You Are Dreaming

You are NOT a person

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:57:00 +0000

Vedanta is only dealing with direct reality. It has nothing to do with spirituality, although that's the way the mind translates it. Because it's so radically different from our relative reality of manyness, of duality, it's taken to be something supernatural, something "spiritual".

Spirit-ual means having to do with the spirit. This assumes there is a spirit abiding IN the body, which is then freed or made whole or connected. Somehow "spirituality" is connected with nonduality, which means oneness, not two. To assume a spirit abiding in the body means there is a body - a body means there is a world. Therefore spirituality is, by definition, a dualistic concept.

Vedanta is simply a spinning wheel - a hardened grinder against which our assumptions are placed. If you speak of a body, Vedanta questions the existence of that body. If you speak of a mind, Vedanta questions that mind.

Vedanta is called "an occasion for doubt". It is an opportunity to take our most cherished beliefs out for a spin - get them out in fresh air and get a good look at them. So we look at the body - we ask "what is it?" How do you know? We ask "who is looking?" How do you know?

Each time something comes up, it's questioned to see if it's true, because Vedanta is only concerned with reality. Yet each time we examine a belief, we find it's standing upon another belief, and another, and another.

We find that our perceived or assumed reality is built on a tower of assumptions and beliefs which have, till now, been unquestioned. And if we are serious about our investigation, we find these assumptions are very shaky.

It requires a real serious desire to know the truth, because although the beliefs are shaky, they are persistent. They are solidified, like a concrete foundation. And upon that foundation the mental abstractions are endless.

So at some point we have had enough - spirituality has become a child's game, a toying with meditation or incense or various books on the subject. At some point we tire of chasing chakras and astrological charts, new age music... we simply want to get to the bottom of it. Yet we find that our perception or "template" of reality is solidified - each stone overturned reveals another stone. Each "object" scrutinized is found to stand upon another object.

This idea of reality had to come from somewhere - as any belief or definition must. We find that we have been taught to view reality as made up of "things" - with your Self being the central "thing" among things. "You are your own person." "Be an individual." We are forced, at a time when we have no other influences, to take on a template of separated reality. And that template is further hardened - we experience the teenage years and suddenly find we must find our place in the world. We are blasted with images - we must create an identity to fit in. We must figure out what our style will be, how we will wear our hair, what our preferences will be. The teenage years are waded through with a constant "under construction" sign hung upon our Self.

So instead of recognizing that it was only ever a learned belief, that we are not an independent existence but the Whole itself, we go about trying to perfect this image, to hang the right ornaments, to dress the storefront windows properly. And it's a tiring and depressing undertaking - why? Because that innate and intimate knowledge of your Self is already there, only being drowned out by the constant and forceful pressure to fit in, to become something, to build an identity.

That construction never ends - as we go into higher education or the working world, we are blasted with pressure to fit in, to achieve, to make that image more perfect. When that image is questioned, we must immediately speak back in defense - properly adjust that image for the world.

At some point we just realize that it's a rat race - it's a never-ending charade - a game which we no longer wish to participate in. So we begin the spiritual search.

And in this spiritual search, we are asked to question the very essence of what we have taken ourselves to be, what we have been taught that we are, that image we have forever been trying to build and perfect. We are told that this individual self is false - that reality is Whole - singular - Oneness. And of course it's a paradox because, analyzed within our paradigm of separateness, it all sounds like a bunch of spaced-out people out of touch with reality. It's IMPOSSIBLE to resolve it within that paradigm of the individual existence, apart from the world. We're forever trying to force-fit "things" into a spiritual model of Oneness.

It's impossible to "successfully" seek as an individual, simply because the individual is the very "thing" upon which duality is built. To successfully end the search would mean finding out that you are not an individual, after all. It would mean all the work built to create and mold that image was wasted, useless. It would mean that this life story was all bullshit, that all possessions and accomplishments are meaningless.

No individual would want that, no matter how much suffering goes along with the template. Yet the spiritual search will never be anything but more topical salve for suffering as long as the root of the issue is left uncovered.

It only needs heard, truly heard, only once... You are NOT a person.

Maya means "thingness"

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:29:00 +0000

What does duality really mean? It means "manyness", many separate and independent "things". So duality means "of things" or "thingness." Our normal experience of reality is that of "thingness". To be dual is to be more than one - so we're really talking about more than one "thing". Yes?

What does this mean? It means that this world is made up of separate things, each standing alone or apart, independent in their existence. This paradigm requires the subject/object equation - an "I", a separate "seer" apart from the "seen" or objective.

Vedanta simply says that the nature of existence isn't separated, that although there is an appearance of "things", those things don't have independent existence. Existence is existence - it's not separated. The appearances are of that singular existence, although there is the appearance of separation. The appearance of thingness is called "Maya".

So let's reverse-engineer duality. Let's find out how this idea of duality or "thingness" is created.

Can you think of nonduality? Can you think of "oneness"? No. Because to say "I am thinking of nonduality" immediately requires a separate "you" and an object of thought - two "things".

What is right in front of you? A computer screen. To call it a computer screen is to create duality. Calling it a computer screen assumes the one who is seeing it, the room in which it is located, the space in which the room is located, the universe itself.

What are you sitting on? A chair? Calling it a chair immediately calls into existence (in concepts) the entire universe. All that is not-chair. Do you follow?

Therefore it is mind and language (concepts) which creates this duality.

What IS is what? Right here and now. THIS is what IS. Isn't THIS reality? Right here and now? Whatever THIS may be called or conceptualized. And it's ok that the mind does this - that's it's job. It's normal. But in this conceptualization, the "world of separate things" is created. Even that's not a problem. But along with this, suffering comes, because the primary "thing" in this equation is "ME", the separate self, the one who is the self-reference AS a separate thing. This paradigm creates the very idea of isolation and limit.

Why? Because IF there is a world outside you, independent of you, then you are limited and isolated BY the world. You are a small and insignificant piece of the universe, which has a beginning and an eventual end.

This is not reality. You are not limited, you are not finite.

Watch how the mind automatically places "thingness" upon what IS, and in doing so, creates the world in imagination, automatically imagining a world. Therefore the first thought is automatically false. The first thought is automatically dualistic. That's just the way the mind works.

If we try to not think dualistically, we will always fail. To even think about nonduality requires a thinker, someone who will know nonduality or Oneness. Can there be someone apart from Oneness to think about it? To know it? To objectify it? No. Notice how the mind must place thingness upon that.

So there really isn't any problem, as long as we notice that this is what the mind is doing. In seeing through this mechanism, we find that what IS, still IS. Nothing has changed. But that mechanism of "thingness", that creation of "partness" is ONLY the work of the mind. In fact that dualistic mechanism is really very relative and arbitrary. It depends on the conditioning of the mind, what has been learned, etc. Reality cannot be relative and arbitrary.

So what IS remains what IS - only there is no way to talk about it, no way to think about it accurately, truthfully. The first thought is automatically false and only dualistic. Does this mean we stop thinking?

No. We just see the mind for what it is. Then what IS remains what IS, without the belief that it is made up of "things". And if it's not made up of "things", then what is it? What is reality, in direct experience, without this dualistic process?

Reality is just YOU. The "real" you is just THIS, just this moment, this "presence" - whatever IS, right here and now, is YOU. If this mental process of "thingness" were to fall away, would YOU fall away? Wouldn't you still know that you exist? Yes - because that knowledge of existence is the only knowledge which isn't conceptual - it's immediate and obvious without requiring a thought, without requiring a concept.

Therefore YOU ARE - that singular existence, that nondual reality, is YOU.

Can you find Awareness?

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:15:00 +0000

What is the location for Awareness? Where is it located? Can you find it? Can you put your finger on it?

Awareness is undeniably there, yet it's not anywhere in particular. It's everywhere. It's everything. Is this a mystical experience? Is this a new state? No. It's already the case, only it's taken as "ME-seeing-world". Awareness is the nondual reality, the present state of affairs, however it's being translated as a subject seeing an object.

If you had to locate Awareness, you wouldn't be able to point to anything in particular, because Awareness encompasses everything, every single experience, every feeling, every thought, the slightest sensation, the most subtle perception.

If you point to the wall, you're pointing to Awareness, so to speak. The wall doesn't exist outside of Awareness. The finger which is pointing is in Awareness. The one who is pointing is also objective within Awareness. Isn't this rather obvious? It's almost silly to have to point it out - it's the most primary, fundamental and obvious aspect of reality - the entirety of that so-called individual is an appearance IN this Awareness, which pervades and shines unconditionally, unfettered, unaffected.

If we had to say what we are, ultimately, we might notice the obviousness of this bright and ever-present presence, this space of knowing, this solid block of nondual reality which we intimately know as "awareness".

You cannot find it conceptually because you ARE it. Yet wherever you look, there it is. Any appearance, any experience is nothing BUT that limitless Awareness that you are. Yet to speak of appearances, we are still operating in duality and requiring a witness or awar-er of the appearance, requiring the appearance to be other than the witness. Therefore the witness and appearance are provisional understandings and are ultimately discarded.

Awareness is then recognized to be all there is - subject and object are realized as taking Awareness to be split up - this is something the mind does naturally and is not inherently problematic. But when that subject is seen to be separate from the object, when that subject is seen as an independently-existing entity, the constant and compulsive self-reference brings suffering.

When we recognize that Awareness has never been lost, never obscured, never the result of spiritual experiences or practices - when we recognize that each perception IS that Awareness that you are, then every experience is enlightenment, every appearance is a miracle. Then the mind carries on but that binding nature of thought is dissolved. The urge to apply experiences to a self-reference falls away naturally. Awareness shines as it always has, but it's known to be your own true essence.

Yet the instant it is searched for, the simplicity and obviousness of this space-like presence of Awareness has been missed, overlooked. Yet even the overlooking, the seeking, the ignorance of your true Self is irrelevant, because the search itself takes place as a series of thoughts, experiences and ideas within THAT which is being sought after.

Nothing at all is required to be what you already are. THIS, right here and now, is IT. THIS, right here and now, is Awareness itself, nondual reality, one without a second, Advaita. It isn't difficult to find. It's inescapable.

You are the Absolute

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:40:00 +0000

You are not limited in any way. It is the idea that you are limited which brings fear, desire and suffering.

You are the limitless - pristine and full, always shining, always present, always aware.

You are like the sky - vast beyond measure, beyond qualification. Your presence is the openness or capacity for the world to appear, for the world to play it's game of duality, for Life to dance, always a wave cresting with no beginning or end.

You are not graspable with mind, yet there is always an intuitive yet intimate knowledge of your Self. You are not in need of finding - it is only the mind which desires to place a location or duration on the Self. You are not graspable in this way.

You cannot be ascertained by any means whatsoever, yet the knowledge of your Self is ever-present, present in all experience. There is nothing that needs to be done for you to BE or KNOW your Self.

You are always fully present, fully shining, fully awake. You are the ground of all experience, the condition of the world, the IS-ness of this moment, the potentiality of all creation.

You have not come into existence therefore will not cease to exist, cease to BE. YOU ARE - this is all you can say with certainty. YOU ARE truly means "Awareness IS".

This IS-ness is undeniable - inescapable. All spiritual searches assume becoming, while you remain as you are, always beyond all searches. You are not findable. You will never appear as a result of the search - for you always ARE.

The mind carries on, trying to quantify and qualify, trying to put a fence around your Self. It overturns each rock, looks between the covers of each book - yet YOU are always there in spite of the frustrating search.

The mind places the idea called "limited". Yet you are never limited in any way. The mind leverages time and space - creating the story of a lifetime of seeking, an individual who is valiantly marching down the spiritual path, hidden in darkness and yearning for the light of enlightenment.

Yet without your presence, the search could not take place.

You are the light which illuminates the world, the Sun which warms the galaxy, the sky which provides a space for the clouds to come and go. You are the ocean which takes shape as the wave while, never being limited by them.

You are the actual reality of this very moment, the beingness which is always undeniable and not in need of a search.

The Absolute is closer than your face, more intimate than any thought. The Absolute Reality isn't arrived at, doesn't come in anew as some brilliant experience.

Nothing new is required. The Absolute is YOU, just as you are this very moment. Only deeply inquire any ideas you have about your Self. Each idea is a limitation - you are the limitless Absolute Reality.

Amazingly, wonderfully, no concept can actually limit YOU. Verify this in your own experience. Find out if these ideas you have about your Self are true. Without them, your true nature as the limitless Reality is found to be already shining, without the first effort.

"I" is the Perceiving

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:42:00 +0000

We're off pursuing the spiritual search - pursuing this thing called enlightenment. We want it badly, why - we're not sure. There is a vague feeling that it will bring us bliss, even though we aren't sure what that means. We believe it will bring happiness, solve all our problems, bring everlasting peace. Yet we search for this thing called enlightenment within the same paradigm that we search for everything else - we want it as another possession, another achievement, another goal met. Then we will go write a blog or a book and our lives will forever be changed for the better.

We take our freshly-delivered advaita books to the "reading room" - sit on our porcelain throne of enlightenment - intensely pore over every word while our legs go numb and the rest of the family demands access to the facilities. We are mining for that one gold nugget which will flip some switch, shift our perception somehow, make reality appear as it really is, reveal the beautiful oneness which is hiding somehow under the covers.

What we don't realize, what we're too stubborn to notice, is that we're standing on the platform built from concepts and then trying to dissect the concepts. Yet to truly dissect them, we would have to disassemble the platform itself, the very ground upon which we stand. We would have to sacrifice the very life story, the core of our identity as an individual, and we're either not ready to do that or we're afraid of the unknown.

Therefore we march on anyway - we're frustrated and confused... we meet paradox with intellect - certain that we can eventually figure it out. We apply all the mental elbow grease we can muster - yet we always fail to "get it".

We read - you are already THAT - you already HAVE it. You already ARE what you are seeking. Yet that doesn't satisfy - what we believe we are and have, is not good enough. We don't LIKE what we ARE - we want enlightenment to SAVE us, save us from ourselves, from our awful decisions, from our incessant anxiety, from our obsessive personality, from our depressed state of mind. Therefore THIS CANNOT BE IT! It MUST be something else, it MUST come in the future as something different, as something better.

So we pull and pull, and the identity as "seeker" gets tighter and tighter. We don't realize that in rejecting THIS, this very moment, whatever it is, we tighten the noose of identification - we take THIS to suck really bad, we cannot imagine that THIS is IT. We don't WANT - THIS - to be IT.

Isn't this the situation?

So it's not that the pointers are ineffective. It's not that the so-called teachings are wrong. It's that they are immediately rejected - they become boring - they don't satisfy our IDEAL of what enlightenment is supposed to be.

It's like going down a dead-end path - we just keep prodding on even though we see the signs. We just cannot fathom that THIS could be IT. How could it be, when THIS brings so much suffering, so much pain, war, depression, discontent.... How could THIS be it, when I don't understand what nonduality means yet, when I haven't "got it" yet?

How would you know if you were enlightened? What is the expectation? Anything you can say would be an arrival of something, a happening, a new situation, a new state, a new experience - hopefully a good or blissful one, yes?

So without exception - there is an expectation placed upon enlightenment as an arrival - whatever it is, we believe we'll know it when we see it come.

Therefore the absolute belief is that you don't have it now but can get it through seeking.

This is false.

Vedanta says that enlightenment is not the arrival of a new "state". It's simply the removal of ignorance about your true Self. So your true Self is already the case, only there is ignorance about it - there are false concepts in play, coloring reality as dualistic, coloring reality as made up of subject and object.

Vedanta says that the "mature seeker" - this means one who is ready to discard the false, ready to lay aside anything which has been accumulated in beliefs - the "mature seeker" is on the verge of self-discovery. This doesn't mean they are ready for a new experience, ready for a new "state", primed to receive this so-called wisdom.

This means that the ignorance isn't being held on to anymore - the beliefs and concepts aren't being clinged to with a death grip. The fear surrounding loss of individuality is fading fast - there is a willingness to surrender, an openness to reality, as it IS, not as it's conceptualized.

So ignorance is like a veil - obscuring reality - it's not really hidden but it's like a dirty mirror - skewing the reflection. The falling away of ignorance is like cleaning the mirror, discarding the dirty bits and polishing the surface until it shines.

Then reality is reflected cleanly - ignorance is no longer obscuring. And what is this ignorance?

Ignorance of your Self is taking yourself to be limited. Taking yourself to be limited by time (you were born and will die) and taking yourself to be limited by space - you are "here" and the world is "out there". It is this basic idea about yourself that is the only bondage.

So take a close look at those concepts - are they true? Are you, in fact, limited by time and space? Where exactly is this limitation found? Where are the boundaries? Where are the lines drawn?

In order to take ourselves as limited by space, we must be a "thing" - that thing is the body. We take the outside world to be not-"I" - yet we take the body to be "I". But the body is part of the physical world, is it not? The body appears TO "I", does it not? So the "mature seeker" properly discerns what "I" is and what "I" is not.

Are thoughts "I"? Thoughts appear TO "I", yes? Thoughts are objective to "I", which is purely subjective in nature. "I" objectifies thought, yes? So whatever "I" actually is, it is not the body or thoughts.

We include in this inquiry feelings, emotions, states of mind, sensations, all perceptions, knowledge, ignorance, memories, imagination. Every bit of this comes via some means of knowledge - every bit appears TO "I" - yet "I" never appears in this way.

"I" is not known because of our typical means of knowledge. Therefore a new means of knowledge must come in - that is called "Self-Knowledge" - Vedanta is a valid means of knowledge.

So Vedanta says - "I" has no attributes which can be described. "I" does not appear objectively. "I" is not known via perceptions, concepts, memory, imagination... yet do you know "I"? Do you know OF "I"?

Yes. You intimately know this "I". "I" is the most intimate aspect of being, is it not? Only "I" is tied up with "things" which appear TO "I", like the body and thoughts. So we discern between "I" and not-"I".

And we find, if we're earnest and open, that "I" is something entirely unexpected. "I" is that presence of perceiving, that activity of knowing, that "awareness" which is the very core of all experience. That "I" cannot be said to be the "knower", because the "knower" is necessarily another limited "thing" and dependent on an object to be known.

We find that these limitations cannot actually apply to "I" at all. "I" is not objectifiable - it has no attributes. "I", although it is intimately known at all times, is not describable - it is simply the unchanging background of perceiving upon which the idea of "perceiver" and "perceived" come and go.

"I" is found to be always the case, always present and is the awareness itself, the fact of aware presence. Even the idea of time and space are dependent on this "I"-ness or always-here-always-aware-ness. "I" is not dependent on time or space, therefore it is not limited by them. It entirely transcends time and space, although this is very subtle.

So Vedanta says that there is only ONE "I" - one subjectivity which objectifies everything yet never objectifies another "I". That "I" is YOU.

Instead of brushing off the pointers as already-heard or too simple, instead of ignoring certain messages depending on the appearance of the messenger, ask one simple question - What IS "I"?

What really IS "I"? Is it an object? Can "I" be perceived? Or is "I" the perceiving?

Finally Home

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:18:00 +0000

Once all the myths surrounding spirituality are played with a bit and then discarded, once the special states and powers of the enlightened are coveted and eventually recognized to be false, a new openness is arrived at.

The material gains and positions in life have lost their shine. No matter what has been achieved, nothing has filled that hole. Nothing has bridged that gap we know and try to cross through spirituality. At some point a seriousness comes in, a new desire which swallows up all these peripheral desires, a fatigue at playing the spiritual games. This desire is the desire for freedom, the desire to know your Self, without the garbage dragged along through a lifetime of seeking.

At once a new earnestness comes in - a willingness to reach beyond the set of issued beliefs, the default assumptions which carve out what we call "existence". No longer is there immediate discarding of these direct pointers but a new appetite for them, using them like a sharp tool which cuts through the amassed knowledge and translations from which we live.

A new freedom comes in, a freedom to question everything, a freedom to seriously question each and every thought. It changes from a general wide floodlight in which we wade to a sharp spotlight shone upon the very root or foundation of our very existence.

We begin to question the very essence of all living and seeking - the idea that I am an individual, that I am a person, a human being, a separate and temporary entity. Although this idea is quite depressing, that I come into existence and wait for the time I will die, it's held onto with all our might, simply because, even though it's a doomed existence, it's all we know. We supplant that fear and anxiety with the generated beliefs in an afterlife, in reincarnation, and from there we get hooked on religious dogma.

We may turn to Vedanta, but it matters not what it is. Anything which makes us seriously question what we have taken on in the form of beliefs will do. Anything which kicks us in the gut, slaps us in the face hard enough, wakes us up to the daydream, the spellbinding nature of imagination, will do.

That's why Vedanta is sometimes called "an occasion for doubt".

We know that something exists. Something IS. Yet we do not know what it is. The mind races and expertly constructs a world, yet to do so requires the existence of separate parts. The existence of those separate parts, this idea of "thingness" is entirely imagination. Nothing exists separately. This computer, this desk, this room, this house, this planet, this universe - all of these things are only mental separations, concepts, divisions in mind only but not in Reality.

Reality is One, one Wholeness, which cannot be divided by the mind. This Wholeness is all there is, and this Wholeness is not found elsewhere - it is only ever THIS, right here and now. Any part, any piece which the mind creates, a chair, a tree, a body, a molecule, a cell - any part is a conceptual creation, not an actual separation.

When we are looking as an individual, there is a necessity for these parts to be real, simply because if they were not real "things", then the very individual who is looking would also not be real. Therefore this idea of "thingness" is critical to the idea of the individual, and vice versa.

The individual person is entirely a creation of imagination and assumption. It cannot be found. It was learned and taken on as true, yet it crumbles the instant it's seriously questioned.

So what changes? In one way, everything. Yet in a very concrete way, nothing at all changes. The very mechanism of this dualistic conceptualization is necessary for Reality to know itself. So I am writing a blog, you are reading it. There is the experience of an individual, yet that experience is known with conviction to be a creation of conceptualization, of imagination. Therefore it can go on doing it - whatever comes is already THAT - whatever arises is simply a matter of the potentiality of Reality, of existence, expressing itself in many ways, yet never once dividing itself.

It's here until it's not. And while it's here, it's perfect. It's a perfect manifestation of Reality - we may say it's Oneness expressing itself as manyness.

We may say the essence is Life - that Intelligence which IS the form AND functioning of the universe - that Intelligence known as the planet and the cell, the quark and the cloud, the tree and the galaxy.

Or we may say nothing at all.

So as we walk outside, look up at the trees, the clouds, the planets - Life is literally looking at itself. ME-seeing becomes Life seeing. ME-seeing becomes Seeing-Oneness, yet that is also too much.

We sometimes just say - what you are is the SEEING itself.

If that earnestness comes - the falseness of imagination will stand no chance, because this reality of separate parts is of flimsy construction, entirely mind-made. The mind will turn upon itself, devour itself, look beyond itself until all it can find is complete stillness and silence - it is that unchanging, indefinable background which is the Absolute Reality, staring back at it.

If that earnestness is strong, if the mind has finally had enough, then it will not retreat. It will at once recognize that it is, after all, finally home.

The Engine of Duality

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 09:34:00 +0000

As the mind rocks back and forth between seeking something objective, to looking within and finding nothing at all, the spiritual search is like a journey. The quest is to come to know this "state" of peace, this final situation where I no longer suffer.

We investigate the sense of Self to no avail - because we're forever trying to objectify it. That's what the mind does. It's job is to objectify, to classify, to divide. The mind is itself the engine of duality.

As we watch the mind, tossing and turning, bouncing off the walls, analyzing paradox with a sharp intellect, there may come a sense of frustration and confusion. This is natural because the mind can never figure out that which is beyond it's scope - beyond it's capabilities. Any understanding that could come can ONLY be a conceptual understanding, because understanding happens in mind.

So can we get out of mind? Can we make it stop? No. We either remain locked into identification with this duality machine or we realize that what we are is already beyond. There is no process to becoming NOT mind, because what you are is already NOT mind.

And this isn't a milestone, not an achievement - it's recognized to be the case already. The fact is that you do nothing but describe thoughts, describe states of mind, describe concepts and ideas. The only way this can happen is if you are already prior to mind, observing mind - what you are is the background on which mind plays.

So as this swirling mind runs about - bouncing around, circling over and over - there comes a sense of futility and frustration at the mind. It wants to take apart everything - analyze it - break it into parts and see how it works, like a small child with a new toy. At some point this activity may pause.

And in that pause, in that mental sabbatical from the search, the slightest thing may be seen - a sunrise, a face, a tree - without that engine raging, without the automatic and habitual conceptual creation of the insistence of subject and object, no one can be found to be looking at a tree. No tree can be found - there is only the looking, only the present THIS-ness, before the mind can rebound and come rushing in to split it all up.

It is in the abeyance of mind which brings the absence of the idea of separate self-ness. It is in the absence of thought where duality falls away as mirage. And then it comes rushing back.

Is this a failure? Is this just another sign of your continued failure in the spiritual search. No! In this, it may be seen that it is the mind itself which creates this idea of "thingness", of separation, of subject-object, of "someone" looking and a "tree' to be seen.

While mind was absent, there was no tree and no looker. Even calling it looking or knowing or awareness was too much. There was only the immediacy - the totality - which included the absence of mind and presently includes the presence of mind. Once mind returns that engine of duality is back hard at work. But it is no longer spellbinding. The mechanism has been recognized. The snake is seen to be only rope, and no matter how many times we turn out the lights, we can never again really be fooled by the shape of "snake".

Recognize that it is only the idea in mind of "thingness" which creates the idea of separation, subject-object, etc. And even if mind is actively dividing everything, analyzing - the idea that it's a separate mind or "thing" is another one of it's products.

Right now, just pause thought. As often as you can, just pause thought. Pause the incessant activity to figure it all out, to solve the "advaita puzzle". It doesn't need to be figured out. In that pause, no idea of becoming is there. No idea of separate self is there. No idea of thingness is there.

All that is there is indescribable being.

Discerning "I AM"

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:48:00 +0000

We're out looking FOR something in the spiritual search. We're reading a book or a blog, hoping a phrase will suddenly transport us into Enlightenment, which will be what? An experience. A new "state". We're not searching for what we are, we're searching for a better "state", one that isn't like the current one, or the one's we dread, like suffering or grief or worry or sadness or depression. This "new" state will be permanent happiness, which is what we conceptualize "bliss" as. This "new" state will be permanent something, but whatever that something is, it will be better than the ones we presently don't like.

Isn't that what the spiritual search is for you?

And this idea of spirituality or enlightenment or whatever label you like to use, as long as this is the idea of what it's all about, frustration will continue. Confusion will continue. Because it's not a new "state". It's not permanent happiness for you, the individual. It has nothing at all to do with any individual. The individual who will get this new state IS the veil itself, the obscuring factor to seeing what this is all about.

We must stop looking FOR something, for some new state, for something achieved by proper seeking, for something received anew. We must directly question and investigate this idea of an individual, a separate self, an independent entity which was born separate of the world.

The most certain thing you know is that you ARE, you exist. We confirm this when we say "I AM". "I AM"-ness isn't conceptual, you didn't have to make it up, you didn't have to learn it, you didn't have to be TAUGHT that you exist. You don't have to rely on any memory to know that you ARE. You don't have to project a future to know that you ARE. Right here and now, you know without any supporting evidence, that you ARE. THAT YOU ARE is self-evident.

Why is it self-evident? What is it, that makes your existence self-evident? What is it BECAUSE OF WHICH you can claim with certainty - "I AM"?

Is it because there are thoughts? Is it "I think, therefore I am"? If thoughts pause, what remains to be aware of the pause? If there is a brain injury or a stroke and thoughts stop, what remains to know of this absence of thought? If no thought comes to claim - "I AM" - do you cease to exist? Is that certainty of existence gone? No.

Is it because there is a body? There are hands appearing now. Does that provide that certainty of "I AM"? There is breathing being felt. Does that provide that certainty of "I AM"? No. There is something which is aware of the breathing and body-form.

Isn't that "something" which is aware of the thoughts, the breathing, the body-form, isn't THAT why you know you exist? Isn't that what is referred to with the words "I AM"? Isn't that actually what we mean when we say "I"? But due to inattention and lack of precise discernment between the body-mind and that PURE "I" or "I AM"-ness, that sense of existence is wrapped up with this objective content, this body-mind, and then the idea is created of a person, an individual, a separate entity, someone who came into existence and will eventually pass out of existence. Cease to exist.

It is simply a confusion of that already-present "I AM"-ness with the objective qualities of appearance or awareness which creates the identification AS a person, as ME.

That "something" is always-here - always the basis or foundation or background or principle upon which or in which these passing or temporary objects come. That "something" isn't an achievement, not a product of seeking. It's not found anew. It's recognized. It's revealed to have always been there, only overlooked in focus on the objective, in identification WITH the objective, in conceptualization or belief/assumption that the objective IS what you are. It's overlooked due to taking yourself TO BE a body, with a mind.

And this idea IS the false limitation, believing yourself to be a body IS the prison itself, the bondage from which we seek freedom. This idea IS the very core of suffering.

You know that you are always-here - THAT is the reason you're certain of your existence, that always-here-ness is self-evident, nonconceptual. Discern between the mind's translation of "I AM", which means "I AM" this and that, and the true "I AM", which is pure always-here-ness, pure background of knowing, the present SEEING or condition of awakeness. THAT isn't in need of a search. THAT isn't hidden and requiring a search. It's just a mix-up - a simple confusion of ephemeral "thingness" with the obvious and rock-solid being/knowing that you are.

The Snowflake

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 23:03:00 +0000

We take ourselves to be an entity, a person who did not exist, who came into existence, and is heading for the end of existence again. That person is contained within this body, with a little radio transmitter called thought, chattering all the time, interacting with other unfortunate bodies, all together in this one large and doomed existence. We're all trying our best to make the most of it, trying to push to the back burner, the fact that our ultimate end is certain.

We're like the snowflake, which comes into existence with brilliance, floats gracefully down and then perishes. And while the snowflake is here, it's unique, and beautiful.

But the snowflake is only a manifestation - an appearance. It is formed from water - water is in liquid form, it is evaporated and becomes moisture in the air. That moisture freezes and becomes ice. That little formation takes shape in unique ways, comes down large and small. Once again it melts back into water.

The essence of that manifestation, that appearance, is only water. Water is never lost - it only changes form. It appears as a snowflake, a raindrop, a mist of fog, a pond or the ocean.

Yet the very essence never changes.

You take yourself to be the snowflake but miss your true essence as water. You take yourself to be the individual person, born only to later die. In fact you are the very essence, the one intelligence, the Being of beings, the very nature of existence itself.

What you are, in essence, was never born and cannot die. What you are, in essence, is all "things" - the very form and function of the body, mind, and world, which seem to come into existence, hang around a while, and pass on. Their existence is dependent on you.

You are the source. You appear in infinite, unique and wonderful ways.

You are One, without a second

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:44:00 +0000

The world is changing constantly - yet where is it going? Where is it coming from? Can you capture a moment ago or a moment to come? Is the past in actual existence somewhere? Does a present thought, which refers to the past, actually go anywhere? Isn't that image of the past a present image? Isn't that image of the future a present image? Is it EVER anything else?

In the swing of memory and imagination, anticipation and regret, the illusion of time holds a tight squeeze. We're forever wondering if we "should have" or "might be".

In this, we miss what we ARE. We want to BUILD reality, construct the IMAGE of what we are through this back and forth, past and future - ever missing that these are always only stories about what we are - the life story is dependent on this splitting of attention between past and future.

You are not a separate entity, carried on through time, surviving and watching time go by. You are not a separate being, wishing for the next moment to be better than the last.

You are THIS MOMENT. This moment is like a container - a nondual block which has no edges or boundaries - within this container appears the thoughts, the memories and imagination which create the illusion of time. Then in this swinging pendulum of thought, the feeling of ME moving IN TIME seems to be reality.

Yet when we recognize the ever-present knowing or awareness - when we recognize that this activity of knowing is going on in the immediacy of right now, always right now - then it's clear that this immediate knowing is never the past or future. There is only present thoughts. Present memories of past times. Present anticipation of a future time. Always present. Always here and now.

Never moving away from, never outside of, this "container of Now".

We're ever focused on the changing contents within the container, taking ourselves to be a log, floating on the river of time. And in this we miss the solid, unchanging, still Presence of Self. We miss that what we ARE is THAT IN WHICH these changes take place - THAT IN WHICH these stories are woven, strung together in memory, bound and restricted with the false concept of "ME-the-individual."

Your true nature is not a limited individual - this is only an idea - a concept - your true nature is infinite fullness, wholeness, Oneness - the very container, the very "space" in which these stories play out and subside.

And this isn't something which is attained - the realization of this may or may not come - but it changes absolutely nothing. What IS, right here and now, is Advaita, Oneness, Wholeness. It's presently being interpreted through the prism of beliefs called "individual". An individual requires a world. There is no individual nor world - there is only the present and blindingly obvious Wholeness which never requires a search to find, never requires enlightenment to know, never requires a seeker to become.

It is the very idea of the individual seeker which obscures this Wholeness. In giving up the individual, Wholeness is found to already be the case. But there is no individual to give up anything.

So what remains to be done? Will proper analysis bring it? Will reading more and more bring it? No - because nothing comes in new. Nothing is gained.

Realization is recognition that THIS RIGHT HERE and NOW - IS IT. THIS, whatever THIS might be labeled or conceptualized as, is it. THIS is what the seeking is all about. THIS is what all the pointers are pointing to. THIS present moment, no matter how it's "behaving", no matter if it's good or bad, no matter if it's spiritual or mundane, no matter if it's confusion or clarity. THIS is it.

WHAT this is, is always the domain of the mind. The mind's job is to quantify THIS, to think about the past and project into the future. The mind's job is to split up THIS into parts, into pieces, and that means WHAT-YOU-ARE must be a thing also. But that's just the mind's analysis. You are not a separate "thing" - your actual essence is "all things" - or better said - the One without a second.

New Blog - Finding Common Ground

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:16:00 +0000

There is a new blog in the works. It's intended to show the commonality in expressions between all the differing "pointers" or paths or philosophies/religions, including the seemingly "split" messages of Nonduality.

The blog may "piss off" a few, but that's to be expected. Holding on to one viewpoint is a condition of the mind.

In the Hsin Hsin Ming, Seng Ts'an said:

"Tao is self-evident to one with no preferences.
When like and dislike are absent, the Real is obvious and clear.
Make the slightest distinction, however,
and it appears disguised as heaven and earth."

Reality has no "preferred philosophy". Truth is not subject to spiritual "market share". Many so-called paths and traditions are clear. If the message is clear, even if the so-called messenger does not fit the so-called "nonduality" mold, it will be shared.

The blog is http://randallfriend.blogspot.com.

The Boogeyman

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:05:00 +0000

Reality is clear and obvious. Wakefulness is already the case. SEEING is happening. Yet in identification and focus on the objective content of Consciousness, the idea of the individual becomes a central reference, an "entity" who exists, who came into existence and will cease to exist. Then there is "someone" who sees. Then there is a template of "ME-SEEING".

Inquire into this idea of the individual - what is it? WHERE is it? How do you know OF it? Is it a sensation? Is it a perception? Is it an idea (thought)?

Looking closely, it is found to be an idea or belief, a thought-story, which references something that isn't obvious, that isn't present, that has no direct evidence or experience. The entirety of the individual is thought-belief. That is the entire make-up or substance of the individual.

It is like the child who, at night, will not open their closet doors because they believe the boogeyman is in there. That belief leads to fear, although in reality there is no boogeyman. Believing it to be factual, the child suffers greatly. When the parents finally open the doors, no one is found hiding, and the child relaxes.

Open the doors, don't be afraid. Pull back the curtains and examine what you take yourself to be. The individual cannot exist without belief.

SEEING is happening, yet no "seer" can ever be found.

Can you find yourself?

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 11:57:00 +0000

Can you find yourself? Can you locate yourself?

You can find the body and thoughts. But how are these known? What you are must be prior to, knowing the body and thoughts.

Can you find the knowing, or can you only BE the knowing?

Finding yourself is simply recognizing that knowing is happening, always, and in that knowing, the objective content comes and goes.

The spiritual search is about finding out "what am I?" But it's taken off on a wild-goose chase towards something objective. It's seen as the search for a special state, a great experience, a permanent change in the appearance. Yet that's missing the point.

To find the answer to "what am I", we are looking for some "thing", some indication which we will be aware OF, that will finally show what we are. Yet what you are is THAT FROM WHICH the looking is happening.

Without any "spiritual change", seeing is happening. And that SEEING is the very basis for any experience to be known, even the experiences we call "body-mind".

So we must take a look at the identification, because that is where the mind ties up this seeing with these "objects".

We say "I am thinking" when in fact thinking is an appearance IN the seeing. You are aware of thoughts.

We say "I am in pain" when in fact pain and the body are appearances IN the seeing. You are aware of the pain and the body.

We say "I am sleepy" when in fact the sensation of drowsiness appears IN the seeing. You are aware of that and all other sensations.

See how this "I AM-ness" is tied or mixed up or confused with the "happenings". What you are is stable, still, rock-solid, pure and formless SEEING. Even if motion happens, even if sound happens, even if activity happens, it's all appearing TO or IN the SEEING.

We say "I am talking". Talking is happening to or by no one. The sense of a separate "I" who is DOING IT is a conceptual idea, an assumption, a learned belief, a taking for granted of something which has no actual direct evidence.

Notice how all these "things", all these activities are identified with through this mechanism of mind, through placing this "I AM-ness" or certainty of existence or present seeing or presence awareness or intelligence - placing this as the foundation of some separate entity who exists apart from the appearance, who exists separately from the world which is being SEEN.

The "seer" and the "seen" are both concepts.

Mental analysis is always futile, except for the process of running out of analytical gas, running down each path until it comes to a dead end, using up the mind until it's lying there, bleeding from abuse, unable to take another step in continuing to conceptualize about spirituality or nonduality or advaita or whatever the next spiritual "fix" is.

Once it is seen that the mind creates this idea of "me-the-separate-person", once it is seen that this mechanism is the very creation of duality, the idea of "ME-SEEING", once it is seen how thoughts/concepts create the idea that this "I AM-ness" IS the body-mind, then it immediately falls away. It's like the mirage, which appears to be water, yet when honestly looked at, is seen to be a reflection.

So the mirage continues to appear as water. Yet the "one" who is DOING any of it falls away. It doesn't fall away in a sweep of spiritual magic. It falls away like any other belief which is investigated and found to be false.

Thinking is happening but there is no thinker.
Sleepy is happening but no one is sleepy.
Hungry is happening but no one is hungry.
Driving is happening but there is no driver.
Enlightenment may happen but there is no one to be enlightened.

You can not, and truly never COULD find yourself in any of these.

Looking from I AM

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 02:37:00 +0000

What is the spiritual search about? It's about enlightenment. And what is enlightenment? It's taken to be some perfect state, some blissful experience. It's something new, something different.

Yet when it's read about - the pointers all suggest enlightenment isn't about these things. It's about the absence of the individual, it's pointing to the realization that there is no one there to attain anything like enlightenment.

But this is continually glossed over. This is overlooked, shoved aside... from the perspective of the individual we keep marching toward that concept of enlightenment, and then wonder why there is so much frustration. We wonder why "I'm not there yet." We wonder why "I only have an intellectual understanding." It's still all about the individual, and the individual is itself the illusion.

Why is the individual such a difficult thing to see through? It's not only difficult, it's impossible to see through, because it doesn't exist. Present SEEING isn't being DONE BY an individual, yet that's the template or assumption.

On top of pure SEEING, the idea of "doership" is applied to the seeing.

The spiritual search is really an attempt to fill that hole, to fill the sense of lack, to finally find the wholeness which is seemingly missing. This hole is filled with many things - relationships, drugs, alcohol, food, material things, money... once these no longer satisfy then something bigger is sought after. Now that hole will be filled with spiritual bliss.

Yet continuing to seek from within the same old concepts will be just more of the same. Continuing to fill that hole with more experiences (and enlightenment is seen as the ultimate experience) - will only bring more frustration.

The spiritual search is ultimately about finding out what you are. Right now you take yourself to be a person, a body-mind, separate and apart from the world, seeking wholeness within the world, to have some sort of permanently blissful experience. But this is and will continue to be false, no matter how it's conceptualized.

What you are is NOT the body, not the mind, not the person. These are only concepts. What you are isn't missing. It's not in need of a search. It's pointed out in various ways but it's extremely simple and obvious already. It's already intimately known. Yet it's missed because the focus continues to be about the objective content of experience. It's looked FOR from the perspective OF the individual.

You are THAT which is presently looking - the seeing prior to all these concepts. You are THAT which is ever-present and unchanging, while the body, thoughts and world change. And THAT is always here but it's mixed up with the objective content and identification with body-mind or thoughts or intellect or idea of a "person" or concept of an individual or the name or the job or the role in life.

If you say "I AM" - you know that to be true. How do you know? It's BECAUSE OF that presence that you are. It's because you already know yourself. The identification is mixing up this knowledge of yourself with objects of perception. Thoughts are objects of perception, yet we say "I AM thinking." The body is an object of perception, yet we say "I AM fat" or "I AM getting old" or "I AM unhappy about my body".

See how this immediacy of presence is mixed up with the objective content. See that thoughts and body are always and ever objective to something. That something isn't objective. That something is always there. That something is the very knowing or perceiving or experiencing - the background of all that appears.

When we say "I AM", we are referring to the body-mind in error. See how the mind translates that immediacy of knowing into the words "I AM". "I AM" is the confirmation that you exist - yet it's twisted up with the body-mind. That pure "I AM-ness" isn't the body-mind at all.

Find out what that "I AM" truly is. We might say you are looking FROM "I AM".

The openness of "I AM"

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 01:59:00 +0000

Looking for wholeness presupposes the present lack of wholeness. It presupposes the concept of separation, and from there the search for wholeness or oneness goes on.

How can the next thought of a special spiritual state, some blissful state, whatever that concept of enlightenment is - how can that even arise as a future state when it's read over and over that what you are seeking, you already are?

Instead of seeking some future state, something different than THIS, right here and now, take a close look at now, at this, right here. If you are already that, if this is all there is, then something about this moment MUST be it. It must have to do with this moment and not some future moment. It must be something about this present state and not some future state.

The instant a thought comes about BECOMING something, it should be obvious that the search has gone off the rails - seeking something better, something new, and overlooking the very point of the search.

When this happens, return again and again to this very moment. What IS, right now? Remain in that as often as possible. And this moment is divided by concepts. The idea of "ME-SEEING" is a conceptual division.

How do you know yourself, right here and now? You point out the body and thoughts. You point out experiences. You point out feelings. You point out more concepts. But how do you know yourself?

You already intimately know yourself. You are always here, always the presence which is the basis for this moment. You are always the capacity for all experience. You are always the knowing in which the knower and the known arise.

Except you call yourself body. You call yourself mind or thoughts or intellect. You apply an objective experience to yourself, when all the while you are the subjective capacity for ALL experience. That is actually quite obvious and not in need of a search, except for all the concepts chased after.

This pure "I" is actually the knowing itself, the "awareness" or subjectivity or openness or wakefulness. But that is translated by the mind as "I AM". So you KNOW that you ARE - you know "I AM". That translation by the mind is an attempt to place "thingness" upon that presence of knowing. And the only "thing" which is convenient is the body, the chattering thoughts, the intellect.

Stay with the pure and absolute certainty of existence - "I AM". Watch as the mind mixes this up with the objective content - body-mind.

In reality every single thing known is arising IN the openness of "I AM". And the body is an object of knowledge. Thoughts are objects of knowledge. Each of these changes, comes and goes, is subject to the polarity of opposites. The pure "I" or "I AM-ness" is the background of knowing, ever-present and never changing, watching even Consciousness come with it's play of life and death, and fade into the darkness, stillness and natural "state" we call deep sleep.

Questions from the spiritual path

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:40:00 +0000

How can I find the Self? (He owes me money.)

What color is Enlightenment? I hear it's a light shade of periwinkle.

Does Enlightenment improve your sex life? Will Enlightenment help with male pattern balding? Do Guru's drive Ferrari's? Come on - my current pick up lines aren't working!

Have you eaten your rice porridge yet? Have you washed your bowl, you freakin' slob?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around?

What's the deal with the Zen kid riding the damn Ox all the time? Doesn't he have homework to do or something?

Does being infinite make you look fat?

Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, pay your damn utility bill.

"While doing an advanced yoga posture, I experience a deep darkness that seems to go on forever. Is this enlightenment?" - You're doing it wrong, that's your colon.

A Riddle

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Do you want to understand Nonduality?

Take the "thingness" away.

How will you enjoy your understanding?

Who remains to understand?

Wholeness

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:37:00 +0000

Right here and now, your true essence is wholeness. There is nothing lacking, nothing to get, nothing to gain. You are perfect before the next seeking thought, before the next book is read, before the next meditation.

Wholeness is your true nature. Reality is one without the possibility of a second, and you are THAT. The very essence of all appearance is that Oneness. Yet there is a sticking point - "I must find the answers."

It is believed that if you don't find the answers, then you are lacking something. This situation requires the existence of some separate entity who may or may not find answers. This situation suggests that this separate entity is not presently whole and can find wholeness through spirituality.

Yet the Nondual Traditions state that you are ALREADY WHOLE. So seeking wholeness is ABSOLUTELY a sign of missing the point.

Therefore find out where is the assumption that you are NOT whole. Find out what concept or assumption is hanging around and constantly projects the idea that you are NOT Wholeness.

Instead of waiting for some experience to come, some validating flash of wisdom and lights - find out HOW this Wholeness is mistaken for separateness. Look right now at the necessary assumptions which insert themselves at every turn, at the tail end of every "pointer".

It is the belief that YOU are a separate entity, born and later to die.

So examine this belief. Find out it's nature. Find out what exactly this separate entity is supposed to be. See that it's a mixture.

It's a mixture of the CERTAINTY of existence - what the mind calls "I AM" - and the objective content called "body-mind".

SEE that the difficulty in seeing through this false separate entity is there BECAUSE that "I AM-ness" is so strong and certain.

Vedanta says we must discriminate between reality and assumption. Reality is this unspoken or non-conceptual "I AM-ness" - the pure and certain knowledge that you ARE. THAT is tied up with the closest objects - the mind believes that this certainty of I AM MUST BE some "thing". So the most convenient "thing" is body-mind.

And AS a body-mind, you must have an opposite. AS a body-mind, your opposite is the world. AS a body-mind, you must have a limited duration and distance - space and time.

But you NEVER WERE limited in this way. It is only due to the mistaken mixture of this certainty of existence with objective content that this supposed "separate entity" is believed in.

Recognize that you ARE - find out why you are so certain. It isn't because you see a body and thoughts. It is because you are ALWAYS HERE and ALWAYS AWARE. That simple, obvious and ever-present being/knowing is IT. THAT survives the coming and going of Consciousness. THAT is the very essence of all appearance - no appearance has ever BEEN without that knowing presence.

Recognize this certain and intimate knowledge of existence - it IS before the next thought comes, taking this immediacy as some "thing", some separate and limited "thing".

The wholeness which is being sought after is always what you ARE. Seeking it requires that wholeness to be conceptualized into some "thing" - the very assumption obscures what is being sought.

The mirage of ME-SEEING-WORLD

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:33:00 +0000

Right now, what is going on?

"I am reading a blog".

Is this absolutely true? This statement requires many layers of assumption. Are you truly looking at a computer screen? Is there a computer screen outside of you, somewhere "out there"? Is there someone doing the reading? Where did this entire paradigm or template come from?

How did it get lined up this way? That there is "someone" here and a screen "there" - and "I'm reading". Is that actual direct experience?

Take a close look - is it really lined up that way? Is there really someone seeing a screen? Without any spiritual experiences - just in direct immediate experience right here and now, is there actually a ME-SEEING-WORLD?

The assumption MUST pop up - if this immediacy is questioned - the assumption of ME-SEEING-WORLD MUST pop up - but HOW do you know? Are you ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that there is a ME-SEEING-WORLD?

It's absolutely only an assumption. This layout is only assumed. The totality of THIS, right here and now, isn't ME-SEEING anything, is it? This layout or template is purely an assumption. That "screen over there" is not really "over there" or "out there", is it?

Right now, before the spiritual search is all wrapped up nicely, all figured out, before that magical insight or special spiritual experience is revealed - THIS right here and now isn't ME-SEEING-WORLD.

Can you see the assumption? Can it ever be anything BUT an assumption? So what IS, right here and now, before the next spiritual insight?

What IS, is nondual reality. THIS is it. Whatever THIS might be assumed to be, whatever THIS might be conceptualized AS, whatever THIS might be in thought - THIS is Advaita - not-two. Not two "things" - not a ME SEEING a WORLD. There is no ME seeing anything. There is only THIS, and the ME-SEEING comes after - in thought - applied after - applied on top of the immediacy of THIS.

There is an enduring concept that once this is all grasped, that the world will change, that perception or experience will change. The point is that THIS is ALREADY Oneness or Advaita - the filter or template or assumptions or translations ON TOP OF it VEIL THIS.

Instead of seeking special spiritual experiences, which may come but will always pass - take a hard look at THIS, notice that this assumption of ME-SEEING-WORLD MUST come up every single time - it comes up automatically due to it being taken as absolutely true and beyond investigation.

ME-SEEING-WORLD is the platform from which the search is undertaken. When that platform is questioned, it falls away naturally, just like a mirage.

Then the entire spiritual search is known to be only a symptom - an attempt at finding something from within a false paradigm. Once the paradigm itself is seen to be obviously false, who remains to seek? Who will benefit from spirituality?

Reality is One Without A Second - right here and now. There MUST BE an assumption to the contrary going on. Instead of seeking some validating experience - recognize the assumption that THIS is NOT IT.

Stop the Bullshit

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:48:00 +0000

Right now, take a look at what you've taken yourself to be.

You take yourself to be an individual, sitting there, reading a blog. You have a beginning and will have an end.

You are seeking something, enlightenment or freedom from suffering. You are reading because there is a hope that something will click, something will make sense, something will happen.

But you must be standing upon a platform of assumptions - there must be a separate person to achieve enlightenment. There must be a separate person who is reading. There must be a separate person for whom something will click.

So just stop and look at what is going on. You are seeking a "state" where there is no separation - you - the individual - are seeking a "state" where there is no individual. You - the individual - are seeking a "state" where the individual is NOT.

How can you resolve this? Can an individual see that there IS no individual? So what are you doing? Why are you seeking? Why are you wasting your time reading this blog?

An individual cannot see that there is no individual.

So what is the point? What is all the fuss about? What the Hell is the point of any of it?

With the existing assumption, that you are an individual doing this, it's a chinese finger trap - the harder you pull, the tighter it gets. The more you seek, the stronger the illusion of the seeker becomes.

So give up! What is the use? As an individual, you will NEVER find what you're seeking, because the answer would require YOU to be non-existent. But there you are, reading, seeking...

The only possible alternative is that the individual isn't actually there - that it's just a translation, a false sensation, a false identification. The only possible alternative is that the individual is ALREADY false.

That would mean that THIS, right here and now, is ALREADY what's being sought after. That would mean that THIS, right here and now, is ALREADY IT. But we don't want to hear that, do we? We don't want THIS to be it, because we think THIS is SHIT - we think THIS is something to be rid of, some speed bump on the way to enlightenment.

As long as we want it to be about something different, something better, something MORE than THIS, right here and now, that YOU-THE-INDIVIDUAL are seeking, then the only alternative is to give up.

As long as the search is undertaken from the perspective of the individual, it's all bullshit - it's a recurring lie - it's a ME who wants enlightenment - it's a ME looking for Oneness. That's always going to be false, no matter how it's sliced and diced, no matter how much the honesty is swept under the rug, no matter how many times THIS is overlooked in preference for some special spiritual state.

THIS is it. Just THIS and nothing else. Is there any room for an individual in THIS?

What can possibly be done to bring about the end of THAT which is already FALSE?

Who doesn't know "I"?

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 13:22:00 +0000

The spiritual search is a search for "what AM I?" - it's a search for truth, for reality - it's a search for the end of suffering - liberation from the bondage of separation.

So wrapped up this way - spirituality is a chore - it's a seeming lifelong process - it's apparently extremely difficult and it's rare that anyone ever discovers the goal laid out in terms of "enlightenment".

Bullshit. This is pure and simple bullshit. As long as these ideas are still there, what IS will continue to be overlooked in preference for some idea of enlightenment, some "state", some special experience.

Do you presently know "I"? Yes. Absolutely. Do you know your Self? Yes. Absolutely. There is absolutely no doubt that you know yourself. You are intimately familiar with your Self, because you have BEEN THERE for a lifetime of experiences.

WHAT you are is what is in doubt. Presently this "I" is taken to be the body, the thoughts, the intellect, the emotions... this "I" is believed to be a temporary "thing", a separate entity trapped in a body, a fragile shell separating "I" from the world "out there".

So THAT you are is never in doubt. "I" is obvious - fully known - but WHAT "I" IS is the question.

Therefore stay with this feeling of "I" - see WHERE the "I"-ness is mistakenly applied to the body-mind and idea of "person" or "ME-as-a-separate-thing". Watch as this "I" is identified or mixed-up or tied-in with the OBJECTIVE content - body/feelings/thoughts...

"I" isn't trapped - "I" isn't in need of liberation - "I" is the knowing, the awareness, the space or capacity IN WHICH the initial idea of "I AM" comes - this "I AM" BECOMES a "thing" in concept - this "I" is ASSUMED to be a "thing" and then it MUST BE the body-mind. And AS a "thing" it MUST have an opposite - something that is NOT-"I" - the opposite of "I AM" as a THING is "world".

"I" is not a thing - "I" is the very opening or capacity which is glaringly, blindingly obvious, right now. It is the space in which these words are appearing. It is the space in which the hands appear on the mouse/keyboard. It is the space in which thoughts come. Yet that space doesn't change and doesn't move. That space of "I" is always there.

If you know this "I", then you fully and completely know yourself. Find out WHAT IS "I".

Seeking THAT which was never lost

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:27:00 +0000

You are not a person. A person is a concept, like "mind" is a concept. There is no such thing as "mind" - mind is only a word used to contain present experiences - thoughts, memories, imagination.

The word "person" is only a concept, a conceptual container used to categorize the body, the personality, the life story, the memories and imagination, the image of ME, the constructed facade or persona, the ego, the propped-up "self", the store-front we call ME.

There is no such thing as a person - person is a concept - it's a belief, that there is someone separate, some entity abiding in that appearance of body-mind, some soul or independent life form...

The idea of ME-the-person comes from indoctrination, from society, the core belief in a bundle of beliefs issued to us at a young age, when we believed in things like "Santa Claus" and the tooth fairy.

The concept of "person" is ingrained and concrete - yet it falls away quite simply upon investigation.

The body is there, thoughts are there - but the "person" is like a ghost, like a phantom, not there in actuality but there under pretense - it's an assertion.... an assumption left unquestioned.

The instant it is questioned, there is doubt. It cannot be taken for granted. The "person" I took myself to be isn't as obvious as I thought. The "person" I took myself to be is only a learned belief. The "person" I took myself to be cannot be found.

The body is there. Thoughts are there. So what AM I? I am THAT which is looking, THAT which is knowing, THAT which is the ever-present openness or subjectivity or "awareness" - THAT has always been there - THAT isn't a "person" after all yet the idea of "person" comes in thought.

YES?

Aren't you here, right now? Yes. Yet YOU are NOT that body nor that mind. YOU are this activity of knowing - what is actually referenced by the word "I"...

You remain unmoved while the body and thoughts do their dance and disappear each night.

You do not think yet thoughts are known because of you.

You are not involved in the activities of the world yet the world cannot BE without YOU.

Once this idea of a separate "person" falls away, known to be a false belief, a mistaken identity, a belief in a dream - then what-you-are becomes blindingly obvious.

If we talk about "things", you are this no-thing-ness, prior to yet the space in which all "things" come and go.

If we recognize the illusory nature of "things" as only appearances - if we recognize that the subject/object equation is simply a translation, not actual reality - if we realize that the appearance and the knowing of the appearance are the SAME THING...

Then - you cannot be found apart from the world. You have lost your meaning, your identity. You have lost your entire life story. The "person" never was. Therefore the "seeker" never was.

And Oneness is no longer something to be sought after. Oneness is your actual Being.

THIS is IT

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:55:00 +0000

THIS is inescapable. THIS cannot be captured in words or knowledge. THIS is an absolute mystery. There is literally NOTHING outside of THIS.

THIS, right here and now, is the only enlightenment there ever is.

THIS is IT. And THIS is YOU.

The instant THIS is sought after, THIS is missed.

So what is left to be done?

Nothing at all. THIS is already perfect.

The world depends on "I"

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 02:20:00 +0000

Something present right here and now never moves.

Something is not affected by the changing situations, thoughts, feelings, emotions.

Something is stable as the world is unsteady.

Something is rock-solid as the sense of a separate self is a fleeting image.

What is this? What is it that never changes as every single "thing" changes? What is it that remains as every single "thing" comes and goes?

Isn't it your own presence?

As the body changes - you ARE. As the thoughts change, come and go - you ARE. You are the rock-solid, immovable and unchanging presence. And that presence is not hidden. It is absolutely intimately known right this very moment. You know "I AM".

I AM.

I AM the body is an abstraction. I AM thoughts or I AM the mind is assumption. This is only learned, only believed yet not evident.

I AM is evident - Self-evident.

Remain in that I AM-ness - stay with it - follow the sense of "I". Does the true "I" ever change? Does the true "I" ever come and go?

Doesn't the world only appear because of that "I"? Doesn't the world depend on that "I"?

"I" never comes and goes

avastu0@gmail.com (Randall Friend) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 14:20:00 +0000

There is an experience right here and now - a computer screen, words, keyboard. There is an assumption that there is a "someone seeing" the screen, words and keyboard. That "someone" is apparently evident because of what?

How do you know yourself?

Maybe the hands are seen on the keyboard. Is that evidence of a "someone" there? Maybe the arms are seen, attached to the hands. Is that evidence of a "someone" there?

There is a torso seen attached to the arms. Is that evidence of a "someone" there? The toes are felt to wiggle - is that evidence of a "someone" there?

Breathing is felt. Is that evidence of a "someone" there? Heartbeat is felt. Is that evidence of a "someone" there?

Who knows all these "things"?

Thoughts are known. Is that evidence of a "separate ME"? Is the coming and going of thoughts evidence of a thinker? Thoughts are evident yet where is the thinker? Thoughts appear but does the thinker appear?

This question is the EXACT point of inquiry. Does the thinker appear?

The assumption of a thinker comes because of what? Because you know you ARE. Because you know you exist. Therefore the assumption of "being the thinker" is tied or mixed up with the obviousness of existence.

I know I am so I MUST BE the thinker. Yes?

Yet there is no direct evidence of this. Thoughts are there but there is no evidence of a thinker. In direct experience, thoughts appear. You ARE. They aren't tied in together except in assumption. Thoughts are paused - you ARE. Thoughts come - you ARE. Thoughts are absent - you ARE. Is that the evidence that you are the thinker? No - it's only pointing out that you ARE whether thoughts are present or not.

So "I am the thinker" is an assumption. There is no evidence that you are the thinker.

You ARE and you know it how? Because of thoughts? No. Because of the presence of breathing or heartbeat? No. Because of the presence of wiggling foot, torso, arms and hands? No.

You KNOW you ARE because of what? Because of the idea of a ME? No. That is also appearance - more thought.

You KNOW you ARE because of what? Why are you so certain that you exist?

Isn't it because you are HERE, no matter what the experience is? Isn't it because you are HERE always even as thoughts come and go, the body changes, the experiences change? Aren't even the hands, arms, torso, foot, breathing, heartbeat and thoughts experiences TO you?

Isn't there a pure subjectivity which doesn't change as all these experiences come up and go? Isn't THAT how you know you ARE? Isn't this pure subjectivity always there yet the source or center or "space" or capacity of knowing all these experiences, even the experiences attributed to this separate "someone"?

Doesn't the idea of "ME-seeing" appear in this already-present and unchanging subjectivity?

Isn't this pure formless but ever-present subjectivity what is really meant by "I"?

Hasn't "I" been tied or mixed up with objects? Aren't thoughts objects? Isn't heartbeat or breathing objective TO "I"?

Can you find "I"? Can you describe "I"? No. Yet "I" is undeniably there through every single experience that comes and goes, every single thought that passes, every breath that comes, every heartbeat - "I" is the immediacy and presence TO WHICH these objective experiences come.

Yet "I" is not another experience. "I" is the space of experiencing. "I" is the source of registering, "I" is the cognizing itself, "I" is the pure and ever-present knowing which has no objective nature.

"I" is the Self. And "I" is always known BECAUSE experiences come and go. "I" MUST be present for experiences to come and go. Therefore "I" or Self is ALWAYS known in all experiences. "I" or Self is the very necessity or condition or principle for any experience to come, even thoughts, the body, the idea of "ME as a separate person".

"I" is the "space" IN WHICH the experiences come - the unchanging condition or container for every experience. "I" is the undeniable principle WITHIN WHICH the "ME-thought" comes and goes. "I" is the knowing in which the ideas of "knower and known" come and go. "I" is the obvious capacity for thoughts of "other I's" to come. Other "I's" is more objective content.

"I" is the Self. YourSelf. And there is no other "I". "I" is THAT which never comes or goes.