Your Face is a Sports Blog

...Or How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Love the Lingerie Football League

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:43:22 PST

Image via WikipediaIn sports, there’s a level of inverse proportionality that usually comes into play - the more hype there is surrounding an event, the more lackluster it usually becomes. The big...

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Lane Kiffin Is Your New USC Head Coach And I Think I'm Going To Be Sick

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:34:03 PST

I’ve been spending the past hour writing and rewriting a post about Lane Kiffin bailing on Tennessee after one season to become USC’s new head football coach. I get a paragraph or so in, and then I...

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Coming To Terms With Not Caring About Pete Carroll

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 14:46:41 PST

Up until today, I’ve been hesitant to write anything about Pete Carroll’s departure from USC to become the head coach of the Seattle Seahawks. This might be surprising to a lot of you who know me as...

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Dick Enberg, the Padres and Announcers Who Are Ready for the Retirement Home

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 01:58:15 PST

A few weeks ago I was perusing some sports news online when I came across a story that literally made me do a double take. It didn't involve a player or a coach, but a broadcaster. It was the news...

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Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:00:00 PST

Your Face is a Sports Blog: Sports Motivational Posters
Big Huge Labs has a fun program where you can make your own "Motivational" poster. You know, the one that your cheesy boss has of a rock climber that says something like "Endurance: Having the grit to hang tough"? So I thought, there are certainly some posters that could be made involving athletes in the news.

Sports Motivational Posters

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:57:51 PST

.nobr br { display: none }Big Huge Labs has a fun program where you can make your own "Motivational" poster. You know, the one that your cheesy boss has of a rock climber that says something like...

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Waffle House signs Tiger Woods to endorsement deal

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:19:23 PST

Norcroft, GA - After losing several high-profile endorsements in recent weeks, Tiger Woods gained a rare new endorsement on Sunday, as Waffle House announced they had inked the embattled golfer to a...

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Welcome home, I guess...

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:05:57 PST

Apparently, my personal worth was $10 a post. That’s how much it took to lure me away from this blog – which gave me just about as much enjoyment as anything I’ve been associated with in my life...

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Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:00:00 PST

Kraig Kinser is out at Tony Stewart Racing
Former Knoxville Nationals champion Kraig Kinser has been released from his contract with Tony Stewart Racing, according to a statement from the team. Kinser spent the past two seasons at Tony Stewart Racing after returning to the World of Outlaws following a two-year sabbatical while he pursued a career in NASCAR, serving as the No. 2 driver behind four-time series champion Donny Schatz.

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Fans, drivers make donations for Travis Rutz's recovery
Canadian sprint car driver Travis Rutz was placed in a medically-induced coma on Tuesday night ahead of planned surgery today to repair an artery behind his left eye, according to a posting on his official recovery site. Rutz suffered life-threatening head injuries during a three-car crash during an All Star Sprint Circuit of Champions race on Sunday at the Terre Haute Action Track.

NASCAR reviews in-race Twitter policy after 20-car crash

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:09:05 PDT

NASCAR officials today announced that they would review their social media policies after driver Robby Gordon caused a 20-car crash while posting a status update during this weekend’s Pep Boys 500 at...

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Bobby Bowden: now 75 percent lifelike!

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:53:23 PDT

I’ve awoken from my stupor of college football, chocolate Zingers and RC Cola to reflect on the opening weekend. And not to get too hyperbolic about it, but I can’t remember a weekend loopier than...

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I'll take the credit for Usain Bolt's long jump plans

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:09:03 PDT

I would estimate that 90 percent of the content on this blog is satirical articles with no bearing no relation to reality, where one of us takes a real-life sports situation to the nth degree of...

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Papelbon incredibly supportive of Wagner, acknowledges "the guy's been through a lot"

noreply@blogger.com (McLane) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:47:42 PDT

BOSTON - Jonathan Papelbon welcomed Billy Wagner to the Red Sox yesterday with open arms. The Red Sox fireman pledged to support his new teammate in every possible way after learning from Wagner...

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Jerry Jones installs moat filled with crocodiles at Cowboys Stadium

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:04:14 PDT

DALLAS – In apparent defiance of a week of criticism following a punt hitting the massive HD screen above the field during the first game in his team’s new billion-dollar stadium, Dallas Cowboys...

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Barry Sanders annouces comeback at empty press conference

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 11:54:23 PDT

DETROIT – Hall of Fame running back Barry Sanders, the NFL’s third all-time leading rusher, announced his plans for a comeback at the age of 41 today at a sparsely-attended press conference. Football...

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Snack time with Tom Cable

noreply@blogger.com (McLane) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:09:46 PDT

NAPA, Calif - Oakland Raiders coaches meeting Tom Cable: alright, everyone. Gather 'round. First things first, I want to thank all of you for the hard work you've put in so far this year. You've...

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Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:00:00 PDT

North Korean news report: Kim Jong-Il wins PGA Championships
North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il – disguised as “Y.E. Yang” – won the PGA Championships on Sunday by three strokes over Tiger Woods by shooting a final round 70, the official North Korean news agency reported today. The story credited Jong-Il’s victory to his “unparalleled natural golfing talent,” first evident when he was reported to have shot a round of 38-under par during his first round of golf. In fact, the KCNA story said that Jong-Il had to temper his play in order to avoid suspicion.

Pinklon Thomas: OK at boxing, lousy at singing

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:54:23 PDT

I was going to try and come up with something witty to say about former heavyweight champ Pinklon Thomas' signing career, as detailed in a pre-fight segment before losing the title to Trevor "Larry...

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North Korean news report: Kim Jong-Il wins PGA Championships

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:22:19 PDT

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA - North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il – disguised as “Y.E. Yang” – won the PGA Championships on Sunday by three strokes over Tiger Woods by shooting a final round 70, the...

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Birthers claim Obama can run 2:10 marathon, proving he is Kenyan

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:22:59 PDT

WASHINGTON, DC – Birther movement leader Orly Taitz today produced what called “conclusive” evidence that confirms her group’s claims that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya: video purporting...

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Phelps plans to wear "retro" Victorian swimsuit at London Olympics

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:46:46 PDT

BALTIMORE – Buoyed by his recent haul of five gold medals at the 2009 World Championships while wearing an “outdated” Speedo swimsuit, American swimming superstar Michael Phelps today announced plans...

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Spurrier admits South Carolina defense forgot about Tim Tebow last two seasons

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:16:24 PDT

HOOVER, AL – After admitting that a staff member had forgotten to include former Heisman Trophy-winner Tim Tebow on a preseason All-SEC ballot when filling out a ballot for him, South Carolina head...

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Mr. Perfect scoffs at Mark Buerhle's perfect game from Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:36:47 PDT

HEAVEN – Former professional wrestler Mr. Perfect descended from Heaven yesterday to tell reporters that he was “unimpressed” with the perfect game thrown by Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buerhle...

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Equipment manager commits suicide over missing manssiere

noreply@blogger.com (McLane) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 10:59:49 PDT

An equipment manager for the Miami Dolphins plummeted to his death yesterday evening after Bill Parcells' lucky manssiere went missing. The young man had turned 25 just one week ago. In charge of...

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Jeremy Mayfield blows up gas cans, is not a meth addict

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:35:43 PDT

I was thinking about the Jeremy Mayfield case earlier today after re-reading McLane's post from a few days ago. I was especially hung up on the fact that if he has been using meth for years as his...

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Nude Lee Corso peephole footage leads to shock, revulsion

noreply@blogger.com (The Duke of Everything) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:47:03 PDT

BRISTOL, CT - Just days after ESPN moved to stop the dissemination of a video taken from a hotel peephole showing sideline reporter Erin Andrews nude, network lawyers went into action to stop the...

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My baloney has a first name it's V-A-N-E-S-S-A?

noreply@blogger.com (McLane) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:43:25 PDT

Hot Clicks linked to BlackSportsOnline today and well, HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT ON VANESSA BRYANT'S BREASTS? Ignore the ugly dress, ignore her holding hands with the antichrist, ignore the fact that...

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JEREMYMAYFIELDHASNEVERTAKENMETHAMPHETAMINE!

noreply@blogger.com (McLane) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 12:37:45 PDT

After testing positive a second time for methamphetamine use, Jeremy Mayfield lashed out at the racing world and NASCAR's governing body with a fierce, profanity laced, rambling...

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Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Brock Lesnar apologizes for crushing store clerk's larynx after winning free Slushie
UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar apologized on Wednesday night for breaking the larynx of a Holiday Stationstores clerk and causing more than $75,000 in damage after what he called "an excessive celebration" after he received a winning game piece for a free Slushie during a store promotion.

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Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Tiger Woods has leg shattered in attempt to "get back to 2008 form"
Tiger Woods instructed longtime caddy Steve Williams to smash his surgically repaired left leg and knee late Sunday night in a last-ditch effort to regain the form that saw him win the U.S. Open last year. The reversal of the surgery for a broken leg and torn ACL was deemed “a success” by Woods as he hobbled from the locker rooms at Bethpage Black ahead of Monday’s rain-delayed final round.

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Tue, 09 Jun 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Schatz takes first career Hoosier state victory at Lawrenceburg
It’s hard to imagine there’s anything that Donny Schatz hasn’t done in his illustrious World of Outlaws career. But the three-time defending series champion had never won a race in Indiana - until Saturday night, as he recovered from a difficult Friday night to take the 35-lap finale at the newly-configured Lawrenceburg Speedway.