Young Adult Revisited

The Baby-Sitters Club #118: Kristy Thomas, Dog Trainer

2013-05-11T04:33:00.002-04:00

This book was really easy to read because nothing really happens!

It's a normal day in the Brewer-Thomas household, and Kristy lets us know that Watson has a bunch of magazines spread out because he's planning their new garden. He tells her that some of the stuff on the table is about guide dogs because he's considering signing the family up as a puppy trainer. A puppy trainer is someone who takes care of a guide dog when it's a puppy and turns it over later. He warns her that they have to pass some tests first, but naturally, they get a dog.

They pick Scout up and get a bunch of information about taking care of her. She has to go to obedience school for awhile, and Kristy, Watson, and Karen all go to the first one with her. Everyone thinks Scout is oh so cute except for one woman at the grocery store. She pitches a fit about how they shouldn't allow dogs in the store, but the manager sides with them because it's a service animal, so the woman storms off.

The whole family starts taking her places so she can learn how to act. Kristy even takes Scout to Krushers practice, but she flips the fuck out because Karen gives Scout and Shannon shoes to chew on. She goes off on her about how dogs shouldn't play with shoes, and Abby has to step in and kind of diffuse the situation.

There's a whole backstory about Deb Copper. I haven't read a lot of the later books so I don't know if she appears in any others. Deb recently went blind, which is how Watson learned about the guide dog foundation. Deb is really sad, but she acts out so that people won't want to be around her. Mary Anne and Kristy both have problems with her before Kristy decides to try something.

She arranges for the other sitters to bring their charges over because she thinks maybe Deb will be okay with new people. Deb gets really pissy with them, and they all leave. When she's over there again, Deb wants to rent movies, but Kristy decides to play with the boys first. Deb leaves on her own and almost gets hit by a car, but Kristy saves her.

The foundation decides to host a Puppy Walker Day where everyone dresses up their dogs. Kristy invites Deb's family, and she finally starts loosening up. She doesn't smile in the pictures, but she does participate a little so it's a win. And Kristy lets us know that Scout is so smart that she won't have a problem making it through the program.

*Claudia brings over the Hobart boys who she sits for and Ben is one of them. Really, Ben? The eleven year old who is old enough to date but apparently can't cross the street without a sitter?

*I love that Kristy lives so far away that she needs to take the bus or get a ride, but when she sits for Deb who lives in the same neighborhood, everyone manages to get there no problem.

*They make a big point out of how Scout can't play with other dogs because then she'll always want to play with dogs, but then Kristy lets her play with Shannon.

*Kristy really should have known that bringing over a bunch of random people was a bad idea, and I'm surprised she didn't ask for permission first.

*Abby spends a surprisingly large amount of time around Scout given that she's so allergic. They mention it, but it's apparently okay because she sits near a window.

*Deb's brother Mark tries to play kickball with his eyes shut to figure out what life's like for her, which freaks out his little brother because he's worried they'll both go blind.

*So it's okay to bring home another pet, but only if you get rid of it later? That's kind of what Watson says here since he wouldn't let Kristy bring home Sonny.

*They conveniently run into a blind man who tells them all about how much a guide dog changed his life. He also somehow knows exactly what breed Scout is after petting her head.

*It seems strange that the foundation would let them send Scout to a normal obedience school when they offer their own classes. Kristy says it's because they live so far away from the foundation, but it seems like they would find people close enough to attend those classes.

*I'm also pretty sure that the foundation wouldn't be cool with a 13 year old girl training one of their dogs instead of an adult.

*Scout always has to wear a yellow jacket that identifies her as a guide dog in training. See what's missing on the cover?

*Ann compares training a guide dog to training her cat to stop clawing things. Yup, totally the same thing.

Ghosts of Fear Street #8: The Ooze (R.L. Stine)

2013-04-26T03:52:00.000-04:00

All poor Al wants for his birthday is a pair of roller blades. Unfortunately, he belongs to a family of brains who seem more concerned with teaching their pets stupid tricks than paying attention to him. Seriously, his sister Michelle taught her cat Chester to count, pull down the blinds, and use the electric can opener when he wants food. They also keep forcing him to study for the upcoming Science Bowl and reminding him that Michelle won every year she was in middle school.

The day of his birthday arrives, and his family seems pretty excited about his gift. Instead of new blades, he gets a chemistry set. To add to the fun, his parents decide that he can't actually use it until Michelle goes over all the safety regulations with him, and she's far too busy with her science club to help him in any way. He resigns himself to spending time with his dog Tubby, who is the stupidest dog in the world, and moping over his present.

When his best friend Colin discovers his present, he starts mixing things together to create a stink bomb. Al stops him because he's worried about an explosion, and Colin finds an orange slip of paper with instructions on how to make a stink bomb in the kit. Al thinks it's a little weird that it's on different paper than the rest of the instructions, but they do it anyway. They sneak it into the living room, where Michelle's club meets, but nothing happens.

When they head back into the basement, they find that the orange stuff in the beaker is suddenly a blob. Colin accidentally pours it onto the table and it starts going everywhere. After touching it with his bare hands, Al uses paper towels to grab the ooze and move it into a trunk. He does notice that it keeps breaking off into tiny balls before rolling back together. Chester also gets the ooze on his paws and he suddenly becomes stupid. The cat can't remember any tricks and barely remembers to use the litter box.

The next day, Al feels a little different. He puts his shoes on the wrong feet, can't remember basic things, and just plain feels groggy. He gets in trouble at school for not paying attention, and the school bully, Eric, goes off on him for giving him a wrong answer. His haze gets even worse the next day, and Eric makes him do his homework, but he can't remember how to add or multiply. Eric decides to beat him up and follows him after school. He manages to get away by hiding on Fear Street, but then he realizes that he's lost. Colin finds him and it turns out that he's only a few blocks from his house.

Al knows that something happened with the ooze but no one wants to listen. Michelle wins some big prize, and his parents decide that he's just acting out, so they make him stay home while they go out to celebrate. He puts some of the ooze in a container to take to his science teacher for help. During a meeting of the Science Bowl, the other members see it and start playing with it, and they get pissed because he flips out.

On the day of the Science Bowl, no one can remember even the most basic of questions. Al gets the only correct answer, which is one that his family tested him on that morning. Everyone gets in trouble, and the school cancels the event because they think the kids were all just goofing around. He and Colin finally decide that they need to confront the ooze.

The ooze is now one huge mass that rises up from the trunk and becomes a 12-foot tall blob. It reveals that it comes from an alien race that needs smart brains to survive. They slipped themselves into science kits because they assumed that the kids would go to smart kids. It takes Chester's brain and attacks Tubby, taking his brain too.

The blob comes after Al and actually manages to get his head in its mouth before it starts convulsing and seemingly dies. Al watches as its brain goes from really big to teeny, tiny, and he realizes that it's because it tried to take Tubby's brain and the dog is so stupid that it killed the blog. The two boys celebrate by stuffing it back into the trunk, dragging the trunk outside, and burying it in his backyard.

A few days later, he and his family are outside spending time together. Michelle notices some weird orange blobs in the yard, and he tells her not to touch them because they might be toxic. His parents agree but she grabs a handful anyway, and Al points out that his sister was always too smart for her own good.

*His parents are insane! They let Michelle create a literal bomb that explodes when he walks down the stairs to introduce him to the chemistry set, yet they won't let him play with it.

*While in his "stupid" state, Al actually walks face first into a glass door because he can't remember how to open it.

*Al says that Tubby no longer has a brain because the ooze took it, but Chester is suddenly fine, remembers all of his tricks, and is learning some new ones. The ooze ate both their brains, so why is Tubby the only one who got screwed?

*You know what's awesome? When you give a kid a birthday gift and then tell him he can't touch it for days/weeks. Oh, and when he does touch it, you yell at him for potentially messing things up. Nice.

*Ghosts of Fear Street make me a little sad. There's only one mention of Fear Street, and Al mentions in passing that his sister goes to Shadyside High School. Stine could have set this series anywhere.

Sweet Valley Twins #15: The Older Boy

2013-04-24T03:55:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I haven't recapped this yet! It's so full of ridiculousness!

Jessica and Lila are at the roller skating rink, and Jessica meets this cute older boy named Josh. Lila points out that he is way too older for her, but she decides to just lie to him and say that she's a freshman at Sweet Valley High. Since Josh is obviously a moron, he decides that she must be telling the truth, so he agrees to go out with her that weekend, and she asks him to pick her up at her friend's house.

Jessica manages to steal Elizabeth's best dress because a navy blue cotton dress with sandals is oh-so-elegant for a first date. Josh picks her up at Lila's house for a double date with his best friend Sam and his girlfriend Melanie. Since Melanie is a freshman, she keeps asking Jess about school, and they all think it's a little odd that she can't answer them.

They go to the Dairi Burger for dinner, and Jessica sees a little heart that someone drew with Josh and Anita inside. Since there obviously can't be two guys with the same name in the same town, she realizes that it's her Josh and his ex-girlfriend. Caroline Pearce sees them together and comes over to say hi, but Jess acts like she doesn't know her, even when she uses her name! The others want to go see an R-rated movie, but Jessica doesn't have a fake ID so they wind up at another movie. She thinks it went bad, but Josh gives her a kiss and asks her out on a second date.

Elizabeth and Amy are at the mall when Josh comes up and starts talking to her. After he leaves, Amy says that he used to date Caroline’s older sister Anita. Elizabeth realizes that he thought she was Jessica so she rushes home to talk to her twin. Jessica swears that they are just friends and that he's the same age as Steven.

Caroline naturally tells everyone what she saw, and it comes back to Liz. She confronts Jessica again and she just plays dumb. Liz knows that they made plans for that weekend and she calls her on it. Jessica lies, saying that she's going to Kerry Glenn's family cabin that weekend and that he was just going to call her on the phone. Elizabeth eventually finds out his actual age and Jess plays dumb again. She says that she had no idea of his age and that she would never have gone out with him if she did. She actually convinces Elizabeth that he lied to her about his age, and Liz totally buys it. When he calls that night, Jessica promises to break things off with him, but just makes plans for the weekend.

There's so big random circus coming to town that weekend and the Wakefields always go together. Ned waited too long to get tickets and it sold out. When he finally does get tickets, he learns that Jessica already has plans for the weekend, and Steven is going to the circus with some random girl he likes. Jessica throws such a hissy fit that Ned agrees to take her somewhere special the next weekend.

Alice actually acts like a parent in this one and refuses to let Jessica go to the cabin unless she talks to Kerry's mom. She convinces Lila to call and pretend to be her, and because Alice is a complete moron, she totally buys it. Jessica then goes over to Lila's house to spend the weekend.

Josh picks her up for their date and heads to pick up his cousin Megan before picking up her date. It turns out that her date is Steven. Jessica briefly thinks about making a run for it, but decides to stick it out. Josh then lets her know that he still has feelings for Anita but that he still wants to go through with their date. Jessica volunteers to go home but he refuses.

Steven comes outside and is shocked to see his sister. He teases her throughout the night but agrees to keep her secret. Jessica finds Anita crying in the bathroom and tells her that Josh is still in love with her. Anita comes over to see them and they're so smitten with each other that Jessica tries to sneak away. She runs into her parents and Liz and part of the story comes out in front of Josh. Steven convinces their parents to go on home and he'll bring Jessica back later.

Jessica tells Josh the whole story and he feels a little stupid. He confesses that he did something similar, stealing his dad's car when he was thirteen and lying to the cop who pulled him over. He tells her that she's a sweet kid and drops her off at home. Ned and Alice flip out but let her off pretty easy with just a grounding. Hell, she even gets to call Lila and tell her what happened.

The best part is that the rumor mill starts flying at SMS. The story Caroline spreads is that Jessica and Josh were hopelessly in love but that she sacrificed herself so he could go back to his ex. Naturally, she gets even more popular because she's the first Unicorn to date such an older guy.

*Really Josh, really? I feel like doing the whole "Really with Seth and Amy" from SNL right now. Look at that cover! She screams jail bait!

*Josh says that LILA looks young, and Jessica is all like, "oh yeah she's my friend but she's waaaay immature," and Josh is all like, "yeah, I can totally see that." Moron.

*There's no mention of anyone using a fake ID until Jessica brings it up. I so remember the days when anyone could get into an R-rated movie without the clerks checking.

*I know Josh is new to the dating world but telling your date that you are still in love with your ex is a no-no.

*Josh very clearly kisses Jessica at least twice in this book, but then we get a whole super special about her first kiss.

*I love Lila! When Jessica calls and says that she isn't coming back, Lila's mind immediately goes to a dirty place.

*This is the book where Jessica basically gives the gear shift a hand job while staring into Josh's eyes. Creepy.

*Lila assumes that Josh will take Jessica to all these romantic places like four-star restaurants and order fancy meals. I remember being in sixth grade and thinking that high school dates were actually like that.

*The rumor around school doesn't really make sense. If they were so much in love, why would he still have feelings for his ex?

*Steven actually agrees to meet his parents at the circus so they can meet his new girl, which seems out of character for him.

*When Josh finds out the truth, he realizes that's why he never saw her at SVH. Really Josh, really? You didn't think about maybe, possibly asking someone about the hot girl you're dating?

*Josh lies to his friends and says that she's 15 when she told him she was 14. He also thinks that 14 is too young to date, which makes it even worse that he doesn't figure out that she's younger.

The Baby-Sitters Club #126: The All-New Mallory Pike

2013-04-22T03:51:00.000-04:00

Aw, how sad, Mallory is getting the hell out of Stoneybrook. She is about to head to Riverbend Hall, a boarding school for girls. She only has a few more days left in town, so she naturally attends a BSC meeting. Kristy refers to it as her last meeting, which makes her cry. The girls present her with a certificate that acknowledges her as an honorary member of the club. When it comes time to leave, Jessi and Claudia walk her home. It turns out that they planned her a surprise party. All of the BSC members, including Logan and Shannon, are waiting at the house, as are some of her charges.

The next day, she has breakfast with her family and tries to stop thinking that it's the last time she'll do it. Jessi comes over to say goodbye and help her carry her things to her car before she stays behind to watch the Pike kids with Mary Anne. Mallory naturally loves her new school from the first time that she sees it. She even makes a new friend and realizes that she feels more comfortable there.

The only downside is that her new roommate didn't make any room for her. She used up the entire closet, took over the entire shared dresser, and hung pictures all over all of the walls. Mallory thinks she can deal with it until she actually meets Alexis. Alexis gives her a list of room rules, which include study time every afternoon. Mallory kind of just ignores her because she made a new group of friends. Sarah is a super theatrical (and annoying actress) type, and Jen is a sweet and normal girl.

Alexis constantly oversteps her boundaries though. She sees Mallory writing in her diary, and she later comes home to find Alexis sitting on her bed and reading it. She points out that she didn't write anything interesting. Ooh, burn. She later comments on how Mal thought one of her teachers was cute while sitting in his class, and she makes a comment in class that she lifted right out of her journal. She also wears her clothes without asking and wears her favorite earrings, which were a gift from Jessi.

Instead of doing anything about it, Mallory whines to her new friends about Alexis. Sarah reveals that Alexis had problems with two other roommates this year alone. One girl wound up leaving school due to those problems and the death of a loved one, while her other roommate, Jen, moved into a single room. Jen tells her that she knows all about her silly rules, which is part of why she left.

Mal finally talks to her prefect, who basically suggests that they just work things out. She offers a few suggestions, but she really just wants them to talk. Mallory tries, and Alexis acts like she's the wronged party. She clears off the dresser and offers her more space, and then says that Mallory still won't be happy. The BSC sends her a care package with cookies and pictures they took at a recent meeting. She comes home one day to find that Alexis ate all of the cookies and completely destroyed her pictures.

She immediately goes to the prefect and shows her their room. Alexis tries to apologize, but the woman decides that they finally need to sit down and discuss the issue. The meeting does nothing because Alexis keeps saying that it's all Mal's fault. According to her, Mallory never gave her a chance and sought out other friends as soon as she got there. She storms out of the meeting and starts trashing the room.

Sarah sees it happen and runs for Pam (the prefect). Jen is one of the girls helping her clean up, and Pam later suggests that they give Alexis the single room and move Jen into their room. Mallory says she couldn't ask someone to do that, and Pam says that she'll do it. A few hours later, Jen appears at her door and calls her roomie. Mallory later talks about how nice it is to share a room with a true friend and how well they get along.

The B-plot starts as soon as Mallory leaves. Vanessa thinks that she can keep their room, but the triplets think they deserve it. All hell breaks loose anytime someone sits there because the kids constantly fight over the room. Byron doesn't really seem to care, but Nicky is so upset that he chains himself to his bed. When they realize that Vanessa is lonely and keeps sneaking into Claire and Margo's room, they finally reach a compromise. The three girls (and Mallory's bed) will move into the boys' big room, Nickey and Byron will love into Margo and Claire's old room, and Adam and Jordan get Mallory's old room.

*All of the school buildings are named after famous women, which is a cute idea.

*Mallory takes a French class, and she mentions that she's completely lost and doesn't understand it because everyone speaks French. Um, wouldn't they test her for something like that? I'm assuming that the school would offer a beginner level class for someone who isn't ready for an advanced class like that.

*The Pikes actually call Mallory to ask if it's okay to move her bed, which is sweet given that she won't really be home much.

*The school knew that Mallory previously lived with someone, which is why they put her with Alexis. They figured if anyone could handle her, it was Mallory.

*The problem with this book is that nothing changes. The spaz girl nickname stuck with her because she never stood up for herself. In this book, she's still willing to just sit back and take whatever Alexis throws at her.

*I'm not sure why it took the school so long to give Alexis her own room. She already had problems with two girls, so your best solution is to keep throwing her into a room with another girl?

*I read one of the older books a few weeks ago that was updated with Ann's notes in the back. She says that they contemplated sending Mallory to boarding school before, but they decided that fans of the series would miss her too much.

*Were her problems at SMS really that bad? There are several later books that I can think of where it was a Mallory story and there was no mention of her getting teased. Plus, I think that showing kids how to stand up for themselves and fight back against teasing/bullying might be a better option than showing kids running away to another school.

*Mallory naturally gets to take fun classes that she could never take at SMS like creative writing classes. Oh wait, she totally took that class at SMS.

*Hey Mallory, I know that Riverbend is oh so cool, but you do still need to take gym. It's one of those classes that you can't ever really escape. Then again, when she mentions her schedule, there is absolutely no mention of a gym or physical education class.

*All of the girls have to do volunteer work as a service requirement. Mallory naturally works at the library, baby-sitting kids during story time. Of course she does.

*I love when people comment that boarding school was a better choice for Mallory because she wouldn't get teased as much. I don't care what school you go to, there are cliques everywhere! Given that Mallory apparently had no friends until she met Jessi and joined the BSC, I find it hard to believe that she could make friends so quickly at a new school.

*In fact, I think she would have even more problems at a school like this. Riverbend comes across as one of those rich schools where people with money spend their kids. Even her friend Smita mentions that her family moved around quite a bit. Mallory's family doesn't have the money to send her on fancy spring break trips, and she probably doesn't even have money to go to the movies on Friday night with the other girls.

*Her math class bakes corn muffins for the whole school as a teaching/learning exercise. What the hell are they learning? This sounds like something you would do in third grade, not sixth grade.

Sweet Valley High #88: Love Letters for Sale

2013-04-19T03:50:00.000-04:00

Jessica needs to make some fast cash. Not only did she put a CD player for the Jeep on layaway, but she also wants to redecorate her room and get Sam a killer gift for his birthday. Elizabeth wouldn't mind some extra cash either because she wants to get Todd a warm up jacket to thank him for all the nice stuff he does for her. After hearing Lila and Amy whine about writing some letters, she comes up with a new business idea.

Jess asks Liz to help her write letters as a new business plan. Jessica will do all of the leg work, and Liz will write the actual letters. They hang fliers all over town, and Steven even takes some back to college. The way it works is that someone sends them the information and $5. They write the letter and send it back to the person so they can send it along to whoever needs it.

The first few letters are easy. Someone wants them to write a letter to their neighbor because the woman stole her cat, and someone else wants a birthday letter to his father because they're having some problems after his parents' divorce. Then they start getting some rougher letters. Some woman wants them to tell her husband she left town and is never coming back, stuff like that.

While all of this is going on, Shelly Novack pops up to reveal that she's having problems with her boyfriend Jim. He's so busy working on the paper and the yearbook that he never has time for her. Todd starts showing up to all the basketball games to support the girls' team, and he usually ends up talking to Shelly. She wonders if she has feelings for him, and asks the twins' business to write a letter for her.

Since she uses their real names, Jessica immediately flips out. She calls Steven for advice and he suggests that she tell Liz the truth. Instead, she rewrites the letters to take out all of the identifying information and gives that letter to Liz. Liz writes a long and romantic letter that makes Jessica wince, and she ends the letter by asking the guy out on a date.

Naturally, Todd starts feeling lonely and wondering why Liz never comes around anymore. She doesn't want him to know about the business because she wants the jacket to be a surprise, so she just keeps telling him that she's swamped with work. She doesn't do a good job of it either. She'll make plans with him and cancel an hour beforehand, or she'll call him the night before and say she doesn't have time for him.

He plans an elaborate date at home, and she once again cancels at the last minute. Shelly stops by and he invites her to join him for a movie. They have fun, and Shelly wonders if he really likes her. Todd gets her letter, and he wonders if maybe he and Liz are at a dead end. He writes to the company, asking them to write two letters: one to accept a date with Shelly and one to cool things down with Liz.

Jessica once again rewrites the letter and passes it along. Liz writes the letters, and Jessica thinks that she can grab them before the mail runs, but they literally run into the mailman and Liz hands them over. She then dresses up like Liz and tries to get the mailman to give her the letter back, which he refuses to do.

Liz gets the letter from Todd and absolutely flips out. She is so mad that she cries for days and doesn't even want to look at the jacket that just arrived in the mail. Todd and Shelly go on their date, but within the first five minutes, Shelly realizes that she misses Jim. They decide that they should just be friends and focus more on their own relationships.

Jessica explains to Todd what happened. Actually, Todd hangs out at the post office where they rented a box and kind of attacks her when she walks in LOL. She tries to talk to Liz but she doesn't want to hear it. Todd finally writes to the company again, and she agrees to give the letter to her sister. Liz is so happy that he still loves her that she writes him the letter he wants and delivers it with his new jacket.

Todd tells her that he loves her and that he loves the jacket. He makes her wear it and says that he won't wear it until he can buy her a matching one. A few weeks later, they walk around school in their matching jackets and everyone oohs and ahs about how they started a new trend. Oh, and Shelly talks to Jim and they write out a list of activities that they can try together so they can start spending more time together as a couple.

*This is all supposed to be anonymous, so how the heck do they hang dozens of fliers without anyone seeing them?

*Todd gets annoyed because Liz says that she's busy having plans with Jess, but then Jess goes to a concert with Sam. She acts all indigent that Todd would dare to doubt her, but she doesn't even bother to explain to him what happened. I guess he should just read her mind.

*How early does the mail run in Sweet Valley? The mailman stops by the house before the twins leave for school, which has to be at least 8 am if not earlier. On a good day, our mail gets here by 11, and I've never lived anywhere where my mail came before 9 am.

*When Liz writes the letter for Todd to send her, she thinks it's ridiculous that anyone would ignore such a great guy. Liz, I would like you to meet pot, pot, Liz.

*There's a throwback to the Soap Star book. Jessica and Sam go to a Bill something concert, the guy she met while working on the show. Apparently, she made such an impression after ONE meeting that he gives her free backstage passes.

*Jessica redecorate the Hershey Bar in this one, deciding to use a silver and purple color scheme.

*Liz really is a total bitch in this book. She keeps saying that Todd has no reason to doubt her because she obviously doesn't remember cheating on him so many times.

*I would say that this book is dated because people actually pay the twins to write their letters, but I actually worked for a company that wrote emails for people.

*Todd buys a deli meat and cheese platter, sparkling apple cider, and a cheesecake for their movie date. Not only did I never date this type of guy in high school but I never did as an adult either.

*Despite advertising everywhere, the only two SVH people who respond are Shelly and Todd. Would no one else really need them?

*Liz worries that they might need to hire on some new people or raise their prices, which is funny because they stop their new business after this book.

*Liz keeps saying that Todd should understand her predicament, but she never explains it to him. Seriously, how many teen girls blow off their boyfriends for two weeks because of homework and writing for the school paper.

*The Oracle is ridiculous anyway. Jim's photos get ruined, so he has to do a rush job, take new photos, and immediately process them. They act like the paper would be ruined if they didn't have pictures of a basketball game.

Sweet Valley High #119: Jessica's Older Guy

2013-04-17T03:54:00.000-04:00

Jessica and Zach, the college junior she started dating at SVU, are out at a restaurant when she sees Magda come in with some Thetas. Since she knows that Magda wants to date Zach, she needs to come up with an excuse to get them out of there without anyone seeing. She pretends that she smells smoke and convinces him to climb out the window of the woman's restroom. Zach asks if she's interested in someone else, and she gets around the issue by saying that she isn't interested in anyone in college since Ken is in high school.

Jessica then discovers that Liz plans to take her GED and stay at Sweet Valley University. After some thought, Jessica agrees that she'll stay too. Liz calls home and tells Todd, who is heartbroken at the thought of a long-distance relationship. Jessica calls Ken and he seems equally upset, but mainly because he heard it from Todd long before she bothered to call.

Part of the reason why Elizabeth wants to stay is because she got an internship at the school newspaper, which goes out across the country. The editor in chief turns out to be one of those gold old boys who treats Elizabeth like a (gasp) actual intern! He has her get coffee, answer the phones, make copies, send faxes, and all that other stuff that interns do. She fully expects to get assignments and actually write for the school paper, but he wants her to act like an intern.

Elizabeth decides to do the responsible thing and bitch like a baby to her twin all the time. She goes back, I believe twice, and he treats her the same way every time. After he dares to ask her to send a fax and get him coffee in a 10-minute span, she flips her shit. She quits, accuses him of sexual harassment, and storms off, thinking about her next article on harassment in the workplace.

Magda turns really cold towards Jessica because she saw her with Zach. Jessica decides to throw Liz under the bus. She claims that she was with Billie and Steven that night, and that her twin is the manipulative, crazy, pyscho, boy-loving one. Magda immediately changes her tune and offers to help Jessica find a date for the upcoming formal.

Jessica decides that they can do a twin switch. Elizabeth refuses, but eventually decides to go along with her plan. They pick out a sweet rose colored dress for Jessica to wear so Magda will think that she's Liz. Liz gets stuck with some velvet halter dress so everyone will think that she's Jess.

While all of this is going on, the gang back in Sweet Valley decide to try a little reverse psychology on the twins. Enid acts like she'll be the smartest girl in school and asks if she can take over Liz's column in the paper, and Lila says that she'll now be the best dressed and best looking girl in school. Alice calls to congratulate them, but lets it slip that she's sad they will miss their prom, graduation, and living in a freshman dorm. Billie and Steven get in on it, treating them to a disgusting breakfast of tofu and other natural food, saying that they need to eat like this to compensate for pulling three or four all nighters every week.

The gang heads up on the same night as the formal. While everyone sets things up, Todd and Ken sneak into the frat house. Todd sees who he thinks is Liz dancing and looking happy with another guy and rushes off, while Ken sees Liz dressed as Jessica and realizes who the real Jessica is and rushes off. Magda, meanwhile, reveals to Liz that Zach is actually still in high school.

The guys make a huge scene before running away. Magda glides up to tell Jessica the truth and thank her for saving herself from going after a younger man. She also takes the time to tell Liz, who she thinks is Jess, that she should be nicer to her sister and Liz is welcome to pledge Theta house. Jessica and Zach explode on each other, and he reveals that he was taking a few classes at college and his brother thought it would be fun to pass him off as a college junior. They eventually laugh about it, and Jessica realizes that she misses Ken.

The twins go back to the apartment and find all of their friends waiting. They watch a massive slideshow and realize what they're up too. At the end, they both decide to go back to Sweet Valley High and wait for college. Liz and Todd make up because she actually didn't do anything wrong this time. Jessica chases Ken down, who is about to drive away. She apologizes, confesses that she wanted to try something different, and tells him that she loves him. He makes her promise to never cheat on him again, and they make up too.

*Out of curiosity, I looked up national college newspapers and didn't find a whole lot of information. Are there really college newspapers that go out across the country?

*What did Liz really expect that she would do? On big college papers, freshmen usually wind up making copies and doing basic research, if that. She thinks that because she has a small amount of experience, she should get to work as a writer right away.

*I would really love for Liz to write about the harassment that she suffered and then get bitch slapped by one of the other college journalists. Granted, he acted condescending at times, but he gave her the same assignments that interns do all of the time. Hell, it's basically the same thing she did at the Sweet Valley paper.

*Once again, an unrealistic date. Zach makes a picnic lunch of brie cheese, bread, grapes, and pasta salad, and they sit on the quad and listen to jazz music. If you did this at my college, people would have given you dirty looks for getting in their way.

*Multiple guys hit on Jessica while she's sitting on the quad, which skeeves me out. There's no way that she looks old enough to be in college, and it just seems creepy.

*The halter dress that Liz wears is so short that she has to keep smoothing it down over her UPPER THIGHS. Why would anyone let her out of the house in that dress? Plus, as a college graduate, I have to say that this is not appropriate for a college formal. At all.

*SVU is now two hours away from Sweet Valley. Yup, that totally makes sense.

*Zach is all shocked that Jessica never went to Atlantic City because he thinks she went to Princeton. Why? Given the grade she told him that she was in, she's still only 20 and I thought most casinos banned anyone under 21.

*They serve champagne at the formal, which whatever. However, Jessica and Liz are there and they both drink champagne. Does the frat and sorority really want to lose their charters?

*It's awfully convenient that Jessica never thought about Ken or missed him until five minutes before he showed up at the formal.

*Jessica and Liz talk about finding an apartment together when they start classes. I guess my school was different because you couldn't live off-campus unless you were a junior or older or you lived with family. Plus, I don't know a whole lot of schools that let freshman live off campus, and they would enter college as freshmen.

*It's also very clearly the middle of the semester, so I don't know what they were thinking. It's not like they could just drop out of high school, take the GED, and immediately start classes. They would at least have to wait until the summer session.

*Poor stupid Liz. She couldn't even cut it skipping one grade in middle school, but now she thinks that she's mature enough to handle college.

*I like that they tossed in some characters from SVU like Magda. There's also a few mentions of Tom Watts in his Wildman Watts days, playing quarterback for the team.

*Billie points out that Jessica can't try our for the cheerleading team at SVU until next year, and it upsets her. I find it hard to believe that it never crossed her mind.

*Liz goes to a coffeeshop with Ian, her new buddy, and some of his friends. It turns into one of those grand "debates" that rich college kids seem to have and they totally look down on her for not knowing what they are talking about. It's actually pretty funny because they come across as those kids who learn everything from books and have no practical knowledge. They ream her for talking about capitalism while suggesting that communism is better and hey, you get some freedom with communism. Sure.

*Reading through these books now, I wonder why we were supposed to empathize with Jessica so much. She tells Ken that she loves him and will never cheat on him. Guess what happens in the next book? Oh that's right, she falls in love with someone completely different.

Goosebumps Series 2000 #14: Jekyll and Heidi

2013-04-15T03:49:00.000-04:00

Heidi's parents died, and I actually feel sorry for her because she's pretty down at the start of the book. She had to move across the country to live with her Uncle Jekyll, and all she really remembers about him is that she once asked if he was Frankenstein because he has a fully stocked lab and works as a scientist.

After she gets off the train, she notices that her uncle isn't there to pick her up. She does meet a young man from town named Aaron. He tells her about a creature that keeps attacking the village, and he makes it clear that no one likes her family. When she asks for help getting there, he gives her some directions. He also makes it clear that he has no interest in walking her home or going anywhere near the house.

Heidi sets off and finds the house pretty fast. Her cousin Marianna rushes out and warns her to leave and get out. Before she can elaborate, the housekeeper comes out, welcomes her, and shows her to her room. Marianna keeps telling her to leave her uncle alone because he's a busy man and always working, but Heidi goes down to his lab anyway. He seems excited to see her, but like Marianna said, he's super busy.

Dinner time is always odd at the house. Marianna and her dad barely talk, and when they do, it almost seems like they talk in code. One night, Heidi hears screams coming from the village. When she looks outside, she runs into her uncle who says that he didn't hear anything. She goes into town the next day and finds the village ripped apart. She screams that it wasn't her uncle, and a reporter demands that she take them into the house. A group of locals grab her and throw her around, saying that her family is filled with creatures. Aaron manages to save her, telling the crowd that she's new and doesn't know anything.

At dinner, her uncle asks Marianna if she plans to go into town and she just shrugs. Heidi finds it odd because she hasn't yet seen her cousin leave the house. While wandering around later that night, she accidentally finds an old journal hidden in a secret area of the bookcase. It's filled with notes from someone who keeps changing into a creature. She thinks that it might be the journal of the original Hyde and gets pretty excited.

Heidi eventually starts questioning her uncle and wondering is he is the creature. She sneaks into his lab and sees him drink a bunch of potions and start changing before running out of the lab. He also locks her in her room one night, and she later catches him listening to her on the phone.

This all leads up to the creature attacking the town again. Heidi goes outside, and the creature turns and attacks her. Jekyll comes running up to help her. He grabs the creature and it slowly transforms into Marianna. He explains that she got bit by a weird fairy creature on vacation and she's changed every night since then. He keeps working on different potions to save her.

The villagers all attack and set fire to the house, but they make it into the lab. Jekyll has an escape route that will lead them away from the house and to safety. Heidi tells them to go along while she runs upstairs and finds the journal. She manages to grab it just in time for the villagers to grab her and drag her outside. Aaron saves the day again, and he manages to pull her away from the crowd.

Heidi goes to stay with Aaron's family until they can find some more of her family. She decides to tell him about the journal, and while flipping through it, he finds a page that says it's Marianna's journal. It turns out that she just used an old journal to record her feelings about becoming a creature. When Heidi gets to the last page, she swallows hard and blinks it shock. The last page reveals that Marianna watched her sleep one night and bit her on the shoulder.

*Yeah so that Marianna twist was not a real twist. Marianna is constantly sneaking around and dropping cryptic comments that show she's the creature early on.

*Aaron is such a random character. It's not like they hang out or anything. She meets him at the station, and then she doesn't see him again until he needs to save her. God forbid a girl be able to save herself.

*The first few pages actually are pretty sad! Heidi starts talking about how she cries every time she thinks about her parents, how she has really dark periods because of their deaths, etc.

*This book is so outdated even for the late 90s. The townspeople hated Jekyll as soon as he moved there because they knew he was trouble just based on his name.

*The image of people driving cars up the hill to torch an old house made me giggle.

Goosebumps #21: Go Eat Worms!

2013-04-12T03:49:00.000-04:00

Todd absolutely loves worms. After every storm, he heads outside with his friend Danny to his prime digging spot and digs up dozens of worms. His sister Regina and her friend Beth hate it because he keeps showing them the worms and acting like your normal pesky little brother. They go outside to dig up some more worms, and they notice the ground shaking. Thinking that it's an earthquake, they run inside screaming but no one else felt anything.

He later sees this rich kid Patrick in the same spot. Regina explains that Patrick wants to do a science project on worms, which pisses off Todd. The big science fair is coming up, and the winner gets a new computer. He decides to sneak over to Patrick's house to see his project. Regina gives him the address, but it winds up just being a prank, and they end up at an abandoned house.

Danny thinks that they should both work on the worm project, and when Todd refuses, Danny blows up a bunch of balloons and creates a solar system. Todd keeps trying to get info out of Patrick, and when he refuses, he heads back to the digging spot. They experience another tremor that no one else feels, and they decide to just ignore it.

The day of the science fair arrives, and Todd shows up with his worm house that he made. Patrick then walks up with a super big worm skyscraper. Regina and Beth create a paper mache bird, and Todd sneaks off to see it. When the judges open its mouth, they find a bunch of live worms inside. He starts laughing and runs back to his spot. The judges completely ignore his project, but ooh and ah over Patrick's project. In the end, Danny actually wins the science fair.

A few days later, Todd starts cutting up some worms, and Regina points out that it looks like the worms are watching him. He ignores her, but then he notices that they really do seem to be watching him. When he puts on his hat, he finds worms inside, and he finds another crawling on his face when he wakes up. The worms crawl into his sandwich and he loses his mind.

His mom gets so tired of hearing about the worms that she makes him move them into the basement, but that doesn't stop the weird activity. He sneaks downstairs to the basement to watch and see what happens, and his dad ends up interrupting him. He heard noises from the basement and came down to check it out, thinking it was a burglar.

Todd keeps sneaking around and hears Regina, Patrick, and Beth gossiping about him. It turns out that they created a funny comic strip with him as a worm. After a few more days, he discovers that his sister created all of the pranks with the worms to get back at him. He and Danny dig up a bunch of new worms, and Todd says that he has a surefire way to get back at her.

The ground starts shaking and a big ass worm comes up through the hole in the ground. It grabs Todd and starts dragging him down, and when Danny tries to help, he starts going down too. Regina and Beth come by with their fake bird, and the shadow of the bird causes the worm to take off running. Todd is so scarred that he decides on a new hobby: mounting butterflies. While working in his room, he sees a shadow on his wall. When he looks up, he sees a giant butterfly coming at him and holding an enormous silver pin.

*Danny's project shouldn't even place, let alone win. He literally blows up balloons and sticks them to posterboard with the names underneath, and a few of the balloons pop before judging.

*What exactly is oaktag? A lot of these books refer to oaktag as what students use for presentations, but we always just used posterboard.

*I don't get the big hoopla over the worms in the bird's mouth. The judges are so disgusted that they walk away after lecturing the girls, but it kind of makes sense.

*Todd actually eats half of a worm that his sister stuck in his peanut butter sandwich. He doesn't get sick or throw up, which seems like the normal reaction, but he doesn't eat anymore either.

*The whole giant worm thing was kind of anticlimactic. Considering the number of times they felt the ground shake, it was a cop out to have the giant worm only cover two pages.

Goosebumps HorrorLand #1: Revenge of the Living Dummy

2013-04-08T03:48:00.000-04:00

Britney is less than thrilled that her cousin Ethan is coming to live with her family for a few months, probably because he is the most annoying person in the world. He shows up, carrying a wooden dummy with him, and her mom warns her to be nice to him. She assumes that he created an imaginary friend to help him deal with his parents' divorce, but we all know where this is going.

When she goes to hang out with her friend Molly, he mom makes her take Ethan with her. Molly's dad wants to create the Museum of Weird, which totally sounds like a place I would visit. He travels all around the world, looking for unique items, which he stores in the attic. He keeps saying that the dummy, which Ethan calls Mr. Badboy, looks familiar but he can't place it. He really wants to show them his newest acquisition: a wood doll called the Mind Stealer because it steals minds, natch.

Britney pretty much hates her cousin because she has to give up her room for him. When she takes down an autographed poster of her favorite band, he warns her that she might not want to do that since is Badboy's favorite band. She tries to ignore him, but he keeps making the dummy do stupid things. The dummy starts telling rude jokes at the dinner table, and she thinks it's hysterical.

She goes upstairs to talk to her cousin, and she sees the dummy look up and talk to her. She completely flips out and tries to tell her parents, but they think she's just tired. A few hours later, someone pushes her down the stairs and when she looks up, she sees Ethan and the dummy at the top of the stairs. She tries talking to her parents again and they still don't believe her.

Molly then calls her, freaking out about the Mind Stealer doll. Some random guy, who her dad hired to research the doll, discovered that it actually works. Since the only way to stop it is to bury it in a cemetery, she needs Britney's help. Brit gets distracted before she can follow through with the plans, though they do manage to dig a big ass hole. They later toss the doll in the hole and hope for the best.

Their school requires everyone to do volunteer work on the weekend, and Brit's parents make her take Ethan with her to the retirement home where she volunteers. She gives a painting lesson that everyone loves, and then Ethan goes on. The dummy goes crazy, making a bunch of rude jokes and being really mean to the residents. The dummy then throws a can of red paint on one woman, and they both get thrown out. She also discovers her poster ripped to shreds, and once again, her parents don't want to hear it.

Britney decides that she can't handle it anymore and calls Molly for help. She digs through the files that her dad keeps and finds a folder about dummies. Brit manages to find the magic words that will put the dummy to sleep. They sneak into his room, and Brit says the magic words. Molly gets closer to the dummy and discovers a remote control in its pocket. It turns out that Ethan programmed the dummy to say and do a bunch of things and that it was never really alive.

Later that night, Mr. Badboy appears in her bedroom and starts talking to her. He thanks her for saying the magic words that brought him to life, tells her that his name is Slappy, and then calls her his slave. After a few days of Slappy bossing her around, she snaps and drags him outside. She starts to throw him into the hole, but her parents interrupt her and lecture her about taking her poor cousin's imaginary friend. Brit apologizes, but then grabs the dummy and tosses it into the hole. As soon as it hits the Mind Stealer, there's a flash of light and the dummy goes limp. As she walks away from the hole feeling better, she hears Slappy talking to her from inside the other doll.

Part 2:

Part 2 takes place in HorrorLand. Britney gets a letter in the mail, saying that she won an all expenses paid vacation to HorrorLand for her and that she should bring her friend Molly. A weird looking man greets them and says that he is a Horror, one of the workers at the park. He promptly takes a flamethrower to their luggage and burns it to a crisp, though Brit believes it's just part of the act.

He herds them into a crazy looking taxi and takes them on a wild ride. At the end, he screams that they're about to hit something and dives out of the front seat, but the taxi really runs on a track and he's a paid actor. They wander through the park and come across another Horror, who warns them to get out and then tells them to find the other park before running away.

They head to the Scare Inn, the hotel at the park and check in. Brit’s parents wind up on the second floor and the girls get a room on the 13^th floor. They find the closet filled with clothing in their size and a bunch of free chocolate bars in the room. Brit wants to check on her parents though, but they find the room empty. The front desk tells them that they checked out early, so they run back to check out the room.

All they find is her dad's new digital camera, and when she turns it on, she finds that the last picture he took shows Slappy sitting in that very room with a smile on his face.

*Remember when I posted about how Stine seems to hate parents? Yeah, well this one is one of the worst. Molly's dad literally flies off on the spur of the moment to all these random countries, and he leaves her all alone. She does have a housekeeper, but the book makes it seem like the woman doesn't live there.

*Britney's parents are pretty bad too. When she starts laughing at the dummy's jokes, her parents blame her and say she made a disturbance at the table.

*After they come home from the retirement home, her parents ground her. Their reasoning is that she probably knew what Ethan would do and she should have stopped him. Then, they reward Ethan by letting him use her ticket to a hockey game.

*It's so weird to see modern references in these books. Their hotel room has a plasma TV and someone mentions watching "Dancing with the Stars."

*I don't like the two-stories-in-one feature of the HorrorLand books. The second story is around 20 pages, and it ends on a cliffhanger. If you want to read the full story, you have to buy the entire series. I manage to pick these up for $1 or less at thrift stores and flea markets, but I definitely wouldn't have been happy paying $4 per book when they first came out.

The Baby-Sitters Club #72: Dawn and the We Love Kids Club

2013-04-05T03:47:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe that I haven't recapped this one yet because I've had it forever!

So, Dawn is living in California on her "break." She loves it because she gets to play on the beach, her school doesn't have that annoying alarm, and her friends are all super laid back. They meet up at the end of the school day and decide to hold a meeting the next day before heading off to sit for Stephie.

During a meeting of the We Love Kids Club, Sunny gets a phone call that she thinks is a prank. It's a woman named Rhonda Leib, who wants to do a profile on the club for the newspaper. Dawn calls back and schedules an appointment, and they all freak out. It turns out that because there is absolutely no news left in the world, she's going a special on kids who run their own businesses.

The articles comes out and it is such a hit that the news calls Sunny to ask about doing a special feature on their club. They spend hours with the reporter before he heads off with his crew. The feature ends up running for around four minutes, and everyone loves them. Carol even gives Dawn a director's chair with her name on the back and a pair of new sunglasses.

Things almost instantly go bad for the club. Some parents call more than one girl and double-book for sitting jobs, while the girls wind up double booking themselves. Dawn has to sit for both Stephie and Eric and Ryan. Sunny has some problems too, mainly because her calender is out of date and she messed up some jobs.

Dawn notices that Stephie has some problems adjusting. She keeps talking about her mother, and she mentions that she used to look at Joann (her sitter) as her mother but she doesn't anymore. She also draws pictures of her "new" mom and carries around her mom's old school picture. While at Eric and Ryan's house, she clings to Dawn and wants nothing to do with the boys. She later gets upset because Dawn is supposed to be her almost sister and a sister wouldn't forget about a sitting job. She also gets upset because the boys' mom brings them stuff like shoelaces and gum, and she doesn't have anyone who does that.

Dawn decides to send a copy of the news and the paper to her friends back in Stoneybrook, which sets off the B-plot. Kristy can't figure out why no one wanted to highlight the BSC. She suggests making a video, and Jessi wants to do a spoof one with her dad. When no one seems excited, she decides to go forward on her own.

Kristy contacts a few newspapers, which laugh her off the phone (just the way any real newspaper would). She also calls a few television stations, and they tell her that she needs a clip or reel. She ends up sending them the video of the We Love Kids Club with a note about the BSC, but she doesn't rewind the tape. The station manager sees a commercial and sends her back a list of their advertising rates.

While all of this is going on, Dawn is being a mega bitch about Carol. She thinks Carol is incredibly immature, and she hates smelling her dad's chimichungas cooking because it means she's coming over for dinner. When her dad and Carol announce their engagement, Dawn runs into her bedroom and slams the door shut. She later apologizes and eats dinner with them, but she decides that her dad doesn't really love her.

The next day, she steals his credit card information and books a flight back to Connecticut. She uses all of her sitting money to pay for a taxi and flies "home." Her mom meets her at the airport because her dad called. She makes Dawn stay in the house and books her a flight back to California the next day, pointing out that she made the decision to move out there for six months and her time isn't up yet. She isn't even allowed to contact anyone in the BSC and only gets to spend a few hours with Mary Ann.

Her dad is definitely not happy, but he does agree to forgive her, and she gets stuck paying for both plane tickets. Jeff tells her that their dad and Carol had a huge fight, which led to Carol throwing her engagement ring. Dawn gets a little excited, though she does sit down and have a long talk with her later.

Dawn sits the We Love Kids Club down and forces them to make some rules. They agree on set meeting times, using a record book, and being better members. She goes home and notices that Carol came over again. They start fighting, and Carol says that she's always at the bottom of his list, while he says that she will claw her way to the top of any list. The fighting gets muffled, and Carol comes out while Dawn and Jeff are making dinner. She tells them goodbye, and Dawn says that they'll see her the next day. Their dad then comes out and lets them know that they broke up for good. Dawn apologizes and kind of blames herself, but he tells her not to worry because it just brought up issues they needed to handle.

*Dawn and her "junk food" really annoys me. She talks here about eating vegetable chips because they are so much better for you, but in the 1990s, they really weren't. I bet her chips had the same fat and calories as ordinary potato chips.

*I really wonder if any of the ghostwriters actually worked in television before. I'm pretty sure that the news wouldn't spend 4+ hours filming a bunch of teen girls so they could do a short broadcast on them.

*Dawn says that they have set meeting times, but I guess it doesn't stick. In the wedding book, they still meet whenever they feel like it.

*Carol is not a smart woman. A man who makes you feel like you rank behind his kids, ex-wife, and anyone else who comes along is not someone you should marry or have kids with.

*Why does Dawn hate Carol so much? She says that it's because Carol acts too immature, but she seems like a normal woman. Maybe Dawn just has daddy issues.

*There's no resolution with Stephie. She writes a story that basically ends with a woman dying and becoming a flower named Dawn. Dawn doesn't even wonder if she should talk to Stephie's dad about it.

*Kristy is such a little bitch in this book. I can completely see her point and I would probably be upset too, but I wouldn't go crazy like she does.

*Dawn gets annoyed because Carol eats Thai food with a fork instead of a chopstick like they do. BUT, then she mentions that they learned to use chopsticks as a family, which comes across as super bitchy. Does she get all annoyed when Mary Ann and Richard use forks?

*People who read the paper start calling them right away to schedule sitters. People in my area tend to just gloss over the local features section without really paying attention.

*Apparently, their local news station broadcasts in a number of areas because one parent who calls lives two hours away. If the station is that big, why would they waste so much time on this silly little club?

The Baby-Sitters Club #129: Kristy at Bat

2013-04-03T03:53:00.000-04:00

Aw, this book kind of makes me sad because it's the newest BSC book that I have left to recap, except for maybe one or two of the FF books.

Watson signed him and Kristy up for Dream Camp, a baseball camp hosted by Bill Bain, who is an old school player that he just loves. Kristy is pretty excited because it's spring and she can now play baseball all of the time. Her coach holds try-outs for the new team, and Kristy thinks that she has it in the bag. She shows up to practice, doesn't really make an effort, and acts condescending to those around her.

When the list comes out, she finds that she's now on the junior varsity team. The coach pulls her into her office and explains to her that she didn't show herself well on the field. She acted like a junior varsity player, and that's where she ended up. She says it wasn't fair to the other girls who did make an effort. She mopes around the house and worries about going to camp because she's only a second string player. Sigh.

All Watson wants to do is celebrate going to camp, but Kristy keeps pouting and feeling mopey. She meets this girl Vicky on the first day, who admits that she doesn't really love baseball and only came because her dad wanted her there. Bain makes one appearance before disappearing again. They end up on his team with a former pro player and a former woman's player named Gloria.

Kristy takes over a little bit because Matt, their other coach, doesn't seem to care. She also gives coaching tips to some of the other players, all while moping about her own skills. Bain never comes to any of their practices, but he does show up at dinner. Watson talks to him, and Bain completely ignores him before telling him that he doesn't like to be disrupted during meals. Gloria feels bad, but not as bad as Watson. He suddenly doesn't find baseball that interesting anymore and doesn't make much of an effort.

Bain finally does come to a practice session, and he proceeds to rip apart the other coaches. Kristy goes off on him, reminding him that people came here because of him and that he's basically a horrible person. He turns red in the face and storms off, while everyone else bows down to the great and powerful Kristy. He comes to dinner that night, apologizes for his actions, and promises to do better.

This all leads up to one big game at the end of camp. Kristy hits a home run (of course), and Watson makes it across home plate too, where Bain gives him a high five. Vicky asks Kristy for help talking to her dad. She tells him that she doesn't want to play baseball anymore and that he doesn't need to brag about all of her accomplishments and he agrees.

Bain and Watson chat at dinner that night, and he gives Watson a photo of him and Joe DiMaggio, which the player signed. He signs it and tells him that Kristy is a good player. They give out a bunch of awards, and since this is a BSC book, a member has to get one. They give Kristy a brand new award for Best Coach for all of the help that she gave them. She finally admits to Gloria that she isn't on the varsity team, and the woman basically tells her that it doesn't matter. Kristy also realizes that it's okay to think about her real dad when she thinks about baseball because now she will think about Watson too.

David Michael suddenly has an interest in collecting baseball cards. A bunch of other kids do too, and they hold trade meetings at school on the playground. One of the kids, Barry, just wants the best cards so he keeps doing one-sided trades. David Michael gets a new fancy kit to organize his cards and keep track of them.

Barry suggests that they make a trade: 2 of his cards for one of David Micheal’s cards. He thinks it was a good deal until he gets home and finds that his card was way more valuable. He won't shut the hell up about it, so Abby comes up with a plan. She takes a shoebox of her own cards to the playground and shows them a rare card her dad gave her. Barry suggests and a trade and thinks she won't because the card is worth a lot of money. She explains that it means a lot to her because her dad gave it to her and he was his favorite players. All of the other kids suddenly decide that they want to trade for their favorite players and not because of value.

*How does the whole softball thing work? Is that for this year's team or for next year's team? Kristy already made the team for this year, but this is probably just another one of those crazy errors that you have when you are stuck in the same school year for decades.

*Abby keeps trying to cheer her up, so Kristy asks what she would do if she landed on the junior varsity team. Abby gets all shocked and stops talking. Really, this thought never crossed your mind?

*How big is this freaking school? It never really seemed that big to me, but it apparently has varsity and junior varsity soccer and softball teams for the girls alone. We didn't even have second string teams for most sports in my high school.

*This might sound a little mean, but could Gloria really coach? This book came out in the late 90s and she played during WWII. Maybe it's because my grandparents were less active, but this woman is out on the field, throwing and hitting all day long without any problems.

*Kristy is impressed because of their hotel room and the meals they get. Does she really have no idea how much money Watson paid for something like this?

*If Kristy really is a mediocre player, how could she hit a home run off a pitch thrown by an adult with probably way more experience?

*The BSC members act like it's such a huge and disappointing thing that some of the kids keep track of the value of their cards. Isn't the that the point of collecting? Most kids I knew who collected baseball cards always kept track of what they had and what the cards were worth.

*The whole B-plot seems like something they should have left alone anyway. Let the kids figure it out for themselves! David Michael would probably remember that trade forever and never made a bad one again. Now, who knows what cards he might give away.

*The food at Dream Camp is kind of insane though. Stake, grilled salmon, chocolate cake with raspberry sauce...

*Kristy orders chicken cordon bleu because she doesn't know what it is. I call bull shit! I'm almost sure that they had this on one of the flights to California, and I think they served it in the cafeteria too.

*They get a video that shows the highlights of their time at camp. Naturally, multiple people tell Kristy that they wish it included her telling off Bain.

*I know that the Kristy/Bain thing was important to the plot, but I didn't like it. Watson gives her a short lecture and then pretty much forgets about it. Even if an adult was wrong, my parents would have flipped out if I did this.

Sweet Valley Kids #2: Runaway Hamster

2013-04-01T03:53:00.000-04:00

The twins' class has a pet hamster Tinkerbell, and the teacher gives everyone the chance to take her home for the weekend. Jessica thinks the hamster looks like a rat and has no desire to get anywhere close to her, while Elizabeth thinks that she's adorable and can't wait for her turn. The teacher pulls Elizabeth's name out of a hat, and since she gets to take her home for a longer vacation, the teacher decides that Jessica should help.

Jessica really, really hates this hamster, so naturally Alice decides that they should share responsibilities all week long. This basically means that she keeps asking Jessica is she feed the hamster or whatever. Amy comes over to play with Tinkerbell and even Lila comes by for a visit, but Jessica still wants nothing to do with the hamster.

When it's finally her turn, she gives it some water and food, and then leaves to talk to Steven. He shows her a mousetrap that he made from an old shoebox and explains that he wants to use Tinkerbell as a test subject. She refuses and rushes back to their room just in time to find Elizabeth freaking out because the hamster is missing.

They search all over the house without any luck, and Jessica finally decides that they need to buy a replacement hamster. Elizabeth thinks it's like lying, but she agrees and they go to Alice. Alice agrees to buy them a new hamster as long as they tell the teacher the truth.

No one seems to notice the difference until Jessica bursts into tears and tells everyone what happened. Todd claims that she must have lost her because Elizabeth knows how to take care of animals, while Ellen screams when Charlie wonders if his cat ate Tinkerbell. They decide to name the new hamster Thumbelina and everyone kind of forgets what happened.

The twins are sharing a snack after school when Ned shows up. He was gone for like a week on business and missed everything. He finds a box of chewed crackers in the cabinet, and they realize that she's still alive. After a short search, Steven finds her in his mousetrap. Jessica finally holds the hamster and decides that she likes her after all, and the class gets two pet hamsters.

*Apparently, the twins have matching name bracelets, which is the only way that people can tell them apart when they dress alike.

*The ghostwriter did some research on this one. Not only does Elizabeth have her money neatly organized, but Jessica has a change purse with some jewelry inside and no money.

*Amy and Elizabeth put Tinkerbell in the bathtub with a bunch of doll furniture, which really doesn't sound that much fun to me. Jessica does however scream and claim that she can never play with that stuff again.

*The teacher actually gets a little misty eyed in front of the class when she learns they lost the hamster. Maybe it's the cynic in me, but that doesn't really seem professional.

*I don't agree with schools that make students do this. I think it should be a voluntary process, and if you don't want to take the hamster home, you don't have to. They sent out letters to the parents and let them decide if they wanted it or not.

*I actually did get stuck taking our class hamster home one weekend. Everyone who did it kept talking about how much fun it was, but even in like fourth grade, I thought it was lame. I remember putting it in the ball and letting it run around the floor, but it spent most of its weekend in the cage. We always had dogs when I was growing up, so playing with them was a lot more fun LOL.

The Baby-Sitters Club #85: Claudia Kishi, Live from WSTO!

2013-04-01T03:47:00.000-04:00

Claudia is sad because her life sucks. Despite being an amazing artist who can somehow create art out of absolutely anything, she suddenly thinks that she needs another hobby. She's also sad because she doesn't have a boyfriend and because she and Stacey are no longer friends. This leads to her making a list of hobbies that she wants to try, but she fails at each one.

Luckily though, the local radio station WSTO is hosting a contest for younger teens, and the winner gets their own radio show. She writes this long ass essay and submits it, but she learns that they will announce the winner live on the air. During a BSC meeting, she makes them listen to the radio, and she naturally gets chosen for the job.

Charlie drives her there the next day, and Kristy goes inside with her. Kristy naturally takes charge, which makes everyone think that she's the contest winner, but Claudia gets things straightened out. She learns that her "assistant" (which is actually the second place finisher) is Ashley Wyeth. Apparently, she decided that even devoted artists need to take time out of their schedules for some fun.

The two girls need to come up with a show title and format fast because their first episode is quickly approaching. Ashley keeps rolling her eyes and whining whenever Claudia makes a suggestion, or just sitting back and saying that she's the boss in a way that makes it clear if the show fails, it's all her fault. The station decides to host auditions, and the girls have to sit through a bunch of other kids playing instruments, singing, and doing other stuff to pick who lands on the show. They fight some more because they both like different people.

It doesn't help that Kristy naturally assumes she will land a spot on the show because of their friendship. She works out a play with the Barrett-DeWitt family first, but the audition is terrible and Claudia has to turn her down. She then "borrows" one of Mallory's stories and auditions with the Pike kids, but things go even worse. She finally comes up with a book trivia game with the Arnold twins that is a big hit.

During one show, a kid named George calls in and asks for advice because his parents are getting divorced. Claudia suggests that he call a therapist and gives him the number of Mary Anne's doctor. They also learn from an engineer that the station might shut down. It lost one of its biggest sponsors, and they used their show to fill in the slot of a show they can no longer afford.

Claudia suggests that they write some editorials and let people know about the situation, but the station manager asked his employees to keep everything a big secret. One of their shows runs short and she has to talk for a few minutes. She ends up mentioning Stacey in a roundabout way, which leads to Stacey extending an olive branch.

On their last show, they host another call-in and answer questions from other kids. An adult woman calls in and says that she's the mother of George and that she wants to thank them for helping. She plans to make a sizable donation that might save the day. After the show ends, they discover that she made a big enough donation that it will keep the station afloat for at least six months.

*One of her potential hobbies is cooking. She makes an omelet in the microwave, it takes gross, so she takes it off her list. Yes, because most chefs cook eggs in the microwave.

*She also wants to play the tuba until she thinks about lugging it home, and she adds tap dancing to her list. Jessi gives her a lesson and she completely sucks, but somehow Dawn and Shannon are great dancers.

*The essay thing really bothers me! They only have like four days to turn it in before the announcement comes. Does that mean the kids have to drop it off at the station or hope that the mail delivers it in time? If they drop it off, how does Claudia get it there? Charlie and her dad have to drive her there later because it's so far away.

*They meet with people for 90 minutes on day and over two hours another day to host auditions and every slot is filled. Would parents really get that excited over their kids maybe appearing on a local radio show for kids?

*Running a teen show would not save the station any money. They still need engineers and other workers to run the show, so they could just run music or a cheap talk show for the same price. Plus, if the sponsor was so big, why did they only have to cut a show that

only ran twice a week?

*Since famous people really have no lives, they manage to get a children's book author on the show. He reads from his newest book and answers some questions from fans. Oh, and Ashley only called him on Friday, and he responded the next day.

*Mallory is so upset at what Kristy does to her character that she literally has to leave the room. Nice way to be a friend there Kristy.

*Claudia wears a tuxedo that she found in a thrift store, and she took the shoulder pads out so it would look slouchy. I'm not really sure how that would work....She also pairs it with a red cummerbund, socks with silver sequins, and red tennis shoes. Ashley asks her if she's going to describe her outfit on the air, and I want to scream.

*Claudia mentions that when she worked on the personals column, she did a lot of writing. Is that really true? Sure she had to move things around, but it's not like she was actually writing all of the ads.

*Dawn has an annoying scene where she whines about Kristy eating meat and then launches into stories about the photos that she saw of meat processing plants. If it bothers you so much, walk away you dumb bitch! No one forced you to sit with meat eaters.

*At one point, Claudia wears overalls that she made from sewing together two different pairs. When Janine sees her, she says its Frankenstein's jumpsuit, but Claudia thinks it's just her deconstruction look. She does, however, change clothes before a sitting job.

*I really don't get the WTSO thing. It's clearly a station aimed at adults, given that whenever someone listens to it, they're playing Elvis, The Beatles, or some other oldies group (BTW, I am a huge Elvis fan). It doesn't really seem like the kind of station that kids would listen to, and even Charlie complains about the music.

*Claudia points out that Ashley dresses normal now but kept her six earrings because it's not like she could get rid of them. Um, yes she could. If you take them out, your holes will eventually grow close. Take it from someone with experience. I had two piercings in each ear for a few years, took my top ones out, and they grew closed until I had them done again.

*Since it's an advice show, someone naturally calls in with a question about baby sitting. She wants to know how to calm a fussy baby, and Claudia gives her like a dozen tips on air. Who cares?

The Baby-Sitters Club #69: Get Well Soon, Mallory!

2013-03-28T05:04:00.000-04:00

Mallory is sick and she has been for a few books, but she wants to stay on top of things. The Pikes announce that their cousins in New York got bleachers for the Thanksgiving parade, and everyone wants to go. Mrs. Pike agrees that if they can find a hotel and a restaurant with enough space, they can go. Mallory feels pretty good about it, but she still has to cancel plans with Jessi and she sleeps through Halloween.

When she wakes up sick again with swollen glands, her mom makes her go to the doctor. The doctor thinks it's either strep or mono, and she sends her home with antibiotics. A few days later, the tests come back and she has mono. They tell her that she might feel better in one week or it might take several months. She hopes that she can recover pretty fast. In the meantime though, she asks the BSC to demote her until she can take jobs again, and they agree to make her an honorary member.

In the middle of all this, the BSC decides to do a special project with the retirement home. Kristy originally thought about doing something for the homeless, but old people are less icky. While sitting for Charlotte and telling her about it, she tells Stacey that they should make cornucopias. Stacey thinks that baskets are easier and they suddenly have a plan in mind.

Since they need to raise money, they ask the kids to think of some fundraising ideas. They want to make baskets with fruit, a book, and some type of present for fifty-five people. The BSC originally thinks about doing a skit for the residents, but then they decide to host a little mini-carnival with a cakewalk and other games.

Jessi creates a list of things that Mal can do from home. While she originally agrees to help, she starts getting frustrated. She keeps thinking about how she isn't getting better, but the club won't let her quit. She decides to make them think that she's a horrible person so they will just kick her out. She makes up a few lies to get people annoyed with her, acts irritated when Kristy and Mary Anne stop by, and won't do anything to help. They call an emergency meeting and call her on the phone to tell her that they know her plan and it won't work. She's still a member no matter what she does.

That kicks Mal into gear, and she decides to actually start helping. They still need $100 and they're running out of time, so she suggests that the kids trade favors for money. That totally came out wrong! Basically the kids promise to do something in the future and get money for it now. She tells the other sitters, word spreads, and they meet their goal.

Mallory announces the news to her parents. She's so excited that they can do the retirement home thing on Wednesday and then get ready for NYC. That's when her parents announce that no one is going to New York. Mal offers to stay home and even suggests they hire a sitter but no dice. They decide that they can go to NYC another time, and they tell her that she can't go to the retirement home.

Kristy, Mary Anne, and Jessi take the kids shopping at a warehouse club. They apparently drew straws to pick which kids would get to go, and David Michael, Karen, and Becca all made the list. The store gave them an extra five-percent discount, which helps them save money on everything they need. They run back and make all of the baskets.

Mallory is home when the kids come back from the retirement home. Everyone had a blast and the residents loved the baskets. Everyone starts getting ready for Thanksgiving, but her parents won't let her get off the couch. When Thanksgiving actually comes, they consider making her sit in the living room for dinner but relent as long as she sits in a lawn chair. In the middle of dinner, the BSC shows up and celebrates with her.

Kristy tells her that they're waiting on an important call, and the phone rings. It's Dawn, calling to talk to Mallory and the gang. They all head into the living room for some pumpkin pie, and Mallory hopes that she gets better soon. Her parents do tell her that she can't be in the BSC even after she goes back to school, and she asks Kristy to keep her name off any advertising.

*I have never been to New York City for Thanksgiving, but I imagine that you need reservations super early. The Pikes manage to get rooms at an "affordable" hotel and find an available restaurant with an empty room that can hold 12+ people less than a month before Thanksgiving.

*Apparently, Ben gets teased at school and people say that he gave Mal the kissing disease. I don't know, but I thought this was cute, especially when Mal gets upset at her siblings teasing her too.

*The "whole" club calls Mallory, but Shannon isn't there. It's a little odd because she is the alternative officer and Logan is on the phone, but Shannon doesn't get mentioned.

*Charlie drives three sitters and like six kids to the wholesale club. Kristy says that Watson gave her his card to use so it's okay. My parents belonged to one of these clubs when I was a teenager and I couldn't just walk in on my own, let alone wander in with a ton of guests.

*Mal catches Vanessa waving at herself in the mirror in case she appears on television during the parade. She has three different versions: the flap, the windshield wiper, and the light bulb.

*The kids buy kid gifts for the baskets like a bubble maker and building blocks. I like that, but I don't like it when they buy kids' books on tape. Charlotte's Web and The Wind in the Willows are two that I remember. They buy straight up adult mysteries for those who can read, but those with bad eyesight get stuck with children's books.

*Mallory admits in this one that she has never kissed Ben or anyone else.

*The cousins call later in the book to ask them to come to NYC for a visit. Mal can't go, but Nicky, Claire, Margo, and Vanessa go with their mom. It's a little odd that the triplets decide to stay home and play, especially since they seem the most upset about not going in the first place.

*Who the hell randomly gives away 12 bleacher seats right in front of the parade? Between the Pikes and the cousins, that's at least 12.

*Mrs. Pike makes two pumpkin pies, which is nothing in my house. Between their family, Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Jessi (Stacey has stuffed mushrooms), that's 14 people sharing two pies. I made two pies last year for five people.

*Then again, I also made way more food for my little group. The Pikes have turkey, stuffing, pearl onions, mashed potatoes, peas, cranberry sauce, veggies and dip, a cheese log, green salad, stuffed mushrooms, and the pie. We had a homemade relish tray, stuffed mushrooms, a homemade meat/cheese tray, turkey, stuffing, homemade cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, peas, corn, brussel sprouts, stuffed pork loin, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, and chocolate sweet potato pie, and that's just what I can remember off the top of my head. AND, I started the same time that Mrs. Pike does LOL.

*One of the things that I hate in these YA books is when someone is sick and complains about being bored with reading and watching television. I cannot think of anything better than lounging around in bed for a week with a TV and a stack of books, but maybe it's just me.

*Here's my mono story. I got sick the summer between my seventh and eighth grade years. This is a total trend with me by the way. The next summer, I broke the growth plate in my ankle in three places, had surgery, and spent the entire summer on the couch.

Anyway, my mom noticed that I kept nodding off, but no one knew what was wrong. We had this family reunion, and I went with my mom and one of my best friends. I started getting tired in the middle and went back to the car. My mom found me curled up in the backseat, sound asleep. It was the middle of July, 98 degrees outside, and I had all of the windows rolled up, so it was ridiculously hot in there!

The doctor discovered I had mono, and I spent the next 3-4 weeks sitting on the couch or laying in bed. At one point, I slept for 26 hours straight. It was the suckiest thing ever, made worse by the fact that they once thought I had chronic mono, which means that you basically keep getting mono, getting better, and getting mono again.

I did manage to make it back to school in the fall, though I was still really tired for a few weeks. Every time I get tired for a few weeks, I start praying that I don't have it again!

The Baby-Sitters Club #84: Dawn and the School Spirit War

2013-03-21T05:02:00.000-04:00

This is the book where I scared my boyfriend and roommate my saying, "you're such a bitch" and throwing the book on the floor LOL.

Mary Anne is super excited because the baseball team has a chance to win the championship, which means that she can celebrate with Logan. Dawn finds the whole thing odd, which leads to Mary Anne pointing out that the last game will take place against SMS's big rival. She also points out that Dawn probably doesn't know how important it is because she isn't native to Stoneybrook.

When walking to school, they learn that SMS wants to celebrate with School Spirit Month. Claudia, Kristy, and Jessi are all pretty excited, while the other three don't really care. Once they get to school, they get a list of all the major days. Mary Anne instantly flips out because one day is pajama day, and she can't handle the idea of people seeing her in her pajamas. Dawn isn't happy either. She supports some of the day, like school clean up, gardening, recycling, etc. but not all of the days. They ask a few students and teachers about whether it's mandatory or not, and no one has an answer.

Mary Anne breaks down that night because she is a total moron. She starts crying because all of her pajamas are slightly see through, and she contemplates wearing her own clothing and saying that she sleeps in her clothes. Dawn tries to calm her down, but she totally loses it because she thinks if she doesn't participate that Logan will think that she doesn't care about the team.

Dawn does the school clean up day, but when it comes to color day, she completely forgets. Everyone in the eighth grade is supposed to wear yellow, and she finds Mary Anne in yellow tights and a yellow dress. After digging through all of her stuff, she finds a pair of socks. Conveniently, the Stoneybrook news sent a reporter over to the school, and she interviews Dawn. Everyone picks on her because they think she didn't wear yellow, and they pick on other kids that didn't participate.

That night, Dawn appears on the news, and the reporter only uses part of the interview, claiming that Dawn has no school spirit. Sharon gets pissed off and calls the reporter multiple times to chew her out, but the woman never calls her back. The more they think about it, the more they realize that there have to be other students who don't want to participate.

They create a petition saying that some of the students do not want to take part. Emily and Shawna sign the petition and it gets passed around school, but not everyone agrees with it. Oddly enough, Stacey does pop up and asks to sign it, even though this book comes when she isn't in the club. People start lashing out at Dawn, and Mary Anne to a lesser extent. Someone leaves a message on her door, telling her to go back to California and calling her a freak.

As they keep circulating the petition, the school gets divided in half. Kristy is so disgusted with them that she can't even seat next to them in the cafeteria, and Alan hilariously dumps a plate of spaghetti and meatballs over Dawn's head. Someone also glues both of their lockers shut, and she gets a threatening note warning her to back off.

As if this story couldn’t get any more ridiculous, the school board cannot decide what to do. SMS holds an open forum, and Dawn presents her petition. The pro-spirit kids sit on one side and the anti-kids sit on another side, and everyone screams and shouts. That does nothing, so they hold another forum for parents and students.

Sharon brings Mary Anne and Dawn, and the same reporter goes after Dawn. Sharon goes off on her, and the meeting goes the same way. People keep screaming at each other, one woman yells about the kids, and Alan's mom says that kids who won't conform will end up smoking, drinking, and using drugs. Someone else accuses Sharon of being a bad mom because if she did her job, the kids would just do what the teachers said.

Richard finds the whole thing a little funny, especially when the reporter accuses Sharon of inciting a riot on the news. Dawn notices that the anti-spirit kids are starting to fight back, which she agrees with until she realizes that they are acting the same way as the pro-spirit kids. Claudia even paints a big mural at school, which someone destroys, and she won't talk to either of them.

The school decides to cancel spirit month, and Dawn isn't too happy about it. Sharon suggests that she just feels letdown now that the "war" is over, but she doesn't agree with her. She and Mary Anne have a long talk and decide to create a new plan. She gives a speech over the loudspeaker, saying that spirit month should come back but only if it isn't mandatory. She does a few of the special events but not all of them, and she even goes to the big game. After seeing everyone cheering and rooting for the team, Dawn starts to feel a little school spirit herself.

The B-plot surrounds the Barrett-DeWitt family. Their house is suddenly way too small for everyone. The kids keep worrying that their parents will make them move away from Stoneybrook, so they work on organizing the house and giving away some of their stuff. Mrs. DeWitt finally announces that they have a new plan to build an addition onto the house. They host a groundbreaking party, and the kids steal the plans. They decide that they don't want separate rooms, but two big rooms. The parents agree to their plans to make everyone happy.

*Can minors appear on television without parental consent? I would say no, but Sharon has no idea that the reporter came to the school until she sees Dawn on the news.

*Based on some research I just did, it can cost $10,000 for a one-bedroom addition. This addition will have two large bedrooms for boys and girls, two smaller rooms for the babies, and two bathrooms. Does anyone really believe that they couldn't find a house that fits their budget better than this massive addition?

*I'm not sure when this house suddenly got so small. They literally bought it and moved into it when they got married. I just read that book, and there are multiple mentions over how big it is, even big enough for a piano that no one uses.

*Mrs. DeWitt wears a black velvet pantsuit. Is she going to the opera or the theater? Nope, she's meeting Franklin for a movie in the middle of the day.

*Alan throws a water balloon that almost hits Dawn. She makes a big deal out of how she was "assaulted" by a balloon. Um no Dawn, you weren't assaulted.

*Someone else compares the fight to the Civil War. You dumb middle school bitches, your tiny little stupid argument is nothing like the Civil War.

*Dawn mentions that the news said the students at SHS are divided too. Why? The high school has nothing to do with the school spirit month going on at SMS.

*Poor Logan. He keeps pointing out that the event happened as a way to boost morale before the big game and no one seems to remember that. The whole mural thing involved students painting murals, and no one even bothered doing one that remotely references baseball.

*Here's why I hate Dawn, or at least one reason. She complains about sports teams because sports should just be about getting exercise and having fun, and she doesn't understand why people get so competitive because she never does. You DUMB BITCH!! You were just as bad as everyone else when it came to the Little Miss Stoneybrook contest, and you dropped out of the recycling center project when you couldn't be in charge.

*Claudia wears a purple hat and purple rain slicker that she painted with "Native American designs." Only after going out in the rain does she realize that she should have made sure the paint was waterproof.

*Dawn only approves of days centered around the environment, big surprise. She's all for the day when they build a school garden, clean the school, and collect cans for recycling, but everything else is either lame or stupid.

*One of her big complaints is that she doesn't understand how dressing in pajamas or any of the other events will foster school spirit. Um, what do any of her favorite days have to do with that?

*Sharon keeps saying that Dawn has school spirit but she really doesn't. If she did, she would participate in more than three events.

*School spirit month is a little ridiculous. We always had one week where we did it, and I believe it was the week before Homecoming. And yes, I did wear pajamas to school and participate in stupid crap like team apparel day.

*Some of the events are kind of stupid though, which shows that the ghostwriter had to keep stretching it out. One day involves dressing like a teacher, which leads to students dressing up in mean costumes to look like their teachers.

*This book just really annoyed me. Considering that we keep getting it shoved down our throat that Dawn is such an individual, it's ridiculous that she can't handle the concept of not participating in certain events. No one explicitly says that all students have to participate and many don't, but Dawn has to make it some huge deal.

Sweet Valley Kids #22: Sweet Valley Slumber Party

2013-03-18T05:00:00.000-04:00

The Wakefields are going out of town for the weekend and Steven went to stay with their grandparents, but Alice's Aunt Nancy arrives to take care of the twins. The twins are a little nervous because they don't remember ever seeing her before, but it turns out that she's a pretty cool older lady.

Lila, Ellen, Ava, and Amy come over to the house for the party. Lila brags about her new purple sleeping bag and won't let anyone touch it, and she wants to brag about her new stuffed unicorn toy. It turns out that Amy has the same toy, and Lila gets really snotty about it because hers is clearly better though no one will listen to her. She walks out of the room and everyone has to follow her. She tells Jessica that Amy ruined the party for everyone, and Jessica wonders if their friends can get along.

The girls head upstairs and find a few of Alice's dresses on the bed. Lila wants to play dress up, but then she decides that they need makeup. When they go into the bathroom, she trips and rips a big whole in Alice's favorite dress. The girls start flipping out and wondering what to do, but then Aunt Nancy pops up. She was planning to shorten and hem the dresses because Alice asked, so she can fix the damage without any problems.

They go back downstairs and have a major pillow fight, tossing pillows and stuff all over the room. After playing around the house and going back into the den, Amy grabs her stuffed unicorn. Lila pitches a fit because she says that it's her toy, and the girls divide right down the middle. After a big fight, they check out the whole house and don't find it.

Aunt Nancy gets in the middle and decides to take the unicorn from them until they can find it. She orders pizza, which cheers everyone up, but they start fighting over the toy again. She tells them that she found it and divides them into two teams for a scavenger hunt, mixing up the friends.

Their first clue says that it's something that leans but doesn't fall. They check rocking chairs, books, clocks, and a bunch of other stuff before each group asks for a second clue. Aunt Nancy says that whoever finds the toy first will get to pick where they go for dessert. She gives them a list of words, and it turns out that the first letter of each word spells out recliner. They find the other unicorn, and the girls admit that they can't tell which one is which so they both just take one.

Aunt Nancy treats everyone to ice cream, and the twins decide that they can't wait to see her again. Ned and Alice come back just in time to hear everyone talking about Halloween.

*Aunt Nancy apparently hasn't seen the twins since they were babies, which seems odd. Why would you agree to specifically come into town to sit for two kids when their parents can't even be bothered to let you see them for years?

*This book mentions that Elizabeth and Jessica "sometimes" wear the same outfits but usually dress different. Yet the whole point of the first SVT book is that they dressed alike until sixth grade.

*Why the heck would Alice want her aunt to turn three dresses from long dresses into shorter/knee-length dresses and why would she agree? Nothing sounds like more fun than babysitting and sewing on vacation!

*Lila is such a little bitch! She says that her unicorn is better because it's new and acts like Amy's is some ragged toy. Then, after the girls all start searching for the missing toy, she sits on the couch, pouts, and won't help anyone. She says that she shouldn't have to help because she already knows where her toy is and that Amy is the one missing a toy.

*When they play dress up, Elizabeth spends the whole time worrying that they might get in trouble, even though Jessica literally just said that Alice lets them do it.

*I have a hard time picturing Amy Sutton of all people playing with a stuffed unicorn and even bringing it to a sleepover.

Sweet Valley High #34: Forbidden Love

2013-03-14T04:59:00.000-04:00

Sweet Valley High is all abuzz because Maria Santelli is engaged to Michael Harris. Even though Jessica barely talks to her, she now wonders if Maria will put her in her wedding party, and she wants to be next to her in the pyramid. Elizabeth thinks that they will probably keep things on the down low because their parents don't get along. Their dads were once business partners but had a falling out and no longer speak.

Maria is so excited about her engagement though that she shows off her ring to everyone. Michael points out that he wanted to keep it a secret, but she thinks that their best friends deserve to know. Lila and Jessica decide to throw them a huge engagement party at Fowler Estate. They go all out with a wedding cake and surprise them by saying that it's a party for Lila's cousin.

Maria is also working with Winston because he's running for student council. Michael is pretty jealous of all the time that they spend together, and he pouts whenever she makes plans with him. They meet every Tuesday and Thursday, but he asks her to cancel one day to spend it with him. He then makes her give up another day because he has a tennis match. When he suggests that she stop helping him, she agrees to find a replacement.

She turns to Liz, which is a bad idea. Liz says that she's way too busy dealing with schoolwork and a special project she's working on with Jeffrey for the paper. She also makes a few rude comments about the engagement, in her smug Liz way. Maria winds up saying that she's just jealous and hanging up on her. Winston doesn't take it very well either, telling her that she's breaking her heart, which makes her wonder how he feels about her. He naturally tells Liz that he has a huge crush on Maria and wishes she was single.

Everyone in school gets paired up for a special marriage project. Michael and Maria conveniently wind up together, and they constantly fight. The teacher picks their jobs, and Maria is a stay at home mom. She talks about how she wants to work, and Michael does the whole "no wife of mine" thing. They also have to deal with a fake crisis. Theirs is a son who gets caught shoplifting and the judge recommends counseling. Michael threatens to beat it out of his son and she just goes along with him.

That is really their big problem. Maria just follows along with whatever he says or does because she's afraid of rocking the boat. They even get into a fight on the way to the party, and when she says that she doesn't want to go, he leaves her in the car and heads to the house. She runs after him, and the other guests swarm them. Michael gives a huge speech where he announces that he'll run against Winston in the student council elections with Maria's help. Winston runs outside, and she goes right up to Michael and hands him back the ring before chasing after him.

Mr. Santelli and his wife go to the movies and run into Caroline's mom. Mrs. Pierce lets it slip that Caroline is at the party and congratulates them on the engagement. They call Michael's parents and all four rush to the party. Michael tells them that they were engaged but not anymore, and they make up over their fight. They even decide to start working in business again.

Maria apologizes to Winston and makes a comment that lets him know the engagement is off. He suggests that he might need to be a little more serious, but she likes him the way he is. They wind up kissing and going back to the party. Michael and Maria have a chance to talk and decide to be friends. They finish up their project and actually agree on what they need to do.

*Micheal’s sister is coming to his meet, but she doesn't know about the engagement, so Maria has to take off the ring and just sit in the stands. She can't even cheer for him because they are supposed to hate each other.

*She also has to take the ring off every day after school and put it back on in the morning. When she tells him that she's getting sick of it, he says that he will eventually tell his parents. Nice guy.

*I love that Liz gets paired with Bruce for the project, just like they did in junior high. Lila winds up with Ken and complains that they will never have any money. Jessica works with Winston, and they actually get along better than they do later in the series.

*So Michael is the type of guy who wants his wife home, barefoot and pregnant and isn't above beating his children. Yup, he totally sounds like the kind of guy I would want to marry.

*Maria never once mentions having any feelings whatsoever for Winston, but when he says that he likes her, she suddenly likes him too, and they date for millions of books. I'm not sure how I feel about Winston going after a girl who just got dumped though...

*Liz mentions that she never thinks about marriage and feels relieved that Jeffrey isn't thinking about it either. Somehow, I think that the answer would be different if it was Todd.

*Liz also comes across as a little smug, saying that she feels confident with their relationship without thinking about things like marriage.

*Ha! Liz says that Jess will probably never settle down because she'll just keep bouncing from one guy to the next.

*Winston knows that they broke up because Maria says he knew they "were engaged." It's just a little minor thing, but I would totally tell someone something like "you knew we were dating, right?" It doesn't necessarily mean anything, and it would sound odd if she said, "you didn't tell me you loved me because you knew we are engaged."

The Baby-Sitters Club #47: Mallory on Strike

2013-03-11T04:56:00.000-04:00

Since SMS hosts 9 billion different events every year, they decide to host a Young Author's Day. Mallory can't wait because she wants to be a writer (in case you didn't know) and she plans to work on a big story for the contest. She tells Jessi all about it, and everyone acts like she already has it in the bag.

Nobody bothered to tell her parents though, which means that she seldom gets any work done. She plans to spend all day Saturday working on her story, but her parents need her all the time because they can't focus without her. They ask her to make a sandwich for Claire and do 900 other things. On another day, she gets stuck breaking up a fight with the triplets, sitting for Claire, and keeping Margo out of trouble. She doesn't even have time to do her homework let alone work on her story.

She winds up turning down a few sitting jobs, which annoys Kristy. While dealing with a bunch of family stuff, she shows up late for a meeting, which really annoys Kristy. She also turns down more jobs and decides to work on a schedule. She outlines all of her current sitting jobs, schedules time for chores, time to work on her story, and time for homework. Mrs. Pike interrupts her on the first day, asking her to handle baking cookies for dessert.

Mallory finally decides that she should retire from the club. She shows them her schedule, and Kristy points out that she didn't leave any time for new sitting jobs. Mallory asks them to demote her to an associate member so she can deal with everything in her life. Kristy decides to give her two weeks off to focus on her story, and then they can decide what to do next.

The next weekend, she officially decides to go on strike. She makes a sandwich board out of a piece of poster board and a pair of suspenders and tells them all that they need to leave her alone for the rest of the day. The Pikes need to go to an emergency library meeting (seriously) and hire Mary Anne and Dawn to watch the kids. Mary Anne interrupts Mallory, who didn't even know they were there. Mary Anne points out that Mallory needs to have a serious conversation with her parents so things don't go back when she finishes her story.

Mallory finally does have the talk, and the Pikes feel bad about taking her for granted. They decide to host a special Mallory day, and take her and Jessi to the mall. After wandering through the mall and buying some crap, her parents treat them to lunch. She feels pretty good about the day but realizes that she missed her siblings, so she tells them that she wants to take them out after Young Author's Day.

Young Author's Day finally comes, and Mallory signs up for all of the events. In the middle of the day, they give out awards and she wins for Best Overall Story in the sixth grade. A professional writer comes to the event and talks to Mallory about how she has what it takes to make it in the writing world. People come up to her in school to talk about what a great job she did and her teacher is super impressed with her work.

At the end of the book, she and Jessi arrange to spend the day with the Pike kids. They take them to a carnival-thing at the Barrett house and make them put on a puppet show. She then goes to the park and gives them a clue, which leads them on a treasure hunt. They find a bunch of treats and small toys for them, and the book ends with them all hanging out in front of the Pike house.

*So, Mallory apparently takes a Creative Writing class on top of English. Did any of your schools offer this? We had a club for people who liked writing, but it met one day a week after school.

*Mallory mentions that she buys a pair of earrings and a vest, while Jessi buys a sweater and earrings. When they go to lunch, they claim that they have bulging bags and Mr. Pike asks if they bought out the mall...for two bags?

*The writer does a Q&A session first thing in the morning and then signs her books at the end of the day. Why the heck would a professional writer come to a middle school just to lounge around all day?

*Mallory mentions that her teacher wrote a book and is all impressed by that. I wrote a book too, one that you can actually find on Amazon and in book stores, and no one in my family really seemed to care LOL.

*Is hiding a bunch of stuff around a public park a good idea? It's at least two hours until they go back, and anyone could find the stuff in that time.

*Mal wears red tights, a denim skirt, jean jacket, and earrings that Claudia made when they go to the mall, while Jessi wears a purple jumpsuit with a gold turtleneck. I'm totally picturing one of those weird jumpsuits with the thin straps and scooped neck, which makes it even worse.

*Jessi sits for Claire and Margo, who are annoyed by Mallory being a pain. They make a ballet called Mean Old Mallory, and then tell her about it and how Jessi laughed at it. Mal gets upset, tells them to shut up, and runs off in tears.

*Kristy has plans with Mary Anne but gets stuck sitting for Andrew, Karen, and David Michael. Everything goes wrong all day: the kids fight, Boo-Boo eats their sandwiches, etc. She wonders how Mallory can handle with that type of thing everyday.

*The reason she has to sit is because her mom's friend had a heart attack, so she and Watson are going straight to the hospital. That's kind of sweet, but it seems a little extreme. Since it literally just happened (or they just got the call), it kind of seems like only the family should be there.

*Dawn and Mary Anne have some issues when sitting too. They make one big pizza for all the kids, but they have to pick ingredients off for some kids, and Claire needs her pizza cut into smaller pieces. BTW, they totally didn't tell Mallory when they made lunch.

*The people in her class get the option to submit something for Young Author's Day or not. It kind of seems strange that kids who specifically take a class for creative writers wouldn't want to take part.

*The whole award thing is weird anyway. They give prizes for different types of writing (mystery, etc.) and then the Best Overall prize, but Mallory actually submits her story for that prize. Doesn't it seem like they should award those prizes to the best story from each grade regardless of its style/theme?

*Mallory is all shocked when she finds out that it takes a year to get a book published. That seems like it's common sense because I was surprised that mine landed in stores around five to six months after the publisher got it and we went through editing.

*Mr. and Mrs. Pike are really horrible parents. They literally ask Mallory to do something different every day and then don't understand why she is frustrated. Maybe your daughter is annoyed because you can't be bothered to stop a fight between your sons or make a sandwich for your daughter.

*BTW, they call Dawn and Mary Anne because they have a library emergency. They claim that the library is in the middle of a financial crisis and need all the board members there. I'm pretty sure that's something that wouldn't just randomly appear overnight, and why would these two sit on the board of anything.

*Part of why Mallory asks to be demoted is because of her sitting job for the Barretts. They spill flour all over the kitchen, and before she can stop them, Suzi and Buddy dump water all over the floor. Buddy then goes for a bike ride and gets his foot caught in the spokes because he wasn't wearing shoes. Mrs. Barrett is pretty cool with it, but Mallory thinks that it proves she can't handle sitting.

*Mallory says that Jessi takes French. Has that been mentioned before? I know she has an "ear for language," but I always pictured her taking Spanish or something. Claudia keeps bragging about this great French dish, and Jessi translates it as eels.

*Here's my story about writing in middle school. We had a club that meet one day and had a big competition once a year. There were district, regional, and state competitions, and we only made it past the regional level once. Our English teacher picked the students for the club, but some people just randomly joined. I loved our teacher, but he definitely had his favorites and I was not one of them. He always criticized my writing and heaped praise on a few other people. I ran into him when I hit high school, and he told me that he kept pushing me because he knew I was a strong writer but he knew that I could do better. I guess he was right because out of the 15+ people in that club, I am the only one who now works as a writer.

Sweet Valley Twins #70: Psychic Sisters

2013-03-07T04:55:00.000-05:00

Sweet Valley just ran a special all night movie marathon, featuring teen movies because in Sweet Valley, the world revolves around teens. Steven is incredibly annoyed because he wants to hang out and the twins are still asleep in the floor. To make matters worse, Alice won't shut the fuck up and get off the phone. She got put in charge of some big designers shindig, which involves her talking to the same man and telling him the same things repeatedly. Steven starts rolling his eyes because he knows exactly what she needs: the George Washington room for 328 people to hold a black tie dinner on the 28^th or the 15^th.

When the twins finally wake up, they head into the kitchen and Elizabeth pours them both a bowl of Corny-Os cereal. Jessica thinks it's a little odd because she woke up thinking about the same cereal and thinks that they are psychic. Steven then finds Ned passed out on the couch. It turns out that he came downstairs to check on the twins and got wrapped up in a movie starring Johnny Buck about the French Revolution. He also laughs at how many Corny-Os commercials he saw.

Jessica wants to brag about being psychic, but Elizabeth tells her to calm down. When Amy asks what each one plans to do their big history report on, they both answer the French Revolution at the same time and have no idea why. Jessica later sees Randy reading an article on psychics. He tells her that his uncle is a documentarian who specializes in psychics. She tells him about her and Liz and he doesn't really care. Then she tells him about how she once figured out that Liz was trapped in the basement when no one knew where she was. She lies and says that Liz nearly drowned when the basement flooded, and Randy agrees to talk to his uncle.

Randy rushes up to her in the cafeteria with the news that his uncle wants to meet with the twins and possibly use them in his next film. Liz just kind of rolls her eyes and wonders why she keeps getting dragged into her sister's schemes. The Unicorns decide that they need to see some proof, so they ask them to think of a number. They both pick 328 and everyone is impressed. Janet then has them think of a president, and they both answer with George Washington. As an added bonus, she tells them to pick a piece of clothing and a color, which leads to them both guessing black tie.

Bruce thinks it's all kind of ridiculous, and he tells them to pick two numbers. They both pick 15 and 28, which makes everyone think that they are psychic. At the same time, there's a huge talent show taking place and Ellen has the starring role. Even though she can't really sing, she gets to do a big number because her mom is in charge. Lila and Bruce's dads convince the committee to put the twins in the show as the starring act.

Unfortunately, the twins quickly realize that they aren't psychic, at least not anymore. Jessica makes her twin sit under a fake pyramid and try to practice, but they can't get anything right. Alice is getting ready to take a trip out of town, and she asks Liz to drop off an envelope at the big hotel for her upcoming black tie dinner. Liz temporarily forgets, and when she checks the envelope, she realizes why they kept picking all the same things.

Jessica goes to Maria for help because she conveniently starred in a movie about a fake psychic. Maria shows them how to bluff their way through by learning a code where certain movements equal different letters. Even though Jessica is such an amazing actress (ha), Ned notices her movements, but they still manage to master the whole thing in two days.

On the day of the show, Liz drops off the envelope for the manager and takes the stairs because the elevator is too slow. When she gets downstairs, she realizes that the door is locked and she can't get out. Jessica thinks that Liz skipped out on her, but when standing on stage, she puts two and two together. She does this whole fake thing where she pretends that Liz is channeling through her.

Ned pulls her off stage, and everyone rushes to the hotel. Jessica finds Liz trapped in the stairway and she becomes a big star. Randy's uncle sells the footage to the local news and says he might sell it to a national program, so they will be big stars everywhere. Jessica announces that she and Liz decided to retire from the psychic world so we never have to hear about this again.

*I have to agree with Steven on the whole room thing. Alice literally repeats the same information at least three times in the first few pages, and he mentions that she's been on the phone for over an hour. If the guy still doesn't know what you want, why the heck would you want to host anything there?

*Speaking of Steven, since when is he too mature to stay up all night? He says that the movie marathon was only for younger kids like the twins, but it was a teen movie night.

*Jessica sees a poster of the twins and gets annoyed because she looks like Ellen. Sarah Thomas explains that she already did a drawing of Ellen and had to change it when the twins took the starring roles. Um, what kind of school uses elaborately drawn images of kids for posters that go up around town?

*Maria can't be in the show as an actor because she has stage experience and this is for amateurs. Would anyone really care?

*Liz explains that this is a serious show and they won't accept goofy acts, yet there's a guy who does skateboard tricks and Mary and Tamara lip-sync and dance to a song.

*Denny asks Jessica to read the bumps on his head, and she tells him to look both ways before crossing the street. He later avoids getting hit by a car by looking both ways before crossing a one-way street. She then tells Lila to watch out for a green blouse, which is the shirt that she wanted and Lila bought. A few seconds later, someone trips and drops a bowl of lime Jell-o on her shirt.

*There's a funny scene where Ellen starts yelling at Jessica and strains her voice, so she accuses Jessica of being a witch and putting a spell on her.

*Jessica tells Mary and Tamara that they should add Ellen to their group literally seconds before going on stage and they agree. They all go out together, despite them making a huge deal out of the fact that they were practicing alone for weeks several times in the books and Ellen doesn't know the moves.

*Randy's uncle says that he can't use the footage for his movie, which is why he sold it. Why couldn't he, or why couldn't he just do an interview with the twins later?

*Speaking of that tape, do local news stations really pay for footage? I have a friend who works for one of our stations (in a fairly large city), and he said hell no. They either use stock footage, footage from another station, something someone sent in, or something they film themselves.

*This guy is a horrible filmmaker anyway. He does his voiceover work while sitting in a car with Jessica next to him and talking. Like he wouldn't dub the voicework in a studio!

The Baby-Sitters Club #86: Mary Anne and the Camp BSC

2013-03-04T04:48:00.000-05:00

It's the end of the school year and three weeks until summer camp starts, so you know what that means. Everyone and his mother is going to be calling the BSC for help. Mary Anne and Mallory think about this while sitting for the Pikes, and they decide to bring it up during the next meeting.

The BSC decides that they should hold a big camp for the kids in Stoneybrook, and they use Mary Anne and Dawn's house. They get a few nearby parents to agree to be “on call” in case of an emergency, and they call all their regular clients. They also decide to do a circus theme, but agree not to tell the kids until the first day.

Mrs. Gianelli brings Bobby and Alicia to camp, but Alicia doesn't do so well. She starts crying every time her mom leaves and refuses to go on any field trips because she thinks her mom will come back early and not find her. Instead of making her go, they let her stay with Mary Anne at the house while everyone else goes to the park and Mrs. Stone's farm.

Karen and some of her friends (Ricky, Hannie, etc.) went to a real circus camp (whatever the heck that is), and they start bitching and complaining about the BSC camp. Karen rolls her eyes a lot and moans about how lame everything is. I have to agree with her though. The kids create a bunch of tricks and stunts and dress up as animals to hold their own circus event on the last day.

Karen creates a trick that lets her saw someone in half, but it uses a pair of fake legs made from old pantyhose. When practicing her trick, one of the legs fall off. The BSC and the charges have a big fight over the circus act, but the leg makes everyone start laughing. Karen winds up doing the trick in the show and everyone loves it.

While all of this is going on, Richard announces that he needs to fly to Ohio for some business merger he needs to oversee. Sharon can't wait because it will give the girls a chance to have two weeks of freedom. Mary Anne thinks it sounds like fun at first, but she gets tired of it pretty quickly. Neither Dawn nor Sharon clean up. They just let all the trash sit in the living room and keep the dishes piled up in the sink. Mary Anne also gets sick of eating take out every night of the week, and at one point, she makes dinner for herself while they eat pizza.

She also starts missing her dad a lot, even suggesting that he come home early. While riding bikes with Logan and Dawn, she hits something in the middle of the road and hits the road pretty hard. She winds up going to the hospital with a bunch of scrapes and bruises and a sprained ankle. Richard calls the hospital to check on her, and she once again asks him to come home and he just puts her off.

This pretty much sets Mary Anne off so she starts acting like a huge crab. Sharon lets her order anything she wants and tries to convince her to go to the movies with them, but she refuses. At camp the next day, Alicia decides to go on the next field trip and leave Mary Anne alone. That makes her realize that she needs to be more independent. She has a long talk with Richard when he gets back, and then they sit down to watch the video of the circus performance.

*Major continuity error: Richard says that he needs to take a business trip to Cincinnati. Right before he leaves, he mentions flying to Cleveland. Two cities on the opposite end of the state!

*Dawn “invented” three-cheese macaroni. That's funny because I also “invented” three-cheese macaroni when I realized that I didn't have enough of one kind.

*Dawn doesn't seem like the type of person who would leave dishes and trash in the sink for over a week. Wasn't she always cleaning up after her mom?

*Richard says that he will need to make a few more trips back to Ohio over the summer. Do lawyers really need to do that much traveling? What the heck kind of lawyer is he anyway?

*I love how Dawn whines so much about the evils of red meat, but she has no problem eating loads of cheese and eggs all the time. It also doesn't seem realistic that she would be okay eating take out every night for two weeks.

*It's really bitchy for Sharon to suggest that Mary Anne go to the movies with them. Granted it's the drive in, but it's still a little bitchy. How comfortable could she really be sitting in the backseat?

*Were drive ins really rare/scarce in 1995 when this book came out? We only have one or two left within driving distance now, but we went to them all the time when I was younger. I hit 16 in 1996, and my group of friends still went to the drive in movies pretty often.

The Baby-Sitters Club #55: Jessi's Gold Medal

2013-02-28T04:45:00.000-05:00

Jessi is an amazing dancer in case you didn't know, which means that she's good at anything even remotely related to dancing. SMS just announced that the students will spend their gym class at the community center taking swim classes. This works out nicely for Jessi because she just asked her parents for a swimming pool but they can't afford it.

Mallory hates the idea, especially since there are boys in the gym class. She can swim pretty good, but she has nothing on Jessi. Jessi notices another woman standing with her gym teacher and watching her. It turns out that she's the coach of the local synchronized swim team and she knows that Jessi has dance training by the way she swims. She asks her to come and check out their team.

Stoneybrook is getting ready for yet another annual event that comes out of nowhere. This one is some random type of Olympic event. Jessi goes to the team's practice and earns a spot on the team right away. Despite saying 700 times that it's a team competition, the coach assigns her this chick Elise as a partner. Elise is on the SMS swim team, and she practiced with this team for a few weeks. The coach then tells them that each two-person team will compete against each other, and she naturally picks Jessi to choreograph their routine.

While practicing, Jessi starts thinking about her charges. Becca is super excited about the Olympics but disappointed that it won't come to Stoneybrook. She suggests hosting an event just like the big one for the kids in town. Nearly everyone wants to take part except for Charlotte and ironically enough, Becca.

Andrew tries a bunch of different events and keeps failing, which puts him in a bad mood. The BSC decides to give every kid a ribbon so they will feel better about participating. Stacey keeps pushing Charlotte into taking part, which makes her feel bad because she thinks Stacey doesn't like her. Since Mary Anne is the only BSC member not participating in the Olympics thing, she calls Charlotte and talks to her.

Mallory doesn't seem too excited either. She keeps sighing and whining a lot about how she sucks at sports. While practicing with the triplets, she trips during a sack race and sprains her ankle. She ends up on crutches for a few weeks, and she finally gets rid of the crutches in time for the mini-Olympics and admits that she was going to pretend like she hurt herself anyway. The kids event goes off without a hitch except that Andrew loses at a bunch of events, but he gets excited when he gets a ribbon.

Kristy and Alan make a bet on who can win a race with the loser serving as the personal assistant of the winner. The bet spreads through the school, and the principal asks them to do a public race in the middle of the event. Alan ends up finishing a few feet behind her, and she makes his life a living hell. He has to set up the kids events, bring her cold drinks and cookies, and has to clean up puke.

Jessi and Elise end up winning first place (i.e. gold medal) in the synchronized swimming event. She invites Elise back to her house for a picnic and they become “good” friends. Jessi tells the BSC that she loves swimming, but she's just way too busy and hates that she's too tired for ballet so she quits.

*How the heck can her parents not afford a swimming pool? Then again, they probably throw away a ton of money on her dance classes every week.

*She comes home from dance class, which takes place right after school, and her parents immediately ask her to watch Squirt and Becca so they can make dinner even though Cecilia is there.

*I'm not sure how this whole swimming thing in class works. Everyone shows up, the teachers make them do a few strokes (despite saying that they know not everyone can swim), and then assign them a group based on their skill level. What if you are a kid who can't swim and has no desire to learn how to swim?

*Would being a ballet dancer naturally mean that you're perfect at synchronized swimming? Yeah, I didn't think so.

*So, the synchronized swim team exists all the time, but people can quit whenever they want. After practicing for over a month, both Jessi and Elise decide to drop the team at the end of the book.

*It would be nice to see one of these girls pick up a hobby that they stick with in later books. If I suddenly discovered that I was amazing at swimming, I would probably keep swimming.

*Once again, Jessi is only on the team for about a month and is good enough to win a gold medal.

*Charlotte tells Mary Anne that she could still participate and do something like sell hot dogs, so MA totally works the concession stand. I really want to picture Charlotte saying it all sarcastic like though.

*Claudia enters a race where she has to run backwards and still doesn't win. Stacey enters a swimming competition and Dawn does the javelin, but neither one win. Kristy not only wins her race against Alan, but she comes in second in a longer race with like eight people because she's a natural athlete.

*Jessi mentions that she has to watch what she eats for ballet, but in the book with the girl who has an eating disorder, she mentions eating whatever she wants.

*She also tells us that she has long dancer's legs and is a natural dancer, which makes me want to smack her. I really hope she hits puberty and turns into Snookie.

The Baby-Sitters Club Super Special #12: Here Come the Bridesmaids!

2013-02-25T04:42:00.000-05:00

I was almost sure that I never read this one because I didn't remember Mrs. Barrett getting married. When I read about Carol having Mickey Mouse pictures in her bathroom though, I knew that I read it at least once.

Carol and Jack are getting married on the same day as Mrs. Barrett and Mr. Dewitt. Claudia, Mary Anne, and Kristy are heading to California, while everyone else stays in Connecticut. Dawn decides to compile everyone's stories into one book to remember the events.

Dawn is a bridesmaid and she thinks Mary Anne is too, so she buys her a dress. She worries about failing her midterms and getting stuck in California, but she passes with the help of Carol. She also worries about Carol as a step-mom, but she eventually accepts it. The We Love Kids Club throws her a going away party, and she gets excited about heading back “home” to Connecticut.

Stacey is a bridesmaid in Mrs. Barrett's wedding. She helps them partially move into their new home, or at least takes care of the kids while they work on the house. Since she's oh-so-mature, she also gets along great with the older women in the wedding.

Jessi takes over the role of Santa at the department store where Stacey's mom works. She worries that people won't want to see a little black girl dressed as Santa, but everyone loves her. She has so much fun that she agrees to do it again next year. Sadly Jessi, there never will be a next year.

Logan gets one random chapter where he helps Mr. DeWitt move an old piano into their new house. He complains that no one plays it, but Franklin wants it because someone left it in his old house. At the end of the book, he learns that he has to help his parents move the piano into their house because they bought it after a teacher said Hunter was a musical prodigy.

Shannon gets one chapter too. She sits with Mallory for all of the kids during the ceremony. Ryan starts throwing a massive hissy fit, so she has to take him out of the wedding and into the basement. She misses the whole wedding.

Mallory and Ben decide to take the kids caroling. Claudia calls because Mrs. Barrett needs a second sitter for the wedding and it's the same day. Ben wants her to cancel, they have a fight, and stop talking. She later calls him and they make up after deciding to just pick another day to go caroling.

Mary Anne flips out when she learns that she's a bridesmaid. She literally cries at the idea of standing in front of people. She and Dawn fight over it, and then Jack and Carol announce that only Jeff and Dawn are in the wedding. They have yet another fight, but they make up before the wedding.

Kristy does a lot of sighing and whining about the California club. They hold a meeting while she's there, and Sunny tells her that she's throwing Dawn a going away party before they leave. She sticks around to help them plan every detail.

Suzi gets a few chapters because she's worried that Santa Claus won't find her in their new house. She writes him a letter, but then she decides that he won't have time to read it before Christmas. She finally comes up with an idea to leave a trail of chocolate chip cookies from her old house to their new house.

Claudia gets hired to help out with the wedding. She takes notes to the caterer and florist, and she does everyone's hair and makeup before the wedding. Jack pays her exactly half the cost of a plane ticket so she can afford to make the trip.

Jeff is worried that Mrs. Bruen will lose her job because Carol is neat, but they actually give her more hours. He also thinks that Carol's stuff won't match their house. The night of the wedding, the movers call to say that someone stole the truck, but Carol is cool with it.

*Jeff says that even he is too old for the Mickey Mouse pictures. I have a Hello Kitty bathmat, trash can, and shower curtain in my bathroom, so he would totally hate it.

*Why would these girls even fly to California for the wedding? They met Jack once and barely spent any time with him. Plus, why would Mary Anne and Dawn think she would be a bridesmaid? Mary Anne doesn't get along very well with Jack, as evidenced by the later super special.

*Mary Anne puts on the wrong dress on the wedding day and thinks that it's swimming on her (she thinks she shrunk). That doesn't really make sense though. Dawn just bought two dresses in their sizes, it's not like they had the dresses altered or anything.

*I love that Carol gets a small wedding on the beach and wears a dark flowered dress despite it being her first wedding. Mrs. Barrett, who has three kids and marries a man with three kids, has a HUGE church wedding and wears a traditional white dress.

*This is yet another book where one of the sitters (Mallory) makes a huge pot of hot chocolate while sitting and invites the whole neighborhood over.

*The WLKC tells Dawn that she can wear her bridesmaid dress to a lot of places. I beg to differ. My sister-in-law picked out a similar dress for me for their wedding (except in teal!), and it's been in my closet since the night of the wedding.

*Carol and Jack are kind of asses. They make Claudia do stuff like take an entire new order to the caterer less than one week before the wedding. Mr. Kishi is also annoyed because he tells her that a plane ticket is too expensive and then worries that Jack will think he can't afford it.

*Would you put a thirteen-year-old girl in charge of picking out your wedding flowers? Yeah, me either.

*I'm not sure Carol and Jack should get married. Dawn points out that they had a big fight and broke up not too long ago. When they get back together, they decide to just get married without taking any time to work on their problems. Plus, they have a big fight a week before the wedding over what to do with her furniture. Isn't that something they should have discussed before? My boyfriend and I talked about that before we moved in together.

*They give Dawn a ticket to come back to California whenever she wants, which is a little dangerous given that she already ran away from home once.

*Claudia is responsible for taking the wedding photos. That sounds dangerous, especially since she decides to take photos from “interesting angles” like the point of view of the dinner.

*I really hate how Kristy acts like she is the supreme leader of all clubs. She says that their group is “kind of” a baby-sitting club and acts like they can't do anything without her.

*Dawn bitches that the cake at her party had too much sugar in it: the cake that little Sophie made. If you don't like it, don't eat it...bitch.

*Dawn says that a ninth grader flirted with one of her friends while they all stood around trying not to look dorky. That's funny given that in the California Diaries books, they are all cool enough to hang out with older kids all of the time.

*Stacey says that she is a like a member of the Barrett family, but I always pictured that as Dawn's role.

*Mary Anne is ready to leave for the airport at 4:15 and Richard tells her to settle down because her flight doesn't leave until 7. Wouldn't he want to leave early? They have to pick up Claudia and Kristy, drive to the airport, find a parking spot, etc. That seems like cutting it close to me.

The Baby-Sitters Club #4: Mary Anne Saves the Day

2013-02-23T05:07:00.000-05:00

It's another ordinary BSC meeting when Mrs. Newton calls in needing a sitter for Lucy and Jamie. Kristy takes the job and instantly starts gushing about how she can give Lucy a bottle. This was back in the days when Mrs. Newton only occasionally let the girls sit for Lucy. The other girls get annoyed because Kristy didn't share the job around. They call each other job hogs (Claudia), bossy know-it-alls (Kristy), stuck-up city girls (Stacey), and shy little babies (MA). Mary Anne gets so upset that she tells them all off and storms home.

She thinks that she can make up with Kristy after they all cool down, but Kristy won't even look out the window and actually shuts her shade. Mary Anne feels so bad that she writes each girl a letter, which is actually pretty snarky. The only nice letter is one she writes to Claudia because they didn't get mad at each other.

The next day at school, Kristy sits with the twins, and they spread their lunches out so there's no room for Mary Anne. She takes a seat by herself, but a new girl (Dawn) sits down next to her. She tells her that all of her friends are out sick and uses lunch as an excuse to get back at Kristy by putting her head near Dawn's and acting like her best friend.

This is also the first time that anyone in the BSC sits for Jenny P. Mary Anne notes how they seem a little stiff around each other and she thinks it's weird that they keep calling Jenny a little angel. During her sitting job, Jenny spills paint on her dress, and Mary Anne makes her paint in her underwear for most of the job.

Kristy doesn't show up for the next BSC meeting, so she misses out on a bunch of jobs. She decides that they should take turns running the meeting, take all of the jobs that they can, and pass the rest along. Mary Anne and Claudia make up, but then Claudia hears Mimi call her "my Mary Anne" and flips out, so they stop talking.

All the while, Mary Anne and Dawn become good friends. They discover that their parents went to high school together and go through Richard's old yearbooks. They find a note he wrote to Sharon, and they realize that they actually dated. They later find a prom picture and learn that Sharon saved her corsage.

Kristy brags about getting to stay out later to sit, so Mary Anne asks her dad. He tells her no and won't listen when she points out that she's more responsible. She also gets a lot closer to Dawn, hanging out at her house and being all chummy. While at Mary Anne's house, she puts her arm around Dawn and sticks her tongue out at Kristy who is watching from her window. Dawn sees it, goes ballistic, and storms out because Mary Anne used her. She feels so bad that she writes her a note of apology and also writes one to Kristy and slips it in her locker. Dawn forgives her, but Kristy keeps ignoring her.

Mary Anne gets another sitting job with Jenny, and she notices that she's being really quiet. While reading her a book, Jenny falls asleep and she realizes that she's running a fever, which is actually 104. She calls Dawn to come over and help, and Dawn suggests she call 911 when neither of their parents and none of the neighbors are home. Mary Anne also calls to notify her parents, leaves a message for the doctor, etc.

Mr. P is so happy that he gives both girls $10 for helping out and drops them off at home. Mrs. P calls later that night, and Richard has no idea what she is talking about. Mary Anne tells him the whole story, and he realizes that his little girl is growing up. He agrees to let her sit later and to take down some of her baby-ish decorations. She even gets to wear her hair out of braids!

Mrs. Newton asks the girls to help out at Jamie's birthday party, and it doesn't go well. Mary Anne deliberately pours punch in Kristy's lap, Claudia throws a wet napkin at Stacey, and Stacey rubs a wet napkin in Claudia's face. When it comes time to feed Lucy, they all get into a fight, and Mrs. Newton yells at them. At the end of the party, Mary Anne calls an emergency meeting. She says they either need to make up or breakup, and they realize that they can't even remember why they were mad at each other.

Mary Anne also talks to her dad about Sharon and he gets a dazed look, but warns her not to get her hopes up. Dawn talks to Sharon, who gets the same look in her eyes, and they learn that her parents didn't approve of Richard because his dad was *gasp* a mailman. She throws a party for the BSC at her house, and Sharon and Richard get to chat when she drops Dawn off, and they make a date.

The other girls get the chance to meet Dawn. She tells them about all the sitting that she did in California, and they all do the subtle nod to each other. Mary Anne asks her to officially join the BSC. She also gets to bond a little with Stacey and Kristy about moving and divorces.

*It's funny how young Kristy comes across in this book compared to the later ones. When they have to sit for the Pikes, she won't even look at Mary Anne let alone talk to her, and all of the kids pick up on it.

*Check out how young Mary Anne is on this cover! Yeah, there's no way I would let some kid who looks like that sit ALONE for my child.

*Jenny literally has no play clothes, just a drawer full of new and clean "slacks" and blouses. I would hate to see how she would react to the Pike house!

*Mrs. P poses with her husband and asks Mary Anne how they look. She says they look like they just stepped out of a magazine, which seems to confuse her. That seems odd considering it seems like the look she's going for.

*When Jenny gets sick, they're going to a college basketball game, and Mrs. P mentions that they'll go to the game, grab dinner, and be home by 7. Um, my local college (and alma matter) doesn't start games until 6 or 7 at night, and this game is a championship game.

*BTW, Mrs. P wears a black cocktail dress and heels to the game. Am I the only one who wants someone to trip and drop nachos on her?

*Dawn says that she started sitting when she was 9, which makes me feel really bad for poor Mallory. Then again, Jeff (who is 9 in the early books), gets to stay home by himself sometimes.

*When Dawn asks her mom about Richard, Sharon calls him Ritchie, which was his high school nickname. I so wish she called him that in other books.

*Mary Anne frequently makes dinner for her dad when he gets home from work. For some reason, the image of a 12 year old girl making herself look all prim and proper and cooking dinner for her dad skeeves me out.

*In this book, Mary Anne makes Stacey a hamburger for the party because she can't eat the processed cheese on pizza. It's funny how she could in the early books when they had pizza parties, couldn't when they went to Sea City, and then suddenly could again.

*Richard says a prayer before every meal and asks God to watch over Abigail. Mary Anne thinks that praying before bed is enough. It's just odd that this doesn't get mentioned again.

*I somehow ended up with a copy of the original and then one with the new cover. In the original book, it clearly says that her mother's name is Abigail. It's only in the redesigned book that they use Alma.

*This is also one of those infamous books with Stacey and the New Kids on the Block listed on the order form.

Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Special Christmas

2013-02-21T04:39:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas in Sweet Valley, and I think this might actually be the first Christmas! Everyone is all atwitter because Todd Wilkins is coming back for the first time since he moved to Vermont. Elizabeth is a little worried because she isn't sure how she feels about him anymore.

Jessica doesn't give a crap about anyone except herself, shocking right? She's in love with Hans, an exchange student from Germany, and she thinks that if she becomes Miss Christmas or some crap like that, he will fall head over heels in love with her. She gets a call from Cara on the day of the pageant, asking her to take over her job giving out gifts with Santa. Jess agrees, only to find out that she's stuck there all day. Lila set her up and with her out of the picture, Lila wins the title.

There's also a secret Santa thing going on at school. Elizabeth is sooo trust-worthy that Mr. Collins asks her to help assign people names. Jessica demands that Hans get her name, but Elizabeth goes by the book. Jessica doesn't care though because she thinks Hans will get her name because it's fate or something.

None of this matters though because the Wakefields have some bad news. Apparently, Suzanne Devlin called and asked to come spend Christmas with them. Ned and Alice tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted and they felt that they needed to let her do what she wanted. Steven and Jessica convince Liz to call her and try to talk her out of it, but “Suzy” still wants to come. She even wrote to Mr. Collins, who accepted her apology and thinks she should come for a visit.

Everyone agrees to pretty much treat her like crap once she gets there. They pretend that they forgot when she was coming, make plans without her, and Jessica frequently makes snide comments. Liz tries to make amends, but she still thinks things are weird. Jess then goes to Aaron and a few other guys and suggests that they act as bad secret Santas to her.

Todd shows up and pretty much loses it when he sees Suzy. He saw her recently at a ski resort, they spent some time together, and they kind of like each other. He asks her not to tell Liz what happened, Jess overhears, and naturally assumes that they had an affair. They keep acting weird around each other, and for some reason, Liz never picks up on it.

The guys do some stupid crap like leaving notes on the doorstep. Every time something happens, Suzy gets a little nervous but she doesn't seem to really care. Jess sees her taking some pills and spreads a rumor that she's a pill popper. She also makes up lies about how Suzy thinks Sweet Valley is full of hicks and doesn't like anyone there.

Aaron calls and asks Suzanne to some big party as his date and suggests they go to another (fake) party beforehand. The Wakefields leave the twins a bottle of champagne to celebrate and they offer some to Suzy. She gets a new bottle of pills from her doctor, and she wonders why he didn't include any instructions, but she still downs two glasses of champagne and takes her pills. Aaron calls to say that she needs to meet him at the party, and he gives her the address of an abandoned house. She drives off and gets a little dizzy.

The doctor calls the house in a tizzy because he got a message from Suzy. If she drinks even a drop of alcohol, she could die! The twins flip out and tell their parents, and the police call to say that she wrecked the car and is in the hospital. Ned and Alice finally decide to tell the twins that Suzy has MS, which means she will likely end up in a wheelchair soon.

They start feeling really bad and rush to the hospital. Jessica spills the beans about Todd, who finally admits that he ran into Suzy recently. Liz sees (in his eyes, barf) that he loves her despite only spending a few hours with her, and tells him that he should go after her. Suzy's doctor then calls to announce that she doesn't have MS but mono and was misdiagnosed. The twins then get everyone together and throw a party for Suzy.

*I love that Jessica and Lila are the only two girls worth competing in the pageant. Basically, if one of them doesn't show up, it pretty much goes to the other one.

*Cara is passing out presents as part of a special project for the sorority. No one else volunteers, but the whole sorority gets credit. How is that fair?

*The secret Santa thing is weird because they wait until the last day of school, and then everyone has to track down their person during the break. We did secret Santa in one of my school clubs, but we did it the last week before break.

*Why the fuck would they want her to come for a visit? And why in the hell would Roger forgive her? She nearly ruined his career and made life a living hell for everyone in town.

*Ned and Alice are worried about her because of her illness, yet they still agree to let her come. Um, wouldn't it be worse for her if everyone picks on her and treats her like shit?

*I love how Jessica blames Suzy for what happened with Pete, and Suzy actually apologizes. Yes, it's totally her fault that Jessica threw herself at the guy, got drunk around him, and dressed like a slut to attract him.

*Yeah, so Suzanne literally flips the Fiat into a ditch, but it's not only drivable but it only has a few scratches on it. I call bull shit on that.

*I don't have MS, but I did have mono, and there is absolutely no way that a doctor could confuse the two. He should have his license revoked.

*Liz thinks that it would hurt to see Todd with someone else, but she can't imagine the idea of ever cheating on him. Ha! I don't really get this book either, because they decided to date other people in the book where he left, but now they act like they were still exclusive.

*Todd sees Suzy while skiing with a friend, they go to dinner, and they meet up later for a few hours. I would laugh at how fast they fell “in love,” but they actually spent more time together than most couples in Sweet Valley do.

Sweet Valley Twins #27: Teamwork

2013-02-19T05:06:00.000-05:00

It's just another typical day in Sweet Valley. Jessica is sitting around reading about dinner parties, while Elizabeth kicks back with a French cookbook. Jessica decides that they should throw a dinner party and Elizabeth wants to make a bunch of stuff from the book. They run to tell their parents, who immediately think that they are crazy because parties like that take a lot of planning and money.

After some more talking, they decide to ask if they can visit their aunt in Sandy Hook for a three-day weekend. They run back downstairs, and Ned asks if they thought about the cost. Jessica calls the bus station and it's $20 one-way. Elizabeth asks if he can't afford the trip, and he tells them that he's worried they don't think about money. He says that if they raise the money to go, they can.

The twins decide to walk dogs around the neighborhood to raise the money. Steven offers to lend them $5 for photocopies if they pay 50% interest, which they agree. Jessica whines because she has to miss a Unicorn meeting to hand out fliers and because they keep seeing big dogs and she only wants to work with little dogs. They get a few calls, but it only adds up to $20.

Jessica naturally starts slacking off at work. On one walk, she leaves Liz with three dogs so she can try on some clothes at a store they pass. She skips one day to go to a Boosters practice, and she skips another to go for ice cream. Luckily, Ken Matthews loves dogs and he offers to help, but he won't take any money.

One day, Lila and Ellen stop by to see Jessica watching a couple of dogs. A woman offered them $20 if they kept her dogs overnight. They want to go to the mall, and when Ken shows up, he says that he'll watch the dogs for her. This annoys Elizabeth, who finally took the day off to go roller skating, but she takes it.

While sitting at home, a guy named Mr. Quincy shows up with his dog Joe. He offers them $20 to watch the dog for one week and another $20 when he picks the dog up. He even gives them money to buy some dog food. As soon as he leaves, they notice that the dog is skittish and won't come to them. Ken finds bruises and cuts all over his body and realizes that the dog is abused.

The twins don't tell their parents because Ned gave them a huge lecture about how they needed to start being responsible and he didn't want to hear any complaints. Ken buys the dog special food and a special cream that he puts on all the cuts. Joe starts acting friendly and he forms a bond with Ken, who comes over every day to play with him.

They decide that they can't give Joe back to Mr. Quincy. Ken asks his mom if he can keep the dog, but she tells him that he's not old enough and they aren't around enough to take care of a pet. He then decides to ask his cousin to take the dog since the guy lives on a ranch outside of town. Worrying that Mr. Quincy might find him, they cut his hair and dye the white dog black. They take Joe over, and he agrees to take him in.

They head home to find Mr. Quincy there. He explodes when they say that Joe ran away, and he threatens to sue them. Ned makes them go around town looking for him, but of course he's not there. The next day, Ken calls and says that Joe ran away from the ranch. They look all over and find him waiting at the Wakefield house. Ned and Alice say that he showed up there and that they called Mr. Quincy.

When Mr. Quincy shows up, he tries to take Joe and Ken won't let him. The adults lecture him on how it isn't his dog, and he bursts out with the abuse charge. Quincy denies it, but Joe growls and shakes every time he goes near him. Ken offers to show the Wakefields the bruises and scars, and Quincy backs down. Ned threatens him that if he ever gets another dog, he will call the cops. Quincy rushes off, saying he never wants to see another dog.

Ken's parents show up just in time to hear the whole story. His cousin called to say that the dog ran away and they wanted to know what was going on. Mrs. Matthews doesn't even recognize the dog because he got caught in the rain and his hair is now white again. They tell them the whole story, and his parents decide to let him keep the dog. Ned gives the twins the money they need to go to Sandy Hook, and he even agrees to pay Steven back for the loan as a reward for doing the right thing.

*The twins want to throw a sit down dinner party for 14 people, and they think that it's not only easy but that they can do it themselves. Oh, and they think that they can get 12 year old guys to wear suits.

*Jessica thinks that chocolate mousse sounds disgusting because she reads it as chocolate mouse. I'm almost certain that they made chocolate mousse in a previous book at home or in school.

*Ned suggests they have a barbecue for their friends, which makes them pout and whine. Any other time, they would be jumping off the walls about having a party.

*Jessica had the dye because she wanted to color her hair black. I hate to point this out, but no matter what the bottle says, black dye on blond hair will not wash out in a few days. A friend of mine in high school had dirty blond hair and she dyed it black with temporary dye. Her hair stayed dark until it finally started growing out.

*A dog that was abused as much as Joe would not suddenly become a fun loving pet in one week, no matter how much love he got.

*The cream Ken got must be some kind of miracle cream! It healed all of his cuts and bruises in just a few days, leaving no marks or scars behind.