My Squeaky Clean Blog

Fun Florida: "Sand" Cranes, Rainy Days and Washington Oaks Gardens

2012-06-11T16:18:00.001-04:00

I thought I would share a few fun Florida pictures!

We recently visited my parents' house in the Orlando area. There is a family of Sand Cranes that hangs out in their back yard. They try to eat all of the bird food my father puts out. :)

I am always amazed at how BIG these guys are! They are about 4' tall and are not really afraid of people. As you can see, Wesley walked right up to them. They are more curious than anything.

Wesley w/ the momma and daddy.

The entire family: Mom, Dad, two twins.

While we were at my parents, we went to lunch at Roc City Diner in Apopka, FL.

My 17-year-old took a picture of his loaded hot dog. This is a very inexpensive place to go for food if you are ever in the area!

Since Tropical Storm "Beryl" hit here a few weeks ago, it seems as if it has not stopped raining. Which is all right because we really needed the rain. Last year at this time we had some crazy wildfires around our area.

I'll take the rain!

HOWEVER, our 2 year old pound puppy, Ragnar, is terrified of the thunder.

And unfortunately, he seems to be digressing. He has gone from a fear of thunder (and loud noises, like fireworks) to a paralyzing fear of even going outside when it is dark and/or is raining.

Which, as you can imagine, can be super frustrating. We are going to buy a Thunder Shirt soon. I'm afraid he is going to keel over from a heart attack if we don't do SOMETHING!

Here is Chris holding him in the midst of one of his panic attack. (I know we shouldn't console him, per Cesar Millan! And we mostly don't.)

On one rainy night, I started cutting up vegetables and made a vegetable soup. I just thought that the colors were pretty. Chris promptly made fun of me for taking a picture of what I was cooking.

I had recently read that there has been sea glass found near a particular beach in our area, so I drove out there one day this past week.

It was cold and started raining almost immediately so we had to leave. But it was still beautiful.

Now that the kids are on summer holiday, I am trying to find inexpensive/free things to do.

I purchased an art/science museum family pass this morning and we are going to take advantage of the coop of OTHER museums within driving distance.

I'm going to show these kids some culture this summer!

Today we took food out to Washington Oaks Gardens State Park. It is $5 per car to get in and it is really beautiful.

What I failed to remember is that the mosquitos are BRUTAL at this time of year. They found us quickly and we had to retreat to the car.

Momma and baby deer (on the right, hard to see).

To get some reprieve from the biting insects, we headed across the street (A1A) to the "beach" part of the park. I had never been to this particular beach, and it was so pretty, with the coquina rocks scattered and stacked. Wesley wanted to stay in the car, unfortunately. Buzzkill.

Coquina rock is really amazing stuff. The Castillo de San Marcos is made out of this type of rock, and I think I have heard it is pretty much only found in Florida.

And finally, a momma bird decided to make a nest and lay some eggs directly outside our front door in a potted fern. I am mildly concerned about being dive bombed every time we walk outside, but I don't have the heart to destroy the nest.

She is cute.

That Was the BEST TOENAIL EVER! And Other Concerns.

2012-06-09T13:51:00.001-04:00

A couple of thoughts today.

The first is a conversation that just happened at the lunch table. I am concerned about it on many levels.

Maggie: That was the best toenail ever!

Wes: What?

Pause

Wes: Mom! Did you hear what Maggie just said?

Me: I did.

Wes: She said she's eating her toenails!

Maggie: I'm not Maggie, I'm Perry!

Wes: Okay, Jimmy.

Maggie: I'm not Jimmy! I'm Perry!

Me: Just ignore her, Wes.

Maggie/Perry/Jimmy: That was the best toenail ever!

Maggie/Perry/Jimmy: That was the best toenail ever!

Moving on.

I saw this on Pinterest this week:

And I was mildly curious.

So...I started taking notes for approximately an hour.

#1: Can I have breakfast?

#2: Does Dora have germs?

#3: Is everyone on Earth?

#4: Are we on the Milky Way?

#5: Do all the planets go around the sun?

#6: How did Super Why get on Netflix?

#7: Why do kids keep watching bad shows?

#8: Can I watch the dog movie, mom? It has kitties, too.

#9: Can I watch anything I want, Mom?

#10: What is this puppy show called?

#11: What can I do for you? (playing "restaurant.")

#12: What can I do for you?

#13: What can I do for you?

#14: Mom, do you want Chick-Fil-A?

#15: Mom, do you want a chicken sandwich?

#16: Mom, do you want Sonny's or Sonic?

#17: Does Thora (the German Shepherd) go upstairs?

#18: Mom, where do your friends live?

#19: What town are we in?

#20: What town are we in now?

#21: Are we almost home?

#22: Does Ragnar (dog #2) have underwear on?

#23: Where is the Milky Way in space?

#24: Is that funny, Mom?

#25: Is that funny, Mom?

And since I forgot to write some of the questions down during this time, I think that 437 questions might be on the lower end for MY 4 year old.

A Bad Week for Two Actors, and Other Junk

2012-06-06T14:26:00.003-04:00

There are different ways to deal with grief. One way might include, but is not limited to, turning your dead cat into a remote controlled helicopter: Buzzfeed.

How did THIS happen?

Before:

After:

Not a good week for Matthew Fox. A Twitter conversation with his old Lost co-star, Dominic Monaghan (Pippen, for LOTR fans):

FAN: Holla at Matthew Fox and tell him to get a twitter I beg of you.

MONAGHAN: He beats women. No thanks.

FAN: I know it was wrong but what?! What about all those good times you had together?!

MONAGHAN: How do you know we ever did? You don’t know either of us. He beats women. Not isolated incidents. Often. Not interested.

FAN: Spreading an accusation that EVEN eww-TMZ didn’t make… How classy. Hope Matthew Fox sues you for defamation.

MONAGHAN: An accusation is when you “claim” someone did something wrong. I know. But hey little fan girl maybe want to get slapped.

MONAGHAN: And it’s very difficult to sue someone for speaking the truth.

ANNNND, in another Twitter fail, this married actor's attempts in an airplane to hit on his neighbor went horribly awry. She was live Tweeting the entire thing. This should put every potential philanderer on high notice that THIS VERY THING COULD HAPPEN TO YOU, guys (and girls, for that matter!).

Cool Shirt. Chive.com

Axl Rose, y'all.

I will never look at "LMAO" the same way....

Eeeep!

Like him or not...this must have taken FOREVER to put this video together.

Yikes.

2012-06-05T20:44:00.000-04:00

I'm gobsmacked. And terrified.

I admit that I exaggerate. Not always, but only when it behooves me to do so.

But this post from Winning At Everything scared the s**t out of me.

Not exaggerating about that.

These pictures make me nervous for a number of reasons.

Reasons that include ~ but are not limited to ~ the necks, the veins, the "je ne sais quoi" in their eyes and the fake, oily spray tans gone COMPLETELY AWRY.

They look hungry. And fierce. Like they would kill me for my McDonald's fries I so enjoy. They could kill me very easily, indeed.

I am not a very fast runner, so one of these girls (or a zombie. We live in THAT KIND OF CRAZY these days, don't we?) could very well overtake me. *Mental Note: I need to start the Couch to 5K program again in the near future.

They look determined ~ like masters of self control. Jedis, if you will. Actually, these qualities are ones that I quite admire. I wish I had more of them.

Although I must say, I would like my self control and determination to manifest in an ENTIRELY different way.

I am actually pretty scared to say a whole lot about these pictures.

Not sure what to think, either.

What do YOU all think?

Aaaaand, just so those aren't the last thoughts in your head, here is a chaser.

PUPPIES!

Wednesday Pics

2012-05-30T13:05:00.003-04:00

I am curious about the practicality of this.

Yea, I'm totally flakey. ;-)

These "saying" things are big on Piccsy and Pinterest. But I would suggest if you are trying to be snarky, you should get the grammar part nailed first.

Um, yea.

The neediness and baggage that these six words express is a ton of bricks.

Wasn't it Coco Chanel that said that one should remove one accessory before leaving the house? I think this person should remove several.

Tilda, WTH?

Don't let the adorable-ness fool you: this poor creature is scared sh**less.

I'm becoming less and less impressed of pictures of young guys with no shirts. He just looks obnoxious, as teenage boys usually are, and he needs to pull his pants up.

I can't help it. They both annoy me and intrigue me at the same time. And I just really, really loved the movie.

Binge fail.

This? Has made me completely re-think my use of ":-P"

Heck, yea.

Can't we all just get along?

This is why dogs are super awesome.

TokyoMilk, Lollia by Margot Elena, and Birchbox!

2012-05-10T21:44:00.000-04:00

Hi!

I'm kind of excited to share a few things with you tonight.

First of all, I got the May 2012 Birchbox today.

Included was:

- Algenist - Regenerative Anti-Aging Moisturizer: Looking your age is so overrated. This sophisticated moisturizer uses an exclusive compound to delay the cellular aging process. Full size $90

-Color Club - Nail Polish in Clambake Coral: Just in time for summer, this warm coral will set off your newly (self) tanned skin. Full size $8

-Kerastase Cristalliste Lumiere Liquide: Smooth this lightweight fragrant serum through dry strands to add gorgeous shine. Full size $42

-Miracle Skin Transformer Body SPF 20 in Glow: Don't settle for anything but flawless skin - all over your body. This tinted treatment erases blemishes and scars on arms, legs, and decollete. Full size, $34.

EXTRAS:

Kerastase -Cristalliste Bain Cristal: This shampoo removes oil from roots while leaving ends healthy and soft. Full size $36

Kerastase Cristalliste Lait Cristal: Thanks to hydrating aloe, this rich conditioner seals in shine and moisture. Full size, $39

Notecards: Text Messages are no match for handwritten notes on fun, modern stationery. Set of 12, $10

I am looking forward to using just about everything in this Birchbox. I'll be interested to see if the Algenist works. If something works, I might just pay the price to buy a full-size.

I am also going to paint my toes tomorrow. I haven't painted them since the LAST time Birchbox sent me a polish sample. I think that was back in March!

But what I am REALLY excited about is that I won a contest in April, and I just received the package that I chose with my $75 gift certificate.

It is from a company called "Lollia," and I first heard about them on The Foundary.

If you aren't on The Foundary, you should be! They send out emails daily (I look at all of them, though. This is one company that the daily emails AREN'T annoying to me!). It is along the lines of Gilt, Zulilly, and MyHabit, where companies offer their products at a steep discount for only a few days.

I have gotten some great ideas and have bought a few things. One of the things I bought was this Royal Bee Duvet, from Lollia.

(I tried to upload the picture of the Duvet, but it wouldn't let me. I would take a picture of my OWN duvet, but my husband is sleeping and I don't think he would appreciate me turning on the lights to get the shot. Sorry, I only could provide the link for you. ;-))

I LOVE the duvet, and pretty much Lollia in general. But it was pretty expensive, so I "liked" it on Facebook.

Anyway, I won a contest they were holding for Mother's Day. And technically, I think the gift should be for my mother. But....I bought the Mother's Day product package that matched my Royal Bee Duvet.

It is the "Wish" Eau de Parfum, "Wish" Perfumed Shower Gel, and "Wish" Shea Butter Handcreme.

The "Wish" scent reminds me a lot of Estee Lauder's Bronze Goddess, in that it is a summery, vanilla-y, beachy scent.

And I LOVE the packaging. I sort of want to keep it all, but I am keeping the eau de parfum, and I think gifting the rest to my mother. Or maybe I will just keep it all and get her something different, since it matches my room. Heheh.

Lollia also sent me some really awesome samples ~ I LOVE samples ~ which I tore into right away. Which you can probably see from the picture.

Along with a small lotion sample of Lollia's "Calm" scent (which I like...almost more than the "Wish"), they sent me a TokyoMilk Bon Bon Bubbling Bath, Love & Toast "Pomme Poivre" handcreme, and TokyoMilk/Dark "Crushed" handcreme.

First, I used the bubble bath last night. I have NEVER gotten such awesome and long-lasting bubbles from a bubble bath before. Maggie was excited when she saw it, because it seriously looked like it was a bath out of a movie.

I am also a sucker for gimicky stuff, and I was intrigued by TokyoMilk/Dark. The packaging is black, and has guns, bugs and poison on them. The names are "Arsenic," "La Vie, La Mort (The Life, The Death)," and "Bulletproof," to name a few.

"Crushed" Handcreme came in the samples, and honestly, along with the Bon Bon Bubblebath, this will probably be my next purchase. The description of the "Crushed" scent says it is a combination of earth and moss, crushed herbs, wild grass and jasmine.

The smell reminds me of something from when I was young, and I love it.

Just wanted to share a few of my finds with you tonight.

Since I haven't been updating my blog very much lately, I will probably see you with my NEXT Birchbox!

Birthdays, Birchboxes and Baths.

2012-04-23T19:39:00.000-04:00

I came on here today to do a "Wordless Wednesday" post. Because surely, it HAD to be Wednesday.

My heart dropped when I realized it was only Monday.

MONDAY!

Part of the reason the day has gone so slowly is that I hurt my back. And I don't even have a cool story to explain it. I merely woke up yesterday morning and could hardly move.

So I decided to take a bath today, because I thought that might help. (Didn't.)

I got into the tub and Maggie ran in to the bathroom and starting whooping... all like, "BATHTIME! Oh, YAY! Bathtime! I LOVE bathtime!"

Then she began taking off all of her clothes.

I held her off for a moment, but could only do it for so long...because she is MAD strong. She crawled in with me, loudly pointing out my stomach and my boobs and blurting out entirely malapropos comments about both.

I found out, however, that kids are great at washing backs.

I didn't post my items this month in MyGlam and Birchbox. Mostly because I have been super lazy.

But MyGlam was pretty good this month. I received an Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner pencil, which was great. Also, I got a full-sized (I think) Dermstore Lip Quench lip balm. It smells nice. Also, some false eyelashes...which I have been known to wear.

I am 100 percent more enthusiastic about Birchbox this month, though. There were a couple really cool items, but my favorite ~by far ~ is the microdermabrasion mitt for the shower.

Maggie slipped this over her hand and scrubbed my back with it today, and it was super awesome.

It's a little bag that you slip your hand in, then you scrub away with shower gel. It feels SO nice.

I also really loved the Pur 4-in-1 Mineral Tinted Moisturizer. And the Orange Sanguine perfume sample.

Thursday is Maggie's birthday. She turns four. It feels as if she has been three FOREVER.

This has been the year that she would nearly kill herself holding her bowel movements in, and when she FINALLY went after days of screaming, it would be a man-sized turd that we would have to wait to disintegrate before flushing for fear of overflow. She also had issues with wiping feces on things inappropriately. Like on furniture, and walls.

I am happy that she is fully toilet trained, though. Almost a full six months ahead of her big brothers (both who elicited episodes of hand-wringing as preschool loomed in their near futures, and I was still buying Pampers).

Her personality has flourished. She is super outgoing, charming and will tell you anything you want to know. And more. I am frantically trying to fill her in on stranger-danger.

She is reading everything. She started reading an anatomy flap book, because she decided that she wants to be a doctor.

She also must read signs on the doors of every store we go to. I am hoping this isn't, like, an OCD thing. Because sometimes ~ when we are in a hurry ~ it holds us up.

She was particularly fascinated with the "Team Members Only" door at Target. She would shriek, "That's a team member, mommy!" when anyone would walk in or out.

This was Maggie this week. She put on her Batgirl costume, her Easter hat and a monkey backpack to go to the store.

Easter this year. The nice people at church found it necessary to crack her out on sugar before they sent her home:

2.5 years old:

March 2012 Birchbox/Etsy Shop

2012-03-18T18:24:00.000-04:00

I received an email that my Birchbox had shipped earlier this week, and I waited. And waited. It took a while to arrive, but I am really happy with this month's box.

Unlike last month ~ which was full of things that I probably wouldn't use ~ this month's box is full of awesome things that I love.

Here is the list from the card insert:

~ Color Club/ Nail Lacquer in Age of Aquarius: Brighten blah nails with on-trend, '60's inspired green polish.

~ Harvey Prince/ Ageless: Most scents just smell pretty, but this one is designed to make you feel more youthful - high-tech, no?

~ Lulu Organics/ Lavender and Clary Sage Hair Powder: Revive flat locks by sprinkling this lavender-scented organic dry shampoo onto your roots.

~ One Love Organics/ Skin Savior Waterless Beauty Balm: This all-natural two-in-one cleanser and mosturizer is completely free of fillers, which means it's extra concentrated and extra effective.

~ Supergoop/Sunscreen Swipe: Shield yourself from harmful UV rays anywhere you go with these portable wipes - they're soaked with an award-winning, skin-safe sunscreen formula.

LIFESTYLE EXTRA:
~ Tea Forte/Skin-Smart Teas: AN antioxidant tea that tastes amazing and helps our skin look more radiant? Yes, please.

I use regular powder on my hair because I am a lazy ass on some days. I am happy that there is actually a dry shampoo out there that will probably do the job better than regular cornstarch. I like the powder, the nail polish (will prob just do my toes, since dishes and playing guitar is hard on fingernails...), the perfume, the sunblock. I pretty much like everything.

And speaking of liking things from BirchBox/MyGlam , I am loving a leave-in conditioner that I received in this month's Glam Bag. It is the Keratase KeraColor Color Enhancing Leave-in Treatment. The full size is almost 30.00 on special, with free shipping. It comes in all colors for different hair...

I also set up a shop on Etsy to sell some paintings.

I was working with oil, but for the sake of ease and of drying time, I am going to paint with acrylics.

I had no idea how much to charge for anything, but I made a general guess and hope it works out.

These are the two paintings I am selling....I'm painting them to order and each one will be different, but with the same, general concept.

It's a leap of faith...something I am not very good at. What is the most difficult for me is that there is a possibility of someone being critical.

But as my husband pointed out, I shouldn't NOT do something that I want to try out of fear of having my feelings hurt. It actually doesn't make much sense.

I'll let you know how things go. :)

March 2012 Glam Bag

2012-03-12T16:28:00.000-04:00

Just received my March Glam Bag from Myglam.com!

An email was sent out earlier this month informing us that they are not taking any new subscriptions to the service until they work out a few kinks. There were shipping issues, billing issues, etc. This is a brand new company/service (think this is the third or fourth shipment), however, so I would expect that they are learning as they go.

Anyway, there are some great little things in it this month:

~ DermStore Care Package:
1.Pur-Lisse Pur-Protect SPF 30 Essential Daily Moisturizer
AND
2. Murad Eye Lift Perfecter
AND
3. DermStore $25 gift card

~Foundational Elements:
One of three beauty basics to lay the groundwork for your fresh spring complexion:
1. 3Lab Perfect Cleansing Foam
OR
2. Pur-Lisse Pur-Lip Comfort Daily Lip Nourisher
OR
3. Murad Absolute Bronzing Boost SPF 15 (what I received)

~Keracolor Color Enhancing Leave-In treatment
This leave-in treatment is especially designed to enhance, protect, strengthen and hydrate all hair types.

~MyGlam exclusive Classic Crease Brush and Case
Hand selected by Michelle from her recent trip to Hong Kong for Cosmoprof Asia, freshen up your spring makeup routine with this MyGlam exclusive classic crease brush and brush case.

I'm excited to receive some things I can really use this month....and I would like to check out DermStore. Don't know what their prices are, but a $25 gift card will definitely help if I order anything.

I'm looking forward to trying the Murad Bronzer. I have heard about the brand, but have never tried anything before. The daily moisturizer is helpful especially with the SPF 30 and I can always use conditioner for my hair.

Anyway, thought I would share with you all. :)

Pop-Culture-ish Wordless Wednesday. Stuff I Liked.

2012-03-07T20:47:00.000-05:00

Steallikeanartist.com

Fat Pictures and Gigantic Zits.

2012-03-01T11:24:00.000-05:00

As I get older, I find that birthdays are buzz kills.

However, this year was pretty good. I received an unexpected gift from a friend and my husband did the laundry. Then he took me to my favorite place to eat.

I had two bloody Mary's and fish and chips.

Then, I felt like a greasy slob.

But later that evening, as we watched the Target car skidoo out of control, smash into, then burn up a maintenance truck, I had an epiphany.

(Note: Am not a Nascar fan, but can appreciate and watch a good explosion and fire.)

Perhaps it was the bloody Marys? Perhaps it was fire?

But this epiphany was different.

No, I wasn't happy. And yes, it was something that I could change.

That obvious crap has slipped past me for thirty-something years, I suppose. This is the older, and wiser, me.

I had a difficult few months, and VOILA, 25 pounds appeared on my scale.

Well, anyone who knows about gaining and losing weight, knows that losing weight that you have previously lost and that you GAINED BACK ~ because you're a sorry-ass slob ~ is one of the most disheartening feelings in the world.

But you know what? Screw disheartening.

At that moment, as Juan Pablo Montoya skulked off the track in his little red Target suit ~ as if ramming his car into a wall was the most natural thing in the world ~ I realized that I so sick of feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for myself is bullshit, man.

I was ready to fit into my closet full of awesome clothes that don't fit because I have no willpower (read: AM TOO LAZY) to discipline myself to eat better and not drink wine.

Tell me that fat, unhappy people DON'T drink alcohol to make them feel temporarily feel better? They do. Because I sure did.

My husband presented his plan to me: he would cook and I would eat what he made.

Who in her right mind would turn that shiz down?

Because HE was on this modified paleo-ish diet this fall and dropped about 25 pounds in a month. He read the book (on the left) and was inspired by the author.

Personally, I read it, too. I found Tim Ferriss abrasive and annoying. But I suppose that doesn't make his ideas of any worse. If someone goes to the trouble of weighing his own dumps, I should at least give him SOME credit. Right?

And my husband didn't even NEED to go on a diet. He wasn't overweight, nor was he unhealthy. His cholesterol level, last checked, was a freakish number....like 98.

(It made almost everyone over 40 that he shared this information with HATE him for a moment.)

After a month or so, the obnoxious thing is that he couldn't STOP losing for a while after he modified his eating habits back to normal. He was getting TOO skinny.

Now, how dumpy do you think this fat wife felt next to a super skinny boy? Albeit a super-skinny boy that has a freakish resemblance now to Rick Scott.

No matter.

We sat down and we talked about goals.

Admittedly, goals are really a difficult concept for me. Always have been.

I know that people TALK about goals all the time, but they are intangible little bastards.

"Goal" is just a word that has been thrown around too much, like "love," and "amazing."

These words can mean almost nothing anymore.

I have tried to write down my goals before, and that didn't work.

This time, I made my husband write them down with me and made a plan of how to obtain the goals. These were new spins on an old, dreary concept. I felt as if they made a difference.

(Also, I put a bathing suit on and had my 3 year old take pictures of me. Which, I swear, seriously freaking messed with my head. I mean, I couldn't POSSIBLY look like that from behind, right? Right?!!!)

The end goal?

I really would like to wear a bikini.

Wearing one never really mattered, ever, when I lived in the Midwest.

Bikinis were novelties....I mean, like, who wore those things? As a mom, I felt that if you wore them to the local kiddie pool you looked impractical.

Now, we live in a beach town in Florida. My perceptions have totally changed. Bikinis are a lot more common here.

And, in my opinion, they are entirely practical. Anyone who has been in Florida in July wants to wear as few items of clothing as humanly possible.

But in general, it doesn't really matter what you look like on the beach ~ as long as you don't show up clothed. Not even joking about this, everyone: 100% serious.

ALL YOU MIDWEST PEOPLE, HEADS UP. It doesn't matter what you look like when you are at the beach. What makes you stick out like a sore thumb and look like a tourist (other than feeding the birds): Wearing clothing because you are trying to hide that you are sporting extra poundage.

There are all shapes and sizes at the beach and all sorts of bathing suits.

A local dude even wears a speedo with socks and sneakers, then kicks a soccer ball down the beach every weekend.

The bikini goal is going to involve more than just diet on my part. Genetics aren't working with me on this one, and the three kids thing hasn't helped. So, my husband promised a tummy tuck if I work at it.

I broke the juicer out that I purchased about two months ago. It was still in the box and had collected a thin film of dust on it.

I am now incorporating the modified paleo diet into my life with my husband.

I'll keep you posted...because I am counting on this year to be my best one ever.

Except the day after my birthday, I woke up with this gigantic zit on my nose.

I haven't had a zit forever. It is only getting worse and is not going away. My entire nose is swollen and is seriously making me not want to leave the house.

I said to Maggie, "Mom has a boo-boo on her nose." Then she laughed at me.

Usually, she would find her box of Hello Kitty bandages and attempt to solve the problem. However, this zit incurred mockery from the three year old.

I suppose I will be thankful to be alive, if not unblemished. And that I am able to make changes in my life. Oh, and that I am not a celebrity who needs to be on a red carpet anytime soon.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday.

2012-02-29T18:03:00.000-05:00

Fight Club

Bad-Ass

HAHHHHH~ <3 CHOW! The Hangover makes me smile :)

<3 Qui Gonn

And finally....
HONEYBADGER Don't give a crap!!! Makes me laugh:

Painting, Y'all.

2012-02-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!

So, for the past month I have been painting.

I have always wanted to, but never got around to it.

Just wanted to share some of the mostly-finished ones w/ you all! :)

This one was the first I did like this....

Jessica Simpson Pregnancy Pics Make Me Happy

2012-02-26T20:25:00.000-05:00

Can't help it.

Her nose is getting bigger and her face is a little puffy...she looks even more like my pregnant younger sister.

And I, her overweight older sister.

February MyGlam.com Glam Bag

2012-02-23T20:27:00.000-05:00

I received my February Glam Bag in the mail two days ago.

It was a little bit of a buzz kill because the shipment came from California. And since I live about as far away from Los Angeles as one can get I saw all of the posts from the other "Glammies," including pictures and descriptions of the contents.

So, the samples were not that big of a surprise.

I will go ahead and post my items and my thoughts, anyway.

The contents of the Glam Bag were:

X Out Shine control: Stay flawless and shine free with this oil-free moisturizer with a mattifying complex.
NYS Roll-On Shimmer: NYX's brand new, intensely rich, shimmering powder that can be applied to the eyes, face and body.
Premier Dead Sea Cinderella Mask: Luxury skincare rich in life-enhancing minerals from the Dead Sea waters.
NuMe Professional Styling Tools and Hair Extensions, 100$ gift Card: revolutionize your everyday look.
Freeman Facial Mask Sachets/Pineapple or Goji Berry: Turn your date night prep-time into a soothing spa experience with easy-to-use skin-perfecting masks.
There was a chocolate sample, but my husband got to it and ate it before I could take this picture.

Like Birchbox this month, this bag was geared toward a younger demographic. I am hoping that this isn't the norm and that the samples get better.

I don't get zits, I rarely use masks (perhaps I should) and at 30-something, I feel uncomfortable walking around looking roller-derby-ish in the broad daylight. And even if I did go out for a drink at a bar (which I don't, ever), it wouldn't be the sort of bar where glitter is required.

I MIGHT use the $100 NuMe gift card, even though most of the NuMe's items are WELL over $100. I need to start curling my hair again...or at least making some sort of effort. I'm starting to look like a hag. I get highlights about every four months so it looks like I am trying. Sort of.

I wish that these companies (MyGlam and Birchbox) would have an over-30 option to choose.

I DID receive an email this week from Birchbox asking if I would be interested in the Teen Vogue box in March. Um, no. I appreciate that they asked instead of just sending it to me.

I'm giving each of these companies three more months. It is only $10 a month for each, though...which is about four Venti Lattes a month.

Ciao.

Wordless Wednesday. (Fave Pinned Funnies.)

2012-02-15T09:31:00.002-05:00

Valentine's Day Sentiments

2012-02-14T09:27:00.001-05:00

Why, yes. Yes, I do need a big reminder this year.

I love you kids SO much.

But seriously. Ya'll are the source of a lot of angst.

For example, I have asked you to stop picking your noses and shoving the finger immediately into your mouth. I asked you to stop doing it in public, for sure, but especially at restaurants.

(ONE of you is ten years old, dude.)

I need the reminder after the freak-outs and tears at Target.

One of you constantly wants Lego sets and candy.

The other just wants to run away from me and hide in the clothing racks.

And then waits until the cart is overflowing to tell me that you to pee. El PRONTO.

One of you continues to point out my belly and tell me that it is big.

So, yea. I need a ginormous reminder this year.

Thanks guys. I needed to be told that!

Mercifully, the three year old is only drawing large heads on tiny little stick legs. So, the "big belly" was omitted.

And this was from the husband.

How he found a card to express his sentiments, exactly? I don't know. It was pretty impressive, though.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

May the wait to get into your restaurant of choice tonight not be miserably long.

February 2012 Birchbox

2012-02-13T19:16:00.000-05:00

So, last month I signed up for Birchbox and MyGlam.

Both are $10.00. This includes shipping.

The premise for these services, I suppose, is to ship beauty samples out to potential customers so they can try the products. I just thought it would be an inexpensive little treat each month to anticipate and if I found something interesting, it would be a bonus.

My first Birchbox arrived today.

The contents and descriptions were:

Benta Berry/G-1 Moisturizing Face Cream: This French skincare line is brand-new to the U.S. Try their all-natural moisturizer, which regulates oil levels and keeps skin matte, full-size $22.
Eye Rock/Designer Liner: Stop wrestling with the liquid liner and achieve a perfect cat eye with these single-use stick on liner strips. 2 packs of 4, $13.
Juicy Couture/Viva La Juicy: This scent will bring out your inner girly girl Wild berries flirt with mandarin and soft floral notes to create a fragrance that's fun and happy. Full-size, $69-$89.
Juice Beauty/Blemish Clearing Serum: Pesky zits are no match for this high-performing serum. Salicylic acid purges pores, while organic botanicals purify skin. Full-seze, $29.
Lifestyle Extra: Chuao Chocolatier/ Spicy Maya ChocoPod: Spicy and sweet, these artisanal dark chocolate treats are laced with chile and cayenne pepper. Full-size, $6
Birchbox Digital Download: Six free tunes from Green River Ordinance, an indie rock band poised to ht the spotlight.

Upon first glance, the kit looks as if it is geared toward someone younger than myself. The cat eye strips seem to be a very young product...a la Nicki Minaj-ish. Not my look. At all.

The Juice Beauty Blemish Clearing Serum is something I may use, although I don't really get pimples anymore. I might give it to my husband, who is a greaseball.

The Benta Berry Moisturizer appears to be something for oilier skin....it might work during Florida summers when my skin gets shinier.

I always like perfume samples.

Chocolate, yes.

Music download...I'll check them out.

I know that some people have said the Birchbox is getting a little chintzier, but I am holding out judgement until I have received a few boxes.

I'm looking forward to the MyGlam shipment. One of the contributors to MyGlam is Michelle Phan. Although she is young, I like her fun tutorials on YouTube.

I will keep you posted on the shipments/products. Oh, and if you sign up for either of these, let me know. I think I get credit of some sort for referrals.

This will be a fun little diversion for me.

Out of the Closet. (At Least Most of my Junk.)

2012-02-08T11:05:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, my productiveness was legendary.

I wish I had taken a before and after picture of our walk-in bedroom closet for you. But since I didn't, allow me describe it.

Not our closet...just a random pic online.
Ours MIGHT have been worse.

Before: stacked storage bins and miscellaneous items (purses, bags, dirty laundry) had toppled in the doorway. Therefore, the entrance to the closet was completely blocked. Literally.

The situation occurring past the blockage was pretty bad, too: garbage, books, CD's, etc. It was the embarrassment of all embarrassments, in the most spectacular way.

Generally, no one ever sees our room.

We keep our shiz together, like 75% of the time, in the area of the house that people will see if they stop by.

The door to our room remains closed to shifty eyeballs of those who are outside of our family unit, just waiting to judge us on the typhoon-like state of our bedroom.

Fun thing I found #1:
Halloween card from Chris sent
from Iraq.

We went to a Superbowl party at a house last Sunday.

This party made me realize that just perhaps, we weren't normal. And that at 30-something we needed to get some of our crap together. Most specifically, the crap most people would never, ever see.

(Gads, let me clarify: I KNOW we aren't normal in more ways than I can count on my two hands. This post just has to do with cleanliness.)

The living area of the house we visited was gorgeous and clean. But whatev, I can do that, too, when we have company coming.

The epiphany came at some point after halftime when I heard a squeal from Maggie.

She had found a cat in the master bedroom.

Cats, because of allergies, are something that we are probably never going to own again and have never owned as long as Maggie has been alive.

In college and grad school we had two phenomal cats: Happy and Flipper. They were the best cats. EVER. Especially our tuxedo can, Happy, who I am pretty sure believed he was a dog.

Fun thing #2: Visitor's Guide.
We were hoping to see Greg Iles. We didn't.

They had grown up around small children and nothing really fazed them. They were our entertainment when we were really, really poor. We recorded them playing on the bed, playing in the bathtub, sleeping, eating....animal lovers know how it is, right?

We have hours of video of them. I'm sure we forced people to view the footage at some point in time.

So, Maggie usually does backflips when she sees a cat. And because of her unadulterated enthusiasm, the cat normally freaks out and hides under a bed.

This cat, however, allowed her to squeeze its face and hug it for quite some time. I learned later that the sad little thing was thirteen years old, and probably wasn't even able to run away like it truly wanted to.

And I felt bad about it.

#3 FLOPPY DISK!

The cat wasn't the epiphany, though. The cat was in these folks' bedroom. Which was IMMACULATE. It looked like a magazine.

Now, since we have lived in Florida, we have had tours of many houses. However, 90% of them were inhabited by retired/semi-retired folks.

And I sort of EXPECT that their houses/rooms would look like Traditional Home magazine.

However, these people had two small children. I had just assumed that everyone who had kids had trash and shiz lying everywhere.

Let me tell you: even their bedside tables were clutter free. And their bed was made. WITH THROW PILLOWS.

This troubled me and inspired me at the same time. It prompted me to action.

#4: $30 certificates to Bakers Square.
Are those even open anymore? Any takers?

I decided to tackle the most shameful area of my entire house: the master bedroom closet.

I took some advice, however, of a friend. She said, "no matter what you do, stay in the room you are cleaning ~as much as you can . If you need to throw items outside the door to deal with later, you do that."

This seems like such a simple little thing, right? Just stay in the freaking room!

Don't start the closet, then think about the dishwasher that needs to be emptied. Then distractedly notice that the floors are dirty and vacuum/mop them. Nor should I even allow the gobs of laundry mocking me inside the laundry room to even inhabit my mind. Not one teeny bit.

STAY IN THE DAMN CLOSET.

#5: .32 stamps.
What year were THESE from?

I have serious ADD when it comes to cleaning. I will start one project, drop it, then move to another. This is why things rarely are finished to par.

I was ruthless with my clothes. I took them out of the bins/off the hangers/out of drawers and inspected every one of them. No more of the sentimental crap that got me into this mess ~ literally ~ that I was facing yesterday.

I donated five garbage bags of clothes.

Really, I wasn't going to wear a mumu, as fun and as comfortable as I thought it looked. There was no way, if I wanted to stay married to my husband. For some reason, I think mumus would be the line in the sand and when I start wearing them, it might possibly be the end of my marriage.

I didn't need to keep panties that I wore BEFORE my husband and I ever even met (we've been together 13 years).

I threw those out, along with any g-strings from that area. Because...really. Who the HELL am I kidding?

So yesterday, I didn't make it out of my pajamas. That was the price I paid for digging into the monstrosity first thing in the morning. I didn't brush my teeth nor did I put deodorant on. I was FUNKY.

But I got the job done, pretty much. There is some tweaking here or there that needs to be done. I want to organize it a little better and maybe put some closet "systems" in there that make it look classier.

This is what we got, though. To some it might look cluttered, but it is a 180 degree difference from where it started. And believe it or not, it was about 7 hours worth of work.

I had these hooks in my garage for years and didn't know what to do with them.
THIS MUST have been a Pinterest idea; I don't come up with these ideas on my own.

Monday in St. Augustine

2012-01-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

We went to St. Augustine today; one of my favorite places!

I took some pictures and though I would share.

Somewhere on a side street.

Yummy mint chocolate chip.

Ice cream stop.

A church....

Cobblestone streets.

Flags.

I love red doors.

Semi-creepy water fountain.

I thought this was interesting...

Thought the light/colors were pretty.

Old building.

Pretty house.

Had a happy hour lunch/dinner at Pizzalley's.

The sky was so blue and it was 80 degrees today.

This one was for sale.

On the way home. It was cold by then and the top was off the Jeep.

Squirrels and Pinterest

2012-01-09T23:18:00.001-05:00

Today, I "liked" this picture of a squirrel.

I also "liked" a hamster on a swing and a meaty picture of Tim Tebow with no sleeves.

How did I find myself "liking" pictures of wild rodents and insanely popular football players (when I fiercely dislike neither of them)?

Allow me to explain.

Chris, continuing to save us $75 carpet removal fee.

Chris. Removing carpet. Saving us $75 on the removal fee.

We recently cancelled our cable t.v. service.

Granted, this was pretty much our only entertainment (aside from the Internet).

But we couldn't justify the cost. Our bill last month was a hefty $180.00.

And with THAT sort of cost, we could actually PARTICIPATE in some sort of entertainment; not just sit on our butts and watch it happen.

With Netflix streaming on our Wii, Maggie could watch "Dora the Explorer" AND "Fresh Beat Band" till her little heart was content.

(The Apple TV is still in my realm of consideration, as is Vudu.com. I already subscribe to Hulu.)

There are entire HOSTS of television alternatives out there at this point in time, that cutting the "cable" umbilical cord hardly hurt.

The tile floors. They are made to look like hard wood.

Around this time, we ripped out the carpet of our family room downstairs and acquired a piano.

Done! This is ceramic tile! Amazing, right?

We decided to move the large television with the Wii upstairs for the children to watch. Ironically, we plugged our bedroom set into the wall and we still have network stations.

Anyway, because I don't want to take the long, arduous trek up the stairs to the second floor to watch the Netflix options, I have found new and fascinating ways to waste my time.

First waste of time: 8tracks.com.

8tracks is a service where people upload their music mixes from their collections and categorize them into playlists for the public to hear. There are "rock" playlists, as well as "pop," "indie," "chill," "study," "techno," and even "sex."

I am not sure why people would upload a mix called "sex." I guess that is what differentiates me (37) and the 20-somethings.

Here is a link to my own contributions to 8tracks.com. Brilliant, I know. That Bela Bartok piece on "Dark Matter" is almost like fingernails on a chalkboard....but in an interesting sort of way.

Some "almost after" photos. Still have more work to do, like something in that corner. And yea....that's Maggie sleeping in the chair.

From the foyer.

From by the front door....where you can't see all the dirty shoes.

I have been listening and listening....and listening to other peoples' mixes, as well as my own. Maggie hangs out with me and listens to the music too. Which MUST be better than Dora, with all her Spanish lessons and all.

She was bouncing pretty well with her hot dog to Offspring's "Get a Job," on a 90's mix that I found earlier this week at lunch today. (Upon listening to this again...it probably wasn't the best song for a 3 year old to listening to; I was all caught up in the nostalgia and memories of the 90's to hear the lyrics and the message of the song.)

Another time consuming activity I have found a website that rivals the thrill of Facebook, if that is at ALL possible: Pinterest.

I first heard about Pinterest at a Christmas party last month. As it was explained to me, it sounded really lame. And you had to ASk for an invitation, or had to be invited by someone already on Pinterest.

I received the invitation about a week later and tentatively began to play with it.

I pinned new recipes, neat organization ideas, fun photos, etc.

Like thousands of other housewives on Pinterest, I gathered together the photos of what I SHOULD be doing. However, instead, I was parked in front of the laptop putting the ideas together and organizing them into neat little files to use at some future date.

THEN, I realized how thrilling it was to upload a picture or a website I found on my VERY OWN and have someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW, RE-PIN it!!!

So, I have been trolling the Internet, looking for new recipes, exciting women's fashion ensembles and quirky photos to share with my Pinterest community.

It is like crack. Or Diet Coke, if I use a comparison that is in my WASP-ish lifestyle realm.

Which brought me to my squirrel.

And I had to ~ just HAD TO ~ click on the other entries to this contest. There were monkeys, lions, tigers and other rodents dressed in armor. Most of them clearly Photo shopped.

This little bugger, however, looks incredibly real. And really gets me thinking.. ...

Road Trip Misadventures.

2012-01-07T13:44:00.000-05:00

We just returned from a road trip to Minnesota.

The kids, the German Shepherd, Chris and I all piled in the sedan like clowns. We willingly headed north toward the prairie.

Let's backtrack.

The discussion of a road trip began when the Wisconsin Badgers landed themselves in the Rose Bowl.

I care nothing about sports, and bowl games only screw up the viewing schedule on network television. The husband cared, though.

He cares a LOT.

The more I thought about it, though, I was up for THAT sort of road trip: through deserts, mountains, and ultimately Orange County (which I have a bit of fondness for. It began before Real Housewives of Orange County. Honestly).

Orange County morphed into Minnesota.

A leap? Why yes, it is.

The last time they were together....

We would mooch off of family.

I began warming to the idea of Minnesota in JANUARY.

Then I dusted off my jeans and tried them on.

W.T.H.

Perhaps it was that I have worn elastic band pants for three years. Damn those evil elastic waistbands: they are so COMFORTABLE, yet they hide that one has put on 20 pounds in relative comfort.

I had NOTHING to wear.

And...a coat? What coat? We live in Florida. I sold them all before we moved here.

We set out, me in inappropriate clothing. Of COURSE a cardigan and a scarf would keep me warm.

I had blocked Minnesota cold out, much like one blocks out childbirth and colonoscopies.

We left Orlando after my brother's wedding on a Friday night.

Within ten minutes we were lost and screaming at each other.

The toll that was supposed to have been $1 turned into $4 as we backtracked. Our exit was missing because of road construction.

MISSING!

We tried again. The kids had found something to hit each other with. There were feet flailing. Someone accidentally kicked the dog. There was yelping.

This was a ROTTEN idea.

They eventually fell asleep. When they woke up, we were in the Midwest covered in dog hair.

Perhaps it was all of the dog hair, or the entire tub of Pringles that Wes ate in, like, TWO SECONDS. But somewhere in the Middle, we heard moaning in the back seat.

"I have a stomach ache."

"What," I screeched. "What kind of stomach ache," I demanded. "Do you have to go to the bathroom," I asked. Or, the horrible, horrible alternative:

"Do you have to throw up?"

"I think I have to throw up," Wes whimpered.

We opened all of the windows to get air moving, and at the next "safe" area, I pulled the car over.

We sat for several minutes with a ten year old dangling out of the back seat, unsuccessfully summoning the contents of his belly.

We tentitively continued on.

Not five minutes later I heard wretching. I looked back and Wes was bent over and throwing up on the floor.

Chaos ensued.

"Get a bag! Get a bag," I yelled. There was no bag. Anywhere.

I was swerving, hit gravel and flung stones at the startled minivan behind us.

I rolled his window all the way down.

"Throw up out the window," Chris yelled.

"There's a car behind us. He can't do that," I screamed.

Swerving.

More swerving.

"Throw up out the window," Chris repeated. Pathetically, Wes stuck his head out the window while vomiting.

Maggie was exhausted from the drive.

A portion of the vomit showered the car behind us, but most of it hit our car and flew back in all over Wesley's shirt, the back window.

Swerving.

Swear words.

Mass confusion in the minivan unfortunate enough to be directly behind us.

The drive to the next exit was interminable. As in, we drove at LEAST 25 miles in the middle of no where to find a gas station.

Chris walked in and bought paper towels, Lysol wipes and trash bags. The small town gas station attendant eyeballed us suspiciously from her place behind the cash register.

Wes stumbled out of the car covered in vomit. Chris handed him a change of clothing and a trash bag and ordered him inside to clean himself up. Chris, my angel, cleaned up the mess in the back seat.

We started on the road again a bit more defeated, knowing that our destination was still about 8 hours away.

Driving straight through always seems like such a good idea. The trip was about 25 hours total, and that included stops.

I distinctly remember how much easier these marathons were for us in our 20's. We would drive and drive and bounce back.

The German Shepherd and the Norweigan Elkhound sort of got along....

We arrived home yesterday.

I loved every minute in Minnesota and was so happy to spend time with my husband's family. Not everyone can say that about their inlaws....but I am blessed beyond belief that I definitely can.

I was able to hold my twin nieces that I hadn't seen before, and watch Maggie play with her cousin. They are both three and fought like cats and dogs... both of them challenged by the concept of "sharing."

They sled together and played "house." They took videos and pictures of each other on the Mac's Photo Booth.

At an excellent Mexican restaurant. Somewhere in MN where they had mad accents.

The first night home, I crawled into my bed....so happy to be home. Only to be woken up by hacking and croupy coughing from Maggie. Then my husband kept waking me up to tell me to stop snoring. Each time I would wake up, I would be covered in drool; I was sleeping so deeply.

Chris suggested that this could be a yearly thing.

I looked at my hands that are chapped and dry, my sinuses were dry and are painful ~ my skin is flaking. I have cankles.

I think I need a year to recover.

We'll discuss it in 2013.

The divas: no photos!

Wordless Wednesday (Things that Made me Laugh This Morning)

2012-01-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

Dammit. When I got into the car, I was seriously intending on running stop signs and barreling over some pedestrians. But then I saw this message, and was reminded to.....not. (FYI, this was my sister-in-law's car. I had to take a pic.)

And, this is an old video, but I just saw it this week. And although it is pretty sad, it is hilarious at thesame time:
Drunk Guy in Store

Toilets, German Shepherds and 3 Year Olds.

2011-12-29T14:36:00.001-05:00

Because this face doesn't look ornery, at ALL.

I woke up this morning with the heat blowing on my face.

The outside temperature had hit somewhere around 45 and my husband's Florida blood couldn't bear the cold.

I also felt a wet spot by my shoulder and smelled urine. There was a foot in my face.

Maggie, 3, regularly wanders into our bedroom at night. She doesn't regularly leak on our bed.

I longed to stay in bed longer, but the circumstances surrounding me were not favorable.

Maggie has had some rough spots and has presented some interesting challenges to us. I.e.: how to clean her messes up.

We have moved past the poop smearing, thank GAWD. Everyone is pretty much potty trained and there are no more turds in the washing machine.

(I just want to give out a shout out to the LORD JESUS CHRIST for having a mostly potty trained 3 year old. I was dealing with that s**t, literally, far into the 4's with the boys.)

She found a inked dinosaur stamp somewhere upstairs last week.

She came down with blue hands and face and told me she had "decorated." Um, more like defaced three walls, the window sill and the flat screen t.v.

Two days ago, she flushed an apple down the toilet. Except the apple is stuck somewhere out of reach to us. We hope that it will soon decompose without to many creepy crawlies who show up to help in the decomposition process.

A lot of great ideas were presented to us on Facebook to take care of this apple problem, but so close to our impending vacation, Chris and I just can't gather the strength to take a toilet apart or call a plumber.

Instead, I had Wesley make a sign. He decorated it nicely and taped it on the toilet. It says "ABSOLUTELY DO NOT USE THIS TOILET" in neat, bubbled letters. He also drew pictures of a toilet and a plunger that were strikingly similar to the real things.

We have had an interesting, stressful few months in our house. I can only believe that the stress will get better. It MUST.

Our German Shepherd, Thora, is the source of a lot of our angst.

Both Maggie and Thora are growing up, though.

And I have high hopes for both of them to be ROCK STARS.

Soon.

I have wondered if we are cut out for German Shepherd ownership about ten thousand times since July.

She is now six months old and doesn't listen to us. When we give her a command, I SWEAR the bitch MOCKS us.

Stares at us. Like this.

We say "come," and she sits down and stares. I take this as a puppy equivalent of a "screw you."

I have read that she is testing us and we need to be consistent with her. I am rarely consistent with anything, except with my choice of boxed wines.

It is wearing on me having a staring contest with a six month old puppy EVERY time I want her to follow a command.

Two days ago, I had enough of her. I grabbed her by the scruff, flipped her on her back and held her down on her back for a minute, hollering "I'M THE ALPHA FEMALE! I'M THE ALPHA! I'M THE ALPHA!"

Ragnar is Thora's boy toy.

Anyone who has spent any time with German Shepherds knows that the majority of their communication consists of whines and cries.

On her back, Thora didn't just whine, she screamed. I know she wasn't in pain, she was just really pissed off at me.

I would hate for anyone to driven by and seen me "losing my crap"; however, since we live on a busy-ish road, I can't rule out the possibility.

Both of us were scratched and fought for dominance. It just HAPPENED that this occurred outside in the back yard in dirt and mud. I came inside completely covered in dirt from my face to my toes.

Things are going to change in our house this year. I'm going to be healthier, happier and dammit....we are all going to get along.

I'm going to be Alpha female.

With the help of my iron pills (I have been anemic for who knows how long...) and my vitamin B12 shots (I was crazy deficient in B-12) I will be superwoman. I just know it.

And since we canceled our cable service, we are going be more creative. As in, creative about how to watch Real Housewives shows via the internet.

We are going to talk to each other about our feelings.

We received a beautiful piano lately and we moved the television upstairs. We have a music room. There will be pretty much only music playing during the day, thanks to 8tracks.com and Pandora.

There will be a peace in our house, dagnabbit, even if there will be fisticuffs for me to achieve it.

It's An Accountability Thing

2011-11-10T12:58:00.000-05:00

I am a walking health disaster. It's embarrassing.

I feel like those people on the show Hoarders, but the "house" is my body. And the mess that I have been trying to keep hidden for so long has started to spill out and be noticable to everyone else around me.

If I were on the show for my house, at this point, the smell of putrifying garbage would be noticeable and the health department would be called.

But people don't generally tell other people that they are fat. Unless that person is a doctor or a spouse who is trying to be "helpful."

Most of the time, however, it is not helpful because the fat person already knows that they are fat. Heavy people are fighting their own battles internally ~ guilt, addiction, self-control battles, shame ~ and to have the outward manifestations of their battles pointed out causes more anxiety on top of what she is already experiencing.

I saw an acupuncturist this week. I have realized, however, I can only have so many things done TO me before I need to do things to myself.

I have been trying to incorporate at least 20 minute walks into my daily routine.

But... this 20 minute walk thing is really unnerving to me because it is SO far from where I have been.

I have been a runner, and the 20 minute walk thing is SO UNBELIEVABLY lame.

Like an ass, I tried to walk with no socks on a few days ago, and it created a blister on the back of my heel that now makes it impossible for me to wear real shoes, even WITH bandages and socks. Now I am hobbling like a cripple, let alone trying to walk a mile.

Again, so LAME.

I am seeing a new doctor next week. He is doctor of osteopath, and he does adjustments. He is an hour away; I am willing to drive to see a good doctor.

I am looking forward to it....as if all of my problems ~ blood pressure, addictions, depression, could be solved by a spinal manipulation.

I am also dreading it at the same time.... because I have to see a new doctor who is probably going to be like, "What the HELL is up with your weight?"

I want to say "I don't understand what is happening to me, what is happening to my metabolism, my body and my mind have gone absolutely haywire."

My ultimate goal is to be off all of my medication. I think that a D.O. will get that more than my regular M.D.

I recently watched Forks Over Knives and I feel that it is possible with diet. I have "The China Study" coming to me in the mail.

I tried to eat a meat free diet yesterday, with beans, etc. I finally caved at about 9pm and inhaled several chicken tenderloins. I think back with clarity ~ as one does, always, in hindsight: I should have just gone to bed.

I wanted to write this because this is definitely my low.

I want to remember this week ~ put it out there and make my struggle public.

It's an accountablity thing.