via Mormon Musings: Good Grief, Im Un-Marriageable?!.

—William J. Bennett Why men are in trouble – CNN.com.

The [...]]]>

“Increasingly, the messages to boys about what it means to be a man are confusing. The machismo of the street gang calls out with a swagger. Video games, television and music offer dubious lessons to boys who have been abandoned by their fathers.”

—William J. Bennett
Why men are in trouble – CNN.com.

The pendulum swings both ways.

Whereas 20th century western culture fostered a prototype of  the brainless homemaker woman, the sexual revolution has popularized a prototypically stupid male with lack of ambition, latched to the teet of sports, games, and pornography.

Sadly, it appears these warped gender roles have infiltrated our church membership to a remarkable degree. As Latter-day Saints, striving to be disciples of Jesus Christ, we must do more than resist the world’s temptations: we must reject the world’s expectations.

So, begin to expect men to be less Adam Sandler and more Ammon. Don’t excuse your disappointment in the men you know, but encourage development of righteous traits. Stop measuring others against the standard of the world— measure them against “the fullness of the stature of Christ.” (Eph. 4:13)

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Mostly, the commenters have debated over various definitions of what exactly constitutes a “hot drink”, which the word of wisdom prohibits. Others argue that any obviously unhealthy thing is against the WoW, [...]]]> Over at By Common Consent, there’s a new Q&A series leading off with the question “is arby’s jamocha shake against word of wisdom?”

Mostly, the commenters have debated over various definitions of what exactly constitutes a “hot drink”, which the word of wisdom prohibits. Others argue that any obviously unhealthy thing is against the WoW, like High Fructose Corn Syrup. All-in-all, one very important facet of this law hasn’t received much attention.

Dietary laws are not peculiar to this generation; the Law of Moses forbade the eating of certain foods, such as pork. In time, the Lord removed this law as the gospel was taken to the gentile nations. Did the nutritive and chemical properties fo pork magically change around 40 A.D.? Obviously not. Did the Lord stop caring about the health of His children? No way!

Thus, the question we need to ask is, “why did the Lord forbid certain foods at some times and not others?” The only answer that sits right with me is that the purpose of dietary restrictions is not health-related, but rather a cultural tool.

In ancient times, the Jews were known, in large part, because of their dietary restrictions. This marked them as a different sort of people and kept them, in some ways, culturally divided from others. Is it possible that this is the same purpose in the Lord’s restricting certain foods among Latter-day Saints?

In light of this idea, passing on the Jamocha shake is a simple decision. True, it may not be exactly the same as drinking coffee outright, but to the outside world, would they see any real difference? Probably not. So, in order to maintain this aspect of Mormon identity, it’s probably better not to add to, or take away from, the Word of Wisdom.

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I get [...]]]> A very interesting post, though I don’t think I totally agree with some of the points made. Obviously, many church members fetishize modesty, and our cultural perceptions thereof are probably warped. However, does that mean that how we dress doesn’t matter? Does it mean there’s no divine standard in dress and grooming?

I get worried when a writer presents a solution of, “do what you feel good about” because it ignores the principle of law.

Perverting Modesty « By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog.

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Teaching on a plain overlooking Galilee and then to believers gathered around a temple in the Americas, the Savior admonished His disciples to “be the salt of the earth”.¹ Understanding this commandment puts perspective on the relationship between our premortal and earth life. When this principle is understood, we discover that the Lord [...]]]>

Teaching on a plain overlooking Galilee and then to believers gathered around a temple in the Americas, the Savior admonished His disciples to “be the salt of the earth”.¹ Understanding this commandment puts perspective on the relationship between our premortal and earth life. When this principle is understood, we discover that the Lord blesses His children through a small but powerful minority. As members of the church, we have the responsibility to be those people.

Who we are:

From the restoration onward the Lord’s prophets have declared that choice children of Heavenly Father have been reserved specifically for this time.² Aside from the obvious confidence which can come from truly believing this, the most important consideration is the question of why we were reserved. We must comprehend this in order to know what it is we must do in our time on Earth.

The great prophet Alma, seeking to reclaim those who had lost their way, shared insight about the nature of our foreordination. Speaking of those who held the Holy Priesthood, he taught that they received their calling based on premortal righteousness. Thus, they were, “called and prepared from the foundation of the world… on account of their exceeding faith and good works[.]” The purpose of this foreordination was so that “the people might know in what manner to look forward to his Son for redemption.” ³ Thus, the role of priesthood-holders is to provide a present example of Christ; to point the way to the Savior’s salvation.

This calling does not only apply to the men of the church. John A. Widtsoe applied the doctrine of foreordination to all church members.

“In our preexistent state … we made a certain agreement with the Almighty. … We agreed … to be not only saviors for ourselves but measurably, saviors for the whole human family. We went into a partnership with the Lord. The working out of the plan became then not merely the Father’s work, and the Savior’s work, but also our work.” ⁴

Thus, every soul who comes to this earth accepted the challenge to prove themselves faithful, but a select number desired to take on extra work: to help others find the salvation they hoped to gain. These spirits understood that the world would be cut off from the Lord’s presence, that He could not be there physically, and that they could serve as a bridge back to Him for their beloved brothers and sisters. Though we may not understand it, we are those people.

As members of Christ’s church, we make up a minuscule fraction of the earth’s population. Thus, we cannot justifiably shrug off the commitments we have made. Our work is integral to His work and the salvation of our brothers and sisters hangs in the balance. The lord has called us to be the saviors of men with this warning— “And inasmuch as they are not the saviors of men, they are as salt that has lost its savor, and is thenceforth good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men.” ⁵

Why salt?

Jehovah, in revealing His law to Moses commanded every offering to be salted. ⁶ In ancient semitic culture, salt was a symbol of purity. To this day Arabs say “there is salt between us”, which refers to the sharing of meals. Thus, salt is also a sign of friendship and hospitality. ⁷

Additionally, the characteristics of salt inform us on the kind of discipleship the Lord expects from us.

1. Salt is pure.

Salt will remain in it’s pure chemical compound forever. The purity of salt is only compromised through contamination. Similarly, as God’s chosen servants, we should remain uncontaminated through mixture with the philosophies of men, the uncleanliness of the world, and unrighteous dominion. ⁸

2. Salt is preserving.

From ancient times salt has been recognized for his curative and preservative properties. Applied to food, it changes the chemical state from one prone to deterioration to one which can endure. Similarly, we have in our possession the renewing power of the gospel life. As we help others to receive the Holy Ghost, they change into a state which allows for enduring to the end.

3. Salt is valuable.

Because of it’s potency, and because of limited means of obtaining it, salt was always expensive and precious in the ancient world. So to, covenant members of the Lord’s church are precious and rare, but strong.

4. Salt is cleansing.

In a negative sense, pouring salt in a wound is a phrase which denotes an increase of pain. However, that pain comes as a sign of cleansing which prevents infection and begins the healing process. We too can show the way to begin healing for God’s children.

5. Salt is powerful.

Only a very small amount of salt my flavor a much larger portion of food. Only superficial application of salt to a piece of meat, for instance, is enough to effect a major change in it’s chemical composition. Likewise, though few in number, as God’s chosen, foreordained servants, we are powerful. We can cause a great and marvelous change throughout the larger portion of the world’s population.

How we become the ‘salt of the earth’.

Salt was always associated with the covenants and ordinances of the ancient temple. Today it is also through living our covenants that we become the salt of the earth. The immediately obvious covenant in relation to our service to others is The Law of Consecration. Sadly, it is also one of the least understood and most neglected of all the covenants we make in this church.

“Many ignore consecration because it seems too abstract or too daunting. The conscientious among us, however, experience divine discontent because of progression mixed with procrastination.” —Neal A. Maxwell ⁹

That nagging feeling inside, pestering you to do more, to be better— listen to it. Consecration puts our duty and our work in perspective. As we put the kingdom of God and service to His children ahead of our own interests we better remember our place in this work and progress down the path of our potential.

A consecrated disciple would not forgo a conversation with an obviously troubled stranger because of business.

A consecrated disciple would not reject a call to home teach a less-than-firendly less active member.

A consecrated disciple would not demand compensation for service rendered.

In short, a consecrated disciple is more concerned about them than themselves.

Eye hath not seen.

We cannot comprehend, now, all the blessings that await us. The blessings of striving to be the salt of the earth have are less like rewards of gold stars and more like the awareness of added muscle from concerted exercise. The very fact that the Lord allows us, mere infants, to work alongside Him is magnificently humbling.

“At the perfect day, we will see that we have been a part of things too wonderful for us. Part of the marvel and the wonder of God’s ‘marvelous work and a wonder’ will be how perfect Divinity mercifully used us—imperfect humanity.” ¹⁰

 

At the end of our journey it will be amazing to see what we have become if we have lived up to our potential, because we will have become like Christ. ¹¹

1. Matthew 15:3, 3 Nephi 12:13

2. “You are not just ordinary young men and young women. You are choice spirits, many of you having been held back in reserve for almost 6,000 years to come forth in this day, at this time when the temptations, responsibilities, and opportunities are the very greatest. ” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, pp. 43, 46–47; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, pp. 30, 32)

“The Lord has chosen a small number of choice spirits … to come forth in the last day … to organize the Kingdom of God upon the earth, to build it up and to defend it” (Wilford Woodruff, as quoted in Our Lineage [course of study for genealogy classes, 1933], pt. 1, p. 4).

“You, our youth of today, are among the most illustrious spirits to be born into mortality in any age of the world. … Be prepared to become leaders in that glorious millennial day when Christ himself will reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords” (Harold B. Lee, “Happiness through Faith in Jesus Christ” [family home evening manual, 1977–78], pp. 34, 39)

3. Alma 13:2-5

4. Utah Genealogical and Historical Magazine, Oct. 1934, p. 189).

5. D&C 103:9-10

6. Leviticus 2:13 – “And every oblation of thy meat offering shalt thou season with salt; neither shalt thou suffer the salt of the covenant of thy God to be lacking from thy meat offering: with all thine offerings thou shalt offer salt.”

7. The World Book Encyclopedia, 1978, 17:69 

8. “Savor is lost through mixture and contamination. Similarly, priesthood power does not dissipate with age; it, too, is lost through mixture and contamination. … Flavor and quality flee a man when he contaminates his mind with unclean thoughts, desecrates his mouth by speaking less than the truth, and misapplies his strength in performing evil acts.” (Carlos E. Asay, “Salt of the Earth: Savor of Men and Saviors of Men,” Ensign, May 1980, 42)

9. Neal A. Maxwell, “Consecrate Thy Performance,” Ensign, May 2002, 36

10. Neal A. Maxwell, “‘Out of Obscurity’,” Ensign, Nov 1984, 8 

11. Moroni 10:48

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“All of these baits appeal to a very basic human impulse: ‘I want their reward, their dessert.’ It’s an insatiable sweet tooth that grows longer every day in the decadently consumer-centric First World.

I think life is too short not to enjoy as much of it as reasonably possible. But [...]]]> J. Eddie Smith IV:

“All of these baits appeal to a very basic human impulse: ‘I want their reward, their dessert.’ It’s an insatiable sweet tooth that grows longer every day in the decadently consumer-centric First World.

I think life is too short not to enjoy as much of it as reasonably possible. But people who focus only on dessert implicitly make the assumption that fun can’t be found in work.

So they work very hard at avoiding work.”

via A lifelong optimization problem.

This is very relevent to Latter-day Saints. Our gospel is a gospel of work. That work is not merely a condition of mortality, but rather, a nobel, godly, principle. The heaven of this church is far less harp-playing and far more labor for others’ salvation.

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“However dim our days may seem they have been darker for the Savior of the world.

In fact, in a resurrected, otherwise perfected body, our Lord … has chosen to retain for the benefit of his disciples the wounds in his hands and his feet and his side—signs, if you will, [...]]]>

Jeffrey R. Holland:

“However dim our days may seem they have been darker for the Savior of the world.

In fact, in a resurrected, otherwise perfected body, our Lord … has chosen to retain for the benefit of his disciples the wounds in his hands and his feet and his side—signs, if you will, that painful things happen even to the pure and perfect. Signs, if you will, that pain in this world is not evidence that God doesn’t love you. It is the wounded Christ who is the captain of our soul—he who yet bears the scars of sacrifice, the lesions of love and humility and forgiveness.”

via “This Do in Remembrance of Me” – Ensign Nov. 1995.

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I’m sure you’ve heard counsel to the YM along the lines of “Don’t just marry a girl because she’s pretty–you may be stuck with a shallow, or faithless, or humorless hag for all eternity” (of course, they phrase it a little more nicely). But you never hear this: “Don’t just date [...]]]>

Julie M. Smith:

I’m sure you’ve heard counsel to the YM along the lines of “Don’t just marry a girl because she’s pretty–you may be stuck with a shallow, or faithless, or humorless hag for all eternity” (of course, they phrase it a little more nicely). But you never hear this: “Don’t just date the pretty girls, because you’ll cause girls to obsess about their looks and possibly sin as they try to win the beauty arms race.” In other words, we always couch the counsel in terms of the costs and benefits to the boy himself–not to the girls affected by his decisions. We should do the same with the YW. Each YM or YW should be the star of their own story–not the subject of someone else’s.

via Stop Telling the YW to Be Modest for the YM | Times & Seasons.

This is a great post, and the above is one of many fantastic points from Julie.

I think the difference in teaching style stems from the differing responses of genders in incentives; or at least assumptions about that. It seems that males do not tend to respond as well to guilt as they do to self-interest while the reverse may be true of women, as they are more likely to be self-sacrificing. Of course this may not always or even mostly be true, but it’s a cultural stereotype we seem to have been conditioned to accept.

That being said, guilt never seems to be an overall effective method for teaching doctrine. The spirit is not going to accompany guile and compulsion in teaching, and without that divine seal, testimonies aren’t strengthened.

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A goal is different from a hope or dream. The purpose is not to simply mark down what we desire, but to create actions and tasks in order to achieve that desire. Often we like to think of goals as these things we constantly think about and long for, which provide hope, but [...]]]>

A goal is different from a hope or dream. The purpose is not to simply mark down what we desire, but to create actions and tasks in order to achieve that desire. Often we like to think of goals as these things we constantly think about and long for, which provide hope, but sometimes we actually have goals that we know we need to accomplish, but actually strike us with fear and horror. Missions, marriage, having children, obtaining a degree, repenting; these all can create paralyzing anxiety. Most of us are good at understanding that we need to do something, but we don’t know how.

The how is what I want to tackle today. Throughout my life I’ve found simple tools and ways of looking at goals that I may or may not have ripped off from friends, leaders, and gurus. Here’s how it works.

Create two columns:

1. Can’t control
2. Can control

It’s easier to list all of the things we can’t control because our mind will naturally point these out as excuses to procrastinate. If you’ve been procrastinating, then you’ve probably already got this list memorized, so go to town.

Example: Marriage

Can’t control:

• Income – gotta’ be able to afford marriage right? Having a good job makes you more viable, doesn’t it?
• Attraction – I’d kind of like my wife to be into me.
• Agency – I can’t force anybody to do it. They have to want to.
• Prospects – these are limited by geography unless I want to succumb to online dating…which I don’t.

Once you’ve created that list, think of similar aspects that you can control. For instance, I can’t control attraction, but I can increase my likelihood of being attractive; I can do things that give me a better chance. Usually, you will discover that the uncontrollable elements of your goals involve the agency of others, while the controllable counterparts involve use of our agency. So, with that in mind, here are some examples of what I may be able to control.

Can control:

• Financial responsibility – I can’t always control what I earn, but I can control how I use it.
  • Live within my means
  • Budget
  • Avoid unnecessary debt
• Appearance – I can’t control my attractiveness, but I can promote it.
  • Improve health through diet and exercise.
  • Dress nicer; wear more suiting attire.
  • Improve hygiene; be clean and smell nice
  • Stop slouching
• Personality – I can change my behavior in positive ways.
  • Smile more
  • Treat others better
  • Show greater respect and appreciation to the opposite sex
  • Be nicer
  • Eliminate unattractive and harmful quirks/habits/traits.
• Worthiness – if I’m prepared I won’t miss an opportunity.
  • Honor my priesthood
  • Magnify my calling
  • Hold and use a current temple recommend
  • Stay worthy of the spirit so I can get some help!
• Dating – date more people in order to improve my chances
  • “It’s always the last place you look” so don’t stop looking.
  • If I run out of people to date, consider moving.
  • Treat my dates with respect and courtesy
  • Find ideas for more engaging dates

Once we have these two lists it becomes easier to see what we should and shouldn’t be worrying about. Obsessing over something we cannot control dooms us to misery. Don’t do it! Instead, decide to focus on those things you can control so that you can feel the joy and pride of accomplishment.

In the beginning, these may still seem like large goals. For instance, “improve health through diet and exercise” is monumental. So, break it down into simple tasks that you can complete. Think of daily tasks rather than abstract feely stuff. It’s easier to say, “I will limit my daily carbohydrates to 100 grams” than it is to say “I will eat healthier”. Remember, you have to be able to easily and simply measure it.

With that in mind, I’d love to hear from you. What are some of the goals and changes you have control over that can make a positive outcome toward a big scary monster goal?

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When we get emotionally and spiritually involved in helping a person who is in pain, a compassion enters our heart. It hurts, but the process lifts some of the pain from another. We get from the experience a finite look into the Savior’s pain as He performed the infinite Atonement. Through [...]]]>

Glenn L. Pace:

When we get emotionally and spiritually involved in helping a person who is in pain, a compassion enters our heart. It hurts, but the process lifts some of the pain from another. We get from the experience a finite look into the Savior’s pain as He performed the infinite Atonement. Through the power of the Holy Ghost, a sanctification takes place within our souls and we become more like our Savior. We gain a better understanding of what was meant when He said, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” ( Matt. 25:40.)

( “A Thousand Times,” Ensign, Nov 1990,

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