Your Change Is Now

The Best Tricks To Learn Other Languages - Part 1

2016-03-11T17:21:00.000-05:00

The most important aspect of a language is, undoubtedly, vocabulary. If you master your vocabulary proficiency, you can make yourself understood a little better when you are in another country in case you need to order a meal, ask for directions or introduce yourself. So I want to want to continue with the tips to increase your vocabulary, but this time in another language!

¿Hablas español? Encuentra la versión original de la publicación en 14 trucos para aprender otros idiomas.

1. Change the language of everthing all around you

Change the language of all the devices you own. Your phone, your computer, your TV. Change the language of your social networks, your email, your web browser, everything. At first you will probably think it's all a hassle, but since you're using these services often, in reality you won't have big problems to manipulate them in another language. I bet you can use Facebook and YouTube in any language!

You can also change the language of your videogames in your cellphone, tablet, computer or consoles. For gamers, this has always been a great way to learn other languages. While having fun, they also learn a lot!

2. If you can, watch your favorite movies, series and TV programs in the language you want to learn

When you buy your original DVDs, often these include audio and subtitles in different languages. For example, if you want to learn Spanish, put the audio in Spanish and the subtitles in english. If you already have a more advanced level, put both the audio and subtitles in Spanish.

Try to focus in the audio, not in the text. At first you will have problems to understand and enjoy your movies, but if you try, you will learn very fast. I promise.

Over time, if you persevere, you will not need to read the subtitles. The interesting thing about this method is that it costs very little effort and its a lot less boring than sitting in front of a book, or even using an app.

3. Watch news and documentaries in the language you are learning

News and documentaries use common words and its speakers often speak very slowly, with good accent (sometimes a bit exaggerated, which is good for you) and a slightly slower pace. This is perfect for you because you need to learn to distinguish the pronunciation and sound of words in other languages.

4. Read a little bit of everything

Follow the recommendations I offered with the tips to increase your vocabulary.

Additionally, look for articles and topics of interest. Read Wikipedia articles about things you love or about things you are an expert at. If you frequently search the web about a specific topic, such as your favorite sport news or something like that, find related pages that are in the language you want to learn. At first they can be simple things like the biography of your favorite singer or an article about the last movie you watched.

One of the most boring things to learn other languages is to make you speak, write, listen and read about things that are not at all flashy and attractive for you. That is why this method is highly effective: because you learn about things that you like and enjoy.

5. Learn words by category

Do not try to learn words at random. Try to organize and connect them together, this will help you memorize faster and better.

Think about the words you learn as part of a group. For example, look around your living room and think about the typical objects of a room that you can name. Try to remember the words associated with a specific context and make a list of related words.

- If you are interested in a particular area of study, you might want to also focus on the specific vocabulary of that area. Learn related to your career or study words as words for architects, philosophers, engineers, writers, cooks, mechanics, etc.

- Another way to group words are synonyms and antonyms. So look for lists of words that mean the same and the opposite in the language you want to learn.

I'll give you an example in english so you can understand it: if you know the word "weep", surely you also know that "mourn", "cry", "wail", "shed tears" and "bewail" also mean approximately the same. Once you learn this, you can look at the antonyms of the word, such as "revealed", "rejoice", "exult", "make merry", etc.

This gives you a frame of reference when you should further remember a word. If you do not remember a specific word, maybe you remember an antonym or synonym of that same word.

The brain works much better when you can make connections between terms. In your mind, it is much easier to group things and remember them as part of a set or an interrelated network that simply learn things out of context or without relation to other things. In other words, do not learn isolated words.

Note that the best dictionaries not only show you the definition of a word, but their synonyms and antonyms. In addition, there are specialized dictionaries. For example, the Collins English Thesaurus.

In the next publication I will give you 5 more recommendations. So, stay tuned!

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!

#YourChangeIsNow

Basic principles of persuasion - Part 2

2015-08-12T17:43:00.003-05:00

In the last post I introduced the first principle of persuasion: Do not try to manipulate or your efforts will be ruined. As promised, in this post we are going to talk about one of the main principles in persuasion: to know the basic human needs.

2. To persuade, consider the two most basic human needs: to avoid pain and seek pleasure.

¿Hablas español? Encuentra la versión original de la publicación en: Principios básicos de la persuasión: Parte 1

To be persuasive is to know what people want. If you do not speak to their emotions and most basic and fundamental thoughts and needs, it will be very difficult for you to persuade anyone.

When man was a hunter-gatherer (thousands of years ago), he did not have many alternatives in life but to survive and reproduce. The program that allowed him to achieve this was located in his reptilian brain (the earliest and deepest layer of our brain that governs our most primal, emotional and instinctive behaviors) and was guided by two simple behaviors: Running away (to avoid pain) and/or attacking (to seek pleasure in situations that did not represent too much risk).

For this reason, people are motivated by two complementary and essential needs: to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Humans have evolved by suppressing pain (danger, discomfort, overexertion, etc.) and seeking pleasure (rest, food, sex, etc.). To put it another way, we were able to survive and evolve thanks to the blindly comply with these 2 requirements.

This behavioral program remains in our way of thinking and acting, even though current conditions are no longer the same. The brain has adapted to new circumstances, but the program that prevents pain and seek pleasure is still active. This means we can get someone to act if we allow him/her to avoid the pain (if you hit them with a stick until they do something to avoid more hits) and/or seek pleasure (if you offer them a sweet).

In the simplest possible terms, the human being is determined by the two sides of the same coin (if pleasure is absent, the pain will be present, and vice versa), they are the most basic and primitive survival mechanisms and we can use them to persuade others.

How do pain and pleasure manifest in our lives?

The natural condition of human beings is wellbeing. Everything that a man do is judged as desirable or undesirable depending on whether its actions are agents that cause pleasure or pain.

The pain does not have to be understood literally (as physiological pain caused by aversive stimulation somewhere in our body) but all that pain means be considered negative or undesirable, as problems, fears, concerns, poverty, disease, insecurity, contempt, etc.

Likewise, pleasure is all that gives us satisfaction and we consider benevolent or positive: solutions, tranquility, security, serenity, relaxation, success, health, recognition, esteem, popularity, etc.

For this reason, advertisers make a desperate emphasis on these two principles. The next time you're watching TV, look at the ads in the middle of TV shows. Advertisers will emphasize the purchase of a product by "preventing" something bad in a explicit or implicit way ("avoid unpleasant odors with this medicinal powder", "avoid unnecessary expense by buying this multipurpose product," "avoid social rejection with this perfume or deodorant", etc.) or by "provinding" welfare ("on your new car you will be more comfortable," "consuming our new drink will make you feel happier", "buy our vacation on a Caribbean cruise and enjoy the most exciting experience of your life" etc.).

Regardless of the specific strategy advertisers use, ads always take into account the principle of pleasure and pain. When they focus on pleasure, usually often they resort to notions such as love, friendship, comfort and happiness, which are the more powerful. Take, for example, CocaCola (they promise you happiness in a bottle, not a beverage to avoid thirst).

Share your opinion: Is it more important to avoid pain or to seek pleasure?

Usually, the need to get rid of the pain is more readily available than the need to approach the pleasure. Getting rid of pain is a more passive activity and usually requires less effort (to avoid pain you can simply stay at home sleeping or sitting on a couch while in finding pleasure we may have to do a bit more).

Also, to erase the pain is more urgent for humans, since it is essential for us not to be uncomfortable. If we get to choose between "be calm" or "feel a shock," we will choose "to be calm" (and maybe, bored). But if given the choice between "run 100 meters for candy" or "be calm", most will choose to "be calm". In this case, we prefer to do nothing and avoid pain (it costs less and we can still be calm) to do something to seek pleasure (pleasure is something additional, which comes after avoiding pain, and it costs more.

As if that were not enough, to find pleasure we sometimes have to do things we do not like (exercise, study, work, learn to speak in public, to change our way of thinking, learn how to persuade, etc.) and often we must be more active than if we had simply to avoid pain. That's why a lot of people are lazy and remain in their comfort zones.

Nevertheless, pleasure is very powerful to many people and that is why they expent a lot of money in travelling, concerts, food, etc. But, you need to consider that, to seek pleasure, the fundamental condition is to be able to avoid pain effectively. In other words, you have to satisfy your most basic needs first and then go for secondary needs that offer pleasure.

Usually, marketing campaigns are more focused on what the users want to avoid if they want to buy a certain product.

Consequently, one can say that avoiding pain is the great engine of human beings.However, the most effective strategy are often those who first appeal to the principle of avoidance of pain and then reinforce his message appealing to the pleasure principle.

Personally, I think a combination of both principles is often more effective, but this really depends on the particular conditions of each person.

What do you think?

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!

#YourChangeIsNow

Basic principles of persuasion: Part 1

2015-07-16T20:21:00.000-05:00

In this new publication about persuasion, I'll set the foundations of persuasion so you can become a person capable of applying various methods of persuasion effectively. This time, I am going to mention the first basic principle:

1. Do not manipulate.

"The object of oratory alone

is not truth,

but persuasion".

Thomas Babington Macaulay

"Children should be led into the right paths,

not by severity,

but by persuasion".

Terence

¿Hablas español? Encuentra la versión original de la publicación en: Principios básicos de la persuasión: Parte 1

"Persuasion is the power to make others to think and act in a certain way. In other words, persuasion is the power of influence."

In order to develop your persuasive skills, it is necessary that you work on your social skills, your attitude and respect toward others. Behind the persuasive techniques there must be a person full of integrity and character. Otherwise, your efforts will be seen as attempts of manipulation.

1. Get rid of any kind of manipulation

The process needed to persuade and manipulate are basically the same. However, the difference lies in the intent and the results of each one.

If you want to manipulate, your intention is to benefit yourself regardless of the interests of others, which often becomes a "I win-THEY lose" relationship. The results that may be obtained from the manipulation will always be limited and small, because it implies the use lies, deceit and fraud to make others believe that everyone gains when that is not the case.

Please consider the following classic example of manipulation: advertising to sell a slimming product. Later I will explain why this type of marketing does not work in the long term.

"Through persuasion, you can make your proposals or views to be taken into account"

Some manipulative strategies used to sell a product

1. Ignorance. Advertising campaigns about weight loss products that work magically in a few days (without dieting or exercise!) are based on our ignorance of the metabolism and the mechanisms that control our body weight. In other words they take advantage of our lack of knowledge in biology and pharmaceutical issues.

2. Weak emotions. In addition, these campaigns take advantage of our emotions (our hatred for exercise and diet, our desperation to try EVERYTHING to lose weight). Therefore, they promise us a cheap, simple, fast and effective product (an easy solution to a very difficult problem) because they know we are emotionally fragile.

3. Deception. They also play with our thinking processes. They introduce an idea in our minds, change our beliefs and make us think (through false testimony, actors with a robe posing as medical and scientific data that we don't bother to corroborate) that the product is the latest wonder in medical and/or nutritional technology.

4. Distraction. As if that were not enough, to prevent us from thinking clearly, they use attractive pictures, colors and strong contrasts. They also use a fast tone of voice quick images, with a clear emphasis on the benefits of the product. In addition, the product is promoted with exaggerations, using only the advantages and establishing biased comparisons with obviously worse products that makes us think that the "new" product is significantly better when it is not the case. For example, often these "worse" products are out of market, obsolete and outdated.

5. Behavior control. As a finishing touch, they use the basic techniques of positive behavioral reinforcement ("if you buy this product you'll receive one more, totally free!") and negative behavioral punishment to prevent us from making a reasonable decision (if you do not decide fast enough, you will lose benefits (often being the case that you aren't really interested at all in those simple and useless benefits) that, causally, you can't get anywhere else: "If you are part of the first 50 calls, we give you this sensational product").

"Persuasion allows you to identify how other people think. With that knowledge, you can convince them much easier"

Disadvantages of misleading advertising

Such campaigns are at an intermediate level between manipulation and persuasion. They do not resort to control (force, fear and threat), coercion (pressure, intimidation or imposing) but they do offer a false sense of compliance (misleading incentives, benefits and rewards).

On future occasions I will discuss the lowest (literally) manipulation attempts.

Manipulation attacks from all sides, but in a dishonest way. So please, don't be manipulative and don't be fooled by manipulation strategies.

Eventually, product buyers discover the deception about these deceptive campaigns and they feel very frustrated. This is why these products are sold only once. All buyers are one-time buyers because, obviously, they never repeat the purchase.

These companies are not interested in the welfare of society, they are only interested in their personal gain. For this reason, their strategies are short-termed because the buyers of these products are going to be disappointed, they feel disrespected and become increasingly suspicious of this kind of products. Of course, they will not be loyal to the brand or the product.

"The key to successful persuasion is to make the other person feel good after making the decision to think or act a certain way"

Next time, I'm going to talk about the following principle:

2. To persuade, consider the two most basic human needs: to avoid pain and seek pleasure.

To be persuasive is to know what people want. If you do not speak to their emotions and most basic and fundamental thoughts, it will be very difficult for you to persuade anyone.

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Why persuasion is the key to sucess?

2015-05-16T13:30:00.003-05:00

Mastering the power of persuasion requires the expenditure of significant resources. Persuasion requires sacrifice. You'll have to invest resources and suppress your most immediate answers. You'll have to be patient, but it'll be worth it. In this publication, you will learn why it is so hard to persuade, but also, why it is so useful.

"Character may almost be called
the most effective means of persuasion".
Aristotle

¿Hablas español? Encuentra la versión original de la publicación en: Aplica la persuasión en tu vida diaria

1. Why is it so difficult to persuade?

1. It takes longer. Persuading takes more time, but its effects are equally more lasting.

2. You must have a positive attitude and you need to be in better control of your emotions. In order to persuade you must keep a cool head. Your emotions will have to be suppressed or expressed in a much more controlled manner.

3. You need to develop better ideas. The art of persuasion is achieved through strategic thinking. Your mind must be creative and will have to analyze and integrate large amounts of information in a very short period of time. Sometimes thinking can be tiring.

We get bored quickly and the use of conscious and specific thoughts wears us. To persuade, we need to be concentrated and we must submit our mind to a great effort. However, the benefits far outweigh this investment.

4. Laborious actions must be undertaken. Persuasion requires effective and focused actions directed at someone specific. Often, these actions will be difficult to implement, either because they are things we do not like to do or because they require too much effort on our part.

In this video you will learn 3 means of persuasion based on the ideas of Aristotle. It's a very simple but effective explanation.

"Rhetoric may be defined as the faculty
of observing in any given case
the available means of persuasion.
This is not a function of any other art".
Aristotle

"In making a speech one must study three points:
first, the means of producing persuasion;
second, the language;
third the proper arrangement of the various parts of the speech".
Aristotle

2. Why persuasion is so useful?

1. It produces certain effects on a person to influence their actions, thoughts, sensations (physiological reactions), emotions (psychological reactions) and feelings (lasting mental constructs).

2. It allow us to attract and fascinate people through the charisma we irradiate while being persuasive.

3. We can achieve a mental and emotional identification with the mood of the other, who will immediately note this connection or empathy.

4. It makes you have a special attraction to others, creating an aura of magnetism.

5. Generates a perception of reliability and acceptance of the individual using it.

Here's an expert on persuasion talking about influence and how it works

"Persuasion is often more effectual than force".
Aesop

As you can guess, the use of persuasion is a basic tool for your personal growth process. Of course, you should have a set of appropriate beliefs and you will have to optimize and maximize the effects of persuasion techniques you use with your mental attitudes.

Therefore, the mental and emotional adjustments I propose in the blog are very important. If you apply them all together, you will attain immediate changes in your life and your relationships with others will be exceptional.

A piece of advice: Do not manipulate, persuade

Attempts of manipulation, violence, domination, submission, imposition of ideas and lifestyles, brainwashing, etc., are failed attempts at persuasion. We often have good intentions but we do not know the best way to make others to do something and then we fall very easily into these coercive attempts.

Once you learn to use persuasion effectively, you won't have to resort back to negative strategies like those.

In this video you will learn how to use your voice so people want to listen to you. This is an specific example of the efforts of persuasion. To persuade others, you will need to modulate your voice and make precise adjustments, but the overall effect will be very rewarding.

"Thaw with her gentle persuasion
is more powerful than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts,
the other breaks into pieces".
Henry David Thoreau

In terms of the things we have to do to persuade someone, it will be much easier to coerce or manipulate others. This is why most of us opt for negative forms of persuasion. However, our relationships will always be affected to some extent if we take the easiest path.

"I think the power of persuasion
would be the greatest superpower of all time".
Jenny Mollen

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If case you missed it, here's an animation video about the 6 main principles of persuasion. This is the first lesson you need to master in order to be persuasive.

"Advertising is fundamentally persuasion and persuasion happens to be not a science, but an art".
William Bernbach

Motivational Movies: The Croods - Part 2

2015-04-18T20:13:00.003-05:00

In the first part of the series of two articles about the movie "The Croods", I wrote about the idea of fear and the representation of a cave in our daily lives. This time, I want to develop two ideas about the concept of risk.

1. The way risk can motivate us like nothing else in life.
2. To risk something is to win/learn something.

¿Hablas español? Encuentra la versión original de la publicación en: Inspiración de película: Los Croods

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin

Only those who will risk going too far

can possibly find out how far one can go.

T. S. Eliot

The biggest risk is not taking any risk...

In a world that is changing really quickly,

the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail

is not taking risks.

Mark Zuckerberg

The value of risk: Case study of Roger Federer

People who took big risks also won big. Unlike most, they did not believe that thinking big was going to led them to great frustrations, they were thinking about big profits.

The famous Swiss tennis player Roger Federer left school at age 16 to devote himself entirely to his passion, the sport he loved. If perhaps we knew someone who did the same as Roger Federer, we would advise him to do both things at the same time, we would tell to continue studying while attending their training; and certainly we would reject his decision to drop out, because we tend to believe that the way of the majority is the same way we must follow: we must study to get a good job and THEN we will have what we have always wanted. However, it is not the case of many current billionaires, as highlighted in this article.

We tend to believe that we need to keep everything stable: finances, studies, relationships and our personal lives. And maybe this quest for stability assures us some comfort in our lives, but it will not give us the satisfaction of fulfilling our dreams and do/be what we've always wanted.

If your dreams do not scare you, if you do not seem them as nearly impossible, you are simply dreaming of trifles and therefore you will never live the best life you can.

The greatest opportunities of our lives are hidden in places that can only be discovered if we risk a little.

A radical decision like Federer's is often frightening to most, but it was not for him. And at this point is that the great personalities differ from other mortals. Roger abandoned his studies -something that most people consider essential for success, or at least, education is thought to be one of the first fundamental steps to prevent failure- and saw himself in a very profitable situation for him: he had nothing to lose, so he could just go ahead without looking back.

From the moment he left his studies, he created an unlimited strength and a powerful motivation. He was going to devote all his energies, all his thoughts and all his efforts to something in which he firmly believed. He had a great self-confidence since the beginning and that allowed him to find the drive needed to pursue his dream with his whole being. Now, instead of being a poor, unsuccessful amateur athlete and uneducated, he is one of the best tennis players in history, or certainly, the best. In retrospect, the decision only accelerated the persecution of his true dreams.

We will never reach the best things in life if we always cling to things that are fixed and secure. We have to take risks and look for a better future.

If you are not willing to risk the unusual,

you will have to settle for the ordinary.

Jim Rohn

Risk as an opportunity to learn

Another advantage I'd rescue of risky situations and that is exemplified in "The Croods" has to do with the demands of a complicated situation. Throughout the film, the family faces tough decisions and problems that can only be overcome with intelligence and wit, usually represented in Guy's smart ideas, an adventurous and courageous boy, accustomed to the challenges of the environment. Guy is more evolved than the family of the cave, so he is able to overcome the dangers thanks to his brainpower and creativity, something the cavemen Croods lack. However, it is precisely because of the dangers he had to face (instead of passively avoid) that he is the smartest guy in the movie.

When we are facing a very difficult situation, that situation compel us to make use of our greatest acuity, imagination and/or energy to overcome the obstacles in front of us. If we always avoided the hardest moments of our lives, we would never have the opportunity to make the best of ourselves. If you're in a cave, you do not need many ideas to survive.

Likewise, if you're in a situation that you are used to, progressively you will lose the sense of novelty and challenge, and eventually, you will begin to push yourself less, until you reach a point where you do not solve problems, you do not create anything new, you do not develop your talents and abilities. In this sense, when we take risks actually we are not risking the lose of something, we are risking the gain of something. We always gain something, even though our failure of the main goal. We gain experience, ideas and maturity. The risk is learning, it is not loss.

Avoid repentance and commit yourself to not miss opportunities that come your way for fear of risking.

I would like you to think about the great opportunities that you let pass because of your belief in staying safe and warm in your cave, because you did not risk losing something to win a little. Maybe you let pass a relationship, a job with better payment, a chance to study, etc. However, you don't need to go that far, perhaps in a class at your college or university you risked not to give your opinion, and bacause you stayed silent no one was able to recognize you as a witty or intelligent person.

So please now think about those times when you risked something. Maybe while playing soccer with friends you risked to make a spectacular play that aroused the admiration of all spectators or maybe at work you had an opinion that was very good received by your bosses. Why not risk more often, then?

Remember that it is forbidden to give up, breathe deeply and keep going!

Fear stifles our thinking and actions.

It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation.

I have known talented people who procrastinate indefinitely rather than risk failure.

Lost opportunities cause erosion of confidence,

and the downward spiral begins.

Charles Stanley

In what moments did you lost great opportunities because of your lack of courage?
Would you like to share an experience where you took risks that led you to a good result?
Have you watched "The Croods" and do want to share your own opinions about the film?
Your comments will be welcomed.

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Motivational Movies: The Croods - Part 1

2015-04-18T20:02:00.001-05:00

The Croods is a movie about a prehistoric family that uses a strategy of risk avoidance to survive as long as possible. Basically, the family is limited to hunt and hide in a cave. However, one day the cave is destroyed and the family is forced to travel and face many dangers in order to preserve the life of its members.

In this mindset, for example, you will not want to take a risk like changing a feature of your personality because you fear failure and you don't want to wear yourself down.

Putting aside the fantasy and the entertaining comedy of this movie, I think the lessons it offers are important ones. "The Croods" at the beginning of the film, exemplify a type of belief very harmful for us. This belief is the idea that once you have reached a comfortable position in your life, the best you can do from there is to preserve that situation, avoiding risks and dangerous decisions at all costs.

For example, once you've defined your personality and your interests, this belief dictates that you must try to keep the benefits and ignore your weaknesses. Similarly, if you have a good job or if you are happy with your study conditions and current housing, you focus on the comforts and the advantages of those situations. This way, little by little, you start to settle and the fear of losing all that stuff becomes very powerful, so you won't try anything new, and you will start to avoid opportunities that involve risks.

In other words, you find a comfortable cave and you cling to it. Your expectations and your goals begin to slowly rotate around that comfort zone: your cave.

In a situation like this, you start to talk to yourself in a conformist way. You say to yourself that after all, your personality is a very good one and it's OK to have some deficiencies. Of course, nobody is perfect, it is fine to have some flaws. Besides, you are happy with who you are, and the people who are around are also comfortable with your personality.

In this thinking process, you are self-limiting because it is easier for you to save your efforts in trying to remove a defect (and maybe make a fool in front of others). It is easier because you won't suffer the emotional effects of failure and you won't lose your time and energy. Anyway, "others have to accept the way you are".

Even when you want something new in your life, the fear of failure limits you. You need to be sure that things will go just right. As if you were Tarzan in the jungle: You have to grab a vine before releasing the other. You have to always be in an area without hazard, without risk. That way you think you can move slowly but safely.

Psychology has found that when we take risks our fear of losing is stronger than our expectation of obtaining some profit. This means that we prefer not to lose the little we have instead of taking unnecessary risks and losing even what we do not have. This is the case of "The Croods". To them, fear is good because it makes them to always step on firm ground, and to always limit their goals to only those things that involve minimal risk.

Fear, in these cases, is a life strategy. It drives our decisions and the way we live. Ultimately, as the Croods thought at the beginning of the movie, it costs a lot to take risks. It costs a lot to face difficult chasms. We're fine as we are. The only thing that would force us to move back and find new things is when our cave completely destroyed, as in the film, otherwise we will do everything in our power to continue in the same path.

We believe that risk-takers are less rational, who can not properly evaluate the pros and cons of a decision that involves uncertainty and possible irreparable damage. We even may think that these people are disorganized, that they do not know what they want, that they are not able to enjoy what they already have because they always want more and therefore lose great opportunities and benefits.

Well, it may be so in the case of some people, but we are forgetting that these people also have some virtues that should learn, like courage and bravery, which involves the inevitable act of launching ourselves into the unknown.

You can read a slighlity different version of this post, in spanish, here: Inspiración de película: Los Croods

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Believe in yourself: Keys to develop self-confidence - Part 2

2015-03-22T18:34:00.001-05:00

In this post, I give continuation to the first part of the introduction of the topic about self-confidence. You can find the first part of the series at: Believe in yourself: Keys to develop self-confidence - Part 1 and also you can find a slightly different version of the post translated to spanish at: Cree en ti mismo: Claves para desarrollar auto-confianza

The dangers of a poorly developed self-confidence

When we don't believe in ourselves, we gradually lose control of ourselves, we abandon our healthy and productive habits, we lose our security about ourselves and we neglect our personal growth, we begin to become weak and perhaps we will devote ourselves in believing in stronger people that will always tell us what to do and how to it. We become dependent.

If we continue like this, soon we will be in total despair. We will begin to feel unfairly treated by "life". We will develop a extraordinary capacity for excuse making, for putting ourselves in the place of the victim and thus begin to avoid our responsibilities.

We will complain, we will feel angry and we will feed our frustration with envy towards anyone who doesn't act, think or feel as us.

At this point, we will be unable to learn from our mistakes and we will be focused on what we do not have and all we need to be fully satisfied with ourselves. Laziness will invade our lifestyle and perhaps we will focus on trivial tasks: sleeping, eating, organizing and cleaning our room, watching TV, talking with our friends, etc.

In the end, our confidence will be completely destroyed. We will be unable to take risks and we will always go for the guaranteed thing, ignoring valuable opportunities because of the fear of criticism, rejection and/or failure.

Why do I describe all of this?

Well, because these are the signs you should not overlook if you lack a good level of self-confidence. Pay attention to all these things and quickly identify if your lack of self-confidence is deteriorating even more. And stop it!

If you have any of these features, please do not think it is because is a normal feature in yourself. These characteristics are part of a damaged self-confidence and need to be treated properly.

Do not blame fate. Do not protect yourself under the comfortable idea that things "were not made for me".

It is very difficult to get rid of many of these strings, so the sooner you do, the easier it will be for you to regroup and take back control of your life.

Many people have the skills necessary for success, but simply lack confidence in their ability use those skills under specific conditions, for example, under pressure. Thus, in the most inappropriate time, we begin to doubt ourselves and our doubts break our concentration, cause indecision weakens our performance.

Once we begin to doubt ourselves, even if we have the necessary skills, we focus on our weaknesses and pay attention to everything except what we are doing.

Often, our lack of confidence in these cases only compromises a particular skill, but this situation may overflow and reach other skills.

My message to you is: criticize and inflict yourself psychological pain through negative self-talk will have no positive effects on your confidence. The way professionals and athletes boost their confidence is through a series of mental exercises designed in a positive way.

This may sound a bit simple to you, but a phrase like "I can do it!" is far more effective that saying in your mind "I suck at this. Today is not my day. I'm doing it all wrong, etc."

Speak positively about yourself.
Think positively about yourself.
Pay attention to the positive things people say about you.
Feel positive and work on your self esteem.

Finally, I want you to watch this video about confidence is our self-image. Meaghan Ramsey: Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you

About 10,000 people a month Google the phrase, “Am I ugly?” Meaghan Ramsey of the Dove Self-Esteem Project has a feeling that many of them are young girls. In a deeply unsettling talk, she walks us through the surprising impacts of low body and image confidence—from lower grade point averages to greater risk-taking with drugs and alcohol. And then shares the keys things all of us can to disrupt this reality.

Do you think you do not need to have a great confidence to achieve growth as a person? Would you say that trust is something that is built during the process of change or is it something we have to achieve first in order to change something in us? Would you like more information about any topic discussed here? Leave me a comment!

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Believe in yourself: Keys to develop self-confidence - Part 1

2015-03-17T18:44:00.001-05:00

One of the central topics of this blog will be confidence. Without it, it is impossible to begin to transform yourself into a better person, since failure and criticism will be severely hurt if you lack a robust confidence in yourself.

You can find the spanish version of this article at: Cree en ti mismo: Claves para desarrollar auto-confianza

Believe in yourself and the others will believe in you too.

Self-confidence, succinctly defined by psychologists, is the belief that you can successfully perform a specific behavior. In short, to believe in yourself is to be sure that you will achieve something, it is to be sure about our own abilities.

"Believe in yourself" we are told frequently. However, that phrase wanders through our brain without being fully understood. We automatically assent to the sentence but we are unable to discern what it is really telling us. What does 'believe in yourself' mean and why it "seems" to be so important?

One of the main problems of people who want to change some aspect of their lives is that they DO NOT have the necessary confidence in themselves to be able to carry out the required actions to achieve their goals.

Moreover, confidence in yourself is essential know who you are, especially when you want to change something and you must face your old habits and your old way thinking so that you can do things differently and really accept things you have to do to change.

Without self-confidence, it will be impossible to reach your full potential.

Kill the negative thoughts and the extreme self-vigilance

I have always believed that our own mind is the field with the more arduous battle in our lives, the most intense battle we have to endure is against ourselves, against that part of ourselves that do not want to change, against that part in ourselves that is comfortable with what you already know -good or bad- and just want to go on with that illusion called comfort zone, against that part of ourselves that do not want to face the sacrifice and effort required to do something different.

Our mind is our most dangerous enemy. The dialogue with ourselves is the hardest examination you have to endure in your whole life because it is a voice that can never be silent.

It is a voice that is always telling ourselves what we should or should not do, what we should or should not avoid and not allowing ourselves to think about what we're doing to change.

It is a extremely vigilance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and when you do not have the proper self-confidence, such monitoring will easily go against you and will materialize in emotions that can play you some nasty tricks.

Do not let your mind tell you that you're inappropriate. Search for the positive thoughts in your own mind.

Do not let emotions cloud your self-judgement

Emotions are the key to building our self-confidence and to persevere in the goals we want to achieve. Any kind of criticism, judgment or doubt (internal or external) begins to take its toll on our emotions and creates anxieties that tell us what we are not and what we lack. If we succumb to our own negative emotions, shame and self-pity will eventually sabotage our self-confidence.

This way, we develop feelings of being unhelpful, unable to do things. We start to feel like losers, not worthy of any good. We feel mediocre, clumsy and incompetent. Soon these harmful feelings begin to transcend our own territory and began to project to others without being noticed, which feeds the vicious cycle of negativity that we cultivated.

If we allow that those emotions and harmful thoughts hurt ourselves, we will begin to act on these feelings and thoughts, which will make that the snowball of self-inflicted injury hurt us even more.

Having a poor self-confidence will damage your motivation.

So, my advices to you are these:

1. Self-confidence is not some magic feature that some of us have and some of us don't. We all need self-confidence and we all have it in a specific amount.

2. Your mind is your most dangerous enemy. If you let bad thoughts to run freely on your mind, your self-confidence will be severed.

3. You need to know yourself to develop self-confidence. You need to have a deep knowledge about your strenghts and weaknesses.

4. Control your self-talk. Say positive things to yourself. If you do not want to say something positive in a certain moment, be silent in your mind.

5. Emotions are the most important aspect of self-confidence. Do not judge yourself based on emotions. Try to be more objective and wait patiently until your emotions are settled to establish some minimun level of internal criticism about what you are doing wrong. Learn from your mistakes, not from your emotions. Do not listen to your emotions when you have a poor self-confidence. This will bury your self-esteem and your self-confidence. Use the rational part of your mind until you achieve more confidence.

Finally, I will leave you with this TEDx Conference entitled "The skill of self confidence" by Dr. Ivan Joseph

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Motivation for success: Uncomfortable vs exhaustion (Video)

2015-03-15T09:44:00.000-05:00

Motivational Speaker: Jaret Grossman
Below is Jaret working his butt off to get back in wresting shape after he was forced to take some time off due to injuries.

So you want to be successful huh?
Well there is one thing is this world that has the ability to change our whole life in an instant.
You know what it is, its ACTION!
So first step, you just need to make a decision.

Ask yourself this, a year from now, five years from now, what are you going to wish you did today?
The secret to getting ahead in this world, is first getting started.
You can't let FEAR stand in the way of your DREAMS!
You cannot think "Oh what if this doesn't work".
If you believe enough in the PROCESS and the END RESULT, success is going to come to you!
It will.
You just have to be willing to see it through to the END!

But first you just have to jump in the DEEP END!
Once something goes into motion, it stays in motion.

The process itself feeds the fire, you can't be trapped by FEAR!

Limits like FEARS, they are ILLUSIONS, disregard them.
If your passionate about it and you go full throttle, there is no doubt, you're going to be good at it.
Because what makes someone good at something?
Its dedication, hard work and doing it with the proper direction and methodology.
So if you plug away, you're going to be good.

But what makes someone a professional at something?
It's the concept of taking that little idea, that little decision you make and executing to take it as far as your imagination holds.

Dedicating every breath in your body, to that single cause.
Seeing the grand picture at the end of the road, TO BE THE ABSOLUTE BEST and not settling for any reason.

It's not talent, it's not innate ability, it simply comes down to how hungry you are!
How hungry are you to improve?
How BIG is your appetite for success?
What are you willing to do to reach your dreams?

The professionals, the best at their craft, they don't care about the naysayers, they don't care about the fun they're foregoing. They don't take days off, they are 100% set in their ways of perfecting their craft!

Because it's all for a much larger purpose than any semblance of immediate gratification provides.
Reaching your goal, well that's just pure bliss!
The higher the expectations, the larger the goal, well the feeling just magnifies!
So what is the difference between you and them?

The professionals, they are the ones who are willing to knock on the doors of complete exhaustion, every single day.

Now let me define exhaustion for you...exhaustion is at that very point, where it is so damn painful that you just can't push anymore.
That it hurts so bad, you can't even think straight.

It's in reaching that point, that deep down, you know you did absolutely everything in your power.
That there wasn't one more thing you could have done.

So what's the difference between them and you?
What are you doing at this very moment in time?
Ask yourself this...are you moving closer towards your goals?
Or are you moving farther away from them?
Are you knocking on those doors of exhaustion, or are you just uncomfortable?

You see, being uncomfortable is NOT exhaustion.
Being uncomfortable is your mind quitting before your body.
Being uncomfortable is just saying no to trying again.

Achieving greatness happens when you're willing to do something that will kill you just to make you better.

You see, it's easier to buy the ticket to see the game, than it is to be the one to prepare for it.
It's easier to hang out with your friends than it is to hang with the stairs for an hour.
It's easier to sleep in than it is to wake up and do a hundred sprints.
It's easier to go to a party than it is to go ass to the grass in the squats.
It's easier to watch athletes from the couch, than it is to be the one hoisting the trophy.

But it's also a lot easier to look back on your life and know you gave it your all, than it is to live with
regrets.

Not living up to your potential, well that weighs on your shoulders for a lifetime.

No one ever said that being successful was going to be easy.
But I'll tell you one thing, it sure as hell is worth it!
You are your own maker in this world and there is no such thing as failure.

You just have to tell it NO!

Not this time, not with me! I'm gonna try again and again and again and I'm gonna look failure straight
in the face, and I'm gonna tell it that I'm willing to go through all the struggles to reach my dreams!

Because without struggle, there is never going to be any progress.

It's all in HOW BAD YOU WANT IT!
How BIG is your appetite for SUCCESS?
Do you just want to fight?
Or are you out there STARVING for it?

STAY EMPTY!
STAY DRIVEN!
STAY HUNGRY!

You can find the video with spanish subtitles and the translation of the text in spanish at: Vídeo Motivacional: Trabaja hasta el agotamiento

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Your Change Is Now Music: No Hay Dolor (There's No Pain) - Zoé

2015-03-11T21:36:00.000-05:00

Find the spanish version of this post at

Música para sentirse bien: No hay dolor - Zoé

I want to share with you a new section of the blog in which I'll be posting songs from all genres and generations. It will be called "Your Change Is Now Music" and with this series I want to make you feel better everyday.

This music will change your attitude, will motivate you, will make you think profoundly or simply will make you feel more positive and peaceful.

To inaugurate this new space I decided to share one of my favorite songs. It is "No Hay Dolor" by the Mexican band "Zoé". This song makes me feel good despite my problems and difficulties and allows me to focus on the simple but important things in life. I invite you to listen and share your emotions with all readers of the blog.

The song is sung in spanish, but you can learn some spanish with the translation of the song at the end of the post.

Recommend me inspiring songs!

Title: No Hay Dolor
Artist: Zoé
Genre: Space Rock - Indie Rock
Duration: 00:03:13
Album: Reptilectric
Track: 4
Year: 2008

Vamos a levantar un vuelo cósmico
Vamos a alimentar la fuente de poder
Para sentirse bien, para sentir mejor
Vamos a remover el velo tóxico

Como si fuera el último día
De nuestra vida

No hay dolor, no hay dolor, no hay dolor, no hay dolor

Vamos a levitar, vamos a transmutar
Hacer el amor con el misterio
Para sentirse bien, para sentir mejor
Vamos remover el velo tóxico

Despertaré, es solo un sueño

No hay dolor, no hay dolor, no hay dolor, no hay dolor

TRANSLATION

There's no pain

Let's go and raise up
A cosmic flight.
Let's go and feed
The power source.

To feel good,
To feel better.
Let's go and remove the toxic veil.

As if it were the last day of our life.

There's no pain
There's no pain
There's no pain
There's no pain (X4)

Let's go and levitate.
Let's go and transmute.
Make some love to the mystery.
To feel good,
To feel better.
Let's go and remove the toxic veil.

Let's wake up now. It's just a dream.

There's no pain
There's no pain
There's no pain
There's no pain (X4)

(Toxic girl, toxic love) (X3)

If you like Zoé, check out other songs by the mexican band:

Nada
Nada (feat. Enrique Bunbury)
No Me Destruyas
Reptilectric
Paula
Dead
Vía Láctea

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Are you in a good relationship? - Part 1

2015-03-08T09:35:00.000-05:00

In a previous publication I mentioned how important it was to use persuasion in our relationships. This time I will provide other tools that will allow you to develop more fulfilling relationships.

Specifically, I will discuss these five things you should keep in mind for self improvement and growth to also spread to your partner and your romantic relationship:

1. Learn from your partner
2. Recognize her/his strengths
3. Recognize her/his point of view
4. Be interested in the most important people in the life of your partner
5. Create opportunities for fun.

For now, I will address these issues in a very general and schematic way, but I will dedicate future occasions to go deeper into each of these aspects, especially those ones perceived as more fundamental and/or complex. Your comments will enable me to identify the points that you consider the most important (and perhaps the most difficult) in relationships.

A partner will change our lives in very helpful ways if we are able to accept the challenge of abandoning little habits, behaviors and ways of thinking and feeling that are ingrained in us.

1. Learn from your partner

One of the most important features of any relationship is the ability to adapt, learn and change. For this reason, I wanted to mention this quality first. Our first commitment in a long-term relationship is transformation.

The first thing to need to acknowledge in a relationship, is that you are going to change. You'll have to do it if you want to form a stable, committed relationship. Your partner will demand it constantly, and you have to be prepared to do so without violating your principles but, at the same time, without being intransigent or complacent.

Finding the balance between what you must preserve and what you need to leave behind in a relationship is complicated, but with the right effort, you can develop this skill over time.

For now, you must be willing to learn from your partner because this is the easiest way to change. This way you create a stronger connection with your significant other (SO) and, by adopting similar patterns of behavior and thought, you are developing the ability to see things from her/his point of view. You're learning to understand her/him.

Even if your partner does not explicitly recognize this, over time she/he will notice that you have adopted ways of being and behaving similar to her/his, at least in some way.

Of course, some changes can be deliberate and conscious, but many occur unconsciously in every relationship.

This will create strong and lasting ties in the relationship, so do not worry if you think you are losing a part of yourself. Instead, you will be more sensitive to the social and personal conditions of your SO and this will give you a lot of satisfaction in the future. In addition, it will provide very positive feelings to your partner and this will be a sign that you are on the right track.

"1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas and I had the privilege to meet you".

You can not remain the same while building the foundation of your relationship.

2. Recognize her/his strengths

This is an extension of the first idea and is also a convenient way to adjust to the change I'm mentioning. While this may sound obvious to most, let me tell you it is not. In many relationships, its members are not able to recognize their partner, they always want to be on the dominant side (which should not exist) of the relationship. They want to be the smartest, strongest, most capable, etc. And they will do everything possible to achieve this twisted goal.

Often, this interest to appear (it really is just an appearance) the most authoritative or outstanding member of the relationship doesn't allow us to recognize the other and it lead us to omit or degrade the capabilities of the other member of the relationship. Of course, this is a fundamental error derived from pride and is one of the aspects that rapidly deteriorate relationships of all kinds.

Once you abandon the need for control and dominance in your relationship, you will recognize that it is much healthier because you begin to notice that your partner has positive features worthy of being exalted.

To accomplish this, start thinking carefully about all these features. Does your partner has very good ideas?, is she/he usually very creative?, is she/he relaxed and oriented towards positive things?, is she/he a risk taker?, does she/he like to take the initiative?, is she/he balanced emotionally?, does she/he have a good sense of humor?, etc.

There are many questions that you can think about; although it is important that you recognize her/his skills, you must be able to communicate this recognition implicitly and explicitly. Perhaps an unexpected note, a letter or an occasional comment are strategies you can add to your repertoire to accomplish this.

Putting ourselves above our partner is usually reinforced socially -directly and indirectly- when people ask things like "Who is the boss in the relationship?" Please do not fall for this trick question and make sure that your partner doesn't fall for it either.

3. Recognize her/his point of view

I mention this aspect in third place because it is connected to the previous point, but also because it is one of the most difficult achievements to be attained in a relationship. The intransigence, stubbornness, selfishness and power struggles prevent disputes to be resolved faster and easier than they should.

Often, people recognize that their partners are right, but to accept this fact and communicate it explicitly to that person is usually a challenge that most people can not overcome.

Once power struggles, desires of domination and resistance to change our way of thinking, feeling and acting in a relationship are abandoned, the relationship will be more balanced and it will be prepared to reach a level of harmony that few couples possess.

Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuse these things with love, but in reality, LOVE is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.

Of course, it feels good to be right. It feels good to win an argument and make others adopt our views. The problem arises when this interest is above the mutual well-being in a relationship.

4. Be interested in the most important people in the life of your partner

When you start a relationship, you enter one of the most exclusive circles of people in your family and your first duty is to know who those people are. For this reason, you will receive invitations to have lunch with their parents, go out with friends or meet your partner's coworkers or classmates.

Surely, you are going to make these invitations too. So you must be consistent with this fact. You must do your best to establish a good relationship with these people. It is not a secret that the success of the relationship is partly determined by the opinion that the people who are part of that select circle of your partner have on you.

Because of this, I present three mandatory questions you should be able to answer if you comply fully with this point.

1. Who is your partner's best female friend? Name one positive quality of this person from your own point of view.
2. Who is your partner's best male friend? Mention an unforgettable moment that this person has had with your partner.
3. Name the three major qualities and the three major shortcomings of each of the parents of your partner according with your own perspective of them.

Do not just be polite and friendly with the most important people in the life of your partner. Try to get a little more involved. Use every interaction to show why your partner has chosen you.

5. Create opportunities for fun.

A relationship is a space to relax, to relieve stress and to have fun. Sometimes couples focus solely on responsibilities, appointments, obligations, disagreements and mutual defects and forget to have fun with some good laughs. This is a fundamental point that many people overlook because they fail to recognize its importance.

Gradually, those special moments to relax are forgotten and the most serious aspects of the relationship consume almost the relationship in its entirety. This can have a profound and negative impact in the long term because the relationship will wear out very quickly.

Do not forget that one of the reasons you have chosen to be in a relationship is because that person entertains you, makes you forget the problems and gives you happiness. Learn to enjoy that and make it a priority in your relationship.

This is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, rainbows to follow the clouds, smiles when sadness intrudes, faith so that you can believe, sunsets to warm your heart, laughter to kiss your lips, courage to know yourself, hugs when spirits sag, patience to accept the truth, beauty for your eyes to see, confidence for when you doubt, friendships to brighten your being and LOVE to complete your life.

Emotional maturity of the relationship (and the ability to create opportunities for fun) is tested when both are able to make fun of themselves, create funny nicknames for each other, laugh at their words and actions and fiddling with small things without ever bothering or take it too seriously.

In an upcoming post, I will discuss another five ways that will help you determine if you have a good relationship. If your fail the test, you should consider to work on these aspects for building a healthy relationship.

Share with other readers your impressions about this post and discuss which of these 5 points are weak or strong in your own relationship and why. If you consider yourself an expert in one or more of these points, tell us how you did it.

Find the spanish version of this post at: Sugerencias para tener una relación de pareja sana: Parte 1

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

What can really motivate you to exercise? Find out with this quiz

2015-02-19T23:22:00.003-05:00

One of the first things that should be clear in your mind about exercising is why you want to do it. So I need to ask yourself exactly what you want to achieve with exercise. If you think you do not want to achieve anything in particular, I would like you to begin to wonder why you think it would be good to exercise. For now, focus on the benefits (later we will discuss the costs of exercise and why it's worth the effort).

With some psychological literature, I have designed the following questionnaire for you to begin to identify the reasons why you like -or would like- to exercise. This will help you to know which things can motivate you more when you do not feel like exercising.

Self-report of motives and attitudes towards physical exercise

Below are a number of reasons and beliefs that most people have about physical activity in all its forms (like leisure, like exercise, like sport). Read each statement carefully and answer in what extent each motive or attitude is true -or would be true if you were to practice exercise- specifically for you. Please note that there are no right or wrong answers.

Answer as honestly as possible and make sure you have available at least ten minutes to think every answer calmly.

If you consider an item not to be true in your case or if you strongly disagree with the statement, rate the statement with 1. If you think that the reason or statement given is completely true for you or if you totally agree with that statement, qualify the statement with 5. If you believe that reason is only true in part or almost nothing, then qualify the statement with 2 if you disagree, 3 if you are unsure and 4 if you agree.

1: Totally disagree
2: Disagree
3: Unsure
4: Agree
5: Totally agree

At the end of each set of questions, summarize your qualifications for the total score of each of the five groups of questions.

Anatomical-functional and aesthetic reasons

I have practiced, practice or want to practice physical activity to:

1. Improve my performance in sports.
2. Improve my physical appearance and/or stay thin.
3. Look younger.
4. Be more agile.
5. Maintain/increase my endurance.
6. Maintain/increase flexibility.
7. Recover from an illness or injury.
8. Burn calories.
9. Grow muscle.
10. Become stronger.

Interpersonal reasons

I have practiced, practice or want to practice physical activity:

1. To spend time with friends.
2. To enjoy the social aspects of exercise.
3. To obtain some kind of recognition, specially when I surpass myself.
4. To have fun exercising with others
5. To be as healthy as I have fun with others.

6. Because I like meeting new people and environments and I think one of the advantages of practicing physical activity is to know more people.
7. Because I think the practice of physical activity can help me relate to others.
8. Because I like -or I would like- to practice physical activity accompanied by someone.
9. Because I like doing physical activity with others to motivate myself to work harder.
10. Because I think that if I do physical activity with others it will bore me less.

Health reasons

I have practiced, practice or want to practice physical activity:

1. Because the doctor has advised me to do so.
2. To prevent a particular disease (which happens a lot in my family) and/or to prevent heart problems
3. To control my weight.
4. To develop a balanced lifestyle and keep my body healthy.

5. Because I believe that, at my age, the effects of having a sedentary lifestyle can become serious and I think that a sedentary lifestyle really is bad for me.
6. Because I believe that there are good chances to develop a serious disease because of a sedentary lifestyle.
7. Because I worry about people who have had serious health complications for being sedentary and I don't want to be one of them.
8. Because I have heard about the harmful effects of a sedentary lifestyle and I am willing to practice physical activity regularly to avoid them.
9. Because I think that if I practice physical activity I will have less risks of developing certain diseases that are alarming for me.
10. Because I think that a sedentary life facilitates the development of bad habits and eating disorders.

Self-improvement reasons

I have practiced, practice or want to practice physical activity:

1. To prove myself.
2. To show others what I'm worth.
3. To get to do things that others can not do.
4. Because I like to compare my skills with others.
5. Because I enjoy facing and overcoming challenges.
6. Because I like to have some goals for which to strive.
7. Because I like or I would try to win by doing so.

8. Because I like -or I would like- to follow a schedule of physical activities performed.
9. Because I would like to be able to practice regular physical activity (150 minutes per week) for at least six months.
10. Because I have practiced -or practice- physical activity even though I think I have no time or I'm very busy and I like that feeling of acomplishment (or I would like to feel that).

Enjoyment reasons

I have practiced, practice or want to practice physical activity:

1. As a means of escape from the everyday.
2. To reduce everyday stress.
3. Because it makes me feel good about myself.
4. Because it gives me time to think about everything -or nothing-.
5. Because I like the feeling that I have when I exercise and/or because it seems fun to me.
6. Because it gives me energy and helps me to recharge batteries.
7. Because it makes me feel satisfied.

8. Because I feel sad when I can not organize my time to practice physical activity.
9. Because it bothers me when I can not be physically active for a long period of time.
10. Because, before, during and/or after physical activity I feel happy.

We are going to assume that if you have a score above 25 in a particular group of questions, your attitudes and beliefs regarding that aspect of physical activity may be a motivating factor for you.

Without attempting to impose the reasons that you should have for exercise, but rather, based on your own ideas about exercise, I say to you now: You can begin your road to transformation.

And well, what aspects of exercise motivates you the most?
Leave a comment and share your test results!

Find the spanish version of the test at: ¿Qué te puede motivar realmente a hacer ejercicio? Descúbrelo con este cuestionario

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

The best 5 tricks to improve your vocabulary

2015-02-11T19:52:00.001-05:00

One forgets words as one forgets names.
One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing
or it will die.
Evelyn Waugh

Loving your language
means a command of its vocabulary
beyond the level of the everyday.
John McWhorter

The most important thing
is to read as much as you can,
like I did.
It will give you an understanding
of what makes good writing
and it will enlarge your vocabulary.
J. K. Rowling

Having a large vocabulary will always be useful in the different dimensions of our lives, especially those having to do with our profession or studies. The amount of knowledge you can acquire (and the speed at which you acquire this knowledge) increases when you are able to understand and use new words in both your native language and in other languages.

If you need to write and read or if you need to constantly acquire new information (eg, in your university studies) certainly, having a large vocabulary will be very beneficial. In one sentence, you'll do it faster and you'll do it better.

In this post I want to compile a series of recommendations that can be useful for you to improve your vocabulary, even if you are learning another language. I will be adding new strategies as I find them. If you know any that is not included, I will be happy to read your comment.

1. Read a lot

This is the most popular recommendation. But usually no one tell us what to read and how. So let me clarify some points:

Read about various topics

Usually people do not consider this point and just read about the things they like. Although you can learn a little, your vocabulary will be quite restricted. Over time, your vocabulary will indeed, increase, but in a small proportion.

Diversify your reading, read on all subjects, both those that are more common for you and those that do not. Read fun facts, scientific or technological advances, celebrity news, etc.

If you've always wanted to learn about something really interesting, but you never did it, this is your chance, think of the new words that you can use when you speak or write.

Read different genres and different types of texts

Read academic texts, read blogs and literature. These types as different text will help you learn different styles and will teach you varied words.

Again, do not limit yourself to one type of text.

However, if you don't have much time, reading poetry is the most effective method. Poets strive to use different, striking and sonorous words, and in my experience as a reader, I have not found greater diversity of words in any other texts.

Do not try to guess words from their context

This is a bad strategy for at least two reasons:

First, some words can mean different things in different contexts. In other words, most words have a unique context. For example, the term "yield" can be used as verb or noun. As a verb, it means to give, but also means producing (two whole different things).

Second, the words you guess contextually do not stay on your head. You never learn them. You will never use them because you do not know what they mean, the only thing you do with this strategy is to get rid of the dictionary. You'll temporary understand what you read or hear, but nothing more.

2. Learn words by categories and groupings

Do not try to learn words at random. Try to organize and connect them together, this will help you memorize faster and better.

Think about the words you learn as part of a group.

Learn words by contexts and common places

For example, learn the words that have to do with the country, the fullness and joy of spring: romp, frond, bucolic, bud, zephyr, fertile, glare, flock, chrysalis, orchard, primrose, alleluia, etc.

Since we just passed January, we can think of words about the start or beginning of things and events as: novice, preliminary, genesis, prelude, firstborn, premise, preface, threshold, neophyte, initiate, novel, scoop, pristine, cosmogony, premature, newborn, lintel, etc.

How many words of the above groups you can recognize? How many you can define?

Group them by themes

By areas of study such as psychology, literature, engineering, etc.
Interests, sports, nutrition, technology, etc.

Group them by synonyms and antonyms

Do not settle for the words you already know, try to think in similar ways of saying the same thing. If you always say everything is great, try to use other words like fantastic, fabulous, spectacular, wonderful, awesome, amazing, wonderful, etc.

If you always tell your best friend that he/she is a fool, also you can say slow, idiot, dumb, stupid, moron, goofy, poult, bland, blockhead, dunce, etc. Hey, I'm not encouraging you to treat people badly, but at least you can diversify how you say things.

The idea is to think about common words and try to translate them to synonyms not so common.

3. Use notepads and sticky notes

Carry a small notebook and write down the new words you learn. Write not only its meaning. Make sentences with them.

Use sticky notes with the same purpose.

It is important that you put in use these new words, and you must do it frequently. Try to use new words at least three times a day. Your vocabulary has to be active and not merely passive. The passive vocabulary are those words that you understand but do not use. The active vocabulary are those words that you can use when you want, because it's already in your head, stored, categorized, defined and ready for you to use in the appropiate.

Do not settle to the understanding alone. Use the new words you learn everyday. You don't have to feel shame or embarrassment. If your listeners do not understand, define the word and make it possible for them to use the new words they learn from you.

Another alternative is to use a calendar of words. A calendar of words is a calendar that gives you a new word every day of the year. Earlier in the day, you focus on the word and try to use it as many times as you can in that day.

4. Practice (by writing and playing)

Write often. Write messages birthdays and other celebrations in a more elaborate way. Write stories. Write some poems. Try to write a novel.

Write your opinion about a specific topic. Create a blog, for example. Always try to use precise words for the exact things you want to communicate.

Play with puzzles and word games. Crosswords often bring unfamiliar words, as their creators need to include atypical words to fit with the rest of the words. Play Scrabble, Boggle, Cranium and any similar games.

5. Learn suffixes and prefixes

This is the best recommendation EVER!. Many words are composed of roots and endings that give meaning to the rest of the sentence. For example, if you have gastritis, the ending "itis" means an inflammation. The termination ITIS will always mean the same.

The most useful suffixes for me are the greek ones; but I think that prefixes are more important.

6. Learn Latin and Greek (optional)

Vulgar Latin led to many existing languages currently known as Romance languages. If you learn Latin, you will understand the roots of many languages -such as Spanish, French and Italian- and it will be much easier to learn new words.

You can find the spanish version of this article at: 5 consejos para aumentar tu vocabulario

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
Please share #YourChangeIsNow so I can publish more often

What is persuasion and what it can do for your life?

2015-02-08T09:26:00.001-05:00

"Persuasion is often more effectual than force."

Aesop

"The triumph of persuasion over force

is the sign of a civilized society."

Mark Skousen

"Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful

than Thor with his hammer.

The one melts,

the other breaks into pieces."

Henry David Thoreau

"I think the power of persuasion

would be the greatest superpower of all time".

Jenny Mollen

Our enthusiasm, effort and knowledge have to always be focused on establishing quality relationships with others. After all, people are our priority in life. Our entire life, welfare and success depend on others. For this reason, you should spend much of your time and resources on learning skills that can substantially improve your social relationships.

You should learn how to persuade others.

Persuasion is a skill that we must cultivate because it gives us the ability to influence others in a lasting way. Therefore, I want to devote a good part of this blog to talk about persuasion. I will connect you to the best online resources and I will also use my formation as a psychologist and my working experience as a clinical psychologist to help you learn how to persuade people.

If you learn and apply the tools I'll give you in this series, you will improve your professional, academic, social, emotional and personal life. I assure you.

If you are interested in getting others to think or act in a certain way, persuasion is your best choice.

Induce beliefs and values on others to influence their thoughts and actions

Basically, we all want to be trusted, we all want to be listened and we all want others to appreciate our way of thinking. We want our our views and opinions to be taken into account. We want people to accept our ideas and proposals. In conclusion, we want others to think what we think and to do what we want. With persuasion you can achieve these results while you make people closer to you.

Be smart. Decide once and for all to use persuasion in your life:

If you have authority over someone, please do not threaten him/her to punish or fire him/her if he/she does not do what you want, how you want it and when you want it. Offer him an incentive. Appeal to his/her motivations.

Begin to learn basic rules and principles of persuasion. Here's a simple way to start and get familiar with the subject:

With persuasion, others will follow you voluntarily and they will be willing to do what you ask them.

Use your brain and clear emotions out of your head.

If you want your child to do something, do not try to force him/her to obey you with punishments, verbal violence, or even physical violence. Try to understand what he/she wants and find a way to establish an agreement with him/her. Be strategic and think about the results.

The benefits to persuade outweigh the challenges you will face in the process of learning to be persuasive.

Do not rush to express what bothers you. Do not focus on making complaints because people get tired very easily and they will be less inclined to do what you want.

If you have a partner and you want more attention on his/her part, think of those cases in which he/she pays attention voluntarily or selflessly and analyze how and why he/she does it. This way you will find a way to persuade and at the same time you will avoid frustrations and resentment.

The following video clearly illustrates the 6 fundamental principles of persuasion, backed up by science:

"Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?" That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires".
Dale Carnegie. "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

If you are a spanish reader, join the 3860 people who have read the spanish version of this article at "Aplica la persuasión en tu vida diaria".

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Find your life passion - Part 5

2014-12-17T19:04:00.002-05:00

In the previous publications about passion, we explored two simple but extremely powerful ideas to talk about change and the pursuit of our passion: "simple ideas, great changes" and "simple ideas, great meanings". Overall, we concluded that passion can come from simple ideas but with great meaning.

While focusing on the pursuit of passion as a change you make in your life; in this third installment of the series I will complement this pair of ideas with the idea of action.

When you add specific actions to significant ideas, you achieve change and transformation; and from there, it will be much easier to find your passion.

Remember then this simple formula "simple ideas + significant meanings + small actions = big changes".

Small actions, big changes

It's not enough to change the way we feel and think for us to achieve the change we want in our lives. If you do not act to find your passion, you will never find it. You have to find your passion instead of waiting for it to manifest somehow. You'll have to get off the couch, turn off the TV and do many things in order to distinguish what you love in the midst of all the things you do or you can get to do everyday.

However, you do not have to undertake huge actions and projects to achieve this goal. Do not get bogged down by this false fact. You just have to do something slightly different, every day, whenever you can. There has not to be something extraordinary, it has not to be something that completely alters your routine.

Discover your passion in life altering your routine

For any change to occur in your life, it has to always happen the same thing: something disrupts your routine or something makes you out of your comfort zone. Do not wait for something external. Don't wait until someone or something forces you to do something different.

Instead, try to get out of the boundaries of your comfort zone or your habits whenever you can. This will open your mind and behavior to new ideas with extraordinary meanings.

Whenever you have the opportunity to transform the things you do every day, try it. Change the way you do things, play with the schedules, play with styles, play with the rhythm and the speed of your chores, play with different tools. Have fun.

Do not be afraid of making mistakes or wasting time doing something that you are not used to. After all, you're not spending all day doing it. 20 minutes will be enough for your daily quota in your quest for your change and your passion.

What I want to convey is that you do not have to invest large amounts of time, money and mental and physical efforts to make changes in your life. When we invest many resources and fail to see tangible results, quickly we get discouraged and give up our investment.

However, when we feel that our investing is minimum and does not affect us at all, because it is small but lasting, we will be more willing to hold longer.

For this reason I am not interested in asking you to buy all the equipment necessary for you to practice a new sport or to spend three hours a day doing something new.

Change works step by step, and in most cases is very, very, very slow. Once you understand how change works, you should adapt to its ways of operation: go step by step, go slowly. Get in tune with the change!

Find the spanish version of this post at: Encuentra tu pasión en la vida - Parte 3

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Find your life passion - Part 4

2014-12-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

Right now you have thousands of reasons and huge incentives to change, but when you meet a new meaning, you will not need more.

Last time we were discussing the meaning of things in life and we concluded that we are responsible for the meaning of the things in our lives such as a rainy day or a happy day. In this post, I will develop this idea to make you understand that, in the pursuit of your passion, a change of meaning doesn't imply "big" or "many" changes.

A new meaning is not necessarily a great meaning

Perhaps you have found many reasons to change something in your life, but suddenly, out of nowhere, appears an idea or an emotion that definitely convince you and gives you the psychological energy needed to start changing.

The most amazing thing I want to communicate you today is that this meaning can be something small, minimal, insignificant, unimportant. However, it will change your life in a way that you can not imagine. In other words, a change of meaning or the encounter of a new meaning does not require much preparation or psychological effort.

By this, I mean that you do not need a very good reason to change. You also do not need an excessive dose of motivation or huge amounts of willingness to change. In fact, change can born from a bad idea or a tiny change in behavior. This is the basis of chaos theory, small changes (often unpredictable changes) can lead to big changes. The flapping of a butterfly on one part of the planet can produce a tornado across the world.

In more concrete words: Passion in your life may be manifested by a change (apparently) insignificant in your life.

You do not need too many changes to make the first move

You do not need a lot of reasons or an impressive cluster of energy to (being to) transform your life. You do not need every possible reason in order to convince yourself to change. You do not need all the available energies. You just need a reason, a simple behavior or a feeling that makes sense to you, that means something important or special for you.

You simply need an idea that convinces you. Nonetheless, that idea has to be special at least in one sense: you should not put up much psychological resistance to that idea.

This idea will have a special configuration for you, it will be something remarkable in your life. But the idea that will bring change to your life does not have to be something important, elaborate or complex. It can be as simple as reading a sentence in a book, listening to a conversation between two strangers, seeing a picture on the internet or on television, hearing an inconsequential phrase in a movie, etc.

This idea, like a meme (like a virus), will be implemented in your head with such force that it will be impossible to forget. Of course, this idea will not be easy to find. We will have to work very hard -mentally, physically and emotionally- until that idea appears, then everything will go easier for us.

This idea can be very personal and private or, conversely, may be common, something that everybody thinks, feels or knows.

The pursuit of passion will be successful if we are always open to change

To find our passion, we must be willing to see the world in different ways. We must be willing to change small things in the way we feel, think and act.

Sometimes passion appear before us without any significant effort, but sometimes it is necessary to try many things before a new meaning can change your life. It may be something new, something you have never done, thought or felt; but it also may be something you even consider unimportant routine right now.

That is why the meaning is so important: because it helps us differentiate between important and insignificant things in our lives.

So this is what you need to do:

The second task for you is to transform the debilitating belief that change in your life comes after you do something very difficult, or that change is something that you strive for in a superhuman way, or something that you study incessantly until it gets into your head, or something that should think about long enough until you find something outstanding.

Change can occur after a tremendously simple event of your life.

If you implement this key idea to find your passion, you will notice that passion does not have to be something that will change your life completely. You might even doing already what you love, but you have not given it the proper meaning for it to become your true passion in life.

In conclusion, the powerful belief that you have to carve in your brain is:

Simple ideas + New meanings = Your change/Your passion.

You can read a slightly different version of this post, in spanish, here: Encuentra tu pasión en la vida: Parte 2.

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Find your life passion - Part 3

2014-11-29T14:04:00.001-05:00

Life is beautiful

In my last publication in the series about passion, I introduced a powerful idea in your mind that you should consider in your search for your life passion: Simple ideas, big changes. In this next part, I introduce you to another important message: simple ideas, great meanings.

For others, what your passion may seem like a huge chore, but for you it won’t even feel like work.

My interest is to crumble a little the complexity involved in seeking and finding your passion. I want to go step by step and without rushing. I intent to explore small ideas that later will make the difference when we stand before our passion.

Thinking in this simple but progressively will save time and effort, since these keys provide general guidance in our pursuit of passion and allow us to optimize the resources we use in our quest (money, time, mental energy, emotional energy, energy physical, etc.).

When your passion fits who you are so well, you stand out as being uniquely capable and powerful.

2. Simple Ideas, new meanings

Passion comes into your life when something changes. It may be a new habit, a new way of thinking, a new way of feeling or a new activity. Whatever it is, you can find passion only through change, so I will focus on the idea of change to speak about passion.

Change in your life is something that often manifests through meaning. This means that your life can change even if everything else remain constant. The world can still be exactly the same but you can see it in a different way if a change of meaning in your mind occurs, in the way you behave or in the way you feel.

Make your passion your fuel, not your destination.

Changes of meaning

The only condition that must be complied for change to manifest in your life is a change of meaning. In other words, your true passion in life doesn't have to be something completely new, different and complex. On the contrary, your passion in life can manifest itself simply when you find a different meaning to an (old) idea.

To enlighten this idea, I want you to think on a rainy day ...

The clouds are dark, very cold and the force and amount of water is such that it does not let anyone leave their homes. People go out with umbrellas and raincoats, but it's not enough. People try to find refuge under any roof and transportation is slow and uncomfortable. People around you seem annoyed and without energy. Many plans to go out and so something exciting are ruined by the intense rain. People can not go out for ice cream, to walk with the dog, to exercise outdoors, to play sports, etc.

For many people, this day would be a bad day. Just stop and consider the worst rainy day in your life. However, this simply is the meaning that people have given to rain. If you strive to find a different meaning to the same rain, your perception of life and the world can change completely. For example, for nature, a rainy day is a blessing, because it refresh the flora and fauna, rejuvenating all natural things.

"You know you’re not doing what you love"

Now, think of the best rainy day in your life ...

Maybe you prepared a hot drink, you sank on the couch with a blanket and did a marathon of your favorite TV series. Maybe you went to bed with your partner and together, you spent all afternoon watching movies. Or maybe you were with some friends, laughing at anything and talking animatedly in your room or your living room. Or, if you were already out with friends, playing football, when it started to rain, you decided to continue with the football game, having fun even though you were all soaked from head to toes. Or rather, you found yourself alone, put on some music and a million thoughts and feelings bathed your mind as you looked at the drops through the window. This way, you had some time for yourself and meditate about many things.

Rainy days have their good points and it's your choice to give them the meaning you prefer. You can stay locked in the house complaining about bad weather or you can improvise and enjoy the possibilities that you still have available. Similarly, if you have an open mind to the new meanings that things can have, one of these days you will stand face to face with your ultimate passion.

Your life lacks a deeper meaning, and you have no idea what you’re really passionate about? Then, explore new meanings in your existence.

You can read a slightly different version of this post, in spanish, here: Encuentra tu pasión en la vida: Parte 2

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Find your life passion - Part 2

2014-11-16T04:40:00.004-05:00

How do people change?

Simple ideas, big changes...

First of all, I want to warn you that here you will not find any tricks, complicated methods or weird strategies to find your passion. Instead, you'll find simple logical steps and ideas. What I offer you here are reflections, questions, simple suggestions, easy-to-implement habits and practical tasks that will not demand much effort or time from you.

So, before judging a task as silly and useless, please try to accomplish it in the best way possible. Prepare your mind and be willing to see things differently. Sometimes a simple change in attitude can change our perspective in a way that we never imagined.

Many times we have the answer right under our noses and we are not able to see them because they seemed so silly, so stupid, and obvious that we did not pay much attention to them. Therefore, you must prepare your mind for reflection. You must allow your mind to shift between perspectives in order to see things under a new light.

Although the idea that allows change could not be new, the way in which you see it, can be entirely new to you. The "great idea" that can change your own life and help you to find your passion may be an idea that has been hanging around in your head for years without you even know it.

Indeed, this idea does not even have to be a logical one. Human beings are complex. They are not simple machines. The forces that determine their behavior and thinking are so diverse (biological, social, family, physical, personal, spiritual, religious, political, economic, etc.) that is very difficult to identify "the single cause" of their actions and ideas.

Human beings are not simple action-reaction type of organisms. Because of that, the ideas that have the potential to change your life are not based on simple cause and effect, it is not a matter of a simple formula like "if X, then Y".

Sometimes, the source of an event can be a lot further than we suppose. For example, some of the nutrients that make Amazon the lungs of the world (one of the places with more vegetation and humidity of the world), are transported from the desert sands of the Sahara in Africa (one of the driest places of the world). This is not obvious to most of us. In fact, it was required a highly specialized technology to discover this surprising fact about our planet.

So, the first mental task for you is to open your mind to change and transformation. Do not think that logic is the only way to change or transform our lives. Humans do not rely only on logic. If we all acted logically, there would be no problems in the world. We would not destroy the environment, we would not hurt the animals that provide us with food and company, we would not buy things that we do not need, etc.

If the human being does not act only through logical or rational ideas, it is safe to assume that the changes that occur in your life can not be based solely in logical or rational ideas. Connect yourself with the non-rational parts of your existence.

Also, do not think that the idea that will change your life has to be a "great idea" or a "very bright idea". The idea that gives birth to change does not have to be a smart or a big one, it may perfectly be a small silly idea that others would consider foolish or naive. As I will explain to you in another publication, a tiny silly idea can have such a powerful and significant meaning in your life that it can bring change (sometimes, immediately!).

If you want to modify the way you think, you need to alter the debilitating belief that life change has to occur through new, complex, logical, brilliant, difficult or complicated thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Replace this debilitating belief by a more beneficial one:

You can find transformation in small and simple ideas.

Find a slightly different version of this post, in spanish, here: Encuentra tu pasión en la vida: Parte 1

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Find your life passion - Part 1

2014-11-14T21:27:00.001-05:00

In my practice as a clinical psychologist, in my relationships with friends and loved ones, in the blog comments and in the messages to my email or the Facebook page of the blog, I'm constantly faced with a complaint like this:

"What do I do to find a passion in my life? There are things I like, but nothing excites me. I know that when I find my passion in life everything will be different, but the problem is I'm not doing what I love because I do not know what it is"

The answer is not simple, nor unique. In fact, there is no magic formula to find the passion in your life. There are no tricks or shortcuts. Each person finds its passion in a very particular way.

What is passion and how can I find it?

Sometimes "passion" is just one thing that you do and you enjoy it. Sometimes it's something you've done for years and suddenly dawns on you that it is what you want to keep doing for the rest of your life. Sometimes it is something that we find once and, under certain special conditions, we note that we have finally found what moves us more than anything in the world.

Other times, "passion" is not an activity, a person or an object, but a mental or emotional change that is implemented in our lives, changes our perspective and allows us to see something that has always been in front of our eyes.

While sometimes the passion of our lives finds us, sometimes we create our passion. In other words, we do not look for passion like a lost treasure, instead, we perform an activity that we choose carefully as our passion.

In this sense, passion can be internal. This means that it can be independent from external stimuli or things. It's not something that affects us positively and definitely as something that happens to us or that we found -like a coin on the sidewalk of a street-. It's something we choose as our path and therefore we develop a carefully crafted plan to make that path our main engine in life.

With this short reflection I want to introduce a new series in the blog, the series about passion. In several posts, I want to explore with you the factors involved in finding and/or creating your passion in life. I want to show you different options and methods for you to stop complaining because you do not have passion in life and you do not know how to get it.

I want you to explore the alternatives that I will offer you. I want you to be willing to try them and do not give up until you find "the it" that will make your life a totally different experience.

In my first publications on passion, I will offer you some preliminary thoughts to get you started thinking about how and why a person changes. Then, in subsequent publications, I will discuss other strategies (some reflexive, other practical ones) with the hope that you can eventually do something effective to discover your passion in life.

--

You can find a slightly different version of this post, in spanish, here: Encuentra tu pasión en la vida - Primera parte

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up!
#YourChangeIsNow

Motivational Movies: Rudy - Part 4

2014-10-26T20:19:00.001-05:00

We need to be more like the kind of person that Rudy is. These kind of people believe in themselves more than the opinions of others and they have the self-confidence and security necessary to do everything possible to get what they want. Many people like Rudy have defied the statistics and what others think impossible, using the negative reviews as fuel to prove to others how wrong they are.

For example, some athletes do not have what is known as "biotype", even though they can practice the sport in which they are engaged. Quite simply, not having the right biotype means that your body does not meet the standard requirements for a given sport.

But the so called "biotype" is only a measure. The smallest athlete who has played in the best basketball league in the world, the NBA, was only 1.60 meters tall (5'2''). 23 players like him now are part of the history of the NBA, because they were only 1.75 meters tall (5'7'') -or less-. Two of them still play today.

This is simply amazing because the average height of a professional basketball player is 2 meters (6'5''). Of course, height in this sport is a crucial component. And such examples can be found in almost all sports.

In such cases it is worth asking where the limits really are. Surely, a great part of limits are in our mind, not our body. Although almost no one would be able to remember, there have been many people who have had everything to succeed (biotype, opportunities, endorsements, etc.) and go far, but they have not.

I assure you that the tallest or strongest players are not the best. And I'm also sure that the most talented does not necessarily win championships or major awards. And this is so easy to recognize, that you can easily generalize this conclusion to almost any competitive sport context.

You need to bear in mind that you have the power to transform your reality, to overcome the statistics ¡or to make the impossible so statistics include you!. The single most important factor to achieve your strongest desires does not lay in the things you can not change, like your physical abilities or certain talents, but in the things you do can change and improve.

The most important factor to make a dream true is unpredictable, you can not measure it and it has no limits, but it is available for you and for anyone.

You just have to be stubborn enough.
You just have to be motivated enough.
You just have to fight for what you want enough.

There are people with better resources than yours (and there always will be), but in many cases, what makes the real difference is that you want to achieve something more than everybody else. When you want victory more than anybody else. That desire may have more momentum than all other factors combined.

Rudy is a profound example of the human ability to surmount obstacles and achieve success, said UVUSA Student Senator Billy Swadley. His presence at UVU will set the tone for how students tackle their own personal barriers this school year.

Ruettiger, the son of an oil refinery worker and third of 14 children, has become one of the most popular motivational speakers in the United States. His story of overcoming the doubt and numerous obstacles preventing him from going to college and achieving his ultimate dream of playing for the Fighting Irish has become a classic through the namesake movie he inspired.

Swadley said UVUSA hopes Ruettigers message will set the tone for an achievement-filled school year.

I want to leave you with some links if you want to find more material about Rudy Ruettiger and the film, Rudy.

First, you can find in this webpage, some FAQs about the movie, such as "Was the groundskeeper played by Charles S. Dutton a real character?" or "Is it true that Rudy was the only player to ever be carried off the field at Notre Dame stadium?" You can also find an interview and a mini-bio of Rudy Ruettiger. Of course, you'll find more related links there.
Second, you can visit the official page of Rudy and find out more about the movie and the person. For example, be inspired with "Game plans for winning at life", material about the real story of Rudy, pictures, questions and answers about Rudy and the movie and more.
Third, it is mandatory for you to visit the article about Rudy Ruetigger and the film Rudy. Also, check out some of the best quotes of the movie and read this story from the BleacherReport.
Finally, I recommend you this article about the lessons from Rudy to activate your inner drive.

You can find a slightly different version of this post here.

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up! #YourChangeIsNow

Motivational Movies: Rudy - Part 3

2014-10-19T17:26:00.000-05:00

"Getting what you want is only a problem

if you have nowhere to go next.

Dreaming is a lifetime occupation."

Rudy Ruettiger

Let's consider for a moment our dreams, be them large or small, possible or impossible. Surely we have the belief that, because of certain past and current conditions, some of our fondest dreams are only possible in an alternate universe.

Without thinking too much, we discard our dreams and decide to keep them in the trunk of the Forgotten Dreams.

If we ever were to tell anyone about them, they immediately would say that our dreams are mere desires and fantasies.

Maybe we want to be famous, multimillionaire or very talented people; but it seems like every aspect of our life is determined to be contrary to those dreams:

We are ugly.

We are small.

We have no talent.

Our physical and intellectual attributes are very poor

We can not afford a good education

We can not invest in things in order to achieve what we want.

Most of us are totally discouraged at this point and then, we try to establish for ourselves humble and small goals. Without having even tried to chase our dreams, we are abandoning what we want most in life because those things just seems impossible.

Some others try and, when confronted with "real life", begin to think that everything is against them. Overwhelmed by the first failures, they decide to stop suffering 'unnecessarily' and forget about something that they believe is something unattainable.

This happened to Rudy too. But listen closely to what the groundskeeper said to him:

Another group of people tend to accept that the opinion of others is the most important thing in the world and they end up accepting -one way or another- that what they can and can not do is always going to be determined by others. For this reason, many people are afraid to share their dreams and projects, because they feel that their motivation increases or decreases according to what others think. In this sense, some of us just dream secretly, we do not want to face ridicule, criticism or judgments. We do not want other people to tell us if we are doing something wrong or right.

But this attitude is telling your conscience things like these:

Your dreams are too small
Your dreams are too big
Your dreams are absurd
Your are being irrational for dreaming something like that.
Your dreams are not worth it
You are stupid, and your dreams too.
Your dreams do not even deserve to be known by anyone.

Ultimately, an idea begins to grow in your mind: "It is more important what others think of you than what you think yourself".

Is this the path you are going to walk in your life?

I want to leave you with a video that resumes the movie perfectly.

You can read a slighly different version of this post, in spanish, here: Lucha por tus sueños

Remember that you're allowed to fall, but you must get back up! #YourChangeIsNow

Motivational Movies: Rudy - Part 2

2014-10-13T18:40:00.000-05:00

In this post, I'm going to talk about the story of Rudy in the movie, if you could not watch it. If you want to see the movie (something I deeply recommend you to do), wait for the next post about this movie here or read the first part here.

After age 22, Rudy's best friend, who always believed in him, dies in an accident. Shocked by this loss, Rudy realized that he must follow the dream he had since he was a child. Everybody only anticipated failure in Rudy's initiative. His girlfriend did not support him and soon, she left him. His father tried to anchor him to "his place" within the family, the village and the world, telling him that he could live comfortably with a simpler and less ambitious life, without having to take risks to chase an impossible dream, without wasting his time chasing something that he would never get.

Rudy ignored all of his and traveled to the University, but his grades were too low to be accepted. With his savings, he began to study at a junior college with the idea of transferring to Notre Dame when he could get good grades. Rudy had a learning disability, but he was willing to study hard and take hundreds of lecture notes in order to get good grades.

Then, he met a tutor who helped him academically. Rudy had no money to pay for his personalized classes; so he made a deal with his tutor: The tutor was very shy and he wanted to have a girlfriend. So, Rudy will introduce many girls to him so he could get a girlfriend. Rudy did not know any girls in college, so he invested a lot of time to meet girls and then present them to his new friend and tutor.

Rudy wanted to be near Notre Dame's football team, but he was not a student at Notre Dame, so he could not even take care of the organization and cleaning of the implements of the team. However, he offered himself to work for free with one of the people responsible for maintaining the stadium in which Notre Dame played. He did this just to be involved in any way with his dream.

Rudy was homeless, but he managed to sleep in a room maintenance without nobody knowing it, while he still attended to his classes. At the end of each semester, he was sending a letter to be accepted into Notre Dame. After many failed attempts, he was finally accepted.

The first thing he did when he was accepted was to go to the trials for the football team. His physical condition did not impress anyone, but the enthusiasm with which he made each exercise in order to be accepted, in the end, convinced the coaches, who gave him the opportunity to be a "tackling dummy" for the other players. In other words, the team was supposed to train at the expense of Rudy's physical safety.

For two years, Rudy tried to be listed on the team, but simply put, his physical capacity was insufficient, and it has always had been. However, Rudy kept training with the team, inspiring everyone with his energy and passion for the sport.

Rudy was not talented, but he was more persistent than any player in the team. He put his body and soul into every training.

In the end, his companions admired him so much that they insisted the coach to allow him to dress like a player in one of the official games of the team. The insistence of his colleagues was so intense that the coach reluctantly accepted. This way, Rudy achieved his dream. He even led his teammates to the field before the game and he was allowed to play in the final seconds thanks to his teammates. In the end, they raised him triumphantly off the field, an honor that no player has ever had in the history of the team.

--

You can read a slightly different version of this post in spanish here: Inspiración de película: Rudy: Reto a la gloria

Motivational Movies: Rudy - Part 1

2014-10-11T19:43:00.001-05:00

As of now I open a section dedicated to extract the most important motivational ideas from the best movies I have seen. Unfortunately, the literature that specializes in motivational materials usually have serious disadvantages. Books and motivational videos are usually boring and repetitive, and although there are very good ones, most people are simply not interested in investing their time to read them.

With movies, a funny thing happens: everyone talks about them and no one will ever judge you as boring to talk about a movie in most social contexts. They also have a very striking form and therefore we do not usually have trouble remembering our favorite ones. Personally, I assume that the multimedia material is the best one to reach the greatest number of people, and I also believe that, while most movies and videos are crap, there are numerous ways to take advantage of the movies that we like.

Recently, I had the pleasure to watch a 1993 movie titled "Rudy". It is the true story of a young man who all his life wanted to be a football player. Sadly he was too small and weak to do so. Most of his family ended up working without a promising future. But Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger wanted to play for the prestigious Notre Dame University.

Everyone around him, including his teachers, described him as a dreamer and he was cruelly discouraged whenever he talked about his dreams. And maybe they were right: His grades were low, his athletic skills were poor and his body was small and thin. No one in his family had gone to college and he had no money.

Nevertheless, Rudy always had his attention on his great illusion: being on the Notre Dame team. He will do the impossible to fulfill his dream. Unlike other films about sports, Rudy's struggle is very real and well dramatized. Although Rudy ate, slept and breathed football, that did not transform him automatically in the best player on his team. However, in one way or another, Rudy's dream will come true. Rudy had the heart and spirit of a warrior, despite not having an appropriate body to help him get what he wanted so badly.

How impossible dreams are?

You can not watch this film without, inevitably, be inspired by Rudy's heart and mental strength. Everybody tease him because his dreams are bigger than his body. His friends and family constantly discouraged him, criticized him and laughed at his stubborn ideas.

Surely, if we had met Rudy, most of us would conclude that his dream was impossible. We would tell him that you he was wasting his time and energy on a goal that was far beyond from what he could achieve. His intellectual and physical qualifications were few and mediocre. He had no money. He had not the body of an athlete. Apparently, everything was against him and anyone could notice it almost instantly. If any of us were to see someone like him with the same dreams, surely, we would think that he/she is delusional.

With all odds against him, Rudy fought against his fate and he never cared about other's opinions, even when those opinions were, more or less, "reasonable" ones. At first, he was drawn by his family's fate. After school, he started working. But a painful event in his life will change his mind.

Soon, the second part of this story will be published on the blog. Meanwhile, go watch the movie.

You can read a slightly different version of this post in spanish here: Inspiración de película: Rudy: Reto a la gloria

You are the creator of your own destiny

2014-10-05T21:35:00.000-05:00

Many people believe that life is a matter of chance. They believe that the experiences and opportunities that arise spontaneously, besides being pleasant surprises, are the best way to live and even, to grow personally. These people rely more on external events and for that reason wait for "things" to happen. People like these believe in coincidences. They think that the universe has prepared a great future for them, simply because.

According to these people, you just have to "give it some time" and be resistant to your problems in life. After all, "every cloud has a silver lining", so the best you can do is withstand the present difficulties. Sooner or later better times will come for you.

The destination that is written especially for you will find you and you will not have the complications you have now, after all, "even the longest night comes to an end". So, one day, either you want it or not, your problems will come to an end.

Simply put, the extraordinary things in life appear unexpectedly. You just have to be -one way or another- ready to make use of the good times that the destination is offering -or will offer- you, tomorrow or in a couple of years.

To all this fanciful and idealistic verbiage, I strongly oppose.

Opportunities do not come your way from one moment to another, you have to intensively build hundreds of ways so that they intersect with yours.

Many would answer me with dozens of biographical references in which a character in the story "had good luck" and because of a happy event, he or she was successful in life. Also, they would cite hundreds of cases in which a person worked hard all his life and in the end he/she did not achieve great success.

Obviously, unpredictable fortunate (and unfortunate) situations happen all the time, but I think these cases are the exception rather than the rule. I just do not think that chance, luck or fate should guide my life and my purposes (some people even believe that fate will show them what purposes they must have in their lives, which surprises me a lot).

The things you want won't come into your life "as if by magic". You are the architect of your own destiny. In your hands is your personal fulfillment and your most cherished goals.

I believe in building a physical and psychological discipline to grow as a person. I’m quite convinced that the best way to ensure your "destiny" in life is to create it. I’ve always thought that the best way to predict your future is doing everything possible to make things happen. In my opinion, we are in this world to create opportunities for ourselves, not to wait for them to come to us magically.

Also, I think you should not be too controlling to stop believing in fate and you do not have to be a person who needs to be in control of everything that happens in your life.

You can have adventures, "live in the moment" and do things spontaneously, but I assure you that these things do not ensure that your dreams come true, even though they are a key component in the life of any person.

Some others could say that you simply need to be prepared and that luck will do the rest. But, to be prepared is to actively deny luck or chance. André Maurois, a famous French novelist and essayist, said: "There are no secrets to success. In practice all theories collapse. All comes down to luck and a long patience" However, I wonder about what really means to "have a long patience" Should I just sit on my couch to watch TV and wait for the blessings of a good life to fall on me? Perhaps fate could make me watch the best television shows I could have seen in my life, but it will not do better than that. Even skeptics have to agree with me that mere hope and patience does not guarantee anything.

Do not be a conformist. Do not be an idealist. Be someone more pragmatic. Do not wait for fate to call at your door when you have not even built the door!

I only see on luck, coincidence and fate an accumulation of excuses for not making plans, not to set goals in your life, not to begin to work on what you want to do. No smart person who has succeeded in life will tell you that their achievements are the result of the good will of fate. Will Smith, the famous rapper and actor, won't tell you that his fame, money and physical attractiveness are due to the happy coincidences and a series of strokes of good luck.

The myth of destiny is the perfect excuse for inaction, for you to stay right there where you are now, hoping that predestination run your life the best way possible. If you still believe in destiny, think about what this fantasy is doing to your life. Reflect on how this unfortunate idea feeds your passivity and your laziness, telling you that you can not have a better life than "something" or "someone" already established, no matter how much or how little you do, no matter the ambitions and dreams you have in your life.

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny

but in ourselves".

William Shakespeare

"Every man got the right

to decide his own destiny".

Bob Marley

"It is in your moments of decision

that your destiny is shaped".

Tony Robbins

"Destiny is no matter of chance.

It is a matter of choice.

It is not a thing to be waited for,

it is a thing to be achieved".

William Jennings Bryan

"Control your own destiny

or someone else will."

Jack Welch

“The only person you are destined to become

is the person you decide to be.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can read the sligtly different spanish version of this post here: El destino no existe

What if money was no object? - Alan Watts (Video)

2014-09-30T21:43:00.003-05:00

What do you desire? What makes you itch? What sort of a situation would you like?

Let’s suppose, I do this often in vocational guidance of students, they come to me and say, well, "we’re getting out of college and we have the faintest idea what we want to do". So I always ask the question, "what would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?"

Well, it’s so amazing as a result of our kind of educational system, crowds of students say well, we’d like to be painters, we’d like to be poets, we’d like to be writers, but as everybody knows you can’t earn any money that way. Or another person says well, I’d like to live an out-of-doors life and ride horses. I said you want to teach in a riding school? Let’s go through with it. What do you want to do?

If you don't live for something, you will die for nothing

When we finally got down to something, which the individual says he really wants to do, I will say to him, you do that and forget the money, because, if you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing things you don’t like doing, which is stupid. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.

And after all, if you do really like what you’re doing, it doesn’t matter what it is, you can eventually turn it – you could eventually become a master of it. It’s the only way to become a master of something, to be really with it. And then you’ll be able to get a good fee for whatever it is. So don’t worry too much.

That’s everybody is – somebody is interested in everything, anything you can be interested in, you will find others will. But it’s absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don’t like, in order to go on spending things you don’t like, doing things you don’t like and to teach our children to follow in the same track.

See what we are doing, is we’re bringing up children and educating to live the same sort of lifes we are living. In order that they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same thing, so it’s all retch, and no vomit it never gets there.

And so, therefore, it’s so important to consider this question:

What do I desire?