Your Dress Would Look Better On Me

Herb Alpert and Lani Hall at The Dakota Jazz Club

2009-11-12T08:48:00.000-08:00

"DEAR MR. ALPERT," SAID A WOMAN FROM THE SECOND FLOOR. She began speaking before the applause died down after Herb Alpert's final song at The Dakota Jazz club this past Tuesday. At the very beginning of his show he insisted that the mood be very casual and he encouraged questions from the audience, "but no song requests."

"Dear Mr. Alpert! Dear Mr. Alpert!" She said again, and finally Mr. Alpert looked up. The woman then told a story, starting with the fact that she had been a nun. It was 1968, and she said that A Taste of Honey "wafted in through my cloister window" from across the way one night, "and it inspired me to leave the seminary."

The applause was deafening.

Herb Alpert and Lani Hall react to a former nun's story

But let's get back to the beginning of the show.

The opening act is worth mentioning: Mr. Smooth Irv Williams. I found out that Mr. Williams has been a mainstay of the Minnesota jazz scene for over 50 years. So what does that make him? 90 years old! He plays at the Dakota every Friday during happy hour from 4:00 - 6:00. He'll be playing in the evenings at The Dakota in January or February as well.

Herb Alpert and his wife, Lani Hall of Brasil '66 fame, are touring to promote their first recorded project together entitled Anything Goes (warning, instant audio). As the title eludes, the album includes new takes on old classics, such as Fascinating Rhythm, It's Only A Paper Moon and I've Got You Under My Skin.

After his first song, Alpert asked if anyone had any questions. A hand went up and Alpert called on a fellow. I'd like to note how polite the Dakota's audience was that night -- the fellow stood up to ask his question. "Sir, is it true you and Tom Jones met the Queen together?"

To which Alpert responded, "How did you know that?" Alpert then told how in 1974 he performed for the Queen, but was instructed not to acknowledge her during the performance. If she liked what she saw, she would send a note after the show. Sure enough, Alpert received a note backstage. "I forget who else was there," said Alpert. "Ginger Rogers or somebody like that." The Prince told Alpert that he liked his music and listened to it in the palace den. This surprised Alpert, not because the Prince listened to his music, but the idea of what the den in the royal palace could have possibly been like.

Alpert and Hall then played an especially sultry rendition of Let's Face the Music and Dance. "First, Lani and I became friends," said Alpert, telling a story of when they first met and later when they became a couple. "This is an angel from another planet," he said. "She's from Chicago and she changed my life for the better." Hall then sang a very slow version of That Old Black Magic. She noted the fast version made famous by Louis Prima, but said she wanted to "slow it down in order to really understand that lyric." At many points during the show it was clear that Alpert and Hall still have quite a bit of magic in their marriage -- throughout the show they hugged and smiled at each other, and at one point she sat on his lap at the piano.

Hall did most of the singing at The Dakota that night, backed up by a driving rhythm section. Alpert added vocals here and there, but mostly trumpet flourishes whenever he wasn't taking over the melody. Toward the end of the show he took out an instrument he developed himself. "I called the guy, I paid to make it," said Alpert. I didn't catch what he named the instrument, but it's two trumpets in one. One bell is sans mute, and he pulls a "trigger" to switch between muted and unmuted trumpet sounds.

There were more questions for Alpert before the evening ended, including "What is your favorite song?" Alpert couldn't really answer the question fully until he finished his next song, which must have jogged his memory as he ended it in an improvised flourish of This Guy's In Love. He was reminded of a story. "I called this friend of mine," Alpert said. The friend was Hal David, and at the time he had just written a song called This Girl's In Love. Alpert asked if him if he could change the gender and some of the lyrics. In the studio, Alpert got the recording in one take.

It's no wonder Alpert is still going strong -- not only has he reinvented the music he's playing, but he gives songs sex-changes and turns nuns into the marrying type. It would seem that his trumpet's big bells rival his own.

Skyway Fun: LaSalle Plaza Fountain

2009-11-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

THERE IS AN ANCIENT ALIEN BEACON DISGUISED as a fountain in Downtown Minneapolis' LaSalle Plaza at 800 LaSalle Avenue. Well, perhaps this isn't the case. But it sure looks like it, with the strange motherboard-like square shapes printed on the base of the cylindrical copper sculpture like some ancient language.

The 28-floor LaSalle Plaza building, built by Ellerbe Becket, the largest architectural firm in Minnesota, houses The Historic State Theater, the Palomino Restaurant, YMCA, the LaSalle Apartments, as well as the other Skyway Fun installation Top Hat.

The fountain is an impressive yet relaxing display, all the way from the mirror and space-scape installation painted on the second-floor ceiling to the fountain's collecting pool on the main floor. The collecting pool may not look like anything impressive at first, but it's quite interesting -- it looks like the water falls right off the edge of the pool, as if it disappears on to the next universe. Pity it is set off from the main drag in LaSalle's corridor. But it does help with the feeling that you've discovered a forgotten oasis and an ancient treasure.

It's as if the fountain represents something landing on Earth from space. I would love to find out more about this piece, as there is no plaque nearby telling who the artist is, or even an artist's statement for this distinct skyway art.

If you have information you could contribute, please let me know. I am very curious to find out more about this particular piece.

Sean Tubridy: Robot Dog

2009-11-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

ONE OF MY FAVORITE LOCAL ARTISTS is Sean Tubridy. He does spectacular prints of old-school kitchen appliances, scooters, transistor radios, cameras, ray guns, and robots. It's possible some of you locals have seen a little guy named Harvey stuck around town -- that's Sean's creation, too.

As many of my readers know, I have sort of a thing for robots. And animals. So naturally I found this print of a robot dog, walking away from his nuts'n'bolts poo with a spring, er, spark in his step, irresistible.

Check out Sean's Save Polaroid campaign, too.

Russian Modernism: Foronov, 1919

2009-11-08T16:55:00.000-08:00

IT WAS DANGEROUS TO SET UP THE EBAY ALERT for Russian Modernism. I've been able to resist a few things and forced to avoid bidding on others due to all the zeros that sometimes pop up. But one piece struck me immediately and I had to bid.

This is oil paint on construction paper; it is signed in Cyrillic, which translates to Foronov and dated 1919.

Skyway Fun: Flying Eagle by Gwynn Murrill

2009-11-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

IN THE SKYWAY AT 1000 NICOLLET MALL, you will find Target Corporation. It's a bustling point of the skyway at 9am, noon, and 5pm, so it's possible to go by without seeing the very stark, very tall bronze statue called Flying Eagle by artist Gwynn Murrill.

Her specialty appears to be animal sculptures, and although they are minimal, they are also quite strong, sturdy and powerful representations. The flying eagle in the ground floor lobby of Target Corp., just outside of the Dakota Jazz Club, is no exception.As I mentioned, this is a tall sculpture. It is indeed located on the ground floor, but it towers 26' to the ceiling, making it easy to view from skyway level. On the ground floor there is a plaque that says the following:

2003
Bronze
Overall size: 26'H x 10'W x 5'D

The California artist Gywnn Murrill has been sculpting animals out of wood, bronze and marble for nearly four decades. After completing her MFA at UCLA in 1972, she established a studio in Los Angeles. Since that time, she has received numerous prestigious awards, including the Prix de Rome from the American Academy in Rome and a Guggenheim Fellowship. Her public commissions and reputation are international.

Celebrated for her public monuments, Murrill approaches the representation of animals with reductive formalism that immediately recalls ancient sculpture. Murrill imbues her animals with a latent sense of power by eliminating excessive surface details and by capturing their taut, alert postures. This abstracted and idealized Eagle engages the spectator with its towering scale and seemingly effortless and serene command of the environment.

Target Corporation,
1000 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN

Mission: 007 Wedding at Cowles Conservatory

2009-11-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

I JUDO-CHOPPED THE MINISTER AT A WEDDING THIS WEEKEND, then forced the bride away from the ceremony at gunpoint. Really.

Unfortunately, my plan was foiled by James Bond.

You see, the bride and groom joined in holy matrimony this Halloween in Cowles Conservatory at the Walker Art Center.

It's exactly the kind of place I would expect 007 to get married.

It was an excellent place to be married, if you're into that kind of thing, as the weather was quite chilly despite the sunny sky. The greenhouse setting provided a tropical warmth that was much appreciated by the attending guests -- of whom included mysterious figures in trench coats and worldly characters in '60s attire. And a SMERSH henchman (aka Max 'Bunny' Sparber) who ended up performing the ceremony for Jon (James Bond) and Trixi (Tracy Di Vincenzo) Hunter.

I was there under the guise of guest, but, as mentioned earlier I had other plans.

I've had to find new ways to accessorize my disguises, so I sewed black sequins on to my eyepatch to match my sequined jumpsuit for the special day.

There will be another special day, too, Miss Di Vincenzo -- Mrs. Bond now, I suppose. Yes, there will be another special day, Mrs. Bond, when we shall meet again.

The scar is from a previous heist at The Walker Art Center -- you may remember an Yves Klein gone missing. Well, I didn't have anything to do with that.

I Joined A Band: Halloween Show at the Eagles Club and Beyond!

2009-10-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Twitter, Facebook, MySpace
COURTNEY McCLEAN AND THE DIRTY CURLS have been working on a trough-load of new songs. Just this past Saturday we got together for a rehearsal which ended up involving lots of farm animal noises. At least, more than usual, anyway.

Make plans to see Courtney McClean and The Dirty Curls perform as part of a show called Laugh. Rock. Repeat.

October 31 at 9pm, $5 cover
The Eagles Club
287 Maria Avenue, St. Paul

The Dirty Curls may go on a little later in the show.

Since you have your calendar out, make sure to mark Dec. 11 & 12 at 10:30pm. We'll be performing an hour-long show following Joe Scrimshaw's Fat Man Crying show at the Theater Garage, 711 W Franklin Ave. in Minneapolis.

Keep up with when and where Courtney McClean and the Dirty Curls are doin' it on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace

Yeehaw!

Bad Jobs: Babysitting: Carpet Cleaning

2009-10-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

IT WAS TIME TO CHECK ON THE NAPPING 2 YEAR OLDS, Children Three and Four. I crept quietly down the hall and opened the door slowly to peak in and see how their nap was going. Apparently the nap had ended a while ago.

When I cracked open the door and my gaze met two sets of startled blue eyes, I half expected to see other 2 year olds in my periferal vision snubbing out cigarettes, downing the rest of their alcohol and making mad dashes of escape out the window.

You see, Three and Four's room had undergone a transformation since I tucked them in earlier for their afternoon nap. They had not only taken all the sheets and blankets off their tiny little kids' beds, but took the mattresses off the bed frames entirely. And since the mattresses were naked, Three and Four decided it was a good idea to get naked, too, and I clearly interrupted them while they were comparing their parts.

Now Three and Four had very distinct personalities. Three was confident and often tried to get her way not by fighting and crying, but by batting her eye-lashes. Four was the opposite, a whiny little one who, I found out the hard way, seemed to have a nervous condition and threw up whenever anything frustrating or unexpected happened.

I got the girls dressed and they helped me put their room back together. Lunchtime came and went easily enough. Child One and Two were playing outside, and after wiping their faces, Child Three and Child Four took out some toys and were playing in the living room. When I finished washing the dishes, I went into the living room to play with the girls.

I had vacuumed the house that day, and did a little more cleaning than I am wont to do while babysitting. After all, I am there to take care of the kids, not house-keep. But the house always smelled odd and stale, and when I got home every night I would immediately take a shower, feeling as though there were a greasy film all over me. So it felt good to know that at least the carpet had been recently vacuumed. Still, I never sat on the floor and I always kept my shoes on. And on this particular day, even though I vacuumed and cleaned, I was glad I remained steadfast in those habits.

When I came out from the kitchen, I saw that Child Four had once again disrobed completely. She took a break from playing with her toys in order to squat in the the middle of the living room floor. I caught her mid-stream. My good mood deflated and the growing exhaustion from being in this house quickly took its place.

She didn't expect me to come around the corner just then. And I didn't expect to see what I was seeing. There was a moment of complete silence, except for the sound of a growing patch of soggy carpet, before either of us reacted. I loudly asked, "What are you doing!" To which she immediately vomited.

Bad Jobs: Babysitting: Birthday Party

2009-10-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

I HAD A FEELING CHILD ONE AND CHILD TWO WERE not officially invited to that neighborhood boy's birthday party. There was no invitation to be found, first of all, and the first time they even heard about the birthday was 15 minutes before the party was leaving for Chuck E. Cheeses. I asked to see an invitation, I called the kids' parents to find out if indeed they were invited to a birthday party, but they didn't answer their phones.

I knew it was rude to saddle some kids' mom with two more kids -- especially these two in particular -- at the last minute. But the visions I had of them being out of the house were too strong for me to come to any other decision.

"If you wash up and put on some clean clothes, you can go," I said. I made the barely literate boys make a birthday card from the only paper in the house I could find -- a page on the fridge that one of the girls had scribbled on with crayon. Like when a tattoo artist is asked to disguise a man's name with flowers on a scorned woman's arm, I told the boys to turn their sister's drawing into a birthday card. I made them scrounge up any money they had, which came to 7 dirty, wrinkled dollars, to stuff into the homemade card.

I wasn't about to have those kids show up empty handed to a party they weren't invited to.

Bad Jobs: Babysitting: Don't Go Downstairs in the Hall House

2009-10-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

I WAS IN MY EARLY TEENS, I think, and I had a summer babysitting job about a mile away from where I lived. I had to get there at 6 or 7 in the morning and stay until one of the parents got home from work in the late afternoon.

This was a two person job, taking care of Child One and Child Two, boys, eight and ten, and Child Three and Child Four, 2 year old twin girls. But my friend from school, who suggested I partner with her for this summer-long babysitting job, went on vacation or something so I was on my own.

I immediately had to make a pact with myself to not go downstairs in the Hall* House. This decision made immediately after having to go hunting for Child Two.

Now I was never told to make sure to feed the family dog. As a result, I assumed that the task of filling the dog's food dish was taken care of before I got to Hall House and after I left. On this particular day, however, I was told to make sure one of the boys fed the dog.

According to Child One, it was Child Two's turn to do this chore. But Child Two had disappeared. When I found him, he was downstairs lying on the couch and watching The Price is Right or something.

"It's time go feed the --" I started to say. I walked closer into the room and stopped dead. "Oh," I said in staccato. Child Two had found his parents' back massager, but he was most definitely not rubbing knots out from between his shoulder blades. I turned on my heels and went back up stairs. I mentally signed my pact in blood to never again go downstairs.

"But it's HIS turn," Child Two protested when I told him he had to feed the dog.

"He's busy with something else right now," I said. "Just go feed your dog, please."

"But there's no food left," Child Two said.

"What? Well is there a spare bag somewhere?" I asked. And then he said something about how there hadn't been any dog food for days and I flew into a blind fury. Did they forget to buy dog food while they were out buying their new Buick? I tried to pin down exactly when the dog ate last, and why did they run out of dog food? But none of this was feeding the dog, so I called my mom and asked her to bring over some of our dog's food as fast as she could.

After that situation was handled, I made the mistake of asking if there were any other animals I should know about. There were gerbils downstairs. I would have to break my pact.

This time, instead of the downstairs living room, I was in Child One and Two's bedroom. And if the downstairs as a whole was an outer ring of hell, I knew by the smell of urine emanating from their bedroom, that I was quickly winding my way to the center-most ring.

I entered the bedroom, covered my nose and mouth with my hand, then peered down at the floor into a glass gerbil cage.

I became thickly enshrouded with the stench of urine. I assumed it was coming from the bare mattresses on the bunk bed; they must have been moist to their cores with urine. The smell was so pungent, the air so heavy, that I imagined if I stayed in there for too long, the odor would settle on me like dust and turn my clothes, skin, and hair a slight yellow.

As I hunched frantically over the cage. It was clear that long ago this cage had been the sight of a magnificent massacre, one spurred by starvation. I knew it had happened long ago, because the cage no longer had the stench of death. In fact, with a fresh layer of wood chips on top, it was the best smelling thing in the room.

With the aid of some utensil, I dug through a ridiculous amount of wood chips. Tears of frustration began to roll down my face as I started to find clumps of short, soft gray hair. I don't remember how long I had been babysitting these kids, but I was sure as hell nobody told me there were gerbils to feed. But then, of course, I guess there hadn't been any gerbils to feed for some time.

"Wood chips are not food!" I cried out, mostly to myself at first. Then I looked up at the ceiling, like Heston looked up at the heavens, and bellowed for everyone to hear. "Wood chips are not food!"

The remains of the gerbils that I encountered first, near the top, were probably the animals who lived the longest, but had also been the maddest. They had desperately climbed to the top of the carcasses of their dead relatives -- of which there were many -- cannibalizing them as they hiked to the peak of the wood chips, only to find they were still inches out of reach of escaping their glass cage. There were so many wood chips in the cage that I came to the conclusion that Child One or Two figured gerbils loved to eat wood chips.

There was nothing I could do. I decided to get out of that room before I asphyxiated.

*Name Changed

Sumac "Lemonade"

2009-10-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

MOM AND I EACH HAD A SIDECAR, and then we started talking crazy. We started talking about making something to drink that was not alcoholic. (I noticed that it's much easier to talk of such things while there is ice chilling the shaker for round two.)

Mom started talking about that funny tree in the backyard, the one with branches like velvety deer antlers. With some research, she found that the tree is a Sumac and the berries growing from the branches -- soft, mauve buds grouped like tiny bunches of grapes -- can be used to make tea.

From Bradford Angier's Field Guide to Edible Wild Plants:

Sumac "lemonade" is just the thing to take the edges off a hard afternoon. Pick over a generous handful of the red berries, drop them into a pan and mash them slightly, cover with boiling water, and allow to steep away from any heat until this is well colored. Then strain through two thicknesses of cloth to remove the fine hairs.

Sweeten to taste, then serve the so-called Indian lemonade hot or cold. The berries are best for this in late summer and early fall. Incidentally, the fruit of the staghorn sumac is less tart than that from the other similar edibles.

Some Indian tribes like this acidic drink so much that they dried the small, one-seeded berries and stored them for winter use. Many colonists followed suit.

Surprisingly, the taste wasn't as earthy as I thought it would be. It was tangy and tart, but it didn't have a strong bite to it -- more of a nip. We could definitely see how this would have been a treat for people living on the plains in the middle of winter.

Then we added some sugar.
And then we added brandy. And lime juice.

And, oh dear, it needs a bit of Triple Sec, don't you think?

Now my mom and I are hooked.

I Joined A Band: Bryant-Lake Bowl, Nomad World Pub, and A Mini-Tour to NYC

2009-10-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

THE DIRTY CURLS HAVE BEEN GROWING IN POPULARITY, and our Facebook fans now number in the 400s! Our next performances are coming up soon at the end of October. Keep up with when and where The Dirty Curls are doin' it on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace.

The latest Dirty Curls news starts on September 12. The five of us played a lively 10pm show at the Bryant-Lake Bowl as part of Women Stand Up! A Comedy Cabaret, presented by EOS Productions.

On September 29 our bandleader Courtney McLean (or McClean during performances) went on a mini solo-tour in New York City. She performed at Failte at 531 2nd Ave. She played Suck A Ring (It makes us all so happy to hear you sing along!), The Family Tree (Butt Sex), That's Right, You Bore Me With Your Dirty Talk, and I Would Go Gay For You. The rest of us Curls wanted so badly to join McClean, but us ~~hillbillies~~ naughty-billies had work to do. Naturally, she was a hit and even played an impromptu song or two at a friends' wedding reception -- which really is an ideal audience.

On Friday October 9th we waited for the Yankees v. Twins game to end before we began our set at the Nomad World Pub in the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood of Minneapolis. This performance also marked the debut of Bunny's Box Bass!

We were the opening act for an incredibly amusing and entertaining band called The Traveling Musicians (they also make up the theater trouple 3 Sticks.), who base themselves on the Bremen Town Musicians and dress as a rooster, donkey, cat and dog. Their version is a bit naughtier though (cock, ass, pussy, bitch!) which made us a perfect fit for an evening of lively music.

Match Up!

2009-10-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

Bigger

Unmutative

2009-09-30T21:34:00.001-07:00

I HAD TO BUY RONNIE C'S BRACELET. WHY?

Sure, it's not much to look at on the outside. Hasn't anyone told you it's what's on the inside that counts? Because Ronnie C's bracelet has an inside. It's a complex internal system wrapped in a stainless steel, lattice-hinged, loop of unassuming depth.

I found the little gem of a thing in North-O, the O stands for Omaha, and I was in a thrift shop. It was a great thrift shop, too. But all I have now are memories, this bracelet, and a little Brownie camera, as it is no longer a thrift store. (O! Your thrift shops are so plentiful, their bounty so fruitful!) The parenthetical you read has not a hint of sarcasm. Back me up, Omaha-ans.

I digress.

So what's it all about Ronnie C? What's behind that shaky, child-like scrawl of an engraving? What's the big idea?

UNMUTATIVE.

Read it. Live it.

I'm out.

High-Fructose

2009-09-28T21:09:00.001-07:00

Micachu and the Shapes via The Walker Art Center

2009-09-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

IT WAS ODD NOT TO SEE THE YOUNG band rushing back to the stage after what must have been a solid five minute frenzy of applause and foot stomping. The wood floor at the Cedar Cultural Center in the Riverside neighborhood of Minneapolis was taking a fine beating, for sure. The very place that Mica of band Micachu and the Shapes described as, "The most dignified place we've played."

Here it was, roughly 45 minutes after their first song and the audience wanted more of lead singer Micachu, a diminutive blond tough, and her band The Shapes. Of course they did -- the music was jaw dropping, futuristic, and demanded at least a bounce and bob. And when they were finished with their set of what Micachu categorizes as Pop music, I wanted more, too. Even when, at one point of the show when she adjusted her ukulele-thing to be perfectly out of tune. The audience groaned in agony; I felt a bit of excited anticipation. How was this going to work?

Micachu, aka Mica Levi, is in her early twenties and has been writing and playing music since she was four. The band was invited here from London via The Walker Art Center. From the program: "She is classically trained and is best known for experimental music in a variety of genres. Levi was born in Surrey (1987) and raised in Bow, East London...While a student at Guildhall, Levi was commissioned to write an orchestral piece for the London Philharmonic Orchestra which was performed at the Royal Festival Hall in April 2008."

With a background like that, it's no surprised she made a wildly out of tune Uke ultimately sound great. It worked. And it was exciting.

Mica's Shapes clearly have a great time on stage, too. Raisa Kahn plays the Midi keyboard, cowbells, and cymbal. Marc Pell is a drum machine. The both of them also do backup vocals. They're a young lot, like I mentioned, but they are a complex rhythm section to be sure. A few of us in the audience stopped bobbing, hypnotized by the synchronized blast of electronic blips, cow bells, a small zither (zina?) backing up Micachu's modded, heavily strummed over-sized ukulele-looking thing.

And here we were, begging for more of it. Our shouts remained unanswered. Turns out they couldn't decide on what their encore should be. Lucky for us they figured it out eventually. They had to dig way back to some earlier material.

I'm sure they have many more dignified performance venues in their future -- let's hope more in Minnesota, too. In the meanwhile, find their album Jewellery on iTunes. My favorites at the moment are Calculator, Wrong, and Guts.

Raimund Hoghe, Boléro Variations at The Walker Art Center

2009-09-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

RAIMUND HOGHE AND HIS TROUPE HAD TWO shows at the Walker Art Center this past weekend. He showed audiences his closeups. It was an interesting show, considering he didn't display photographs or paintings on a wall -- he zoomed in using dance on a stark black stage.

The show, entitled Boléro Variations, included Hoghe himself along with dancers Ornella Balestra, Lorenzo De Brabandere, Ammanuel Eggermont, Yutake Takei, and Nabil Yahia-Aïssa*. They danced to 15 different songs in the style of Boléro; all the songs were beautiful except for one version which I thought was funny. The music itself was fine, but the version they danced to was also used for an ice-skating competition. So the audience heard how it sounds on tv -- cheering, the commentators, and worst of all, that booming echoing and distorted sound of classical music in a large stadium.

To put it simply, the dance moves were slow. But slow does not by any means mean simple. Slowing down the motions caused the small details become larger, and then those details seemed to morph into something different altogether. Like when you stare at a word until it no longer looks like a word, for instance. It was in this way that Boléro Variations began to feel like a show of closeups. To even the untrained eye -- mine -- many dance steps and postures were recognizable throughout the show. They were glimmers of recognition throughout the performance -- the flourish of a matador, the smooth steps of an ice-skater skating backward, the precise pose of a flamenco dancer with castanets, and even roboto! At one point I think I even saw the I'm A Little Tea Cup pose, but again -- my dance eye is not a trained one.

It quickly became obvious that this must have been a very physically demanding show for the performers. It was like watching a strong-man show, but the men lifting 500 pounds in each hand were not allowed that initial burst of energy to get the weights in the air. And again, the slowness of the dancing couldn't help but force a closeup look, and the repetition caused second guesses at what I was actually seeing. At many points during the 2-hour long performance I was no longer seeing people, but organisms moving about. At other times I was seeing human bodies, but unable to distinguish what may be different or strange from one set of bulging muscles to the next.

There were a handful of moments when the action sped up, such as during a Jitterbug sequence, or when Hoghe zig-zagged about the stage, sashaying and spraying what could have been perfume. Highly enjoyable.

Here are some interesting facts about Hoghe via Galen Treuer for the Walker Blogs, as well as Hoghe's website

*Nabil Yahia-Aïssa, sadly, was not able to perform due to very last-minute problems with his Visa. The Department of Homeland Security has a problem with the fact that he was born in Algeria.

Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame and Museum, Hayward, Wisconsin

2009-09-16T13:39:00.000-07:00

THE FRESH WATER FISHING HALL OF FAME AND MUSEUM in Hayward, Wisconsin is home to the biggest fish that I have ever seen in my life.

Of course, I knew that well before I arrived, but it was quite surreal to have what I pictured in my mind outdone by what is actually there. They have world record sized fish on display, including a 40 pound, 4 ounce Brown Trout and a 22 pound, 11 ounce Walleye.

But the large fish I am specifically referencing is also the hall of fame's focal point: Muskellunge!

This musky was made by Jerry Vetrus of F.A.S.T. Corp (Yes! The very Vetrus that is the subject of the forthcoming documentary Bunny and I are working on). In 1978 the Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame added a four and a half story tall, half a city block long fish to their pond. It actually is in -- rather, above -- a pond stocked with real fish. Additionally, the musky's innards are stuffed to the gills with museum memorabilia! Old fishing lures, taxidermied fish, fish sculptures, and photos literally line the stomach all the way up to its gills. At which point visitors are welcome to stare out over the museum's grounds from the musky's spike-toothed mouth.

The musky isn't alone in the backyard of the museum. There are many other bigger than life fiberglass fish in various jumping and swimming poses. In fact, when it's raining, one might think they've fallen into a pond á la Land of the Lost. There is a giant sun fish, trout, and a Walleye to name just a few. There are countless photo opportunities and even more "I caught one this big" jokes.If you're not familiar with Hayward, Wisconsin, it might seem odd to put such a vast museum seemingly out in the middle of nowhere. But according to Emmett Brown, the museum's Executive Director, the location is sort of an epicenter for cabin-goers and fishing enthusiasts. And there certainly seems to be a steady stream of vacationers visiting the museum. While looking at a display of fish I heard one little boy say to his dad, "I caught one like that today!"

Downtown Hayward is just a few blocks away and is definitely a touristy little vacation town, so there is plenty to see and do. I recommend stopping in to the candy store -- it's spectacular. There is a huge center island with glass jars full of jaw breakers, gummy this-and-thats, and atomic fire balls. There is a wall of jelly beans. There are baskets of every candy you can think of. Most exciting though are the rooms set behind glass where you can watch candy being made, such as their famous almond-brittle.

On the drive home we went through Shell Lake, which also has a fiberglass fish made by F.A.S.T. Corp.!

Hayward, Wisconsin is about a three hour drive from Minneapolis.

Trained Monkey: Name Game, Part II

2009-09-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

Elephant Lino-Cut or Block Print

2009-09-14T15:51:00.001-07:00

THIS IS NUMBER 2/10, AND PENCILED IN THE RIGHT HAND corner is the signature Palmer, along with the date '72. This appears to be a lino-cut or a block print.

I couldn't set it back down once I found it at Unique Thrift in St. Paul's Sun Ray shopping center. I think I've had this for a year or two now. Happy little thing, isn't it?

Stick 'Em Up! Jesse James Days in Northfield, MN

2009-09-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

APPARENTLY WHEN I READ THAT AN event is happening, say, on a Friday, I will think that it is happening on whatever Friday I want. With that said, I went to Jesse James Days in Northfield, MN a whole week early. That's just how excited I was to see a bank robbery.

Granted, it's a re-enactment of a bank robbery, but it's based on quite a famous actual robbery by the James-Younger gang. On September 7, 1876, Jesse James and the Younger brothers rode their horses into the town of Northfield. The gang had their sites on the vault in First National Bank. Townspeople soon realized what was happening and decided to fight the robbers. A gun fight erupted in the street and when the smoke cleared, two members of the gang were dead, as well as two civilians. The other gang members fled.

The re-enactment is a lively one.

The first time I saw the re-enactment was 18 years ago and I remember the horsemen with their authentic clothing billowing and flapping outward as they galloped full-force through town. They went into the bank -- the actual bank! -- for a short time and then came out, blank guns a-shootin'. Clearly the robbery was botched! There was a shootout in the street and a few of the gang members took to their horses and galloped out of town. One cowboy, the one playing Jesse James, put his hot gun back into his holster too soon, though. As he was high-tailin' it out of town, there was a growing plumage of smoke rising out from under his duster.

Little Coco with the James Gang in Northfield, MN. September 7, 1991

The actors ended up having to take a few moments during the re-enactment for some non-factual action: snuffing out Jesse James' smoldering hindquarters.

Here is a great video about what happened after the Younger Brothers were captured, as told by Charlie Rogers, a government records specialist with the state archives at the Minnesota Historical Society.

Despite arriving in town a week early, Bunny and I took advantage of exploring historic downtown Northfield without the crowds and found some excellent places to visit again when we go today, this Friday, the weekend of September 11, for the actual Jesse James Days.

Not only are there re-enactments, there are other activites going on all weekend, such as a horse shoe hunt. Here is a list of events on the Defeat of Jesse James Days website.

I recommend eating at The Tavern of Northfield Restaurant, a restaurant that boasts being a "scratch" kitchen. Which means many of their items, you guessed it, are made from scratch, in-house. For instance, they make their own red and alfredo pasta sauces, bread, and soup. Bunny and I started with a ridiculously wholesome, fresh, Granny Smith apple, cheese, and bread plate. Then for our main dish we split a full order of fettuccine alfredo, served with a giant slice of homemade garlic bread. Everything was so scrumptious, especially with that home-made taste.

"It's a good thing to work here in the mornings and eat all the fresh bread you want," our waiter said. Then jokingly, "It can be a bad thing, too."

There are always two soups on the menu, one of them is always their chicken soup and on the day we were there, Bunny and I had a hearty tomato basil soup. There is also a full bar and a specialty drink menu including a deliciously tangy, peppery, bloody mary that comes with a jalepeño pickle. YUM!

If you're not hungry, I suggest stopping in just to look at the place. If you're over 5'10" you'll want to watch your head. The restaurant has low ceilings, as it's in the basement quarters of the historic Archer House. The ceiling is arched and the floor plan is small. But once I sat in the spacious, high-backed booth, I didn't feel cramped at all. The ambiance, coupled with the home-cooking, was worth the hour drive. If the inside isn't to your liking, there is patio seating along Northfield's excellent River Walk. A Bald Eagle flew right over us while we were walking along the river!

Northfield, MN is only an hour's drive from Minneapolis going South on 35W.
Tavern of Northfield Restaurant: 212 Division St S. 507.663.0342

I Joined A Band: The Dirty Curls' First Performance and Other News

2009-09-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

IT WAS A BUSY WEEKEND FOR COURTNEY McLEAN and the Dirty Curls!

As reported by yours truly, the washboard player:
We began our Saturday, September 5, afternoon rehearsing songs and going through the motions of a tech rehearsal at the Bryant-Lake Bowl. The preparations are for a show we'll be performing in at 10pm next Saturday, September 12, as part of Women Stand Up! A Comedy Cabaret, presented by EOS Productions.

The rehearsal went smoothly, and since we were the last act of the day for tech rehearsal, they let us spend some extra time on stage to rehearse further for our evening performance at Bedlam Theatre. We were included in a lineup of several acts making up the night's show -- the Super Romp! -- in which all proceeds go toward Bedlam's famed Halloween Bare Bones show.

This was a fun night, and the Bedlam even put out a nice spread of food for all the performers. Courtney McLean and the Dirty Curls ended up performing first that evening. We had a wonderful time and the audience really enjoyed McLean's naughty and hilarious lyrics.

The emcee for that show, Foxy Tann of Foxy Tann and the 'Wham-Bam Thank-You Ma'ams' also performs at the Ritz Theater. She dug the Dirty Curls' act, so hopefully we'll be performing at the Ritz at some point!

Sunday afternoon, we were able to do some studio recording. Even though the band is relatively new, it seemed like a good opportunity so we all jumped at the chance. What the hell, right? It was loads of fun.

And then we ended up staying the night at a farm.

Where else would you expect us to end up? So we took advantage of our surroundings on Monday, Labor Day, to shoot a music video.
Here it is -- mildly NSFW.

In the meantime, mark it dude:
Bryant-Lake Bowl, Saturday September 12
10pm, $12-15 pay what you can/ $8 with a Fringe button

or

Buy tickets online here, through Brown Paper Tickets.

DIY Steve McQueen Belt Buckle

2009-09-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Coco pictured in her DIY Steve McQueen shirt, too!
I'VE SEEN A STEVE MCQUEEN belt buckle show up on Ebay a few times. I never bid on it because it looked like something I could make myself.

I was in Schatzlein Saddle Shop in the Lyn/Lake neighborhood of Minneapolis and found a pink belt WITH buckle on sale for $3.90! The buckle had a giant silver letter I on it, but for this project it didn't matter.

This was a deal I could not pass up, as when I shopped for belt buckles in the months leading up to now, buckles alone proved to be a little on the expensive side.

How I made my buckle:

• Pried off the I with a screw driver
• Peeled off the pink vinyl -- it peeled off without any trouble at all!
• Picked out a photo online of Steve McQueen that I thought would look great on the buckle
• Printed off the photo
• Applied two coats of Mod Podge to adhere and seal the image to the buckle

And here we have it! Can you guess what movie this image is from?

PS. The braided rim of the buckle is part of the original buckle, I just forgot to take a photo of it before I tore off the I and the pink vinyl.

Closeup at The 2009 Minnesota State Fair

2009-09-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

View this set on flickr.

Junk Yard

2009-09-02T13:42:00.001-07:00

Another movie I made inspired by the Sesame Street short documentaries.