yellowstonedreaming

Follow the Best Yellowstone Site in the World

2010-07-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

My Yellowstone adventure is over, but if you are looking for all of the information worth knowing about Yellowstone Park, you need to head over to www.secretyellowstone.com. Pat and Kim visit the Park twice a year and are attempting to photograph and document everything they see.

I miss the Park but I don't miss the job.

Be sure to visit my new blog judyohio.blogspot.com.

Thanks for following.

Still Home From Yellowstone

2010-07-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

No, I haven't changed my mind. No, I haven't been lying awake at night thinking about bison poo and geysers. No, I'm not heading back to Yellowstone now, tomorrow or even in the next decade.

I've been reflecting on the last two months, trying to work up some nostalgia or an emotional moment, but it ain't gonna happen.

This is my back deck.

We have five acres of woods.

There are no dangerous creatures lurking out there, unless you count our neighbor who plays opera while he works in his yard.

I don't have to worry about falling through the crust into bubbling lava.

This is my little wilderness.

There are no lodge pole pines in this back yard.

No drunken employees.

No RV's rumbling down the road by my bedroom window.

Wow, I'm using a lot of no's.

I'll be more positive.

I'm positive this is what I want to see in my front yard when I walk out the door.

Is that better?

Yellowstone is a wondrous, exciting, and fascinating National Park. Everyone should try to visit.

VISIT is the key word.

Working and living there...not so great...for me anyway.

I met some great people, I took some beautiful hikes (before the mosquitoes arrived) and I saw more of the Park than most people.

I also stood on my feet eight hours a day, five days a week, wearing a maroon polyester shirt and black pants...all for minimum wage. Oh yes, room and board was deducted from my salary.

I knew that going in, but the reality hit when I got my first paycheck. It suddenly occurred to me that I was working pretty hard for $100 a week.

It was time to head home to be with hubby again. He has been a great support during this experience. He let me follow my bliss all the way to Yellowstone Park and back home again.

I clicked my heels together and there he was.

I will continue writing. Just you wait and see.

Thanks for following and stay tuned for more adventures in my back yard.

Home From Yellowstone

2010-07-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

I'm home from Yellowstone Park, my feet are up and I am basking, no, wallowing in the comforts of a real house. After two months in my little cell of a room, this feels like Oprah's place.

I promised to catch you up on the trip home, so here are the highlights.

Route 90 was my yellow brick road home.

I decided that Mount Rushmore was not worth the side trip....old presidents carved on a mountain sounds enticing, but I'm not paying for the privilege.

We did drive through the Badlands.

Appropriately named, by the way.

I'm smiling here because it was our first stop to take in the view.

Hubby was smiling too

Then we started seeing these signs everywhere.

If it's not the danger of stepping in boiling hot springs or getting gored by bison, it's snakes.

After fifteen minutes of heat and rocks and utter despair, we started to worry that the Badlands was our Hotel California.

You can check in but your can never check out.

We finally found our way out of the Badlands before the vultures started circling our car.

We saw a lot of this.

And this.

There are ranches out here with miles of nothing around them.

To the women of South Dakota, I will come to rescue you. I will take you away to places where there are malls and coffee shops.

Send a message by carrier pigeon and I'll be there for you.

I had to take hubby to the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota, cause he just didn't believe it existed.

They change the pictures on the front every year.

They use 12 different colors of corn to accomplish this.

We still have our Christmas lights up and these folks redo the entire front of a building with corn.

I am in awe.

We went inside, where there are corn products, corn snacks, corn earrings, corn mugs....and wowee zowie...I got my picture taken with a walking ear of corn.

I find these mascot creatures rather creepy. They don't talk and you don't know if they are male, female, young, old....yes, I don't like clowns or mimes either.

But I touched it and posed.

Yuck.

Lookee at what we found in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

A 60 foot statue of the Jolly Green Giant.

You're starting to see the kind of tourist attractions I like.

The big green guy isn't standing in the middle of the town just because the locals have a thing for tacky statues.

They actually can the Green Giant peas and corn there...my favorite veggies, by the way.

I'm probably skipping over a state or two, but it became a blur after a while.

Probably because we started to see endless miles of corn and grain elevators.

By the way, hubby has certain snacks that he eats on road trips...sunflower seeds, sweet tarts and fried pork skins.

Yes, I said fried pork skins. If you've never heard of them, they are real and exactly what they say they are. I won't go into anymore detail.

Finally, at last, Ohio greeted me with open arms.

There was even an arch for me. Sweet, huh?

We were only home a short time before we took off for an early 4th party which involved shooting lots of guns at a variety of targets.

That's what we do here in Ohio.

Shoot guns, drink beer, scratch, cuss...

Yes, that's me, with a gun in my hand.

Hubby likes it when I shoot with him, but he also gets a little nervous.

This is hubby looking over all of the testosterone toys available to him.

Guns and ammo. I know how to keep my man happy.

So, enough for now.

I've got my feet up, remember.

I'm wallowing. I'm a happy wallowing piggy.

More tomorrow with reflections on my two months in Yellowstone.

Still Leaving Yellowstone

2010-06-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let you know that we have not fallen off the edge of the Earth which seems to be about 1100 miles east of Yellowstone Park.

We've been driving long days, eating fried pork skins (more about that later) and listening to a bad bar band in an Indiana bar.

Bear with me until I get my pics together and catch you all up on the drive home.

Also trying to think up a new name for my future blog. Can't stop now.

I plan on really cutting loose in the future. In the Park, I was always afraid that the Park rangers would come and haul me away for my offensive remarks. Nothing holding me back now!

Leaving Yellowstone Park

2010-06-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

Grab a hankie, friends, because the day has arrived.

Once I drive through these gates, I will be out of Yellowstone Park.

I may never return.

Actually, it's almost 100% that I will not return.

Shoot. Now I need a hankie.

Well, I did it.

The polyester uniform and the name tag have been turned in.

I'm no longer a front desk monkey at the Old Faithful Inn.

Sob.

O.K., I've been complaining about it and I won't miss the job at all, but...I've been living in Yellowstone Park, for heaven's sake. That qualifies as a once in a lifetime experience.

Sob and sob some more.

Even though my eyes were misty, the scenery didn't disappoint on the way out.

We took the eastern route to Cody, Wyoming.

We had to stop at the Buffalo Bill Historical Center.

Like everything else in Wyoming, it was bigger than big.

We only spent an hour or so there which hardly does it justice.

Hubby didn't see a moose in the Park, so this is the next best thing.

Did that thing move?

Here I am with Sackajawea or Sacajaweea or heck, you know, the Indian chick.

I don't think she was this big. Must be the clean mountain air.

And then it was on to the Big Horn Mountains.

There were signs along the road explaining what kind of rocks are along the road and their age.

It started out with 300 million years old, which freaked me out and then....

There are mountains here that are almost 2 billion years old!

How many zeros would that be?

Of course there was road construction.

The guy with the stop sign looked just like Homer Simpson.

Hey! We sat there a long time. The mind can play tricks in the high altitudes. Lack of oxygen and all.

At one point we were at 10,000 feet.

Even the birds were dragging around little oxygen tanks.

So look way, way down in that valley, and you'll see where our road is taking us,.

Wyoming is the most incredible state.

How they get these roads paved with a state population of 200 is beyond me, but everyone must be incredibly hard workers.

Eventually, we got a room in Buffalo, Wyoming, and as we speak, hubby is snoring away. Just like living in the dorm. I feel at home.

More tomorrow from the road trip home.

Yellowstone Park - I'll Miss You (Sort Of)

2010-06-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

The time approaches to say farewell to my dysfunctional home in Yellowstone Park. But then, aren't all homes dysfunctional?

What will I miss?

Number One son who works at Grant Village.

Of course, if I wanted to see him, I had to track him down. All the same, I knew he was just down the road.

Grizzly Son and his girl friend who took me on some great hikes.

I kept up with them, by the way.

My friend, David, at Yellowstone Traders, in West Yellowstone.

He's living the dream, living on the edge, living off the radar...you pick.

My friend, Ken, who took me on some great nature drives, taught me all about ravens and other creatures, and offered a pleasant break from the insanity of the Park.

And of course, there is Yellowstone Park, not to be confused with the companies who run the hotels and stores here.

It stands alone in its beauty.

It belongs to no one.

The Park would be better off without any humans, but I am grateful that I was allowed to spend a couple of months here.

So, good bye Yellowstone.

I loved walking through your beauty, even though you scared me to death at times.

I may never be back, but I have the memories, the pictures and the stories to last me a lifetime.

For all of my blog friends, I hope you continue to follow my trip home. There will be some adventures there, I'm sure. It's never boring with the hubby.

There will be a new blog once Yellowstone Dreaming is packed away. It's in my blood now. Gotta keep writing. Gotta stay in touch with you all.

Hiking With Hubby in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

See this look of horror? Hubby is preparing for a hike. In his words, "If you can't drive there, it isn't worth seeing."

But since he is in Yellowstone Park, he decided that maybe he should get off the road and venture down a trail.

I took him to the Lone Star Geyser which is about a 45 minute walk down a paved road. For hubby, this is the equivalent of basic training.

Note to self....do not drink a cup of coffee before going on a hike. Walking next to running water causes one to have the urge to, well, you know. I got to practice more of my roughing it in the woods techniques.

Here's the path.

Common phrases for the non hiker are...
"How much farther?"
"Are we there yet?"
I heard them a lot on the hike.

This is my artistic shot of moss on the tree.

Here's hubby climbing over a tree on the path.

Remember, there is very little dirt here. The trees just fall over.

They may be more dangerous than the bears.

We reached our goal. The Lone Star Geyser.

It sits all by itself in the middle of nowhere.

It goes off every three hours or whenever it gets the urge.

Hubby was determined to wait it out.

No way he was wasting a 45 mile walk that didn't end up at a bar with a big screen t.v.

And then it happened. Lone Star gave us a show.

It erupted for at least half an hour.

Here's another view of our little beauty.

It was well worth the wait. There was only one other couple there, so for the most part, we had the show to ourselves.

You can have Old Faithful.

We had the Lone Star Geyser.

Much to hubby's dismay, the return trip was another 45 minutes, but he was glad he made it there. His circulation thanked him also.

There's not much time left in Yellowstone and believe it or not, I'm growing misty over the prospect of leaving. Not sure I can get hubby out for another walk before we leave.

Check in tomorrow for more tales from Yellowstone Park.

Dining Out in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

Today is hubby's birthday....everybody sing the birthday song for him. We celebrated by planning a special evening in Yellowstone Park.

To be honest, we mostly lounged around today in my dorm room. It was his birthday and that's what he wanted to do. He kept asking for the remote control, so I had to remind him that we are without many comforts.

I made dinner reservations at the Grant Village restaurant for two reasons. One, I have been working at the Old Faithful Inn for two months and I needed a change of scenery and two, I needed to track down number one son before I leave the Park.

We left early and headed toward the south entrance of the Park.

Here we are in front of Lewis Falls.

Lewis Lake is in the southwest corner of the Park.

This is what Lewis River turns into on the other side of the road.

Farther down the road, the river goes through a deep gorge.

As we got closer to the south entrance to Yellowstone, the road was straight as an arrow.

This doesn't happen often here.

Before we went into the restaurant, hubby had to put a finger in Yellowstone Lake.

It was cold just like he thought.

Good thing he didn't try this at the geysers.

Here's the restaurant.

And here's the son.

I am so proud. Can you tell?

The food was great, of course. I had salmon. Hubby had fish and chips. He's a cheap date.

We topped it off with huckleberry ice cream.

Right now, hubby is curled up on his single bed, dreaming dreams of dancing girls and foot rubs and war movies and other things he likes.

Tomorrow he has promised to go on a short hike.

Secretly he's praying for rain.

My parting advice for the day is this. If you're planning to visit Yellowstone, make dinner reservations. This is a busy place and one thing tourists like to do is eat.

So for now, I'm listening to the gentle snoring of hubby and trying to keep my eyes open past 9 p.m. It isn't working. Until tomorrow.

Playing Tourist in Yellowstone Park, Part II

2010-06-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of big days in Yellowstone Park for me and the hubby. We put on funny tourist clothes and rubber necked our way all around the Park.

This is Roaring Mountain.

I didn't hear anything, but the steam does sort of "roar" out of cracks. It's best to see this in the morning when it's cold so the steam is visible.

We went to Mammoth Hot Springs since hubby had never been there.

We met up with my friend, Ken, and climbed to the top of the Terraces.

That's Mammoth down there in the distance.

Ken and hubby demanded "benching" time before we made it up the stairs to the top.

It almost seems like the surface of the moon.

With blue skies and mountains with snow.

Actually, the moon probably doesn't look anything like this, but it is eerie.

At the very top, you are treated to a hot springs that pours down the side of the Terraces.

Hubby stayed behind at a bench.

He was upset when he learned that you can drive to the top of the Terraces to see this.

He hinted that I should walk all the way down myself and drive the car to the top to pick him up.

It didn't happen.

Today we drove the entire loop around Yellowstone Park.

I'll spare you the details and just hit the good tourist stuff.

This is a baby grizzly that was right beside the road.

A ten year old Japanese boy ran right up to it and turned for his father to take a picture.

Everyone was yelling at them to get back in the car.

Where there's a baby, there's usually a mama and she isn't so cute. This isn't Disneyland, folks. The animals are not animated. All ended well, as far as we know.

We saw the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone....from 5 or 6 different locations.

Hubby said that it's better than the other Grand Canyon.

Here I am saying "Cheeseburger" for the umpteenth time for hubby.

He waits until my smile has faded into teeth gritting before he pushes the button, so don't think that this is how I really smile.

Here's the petrified hubby looking at a petrified tree.

Actually, only the tree is rock like.

Hubby has his softer moments.

The macho elks are out and about now.

He's looking good.

Don't think any of the ladies were out to appreciate him, but there is a season for everything.

So there you have it friends. The highlights of two days worth of traveling.

I don't like playing tourist, if you must know. I liked it much better here when you couldn't see a car for miles.
At least I was able to experience the Park before the tour buses and RV's took over.

Tonight, we're hitting the employee pub for pizza and Moose Drool. Wish you were here.

Playing Tourist in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

We're going to make this fast. The hubby and I have things to do, places to go and people to see before we get out of Yellowstone Park.

We saw a double rainbow which has to be special in anyone's book.

You don't see this in Ohio.

We posed in front of thermal features.

Hubby loves them.

We're playing tourists in Yellowstone Park.

We saw Beehive Geyser go off.

It's just down the path from Old Faithful.

We both like it better than the Big O. It sort of looks like a fire hydrant gone bad.

This is my friend, Aleta!

We went to college together back in, well, a long time ago.

She lives in Minnesota now and we haven't seen each other in years. Wouldn't you know that we would hook up in Yellowstone while she was on vacation?

Hubby in front of Castle Geyser.

If he looks frightened, it's because we're going for a walk.

Hubby doesn't like walking, but he can't find any other way to see the thermal features he loves.

A big atta boy for my old man.

Remember how peaceful my Park used to be?

This is the crowd waiting for Old Faithful to erupt.

Too, too, too many people for me.

That's all I have for now. Hubby has promised that I get to go to the bar like a real person and have some Moose Drool.

Someone is going to wait on me.

If I don't post tomorrow, don't worry. I work at 4 p.m. and like I said, we have miles to go before we sleep.

Yellowstone Park and the Hubby

2010-06-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday. 8:18 p.m. Hubby gets off the plane in Bozeman.

Not a good picture, but I only had one chance at this and the setting was wrong.

It really is the hubby, though, not some random tourist.

We hugged. We kissed. All the normal stuff.

You had to be there.

For some reason, I couldn't sleep in that nice motel room.

Two months of listening to my room mate's night terrors and the drunks outside my window have skewed my sleeping pattern. I need noise!

Hubby claims that I was spacey yesterday...about an 8 on a scale of 1-10. Thanks goodness he was driving.

On the way to West Yellowstone, I saw this sign. Something I haven't shared with you all is that I grew up in a town of 300 people (no, I didn't leave out any zeros) and the name of the town is Harpster. One of them escaped, obviously.

Just down the road, we saw this Veteran's Chapel. There were American flags lining the long drive.

Services had just started, but we didn't go in. Something else you don't know about me (true confessions Monday) is that I was raised/forced to attend church when I lived in Harpster. I even played the piano and the organ. If you tell anyone, I will hunt you down and rip out your tongue.

The point is that I still, to this day, get cold sweats when I get near a church.

I'll get therapy for this someday.

Here's the hubby checking out the scenery.

A noble profile, huh?

He did all of the mandatory tourist things...ooooooo, lookey there, wow, where are the bears?

Forgot to mention that his luggage went to India or somewhere. We were able to get it before we left Bozeman. Hubby has a way of letting people know that he expects service and that he takes no prisoners. Must have been all of those years raised by the Colonel.

Here's hubby in his new hat...no comment.

He's standing in front of the snow bus that takes visitors into the park in the winter.

West Yellowstone locals said that some winters, the snow is so deep, they don't even plow it. They just drive on top of it.

We spent some time in West Yellowstone but hubby got anxious to see Yellowstone Park. We drove in and got stuck in this traffic jam.

I was expecting a bison jam. I wanted hubby to see one. Not this.

I don't know what happened, but a car hit the RV on the other side and an ambulance passed us as we were driving toward the accident.

Right before this accident, we had picked up a hitch hiker who I recognized as a young man who lives in my dorm. I knew he was strange, but everyone in my dorm is, so I thought to myself, "How bad can it be?"

Bad. Real bad. We were stuck in traffic with creepy boy for about 45 minutes. He told jokes. Really bad jokes and whined about not being able to pick up chicks. He never quite grasped that we live in the same dorm. I let it go at that.

We finally made it to Old Faithful and slowed the car down enough to push him out. No, that was just a fantasy playing in my head.

Something was erupting when we dropped him off.

I've never seen this one go off. Got to check it out later.

It sort of looked like a fire hydrant that had been run over by a truck.

On the way back to West Yellowstone, hubby got to see a few thermal features that he loved.

He saw his bison.

He saw the weather change from warm to cold to rainy all in a few minutes. He is confused about what to wear in Yellowstone.

We got stuck in the traffic jam again on the way back.

I slept great last night which means hubby is in for trouble today. He already looks worried and it's only 6:00 in the morning.

It's great having hubby with me now. I'm already tearing up about leaving my wacky world, but I know that more weird and wonderful things are waiting for me there.

You'll hear from me again tomorrow whether you like it or not.

We're Not in Yellowstone Toto!

2010-06-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

Today was the big day. I left the imaginary world of Yellowstone Park and traveled to Bozeman to pick up hubby. I think of Yellowstone as imaginary because the business end of it only exists for a few months out of the year and disappears like a slightly disturbing, somewhat pleasant dream.

I left early so that I could get a much needed haircut, shop and lounge in our motel room which is twice the size of the room I have been living in for two months. Returning to my house should send me into total shock.

The first thing I did when I hit the Holiday Inn was check out the bathroom. It was a long trip.

Not bad. It doesn't smell moldy like the one in my Yellowstone dorm.

I remember how this works.

You get two beds in a motel room. Big beds with lots of pillows.

If hubby plays his cards right, we'll only need one bed.

And this is a..........what do you call it in your country?

A box with talking pictures?

Oh yeah. It's a television.

I approached it with reverence as you can see in the mirror. I needed to record an image of it before I touched the remote.

There are strange things going on outside here too.

Bozeman has flowers! These are lilac bushes outside the motel.

I smelled something familiar and realized that this place has grass.

I wanted to just roll around on it.

I know. I should have at least taken my shoes off and wiggled my toes.

Probably do that later.

Even though the familiar things of my back home world are here, the mountains remind me that I am still out west.

I think I could live here.

Bozeman has Walmart, Target, Border Books, Old Navy...all the good material stuff and yet nature dominates the scenery.

It's always strange leaving Yellowstone. We are pretty basic there. Our clothes don't match. We wear hiking shoes. We go to breakfast with bed head. We walk to work with bison and try to avoid their poo.

Even in Walmart, I felt like a mountain woman coming into town to buy provisions. I'll have to remember to dress a little better when I get home.

Nah. I'm comfortable being a mountain woman. Things may not change. Sorry hubby.

I promise pics of hubby getting off the plane, but since he won't be in for a few hours yet, you'll have to wait until tomorrow.

I have plans to take a looooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg hot shower. And no, there will be no pics of that.

Until tomorrow, remember....don't take your shower for granted.

Mystic Falls, Moose and Yellowstone Park

2010-06-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

It was another one of those perfect Yellowstone Park days. Cold in the morning. Comfortable in the afternoon and evening.

I talked Grizzly son into one last hike before hubby gets here tomorrow.

I had been wanting to see Mystic Falls which is only a couple of miles from Old Faithful.

It's a short hike...1.4 miles to the Falls.

Notice the smugness? It's only a 3 mile round trip. You would think I was a veteran hiker.

The trail starts out like this.

Not much of a challenge so I know you're not impressed.

Yet.

Hang on. Here's the Firehole River.

And here's Mystic Falls.

All uphill, by the way. Not too bad, but I did pant and puff a bit.

Here's a closer look at the top of the Falls.

This was the view behind us.

See....I was really there.

After hiking up to Mystic Falls, we drove farther down the road to the Grand Prismatic Hot Springs.

Our goal was to climb the hill so we could look down on it which is an awesome sight.

This was as high as I was getting. I've straightened up since the 60's.

At this point, we discovered that mosquito season has started.

They're big here and numerous and I was afraid our entire blood supply would be drained if we stayed longer.

On the way back to Old Faithful, we saw a ruckus ahead. Tourists were pulling off the road, heading into an open field.

We actually saw a MOOSE! A rare sight around here as most of them are in the Tetons. Grizzly son went crazy as his goal has been to spot one and photograph it. He got a picture of it before it disappeared into the woods. I hate to mention this as he is still in a deep funk, but the picture came out blurry for some reason.

He will recover. I think. Hopefully soon. There will be other moose, son.

He graciously shared a couple of his best pictures.

This picture of a bald eagle was taken on a recent trip to Bozeman.

I think this is an incredible picture. Prize worthy even. Good job son.

This picture of a wolf was taken near West Yellowstone.

According to Grizzly, he was the alpha male protecting the kill.

So tonight I am a happy woman. I've had a hike. I saw a moose. Roommate is off with some people in Cody and I have the room to myself. I get to go to Bozeman tomorrow to pick up hubby and enjoy civilization for a couple of days.

All is well.

The Ever Changing Yellowstone Park

2010-06-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm in Yellowstone Park and it's June 17th, right?

It was warm yesterday, as I recall.

I dashed out to work this morning in a sweat shirt jacket and BLAM!

I was knocked back a foot by gale force winds and snow.

I snapped a few pictures outside the Old Faithful Inn. Cripes!

Throw another log on the fire Lars.

The word is that it usually snows every month in Yellowstone Park.

I'm not complaining. I know you find that hard to believe, but the hubby tells me that it's 95 in Ohio.

I'm not pleasant when I'm sweating.

The Old Faithful Inn was hopping with guests...many in shorts and flip flops.

Got to love people who don't check the weather before they travel.

Since I've discovered how to use YouTube, here's a video of the Old Faithful Inn, my soon to be ex place of employment.

Now just imagine the place with about a thousand tourists in it and a noise level way above the safety standards.

Here are the characters of the day.

Ronnie works in housekeeping at the Inn. This jovial fellow is from Ohio. Not giving him my address.

His favorite word is "groovy." Haven't heard that one in a while.

As odd as he can be, the man is sweet and plays the piano like a dream. The Inn has a piano on the second floor where he regularly entertains guests.

Ronnie wanted me to sit on his lap for the picture. Not an option.

Michael, a 20 year old from Miami, Florida, usually works behind the desk with me. Today, he was working as a bellman.

Michael is either going to be a sniper or the ruler of the world. I have warned him to use his powers wisely.

He is a born wheeler dealer, schmoozer, con artist and politician all rolled into one. He knows everyone and gets invited everywhere.

I love the "man/boy" as one of the managers called him the other day.

So that's the news from Yellowstone Park where the word "normal" is seldom heard.

An Author in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

This is the only big news from Yellowstone Park today.

C.J. Box, who has written a series of mysteries, was at the Old Faithful Inn signing copies of his new book, "Nowhere to Run."

I got a close up personal moment with him. The other women didn't, so I was quite smug.

I bought his new book which cost me a day's pay, but it's signed which is special.

Check out my cute cowboy at his website, http://cjbox.net. I firmly, absolutely, totally believe in supporting authors. Writing is tough work.

I worked the mid shift, 9-6:30 which pretty much guarantees your day is shot. Tomorrow I work from 7-3 and the day after I work 6:15-2:30. And then, on Saturday, it's off to Bozeman to pick up hubby at the airport.

I'm so excited that I can barely sit still. I get to spend a couple of nights in hotels that have hot running water. I can get a hair cut. I can go to Walmart. Wait...let me clarify...

Really, truly and sincerely, hubby dearest, I am excited about seeing you, but all that other stuff just pushes me over the edge. Hot water!

It will be like Christmas in June or getting out of boot camp or living like a civilized human being again.

I'm all aflutter.

It was more of this today.

Cold, wet weather.

Nothing happening.

So, how about some more YouTube?

Why doesn't something like that happen when I'm around?

Did the bison just want to get to his favorite scratching, rolling place?

Why are people still standing around after this little spectacle?

It would just make my day if I saw bison gone wild. From a safe distance of course.

So from Old Faithful, where we are all lost in time and space...good night for now. Something is bound to happen tomorrow.

Is Yellowstone Park Really the Land of Oz?

2010-06-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

I have less than two weeks to work in Yellowstone Park or the Land of Oz. Why am I making this comparison?

The most striking similarity is...
I am convinced that two of my managers trained under the Wicked Witch of the West. They have all of her charm and people skills.

Neither one speaks to the front desk staff unless they have something negative to say. Have I pointed out that we make $7.75 an hour, minus room and board, we stand on our feet 8 hours a day and work shifts that change daily? Stop rolling your eyes behind my back. I know I am repeating myself, but I don't have television and there isn't anything else to occupy my time.

Yesterday, I came close to grabbing one of the managers by the ears and slamming her face into the outdated computer monitor. I believe we can play Pong on it. With great effort, and I mean dangerously high blood pressure effort, I controlled myself.

You know what relieves stress when the boss pushes buttons you never even knew you had? Try this game. http://whackyourboss.com/. When I played it, there were 17 ways to "whack" or "off" your boss. Now they are up to 20 ways. Can't wait to give the other 3 a try. It isn't pretty, it's dark and gruesome and I love it. Don't go there unless that last big red button, hidden in the reptilian part of your brain, has been pushed by your Wicked Witch.

I feel better now. Thank you.

To balance the universe, let me share some things that I will miss.

My early morning walks around the Old Faithful geyser basin are therapeutic. Better than an hour on a psychiatrist's couch.

It must work since my managers are still alive and the rangers haven't hauled me off.

The tourists swamp the area later in the day, but in the morning, they're too busy packing or buying over priced lattes to get out on the walkways. Thank the gods for that favor.

This morning, every time I turned around, one of these little chipmunk fellows was staring at me.

Don't let the cute fool you. They have beady eyes.

There were beautiful little yellow flowers next to the brightly colored rocks next to the rushing river...

Uhhhh....there he is again.

What? I don't have any food!

I sat my Morning Glory Pool and listened to the birds and the geysers.

The geysers sort of sound like waves pounding on the beach.

A peaceful sound in the morning.

I did not take this path.

If the Wicked Witch works here, her flying monkeys live down there.

But I did take another path that looked perfectly harmless and found this.

Sorry if you are eating breakfast or dinner right now.

I'm all alone on this path, by the way.

I couldn't resist taking a photo before I made a frantic dash down the boardwalk.

I was singing my bear songs..."Here I am in the woods...no one knows I'm here...I love the friendly bears...they never shed a tear." I think I was singing this to the tune of "Blue Skies" an old song that anyone younger than me won't know, but the point was to make a lot of noise so that whatever chewed this carcass would decide to run the other way.

Bears are quite sensitive to poor singing. They run off and stick their head in a geyser if it's too bad. It's called "suicide by geyser" I believe. Happens all the time.

He's back.

Stop staring at me with your little beady eyes.

I know you've seen this on YouTube, but it can't hurt one bit to see it again.

That always makes me feel better. How about you?

Until tomorrow, I promise to control myself....if I only had some courage or a brain. Must visit the Great Oz. He can tell me what to do.

Gossip from Yellowstone Park

2010-06-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

I have officially resigned from my minimum wage job. My last day is the 28th of June which gives hubby and me plenty of time to explore Yellowstone Park together.

I'm trying to squeeze out a tear.

I think I pulled something, but no tears.

It's time for some gossip.

Yes, I realize this poster is sexist.

Yes, I would pummel someone who said this to me.

I still think it's kind of cute in a retro way.

Here's the big gossip of the day. Actually, it is a fact.

I have reliable sources but will go to jail before I reveal them. Unless they threaten me with a Federal offense then I'm singing like a bird.

Remember the girls from my bus tour?

Many Yellowstone Park employees are from Asian countries. There are agencies that set them up with jobs in the U.S., promising them opportunities to practice their English and a chance to explore our country. They pay a good chunk of money for the honor of cleaning rooms and working in kitchens.

All of us agree that these young people are an asset to Yellowstone Park. They are friendly, hard working, and polite.

This season, the company that shall remain nameless, over hired staff. It seems that last season, they didn't have enough employees, so they went gang busters this year. We over floweth with help. A lot of people have only been getting 3 days of work every week.

Employees in housekeeping and the kitchens have been offered an early out if they leave by the end of June. That means that they can still get their $3 a day bonus for completing their contract. Obviously, that didn't work.

The solution to this problem? The Asian employees are being terminated. They have already paid for their round trip tickets and you know what happens when you try to change them....additional costs. They also haven't been here long enough to make much money to cover the costs.

There have been tears and disappointments, yet they are too polite to complain.

I debated about posting this, but then...what the hey. I haven't told any of the managers about my blog. Didn't seem like a wise move. I'm not world famous, yet, so there seemed no danger of this showing up on CNN. I hear the oil spill is taking up most of their time.

I'm just reporting the news from my little town, my hot bed of intrigue, my home away from home.

Working for one of the companies that have contracts in Yellowstone Park is no different than working for any corporation. The bottom line is profit.

The answer to any concern here is, "But you have the privilege of living in Yellowstone Park for the season. You should be happy." I guess it's just the old hippie in me, but that isn't the best answer or even an answer for that matter.

Well, it is what it is. The wheels of the corporate world keep spinning just like my head.

But I'm going for every bit of fun I can wring out of this place before I leave. We are out of the rainy season and nature calls. Not the bathroom...the nature outside.

Work at 2:30. Back to the room by 11:00. Have I mentioned before that our dorm room smells like a gerbil cage?

Could be a dead yellow bellied marmot under the bed for all I know.

Until tomorrow.

A Perfect Day in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

You may all find this hard to believe, but I have nothing to complain about today. Wait, wait...don't leave me. I know you all get some kind of perverse pleasure in my suffering, but today was the best day ever in Yellowstone Park.

This is my partner in crime, Ken, from Pennsylvania. He works at Mammoth Hot Springs in food service.

Not a career he wishes to pursue, by the way.

He said he would rather pick up bison poop if such a job existed. I feel his pain.

It took me an hour and a half to get to Mammoth. First there was the mandatory bison jam, then a tourist jam (a bear was chasing elks which was worthy of a tourist jam, but too far away for my camera) and then the half an hour wait in the construction zone.

Finally, we took off in Ken's trusty pick-up truck, looking for adventure and food. We headed toward Roosevelt because the interesting wildlife lives in the northern part of the park. That means anything other than bison, the cattle of Yellowstone Park.

Before we left Mammoth, I had to take at least one picture of a baby elk.

The elk are camped out right by the hotel. It gives the security guys fits as tourists have been known to try to ride them. Yipee ki yah!

I'm still looking for that stupid tourist picture that will get me five minutes of fame.

We stopped at Tower Falls which is always impressive.

See the rainbow at the bottom?

Mother Nature was all dressed up today in her jewels.

A big horn sheep posed for us.

That's an antelope, I swear it is.

Lord, I need a better camera!

I could wake up to this every morning.

Not in a tent or anything like that.

What I mean is that this would look great from the porch of my summer cottage. I would be drinking coffee, nibbling on a pastry.....

There is always a bear sighting in this area, so here you go.

Mr. black bear was just ambling down the side of a hill.

We took the northeast exit out of the park and ended up in Cooke City.

Don't you just love Buns N Beds?

How bout them buns on the biker?

This is one end of Cooke City.

This is the other end of Cooke City.

That's all folks!

What do they do when tourist season is over?

Maybe they have snowmobile races down the center of town.

Maybe they stone the town witch.

Maybe they just get stoned.

This isn't really a waterfall...just snow melting and running down the side of a mountain.

And look! There are flowers blooming.

More long horn sheep right outside Mammoth.

So that was my day in Yellowstone Park and it was glorious and sunny and relaxing and fun.

Don't you wish you were me?

Come on...be jealous.

Humor me.

As Groucho Marx said, "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

It doesn't have to be appropriate.

Searching for Number One Son in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

The mission today was to track down the oldest son and see some parts of Yellowstone that I have missed.

Erik son was last seen in the vicinity of Grant Village, which is at the bottom left of Yellowstone Lake.

This son has been known to fall off the radar for months at a time. But for now, the mama is only 20 miles down the road and she has a car.

I am a mother with a mission.

I stopped at the restaurant where he is assistant dining room manager. The cute girls at the hostess desk were more than happy to rat him out. They informed me that he was scheduled to work at 2:00.

With a few hours to kill, I decided to head on down the road to the Lake Hotel.

Now this is a hotel.

It's also the oldest hotel in Yellowstone...built in 1890 I believe.

Can't you see the ladies in their long skirts and the men in their straw hats strolling on the grounds?

And this is the view you get.

At the Old Faithful Inn you get parking lots.

Am I being a traitor? Heck, yes.

The dining room has windows that look out over Yellowstone Lake.

The Old Faithful Inn dining room looks out over a parking lot.

Are you starting to see the differences here?

They were having a wedding when I arrived.

Aren't they sweet?

The Lake Lodge is on the same property.

The lobby is about as lodgey as you can get.

As I drove away, I stopped to take a picture of Yellowstone Lake with the Lake Hotel in the distance.

Another shot of the Lake just because I thought it turned out well.

At last, the mama tracks down her cub.

This is the dining room at Grant Village.

It also has a view of the Lake, not a parking lot.

The hostesses and waiters flocked around me and promised that Erik would be out soon.

It seems he choked on a glass of water at the news I was there.

Here he is looking professional.

It makes a mother proud to see her son working.

I treated myself to a meal at his fine establishment.

It was heaven...a Monte Cristo sandwich followed by ice cream bon bons.

Yum.

When I got back to Old Faithful, Grizzly son suggested that we go for a hike. I'm thinking a mile or two.

We hiked to Mallard Lake.

It was 3.5 miles down this trail. That means 3.5 miles back. That is 7 miles all together.

That means my feet hurt, but I feel quite proud of myself. Until I wake up in the morning. If I can get up in the morning.

Here I am at Mallard Lake. I didn't see any mallards, by the way.

And I didn't see any bears, which is an extremely good thing.

Did I mention that it was 3.5 miles uphill?

Ouch, pant, puff, moan and whine.

I even did some private business in the woods and didn't get my shoes wet. I would say it was a red letter day.

Until tomorrow, remember....I forget what I was going to say.

Twilight Tours in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

This is the famous Yellowstone Bus. We've talked about them before, but you probably slept through that post.

Guests love to take tours on them because they are historic. Well, part of them are. The body is on a Ford frame, but I can't give you more than that since I know nothing about cars.

Roomie wanted to take the Twilight Tour of the geyser basins. I wasn't excited, but I thought, "What the heck. I'm leaving soon."

Here we are, snug as bugs on our bus.

That's Deb on the left and there's the roomie next to her.

We're ready to learn some things.

Then, Jim, the tour guide, suggests that we roll the canvas top back.

Why?

Cause we can, that's why.

It's probably hot and humid where you are.

Notice that we are wearing coats.

Here's my arty shot of our reflections in the rear view mirror.

Notice the hats and scarves.

Summer isn't even a twinkle in Mother Nature's eyes here.

I think this is where she hangs out to play practical jokes on humans.

Two other Yellowstone employees, Ricca and Vicky, took advantage of the open top to snap thousands of pictures of the Park.

One is from Viet Nam and the other from China.

These pants belong to one of the paying guests...a 70 something lady.

Don't think I've seen bells like this since the 60's.

She also had a big floppy hat.

Flower children never die. They just travel to Yellowstone.

I have to mention that at this point, the temperature had dropped to 30 degrees, maybe.

I could only judge by the blue color of my fingers and my running nose.

Tour Guide Jim shared a lovely story with us as we huddled around a hot springs, hoping for some heat. He claimed to have seen a bison stuck in a huge snow drift one winter. No one in the Park interferes with nature, so when he returned to the scene the next morning, the bison was still stuck, and coyotes were chewing on it.

It was still alive while this was happening. Before you despair, I don't believe him for a minute. The Rangers will put a suffering animal out of its misery, so stop crying my sensitive friends. I looked Jim in the eye and promised that if I ever saw him in a similar situation, I'd be sure to let nature take its course.

We, the frozen passengers, started to get a little nervous when the sky turned black.

We went trotting back to the bus, only to realize that without the top up, it didn't make much difference.

Tour Guide Jim finally decided that macho time was over.

I did get one pretty picture of bubbling water in a hot springs.

Before my I lost feeling in my fingers.

Is there a moral to this story? Probably not.

Did I learn anything? Nothing other that I wouldn't go winter hiking with Tour Guide Jim.

That's all from Yellowstone Park, where the good looking men are few and far between and the women don't shave.

Yellowstone Poo Winners Announced

2010-06-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

And the winner of the bison pooh ornament is ........

Drum roll please...........

Almost everyone.

Yellowstone Park is making me a little more soft in the head than usual.

I couldn't decide, so here's what's going to happen.

Linda, who is a friend of Karen's, who I work with, and none of you care about this, so shut up Judy, actually won first prize. She had an exhaustive list of why she should win it.

I could sense her desperation over winning the thing, so I couldn't let her down.

Then there was The Vegetable Assassin, check her out at http://vegetableassassin.blogspot.com/. She scares me a little, so thought I had better send her one just in case she ever leaves Canada and comes to the states with revenge on her mind. Secretly, I love her blog and her nasty little mind.

Then there is Jenny, who works with the hubby. She stood up for me when I was apologizing to him for some bad things I said on my guest blog. So, she should get one. But Jenny can wait until I get back to Ohio. What else is there to do there but wait and drink beer?

And then there is Susan, my high tailing it out of here friend, who left me to return to Georgia and civilization. Maybe she deserves some poo. Piles of poo.

I'm never having a contest again, since I can't decide on a winner and I don't want to leave anyone out. On minimum wage, I can't afford you people.

So, I sent the Assassin an email asking for her address. Linda and Susan must do the same or the poo ain't going anywhere except back to Ohio for my theme tree this year...Poo Poo on Christmas.

Here's my email address....get typing friends....judy.demick@yahoo.com and the poo will be in the mail. I love saying things like "the poo will be in the mail." Sounds like a threat of some kind, doesn't it?

I'm keeping the stinking Old Faithful bookmark for myself.

There may be another post tonight that actually has something to do with Yellowstone... if I leave my room at all. Don't hold your breath cause you turn a very unattractive color when you do and the eyes bulge out.

Later.

Grousing in Yellowstone Park

2010-06-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

Now that my days are numbered in Yellowstone Park, it's time you meet some of the cast of characters here.

Meet Jacqueline from Washington. We first met when she commented on my blog.

As you can see, she is a cute 20 something.

What you can't see are the freckles.

Jacqueline works at the barista at the Old Faithful Inn. She is a vital part of the Inn. If guests can't get their Starbucks wanna be coffee, they can get quite cranky.

Jacqueline kidnapped me yesterday in her pickup truck with the cracked windshield. Her goal is to meet as many people as possible in Yellowstone. She claims that once you are her friend, it is for life. I think I believe her.

If she hangs out with old broads like me, there will be a time limit on the friendship.

I can try to summarize her life to this point, but since we were gabbing a million miles a minute, and I didn't have a tape recorder, some of this may be slightly if not totally wrong. Forgive me J if I mess this up.

J's parents, as she describes them, are Christian hippies. I like that image...a Bible and love beads, maybe? She was home schooled and had completed some college before she graduated from high school.

She's been to Papua New Guinea, not sure why, but it was part of a school trip, I believe.

I got this picture off the internet of some of the locals having a party. J claims that the folks she met there had been cannibals at one time, but not any more. They had stopped 5 or 6 years ago, she told me with her sweet smile. I was thinking that she was going to say 5 or 6 generations ago. This country is not on my bucket list. Stop me from saying my Colonel Sanders list. Too late. Forgive me.

J most currently lived in a tent for six months somewhere in Washington state. She and her friend had to move every week or so as you can only stay in campgrounds for a limited time. No wonder she doesn't mind the dorms. Maybe I should have camped out before I came here.

Her dream job is....hang on friends....to travel to a place where the people do not have a written language so that she can translate the Bible for them. Bless her heart. I mean how many young people do you meet who would even consider this? I wouldn't consider anyplace that didn't have internet, air conditioning and washing machines.

Like I said earlier, we were gabbing and walking down the Lone Star Geyser trail, when we heard this thumping sound that got louder and faster. I have discovered that I am not a runner when danger seems near. My feet froze to the ground.

I was thinking that maybe this is the noise a bear makes charging down a hill going after an afternoon snack.

How would I know? Give me a break!

It turned out to be this bird on a log.

Whew!

My picture wasn't very good, so I copied this from the internet.

It's a sage grouse. The noise it makes is its mating ritual.

The little guy thinks this impresses the ladies.

The question is, did he think one of us looked cute?

He's definitely not my type.

So that's the end of the big adventure. J and I finished our walk and talk and our little scared out of our wits episode. I think we are friends for life.

Just a reminder, the poo ornament contest ends tonight at midnight. I will choose the grand poo bah winner tomorrow afternoon (I work early.) I have some good people in the running, but there's still time to impress me.

Night for now from Yellowstone Park, the place that never sleeps.

Guest Blogging in Yellowstone

2010-06-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

First of all my faithful, friendly, flighty friends (I love alliteration) you need to check out my guest blog at http://www.somewhinewithcheese.com/. Oh, alright, let me explain for those of you who aren't in the exclusive blogging community.

Ahem.

Occasionally, bloggers of great taste ask other bloggers of great taste to do a guest post, so that they can take a holiday from the grueling world of posting every day.

So Laurnie, of "Some Whine With Cheese," wisely asked me to guest post for her, which I did. Check it out and seriously, become one of Laurnie's followers as she has a quality blog. Actually, she has a ton of followers, so if you want to spend more time on my blog, I wouldn't complain.

This message is for hubby, but the rest of you can listen if you want. Hubby....ahhhh.....shuffle, shuffle, I sort of said some bad, or sort of bad, things about you on my guest blog. I implied that you are a control freak, which sounds like I'm complaining, and actually, being in control isn't bad, and you're so cute when you think you're in control, cause no one really has control, but it's o.k. cause I'm sort of used to it and I'm not plotting anymore how to hide your body in the woods, so if I hurt your feelings you know that I was just trying to be funny and went too far, and really, being in control is good, not in control of me of course, but in control of the car and yourself and things like that, and maybe I'll just shut up now.

I'm sorry and can I still come home?

Now, for some Yellowstone Park information, since Yellowstone is supposed to be my topic. It didn't rain today! When I went out this morning, it was foggy. So foggy, that when Old Faithful erupted, this is how it looked.

I could hear it, sort of like waves on the beach.

Everything looked different in the fog.

I was just hoping that the bison and bears weren't using the fog as a cover to leap out at me.

I felt quite brave, but in reality my head was darting back and forth, imagining all kinds of danger lurking out there.

A Western Blue Bird, posed for me, which I thought was sweet.

So I took several pictures for his portfolio.

Which do you think is his best side?

Remember, the big contest is over Wednesday night. Don't miss out on your chance to win a bison poo Christmas ornament. Just tell me why you have to have it. Come on....you know you want it. Don't let good taste get in your way. It's never stopped me.

I even got a comment from the people at http://www.dunganddunger.net/ who make the bison poo items. They are going to be in Yellowstone this summer displaying some of their finer works of art.

You all should do your Christmas shopping with them this year. Don't you want your gifts to be memorable? Cousin Harvey won't re-gift them to Cousin Marvin cause word gets around about unique items like this.

Tomorrow, I will introduce you to my friend Jacqueline, and there will be some mystery bird pictures. A bird actually scared me silly, but more about that later. Until then, remember who loves you.

Yellowstone aka Water World

2010-06-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

I'm posting early today for two reasons. One, I work until 10:45 tonight and just won't feel like talking to any of you, no matter how nice you are, and two, it's RAINING AGAIN!

Planning a trip to Yellowstone Park? Don't even think about coming here until July.

Here are the Yellowstone employees making their way to work.

O.K., I didn't take this picture. I snagged it from the internet.

But it really does look like this. I'm just not standing out there in the rain waiting for people on bicycles to go by. Forgive me.

Here's the big news for today.

I'm about 5 minutes from being famous. Actually, I'm not going to be famous at all, but I had a brush with it. Before I left on this adventure, I sent my story to "The Story with Dick Gordon" at NPR. I love National Public Radio. I want to write for them, hang out with them, make them all my best friends.

This is Dick Gordon.

Everyone at NPR is handsome/beautiful, intelligent, successful....guess that's why I'm not working there.

I only have 2 out of 3 of the qualifications.

Anywho....the producer of the show, Christina Smith, called me to see if my story would be of any interest.

I know I won't have a chance if she discovers my fascination with bison poo.

There's no place on NPR for bison poo stories unless it has something to do with saving the environment.

Sorry, got side tracked a little.

But she called and we talked and bonded, at least on my side of the phone, and ......I don't have a chance in Hell of getting on that show.

I checked out their latest stories. Here's my competition.

A 94 year old woman is running for the U.S. Senate. When she was 90, she walked across the country to lobby for finance reform. I walked two hours one day? Does that count?

The National Youth Orchestra of Jamaica is for at-risk youth and currently holds rehearsals in the danger zone. I've walked in the woods where there might be bears and I whistled a little tune. I could also be considered an at-risk senior citizen. I could go bonkers anytime.

See what I mean? I'm a 61 one year old social worker, working the front desk at the Old Faithful Inn who wants to smother her roommate in the night. Touching, moving, life changing....? I think not.

I couldn't come up with any epiphany to make the experience more memorable. I didn't have a vision or hear voices telling me what my true mission in life might be. I got nada, zilch, crapola.

I'll let you all know when I get rejected. At least I have talked to someone from NPR which really doesn't make me feel any better, but let a smile be your umbrella in soggy Yellowstone Park.

Now about that contest I'm having. Two people. TWO PEOPLE have responded. I have no problem dividing the poo and the bookmark between them, but doesn't anyone else want a chance to win these valuable prizes? Don't even worry about explaining why you want the poo ornament. Just post a comment saying you want the damn thing.

Gotta slosh to lunch, so Judy here in Yellowstone Park aka Water World, signing off.

Contest time in Yellowstone Park: Poo for You

2010-06-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

Surprise, surprise! It rained again today in Yellowstone Park.

I went for a walk around the Old Faithful Geyser Basin in between downpours.

I noticed that there were some new trees down.

It would seem that the roots are very shallow as there isn't any real dirt here, just obsidian. The wind blows, the ground is wet and thar she goes.

I know how these trees feel. My roots are pretty shallow and damp at the moment.

No one warned me that May in Yellowstone is Winter, June is Spring and about the time I leave, Summer arrives.

I did manage to see a few more geysers...

This is Grotto Geyser...

This is the Morning Glory Pool.

There is a sad story here.

The colors are fading because people are throwing items into it.

The pool is at the end of a path and not many people walk far enough to see it.

I guess that gives them the idea that throwing coins or rocks into it is acceptable.

Sigh. Humans are disgusting creatures at times.

Since I couldn't dig up much trouble today, I decided it was time to run my contest for the bison poo Christmas ornament.

Do I sense some excitement?

Let me read you the description on the back. Ahem.

"Buffalo Poop Holiday Ornament"
This ornament is molded with real buffalo dung paper pulp, hand-decorated with two authentic "Jingle-Berries"and adorned with yarn made from real bison hair. The defecation decoration.

Want to visit the web site? www.dunganddunger.com

Isn't that adorable? Dung and dunger. Wish I had thought of that.

There is a runner-up prize.

A magnetic book mark with Old Faithful on it.

I'm sure you all want the ornament, but someone has to be a runner-up.

Here's the deal. In the comments section, tell me why you deserve the buffalo poop ornament and reassure me that it will have a valued spot on your tree.

After I pick the grand prize winner, the rest of your names will go in a hat and I will draw for the book mark.

You have until Wednesday midnight to convince me that this ornament will go to a good home.

And nut lady...you know who you are...you don't have to enter cause I'm bringing you one anyway.

Let me know you're out there. I know you're reading even if you don't comment. I have telepathic powers. And I do want to hear from you. It gets lonely here in the wilderness.

Time to wring out my clothes and brush the mildew off my shoes. Ta ta for now.