So, we’ll call him Jim for the sake of this story.

Now Jim is a very fortunate man. He’s fifty, fit and financially sound. He divorced eight years ago, has grown-up kids and a couple of young nephews he loves as if they were his own. He owns his own business which he’s built from the ground up, and which makes him a VERY good living. He plays golf, is passionate about cars, and takes vacations in Hawaii and the Caribbean. In short Jim lives the kind of life many of us would love to be living.

But of course something was missing. Love.

Jim needed to fill the space in his heart, so out and about he went to find a soul mate. He met women online and offline; through dating agencies and friends; through well meaning matchmakers and at professional gatherings; at the theater and even on a plane once. Jim dated some lovely women, but the problem was that none of them was PERFECT.

Jim by now was so set in his ways, that he didn’t know how to make room in his life for another ‘real person’–he had an image in his head, his dream woman, and none of the real, emotional, flawed HUMAN people he met, seemed to measure up to his 10 out of 10 vision of perfection.

And then he met her. Picture perfect, young, fresh, flawless. He fell hard, just like those avalanches I was talking about last week–completely, chaotically, loudly and MESSILY. Anyone caught in his path got swept away. She was the ONE. Jim moved heaven and earth to woo this delectable young lady, with the face as smooth and beautiful as a piece of fine porcelain. They started dating.

At first all went well. Jim swept her off her feet with lavish dinners, trips to the Spa, weekends away in Vegas, and even a surprise trip to Paris. He bought her gifts, jewelry and flowers every week.

At first she seemed to enjoy Jim’s company as much as he did hers. They would talk intensely, laugh at each others jokes, have fun and of course make crazy ‘passion.’ But before too long, within a matter of only a few weeks, Jim noticed some troubling signs. She’s was irritable with him, seemed distracted–bored even. She’s make excuses not to see him on certain nights, and when she did, wasn’t as affectionate as before.

And her demands got greater too. She was unimpressed with the one carat earrings, and under-whelmed with anything that wasn’t from Prada, Channel or some equally prestigious brand name…

Jim started trying harder. More expensive gifts, more exotic trips away, a credit card with a $25,000 limit, and even a sports car. He took more time away from his business, a day here and there, and then a week, or even two. He’d go in late in the mornings, but was struggling to put his heart back in it at all…all he could think about was her, and the creeping dread that he was about to lose his dream.

He started driving by her house those evenings he wasn’t with her, snooping through her pockets when he was. Jim got more desperate, she got more dismissive and disgusted with him, and the whole thing spiraled into a car wreck of a situation.

She left him of course. And Jim is still paying a heavy price. Not only did he spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to buy her affection, but he let his business go downhill too, and is now desperately trying to get back to where he was before he met her. It’s going to take a long time. Lots of customers are not generous with second chances as Jim is discovering. He let himself go as well, physically, emotionally and mentally. His confidence is battered too.

Jim found out things about himself that he really didn’t like: his poor judgement, his superficiality, his almost-adolescent grabbing for a girl half his age, his innate jealousy, his willingness to sacrifice his self-respect. He learnt how fragile the whole facade of his life had been, and how easily it could collapse. These are valuable lessons indeed, but I know Jim would rather never have had to learn them. Yup, Jim squandered money, friendships, peace of mind–even success–chasing vaporware.

Jim knows now that he was wrong-headed. He was thinking with his ego, and his libido, not his heart. That he mistook yearning, for loving. He tried to make something fit that was never going to, like shoes that are way too tight but you keep wearing regardless of blisters, pain and ugly rubbing, because you think if you persevere you’ll finally mould those darn shoes to fit you. Yup, Jim was trying to make the wrong shoes fit.

I wanted to share Jim’s story, as it’s one that as a Life Coach, I see way too often in different versions and flavors. As more and more folks get divorced a great many find themselves single and hopeful that they will get a chance to find love a second, or even third, time around. Some carry a ton of old emotional baggage, others arrive at this place, mature and confident (just like Jim), but nearly all of them arrive with unreasonable expectations. Too many end up trying to force-fit their ideals into a too-tight shoe.

I am a great believer in soul mates. I know that when you are with the right person, it may not be all sweetness and light, you might verbally tussle with each other now and again, you may disagree on lots of things, you may enjoy different past-times, and have different ambitions. You may like different foods, have different friends, spend a lot of time apart, disagree on politics, and vacations. But I also know that NONE of that matters as long as you share a deep mutual trust, respect, affection and connection; an easiness and an openness so that whenever you are together it feels just like coming home after a long, hard trip; a sense of ‘safeness’ born of knowing that your back is covered by your best friend; a shared, quiet delight in each other that’s hard to explain, but that seeps into your bloodstream, warms your heart and that you slip on like a favorite pair of snug, soft, comfortable slippers.

If you’re struggling to decide if you’re in the right relationship, just ask yourself one simple question: “Am I Trying To Make The Wrong Shoes Fit?”

Are you trying to make the wrong shoes fit? is a post from: Your First Memory

As is common with a relationship that is not only fulfilling and rewarding, being involved with a Romanian woman, only if you are with your perfect match, is likewise an experience that would surely bring you into the comfort zone of a relationship level that is the envy of all. Men often die to know the top secrets that would make Romanian women fall for them.

As an advice, be choosy when it comes to searching for a Romanian woman partner. Find the best. Look at the profiles of your choices carefully. You would not want anything else but the best partner for you to live with. The truth is, Romanian women hardly put their trust on other people. So this is the homework that you would have to work on. Why should you be spending your precious time in sticking with a woman who is not your match? Better yet, take a look at the pointers to keep in mind as you work out in making a Romanian woman fall for you.

Here are the top tricks to keep in mind when you aim towards attracting a Romanian woman from a dating service.

First, Romanian women prefer intelligent talks with their men. If you can inject humor most of the times and keep up with interesting topics for conversation, the better. Intelligent men are for them sexy and interesting. How would you do it? Act as someone who is a good listener. Talk about her work, her hobbies, interests, and be very keen with such details.

Second, they value the importance of your word. Don’t make promises which you may be unable to fulfill.

Third, send them SMS messages or write them notes that would definitely stir up their emotions. Use words that would surely melt their hearts. This would ensure that your relationship is attaining a firm foundation.

Fourth, spice up your talks by using humors, anecdotes, and the likes. Flirting is allowed too. Romanian women often remember those men who are able to paint a smile on their faces.

And finally, be real. Don’t pretend. Show them who you really are. Don’t complicate things by boiling up fictitious details about yourself. If you mean to keep them, be genuine.

Take note that these women also wish to find their Mr. Perfect from the Romanian dating services. Prove them that you are whom they are looking for. Be the partner who would make them feel loved and respected. Romanian women can be all too picky as well.

Romanian Dating Services: Things to Keep in Mind is a post from: Your First Memory

These dating services are provided by mobile phone companies. A user is first made to register using a chat name. Then he makes his own profile. Your profile is then sent to a database which any registered member can access. By sending some keywords to a number, the mobile phone company sends you a list of names that fall within the criterion that you want. You can then send messages to these chat names, although you do not know their mobile numbers yet. After a few exchanges, you may want to give your mobile number and decide to meet in person. These dealings are now outside the scope of the services that the phone company provides.

Telephone dating services have come a long way since its introduction a decade ago. Back then, you’d see their ads on TV or the yellow pages, indicating the number to call. You will then call and leave a phone message. Others whom you may be interested with are going to listen to your message by dialing the same voice mailbox. If interested, he or she would also leave a message for you to retrieve. This is so much like an email correspondence, except that you get to hear the voice this time. After a couple of exchanges, you will then decide if you’re going to meet and actually date.

This has led to the development of video dating services, where video messages are made instead of ordinary phone messages. Through this, you are able to see the person instead of just hearing the voice.

Phone dating is actually different from phone sex companies. For the latter, you’d be asked to dial a certain 1-900 number, and female operators are on standby to give you a good time by engaging in some sexy conversation. Here, there is no actual dating involved.

Because of the popularity of these dating services, you can now start your own phone dating company by buying the software and some equipment at a low cost. But before you join any of these companies, know your options well. Look for companies which have been tried and proven to provide quality service.

Things may come and go, but phone dating services are sure to stay. It is a convenient and fast way to meet new people. But these services can only go as far as searching for somebody who might be fit for you. If you decide to move your relationship to the next level, then you have to work on it. Or it could be that you click really well in so far as phone conversations or texting, but not in real life. In other words, phone dating can be a great way to start. But if you want a lasting relationship with someone, you would have to meet and be with each other in the real world.

What are Phone Dating Services? is a post from: Your First Memory

Unless she truly hates you, this will surely put a smile on her face and have her inviting you back into her comfort zone again.

Be sure to pick a humorous or joyful song; go for a sense of fun, not desperation.

2. Pay a Homeless Guy $5 to Hold Up a Sign for Her

If you live in a major metropolitan area, chances are you and your girlfriend regularly walk by homeless people.

They would love to have $1, let alone $5. Find a homeless person along the route she usually walks on her way to work.

Come up with a witty sign, like “Angela, John Would Like to Apologize for Going to Poker Night Instead of Visiting with You and Your Family. Will you Forgive him? – From John”

Or whatever — be sure to be creative and witty. I guarantee she will get a kick out of this. You might have to show the homeless guy a picture of her so he knows he needs to get her attention, but having her name on the sign should do the trick.

3. Propose Marriage to Her at a Baseball Game

This one only works if she will go with you to a sporting event. During 7th inning stretch, half-time or throughout the event, they will often post announcements up on the big screen displays throughout the stadium.

Before the game, visit the gaming office where you can tell them to make these announcements, and say that you’d like to make on for a wedding proposal. (or perhaps just to say hi, if she wouldn’t react nicely to a full-on practical joke like this!)

Be sure to keep an eye on the big screen throughout the game, so as not to miss the announcement.

4. Write Your Message in the Sky

We’ve all seen this in the movies, but how many people actually have the guts to go through with it in real life?

For as little as $100, you can hire an airplane to fly a message to your girlfriend across the sky.

4 Unique Ways to Get Out of The Doghouse with Your Girlfriend is a post from: Your First Memory

Choose very well your target. Maybe it is there a beautiful sexy lady after you look anytime you see her on the street, but you never think that you will have a chance with her. Why don’t you try to seduce her, maybe you’ll win. But before you start, you must know that there are a few steps in seducing a woman:

- you have to be ready so get over your past rejection, overcome your shyness and clear your mind and think about what about you are going to talk with her

- interrupt her and get her attention next time when you see her; initiate with women, it takes guts to ask her out, ask her phone number

-create a conversational connection with her and show that you are able to understand her, make her sees you as romantic partner; lots of women love this

Considering that you get your first date with her, here are some tips for seduction that might help you:

-first of all, train your mind and focus on your goal, and remember that your goal is to get that woman; so you must know which are the mistakes from the past, and not make them again

-choose the perfect place for effective seduction, a place with a comfortable atmosphere, avoid places too bright lights or too dull ambiance

-eliminate every possible obstacle; convince yourself from the beginning that you can seduce her, even if you never did this before

-be yourself, show that you are well groomed and watch out about the basis hygiene; no women like a man with dirty clothes, or with a smell breath

-relax and smile as often as you can but be controlled; you just have to please her

-eyes contact it is very important when seducing; eyes are capable of showing your deepest emotions but watch out to not stare at her

-let her know that you are interested; women like to make them feel good about themselves

-the first impression usually last: show her that you are not interested only for sex

-have the right attitude – fearless and not arrogant, convince her that you are confident in your own skin

-do not shutter or look nervous, a confident person has much more chance of seducing

-have self confidence, sense of humor and self control

-show her that you are a gentleman; not many men from our days are; treat her like a princess, respect her for what she is and compliment her

-do not touch her in an offensive way; touch her slightly on her hands and even shoulders and you will see what’s next

-tease her; a woman will be attracted to men who tease and challenge her; teasing raises frustration which starts her attraction; if you are wanted by other women, you will command her respect and attraction

-be creative; you may buy her a nice gift and be genuine when you give it to her

-learn to dance; nothing turns on a person more than dancing, as you can get intimidate with each other without feeling awkward

-prepare your conversation; indulge a conversation that interest her too; women like intellectual conversations; talking will break the ice and seduction becomes more easier since the woman is comfortable; best way to start a conversation is with a genuine compliment

Women are attracted to specific, confident traits in men and your behavior demonstrates them. So start watching what women actually respond to, not what they say they want.

17 Seduction Tips is a post from: Your First Memory

1. Cry: You are going to feel like rubbish for the first few weeks. Depending how emotional of a person you are, you may feel like crying for days. Go ahead. A significant change has occurred in your life; a painful change. There is no way to expect that you will feel a little sadness and be able to shut it off with a switch. It’s just not that simple. Allow yourself to grieve for your loss. But not too long! Staying in the past for too long can only hurt you. See rule number 4.
2. Talk to Someone Close: Use the shoulder of someone who cares about you to get out your feelings. This is a way to purify your soul by letting someone in to share your pain. Let them listen, comfort you, and offer advice. You don’t necessarily have to take that advice, but sharing this comfort can make you feel better. Make sure you only allow yourself to grieve and lean on someone for a time because you need to move forward.
3. Distract Yourself: Bring friends you care about back into your life. Maybe having the relationship was keeping you from spending time with your parents, or siblings. Maybe you hadn’t talked to your best friend in weeks. Surround yourself with this support network. Getting things that need to be done around the house done is a great way to get lost in a project. Go to the gym. Organize your closet. Get out and take a walk. Distracting yourself is a great stepping stone to moving on with your life. This brings us to rule number 4.
4. Look toward the Future; Forget the Past: Once you have allowed yourself the indulgence of grieving for a part of your life that is now past, look forward! There is a definite need to be able to start a new chapter in the book of your life. Now that you are past the sadness and anger, it is time for hope and renewal that will help you to move on. Take time out for yourself; get to know yourself as a single individual instead of as part of a couple. Replenish your soul by becoming you again.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

4 Steps to Help Heal a Broken Heart is a post from: Your First Memory

Ask questions such as – Am I happy in my marriage/ Is my partner happy? Am I emotionally satisfied? What about my partner? Is marriage giving us joy or pain? Are we still in love? Is one of us feeling victimized? Shall we grow together till our old age? Are we loyal to each other? What kind of relationship do we share now? Are we feeling sick of each other? And so on. Raise as many questions about your marriage, yourself and your partner as you can think of. Take some online tests and quizzes on marriage and relationship. That will give lot of thought to your mind.

As you think of questions, you will start thinking more deeply about where you are heading. Find out all that is going wrong. Try to improve that. Discuss with your partner about what you think. Find out all that is going right. Make it still better. Think, plan and act. Before thinking, test your marriage in all the possible ways. Wake up now. Tomorrow may be too late.

Divorce – Are You Heading Towards It? Test Now is a post from: Your First Memory

Well, so far so good. The first few years of married life are wonderful – a series of romantic attempts on the part of both parties to ‘complete each other’. The mantra seems to be ” You and I together – we don’t need anybody else. Honey, to hell with the world, we have each other.” But the very purpose of coming together appears to get defeated as the new couple tends to isolate itself in a world of its own. Instead of being lonely separately, now they are lonely ‘together’.

Slowly, of course, things changes some more, as in the want of all human relationships. After struggling to find and firmly establish a united identity, suddenly the couple struggles for individuality once again. Where is the I and Me within the Us and We of marriage? Well, you would have better luck looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack as by now “you don not give me enough time” has turned into “you do not give me enough space”! But it is no one’s fault. You see, that’s the nature of marriage. Each shrinks space. Your space. All space.

So you could be sitting in a large, decent size room, enjoying the view outside the window, when suddenly your better half enters. And then, it’s the same room, the same view except that it’s smaller now. It’s about half its size. But of course, you have to be married to know what I am talking about.

So loneliness, did you say? Within marriage? Honey, some days I get reduced to “just give me an hour of peace. And quiet. Alone. And don’t even call”. So forget it. In a ‘good marriage’, there is no scope for being lonely. Heck. There is no time for it. Not with kids. The word has almost dynasoric connotation. When were married women so blessed?

Are You Married, Yet Lonesome Tonight? is a post from: Your First Memory

Kelleher International has been known for bringing together popular personalities all over the world. It has been welcoming individuals who are single to find the perfect match for themselves for themselves in a short time span. It is not a dating portal as seen with other matrimony portals, but it has been running efficiently in the field of perfect matchmaking over the past years. Getting married is the most important part of your life, and finding a perfect soul mate is as difficult. Kelleher has been guiding various clients in searching the best partner for themselves. The professionals associated with this portal have been working hard and given their full dedication to this company for the past twenty years. They are selected after a tough selection process and interview.

Kelleher International has kept the objective in mind that as people are busy with their daily schedules and they hardly have time to find an ideal partner, why not help such people out. In their search, the portal first approaches it clients and discusses in detail their partner preferences. Then they conduct a match with their database. They keep in mind each and every point listed by the client. The office of this portal is located in many states of the US such as Florida, California and so on. If you are not residing in America, it doesn’t matter, you can still connect with this portal and it will surely help you out in your partner search. It has been seen that people from all over the world feel proud to be associated with this site as it has known all over the globe for conducting ideal partner searches in a short time.

Kelleher International: Matching Soul Mates From All Over The World is a post from: Your First Memory

With all this sacrifices to show her your feelings, to keep your relationship as cool as it was at the beginning, you feel that you have to make something more interesting. That’s why you should induce “magic “into your relationship even if you are hopeless romantic or not. To add more intimacy, love, understanding and compassion in any relationship is always welcome.

So, here are some magical things to do in order to impress your partner in a good way and increase your relationship:

1.Surprise her by taking her lunch and coffee at bed right after she woke up; if you didn’t do this before she will definitely be impressed; also cooking a pizza for her and cut it in a heart shape it is very romantic; a woman will
always find interesting a man who is able to cook for her, no matter what kind of food it is; even if it wouldn’t be too tasty, she will appreciate that you have tried

2.Set up a picnic in the park; even it is an usually day, prepare all you need for a picnic, go get your girlfriend and go for a walk; don’t tell her from the beginning what you plan to, let it be a surprise; a ‘ going out’ at a picnic in
the fresh air is always welcome and relaxing

3.Send her flowers anytime and anywhere, that is unexpected; women love flowers, so sending her flowers without any reason will demonstrate her
that you really care about and make her feel loved and special; the most probably that she will answer you with the same love you show her

4.Fill her apartment with balloons or something she likes, maybe it’s a crazy idea, but it usually works to impress girls; it will be seen as a funny thing by your partner and remember that some fun is necessary in any relationship

5.If you are good at writing, write her a poem, or create a book for her with a specialdedication; this will definitely work if she love poems; don’t begin to write a poem only if you know that you are good at it, other way you
will screw up

6.Reading romantic poetry in the middle of the living room on a blanket in soft candlelight, it is a very good way to offer your partner a wonderful evening; women are often more romanticthan men, that’s why they like to be surprised by men with romantic ideas

7.Massages are always magic when done right; buying different flavored edible bars to experiment with each other can be more surprising; but if you are not good at making massage, go to a spa together and get a couples massage together

8.Go for a romantic meal; make reservations at a beautiful restaurant and create a romantic atmosphere with candles, roses and slow music; offer her a night to never forget

9.Going for a walk at night and looking at the stars and moon is almost such romantic as the restaurant, and is cheapest; so it is not necessary to have a lot of money to offer your partner a lovely evening; it can be very interesting

10.If you can afford it, take her in holiday in an exotic place, like a beautiful island, only you two alone, with sunshine and plenty of water, where you will spend a wonderful time together, and will not be disturb by friends, family, relatives

11.But, if you can’t afford to go in a exotic place, to the sea, there’s no problem; bubble baths together are always magic times;

12.Surprise visits; surprise her with your visits when she is not expecting at all; while you are able to surprise her in a good way, she will not lose interest in you

13.Don’t be afraid to talk sweet nothings into her ear; make the woman feel good by saying sweet and romantic things to her at any given time; as
i sad, women love romance

13 Magical Things to do in a Relationship is a post from: Your First Memory