Talking Scale Will Force You To Get Glasses

2011-01-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

Can't see the scale readout? The ultra-chic, heavy-duty talking scale with wide 15" stable base tells you your weight the moment you step on it. Supports up to 550 lbs. Features easy to read LCD, two person programmable memory, tap on/auto off functions and low battery indicator. Requires 9V battery, not included. Tempered glass, 15 x 12 x 1". $49.98 I don't know about you, but if I weighed 550

The "Weener Kleener" is Exactly What You Think It Is

2011-01-10T15:31:00.000-05:00

A soap that makes the morning fun. A "stimulating" way for a man to maintain his personal hygiene. Satisfying one size fits most. "O" shape will make you ooh and ahhh over the sparkling clean results! Soap, 2 3/4" x 1". WTF of the Year and it's only January.

At Home ATM Silently Mocks Your Financial Stupidity

2011-01-10T15:27:00.000-05:00

At-Home ATM™ is always open for business as a fun and practical way to organize funds. Simply establish a PIN code for deposits and withdrawals, without a fee! Features coin recognition and electronic bill feeder. Screen displays updated account balance information. Requires three AA batteries (included). ABS plastic, 3 3/4 x 12 1/2 x 10". $39.99 Finally, a way to save money! And I only have to

Perspective

2010-11-20T15:08:00.001-05:00

Treasure Chest Opens to a Special Gift...a Guardian Angel! Bring a smile to a friend with this precious crystal angel tucked inside a lacy chest. When chest is opened, praying angel with golden accents delivers cheery words to brighten a day! Angel is 1 1/2" tall, chest is 2 3/4" x 2 1/2" x 2 1/4". Keepsake is truly a gift from the heart. A gift from the heart? More like a gift from China.

The Ugliest Fucking Rain Boots Ever Created

2010-11-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

Low Rider Rain Boots. French cowgirl rain boots? Yes! Sleek Western styling—check out those pull-tabs!—takes on an Impressionistic coloration in the coolest rubber rain boots we've ever seen. 2" stack-style heels. Imported. Women's medium-width whole sizes 6-10; half sizes, order next larger size. $49.95 Makes a great gift for that annoying, overly optimistic, fashion-backward shopaholic in your

Buck Shit

2010-11-18T09:30:00.000-05:00

"I don't shoot INNOCENT animals... only the ones that look GUILTY!", effectively proving that all hunters have hearts of gold and are simply hunting for the greater good of mankind. Olive green in color, this comfy, 100% heavyweight pre-shrunk cotton knit tee is perfect for almost every occasion - It sports a signature Buck Wear emblem on the left chest, and with its tongue-in-cheek caption you

Tick, Tock, Shit, Clock

2010-11-17T16:47:00.000-05:00

Silverware Kitchen Clock: Perhaps the most appropriate– and creative– kitchen clock ever! A perfect gift for anyone who loves to cook, the silver face is surrounded by silverware. Even the hands are a knife and fork. Metal/ plastic. Req. 1 "AA" battery (not included). 15"Dia. $14.99 Every time I see this type of clock, I imagine that it was originally a one of a kind $250,000 monster created by

Regretsy Bait

2010-11-17T10:54:00.001-05:00

Vines—leaves—blossoms! Intricate, handworked patchwork embroidery blankets the front of this folk-art hoodie, fitted with twin pockets and front zipper. 100% cotton. Hand washable. Imported. Color: Blue/Multi. Sizes: S, M, L, XL, XXL. (XXL) $59.95 This...is gag-tacular. DETECTIVE: Can you describe what the robber was wearing? BANK TELLER: It was some kind of... oh my God, it was horrifying.

Oooooh, Thports!

2010-11-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

The most practical and useful gift to give to any die-hard NFL sports enthusiast. This three-piece rectangular plastic food container set features silicone rubber lids with clear see thru side walls. Your favorite teams logo decal sticker is centered on the top of each lid. Choose from 6 available teams: Steelers, Cowboys, Patriots, Giants, Jets, and Packers. Can be used to store food, or other

Too Bad Moths Don't Eat Cotton

2010-11-16T09:30:00.002-05:00

Daughter-In-Law Afghan tells the gal who captured your son's heart that she has a place in yours, too. Beautiful, soft woven throw features top-quality needlework, a colorful floral design, fringed border, and a loving sentiment she'll treasure always. 60" x 46". Made in USA of 100% cotton. $29.99 Linda: Hi, Melanie! Thanks for coming over! Melanie: I'm so glad to see you again, it's been a

Enablers Rejoice!

2010-11-15T09:52:00.001-05:00

Over-door snack holder stores snack bags for easy access and maximum convenience. Metal frame mounts over any kitchen or pantry door with included hooks. Attached clasps hold up to 6 snack bags up and out of way. Frees up valuable cabinet and counter space! Keeps chips, pretzels and other snacks fresh. Chrome finish.16-3/4" x 13-3/4". Because GOD FORBID your morbidly obese 7 year old can't find

Ready, Aim...

2010-11-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

Brighten up your doorway with the lighted holiday wreath! It has 35 bright white lights to decorate your home and add a little holiday cheer. UL listed. Great for both indoor and outdoor decorating. 14" diameter. 27" cord plugs into any outlet. 14.95 Really, how could this be mistaken for anything else - like, say, sagging furry crosshairs?

Rope for a Dope

2010-11-11T10:55:00.001-05:00

Terry soap sponges turn soap scraps into luxurious lather! Don’t toss away thin slivers of soap. Just slip ’em into the pocket of these handy sponges for quick lathering “soap on a rope”! After bathing simply hang and let air-dry. Set of 3 poly foam sponges with 100% polyester covers in assorted colors. Ea. 5¼". #6.98 God, people are so stupid. Who is tossing soap scraps? Take a new bar out

Kitty Melon

2010-11-10T14:00:00.000-05:00

Kitty tissue box cover transforms an ordinary cube tissue box purr-fectly! Slip-on cover adds charm to any room with its whimsical cat motif. Elasticized straps at bottom fit snugly around cube-style boxes; wide slit at top dispenses tissues. Poly/cotton blend. Imported. 7" x 6¾" x 5". Inspiration: Harriet Carter

Not For Sale in New York City

2010-11-09T10:30:00.002-05:00

Laundry room magnetic decal will help you kick the “wash day” blues with its cute and colorful clothesline scene. Attaches instantly to the front of a top-loading washer or dryer—or other metal surface. Flexible poly/vinyl material with magnetic backing removes easily; won’t mar appliance surfaces. 26" L x 16½" H. $10.85 I would love to attach one of these to my building's washing machine and

Is It Strong Enough for Me to Hang Myself?

2010-11-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

Hang your stocking under your favorite holiday photo! Photo frame is 3 ½” X 5” and can be displayed horizontally or vertically. Santa’s sleigh clips on top of the frame. When I saw this, my fists clenched and I yelled, "Fucking why?" at the computer screen. What a useless, redundant piece of shit. I mean, really. If you have a mantle, then chances are you already have a ton of pictures

Crossing the Line of Taste

2010-11-08T14:23:00.000-05:00

This cross is a great way to show your faith. Display it proudly on any mantle, table or shelf. The cross delivers a brilliant light show. Makes a great gift! On/off button. Runs on 3 "AAA" batteries. $5.95 What a great way to show your faith - by buying a cheap, plastic, battery powered light up disco cross. And why the fuck is it in a bubble? Does it have a contagious disease or something?

Because Filling The Bowl Less Frequently is NOT an Option

2010-11-08T10:12:00.000-05:00

BOWL KEEPS DOGS & CATS FROM WOLFING DOWN THEIR FOOD! Specially-designed bowl features 4 raised prongs that force pets to eat food slower and chew at a leisurely pace. Pets digest food better, feel full sooner and make less mess. No more choking or vomiting, either. Ideal for moist or dry food. Features a no-tip design with non-slip bottom. Dishwasher-safe plastic. Finally! My cats are always

Defeating the Purpose

2010-11-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

This decorative wall piece is fun and artistic. Bring out your creative side with this inspired stained glass decor. Circular in design, this wall sculpture features geometric shapes, vase and bowl designs, as well as an elegant color palette. Features hand painted finish, three dimensional construction and crafted from metal for durability. Measures 21.25" W x 3" D x 21.25" tall. No assembly

This Should Bring Those Divorce Rates Down

2010-11-05T11:30:00.000-04:00

Color-changing angel spreads peace and joy throughout your home! Crystal-look praying angel softly glows and changes colors from clear to purple, red, green, blue and orange to create a serene, peaceful aura in your home. Makes a unique holiday gift, too. Lightweight acrylic. 2 button cell batteries included. 3-3/4" H. FRAN: Hey, Bob? BOB: What is it Fran? FRAN: I'm tired of fighting. I

Not for Use on Cobblestone Roads

2010-11-04T15:05:00.001-04:00

Plug-in car heater warms targeted areas while driving or camping. Plugs into a car lighter to provide 150 watts of heat, perfect for a car floor or dashboard. Sixteen-foot cord helps provide added comfort for front or back seat passengers. Plastic, 7 x 6 x 3". $14.99 You May Also Like: 1. Burn Cream 2. Double sided tape 3. A new car with working heat TAYLOR GIFTS

Tonight on A&E...

2010-11-04T11:25:00.000-04:00

Funny tin "What's Wrong with Being Born in a Barn?" sign illustrates a nonchalant attitude about clutter. The beautiful, decorative sign is the ideal gift for friends who have a sense of humor. Use indoors or outdoors. Features artwork from Persis Clayton Weirs. Lightweight, sturdy and easy to hang. Tin, 12 1/2 x 1/4 x 16". I'm waiting for some indignant slob on Hoarders to hang this in their

Wealthy Wednesdays: Cufflink Edition

2010-11-03T09:35:00.000-04:00

Enamel and 18k gold cufflinks made and handpainted in England. The t-bar closure is a detailed gold fish as shown at right. 1"w x 5/8"h. My God. $6,500 for one pair of cufflinks. I would be terrified that someone who chop my hands off to get to them. Scully and Scully

Dignity Sold Seperately

2010-11-02T09:51:00.000-04:00

Air Freshener can holder conveniently hooks over the side of your toilet tank to keep aerosol cans out of the way but easily accessible. Eliminates clutter and fumbling. Holds one standard size can. 7½" L with hook. Ah, because nothing says "I'm too cheap to install a vent fan in my bathroom," and "My shits take the paint off the walls" at the same time. Harriet Carter

Why Kids Run Away

2010-11-01T11:30:00.000-04:00

Because each daughter and daughter- in-law is special, these lovely afghans arrive personalized for her alone. Beautifully embroidered and woven of 100% cotton. Specify names: first line—limit 24 letters/ spaces; second line—limit 4 letters/spaces; third line—limit 24 letters/spaces. Machine wash and dry. 62"Lx47"W. Please allow 3-4 weeks for delivery. No express shipping. Made in the USA. I

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