Our two, newly neutered kitties have been keeping me company by sleeping a lot in their bed (and sometimes with me). The poor kittens are knocked out by their pain meds, which they're about to get another dose of when I'm done with this.

 
So far I've done a few fun things, like find lamps I want for our bedroom:

Love, love, love this with our inky blue walls. I also love this, from The Vintage Pearl:

Woohoo for shopping online when you're home sick! Tonight, my big plans are to lay on the couch, eat a wonderful dinner made by Pete, and maybe throw a load of laundry in. Or take a nap. Tough life, I know!

In her most recent blog post, Penelope talks about blogging boundaries, which is something that I struggle with. She is so honest, which is why people read what she writes. The same goes with Jenn Mattern, a recently divorced mommy blogger who is bipolar and trying to raise both of her kids.

I love reading about real people. Idealic lives make me uneasy, because even though things are perfect on the outside, they are never really perfect. I want to write that way on my blog, but the advent of Facebook and having an actual career make me careful. The career is what makes me really careful. It's not that I'm not honest, I'm just selective, which is why I haven't been posting much. 2010 will be a new year for You Shall Above All Things Be Glad and Young.

Reflections

Last year was a good year. Pete and I celebrated our first successful year of marriage, and I celebrated my first year at the "new" (now old! haha) job. The joys of being gainfully employed are definitely not lost on me. I also picked up a freelance gig that will be bringing in a little bit of extra money each month.  We spent time with our families and friends, though not as much as we wanted to. Tater passed away, breaking both of our hearts, and we welcomed two new kittens into the family to help heal the wounds. We didn't pay off as much debt as we wanted to, and also cancelled our spring trip to Ireland to focus more on that.

Resoultions

As with any new year post, you have to look at what you want to accomplish in the coming year. There are a few things for me:

1. Get control of my spending priorities. I'll admit that Peter is not really the spender in our family. It's usually me. The things I think we need, and the things that we actually need, are often not the same. I also spend most of my fun money at lunch on work because I'm lazy. I need to focus on having fun with my fun money, and not eating out.
2. Lose 15-20 pounds. Rachel and Ricardo are getting married in April, and as a bridesmaid, I am going to be wearing a sari that may show my belly. Must take care of this before their wedding! It's not so much about the poundage as it is about gaining more strength and muscle tone. If I can get down to 135 lbs of muscle, I'll be happy.
3. Learn to manage stress better. I am not good with stress management at all. I feel like I have everything under control, but my body tells me otherwise. I'm not sleeping well, having trouble concentrating, and always tense in my shoulders, etc. I'm already working on this, but I hope to have it under control by the end of the year.
4. Pay down at least $10,000 of our debt. I'm turning 27 soon, and if we're going to have kids, we would really like to be in a better financial position. The last few years have been hard with job issues, but I really want to kick it up a notch in 2010. This will include us making a few cuts (fun money and cable), and me making some extra money through freelance and babysitting.
5. Visit at least two out of town friends. Everyone is moving away! Two of my closest friends live out of state, and now two of my other closest friends live out of Orlando. Hopefully I will make it to 2/4 places this year!
6. Blog at least twice a week. I want to remember things! Must write them down!

I think that six resolutions is enough for now. Hope everyone had a happy and safe new year!

THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR( things you can't live without)

Something important on your desk: my steno pad

When you sleep you wear: night gown or boxers/shirt 

If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: a brand new kitchen, new windows for the upstairs, and new curtains for the downstairs. and some paint.

Something you don't have a lot of: time

If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: our cats, my journals, my laptop

MORALS 

If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: ugh pepsi and chocolate. pepsi is my downfall. 

A compliment that makes you blush: really no compliments make me blush right now. i've tried to be better about accepting compliments, and accept them graciously.

You are embarassed when: I've learned to laugh at myself in the last three years. This year I called our CEO by the wrong name, so I'd say when I do something retarded like that.

The greatest physical pain you ever endured: It's a toss up between tennis elbow in college and ovarian cysts.

The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: Losing my best friend, and unexpected deaths. Tater passing away was pretty terrible too.

Your best physical feature: eyes

EMOTIONS 

Emotion you hide most: I think I'm pretty good at hiding being really angry, which mostly applies on the tennis court. I always feel bitchy, but people don't know that I'm being bitchy. 

The emotion you tend to experience most: Melancholy would be the historical answer, but it's few and far between these days. 

The emotion you are feeling most lately: I would say a mixture between happy and overwhelmed. Craziness at work, holidays coming up. There's a lot to be grateful for, but also a lot going on.

You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: the death of our cat. Is there something else we could have done? I know there wasn't, but it's only been a few months and it still hits me sometimes.

When you are angry you need: to get away from people so i can cry. it's so annoying that i cry when i'm frustrated. tennis is also a pretty good outlet. unfortunately tennis can't go everywhere with you, which is where the crying comes in.

When you are sentimental you need: to reread old blog/journal entries and listen to music that reminds me of things

When you are in love you need: Denis Pete

MEMORIES 

One of your most peaceful memories: waking up to have tater snuggled up next to me, and falling back asleep.

One of your most tragic memories: the death of the tater was pretty traumatic. also when my aunt and cousin died in a car accident, and when i found out my papa had cancer.

One of your angriest memories: most of these involve middle aged tennis women that refer to me as a high schooler still. i haven't been really angry in quite awhile.

A memory that makes you laugh: i was late to something at work, and when i walked in the employee entrance i involuntarily dropped the cup i was holding on the ground. ice/coke when everywhere. right in front of the ceo. i'm awesome. hopefully my hijinks are endearing haha. 

a memory that makes you happy: thinking about our wedding

FINALLY>>>>>> 

If you had more time alone you would: read and play more tennis

If you had more patience you would: try to learn to play an instrument. 

If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be: my waistlessness. i get it from my mom. my sister has a waist, i want one too!

If you had no committments what would you be doing: playing tennis with all the desperate housewife tennis moms during the day, and then freelance editing. i would be traveling on the side, of course.

If you could start all over.... i wouldn't change a thing. i've learned that things happen for a reason, even if you can't see it right away.

If you are me, crying at work seems to be unavoidable. No matter how hard I try to hold it in, my neck gets blotchy, my face turns red, and the tears spill over.

Work has been a little crazy the last few days. More for my old and new boss(es?) than for me, I'm sure. A few organizational changes caught me by surprise during an already busy week. I try to roll with the punches, I really do. The changes will probably add to my workload, and in a week where I'm out of the office half the time, thinking about that really stressed me out. Combine that with two cats who don't want to sleep a whole night through and a series of headaches that haven't gone away, and you're left with a tired me. When my boss looked at me in a meeting today and said, "Lindsay, you look overwhelmed," I cracked. I started to cry. I had been holding it in all day, and I couldn't stop it. It just happened. I am such a bad feeling hider! And then if people ask me a question or notice, it's all over and the tears flow.

I wonder if this is a bad thing. Does it show weakness? Usually I cry out of frustration, stress, or anger, which seems to be a typical response according to what I've read. I feel like I should be myself, tears or no tears. I am an ISFJ, after all!

I would like to introduce you to Finnegan and Thorin, our two new additions.

After Tater died, I realized that we needed to start at least interviewing breeders for when it was time to get a new kitten. Once you put a deposit on a kitten that's in a litter, you wait for it to be born and then weaned, which can take 12-16 weeks depending on the breeder. We thought that getting kittens around Christmastime would be perfect, since my job has a holiday shutdown.

I contacted Ciandor Cattery about her kittens, and I knew that Meaghan would be the breeder for us. She was friendly, informative, and wants to keep in contact with us over the course of our cats' lives. I liked that. She also had two kittens that would be ready to be adopted. Pete and I thought it over and decided that we should go for it. It might have been a little soon (my heart still hurts and I still break down once in awhile about Tater), but I definitely don't regret adding these two boys to our family.

The boys look alike, but couldn't be more different. Finn is afraid of everything, and Thorin walked right up to the vacuum cleaner when I turned it on. Thorin likes to sleep under the covers by your feet, and Finn likes to sleep in your arms. Finn loves feathers, and Thorin prefers the cat dancer. The list goes on. We're enjoying getting to know the boys, even if it does mean getting woken up at 4 am by Finn because he needs snuggles!
 

Guess who missed a flight for the first time in her life. FOR A WORK TRIP. Ughhhhh. I am so mad at myself right now. I set two alarms. One didn't go off. I slept through the phone one, as well as multiple phone calls from Yolanda. My phone vibrated off the bed. My 22 year old self travelled all over the place with Harcourt, but 26 year old Lindsay can't get out of bed?! WTF is wrong with me!

Now I'm late to Cleveland, the keynote speaker, and I had to get another ticket.

This one goes down as my most unprofessional move ever. Awesome.