You know what gets on my nerves?

Stores that don't open until noon on Sundays

2011-12-18T19:19:00.001-05:00

I prefer to spend my sabbath SHOPPING thank you very much.

Diet Coke

2011-07-12T12:19:00.001-04:00

You have nothing on Coke Zero.

Squirrels

2011-03-11T12:33:00.001-05:00

They are really fucking annoying.

People who ask for your username/password over email to help debug issues

2011-03-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

Sorry jackass, it ain't happening.

Weight loss programs that say "you don't need to increase your exercising"

2011-03-07T11:33:00.000-05:00

Because that would be so AWFUL, you know, to exercise more.

People Who Bitch About Snow

2011-01-12T13:41:00.001-05:00

Last I checked, you can't control it, so quit bitching about the fact that it's snowing.

It is however, completely reasonable to bitch about your local government or transportation bodies for doing a shitty job of actually handling said snow.

Baseball

2011-01-09T15:31:00.001-05:00

Already getting upset that it's going to be the only sport on for the majority of the time until football season starts again.

8 a.m. Friday meetings

2011-01-07T10:10:00.000-05:00

Unacceptable.

Eating beef jerky then realizing there's no water around

2011-01-06T20:53:00.001-05:00

Only so much salted meat you can take in before the skin dries out.

Flat tires on a bicycle

2011-01-05T19:41:00.001-05:00

It just makes it way less fun.

New Years' Resolutions

2011-01-04T20:27:00.001-05:00

Just act appropriately, do what's good for you, live life all the time.

When you realize water that you're stepping in isn't rainwater

2010-08-19T09:18:00.002-04:00

You know, that it's just runoff from someone cleaning out their restaurant or store in the morning. It's extra disgusting, beyond the normal nastiness of city rainwater runoff.

Taking a shower at night and having messed up hair in the a.m.

2010-08-17T09:04:00.000-04:00

I'm clean, but I look like I'm homeless due to my disheveled hair. I don't have any cool hats so that's not an option. Guess I'll just look goofy today.

Shaving off too much of my sideburns

2010-08-10T10:01:00.000-04:00

When I wanted to leave a little more. Granted, my facial hair grows absurdly fast so it's not that big of a deal, but being a perfectionist, it annoys me slightly for sure.

Bodega guys who give me a straw and a paper bag for a can of soda

2010-08-05T11:26:00.001-04:00

Totally wasteful and simply unnecessary. I don't need to hide my Coke Zero from the police. And I have an immune system. Furthermore, if the can is dirty, I'll just wipe it with the underside of my shirt. Or in the most dire of situations, I'll use a napkin or tissue.

Grocery stores that keep meat past its sell-buy date on the shelves

2010-08-03T16:04:00.000-04:00

I hate you lazy people. And you're endangering your clients, don't you know that?

Forgetting my iPod when I go to the gym

2010-08-02T10:47:00.000-04:00

It's sad how dependent I've become on my iPod, and music in general. I can't even walk to the store 2 blocks away anymore without listening to half of a song in the process.

Hipsters who wear v neck t-shirts with stupid slogan tattoos on their chests

2010-07-30T11:17:00.001-04:00

You're just annoying. Go back home to mom and dad in the burbs and leave Williamsburg to people who actually want to live there and aren't just there for the image.

Coffee shakes

2010-07-28T09:56:00.000-04:00

I got 'em right now. They're kinda fun in the sense that I feel kinda "high", but I can't really focus on anything for more than a few seconds at a time. It took all the energy I have just to get this post typed out.

Rollerblades

2010-07-27T09:29:00.000-04:00

Just one of those things.

When a restaurant forgets something in your carryout order and you're already far away when you discover it

2010-07-26T10:42:00.000-04:00

I was missing a salad last night with my chicken burger. The whole point of getting the salad was that I had a very unhealthy weekend and could have used some greens in my life. I was already home and back in relaxation mode when I discovered it, so alas, I went greenless.

People who laugh at something they say before someone else laughs, or any acknowledgement that what they said might be funny

2010-07-22T15:09:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure where in your life the part of your brain that determines when it's appropriate to laugh got all mangled, but it did. Best solution? Stop telling shitty jokes.

Coffee grinds in the bottom of your coffee

2010-07-21T11:12:00.002-04:00

Not a pleasant surprise when you're going in for the last few drops.

Discovering a stray hair immediately after you've shaved

2010-07-20T14:23:00.000-04:00

And already put the razor and such away. You can just pull the hair out, but still the lack of perfection will haunt you for minutes, maybe even hours.

Losing the umbrella gamble

2010-07-19T11:12:00.000-04:00

To take or not to take your umbrella with you on the way to work. I lost miserably today, and will spend the first few hours today drying.