Yogademia

Reminder: V-day Cards!!!

2010-02-08T15:41:00.000Z

Don't forget - if you want to get in on my Valentine's Day card action, I need your snail mail address ASAP and absolutely no later than 7am GMT on Tuesday, 9 February!

I've had some reports of people e-mailing me but not getting a response. If I haven't responded to your e-mail, then for some reason I haven't received it. Please click here to e-mail me! This e-mail link will only work until Tuesday morning, so write to me tonight!

I am an emotional creature

2010-02-08T13:15:00.001Z

Today I watched Eve Ensler's TED talk from November 2009 in India, Embrace Your Inner Girl.

Because it's Ensler, it's not what you might expect from the title. "Embrace your inner girl" means to do away with the socially-induced compulsion to please that mutes your identity, and embrace your intrinsically vulnerable, sensitive, compassionate, intuitive, emotional core. It's about being an emotional creature, and being perfectly at east with that as well. She connects this idea of the "girl self" to both males and females, but the examples she speaks about and wrote about in her book that will be released on Wednesday are all teenage girls because that is where and when the backward shift in the mentality happens.

As her talk progressed, I felt a sensation inside like something was overflowing within me. It wasn't just listening to her stories - which are themselves powerful, horrifying, uplifting stories - that caused this. Her message is phenomenal, but her delivery struck a much deeper chord in me. It was the real, raw passion and emotion she displayed during her talk. She was 100% committed to everything coming out of her mouth: these stories were her story, our story, everyone's story. She got emotional about it. And when she put away her notes, her devotion to, passion for, and belief in this project shone out like a spotlight.

Next week on Tuesday I've been invited to give what Ivory Towerites call a "job talk" as part of the interview for the one Stateside job I might be interested in. It's a 40-minute academic lecture on "[my] research in the context of East Asian art history." First of all, that seemingly generous topic is just enough rope to hang yourself with. Second, there are two things you want your audience to take away from a job talk: whatever your message is, and that you are the best candidate for the job. It's hard to know which should have top priority when you know that both you and your ideas stand to swing by the hangman's noose.

To prepare, I've been reading books like slide:ology and Presentation Zen. What these books all come down to in the end is message, visual story, and delivery: a clear, convincing message expressed in a simple, illuminating visual story, presented with passion and without notes to connect personally with the audience.

Whatever I feel about academia as a whole, I am emotionally attached to my research, and rightly so after seven years. As topics go, it's an underdog, and I love me some underdog. Plus, whether this performance turns out to be my opening number or my swan song, I want it to rock the crowd. Ensler showed me that my talk would really benefit from a good dose of the passion and emotion that make TED talks so compelling, because passionate is what I am about the topic even if I have to subdue that energy into smartypants adjectives in my dissertation and at most conferences.

If next Tuesday is my one shot to teach the audience about this topic, then I'm definitely not content to be cold and detached and academic about it. I want to present with all the strength of feeling inside that spills over my edges because I am an emotional creature, and I own my passion for this topic.

*Image credit

Yogini's Choice: 7 February 2010

2010-02-07T10:06:00.001Z

Yogini's Choice is a collection of inspiring and thought-provoking items on a variety of topics sourced from around the web and world, published Sundays.

*Don't forget to get in touch with me about your Valentine's day card!

*I was lucky enough this week to have coffee with Rachel of Suburban Yogini in my first face-to-face blogger meetup! This is one classy and edgy yogini, with a fantastically down-to-earth, slightly punk rock streak. Why on earth aren't you reading her blog?

*Despite the title on this article, Dita von Teese saves her pennies just like the rest of us. Proof positive that financial responsibility is utterly glamourous!

*Every time I start thinking that maybe I should just go the safe'n'standard route, I read over Chris Guillebeau's short collection of unconventional ideas.

*Here's How To: Cure A Broken Heart with Yoga in Two Hours or Less. Of course, this applies to anything taxing your emotions, so apply it liberally.

*This $100 wedding at sunrise, in a cave, in the middle of nowhere, takes inspiring to a new level.

*Crazy idea - easy. hard. same dif.

*Something completely different for the dress of the week - I have spring on the brain.

Scheduling self-work

2010-02-05T21:30:00.000Z

Today I spent about an hour working on Style Statement, a book on many of our reading lists right now.

As I mentioned earlier this week, in January I didn't make time for dedicated self work, so one of my February goals was to schedule specific time for this each week in February. On Monday, I blocked out time for this into my schedule for the week.

That is really what made all the difference.

All week, I knew that come Friday evening, I could set my daily work aside and work on myself. Just like any other major event in the course of a week, it had a place in the back of my mind.

That doesn't mean I wasn't tempted to ignore my own schedule and keep on working, because I was. But I knew that I wouldn't skip a meeting, or a class I had paid for, or my daily work, all of which get scheduled in my chronotebook. So there was no reason I could actually skip my self-work.

And it was incredible.

It was amazing to sit down with a mug of tea and work on my Style Statement for an hour. It was amazing to know that I had permission to do it, because I gave myself permission by scheduling it into my week. And because it had been pre-scheduled, I knew that my other daily work had to be completed by then, so it was. What a phenomenally simple way to prioritize your own self-work!

Have you found yourself skipping your self-work?
What do you think about scheduling it into your planner a week ahead of time?

Confessions of a Free Download Junkie

2010-02-03T19:52:00.000Z

I love free self-improvement goodies.

If there are free worksheets, free meditation mp3s, free life planners, free [whatever that will change and improve your life] out there, chances are good that I've downloaded it. And then filed it into a special folder I keep just for these things that has now reached nearly 3 GB.

None of which I've read, listened to, or worked on.

This is what happens: I find something great, go to the trouble of downloading it, and then it just sits there while I go about everything else. This is exactly what happened in January, when I wanted to start doing weekly homemade workshops using these worksheets, my mp3 and podcast collections, and all sorts of wonderful books on my shelf. I just didn't make the time for it, and it didn't happen.

How revolutionary - if you make time for it, it happens.

If something is important enough to you, you schedule it into your day. This self-work *is* very important to me. If I were paying for it, I would never have let this happen. Self-work and the free time in which to do it are the most luxurious indulgences in the world! What is it about not having paid for these things that cheapens them?

What are you not making time for? And what are you dismissing because it's free?

Monday Bonus: Will you be my Valentine?

2010-02-01T17:42:00.004Z

Hello again, you fabulous Yogademia readers! This is a special extra bonus post.

As a further thank you for sticking with me, I'd like to send you a Valentine's Day card. An actual hand-written Valentine.

Whatever you think of the 21st-century iteration of Valentine's Day itself (Hallmark Holiday, better than [whatever you celebrate in December], etc.), I want you to know how much I love being part of your world.

Here's how to get your Valentine:

1) Send me your address: either DM me on Twitter, or e-mail it to kiki [dot] yogademia [at] gmail [dot] com. If you'd prefer an e-card, that's fine too - just let me know, and tell me your e-mail address!

2) Sign up by Monday February 8.

That's it! If you have questions, just drop me a line, or leave a note in the comments.

Please be my valentine!

*Jeff Koons, Hanging Heart (1994-2006)

January Check-in and February Goals

2010-02-01T17:30:00.001Z

I freely admit that, in January, I broke Rule #1 about New Habits: only start one at at time. I thought I was Superwoman; that was a bit too much, too fast.

My 1001/101 Goals for January were:

30. Practice evening ritual daily for a month: facial care, flossing, brief meditation
I only skipped flossing two or three times - once when I forgot my floss while traveling - and my mouth felt so gack the next day that I couldn't wait to floss. Plus it scares the bejeebers out of my that the same plaque between your teeth is what clogs your arteries. So I am pleased to say: I now floss every night. The nightly ritual thing is a little more fluid: I floss; I decompress with reading, breathing, journaling, etc.; but sometimes I just can't manage washing my face at night. I'm going to have to think about that one a bit more.

62. Hold my own weekly creativity, writing, and self-coaching workshop
I just didn't have the time - or rather, I didn't pre-schedule enough time.

69. Take myself on weekly Artist Dates
This I managed, but it was a little bit kamikaze and haphazard. Still, maybe that's okay - the spontaneity actually turned into a few really wonderful surprises. Maybe the kamikaze Artist Date is the way to go for me...

88. Work core muscles every other day of 2010
This started off well, but I fell off the wagon. First, it was too ambitious; second, I disconnected from "core" as my 2010 Word-of-the-Year. This one needs to be revamped.

95. Practice yoga every day for one month

I didn't get on the mat each day, but I was conscious of the fact that when I wasn't on the mat, I was trying to practice yoga more across the board. More karma yoga, more bhakti yoga, more put-it-into-real-world-action yoga. I also put it into action in running: I ran a timed 5k on Saturday, and was absolutely yogic about the focus on my breath. That was only thing that brought me through the entire event on a super-icy morning. This, I believe, is well on the way to officially being a way of life (more than just a habit), but I want to give it another month to be sure.

On top of my January 2010 goals, I also wanted to post at least three times weekly, run at least twice, write morning pages every day, revise my dissertation, and generally be Superwoman. Not that those were new, but I took on too much - I'm going to have to start a few things over. I'm not Superwoman, but I can choose to do the things that are important to me rather than what's not essential. There is exactly enough time for everything that is important.

So here's February:

*Complete the central text of my doctoral dissertation to submit on March 1 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

*Practice yoga daily - either on the mat, or off - but three long asana practices weekly.

*Schedule self-workshop time per week (This week: 3:30-5 on Friday)

*Run twice weekly

#30: Develop and practice evening ritual daily (facial and dental care, supplements, decompression)

#39: Write Pages daily (as in morning pages, journaling, that sort of thing - I just call them Pages)

#88: Work core in every asana practice and after every run (you'll notice that's different from before)

How did your January turn out? What are your goals for February? Don't forget - if you leave a comment on my blog, I'll definitely come and comment on yours!

Yogini's Choice: Taking Responsibility

2010-01-31T19:22:00.001Z

Yogini's Choice is a collection of inspiring and thought-provoking items on a variety of topics sourced from around the web and world, published Sundays. At least, it usually is, but the whole point of it being a choice is that sometimes, I choose to do something different.

Dearest Marvelous and Soul-Brightening Readers,

First, a thank you.

According to my stats, there are 82 of you formally subscribed to this little endeavor. That's 81 more people than I expected. Those of you out there who subscribe by e-mail, read via twitter, or just swing by casually on occasion, thank you to you, too. Thank you especially to my regular commenters - I'm working hard to return the favor.

Second, an apology for how erratic my posting has been since September.

I could tell you that I spend so much time writing applications and revising chapters each day that by the time evening blogging time rolls around I'm ready to pitch my computer out the window and shatter it to smithereens. I could tell you that I try not to make googly-eyes at my laptop when I could be making googly-eyes at my guy. I could tell you that I'm just too tired to blog at night.

I could tell you all of that, because it's true, and you would believe me and accept it and keep coming back, because you are wonderful.

But you deserve better. You deserve responsibility.

*Image credit

When I was catching up on my feeds today and culling out the non-essentials in an effort to practice The Power of Less, I ran across the following question:

Would you pay to read your own blog?

The answer, shockingly, was no.

I realized that if I weren't the one writing Yogademia, I would have just deleted it from my feed reader.

*blink*

Like I said, you deserve better. You deserve regular, first-class posts.

So what I promise you is consistency and quality. You'll get four thoughtful posts per week like clockwork: that's Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. It's no different than what I committed to before, but now I'm taking responsibility for it and holding myself accountable to both the quantity and the quality.

Plus, if you comment on my blog, I will come by and comment on yours - I've found some of my favorite bloggers this way, and I'm always excited to discover more. Ordinary people going about their daily living are extraordinary to me, so please leave a comment to introduce yourself.

You deserve better. I can be better. You inspire me to do great work. Together, we make a great team.

Thank you for inspiring me to take responsibility,
Kiki

Cue the inevitable

2010-01-25T12:00:00.003Z

I've been called back to the States for a job interview.

It was inevitable - we knew this would happen, although we tried not to think about it.

Even though I couldn't stay in England any longer than March 15 anyway, I didn't really expect to actually be offered any interviews, much less for the one single gig I'm actually interested in.

That's not self-deprecation talking; that's years of questioning whether or not I want to take up the academic torch when I think more and more about doing something different, especially since my body is actively rebelling against being so sedentary. Writing those cover letters was sheer agony, but I felt I had to do it to keep up the façade of plausible deniability.

But what are the odds that out of 14 applications, the one gig I applied for that is different all the others actually wants to meet me in person.

This is the one job I applied for that I actually considered wanting. What makes this one different, and therefore compelling, is that it combines a) what I study with b) something I've been fighting unsuccessfully to study over the past seven years and c) a chance to actually make a frickin' difference to d) my ideal demographic. This is not your average academic gig and not your average campus. This one is special.

On the flip side, that means leaving Darcy here in England a month early, and officially beginning the process of Making The Big Decisions.

Of course, there are still two or three weeks before the interview, and I won't know if I've been offered the position until late February/early March. And only then can we start negotiating things to see if it is actually doable and worthwhile for one crazy American and a considerably quieter Brit to set up shop together in the States.

I just don't know what I want. But I want it.

Image credit

Yogini's Choice: 24 January 2010

2010-01-24T07:22:00.000Z

Yogini's Choice is a collection of inspiring and thought-provoking items on a variety of topics sourced from around the web and world, published Sundays.

*Experts may have found the bones of a 10th-century Princess Diana.

*I really want one of these:

*Whether you call it a semester or a season, to achieve your short-term goals you need a plan.

*How to combat the winter blues, Parisian style.

*Dry skin? Try nourishing it from within with Complexion Potions.

*Considering hiring or becoming a life or career coach? Check out this video featuring Michelle Ward of When I Grow Up Coaching. Love that sparkly flower pinned in her hair!

*And of course, the dress of the week. Thanks for pointing me at this site, J!

Choosing Happiness with Yellow and Orange

2010-01-22T11:21:00.000Z

You heard about my super-extremely-awful day on Wednesday, and even though I knew exactly the sort of thing I should be doing to wiggle myself out of it, I just couldn't move.

Whether you call it SAD, the winter blues, or the January doldrums, I've got it, and apparently it's generally pretty bad here in the UK. But color psychology suggests that yellow and orange in moderate amounts makes us happier, more energetic, and more optimistic.

So I am choosing happiness by taking yellow and orange action: hot lemonade made with slices of lemon studded with cloves and sweetened with agave nectar in a clear glass mug, yellow polka-dotted underwear, pale yellow gmail theme, orange scarf, orange markers. I'll pick up some flowers over the weekend, and they will be yellow and orange. And then I found some more ideas -

Isn't this a lovely idea for Sunday brunch for two?

What about yellow for the wedding?

Aren't these gorgeous combinations of yellow and orange? I love the cupcakes and the pitcher!

Image credits 1, 2, 3

Practice, of a sort

2010-01-20T20:21:00.000Z

My time on the yoga mat on Wednesday looked a lot more like prayer and tears than anything else.

That's because it was more prayer and tears than anything else.

I had a bad day. Not just some sugar-coated "difficult day," nor an "off day," not even an off-kilter day. I just had a really bad day. Suddenly all the stress of finishing my ~~daily mental flagellation~~ dissertation, graduating, moving around, and planning a wedding just exploded in my head all at once.

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to bits of work in between wailing at my computer screen and soaking through boxes of tissues, at least until Darcy came home and calmed me down somewhat. I thought I was doing all right, even got another hour of work in while Darcy was out rowing and then I called my mother, and talk inevitably turned to the the wedding. Suddenly, it was all back again, the fact that I'm trying to do all of this at once, and it just isn't working.

So I rolled out the mat, this textured pink rectangle of sacred space where I can feel safe and free. And I prayed with all my heart, and cried some more, and just let it out while trying to pull myself back in to center.

Is your mat a sacred space? Do you feel the same way about that little rectangle of world as I do?

Yogini's Choice, 17 January 2010

2010-01-17T08:00:00.002Z

Yogini's Choice is a collection of inspiring and thought-provoking items on a variety of topics sourced from around the web and world, published Sundays.

*A positive take on Americans abroad, from a Brit!

*The gritty underbelly of down dog: some interesting insights on the economics of being a yoga teacher.

*Have you ever tried a workspace dash?

*Do you have an idea garden?

*Vote for Barbie's future career! Choose from environmentalist, surgeon, architect, news anchor, or computer engineer!

*And of course, the dress of the week. I'm starting to sense a theme...

Yoga teachers are human too!

2010-01-15T21:12:00.000Z

Have you ever thought about the not-so-yogic side of being a yoga teacher? Like when your personal life cuts in a little too close?

Some personal stories of less-than-harmonious yoga encounters!

Advice for Life, from Introductions and Conclusions

2010-01-13T19:37:00.003Z

Yesterday I had virtual office hours with the third reader for my dissertation. He's in a different department, was completely ambushed into being part of my committee, and STILL is the only one of the three official readers who is offering detailed, substantive, practical comments.*
*I've also received comments from a woman who is something of a mentor. Unfortunately, she isn't part of my committee...

We spent the hour discussing the introduction and conclusion, where you make your big debut into the field based on what has (or has not) come before, and stake out what your work means for the future. He offered some excellent advice that applies well beyond academic writing. It's just too good to keep to myself - I hope it resonates with you as it did with me!

*Be gracious.

*Always include your sources.

*Avoid passive voice and generalizations.
*Allow for the accomplishments of others to matter.

*Be sure to acknowledge the people who have helped you.
*Don't make people feel stupid for thinking what they used to think. They get emotional, and it clouds their understanding of your argument.

*Image credit

Why I Practice Yoga

2010-01-12T07:00:00.002Z

Yes, that pretty much sums it up...
*image credit

Cutting out yoga static (or, a podcast-free week of yoga)

2010-01-11T09:00:00.000Z

Last week I talked about my fear of creating a personal yoga practice without a podcast crutch.

This garnered some fantastic advice from women who feature in my short list of favorite bloggers (thank you Lexi, Melita, Annaliese Marie, and Vienna!). These sparkling souls suggested journalling about the fear, reading materials, the idea of planning out the practice in advance as if teaching a class, and simply following your own physical intuition. All of these make beautiful sense as ways to work through and move beyond the issue, and I gave these ideas a try. But then I continued wondering what *really* exists at the core of this issue? What am I really so afraid of, deep down?

The idea of authenticity has been a repeated part of my writing lately, from career choices to my 2010 word of the year. On Saturday morning, during the little weekly yoga + creativity parties that I hold while Darcy goes rowing, I read Jen Louden's unbelievably insightful post on "static-free authenticity." She summed up my problem in a single sentence:

You can’t stand the discomfort of going within to find your own answers, or the fear of not knowing, so you distract yourself.

I knew this was true because as difficult as it was to read, my stomach and shoulders relaxed and my vision cleared. It was like finally telling the truth after keeping something hidden from someone you care about - you don't realize the physical stress it puts on your body until you release it. When delivered compassionately, a hard truth has more potential to help you grow than anything else, and it starts with a physical release of what has not been serving you.

To combat this self-distracting, Louden suggested turning off the noise around you that is getting in the way of your authentic identity for a week. So this week, I'll be practicing yoga without podcasts. *erk*

I know this will be ~~really frickin' difficult~~ challenging, just like Prohibition Week over the summer when I was working through The Artist's Way and couldn't read anything. But I'm going to try it for a week. It's only a week.

I'm definitely committed to getting you the new yoga podcast reviews I promised, possibly even making those reviews a regular feature since there are so many really wonderful yoga podcasts out there. (Would you like that? Tell me in the comments.)

But this week, it's just me, mat and music, and some soul-searing work on poses I've been avoiding for all the usual reasons.

How are you distracting yourself from the real authentic you?

Yogini's Choice, 10 January 2010

2010-01-10T09:27:00.001Z

Yogini's Choice is a collection of inspiring and thought-provoking items on a variety of topics sourced from around the web and world, published Sundays.

*An old friend of mine has startedwriting a superb blog titled Real Gone Bettie about her journey to mindful living. She's an awesome rock'n'roll chick and a great writer, so this will be a great ride. As she herself says:

Primarily motivating this blog is my quest to live mindfully and my exploration of veganism. There will be times I will wax philosophical, sound new agey and aim for dead honest introspection. Let’s get something straight, though, I drink bourbon and love the madness of New York City, live for rock and roll and crave road trips. I can be a little loud, drink too much, impulsive and erratic. I am a writer and an academic. I am excited about who I am but even more excited about who I can be. My goal is to fuse these two sides of myself. I can’t say I’ll eschew bacon cheese burgers forever, or never have another slice of cheesy pizza or remain zen during my rush hour commute. I do not believe in absolutes or extremes. I am who I am, and I want to make that person my truest self. And, right now, these avenues make the most sense and feel the most organic.

*How much would you love to take a course called 'The Creative Spark' at MIT? Well, now you can, thanks to their Open CourseWare.

*Headed to New York? Check out a few new places, and blog about your trip with the free wi-fi in some unexpected places.

*Gala Darling's carousel this week is just chock-full of amazingness.

*I love this idea of technology superempowering the home as feminine space.

*The world's most famous smile may have been suffering from high cholesterol!

*Let the wing-walking octogenarians show you how to take on some new adventures!

*Dress of the week - but ideally minus the train:

Authenticity = Fun

2010-01-08T22:07:00.001Z

Regardless of the answer, go check out the Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun, which prove that having fun is all about being authentic.

Which one resonates the most for you? For me, it's "Stop hiding who you really are." I just can't get that one out of my head...

WoYoPracMo, and Fear of Flying Solo

2010-01-06T17:59:00.002Z

One of the 1001/101 goals that I committed to for the month of January is a daily yoga practice.

(I love this episode of Get Fuzzy. Nomuttsde indeed.)

I decided that this couldn't be just a few minutes of halfhearted pranayama practiced horizontally in bed thirty seconds before sleep. It means actual time on the mat every day of the week, even if only for ten or fifteen minutes. One of my earliest blog friends, the stupendous Yogamum, has been devoting herself to maintaining the World Yoga Practice Month (WoYoPracMo, or just #woyo on Twitter) community site for some time now. Which is great, because there's a whole community of people out there doing the same thing, and struggling with the same issues.

So far, so good on the whole daily-yoga thing:
January 1: stretched out post-run with a slew of seated poses and funky downward dog variations
January 2: 75-minute Dave Farmar Power Yoga podcast (Limb-quivering!)
January 3: 15-minute Yogamazing podcast for Hangovers (Didn't have one, just felt like a detox.)
January 4: 60 minutes of Kimberly Wilson's 75-minute Vinyasa album (Wish she'd post more classes!)
January 5: 55-minute Yoga Today for Core Stabilization (Strike up the bandha, it's time to Mula!)

Okay, that was really bad, but I couldn't help myself. It's been a long day of Smart Girl Writing.

You probably already know that I'm a podcast junkie, especially when it comes to yoga. There are just so many good free yoga podcasts out there! I'm planning to post on this soon, because I've recently discovered some great new ones. But I can't seem to give myself a challenging practice on my own. This is something I want to work, so much so that it was one of the first things to go on my 1001/101 list: "96. Do a 90-minute yoga practice on my own (not with teacher or podcasts)."

Why am I so afraid of working a challenging practice on my own? What is there to be afraid of? How can you fail at something you're practicing?

Any ideas?

Yogini's Choice: 3 January, 2010

2010-01-03T07:12:00.001Z

Yogini's Choice is a collection of inspiring and thought-provoking items on a variety of topics sourced from around the web and world, published Sundays.

If I had to choose today, these are the wedding dresses I would choose between:

1. David's Bridal, Galina WG9888

2, Rhyme Couture, 'Helen'

2010 Intentions and Word-of-the-Year

2010-01-01T17:59:00.001Z

With all the Life going on in autumn 2009, I fell rather far off my path of goals and stopped holding myself accountable as well. And just like everyone else, this is the time of year when I think about what happened during the last year and how I want the year ahead to look. But as a dedicated yoga practitioner I prefer to set intentions rather than resolutions, and as a creative soul, I draw inspiration from other creative souls. This year, my intentions are entwined with the concept of choosing a word for the year. If you're wondering how to do this, download Christine Kane's Word-of-the-Year Discovery Tool.

First, I've edited my 1001/101 list to better reflect what I accomplished in 2009 and what I want to accomplish in the currently 457 days until the list comes due. Second, I chose my word-of the year for 2010: core.

My interpretation of "core" runs in two interlocking paths right now. On the physical level, it has to do with core strengthening. Maybe it's just winter, but I've found myself getting soft in the middle and it's affecting my yoga practice negatively. Not having enough core strength is actively preventing me from moving forward into next-level poses I am thisclose to flowing into, like my middle-of-the-room headstand and advanced arm balances. On the emotional and intellectual levels, it has to do with cutting through to the core of who I am creatively and what I want, which is a recurring theme here as I try to sort out my life after finishing my Ph.D.

This area that I'm working to strengthen physically corresponds to the three lowest chakras, which govern exactly the issues I'm working. (Don't you just love how the physical body corresponds to the subtle body and what you need physically to accomplish your conceptual goals? Okay, maybe not, but that's the sort of thing you get at a blog called "Yogademia.") It amazes me that everything I'm looking to develop is tied into one specific area of my body - literally, having the guts to be authentic.

How I'm holding myself accountable
*Stating it here publicly to all of you - giving voice to a goal makes you accountable to your audience. I'm certainly hoping you'll help keep me on the path. If you need reminders about yours, let me know!

*Weekly checklists printed through the ultra-amazing Moleskine Wizard for my homemade 2010 Vision Planner. (Collages everywhere! Darcy just seems to follow me around with the vacuum cleaner now because I always seem to miss little scraps of paper from the magazines I'm shredding up.)

*Regular 1001/101 Project list checks and recommitments, with monthly blog updates like I used to.

*Return to the thrice-weekly posting format plus Yogini's Choice to reconnect with you!

Happy New Year, everyone! What are your intentions for 2010? Leave me a note or a link to your post about 2010 in the comments!

Image credit 1 and Image credit 2

Ring-ing in big changes!

2009-12-31T07:58:00.001Z

Last Tuesday, 22 December, Darcy took me out for a long-overdue date.

It was his turn to plan, and he kept it completely secret. Instead of cycling out in the horrible ice that covered England last week, we put on nice togs and a cab picked us up. I had no idea where we were going, but I was extra-surprised when we ended up at Alimentum, a restaurant we had talked about trying for months. We sat down to a lovely starter and main course, with glasses of Côtes du Rhone, and just had a really wonderful meal and conversation.

After the waitress had cleared our dinner plates, Darcy looked at me and said, "You know how I love you, right?" This is what he says when I do or say silly things, or inadvertently make messes, or get food all over myself, which he finds rather cute because he thinks those sorts of things don't really fit with me and my personality. So I figured I had somehow managed to get crumbs all over my nice black dress.

But then he got up from his seat, walked around to me, got down on one knee, opened a little white box to reveal this gorgeously simple and sparkly ring, and asked me to marry him! I think I said something like, "Are you sure you can handle an American for the rest of your life?" and he thinks he said something like, "I don't know, but I'd like to try!" To be honest, we don't really remember what we said, but we both remember that whatever we said was Good. Most importantly, my gut, heart, and mind were all in accord and I said YES! The manager then popped up with glasses of champagne, and the couples nearby all congratulated us. There was a very young couple on one side, and an older couple on the other - it felt right somehow to be in the middle of a brand new relationship and a time-tested one.

[Aside: I love the fact that he chose an unconventional engagement ring in an eternity-style band. It has seven incredibly fiery diamonds set into the band, one for every day of the week. Neither of us would have wanted the more traditional kind that sticks up because it would have gotten in the way of activity and creativity. This slides beautifully under close-fitting gloves for long cycles, and doesn't get in the way at all during yoga (even if I am a little distracted by the sparkles). Personality-wise and style-wise, he made the perfect choice in this ring - better than I could have chosen myself. I love it that he knows me so well, perhaps even better than I know myself in some ways!]

We were both pretty jazzed and adrenaline-flushed after all this, so both his and my ears felt like they were flaming for the next hour. We spent dessert talking about how well he had hidden the whole process from me, how he didn't really remember what he had just eaten, and how giggly and goggle-eyed I had suddenly become - again, not really part of my everyday personality. He said that he knew I would say yes, he was just worried that I wouldn't like the ring! And of course, we talked about how both of us are somewhat freaked out by everything coming up in the near future - you know, like whether or not to continue with academia, which country to live in, visa paperwork, and so on.

Both our sets of parents are thrilled. Our friends are thrilled. Everyone seems to be thrilled! It's wonderful! Darcy said it best when he told his parents, "We just love each other so much that there wasn't a question."

I'm so excited to know that the future will be OUR adventure, taken together. We have no idea what is going to happen, when or where we'll be getting married, how this is all going to work out logistically, or anything like that. But no matter what, we'll be facing this year of big changes, and every year afterward, together.

WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Let the adventure begin!

Yoga for Dissertating

2009-12-02T17:44:00.000Z

Last week I started getting a funny pain somewhere inside my right body-sphere, about halfway between my low back and my hip inside the body. It wasn't spinal, it wasn't hip, it was something deeper.

It got worse after Sunday jumpy vinyasa yoga. It got better after Monday deep intense vinyasa yoga. On Tuesday my bodyworker informed me that my hip flexors, psoas, and piriformis were locked up so tight that there was a good inch of difference between the right and the left sides. Do you know where your piriformis and psoas are?

That's where.

After a nerve-sparking hour on the table, I'm doing a bit better, but it still ain't pretty. I'm locked up tighter than Fort Knox on the right side. All it took today was a couple of hours spent writing at my desk, and all the badness came right back. This would not be the first time that my body has said "I don't like sitting at chairs and desks for days on end! I don't! If you keep doing it, I'll give you major chronic problems!"

With all this physical discomfort - that thankfully is NOT radiating or referring up into my jaw - I've discovered that writing the Smart And Sassy Conceptual Introduction to my dissertation while sitting at a chair and desk Just. Doesn't. Work. Nor does writing propped up in bed, which is cozy but puts me to sleep and doesn't do anything good to my spine.

So I've gone for the yogic approach. Last night Darcy pulled a little low rolling table out of storage that I have commandeered for in front of my mat. I'm working with sitting in a variety of poses on the floor, and writing in those. This is what is working for me right now:
*Sukhasana - Easy Seated Pose
*Virasana - Hero pose
*Agnistambahasana - Firelog pose - particularly good for stretching the hips and piriformis
And believe me: if I could write like this, I would:

Any know of a gravity-defying laptop?

Holidays, gratitude, advice, and lightbulb moments

2009-11-27T07:08:00.000Z

Thanksgiving Thursday was simply Thursday here in the UK. But in my head, it was still festive and holiday-like - I had a breakfast date with Darcy, got a haircut, did some holiday-themed errands, and worked in Starbucks. I bought a turkey (that at ten pounds does not seem nearly large enough for my American-sized holiday mind), stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pecan pie fixings. I read all the gratitude that was flowing on the web and Twitter, and enjoyed making some mental gratitude lists of my own. On Saturday I'll actually be hosting potluck Thanksgiving, with ten people, their side dishes, and hopefully the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade if we can find it to download somewhere.

One other festivity-inducing thing I did was to send out the last academic job application due before January 1, which only leaves one left if I do decide to submit it. Finishing those was a huge load off my shoulders and really felt like the start of the holiday season. It has been incredibly hard for me to write these given the great ambivalence I have for academia, and I have struggled through each and every single one. Now, they are no longer my problem. Happy Holidays!

Just in time for all this holiday lightness came all your advice. The last post I wrote produced so much love and support in the form of tweets, comments, e-mails and even phone calls. I'm so grateful for the way you all engaged this issue with me. The questions you asked, the suggestions you made, the advice you offered: all of it was wonderful and useful. And you all said essentially the same thing: either way, the choice has to be one I make for me rather than for others, and the right choice is the one I agree with when I look back on my life in old age.

I have a hard time with disappointing parental figures who have invested in me and expect Certain Things. But one particular piece of advice on this stood out for me in resolving this (thank you, R!):

"By disappointing people it shatters their expectations…it frees up their picture of you and allows them to see you as a real human, not a false made up picture of how they think you should be."

*Please hold while I scrape myself off the floor from that lightbulb moment*

Holy ten-pound turkey, Batman! Of course! Authenticity is the answer!