Ying L

可以吗

2012-01-07T14:40:00.001+08:00

启程-Again

2012-01-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

Tml this time i will be freezing at ChongQing, holding up my lappy and crying over the warm weather in Singapore. Yes, i'm flying again, after about five weeks of staying in Singapore, i'm going back to my home town in China in less than nine hours time. Probably this is going to be my last time sitting in this room blogging and enjoying the peace. I'm not VERY sad, but just a little lost. After all i have been staying in Sembawang for over seven years i guess? And this will be my final goodbye to blk 351b.

This time round i didn't really had much meet up with my old friends. It's understandable that everyone is busying with their personal life and school. It doesn't matter the quantity of meetup but the quality of it. I'm already very happy to be even seeing their faces and just to catch up with them.

Overall i'm satisfied with my short stay here, most of the time have been working and occupying myself which is good, so that i don't have to slack at home everyday and find myself doing nothing. But that's probably what i will be doing in CQ :/ But i'm quite excited for the meet up now, perhaps i just hack care of what is going to happen, whatever. Also i'd like to film more and mostly taking videos over both of the modern and old CQ city and making them into a short video clip, that would be so interesting ^^

OK signing off for now, perhaps for a little while cos most probably won't be able to login to youtube blogger facebook twitter and anything u can think of... sucks! suck big time -.-!

Odd or old ?

2012-01-03T01:37:00.001+08:00

Just now when I clicked into weibo and saw this new MSG popes out by my china pri sch friend. It was a invitation for a old friends meet up kind of thing. Ya I know, china pri sch friend sounds so damn long ago. It is! But somehow most of us Still has lots of feelings attached to the school which is quite surprising too. Anyways , I was curious to whom he had invited and how does them look like so I clicked into their profile and realized ......

Woah.... They have changed so much! Perhaps it's normal to have this feeling too since I was away right after pri4 and skipped for what ? Ten over years of contact and only had the kids memories for them . But now. The thing is I don't even remember many of them whom he had invited. Maybe I don't even know them, that's possible too. They always said that cq girls are pretty and hot! Not saying I am here! I was long ago disconnected from that city -.- I wasn't aware of the fact until recent years when I go back, yea a lot of pretty girls in my city.. Maybe as compared to Singapore and other city they are more focus on their looks instead of other stuff . But I just felt so out! Literally so out! I want to meet up and see how's everyone doing and chat along abt the past but... I'm so scared that things won't even turn out to what I want and become a drinking section and the conversation is not at all what I know abt . Also cos I know nuts abt their life ever since I left. It's controversial and mixed feeling. Yes I am kinda down to see omg they are so pretty and skinny. Literally from the physical appearance I am alr out. But more of the inside maybe I have grown too "outside" and not belong to there anymore. Though I have said this a thoundsNd And one times already, it can't deny the fact and I shall truly just stay out of china and never go ban lol

My New Years Resolutions for 2012

2011-12-31T13:35:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of 2011 and i know i had just blog about my 2011 experiences in the last post for less than 12 hours probably... Anyways i'm really excited to share about my 2012 new years resolutions, most importantly it's like a goal for myself to achieve in this new coming year. I had never done this before so i had no idea if i will be able to keep up and stick to my resolutions. I always find people who did resolutions a little bit stupid and pointless if they are not going to stick on to their goals and just for the sake of making it and making it. Hence i hope i won't turn out to be that way and yea my goals shall be as realistic as possible for myself to achieve at least.

1) Get into psychological science course in UQ!
2) keep myself organise and track done every possible things on my schedule book!
3) Stick on to my to do list! (DO NOT GIVE UP EASILY!)
4) Work harder on my studies and aim to score at least 6 on every subject
5) Only think of things other than studies until i had graduated from IES and make my way to UQ
6) Find out more about course information and plan out how to get PR and be prepared
7) Must improve on english through reading, talking to non-chinese speaking people, watching english films
8) Learn at least one new English word per day
9) No last minuet work
10) Take time to read regularly
11) Express thoughts and write regularly
12) Give compassion to those less fortunates
13) Listen to people's advice for self upgrading
14) Be kinder and more forgiven to whoever surrounding me be it friends or "enemy"
15) Be more understanding and respect on people's decision and way of lifestyle
16) Always sort out misunderstandings on the day itself, calmly
17) Care less about people's harsh comments or viewpoint, it doesn't matter
18) Always think of "enjoying" the good outcome while doing "hating" things
19)Stick to self morel, do things smartly
20) Control my emotions! Do not exaggerate!
21) Be more observant and sensitive
22) Be more positive and diligent
23) Control money spend, only buy necessaries
24) Bring LQ around for holidays in Brisbane
25) Spend more time with mommy in Brisbane
26) Send postcard or letters to friends and families regularly
27) Decorate the house as pretty and as hommie as possible
28) Motivated on keeping the room and toilet clean and organise
29) Live peacefully and happily with Ah pooh- always stand in people's shoe before making decision
30) Keep our home (not house) clean and organise
31) Always plan out what to eat beforehand and stick on to it as closely as possible
32) Live healthy : eat, exercise, sleep
33) Get a part time job during holidays and earn my own pocket money
34) Making youtube videos regularly, be a partner (passion and motivation )
35) Get a driving licences at the end of the year
36) Rent a piano, make sure to sustain this extra expenses ON MY OWN
37) Meet up for bible studies more regularly
38) Reach out to more people and expand friend circle
39) Sick on to at least 70 percent of this 2012 resolutions!!!
40) REWARD MYSELF ON A TRIP OR A NICELY DESIGN PRODUCT!!!!!!!!

Phewwwwww i spent about one and half hour doing this resolution! It's serious!
Anyways.....

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
The word is not gonna end until the day you give up on your own world

2011

2011-12-31T01:13:00.001+08:00

Today is the last day of 2011. Refreshing of what had happened during this year.

Jan- o level result releasing. Truly it was so scary to know the results. Luckily it was up to my expectation , for once. Yea.

Feb- hectic and chaotically went to new zealand. Went to school and withdraw from the school. Had my first earthquake experience and I nearly thought I might died over there. I'm serious and very serious!

March- June went to work at Starbucks and continue doing visa for Australia. The feeling of endless waiting is making me so sick and lost and sad and all the negative thoughts that could literally included in. This kind of hopeless hope is different from why had happened in nz. Over there I had no choice but to be strong, but over here even if I want to do something I just can't .

July- finally on the 26th of July 2011 I stepped out of Singapore once again . Direct flight to Brisbane . Lucky and luckier . I had my best and freest life experiences over there. I'm so glad to meet all of the friends in ies. If not for them , my life in aus could be tragic ad well.

Aug- oct literally didn't do any serious study at all ! I had never been so slack for so long ! And totally just had no mood to study! All I can think of is to how to enjoy more

Nov- maybe its time to settle down and do some serious work. Although its not really productive but overall the result is not as bad as I could think of.

Dec- came back to chill out with my old friends. Work hard to earn enough money for my future home deco . Kill my desire for shopping and get back to my normal earn urself spend urself routine. It's hard but it's satisfying .

I think I scored about 6.7 marks out of 10. Most of the credit goes to the experienced in nz. The extras are my lack of motivation on studies and thinking of all those things that are not suppose to be done. I need sometime to think of my 2013 new year resolution. Had never done this before so I shall really take some time to think seriously.

Insipiration

2011-12-27T21:16:00.001+08:00

Another self declare slacking day at home today. Slept till about 1 pm and went to AMK hub trying to get myself a nicely designed sketchbook for my travel documents collection. However, i have been looking around in the same shop for nearly 30mins but still couldn't find anything suitable. Disappointed and went home with a magazine. lol Had not been reading fashion magazines for a long period of time, missing those fun experiences.

After coming back, playing sims3 for a while, social networking for another while, movie drama for a little more while ... until now... i'm seriously damn bored and couldn't think of anything else to do already. Maybe today i'm a little down or maybe it's because i didn't get my notebook :< Anyway i'm just feeling a little down and the feeling of doing nothing productive makes me feel so sick. Or maybe also because i was alone at home all day long, had never had this experience for a long time ever since i had came back for holidays, since mom is always at home and accompanying me... And i had been keeping myself occupy by working and trying to make myself busy to stay away from this moodiness. I was pretty productive at this at least, this i didn't get this bad until today lol. Not THAT bad, but just kinda.. u know..

I have always been watching Elle and Blair's videos on youtube. Their cheerfulness always lighten me and motivates me somehow. I felt like they are my friends somehow, silly though. I'm sure they have their not so good days as well, but they always presenting themselves in their best shape in front of the camera and the way they carry out their speech to is always optimistic and idk just makes me feel good and motivated! Yea, other than the always positive thinking, i'm also so jealous of their family. Just doing simple little things but it's always loving and fun to be tgt which i had been dreamt of but it's sad i don't. Or perhaps i shall say that they are the very few lucky ppl who is fortunate enough to have this kind of loving happy living environment. I'm not complaining, i'm already so lucky as compare to many. This is just a little saddy part of my not so perfect life.

Don't wanna think of anything

2011-12-26T13:28:00.000+08:00

Another raining day

2011-12-23T13:09:00.001+08:00

Its raining, cooling, slacking at home day~~~ Ytd went to collect pay at Orchard and Fort Canning hotel, adding up the pay from M hotel, i had earned enough for my new bed :> clapclap!!

Tml working on the Christmas eve, pay will increase to 8 bucks per hour in addition to the next three working days i should be able to earn enough for my mattress as well. This is kinda exciting for having to earn for my own things and not to ask parents for it. However, left with the other things such as fridge, washing machine, study table, chair and dining table and chairs... i need to have ... hmmm probably another 700 AUD -.-
That's quite a huge sum though, but with the interest i earned from the bank shall clear up some of it.

Finally i'm sleeping normal for these few days, it's nice and refresh to have good sleep after all. I only left with two weeks in Singapore. Haven't meet many of the friends yet and i didn't done much other than working. Shall save up some time for meet up and Malaysia trip.

Ouch!

2011-12-21T01:54:00.002+08:00

I have problems for sleeping lately :( look at the time right now, i'm sure it's about one plus two am but as the later it goes i tend to get more excited and i just couldn't sleep! How horrible that is to stay up for the whole night and wondering oh man... when can i fall asleep... when?!?! Maybe not the whole night, but like yesterday i was sleeping in the five star hotel- Marina Bay Sand, with that super comfy bed, yea.. i just can't! I thought i was too excited by then, but now i realised it's my own problem.. i tend to get sleepy at about 8 or 9 pm, and i fell asleep on the train just now on the way back home. And then, once it passes mid-night, woah, every single cell in my body starts to vibrate and boil all over the place like nobody's business...

Anyway, since i could't sleep i shall just enjoy the darky feel and write a blog post. I went to the MBS sky park to swim today. Awesome shit every! It was so beautiful! That swimming pool its just... no words to describe... Took some pictures and it started to rain and so on, but i still enjoy the view very much and it was just purely beautiful..

Another thing, maybe i shall talk about my new job as the banquet waitress. It's not really my type of thing, but for the sake of money and to experience a little more, i choose to stay on. It wasn't said difficult, but just a little bit nervous at first. Sometimes i really do want to laugh at myself, when i went to all these dinners, i don't even know how to take the fish properly. It was always my mom's job-.- Yea, i know.. what a useless baby... Whatever, i just don't like to poke the fish and make it so gross that nobody dares to touch it after that. Being nice its not my fault :p But i finally kinda overcome this problem and i even learn to cut the fish in front of those guests..WAHAHA so 有成就感～～

Other than the normal working environment issue which i get almost every single time other than the flower shop. Don't want to mention it too much. It's nice to stand out and do these sorts of part time job in student time and try to experience as much as i can so as to earn and learn something from it. Nobody will wants to do this when they graduate and make it as their proper job right..

Anyway, i dont really have anything to write anymore and probably i should just go and force myself to sleep? Nights.

oh btw, just re-watched 潜行追击, everytime Michael and Paris came out my heart will start to popopopopop non stop... it was so awesome and incredibly nice show!! thumbs upupupupupup!

“不不”惊心？

2011-12-16T12:12:00.004+08:00

昨晚终于在凌晨1点多把这35集的电视剧看完了。。。终于看完了。。。
该如何评论，怎么说起呢。。。

早前是因为看到网络太多好评才开始关注这部戏，可是就在剧集开始没多久我就已经失去了大半的兴趣，不过碍于好评实在太多，而且已经看到这不上不下的程度，决定还是把它看完吧。这样拖拖拉拉就从澳洲看回了新加坡。昨晚一口气看了5集，实在不是我的作风，不过总算有个了结了。

前面我一直觉得片子特效做的太假了，在2011年这种制片技术我实在不敢恭维。其次不说，整个主人公的感情故事我是真的没怎么被感动到。说真的，一部好看的片子会引领观众进入或者说是侵入主人公的思想和感情，有时候更会让观众沉淀在其中。。。不过在这，至少我没被打动。与其说我喜欢这部片，不如说我被它的大环境所骗进来，哈哈。喜欢历史，特别喜欢清朝历史的我，再加上穿越这种有点老土的俗套环节，就这样懵懵懂懂的撞入其中。

说了那么多的负面情绪，其实它也有一些好看之处。剧情围绕着若曦，四爷，八爷，十，十三和十四爷。其中女主角并不是我喜欢的类型，而且感觉她太纠结了，说不清的矛盾和自以为是，太辛苦。四爷面如冰霜，冷漠的可以也不是我的菜。八爷－我是打心底的喜欢，也许他的庄重和温柔没有多少人能抵抗。历史任务中，英雄难过美人关的有不少，多尔衮也是我很喜欢的一个人物。不过不同与八爷的是，多尔衮可以为了心爱的人放弃江山，不过八贤王不会。他爱美人，但更爱他的江山。也许是他的野心太强，最终在众阿哥面前接连惨败，最后在康熙面前也不得厚爱，曾经才华出众的八贤王最终落得削去所有爵位，在冰冷的牢房里死去。他曾经得到过，但也最终失去一切。这样的下场让我看到好心寒，争夺皇位是残酷残忍可怕的，可能就像他们自己说的那样，成王败寇，立场不同而已，最终的结局都是自己的选择。虽说如此，但还是有点心痛呢，因为他是才贸出众，又气质非凡的八阿哥～。～

十阿哥，感觉稍微有点智障，哈哈说笑，无心机的这么一个陪曾的角色，结局却是最好的。应该也是他的这种无威胁所以雍正才放过他吧。拼命十三郎，是个很潇洒很爽朗的角色。被幽静了大好男儿的十年光阴，落下一身病痛，不过却是很潇洒的挥之脑后。十四，是唯一一个娶到若曦为侧福晋的人物。虽说只是名义上的夫妻，但之后才知道他一直是处于退让和牺牲的那一方。看到她和八爷好，他真心的祝福与开心。本身是真正的皇帝，却被自己的亲哥哥夺走皇位。最被康熙宠爱只可惜造化弄人，康熙和亲额娘驾崩时他都不在场。说四爷狠心吧，他还真的是狠。对自己的亲兄弟可以残忍到如此地步。但自古称帝者谁人不是这么狠，无毒不丈夫，没有强忍的意志力又怎能掌管一个国家。都只是立场问题，可悲也就恰恰在此。

与其说当它是部爱情片，更吸引我的是他们的兄弟情，和像吸铁般吸引他们的那个高处不胜寒的皇位。特别是八爷临死前那淡然一笑，似早已经放下一切的坦然。为什么喜欢清朝，我也不知道，只知道总是有一些故事牵引着我陷入其中无法自拔。说到历史，读过一些书，也了解其中一二，但更多的我想都是野史哈哈读了也忘了不过有展览我总是去的，昨晚突然好想好想又去一趟北京，再去一次紫禁城。不过碍于人潮凶猛，每一次去都有无数的讨厌吆喝的底陪在耳边嚷嚷，让我实在不敢恭维。如果能穿越？哈哈如果。。。希望就能回去那么一天？也许几天。。好奇心实在不能抵挡。。

First timer

2011-12-15T14:43:00.000+08:00

Went to work with Liuqian, Val.T., Quinne at Fort Canning Hotel yesterday night. I was kinda nervous as i don't really know what to do or what to expect from this new job. Yea, obviously, being a waitress you are suppose to serve the customers and everything but i had never serve in a restaurant before. Some more it's a wedding yesterday @.@

The person in charge do know that i'm a first timer, hence he gave me the easiest job as to serve drinks only. Basically i just have to walk around and pour drinks to the customers until the end of the event.

Those other waitress were so young! Literally so freaking young! They were like 16 years old only.. And freaking skinny! I'm so depress right now.. lol anyways, what a coincidence,one of our primary school mate was also working down there. Initially i didn't reconise him at all! Until liuqian walked over and said to me "isn't that Wangzhuo!" Then i was like, huh, really meh.... But yea -.- he is....

Before that on the way to walk was raining cats and dogs and i only had this freaking small umbrella that can't really fit Liuqian and i... While we reached the hotel we were already half wet... Which leads to after work we were have to wear the same wetty clothes home.. godsh...

Luckily on the way back there were lots of seats so i don't have to stand all the way back to SBW... which is like the Banyo of Brisbane-.-

I slept at about 2am last night. I woke up looking like a walking dead zombie, swollen eyes and swollen body... I think i can grow some muscles after this job.. lol

My heart skips a beat

2011-12-13T00:35:00.001+08:00

谢谢你喜欢我
也谢谢你尊重我的选择

我们可以一直是好朋友的真的
Be happy :)

@Singapore

2011-12-10T22:47:00.001+08:00

12月4号乘坐新航从布村返回到新加坡，在飞机上一度昏睡过去，实在是太困。也是那是突然被嘟嘟一语惊醒：原来矮的好处，真的不错。大概7个半小时的飞行，我都是捐在椅子上睡的，而且是超舒服的姿势哈哈。但是腿稍微再长一点就大概不行了，我顿时在想那些180的个子的是要多么的不舒服，有点小邪恶的说。。

抵达樟宜机场后，陪嘟嘟去办理了转机签证，然后一起去MBS CHECK IN。那座酒店真的不是盖的。。。真的是超级漂亮无敌大啊。。。如此羡慕的我口水要流出来～。～这辈子没住过这么豪华的酒店过。。。电梯也是超级快，特别是降落时，怎么感觉比free fall还快呢？

把他安顿好后就立即回家，冲凉，收拾东西，休息，然后又冲出来坐地铁all the way to city hall to find him.其实老实说我是真的超累了，不过既然朋友远道而来还是有必要要行主人之礼的。去MBS楼下的吃饭，点了挺多Local food，然后去附近走走，拍拍照。。。我也是回来时候才发现原来新加坡这么漂亮啊。。以前在这里了那么久，也许是麻木了，也许是根本没去在意，总之回来后才发现了这么多的不同。

回家冲凉后直接倒在床上睡死过去

第二天起来后忙着unlock手机，买卡，几经波折终于搞定了之后再带他去坐摩天轮。话说这已经是我第N次坐了，不过都是白天的，有点小郁闷。后来我们就一起去克拉码头吃螃蟹。无招牌真是无敌的贵，也不知道那餐吃了到底多少，不过肯定是一个字-贵-就对了。饭后闲聊了好多，各种爆料啊哈哈原来我也是那么八卦，偶尔偶尔

隔天休息好之后，终于去ochrum park见到刘茜和贱男！！见到老朋友的感觉真是无限好～废话还是一大堆。不过看到昔日的胖牛变到现在这个瘦模样实在是。。。gross shit！ LOLLLL 把我刺激太大，吃饭都是沙拉让我实在很难堪 ~.~

后来一起去Cathy看那些年，话说这部戏实在有够红的，从上映到现在也有一段时间了，可是还是场场爆满，我们被迫坐第一排，还是甘愿。然后就不想太detail了，因为我又一次被感动，感触刺激神经大脑细胞。

“人生本来就是有很多事是徒劳无功的，但是我们还是依然要经历”
“被你喜欢过，很难觉得，别人有那么喜欢我”
“常常听人家说啊，恋爱最美好的时候就是暧昧的时候。等到真正在一起了，很多感觉，就会消失不见。。。”
“真羡慕他们啊。谢谢你喜欢我。”“我也很喜欢当年喜欢你的我”
“那我就继续幼稚下去咯”“一定要哦”
。。。。。。。。。

也许这部电影如此之爆红的原因，也在于了它反映出了我们的青春，事实那么真实。好多东西，确实就如同这些台词说的那样。我们再一次把自己的情绪迁入剧里的人物，但是却好像又是反映出了另一面的自己。

后来又有好多思绪缠绕我的脑，一些事我现在不知道该怎么办，i need some time to think about... 不是我爱乱想，只是我觉得每件事都要思考清楚才会是对自己对人对事物的一种责任态度。而且我喜欢会把它们想清楚，不想糊里糊涂的做一些事，然后后悔。现在的人生理念不过是所有的选择都是自己所做，敢做就要敢承担后果。任何事情都是这样，所以想清楚后再去行动不是正确的吗？

妈呀，又是从一个轻松话题慢慢转移到严肃了。为什么我每次讲话都这样，重点自己写东西也可以这样。。是要有多感性。。。也许天生就是这样的性格，我喜欢发白日梦，喜欢音乐，喜欢画画，喜欢艺术，喜欢历史，喜欢一切不是那么按部就班的生活，喜欢享受。。。就是这样。。。这些就是所谓的不想改变，我喜欢这样。

熬了一夜昨晚，现在貌似有那么一点点倦意，睡了吗？

Count Down

2011-12-01T19:02:00.001+08:00

Hehehehehehehehehehe, i am coming back people~~~~~~~
Can't wait to your faces....

Will be staying in SG until 7th Jan 2012, then will be celebrating CNY in China, finally... Had never spend time with my family on CNY for NINE YEARS ALREADY! Anyway, although i think CNY is not much of a big deal, but having reunion dinner with the close ones is always a good feeling...

Ever since i came to Australia, i felt that my usage of English has constantly drop to average level, this is extremely annoying and frustrating... I really really do want to improve my English and that is one of the key factor for me to come here! But, it didn't help at all i guess... Really frustrating...

Maybe i should continue to attend bible studies in 2012 @.@
I think i'm sinful in every way @..@

Kaykay, gonna study for tml's math exam...
See u soon!

For you

2011-11-26T09:54:00.001+08:00

I can't ask more for a friend like you, for always standing by my side...
We might be physically far apart from each other, but our hearts are always close...
This sounds so wrong but, oh well, who cares? I don't at least...

I'm such a lucky person to have the best mom in the entire world, to have some awesome friends, to have a pretty stable but a little flaws life... To be loved and taken care by so many...

I wont deny the fact that i like to complain here and there, but i knew deep inside my heart that i am a lucky person... I should appreciate more about the things i have and all those other nonsenses doesn't matter any more...

How amazing the feeling is to always have someone who can support you no matter what? And, surprisingly for people like me, i had more than one... Sometimes i thought i was never good enough for having all these amazing people around me...

So how much more should i ask for?

Turning point

2011-11-22T20:38:00.001+08:00

Two days ago went to sign the official contract of our new house with Ah pooh and Brandon :) Super excited to have our little home build up and move in!!!
Can't wait to call in friends for party and gathering!! And of course Mahjong!! Simon is going to love it ttm! Haha, in many ways i think he is very similar to Laozhou... such a coincidence.. lol

Went to the state library with Ah pooh and Brandon these few days to study. The weather was extremely hot these two days! It was so uncomfortable to stay at home to study, as comparison, the state library was like heaven to us, or at least to me... Huge tables without many people occupying, beautiful river view, most importantly AIR CON!!!!!!

Damn, i totally fall in love with this place! Got feel...

Tried to cook seaweed soup the other day, it was totally not bad i think... Had chicken wing with potatoes and the soup for dinner today, was so yummmy :)))

Gonna work harder for exam!!
And Singapore, friends, I'M COMING BACK ~~~~WoooOHOOooo~~~~

totally screwed

2011-11-19T19:41:00.001+08:00

Very very disappointed at my results! I know i have been slacking all over the place ever since i came here. School was not tough at all, with a few hours of lesson everyday, mostly 4hours in average. I lived in the city, so i don't have to travel far to school everyday. Wasted tons of time doing nothing instead of studying....

When i thought i could score well for bm plan, like literally i really have high hope on this, but it's screwed! It's so bloody screwed! Not failed... but totally out of my expectation...

Understand that i am never those cleaver kids in class who don't really have to study but can scored well, but i'm hating myself for letting in excuses endlessly.. I know it's pointless by throwing out of my frustrations here if i'm not going to do anything about it.

Out of all of these craps, one thing i have learnt or discovered about myself.. finally.. is that i don't take the initiative to blame everything else but myself. It's me myself who has letting this happened.. It's all because of my own choices and actions... it's nobody's fault but myself..

Where is all those motivation from o's? Its been gone long long time ago... When everything appeared to be nice and comfy, slackness broke it's way through...

I thought i could handle and be responsible about myself for living alone.. But apparently i got a long way to grow and reflect about what i have done so far. I wanted freedom, and thought that i have the capability to take care of myself.. But the reality is, it's kinda fucked up...

I don't eat well, don't drink enough, don't sleep well, don't study well.... one thing i'm pretty good at is: enjoy and spend money! Haha... really good!

I'm feeling so guilty and sorry to everyone whose been caring about me and worst, i let down Steve, my bm teacher... He was actually one of my favorite teacher in IES. I can still remembered the first time he looked at our business plan and really had high expectation on us.. But, we failed him... I'm really really so disappointed... words can't express my feeling towards this issue

I'm not down because of the poor marks i got, but because i'm letting everyone else down... And i knew it's going to be happen in this way, but i still let it happened anyway.. What the hell is wrong with me! I seriously want to slap myself sometimes for doing stupid things and the feeling is complicated. I am not exactly sure how to explain, i think i have the responsibility to handled whatever consequences for my own doing... I learnt not to complain anymore, but at the same time i am making the same mistakes over and over again..

Anyway, all of these is crap and rubbish anymore since nothing could change and exams in one week time. Whatever that is, i am preparing for exams. So screwed all the parties, gatherings and slackings....

FOCUS!!!

Be healthy, Be happy

2011-11-13T14:31:00.001+08:00

Have been wanting to go jogging for a really really long time, I bought my track shoe i think a month ago but had never used it before. Finally yesterday i got the chance of using it. Met Brandon and Vi at about 530PM at south bank, the edge, Brandon and I went to jog for about 30mins. It feels soooo good i swear!
Exercise can always released stress, a lot of things ran through my brain while running along the Brisbane riverside. I saw mangrove tree, makes me remembered what we have learnt in Geo.

The weather is getting hotter and hotter each day, the sun is burning down on my skin while i was walking passed the victoria bridge.

(unfinished)

似是而非

2011-11-09T21:33:00.001+08:00

我只是觉得现在比以前活的自由很多，放的开很多，顾虑少很多，轻松很多。

可是偶尔静下来还是会很怀念以前的日子，人，和事。非常俗套的一段话，可是却是很真实。现在常常忽然会发梦回以前，自己很在乎的人，但是都貌似不是很好的梦。是没安全感还是怎样，总是觉得很遥不可及，很难的感觉。

我现在回想起在YCKSS的时光，觉得突然自己身在好远，事实也是。突然老了好多，变了好多。不光光是自己，周围的人也是。感叹那时记得自己也曾说过，虽然现在准备考试超级烦，压力大。不过以后肯定会很怀念这段时光。就如同我现在在说这些，以后去了UQ可能也很怀念foundation的日子是一样的道理。不过在YCK有5年诶。。。这期间自己又变化了多少，同时期的人事物也跟着自己在成长的过程是很难被忽略掉的。现在自己一个人呆在属于自己的apartment里面，我真的觉得好远。。。

现在好想好想好想就回去那么一天，就一天，跟大家在一起疯啊闹的。。。其实我们也是有很多回忆的，才发现。但是凝聚力也就那么一刻，散了就散了，现在各走各方，不是要死命抓住些什么，不过就是有些遗憾和难过。但是就是这么纠结的说，life is all about moving on....

很纠结，很矛盾，很无奈的就是自己的性格就是这样

good night

T.I.M.E

2011-11-05T22:08:00.001+08:00

时间的抽屉

留不住记忆的碎片

怀念钢琴的尾音

只是残念

I'm coming back soon~

2011-11-04T20:44:00.002+08:00

Time flies huh? It's almost time for me to pack up and come back to singapore! Wooohooo... so excited to see you people's face!! Anyway, before the happy time, there's always a price to pay...

Exams are coming!

This week i was almost exhausted and dawned by all the assignments! I didnt' get any proper sleep for the entire week! Firstly was Business presentation and final plan submission, followed by English research essay, then Research Arts final four essay! Damn! All of them were due by this week! This is totally insane! But to be honest, its my own fault for letting this to happen...

I was soooooo slack at the beginning of the semester and never really pay attention to the lesson, never really revise and forever doing last min work! Lesson to be learnt, oh well, always saying this... Never ever ever ever do it again!

Anyway exams are coming, so i dont think i will be giving myself any more excuses for not studying and especially there's pretty much nothing exciting happening around... the hypo feeling is now gone... So it's the prefect timing to be focus!

So far, behavioural science lesson was the most interesting subject ever! We got to watch videos and see what kind of experiment and hypothesis and result of those experiments researches have done... Not only that, we got to learn about how our brains worked and why people behave in certain ways... Although we have to do essays and reports and come out with our own experiment and hypothesis, the most annoying things every! However, i still enjoyed the class very much! Rosalie is a kind teacher, i love her lesson! Next week, we will be watching the movie: A beautiful mind. Heard that it was a famous movie, about schizophrenia ---oh well, have to google out the word.... -.-

Anyway, im really looking forward to the next lesson! Also, i am! I AM going to revise and study this week and do well for my final exams! And then happily coming back to see you people's faces !!!
WAHAHAHAH

Excited, i know u are!!!
LOL

PS: It feels soooooooooooo good to have a good sleep after all!

xoxo
bye!

NOT ASKING FOR MORE!!!

2011-10-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

just want to complain a bit... had an awesome birthday with friends just now...
but now , kinda annoyed and feel like throwing some invisible anger to this blog!

was wanting to get an iphone4s for quite a while since my bb is breaking down! like seriously breaking down! i know im a tech freak, always wanting new phones, ipad, macbook pro, dslr... none of them is cheap! i know! but somehow i just bloody love it and obsessed and just want it... i know i got this problem for a long time already, and also cos my parents usually just satisfied me with all my desire whereby i just want it more and more as time goes by... i dont extremely feel any satisfaction after getting those things, but there's just this ring ring thing in my head telling me, i got to have it! i know this is a very very bad habit and i know, it's me myself for allowing this to happen.. it's like drugs, u know its gonna hurt ur body and mind, but u just do it anyway, cos u cant resist...

recent years, things wasn't that bad, or it has got worse, depends on which perspective u are looking at. im starting to get more and more expensive stuff from psp to sharp phone to bb to dslr to imac to macbookpro to the last thing ipad2.... i know im crazy...... but in the recent years, i did work and i did contribute to most part of those things to satisfied my own desire... yea as i said, i dont really get very excited over those things... but i just wanting it ...

then now im craving for iphone4s, since bb is dying, im thinking why not to just have a new phone? and since iphones are so hot and so good... the price is really expensive , but as usual, i tot he would said yes anyway... before making the call , i was struggling and my inner thoughts are telling me that i'm already old enough , it's kinda shameful for asking parents for things endlessly... but then like aiya hack care... then my dad said no in a indirect way... i'm not annoyed at him by saying no! but im annoyed by myself for doing this... i think its so bloody shameful after all!! but i still did it! if things could turn around and ask if would do the same thing i would say yes... what the hell is wrong with me...

in the same time im kinda glad that he said no.... because i'm making my mind clear this time, whatever i want, i earn for it myself! no longer a kids anymore... in fact im really old enough to at least go out and find a part time job to satisfied my own desire at times... why am i still asking them for money... and spending like nobody's business... it's so gross and disgusting!! i'm always kinda accept in a way that im mature and yet i'm doing this kind of stuff to make myself so sick to even think about it at times...

looking at friends around, nobody is poor here in ies, but not many of them wants stuff and be so demanding like i do... really... i shall stop this, really !!

yea.. from this day onwards,
it's the beginning of my 20s years...

M.E

2011-10-06T21:24:00.000+08:00

The sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings and making new friends. They tend to be creative and often day dream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean very sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with the following tasks all the way through. They are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often when pursuing a new hobby,interest is lost quickly when it creases to be engaging or fun. A sanguine person is happy, friendly and warm, eager and has an ability to sympathize with others. He has lots of friends and everyone thinks he is a fun company. But he is often very self-centred and he lacks self-control . He has a tendency to exaggerated and he is emotionally unstable.

Dream House....

2011-10-05T21:13:00.002+08:00

I'm really been obsessed lately, don't judge me, don't say i'm crazy... im just kinda in love with my own dream and drawn to it... i wanted to have a sweet home so badly.. have been thinking of it over and over again...
Of what kind of design i want to make my house to be? What kind of tables and chairs? What colour of wall paper.. oh well, i dont think wall paper is going to work... but all the furnitures and everything!!

This is actually my very first experience whereby i can actually deco my dream house on my own! Completely on my own! Like i own the place that kind of feeling! Can you pls just bare with my excitement.. oh well, i know is kinda disturbing at times, and that's my personality i can't help it... once i get excited over something, i will be talking and talking about it over and over and over and over again and again and again.....

Okay, so basically if everything works well, vienna and i will be moving to this three stories high unit. Level one will be garage, tho we don't own a car now, but eventually we will, so it's kinda essential. The second level is the hall with a half open kitchen! Sounds exciting? lol anyway to me , that is! I always wanted to have a nice and big kitchen, although im not a good chef, but i'm willing to learn! In fact, i'm learning it right now! and i really enjoy cooking! So this little hall will be deco for our friends and families when they come to visit us! With comfy sofa, tv and piano! omg... i really wanted to have a piano in our home! Listen to the music is always so relax and comfortable...

Then moving to the next level which is our bed rooms! Each of us owns our individual toilets! I might be getting a queen size bed, just to be more comfortable... and i want my room to be clean and bright, filled with sunlight and little flowers... then i might be setting up a little reading area for myself... just to chillax and to read story books instead of always holding it before sleep... and i will get a little table and chair infront of that, to have some coffee or snack.. then i will be sitting there to write post cards and to write letters to my darlings.... I will be getting a huge study table!! this is really important!! Since we are going to stay there for at least 3 years, i think a huge study table is really essential for my future hardcore study.. LOL

For the balcony area, we will set up two chairs and one small table, so we can watch the stars at night and have some nice talks.... or have friends to hang out during the summer time...

AWWWWW i can't wait to move in really!!!
God bless me for having to have my home sweet home really fast..

never ending

2011-10-03T21:49:00.003+08:00

有时候满世界的只是一直在等那个对的人
有时候真想放荡的玩一玩
但是理智又牵动着几近快崩溃的神经给予否定
都不知道怎么突然这么感性的来这么一句
可能是那天在火车上看到对面的老夫妇那恩爱的神情真的对我震撼很深
没有夸张，看着他俩的对话，和老爷搂着老太的样子
我真的快飙泪了。。。

可能是周围一直都没什么好的结局
现实把梦都销毁的可以

只是有的时候会有迫不及待的不耐烦
和小插曲的发点牢骚的
转个圈终究发现还是回到圆点

句号一样
逗号至少还出一条尾巴

peace.love