You Might Be A Heretic If...

April 24

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 04:42:00 +0000

If you believe that medical marijuana is a good "ministry tool..." you might be a heretic.
If you hold "social gatherings" in a strip club...you might be a heretic
If you hold a Christian fight club night and are ridiculed by Stephen Colbert...you might be a heretic.
If you believe in bribing people with giveaways in order to get them into your church instead of giving them the good news of the Gospel...you might be a heretic.
If you rely more on prophecy than you rely on the Bible...you might be a heretic.

April 23

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 03:26:00 +0000

If you consider yourself the anointed one and think you are equal with Christ...you might be a heretic.
If your Easter sermon was Star Wars themed...you might be a heretic.
If people leave your church on Easter talking about the aerial acrobats instead of Jesus Christ being risen...you might be a heretic.
If you do an annual sermon series in the summertime based on that summer's blockbuster...you might be a heretic.
If your Easter sermon was all about being "happy" instead of Christ rising from the dead...you might be a heretic (video evidence...)

Monday Funday

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 18:30:00 +0000

If you think that the most important part of Easter is the candy... you might be a heretic.
If your church covered the song "Happy" by Pharrell Williams during Easter worship, complete with beach balls... you might be a heretic.
If you think Jesus death is the important part of Easter... you might be a heretic. (hint: it was his death And his resurrection that is important.)
If you think that Easter is a celebration of Jesus' birthday... you might be a heretic.
If you believe that the resurrection was for the restoration of this world... you might be a heretic.

Good Friday

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Fri, 18 Apr 2014 05:00:00 +0000

Today we will be taking a break to look at a sermon given by Rick Gamache, pastor of Sovereign Grace Church in Bloomington, MN, about Good Friday and it's significance. Have a blessed weekend.

Click the link below and enjoy.
Good Friday Sermon

God is Good by Dustin Kensrue

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 05:51:00 +0000

April 17

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 05:00:00 +0000

If you believe your experience has more authority than the Bible... you might be a heretic.

If signs and wonders are more important than the Bible to you... You might be a heretic.

If you think that every passage in scripture is prescriptive and none are descriptive... you might be a heretic.

If you think that you are a better Christian than the apostle Paul... You might be a heretic.

If you use an "anointed prayer cloth" you might be a heretic.

April 15

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Tue, 15 Apr 2014 06:38:00 +0000

If you think heresy has something to do with listening... you might be a heretic.

If the word discernment sounds like a foreign language to you... you might be a heretic.

If you think that Paul was a bigot for not letting women preach... you might be a heretic.

When you hear a sermon on law and think you mistook a university lecture hall for your church... you might be a heretic.

If you believe in "wife of Jesus" "gospel" .... you might be a heretic.

Double Sermon Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 04:22:00 +0000

Today, a great sermon on a topic that is relevant to all of us. "I'm Not Ashamed of the Scandal" by Paul Washer.

Sermon Saturday...well actually Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 13 Apr 2014 06:07:00 +0000

This is our second installment of what is known as Sermon Saturday, but as I did not get home until past midnight, for one week it is going to be known as Sermon Sunday.
The reason behind posting these sermons as we do each week is to encourage and build up the faith of fellow Christian brothers and sisters that may be reading this.
Enjoy the sermon and I pray that it would encourage you!

God Bless!

1 Corinthians 15:1-28 ESV

Now I would remind you, brothers,1 of the gospel gI preached to you, which you received, hin which you stand, 2 and by which iyou are being saved, if you jhold fast to the word I preached to you—kunless you believed in vain.

3 For lI delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died mfor our sins nin accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised oon the third day pin accordance with the Scriptures, 5 and that qhe appeared to Cephas, then rto the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. 7 Then he appeared to sJames, thentto all the apostles. 8 Last of all, as to one untimely born, uhe appeared also to me. 9 For vI am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because wI persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, xI worked harder than any of them, ythough it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. 11 Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

12 Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, zhow can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, athen not even Christ has been raised. 14 And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. 15 We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that bhe raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. 16 For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. 17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and cyou are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who dhave fallen asleep in Christ have perished. 19 If in Christ we have hope2 in this life only, ewe are of all people most to be pitied.

20 But in fact fChrist has been raised from the dead, gthe firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For as hby a man came death, iby a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. 22 For jas in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. 23 But each in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, thenkat his coming lthose who belong to Christ. 24 Then comes the end, when he delivers mthe kingdom to God the Father after destroying nevery rule and every authority and power. 25 For he must reign ountil he has put all his enemies under his feet. 26 The last enemy to be pdestroyed is death. 27 Forq“God3 has put all things in subjection under his feet.” But when it says, “all things are put in subjection,” it is plain that he is excepted who put all things in subjection under him. 28 When rall things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things in subjection under him, that sGod may be all in all.

April 9th

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 05:15:00 +0000

If your Bible has that "new book smell" after 5 years of owning it... you might be a heretic.
If you use a sharpie as a highlighter in your Bible... you might be a heretic.
If your Bible is loose leaf so you can tear out pages you don't like... you might be a heretic.
If you think Christian science is Christianity... you might be a heretic.
If your pastor is a woman and a lesbian... you might be a heretic.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 1:7 ESV

April 7th

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 05:35:00 +0000

You might be a heretic if you think the word sin is old fashioned.
You might be a heretic if you avoid using the word 'sin' like a hipster avoids anything "mainstream."
You might be a heretic if you think Bill Johnson is a biblically sound pastor.
You might be a heretic if you think the Message is the greatest "translation" since the King James version

Sermon Saturday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 05 Apr 2014 05:59:00 +0000

Each Saturday we will post and share a sermon that has had a profound impact on one or both of us. We pray that these sermons will be a source of encouragement and point you to the Author and Perfecter of our faith, Jesus Christ.

To God be the Glory!

April 4th

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 04:38:00 +0000

If you think a woman not being allowed to be a pastor is old fashioned, you might be a heretic.
If you think Judas Priest is a Christian band because it has the biblical name 'Judas' in it, you might be a heretic.
If you are a "Prophet of the End Times" and have mad Casio skills, you might be a heretic.
If the word 'discernment' is a "four letter word" in your church, you might be a heretic.
If you think the word 'pneuma' is spelled 'nooma,' you might be a heretic.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:8-10 (ESV)

April 3rd

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Thu, 03 Apr 2014 16:26:00 +0000

If you think that eisegesis is an acceptable form of bible teaching... You might be a heretic.

If you own a copy of "Love Wins" by Rob Bell... you might be a heretic.
If you listed Benny Hinn as your health insurance provider... you might be a heretic.
If you believe that Christians and Muslims serve the same God... you Are a heretic.

April 2nd 2014

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Wed, 02 Apr 2014 16:15:00 +0000

If your church unites under its visionary and not the Bible... you might be a heretic.

If you start your Bible study by saying This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I can do what it says I can do...." you might be a heretic.

If you think that apologetics has something to do with asking for forgiveness... you might be a heretic.

If you think songs such as "highway to hell" and "friends in low places" are acceptable songs to play for worship at your church... you just might be a heretic.

And the last one for the day,

If you believe that you can truly have "your best life now".... you might be a heretic.

You Might Be a Heretic If April 1 2014

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Tue, 01 Apr 2014 07:07:00 +0000

If you follow and read everything that Rachel Held Evens writes and says, you might be a heretic.

If you have neck problems due to nodding your head in agreement with everything your pastor says, and not because you look in the bible comparing what he says, you might be a heretic.

If you read the Christian Post, you might be a heretic.

If your pastor does a sermon series praising the recent Hollywood blockbuster movies “Noah” or “Son of God” you might be a heretic…

If you think the Bible miniseries is biblical, you might be a heretic

Sitting in my mom's basement

noreply@blogger.com (The Kid Mitch) — Tue, 01 Apr 2014 06:59:00 +0000

A little more than a few years ago we whom shall remain anonymous ;) felt the call to study apologetics in order to minister and counter evangelize heretics and those who are unfortunately in these sad situations. However a couple guys can only handle so much bad theology before going insane. This blog and its posts are the culmination of many a lost night of sleep, a jaw dropped in utter disbelief, and several tears shed, which culminated one late night in a way to vent frustration and anger "You might be a heretic if..." In true Jeff Foxworthy style we hold back no punches and leave no realm of heretical Christianity untouched. We here strive to provide a laugh amongst the frustration. We encourage feedback, new jokes, links to other satirical material having to do with heresy, as well as your criticisms. We promise to respond as quick as we can to your messages as we do truly have nothing to do other than sit in our mom's basement on our bean bag chairs eating Cheetos and drinking lots of highly caffeinated beverages.

Thanks and God bless.