Your Inner Voice

Time Keeps on Getting Ahead of Me

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 02:27:00 +0000

It is 9:28 PM EST on December 31, 2010 that I begin to create this blog.

I have not been here for awhile to share and when I saw that my last blog was posted on December 15, 2009 I said....it's been a year....already!!!

In 2010 I turned 40 and I swear that time is speeding up. I see movies that I thought I just saw and then realize that they came out in 2008 or 2009 and I'm like....it's been that long ago???

Well I am entering the last couple of hours of 2010 and am ushering in the new year of 2011 and as I prepare to do so I decided to visit my long lost blog and offer something to the Universe. :)

I'm not sure if any one comes across what I write since I do not promote or advertise what I write here to others but still I suppose that if someone where to happen across Your Inner Voice blog they might...just might find something of inspiration to take away from my rantings.

2010...man I swear if you asked me to give you a list of all that happened this year I could probably not do so because it flew by me so fast.

So I won't create a laundry list of things that happened to me in 2010...I'll just say that it was a rocky one but I'm still here.

I am still breathing the Life Breath of God and for that I must be thankful. To all those beings who made their transition in 2010 I say.....how wonderful is it to be back in the full stream of light, love and pure consciousness? I am sure that your loved ones miss and desire to be with you but congratulations on your return HOME.

To those of us who are going to be in the land of the living as our local times zones click into 2011 I say.....here we go again...another beginning.

As I think about what I can do to usher in the new year I realize that I must first lighten my load because these days my mind has been weighted down by worry, fear and anxiety and I must make the choice to start anew minus all that.

So tonight in my home my son and I will be performing a clearing of the space we live in and of our persons. We will also list those things that we experienced in 2010 that we would like to leave in that year and not carry over with us into our new beginning which we will burn as a symbolic gesture that they are consumed in the fire never to be looked upon again. Then we will take some time to ask our Selves what are those things we would like to experience in 2011 and list them.

No new years resolutions for us.....just an honest attempt to bring in the new year with a prayer and a new thought and the hope that we will see our lives with a greater optimism then we did in 2010.

That we will love and embrace our perceived differences with more willingness than we did in 2010.

That we will temper our feelings, emotions and the words we speak to each other with more lovingness than we did in 2010.

That we will recall to our minds faster how God's Mind is one with our mind and God's Heart is one with our heart and walk in more peace than we did in 2010.

No regrets in 2010....just situations and experiences that cause me to say.....

I am worthy of much, much more and I am capable of achieving much much more in 2011.

To all of those souls who have passed through my life in 2010 in whatever form or fashion I send you a sincere thought of love and prosperity. Some of you have helped me weather the highs and the lows of the past year and some of you have been the proverbial thorn in my side who caused me to wonder what I did to deserve "all this". But I know that each of you have played your role according to what I have agreed and allowed in my life and I say Thank You.

To myself I say.....you did the best you could with what you knew and had at your disposal at the time and it's ok. It's ok. It's ok.

Be ok...Sukie.

Total Eclipse of the Heart....

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 02:22:00 +0000

Remember in the '80's that song "Total Eclipse of the Heart?" You know the one where the chorus goes...."Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart...nothing left to say....total eclipse of the heart"....or something like that. :-)

Well right now I feel like I'm having a total eclipse of the heart. My heart is being eclipsed by a sense of anger which is slowly but surely covering the light and love that I have spent the last few years attempting to nurture and grow.

This week I have had two situations which have presented themselves and both of them are bringing up in my the rage I thought I had left behind me oh so long ago.

Keeping it real right now so here's what's happening:

First the person I'm "seeing" (no one's ever verbalized it but we live together and are intimately involved) and I had a huge fall out that led to a physical altercation. Yes you read it right....we put our hands on each other. Something I have not experienced for almost 20 years back when I was married and I would explode with anger and fight my husband.

Secondly my son's father just told me that my son cannot spend Christmas with him because his wife does not want my son to visit for the Holidays. Now mind you my son is 11 years old and one of the most loving souls you will meet on this earth. Also note that my son's father was unfaithful to me....let me repeat that in all capitals in case he ever comes across this blog....UNFAITHFUL...and left me to carry a baby and deliver it while he was romancing his girlfriend/fiance/wife.

Now here's where I'm feeling all turned around.....

Over the last 10 years I have consciously worked to reduce how explosive my temper is. I won't go into all the details of how I reacted when provoked but lets just say that like a bull I would see red and my only objective was to inflict serious bodily harm or death to the offending person.

See I grew up with lots of anger in me.....

Anger because I felt my mother loved her mother more than she loved me.
Anger because my mother would beat me and sometimes would do so leaving the physical marks on my light skinned body.
Anger because my mother caused me to believe that if she did not have me she would be better off.
Anger because my Godfather mistook me for a woman when I was around 10 and when my mother found out decided not to "cause any problems with the family" thereby not standing up for me.
Anger because the only father I ever knew left us and when he married again his new wife convinced him not to spend time with me.
Anger because I was the one in the family that got picked on for being different when I couldn't control how light I was or how "flat my butt was".
Anger because every man I was involved with lied to me and left me for someone else.

I could go on but you get the point......

By the time I joined the Marine Corps at 17 I was a human anger bomb waiting for any opportunity to transfer my anger by hurting someone.

But then I had a major event occur in my life. At age 28 I became a mother.

Shortly after having my son I went through a deep depression. I had "suffered" from depression before but this time it was different because I had an infant to care for on my own and I was adjusting to life outside the Corps after almost 12 years of service.

During this time I was experiencing this depressed emotion was one of the darkest times of my life. Everyday as I viewed my life and the world around me all I saw was me in a huge pit with darkness all around me and no conceivable way to escape.

I was able to overcome the depression when my doctor recommended I take "something" to help me think clearer. I agreed and I took an anti-depressant for approximately six months. While the medication helped me manage my life and find a way through this time I released the depressed emotion fully one day when a friend of mine took me to see Anne Graham-Lotz (Billy Graham's daughter). After the message I went for prayer in one of the rooms and as the person prayed for me the depressed emotion was released from my body and to this day I have not experienced depression.

So what does my depression have to do with my situation today? Not totally sure but I felt that I needed to tell that part of my story in case someone who is dealing with the depression comes across this. Know that there is hope and freedom from depression!!!

Back to my total eclipse of the heart.....

As a result of the emotional healing I experienced I came to know that God's love heals and restores and as I mentioned earlier I have spent much time discovering God and removing the anger that has ruled almost 1/2 of my life. I have learned to be more patient with other people and realize that each person's journey is their owns to do with as they see fit. I have learned to smile more and even be kind to people I don't know. I've learned that I can choose to forgive those who "spitefully misuse" me. I have learned that unconditional love is possible. I have learned so much about so much.

So why do I now find myself being faced with the desire to turn from the Light of God and return to the darkness of my anger?

This is what I will ask God and my spiritual guides for clarity on.

Right now I feel the anger again rising in my heart chakra and I want to turn away and hurt people as they hurt me.

But there is a voice that I hear...still and small...saying....you know that God's way is to act in Love towards all beings and that people can only hurt you if you give them the power to do so. You do not know what tomorrow holds so why do you think that you can "fix" these situations by acting out your hurt and anger in retaliation? This is small of you. You must rise above the pain you feel that causes you to want to "show people that your not the one for them to "fuck" with because you will "kill them".

It is time to "Do a New Thing".

And so this is my prayer to the One who keeps me and guides me:

Open my heart to a greater love for My Self so that I might walk in Peace knowing that my life and all that concerns it is created by me and my beliefs about what I experience.

Nothing can touch me unless I give it the power to do so.

If anyone else reads this and is a praying person.....please pray for me that I will continue to act in the Love and Peace of God.

And so its,
IamSukie

It's Been Such A Long Time......

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:02:00 +0000

Namaste all my fellow travelers....

The last blog I wrote and posted was in May 2008. WOW....what happened to me?

Where have I been?

Well I've been....HERE.

Since May of 2008 several events have come into my experience. I attracted two employment opportunities and am currently back at work as an IT Helpdesk Technician.

My son has returned to live with me as I now have the financial means to support us.

I filed the "B" word....and now I am on my way to financial recovery after loosing my home and nearly loosing my car. Those were cold nights when I had to hide my car from the repo man and walk blocks to my house.

Just 5 short years and I can apply for credit again. YIPPIE!!!!! I can't wait....oh wait a minute...that's the kind of thinking that got me into unneeded debt the first time.

Belay my last statement (for those of you who are not familiar with Military jargon that means disregard what I just said).

And that's about the gist of it for me over the last year and a half.

So what brings me back to this Blog that I started in 2008 out of a sense to serve the greater good and assist in the journey to enlightenment we are all on???

I'm glad you inquired :-)

Honestly.....the thought just "hit" me.....you should start writing your blog again. So in an effort to trust my Highest Self and know that my work is inspired by the Divine here I go.

This time; however, I write this from a "different" space of consciousness.

First I am not focused on "if my blog will make me well known". I am only focused on finding an outlet for my thoughts and feelings and if it is meant to Bless someone else...."So Mote it Be".

Secondly even as I write this I'm not checking my verbiage and editing every sentence wondering if echoes all of the Spiritual concepts I have ever read or heard. I'm just trying to let it flow. From my Heart to the world's. (Of course I do want to present myself as a person who knows the parts of a sentence so I guess I'll take the time to proof read and edit these).

It is my prayer sent to the Universe and the Divine that this blog will assist me in discovering my Self and My Inner Voice which I seem to still be ignoring.

I guess you could say I've hid my light under a bushel as the Great Teacher Jesus encouraged us not to do in Luke 11:33 (thanks Julie's Jewels for that scripture location).

And I can feel the dissatisfaction of it all around me..pressing me from all sides. So through these writings I hope to come to know my Self and to honor my Self through the simple form of Self Expression.

Thank you God for Inspiration and Guidance as I journey this path and may your Light, Love and Peace be realized by all Human Kind.

And So It Is, And So it Is, And so It Is.

IamSukie

The Law of Attraction is a Law of Love

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Fri, 09 May 2008 04:58:00 +0000

Namaste,

Recently I've been spending lots of time on the internet sharing knowledge and inspiration with wonderful people all over the world. And I do mean it when I say they are WONDERFUL.

As I've been reading various posts I've noticed that many people who are now consciously aware of the Law of Attraction are asking some very profound questions about how they can use it to create in their lives things like perfect health, more money and healthy and fulfilling love relationships.

Since the LOA (Law of Attraction) has recently gained so much attention although it has been around just as long as gravity (well I assume it has, I wasn't actually there when Spirit created it) I thought I'd share my insights on this magnificent tool by which we are able to create our todays and tomorrows.

I have been consciously working with the LOA for about two years now and I must admit that I have learned allot about Spirit in the process. One of the greatest things I have discovered is that while on the surface the LOA is a tool I can use to create the "things" I want in my life it's greatest gift to me is that it shows me my deepest most intimate thoughts and beliefs about myself and the world I am a part of.

How...simply by doing what it was created to do. The LOA is a mirror which reflects back to us not just what we "say" we want but what we "believe" about what we say want.

For example...if I say that I want to have perfect health in my body but I keep "getting" sick then I am being shown that somehow my beliefs about health are in contradiction to what I am saying.

When the sickness shows up instead of feeling like the LOA did not work or working "harder" to create perfect health I now can choose to expand my awareness about perfect health and as I change what I believe about it the LOA shows me my progress by creating according to my belief.

For me this understanding about the LOA has been a blessing in my life because it has caused me to appreciate it for what it truly is...a LAW OF LOVE.

If we allow it , this law of the Universe can assist us in healing ourselves on the inside first because it knows that when our spirits are fully awake to the Truth of our Being then we will EFFORTLESSLY create in our lives all that we desire...in a moment in a twinkling of an eye.

It is my sincerest hope that others will come to know this powerful truth and consciously choose to use the LOA for more than creating "stuff" and that you will engage it as a means to discover your True Self.

Blessings to you, your partner on the path,
Sukie

Co-Dependent No More

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Thu, 01 May 2008 14:48:00 +0000

Namaste,

Recently I've been working through some residual feelings that I have from a major relationship I have been in and out of over the last three years. The experiences I have had with the other person at one time produced much pain in my life because at that time I desperately wanted and believed that I needed this person to love me and to see my "value".

My statement "working through some residual feelings" means that as my awareness of who I truly am grows I am consciously working toward making peace with the fact that someone I love chooses not to reciprocate that love back to me.

So as I was pondering what to offer you in my next blog I realized that one of the greatest gifts I could share with you is a powerful truth that has taken me almost 20 years to Realize.....

YOU ARE A COMPLETE WHOLE, DIVINE AND UNIQUE BEING (SPIRITUAL AND HUMAN) AND YOU DO NOT NEED THE APPROVAL OF OTHER BEINGS IN ORDER TO BE THAT WHICH YOU ALREADY ARE!!!

My apologies for shouting but I want to make sure you "hear" what I have to say although I know that it is not until you are at the point in your experience where you choose to embrace this Truth that you will fully understand it and experience the freedom that comes with it's knowing.

In our lifetime many of us have experiences that hide this truth from us and we spend much of our lifetime trying to recapture it. But so often we do this to our own detriment as we seek to validate our WONDERFULNESS through others and things.

We act in certain ways so that someone will give us love, we work hard to buy things to show the world that we are important, we rearrange our outside appearance so that people will tell us how nice we look....etc, etc, etc.

When we do these things and those we are seeking validation from choose NOT to give it to us (and remember every person is free to choose their own actions) we then translate that into "I'm not enough".

But I am here to remind you that YOU ARE ENOUGH. Not because of who loves you, what you possess or how you look.

You are enough because YOU ARE A UNIQUE EXPRESSION OF GOD (which I will refer to as Spirit). And it is because of this TRUTH that your are enough because SPIRIT IS ALWAYS ENOUGH!!! (there I go with that shouting again)

The Bible says that God said "Let us make man in our own likeness" that means that all of the wonderful characteristics that comprise Spirit are in you!!! Without question....

Just because somewhere along our lifetime we have become blind to this aspect of our being does not mean it is not so. It is one of the great paradoxes of our lives...we must forget what we are so that we can awake to what we are....

Although it is sometimes a journey laden with disappointments and pain let us remember that we can choose to ask for a greater awareness and we will be given everything we need along the way to come into the knowing of what we are.

And when we come into this knowing we will be set free from our "co-dependencies" of others and things and we will live our lives honoring our greatness even if it means no one else "gets it".

Your Partner on the Path,
Sukie

I Choose Namaste...

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:37:00 +0000

Namaste,

As you can see by my recent posts I always address you with the word "Namaste" and I wanted to take some time to share with you exactly why I choose to address you in this manner.

The word Namaste is an Indian word derived from the Sanskrit language which means "I bow to you". I was first exposed to this word when I attended a local Unity church in South West Atlanta by the name of Hillside Chapel. When ever the founder, ministers or speakers would address the congregation the first thing they said was "Namaste, I behold the Christ (or Divinity) in you. " Then the congregation would reply "And I in You". I found this practice interesting since it was always spoken in a manner which communicated humility and respect from one person to another.

And so it is that I use the word "Namaste" with humility and respect to you as I behold and bow to the Divine within you which is the True you.

I wanted to share my thoughts around this word with you for two reasons, first because whenever you visit my blog or my social network and you read this term it is my desire that my love and respect for the Divinity that lives in each of you be communicated and that you know that what you read is expressed from one Divine being to another.

Second I share this with you in hopes that you will choose to recognize the Divinity that exists in all others (and yes even in those who do not always express themselves from that Divinity) and that in your interaction with them you too would to choose to honor them.

And what is the benefit to meeting others this way? It expands the awareness of our Divinity and the Divinity in others and helps us to act in a loving manner.

When we consciously choose to acknowledge the Divine Being that is inherent in all others we allow our own Divine Being to express it's self towards them. When our Divine Being is expressing itself we act from a space of true power and we move out of our limited self and we create more Love energy in the universe.

Our Divine self which is our true self is then able to co-create with the Divine self of others for the purpose of creating the very things we desire for our lives and these things manifest with effortless ease.

Simply put we get out of our own way with our limited thinking and and allow the Divine to perform "its good and perfect work".

So the next time someone cuts you off while you are driving or acts in a manner that upsets you I hope that before you react that you will take a deep breath, look them in the eyes and also choose to Namaste.

Your partner on the path,
Sukie

Facing My Self....

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:14:00 +0000

Namaste!

Normally when I write my posts I pre-write them so that I can make sure the idea that I have received from Spirit is made clear to you the reader. But today I think I'm just going to do this one on the fly because I just feel like I have something I need to share and it is my prayer that it will bless someone else who might be having a similar experience in their life.

This morning as I was getting ready to start my day I was thinking about a situation that I am currently facing and I was feeling fear around it.

Let me give you some background. Over the last 2 1/2 years I have experienced much disruption in my life. I lost the home I had built to foreclosure, I have not been able to maintain stable employment, I find myself living "paycheck to paycheck" and the biggest disruption of them all... I chose to send my son to live with his Godparents and then his father because I was not in a position to care for him as I would have liked.

So this morning I was looking at my current circumstances and where I find myself and asking "what are you going to do?". You need to bring in a steady stream of income so that you can find a place where you and your son can live, your bank account is almost empty and you have bills that need to get paid, you have no emergency funds and most of all your son is wanting to return home to live with his mother.

Now don't misunderstand me over the last couple of years I have been "trying to make things happen." I have worked at several jobs as an assistant to others and as an IT professional but to my chagrin none of these opportunities have turned into anything concrete. As I write this post I again find myself unemployed. And please know that my dilemma is not around finding a job, because I can get jobs...I just can't seem to keep them. Hmmmmm....that's a post for another time.

So what's a praying and meditating woman to do at a time like this??

Let Go and Let God!!!

By letting go and letting God I mean that I must allow the Spirit of God within me to perform it's good and perfect work. God knows the desires of my heart and I have made my intent known to the Universe that I am willing to serve Spirit for the purpose of seeing the human race realize it's True Nature.

So maybe just maybe I might want to trust that God has heard my prayers and the recent "falling away" of things in my life and the change is in response to my requests.

I know that God is a force that supports each of us in creating the life we want regardless of what that life looks like (we will revisit that statement in another post) and since this is the Nature of God then I need not worry. My intent is life enhancing and God will support me in like manner.

I am being presented with an opportunity to expand my awareness of God and my own True Self through the choices I make. In the midst of what I am currently facing the choices I make and the actions I take will show me if I truly believe the very thing that I profess to others...

THAT THE VOICE WITHIN WILL ALWAYS GUIDE YOU INTO ALL TRUTH AND RIGHT STANDING.

I will keep you all posted as I continue to seek my own inner guidance for my life.

Your partner on the path,
Sukie

In All Thy Getting Get Understanding

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 16:59:00 +0000

Namaste!

The other day while I was at my favorite coffee house (which by the way happens to be Starbucks) one of the guys who works there commented to me that often when he sees me I appear to be deep in thought as if I'm looking for something. I told him I was. So he took the bait and asked me "what are you looking for?". My response..."THE ANSWER".

As I gave my reply to his question more thought I became aware that "the answer" is something that man has been searching for since the beginning of his/her existence in physical form. Man (and please note that when I use the term "man" I am referring to the "human race" as a whole) has put a lot of time and energy in finding the answer and has achieved many great things in pursuit of finding it.

But what is "THE QUESTION" to which we seek an answer for? I would like to suggest that "the question" is different for each of us.

Each of us must create the question for our own selves. Having our own unique question is key to our ability to live a life of and on purpose. And YES I do believe that each of us has a unique purpose.

Having a question gives us a starting point from which we can begin to commune with our inner guidance so that we can begin to remember what we came here to do.

The purpose I speak of here is not one assigned to you by something or someone out there. Our purpose was self ascribed to us before we incarnated into this physical form and this life's journey is about discovering it and fulfilling it.

Your Inner Voice is your companion along your journey and is a "friend that sticks closer than a brother".

Your Inner Voice, which is your true self, desires to guide you along your discovery process and to the answer...which is your TRUTH.

What is your question that you will ask of it?

Blessings to you,
iamsukie

Awake To Your Innervoice

noreply@blogger.com (iamsukie) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:29:00 +0000

Namaste!

This is my first official blog entry at Your Inner Voice. The reason I have decided to create this blog is because I believe that there are others out there like me who are seeking to know something greater.

By something greater I mean...that "thing" in your heart that you know is calling you to live a more awakened and fulfilling life. It's always there drawing you to it and you realize that at some point in this life's journey you will do wise to "heed the call".

My desire is to inspire you to do all that you can to heed that call because I believe that when you do you will awaken to the greatest part of yourself...your TRUE Self!!!

Your True Self is that part of you which has it existence everywhere and as Dr. Wayne Dyer would say...now here. This is the part of you that knows what your life's purpose is and is available to you in every moment to guide you into all Truth.

And when that awakening takes place your life will open up before you and you will experience all the peace, love and abundance that each human being desires to have but so often does not know how to receive.

So I hope you will join me on this journey as I awaken to my own True self and discover a life I truly love and am passionate about so that maybe you too might be inspired to do the same.

Know that I am your partner on the journey here for you every step of the way.

Blessings to You!!!