhere you go."

Again I asked; "Really now, How much do I owe?"

"My child;" he said, "God paid your bill a long long time ago."

Short Stories...Leaving The Past Behind

2012-11-26T01:32:00.003-08:00

...She looked at her father for the last time before he was finally laid to rest. And she said to herself, "I forgive you father." She has forgiven him but she has not forgotten the turmoil, terror and abuse that she went through.

Her father was working away most of the time when she was growing up. But when he was home, he was violent. She remembered crying in the middle of the night listening to him beating up her mother. She could
hear her sobs. And she wept because she could not do anything about it.

She was terrified of him. Her and her siblings were not supposed to do any thing wrong according to his terms. When she was six years old he pushed her head so hard onto the floor. She still have the scar on her forehead.

When her mother was diagnosed with depression, the four of them siblings had to move and they lived with their father. He hired someone to take care of them while he was away at work.

There was so much fear in every one of them when he was back. Her father was so angry with one of her brother's one day that he turned him upside down and wanted to throw him off. She watched that episode with horror.

From then on, she tried not to make any mistakes. She wept inside because he did not want to hear any whimpers. And she continued watching him vent his anger on the rest of her siblings.

When her father divorced her mother, she did not know how to feel or react. Her mother was back with them but her depression kept relapsing. They were neglected.

She found solace from friends at school. She enjoyed reading stories and literature. She spent her time in the school library. There was no home sweet home.

Her mother could not take care of her. Her father took her away to live with his new family. It did not work out. She was sent to a welfare home.

She did not deserve to be abandoned but she was helpless. She was mad with her father. She was not angry with her mother but she just did not understand why her mother had to be sick.

Until recently, she did not want to admit that her childhood affected her emotionally and mentally. She have brought the memories of bygone age along into her daily existence.

In all her relationships, everything went well until her partners suggested on serious commitments. She would then sabotage the relationships.

She was not able to open up to anyone. She was very defensive when given any advice or opinion on her attitude and behavior.

When there were arguments, she clamped up or walked off. She never wanted to face any issues and resolve them.

And she would not cry in front of anyone no matter how sad or hurt she was. She remembered a time when her sister was badly wounded and hospitalized. She did not want anyone to see her cry. She walked away and cried her heart out alone in a secluded place.

She excelled in her career by putting in lots of hours and efforts. Now she realized that it was one way of escaping reality. She kept herself so busy so that she do not notice things that needed attention. She was using work as a means to avoid commitments.

There was one thing that she gained from the experience of being abandoned. She was able to sit quietly alone for hours and reflect.

It has developed her fascination on nature's beauty. She love the feel of the wind blowing on her face. I enjoy watching the rain falling. And no matter how bad the weather is, it is still beautiful.

She became curious about many things. She questioned others and herself about life and how some things happen to certain people. She wondered why people behave the way they do. She looked for the answers.

She have developed the strength to persevere. But that is not enough. She want to become a survivor who is able to balance her life and enjoy the abundance that the universe has to offer.

She have decided to break herself free from the shackles of her fragile upbringing. She promise herself that she will not allow her past to continue ruining her future.

This child has grown up and will not weep in silence anymore....

This is a very sad story.

Thank God I have a lovable father. Although he have a list of chores for me before he laid to rest, and a lot of time I feel so reluctant and want to escape from the chores, but he still the best father anyone could ever had.

He was the second child out of 11. My elder uncle passed away at his young age leaving 4 children. 1940-1970 are tough years, in fact, I really don't know how he could possibly manage to support the family without a single complaint. He never spoke on his past, most of his stories was told by my mum. In his life, all things tie to goal. I do miss both of them very much and they will always lies in my heart. I am in the process of learning to let go but I won't give up.

A History to learn...Determination

2012-11-25T23:28:00.000-08:00

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realized with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds
are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.

Short Stories...A Mother's Love

2012-11-25T22:57:00.001-08:00

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge

For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge

For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge

For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge

For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge

Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Lessons:

You will never how much your parents worth till you become a parent

Be a giver not an requester, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.

Short Stories...A box of kisses

2012-11-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy."

The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, "Don't you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him
with tears in her eyes and cried, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They're all for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an
imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each one of us, as humans beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses... from our children, family members, friends, and God. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.

Short Stories...A tale of two salesmen

2012-11-25T18:56:00.002-08:00

Maybe you have heard of the tale of the two salesmen who went to Africa. The story goes like this.

A western shoe salesman went to Africa to scout the market. He wired his manufacturer, `I want to come home. Nobody wears shoes in this part of Africa.'

They brought him home and sent another salesman. The new salesman hurriedly wired an order, `Everybody here needs shoes!" Seeing everyone bear-footed in that area of Africa may have discouraged the first salesman.

He must have thought, "Geeesh, nobody uses shoes here, not even a hand-made footwear. How in the world can I sell shoes here when they don't see the benefit of it? I better go home."
He missed the opportunity to make it big. He could not see. On the other hand, the second salesman thought, "If I can only convince them to wear shoes. If I can show them the benefit. I can almost imagine whole villages buying my shoes. Wow! Aside from helping them enjoy the benefit of wearing shoes, I am going to make a great profit! I can get married and start a family and I can buy that dream house…"

When I first heard this story, I said to myself, "I am determined to be the second salesman who saw the opportunity rather than the trend."

I must admit though that there were moments in my life that I stayed on the "what is" and accepted it rather than on the "what can be" and dared to make a difference.

Now I cannot imagine life without vision. It is not worth living. Which of the two salesmen are you? The one who could not see the potential or the one who could see the vast opportunity?
If you choose the former then you have destined yourself to be average or less. But if you wish to be the latter then you have taken the first step to a great life.

"The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision." - Helen Keller

"The poorest man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream." - Pennsylvania School Journal

Short Stories...The Grace of God 神的恩典

2012-11-20T02:41:00.000-08:00

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

一次海難中唯一的倖存者被衝到一個又小又無人居住的島嶼。他狂熱地祈禱上帝救他，而每天都细看周围，但沒有任何援助到來。

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.

精疲力尽之下，他用浮木给自己建立了一個簡陋来保護自己，並保存他所有剩下的東西。但有一天，捕完食物後，回到家，發現他的小茅屋着火了，濃煙匆天。

The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

最悲的是，一切都沒有了。他震驚的感到悲痛和憤怒。 “上帝啊，你怎麼會這樣對我！”他哭了。然而，第二天一早，他被正靠近小島的船聲驚醒了。是的，有人來救他了。 “你怎麼知道我在這裡？”疲憊的他向救援人員問。他們回答說：“我們看到了你的濃煙信号。”

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time if your little hut is burning to the ground--it just may be a smoke signal that summons The Grace of God.

當事情變得糟糕，人就很容易氣餒。即使在動盪的痛苦和折磨下，也不可以失去信心，因為上帝一直都在我們的生活。記住，如果你的小木屋燃燒在地上 - 那可能只是一個煙霧信号，召喚神的恩典。

And of course, in the reality world, when there's a fire, please extinguish it. Do not fight a fire not worth fighting, evacuate the building, personal safety comes first!

當然，在现实世界，當有失火时，請立刻灭火！假如火太猛，立刻离开火场，安全第一！

Short Stories...What Goes Around Comes Around

2012-11-17T13:48:00.000-08:00

One day a man saw a old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.' Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. Sh e tol d him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about

being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A f ew miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan .

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the na pkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't owe me anything. I have
been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.'

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another da y. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the
money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard....

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

There is an old saying 'What goes around comes around.' Today I sent you this story, and I'm asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine.

Types of Mother

2012-11-17T12:10:00.003-08:00

I found this article from Psychologies Magazine, very interesting....The 5 types mother....so....which type of mother you have?

Perfectionist mother

Typically, an over-controlling, fearful and anxious woman for whom appearance is everything. ”Her children tend to be hypercritical of themselves, feeling inadequate and emotionally empty”, says Poulter.

Children of a perfectionist mother…

Your strengths: You can have a strong sense of commitment in relationships, and are responsible and reliable in everything you do. You value hard work and persistence as core character qualities.

Emotional legacy: You always feel that the opinions of others are far more important than your own. You often have a heightened sense that the world is watching and judging you.

Unpredictable mother

Anxious, angry, excessively emotional, she is overwhelmed by feelings so her parenting style is based purely on mood. This type has the most chaotic of the five styles. She creates problems, issues and crises in her mind, through her emotions and relationships, and passes them on to her children.

Children of an unpredictable mother…
Your strengths: Excellent people skills and the ability to be empathic. Often great motivators, you offer emotional support to colleagues as well as friends and family.

Emotional legacy: Growing up with an ingrained need to take care of people and their emotional issues, you can be overwhelmed by emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression. You learn early on how to read people and situations, in order to manage the strong feelings of others.

The best friend mother

She enjoys treating her children as equals in order to avoid the responsibility of setting boundaries. This mother believes her life would be over if she embraced motherhood so avoids that role. Instead, both child and parent assume the role of emotional confidante and partner, leaving the child effectively motherless. ‘In this situation, the emotional needs of the mother are so consuming, she has to rely on the child to meet them,’ says Poulter.
Children of a best friend mother…
Your strengths: You understand the importance of boundaries between parents, children, colleagues and families. Because of your sense of motherlessness, you are often aware that you take the lead and assume the responsible role as an adult.

Emotional legacy: You may feel emotionally neglected with a fear of rejection. You can be resentful and bitter in relationships, tending to feel unloved and under-appreciated.

The me-first mother

One of the most prevalent mothering styles, me-firsts are unable to view their children as separate individuals and tend to be self-absorbed and insecure. Their offspring will learn from an early age that their role is to make their mother shine.

Children of a me-first mother…
Your strengths: You are extremely good at supporting others, and are intuitive and insightful with people in all types ofrelationships. You are loyal and supportive, able to appreciate other people’s needs and solve problems.

Emotional legacy: You doubt your own decision-making abilities. You find it difficult to trust your own feelings on any matter because you view your mother’s opinion as more important and powerful than your own.

The complete mother

This ideal is only experienced by about 10 per cent of us, says Poulter. The complete mother combines the best elements of the other four styles. Emotionally balanced, she can see her children as individuals and help them achieve their own independence. She isn’t necessarily perfect herself but whatever her emotional circumstances, she is committed to motherhood — regardless of other responsibilities outside the home.

Children of a complete mother…
Strengths: Because you feel loved and understood you can take risks, embrace change and initiate relationships without fear of rejection.

Emotional legacy: You will have the ability and insight to appreciate that other people, colleagues and family members have their own perspectives. You’ll be able to navigate the challenges of becoming independent and won’t feel emotionally enmeshed with your mother.

Developing New Habits, 30 Day Trial

2012-09-05T19:39:00.003-07:00

A powerful personal growth tool is the 30-day trial. This is a concept I borrowed from the shareware industry. It's also a great way to develop new habits, and best of all, it's brain-dead simple.

Let's say you want to start a new habit like an exercise program or quit a bad habit like sucking on cancer sticks. We all know that getting started and sticking with the new habit for a few weeks is the hard part. Once you've overcome inertia, it's much easier to keep going.

Could you do it? It still requires a bit of discipline and commitment, but not nearly so much as making a permanent change. Any perceived deprivation is only temporary. You can count down the days to freedom. And for at least 30 days, you'll gain some benefit. It's not so bad. You can handle it. It's only one month out of your life.

Now if you actually complete a 30-day trial, what's going to happen? First, you'll go far enough to establish it as a habit, and it will be easier to maintain than it was to begin it. Secondly, you'll break the addiction of your old habit during this time. Thirdly, you'll have 30 days of success behind you, which will give you greater confidence that you can continue. And fourthly, you'll gain 30 days worth of results, which will give you practical feedback on what you can expect if you continue, putting you in a better place to make informed long-term decisions.
Therefore, once you hit the end of the 30-day trial, your ability to make the habit permanent is vastly increased. But even if you aren't ready to make it permanent, you can opt to extend your trial period to 60 or 90 days. The longer you go with the trial period, the easier it will be to lock in the new habit for life.

This 30-day method seems to work best for daily habits. I've had no luck using it when trying to start a habit that only occurs 3-4 days per week. However, it can work well if you apply it daily for the first 30 days and then cut back thereafter. This is what I'd do when starting a new exercise program, for example. Daily habits are much easier to establish.
Here are some other ideas for applying 30-day trials:
• Give up TV. Tape all your favorite shows and save them until the end of the trial. My whole family did this once, and it was very enlightening.
• Give up online forums, especially if you feel you're becoming forum addicted. This will help break the addiction and give you a clearer sense of how participation actually benefits you (if at all). You can always catch up at the end of 30 days.
• Shower/bathe/shave every day. I know YOU don't need this one, so please pass it along to someone who does.
• Meet someone new every day. Start up a conversation with a stranger.
• Go out every evening. Go somewhere different each time, and do something fun — this will be a memorable month.
• Spend 30 minutes cleaning up and organizing your home or office every day. That's 15 hours total.
• List something new to sell on ebay every day. Purge some of that clutter.
• Ask someone new out on a date every day. Unless your success rate is below 3%, you'll get at least one new date, maybe even meet your future spouse.
• If you're already in a relationship, give your partner a massage every day. Or offer to alternate who gives the massage each day, so that's 15 massages each.
• Give up cigarettes, soda, junk food, coffee, or other unhealthy addictions.
• Become an early riser.
• Write in your journal every day.
• Call a different family member, friend, or business contact every day.
• Make 25 sales calls every day to solicit new business. Professional speaker Mike Ferry did this five days a week for two years, even on days when he was giving seminars. He credits this habit with helping build his business to over $10 million in annual sales. If you make 1300 sales calls a year, you're going to get some decent business no matter how bad your sales skills are. You can generalize this habit to any kind of marketing work, like building new links to your web site.
• Write a new blog entry every day.
• Read for an hour a day on a subject that interests you.
• Meditate every day.
• Learn a new vocabulary word every day.
• Go for a long walk every day.

Again, don't think that you need to continue any of these habits beyond 30 days. Think of the benefits you'll gain from those 30 days alone. You can re-assess after the trial period. You're certain to grow just from the experience, even if it's temporary. The power of this approach lies in its simplicity. Even though doing a certain activity every single day may be less efficient than following a more complicated schedule — weight training is a good example because adequate rest is a key component — you'll often be more likely to stick with the daily habit. When you commit to doing something every single day without exception, you can't rationalize or justify missing a day, nor can you promise to make it up later by reshuffling your schedule.

Give trials a try. If you're ready to commit to one right now, please feel free to post a comment and share your goal for the next 30 days. If there's enough interest, then perhaps we can do a group postmortem around May 20th to see how it went for everyone. I'll even do it with you. Mine will be to go running or biking for at least 25 minutes or do a minimum 60-minute hike in the mountains every day for 30 days.

Short Stories...A Butterfly Story

2012-08-29T23:34:00.002-07:00

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed
to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

Short Stories...Women's favourite email of the year

2012-08-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 P.M. he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Worry Quote

2012-08-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

"It is not work that kills, but worry." African Proverb

"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry: Worry never fixes anything." Ernest Hemingway

"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep." Dale Carnegie

"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." Arthur Somers Rache

"Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it." Mark Twain

"Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday." Author Unknown

"The only thing you will ever accomplish by worrying is to elevate your stress levels." Catherine Pulsifer

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. " Author Unknown

"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work." Robert Frost

"I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about." Henry Ford

"Blessed for the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night." Author Unknown

Bob works from home to escape the distraction of office chit chat but no worries of the distraction at home! If he can assumes his office and imagine it as his home, he is completely worries free! So, wherever you are now, stop thinking, concentrate on your work, make sure you off your butt from your chair and walk out of the office on time! Traffic jam? On your radio, sing together, and only think you are on the way to a perfect date or perfect meal! Can't sleep? Stop thinking! Why worry for things that never will happen!
Don't worry, be happy.....

Short Stories...The Cab Ride

2012-08-23T21:05:00.002-07:00

An inspiration story from a NY cab driver... touching.

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away. But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. "How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. "You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

He's right! I recalled nothing regards to all my teenage best friends but I do remember how they make me feel. I still recalled how they making excuses to put efforts in our school project although the task was assigned by our teacher and how they teasing on me when I told them my health condition. I only remembered those who assisting me on our school project on the last minute. It wasn't their task and it didn't turn up perfectly but is their efforts to help me to finish the whole project, I thanked them and they said, "Although they're not assigned to it but the project was still part of them, and they are glad that they can be part of it!" I start my working life after my secondary school and never contact any of my best friend. I got the chance to know more people throughout my career and the things I've involved in and not all I did considered to have a longer friendship or relationship but I do remember those who gives me the best moment in my life, although it was not much, but I'm grateful that I've the chance to know them.

Short Stories...The boy and the apple tree

2012-08-22T20:29:00.003-07:00

This is a story where a lot of people have read it but how many of us do make use on it?

Long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He loved the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow...He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by.......

The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day this boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come play with me," the tree asked the boy. I am no longer a kid, I don't ' play around trees anymore." He replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money.....but you can pick my apples and sell them. Then you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. He never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad..

One day the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?"he replied. "Sorry but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches off the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but he never came back since then.

The tree was lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was so delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am so sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?" the boy asked. "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a very long long time.

Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy, I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you...." the tree said. "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" the tree said. "I am too old for that now." the boy said. "I really can't give you anything.....the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. The boy replied "Good! I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years. Old Tree Roots is the best place to lean and rest on." "Come, come sit down with me and rest " The boy now an old man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears......

This is a story for everyone. The tree is our parents. When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad...When we grew up, we left them...only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give
everything they can to make you happy. You may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that is how all of us are treating our parents.

In chinese culture, the burial of the dead is a matter taken very seriously in Chinese society. In Chinese belief improper funeral arrangements can wreak ill fortune and disaster on the family of the deceased. I'm a Chinese and I've gone through these arrangements. Sometimes I wonder, if the children or the family member of the deceased never visit, never bother, never care or paying their respect to him/her when he/she still around, what is the purpose for these arrangements and ceremony? Just because of the beliefs? I understand most people avoiding and giving excuses and regret when it was too late. Please, Love your your parents, no matter where they are, take more time to spent with them, there's always times assigned to you if you want it, listen to them, you will see the differences.

Short Stories...The Starfish

2012-08-22T10:38:00.003-07:00

There was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up, and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

Each of us can make a difference to this world. Everybody is useful and it is just the matter of whether you want to make a difference.

Short Stories...Two Choices

2012-08-22T10:27:00.002-07:00

Two choices...make one! What would you do? You make the choice! Don't look for a punch line; There isn't one! Read it anyway, is a good one. The question is: Would you have made the same choice? I'm glad that the boys made a good choice to let Shay play in their team.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?" The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked,"Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning." Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay" Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world. Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Short Stories...Attitude is Everything!

2012-08-21T12:28:00.002-07:00

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed Him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied,

"Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins.

Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.

" I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Short Stories...Balance of Life

2012-08-12T01:43:00.003-07:00

Mary and Susan were friends for years. They grew up together and attended the same schools. They were now both in their 40's, and both had great careers. They both had a similar upbringing - same education, same family values, similar support and financial position. But there was one main difference. Mary never seemed to have enough time. She watched her life long friend Susan. She had similar responsibilities and interests. Susan had a career, she had three children, she had her hobbies, one of which included golf. Over lunch, Susan was telling Mary about the golf game that she played last weekend.

"Susan, where do you find the time to play golf?" asked Mary. "I never seem to have the time, now with the children older and doing there own thing I thought I would have time to play golf like we did when we were in college."

Susan looked at Mary and laughed, "Mary, we both have the same hours in a day. You do have the time to play golf!"

With a sigh Mary replied, "That's easy for you to say. I never seem to have time. My work takes so much of my time. I am in the office at 7:30, I leave at 6:30 in the evening. By the time I get home and have dinner, it is 8:00! And, then I usually have a briefcase full of work. The weekends are full of more work. Just to keep up, I have to put in the hours. You know what it is like!"

"Of course, I know what it is like," Mary said. "But what would happen tomorrow if you got sick? Who would do the work?"

"Sick. Who has time to get sick! exclaimed Mary. "But if I did get sick, someone else would do the work, I suppose."

"You know something, Mary, I used to be like you. I worked night and day and of course on weekends. When I got home I was exhausted but I would push myself and read my children a bedtime story. By the time I went to bed, I would be more than exhausted. The boss I had was very demanding. She was there early in the morning, late at night, and she always worked weekends. I felt I had to do the same - I needed the job to help support my family - just as you did. But then I had a change of bosses. The man I worked for was older and much wiser, I might add! Of course, I continued to work the hours I had been working. One day he came to my desk and passed me a card that had a quote on it which said, 'What I do today is important, because I will never have today again' - then he left.

I sat there stunned. I suddenly thought of what was important to me. While my work was important, I realized my children were more important. I also realized that time for me was important. It was 4:30, the official closing time of the office. I straightened my desk, felt a twinge of guilt about leaving, but I forced myself to leave. I was home by 5:00. My children and husband were surprised. I had a wonderful evening. It was not a chore to read that bedtime story that evening."

Mary was looking at her friend thoughtfully and then questioned Susan about the work she had left on her desk.

Susan replied, "I never thought this possible, but I actually accomplished more the next day then I had in weeks. As I was leaving the next day I stopped at my new boss's office and thanked him for the quote. He told me a story about advice his dad had given him many years ago when he was working night and day. He referred to it as 'Balance of Life'. His dad told him to keep balance in his work, in his family life and in time for himself. He explained to me, while all aspects of our life are important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all addictions you lose -
- no balance with your family - you lose them
- no balance with your work - you lose your perspective and you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.
- no balance with yourself - you forget who you are and when you retire you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a company sale or downsizing you lose your identity.

He went on to tell me that who we are is NOT what we do to make a living. Who we are is a balance of our family, our work, ourselves! It truly was the best advice I ever received."

Mary took a drink of her tea and tearfully looked at her friend, "But I would never get my work done if I left at 4:30!"

Susan looked thoughtfully at her, "When you go to work on Monday, look at what you have on your desk. Make a list of everything you have to get done and beside that list write the impact of not doing it. Then focus only on the top three items that have the most impact. Do that everyday for a week. At first, you will find it difficult to leave. But, after awhile, you will find that you will have more energy, and you will be more focused in your work because you have BALANCE! There are times when we have to lose balance - a
special project at work, or a family matter at home - but consciously focusing on balance keeps everything in check."

Mary smiled at her friend, "Thanks for talking with me. We have been friends for so long. Thank heavens I have balance with your friendship! You have convinced me. I will leave the work in my briefcase this weekend. On Monday, I will make the list first thing. Perhaps next weekend, I will have the time to go golfing with you!"

"Balance of Life" - important for us ALL!

Short Stories...Each day is a gift

2012-08-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said:
"Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less."

Working life...

2012-08-09T09:31:00.001-07:00

Short Stories...Sharing

2012-08-08T10:42:00.001-07:00

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present.