In speaking to dad, it became clear that time really had shot by at a staggering rate of knots.  I know we all feel like that at times but at eighty years old, it’s not uncommon to feel remarkably mortal as you live your remaining years and to shake your head as you think about the rapid passage of time. My dad likened it to Star Trek when Captain Kirk says, “Warp speed Mr Sulu” and everything accelerates.

When I look at my folks, I see the life I have worked to avoid.  They have worked hard all their lives for scant reward.  They did what many working class people do.  They just got on with it and did enough to pay the bills and hopefully have a little to set aside.  Which didn’t really happen in our case and Christmas was always on the ‘never never’ in a time before credit cards funded the lifestyle of so many.

My parents are quite happy with their lot these days although it hasn’t always been like that.  Year after year of robbing Peter to pay Paul created immense stress and frictions.  As happy as they now seem to be, I wonder if they ever sit down and ask themselves if it could have been different.

I think it could have been very different but for one small conversation way back in the mists of time.  The conversation that said you don’t have to take the first job that pays enough for you to scrape by.  The conversation that said you can get more for being the manager than for being the doer.  What about the conversation about having a career and the benefits of working for large organisations? And what about being an entrepreneur and maybe running a little sideline as well as the day job, or multi-level marketing?  These things existed in the days before the internet after all, and spawned many a millionaire.

It seems that is not the way it works for the majority of people.  There are very little in the way of words of wisdom outside of ‘do as I have done’.  You know and I know that this is all very well if that person is hugely successful, either in business or monetary terms or in shaping their own quality of life.  More often than not though, they are just words.  Well-meaning words.  But just words from somebody who may have spent his entire life living on or just above the breadline.

It wasn’t that I was the recipient of any words of wisdom either.  It’s just that one day a light bulb went off in my head that told me I didn’t want to live my life like that.  There was more out there and there were many extremely average people doing very well for themselves, thank you very much.

I went through the corporate grind and came out the other side better for it.  It was no picnic, but I learned a lot about business and myself.  I also knew I didn’t want to work for an employer.  Having run my own businesses in the traditional sense I also realised that all I was really doing was working harder and harder and again, there must be a better way.

With that in mind I have scaled back my traditional business and even walked away from a partnership, in order to focus on the areas that are my passions.  Coaching and personal development are the two areas about which I get excited and can’t get enough of.  When I’m doing this it never feels like work and it’s about real enjoyment, giving and of course receiving.

I have what you might call a hybrid model where I rely on some traditional income whilst my personal development business is building.  I’m building it right first time.  To rush is to make mistakes and to force the pace.  I’m a great believer in that you can open the door for people and that they must decide for themselves whether to walk through it.

The steps we take today have a direct impact on our tomorrow.  We know that if we keep doing the right things, when we get to eighty we shall look back and know that we’ve given our all, received a whole heap of goodness in return and will have lived the lives we wanted to live.

More importantly, we’ll be able to have that conversation.  The one where we can say you can have it all, be who you want, there are options out there.  In fact, I can say it already.  Just ask my kids!

What about you?  Where do you want to be when you’re eighty years old and looking back upon your life?  Hurry, hurry, the clocks a tickin’!

Thanks, as ever, for stopping by.

Regards,

Andrew

They look successful. They sound successful. Some openly flaunt their wealth, while others allude to riches attained. Some are self-deprecating in the “If I can do it anyone can” kind of way. They also use these approaches to sell the magic formulae to success.

What else do you notice? Maybe that a lot of these guys have been around a while?  That they got in on the first wave, pre-IPO in corporate speak. They aren’t overnight megastars. They made mistakes. They learned from and corrected those errors. They collaborate extensively. They communicate relentlessly with ‘the list’.

Do you notice what they are not? They are not all blessed with genius IQ. This means that they are not obviously smarter than you and I. They aren’t all natural in front of the camera. They don’t all produce deeply original products. They are also not alone. They do more than collaborate. They outsource what they can and some of the ‘gurus’ have a large staff of their own.

So how are they apparently so incredibly successful whilst many of us can struggle?

• They found their niche
• They know their customer
• They know themselves
• They are relentless in working the process
• They give a ton of free content
• They don’t undervalue their products
• They create a need, a desire and in some cases, an out and out fervour for their material

They work their system diligently and intelligently every single day. Every single day. The internet is 24/7 and they are pushing themselves and their products and those of their partners, non-stop.

So how does that differ from you and me?

I can’t speak for you, but for me, it’s the inability to be completely relentless, for enough of the time which holds me back.

I am working a great system for products in which I truly believe in and use myself. Yet I’ve had a slower start than I’d like. Why? I made some mistakes and spent too much time on the wrong things. I have to balance what pays the bills today with what will give me a fantastic lifestyle tomorrow. It’s coming together and going in the right direction, and like so many things, it takes a little time.

I need to learn from the gurus. I’m not talking about swallowing all hype and fluff out there. I’m talking about getting serious and committing to doing more to promote my fantastic business every single day without fail. Fits and starts don’t work (for me). It has to be consistent and intensive if we’re to hit that growth curve we’re all after.

So that’s where I am and my take on getting it done and being successful. When I look at the bullet points I listed above I know I still have a way to go.  I’m blessed to have a proven system to rely on which keeps me on track.

I hope that this is useful to you and I’d encourage you to share your thoughts via the comments so that we can all learn from each other and provide some moral support!

Thanks as ever for stopping by.

Regards,

Andrew

My children often let out a wail akin to your average banshee that something is lost, gone, no more.  But I’ve looked everywhere Daddy…. Uh huh.  OK so let’s think. Where did you last see it?  Right here in this room and you haven’t taken it to the loo with you or out to the kitchen on your endless trek to the refrigerator for yet more food?  No?  OK so let’s look in this room first.  Oh, would you look at that, there it is, tucked under a cushion inches from where you were sitting.  Amazing!

In life, we often get what we look for, whether we’re aware of it or not.  Have you ever noticed that the yummy mummies at school, who all look worryingly similar in my humble opinion, stick together as if their lives depend on it whilst quietly (if not subtly) shunning others?  Do you think those people actively set out to befriend clones of themselves?  Or is it that they see the familiarity as comfort and cling to those things seemingly in common?

Or the way the fit bodies at the gym greet each other like best friends whilst studiously ignoring those with the fuller figure?  Is it really the case that when those people aren’t admiring how great they look in the mirror, that they literally don’t see the others?

Then there’s the person who is always at the centre of a crisis or drama.  Everything’s just a little too fraught and it seems to be one thing after another that befalls this type of person.  And is it a coincidence that this type of person is surrounded by people that enjoy being involved in a drama or crisis?  Some people genuinely feed off of this type of person and enjoy living out the equivalent of a real life soap opera.

So I’ve said that some people ignore others that don’t fit a certain profile and that some people actively seek out people from whom they can get their kicks?

Sadly, it’s true.  We are truly gifted when it comes to tuning out things that don’t interest us, whether consciously or otherwise.  When engrossed in a good book, it’s very easy to become unaware of those around us as our imaginations take us in to the very heart of the story and we see, hear and maybe even smell the setting as the scene unfolds.  Like many people, I’ve missed my station on the train on numerous occasions, even though the stop is announced repeatedly.

Or when we’re driving and we get to our destination and can’t remember the journey.  Why?  Well, let’s take what used to be a typical car journey for me a few years ago.  I’d leave the house at 7am with a coffee and listen to a little breakfast radio and then around 7:30 the cell phone would start to ring.  My team in Europe would be starting their day and if they needed me they would call.  A text message or two would arrive, and maybe I’d have to check some ‘urgent’ emails.  As one call/mail/text spawned another I’d be doing one thing or another until I reached my destination.  I’d arrive at the other end feeling as if I’d driven there on autopilot.

The brain is a marvellous thing.  It would have automatically filtered out everything but that which was crucial.  I’d arrived through dense peak hour traffic, sometimes at high speed, unscathed and in good order.  No near misses, no wrong turns, no other mishaps.  I’d had meaningful conversations, made decisions, driven normally and gotten the various things that had demanded my attention done.

What I’d missed out on is the minutiae of the journey.  The scenery, many of the unimportant road signs and messages and the detail one might expect to take in if on a leisurely drive.  And this is important to note as it demonstrates the amount of ‘noise’ that the brain takes away from us to allow us to focus.

Similarly, we filter in the things that are of interest to us, as per the ‘drama feeder’.  In the case of the walking drama, it could be said that those individuals bring exactly those situations upon themselves.  People typically don’t just have cars towed off of their drive, their electricity cut off or myriad of other issues for no reason.  There will have been a series of events that will have occurred and a number of opportunities will have arisen to take corrective action.  Yet they didn’t and therefore allowed the situations to play out as they did.  They attracted those events and therefore attracted those drama-feeding people.  Which is an interesting concept is it not?  We can actually attract those apparent mishaps!

That’s a negative example so let’s look at it a different way.  How do some people acquire a guru-like status?  Are they genuinely successful and gifted in the field in which they claim or is it merely a perceived image?  Or is it an example of very clever branding?  Perception becomes the reality and maybe even a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So the questions I’d like to ponder for a moment are these: Can we all do it?  Can we all attract goodness to ourselves?

There is a school of thought, of which I’m an advocate, that we can do exactly this.  It might not be an overnight transformation and in truth may take a considerable amount of time.  But what a pay-off!  If we in fact get back what we give, surely this means that we have the ability to reinvent ourselves?

We’ve all known that person who’s ‘glass half empty’ in attitude and is generally negative about everything.  You know, the one who can single-handedly drain the energy from a room?  I have to confess that I’ve been that person.  Not often, and never intentionally of course, but I have been the guy who poo-poo’s every idea, who argues every point and been the only one in large group to argue a minor detail for the hell of it.

That isn’t me anymore and hasn’t been for quite some time.  You see, I learned that being that way attracts like-minded individuals and then what do you have?  You have a self-defeating group of nay-sayers that just brings everyone, including themselves, down.  And who wants to be in the company people like that?  Well, nobody except other ‘negs’ and people that feed off them and their created dramas.

That wasn’t for me and I committed to seeing myself and my world through different eyes.  It took time and it wasn’t easy, but slowly and surely I shook myself free of negative influences.  With a fresh outlook, it won’t be surprising to hear that the void left by the negative was filled by the positive.  And with that renewed influence and outlook things started to change. And fast!

Personal development of this kind is hugely powerful and I’m blessed to be experiencing this process first hand and to be able to show others that they have choice.

Regards,

Andrew

It wasn’t that long ago that being made redundant carried a certain stigma.  It was considered a stain on one’s career and resume.  The assumption was that if you were made redundant, there must be something wrong with you.  You weren’t up to the job or worse, were lazy and incompetent.  Maybe even a trouble-maker, a bad apple or rotten egg as my kids would say.

Sometimes they were allegations that weren’t a million miles off the mark.  We can’t all be great at everything, or fit in to every organization.  Sometimes it can be the kindest thing to let somebody go it they’re having a miserable time or just plain can’t achieve what’s required of them.

How times of changed.  It’s now virtually impossible to read, view or listen to the news without hearing that an employer, large or small, local or global, is laying off staff.  Sometimes these lay-offs are to the tune of thousands at a time.

Today being made redundant is a fact of life.  There aren’t too many people I meet today that expect any longevity with their current employer and certainly not a job for life.  As publicly listed companies become ever more slave like to the stock markets, knee jerk lay-offs after a bad quarter mean it’s difficult for many to feel any security on a day to day basis.

I had some amazingly fulfilling times in my corporate days.  Real high five moments of achievement with my teams.  However, nothing compares to the distress of having to have ‘the conversation’, or as it is now, ‘the process’.

No matter how awful it is for the manager or business leader, the emotions felt by an employee being told that they are losing their income are powerful and often overwhelming.  As the dust settles there are a number of things that an employee needs to consider.

I need to point out that I’m not a lawyer and that this is my personal opinion, so you need to take it as my personal view, which I thought would be helpful, and nothing more.

• Is this a final ‘you’re on notice’ situation?
• Is this the start of a period of ‘consultation’ (this doesn’t apply to all countries)?
• Have you established your contractual rights?
• Have you received notice of redundancy or pending redundancy in writing?
• If yes, is it equal to or better than your contractual entitlement? If not, you need it ASAP.
• Is the redundancy wide-ranging and happening across the business, or narrow in its impact?
• Are there other open positions that you could apply for at your site?
• Are there other open positions at other sites and is your employer open to helping with travel costs or relocation expenses?
• Are there any business partners or suppliers that your employer could introduce you to and act as a recommender?
• Is this a real redundancy situation or is it being used as an easy exit strategy by the employer?
• If the latter you need to establish some form of reasoning or grounds, prior to asking for evidence.
• Do you have copies or back-ups of important documentation, including appraisals and other feedback from your employer?
• Have you ensured that you have a legitimate copy of your contacts (for networking and job seeking purposes)?
• Have you been offered the use of a pre-paid outplacement service?  If you have, use it!

Some Suggestions for exiting your current employment.

• Always try to leave on good terms
• Continue to perform your role to the best of your ability to the end
• Do not become a negative influence in the environment. You’d prefer that people miss you rather than breathe a sigh of relief when you leave!
• Use your notice period to research new options and opportunities.
• Do not be afraid to set up interviews during your notice period.
• Be up front with your employer about time off required to attend interviews
• Network around your existing company, even if this is something you haven’t done before
• Ask your manager or colleagues if they will act as employer or character references and do not be offended if colleagues decline.
• Register with relevant recruiters.  Get recommendations as many are going to be a waste of your time and money.
• Use the online job boards sparingly.  There are many fictitious vacancies designed to help recruiters to build their lists
• Use networking sites such as LinkedIn and do not be afraid to ask for introductions.
• Keep your network warm – It’s amazing how many vacancies are filled through word of mouth referrals!
• Use your time wisely.  Do not be tempted to have a lie in or go and play golf. Time flies!

Most importantly, use the time to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.  This doesn’t mean ‘in my next job I’d like…’.  Examine where you’d like to be in the future.  What do you see yourself doing in 2, 3, 5 or even 10 years?  This is a much hated interview question but it has merit when asking yourself.  What are your goals and what do you need to do to get there?

Goal setting can be challenging at the best of times.  With the added rigors of redundancy and the various pressures that can and will arise, it becomes even more difficult to make sound decisions.  It’s important that you are honest with yourself.  Have you been going down the right path.  Is this what you set out to do?  Are you happy with your life and are you prepared to make changes in order to achieve fulfilment?

All these questions and deliberations serve to help make more informed decisions for the benefit of you and your loved ones.  I’ve been where you are and I learned some of these lessons the hard way.

Ultimately I made a decision to go a different route.  I’ve invested in myself to help me with clarity of thinking, goal setting and the frame of mind needed to strive for betterment every day.

I wish you well with your quest and if I can be of assistance, please feel free to contact me.

Regards,

Andrew

It took me a while to let this realisation about giving sink in.  Coming from a competitive corporate background where information is advantage and guarded accordingly, just freely giving away good stuff was frankly a little bizarre.  So I’m to put stuff out there for someone to use and benefit from with no guarantee that they’ll come back to me, ever?  Really?  So how am I supposed to make any money…?  And so it went on for a little while.  I’m sure we’ve all pondered that once or twice.  Or is it just me?

Anyway, suffice to say that I, like most of you, have been working at putting stuff out there that I hope people find useful.  If you like me and what I’m about and want to know more, that really is a bonus.

So what else of this giving thing?  Well, read on dear guest….

It’s all well and good pumping stuff out into the blogosphere and working the universe for all its hidden gems as we strive for personal development and betterment in pursuit of our goals.  Not to say that isn’t a good thing!  However, there are plenty of people out there who aren’t in a position to help themselves, just plain and simple.  Sure, personal development may come in to play at some point in the future, if they are lucky, but right now they need a helping hand.  From me and you.

So if you’re really genuine about giving, here’s an opportunity to do so.

Some of you may know I like to run.  I’m not particularly good at it yet but I’m improving.  Back in May I signed up to a few rather challenging events that looked like this;

June – 20K (approx 12.5 mile) Extreme Off-Road

August – 13.2 Mile Road Half Marathon

October – 26 Mile Multi-Terrain Challenge

December – 26.2 Mile Road Marathon

January – 45 Mile Off-Road Ultra Marathon

Now unfortunately in the build up to the first event I got injured.  I ran it anyway and completed it. However, I then missed the second event on medical advice. And because I couldn’t walk properly.  But I’m now back and building up the miles.  I also need to add an event to make up for the one missed and I’m hoping for a place in the London Marathon in April.  Either way, it’ll be 5 events, come what may.  That’s what I committed to after all!

Now for the good bit.  All this is in aid of 3 Charities.

Help for Heroes

The wars in Afganistan and Iraq have laid waste to the lives of thousands of servicemen and their families.  Help the Heroes…..

Whether it’s my countryman or yours, we’re likely on the same side, if you can make any sense at all of this mess.  I’m apolitical on this subject, just tired of seeing flag-draped boxes carried from planes at the airbases and young men and women’s lives ruined.

That’s my view and this is theirs;

Help for Heroes was founded by Bryn and Emma Parry in October 2007 out of a desire to help the wounded Servicemen and women returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. The message of the charity is simple: We are strictly non political and non critical; we simply want to help. We believe that anyone who volunteers to serve in time of war, knowing that they may risk all, is a hero. These are ordinary people doing extraordinary things and some of them are living with the consequences of their service for life. We may not be able to prevent our soldiers from being wounded, but together we can help them get better.

Mind

Our mission

Our vision is of a society that promotes and protects good mental health for all, and that treats people with experience of mental distress fairly, positively and with respect.

The needs and experiences of people with mental distress drive our work and we make sure their voice is heard by those who influence change.

Our independence gives us the freedom to stand up and speak out on the real issues that affect daily lives.

We provide information and support, campaign to improve policy and attitudes and, in partnership with independent local Mind associations, develop local services.

We do all this to make it possible for people who experience mental distress to live full lives, and play their full part in society.

Prostate Cancer

OK so men are idiots.  We know this.  We’re even fairly accepting of it most days.  How can so many men die because they don’t have a simple examination?  And how poor is it that health checks don’t include as standard a simple test for a protein that gives early warning to prostate cancer?  And then what?  Here’s a bit about the charity;

We campaign to improve prostate cancer health care services because we believe that people affected by prostate cancer should receive the highest standards of treatment and care wherever they live.

A diagnosis of prostate cancer and the side effects of treatment for the disease can have a huge impact on men and their families. Having access to support services designed to help men cope with these effects can make a real difference and ensure that men are able to lead as normal a life as possible.

So many of you may be thinking, that’s all well and good but what’s that got to do with me?  These guys aren’t even in my town/state/country/continent….  And that may be very true.  These charities touch people’s lives in a real and meaningful way, regardless of where we all sit on the globe  Research and treatment breakthroughs in your country come to mine and vice versa.  And remember, what goes around comes around.

Fittingly, we’re back where we started (that was actually quite smooth for me. High 5 to self!).  By giving first, we can get so much more back in return.  I thank you sincerely for reading this far and if you’d like to contribute, with fundraising or with encouragement, I will be extremely grateful.  I also know that we get asked to contribute a lot and I shan’t be remotely offended if you can’t or don’t want to.  So there’s your get-out clause.  Walk away guilt free.  It’s fine, really.  As with all things, the choice is yours.

Please let me add, that none of this is wrapped up in a ‘holier than thou’ attitude.  It’s just one of the ways I choose to give back to people that need stuff.

My sincere thanks again for not only stopping by, but for contributing so freely to my blog and networking experience.

Regards,

Andrew

I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think whoever came up with the phrase is completely right.  Whether it’s getting minor things done on a day to day basis or death-defying stunts, it really does start in the mind.

If our mindset isn’t in the right place, days can slip by.  “I’ll do it tomorrow” is repeated again and again.  I have to confess that I once had an Outlook reminder pop up for 5 weeks before I addressed it.  5 weeks!  And all I had to do was make one lousy phone call to the tax man, fill in a form and post it.  How sad is that?

The reason this happened is that I’d allowed myself to get in to a bad place.  Procrastination became the order of the day.  Or at least it would of if I hadn’t put that off until tomorrow too

This example can be the answer to why days slip by and we seem to have achieved little.  Or maybe even nothing of significance.  We scan the news too frequently, check email unnecessarily and find other things with which to distract ourselves from the things that actually need to be done.

My life, like yours is not without its fair share of challenges, some minor, others worthy of a proper wrestle.  As a grown up there have been plenty of times when it would have been easy to curl in to a foetal ball and hope the bad thing went away.  However, as most of us know, that won’t help.  We have to take issues by the scruff if we’re to emerge the victor. Or at least not a willing victim!

The world of sport is a classic example of where mindset is employed to great success, along with ritual.  Have you ever noticed how the tennis player inspects tennis balls before deciding which to pocket, reject to keep in hand?  How he then proceeds to bounce the ball a precise number of times before serving?  Or the sprinter that stares intently ahead whilst visualising the race and calming the mind?  And maybe how they pace, stretch and bounce in exactly the same way, even if there are numerous false starts?

There can also be no room for doubt.  A sportsman who lines up expecting not to win will surely lose.  In a competitive environment, which means everywhere these days, the inability to give focus and attention to the task in hand, can reduce that task to a pointless waste of time.  Why?  Because there are many others prepared to put in the effort to do it better and it will show.

I’m still learning about the power of the mind and I continue to do so throughout my life.  Today I use proper mindset when I’m at my desk planning and executing my work.  I also employ it in sporting activities.  I like to run.  I’m fairly new to running and I’ve got a long way to go to achieve my short term goals.  It’s also important that I make note of what I’ve done so far and how much I’ve improved.

It would be very easy when out running, particularly when weather conditions are miserable, to give up or to stop and walk.  Or maybe not even go out in the first place.  I’m currently training for some specific events that require extreme physical endurance.  Without the power of the mind the daily training is for nothing.  I have to know that I can do it.  I have to know that I won’t get half way and stop.  But how can I know?  I’ve never run 26+ miles before?  By training both body and mind to endure the discomfort, pain and exhaustion that will surely visit me on my travels.  The only way to know for sure is to do it but in the meantime I will be sure to push myself to limits that test me and take me outside of my comfort zone.

This is my gym for the mind where I am achieving mental fortitude in order to win the battles, large and small, of which there are many.  I am learning that I am very capable and that I can be so much more.

When we are seeking betterment and unsure of our limits, we should be prepared to challenge ourselves a little.  Very few changes for the better come without effort and that effort needs to start with a first step. This doesn’t need to come in the form of physical torture such as marathon running!  We can start with a single commitment or goal to do something different today.  To commit to achieve something specific and make a difference for the better.

This is something each and every one of us can do.  If we really want to.

And, and, and….  The list goes on.  Do you sit there and wonder where the time went?  Do  you ask yourself what it’s all about and why you bother?  The ‘what’s the point?’ question?  You had dreams!

I can remember in the early 90’s when during a particularly torrid day at work, my colleague turned and said, ‘only another 40 years to go.’  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  But it makes you wonder does it not?  I mean, from where you are today, in the knowledge that as we live longer we’re likely to have to work longer in order to see us through retirement without living on welfare. You could say it’s all a little scary.

Just yesterday you were 25, right?  You’d learned a few of life’s hard lessons.  Loved a little, lost a lot.  Burned your hard earned on ‘stuff’ that was really important must-have-or-my-life-will-end-and-I-need-it-now-damn it!  And spending more than we earned was fun, a rite of passage almost.  Consequences be damned.  You were answerable to no-one and responsible for no-one.  You had time to right the ship, tuck a little away, save for a rainy day.  Didn’t you?

A little after that you met your partner.  You got serious.  Things moved on apace and before long you’d gone from renting a chic apartment to putting down a deposit on, and let’s be honest, a family home.  There was more than enough space for a couple and you knew where it was heading.  And you were happy with that.  Your savings, such as they were, were wiped out but you can’t go wrong with bricks and mortar.  When it came to furnishing and decorating, you could put that on the credit card.  You’d soon pay it off.  As long as interest rates remained low, you’d be fine.

Not long after you popped the question.  A wedding was planned which turned out to be bigger and more costly than you’d planned.  The honeymoon set you back a little too.

You may have lived it up a little as a couple.  Maybe you travelled, enjoyed nice cars, dining out and the finer things in life.  You were still young and it’s right to live a little.  There’d be plenty of time to plan for the future.  I mean, you’d invested in a pension already, so that’s sorted.

Miracles do happen and out of the blue you were to be a parent.  How did that happen? I mean, you were having fun and going to get around to planning that bit.  A short time later, with the nursery decorated and seemingly endless check-list ticked off as you bought the contents of your local baby supermarket, your new addition arrives and all is wonderful.

Of course, one of you was to stay at home to look after the children.  You’d already decided that hadn’t you?  And it wouldn’t be a problem.  You’d manage.  Now was the time to really chase that promotion.  The sleepless nights were for other parents and the endless demands on your time would help to teach you time management skills.  It would actually help you get ahead and earn more money.  Nobody was going to notice you functioning in slow motion, wearing mismatched clothes, or that little light coloured area on the shoulder of your suit jacket.  No chance, no way!  You were spritely and super-human and God help anyone that stood in your way. Or woke you from your ‘powernap’. Mid-meeting or otherwise.

Father time at this point strapped on a jet pack and blasted you in the future.  The off-spring multiplied, the house, mortage, cars and loans got bigger, as did the bills and the responsibilities until one day you woke and it was today.  Today you wince a little as you look back at what has been a hell of a ride.  But you’re exhausted and going through the motions.  The high hopes that you once had seem a very long time ago and all but out of reach, dead and buried.

Then one day you decide, after a chance meeting with a generous stranger, that there’s a better way.  Your dreams are not extinct but have been merely dormant.  You realise that you don’t have to pursue the endless corporate grind indefinitely and that you do in fact have access to alternative ways to boost or even replace your income.

Older and wiser, you know an opportunity when you see it, and having performed due diligence, you embrace the opportunity with an enthusiasm thought long gone. You see the world through fresh eyes, invigorated. And what’s more you appreciate it, and those around you in a way that you should have done always.  Probably more so.

You now see your future and smile with a new found confidence and relax a little.  Life is good and will get even better.  You can see it all so clearly now.

This might not be you.  But it is me.

This week has already been a rollercoaster ride and it’s only Wednesday!

Monday I chased up a contract that should have been in the bag (and the bank!) about a month ago. No news. Nothing I can do to speed it up so it’s a waiting game.

Monday I also went to the physio (finally) to get my knee looked at. Not just for the hell of it. That would be weird! I went because I’ve had to lay off the running due to knee pain. I’m not used to getting anything other than the odd twinge so this is new. And unwelcome.

The good news is that the physio identified the problem. The bad news I have patellar tendonitis and this means another 3 weeks off the road and the only cardio I can do is swimming. Oh joy.

Tuesday I came home from a day on the road seeing potential customers to find water dripping through the kitching ceiling. No sign of anyone so I put the buckets down. Ceiling stayed put – bonus! – but that will be a plumber and associated costs….

Today one of the laptops went pop. No warning, no obvious issues, just checked out, took it’s ball away and went home in a sulk. As I write, it’s being taken to computer hospital and a new laptop is being sought to replace it. No small expense there then. Although the kids will be grateful to have a hand-me-down to replace the ones they broke/abused/infested with numerous viruses. I’d like to add ‘delete as appropriate’ but it was all….

However, on a rollercoaster you get as many ups as downs and so the week has been. The upside of the delayed contract is that it hasn’t gone away, it’s in the ether being signed off by the man with the big pot of cash. This is a good thing..

The knee thing is really annoying but the good news is I have a diagnosis, it’ll be treated and I’ll know how to avoid it in future.

Yesterday I had a great meeting with a prospect which I know will translate into business and spawn more contacts and additional opportunity.

Last evening I went to watch my eldest son, who is 10 years old, in his end of term play and as usual he left me amazed at his confidence and bursting with pride. He only had one line, but then I guess the Mayor of Munchkin City never was one for big speeches…. That said, he sang really well. I clearly don’t remember the Wizard of Oz particularly well.

Today, having finished the proposal for the above business I took myself off swimming for the first time in I don’t know how long. Back in younger days, I was a competitive swimmer and today reminded me just how long ago it all was! But I also know that I’ll end up fit and healthier and with luck I may have inadvertently rediscovered a sport about which I was once passionate.

Today I’ve also discovered some other opportunities with great potential and reconnected with some old friends.

I think overall the week is evening itself out. No matter how bad we may feel about a situation, it can get better. But you have to take one more step. Or you’ll never know….

I do think though, that we’ve lost the ability to properly communicate with one another. We’ve become accustomed to taking in lots of data at a ‘skin deep’ level. To effectively scan-read through the day. As we’re bombarded with information, our minds filter out the noise to let us take in the ‘important’ bits… It’s amazing really when you think about how much information that washes over us throughout any given day.

Take for example a 1 hour drive to work. As you switch on the ignition the radio comes on and soon delivers the news of the hour. The SatNav tells us where we are, where to go and to perform a U-Turn as soon as possible (OK that one might just be me…). The phone rings and we speak to a colleague, which may spawn the need for other calls and some of us, although not me naturally Officer, even check emails, text messages and apps on their smartphone of choice.

And this is besides breakfast on the run, a buzz-over with the electric shaver and a coffee balanced on one knee. Has to be one knee, the other one is steering. Kidding. I don’t do that any more, honest!

And that’s just in the car. When we arrive at our destination we can’t remember the journey. The reason for this is that our brains filter out all but the vital information.

I often feel that many days communication is like this whether we’re in the car or not. A colleague drops by to tell us something but we’re distracted by the blinking light on our phone, or the envelope that pops up on the screen to tell we have yet more email. We find ourselves nodding, say uh huh, whilst wondering what we missed.

When I finish work of an evening and spend those first few minutes with the family it’s vital that I have every other distraction out of the way. No phone, newspaper or TV news report to distract me from the important things that have happened that day.

Most of the time anyway…. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told “I did tell you” or “you clearly don’t listen”. I listened, but didn’t hear. I was distracted. My brain filtered out something that was actually very important. If not to me at that point in time, to my wife or children. That’s not a good thing! Sometimes the amazing systems of filters put in place by the human mind let us down.

The shocking truth is that we all do this every day whether we’re aware of it not, to some extent. We filter out ‘noise’ and focus, sometimes fleetingly, on that moment’s important thing. We miss huge red flags that friends, family and colleagues are waving in our faces (see Opportunity post).

On a particularly dark note, what’s the most common reaction from family, colleagues and employers when someone commits suicide? It’s “we didn’t see the signs”, “we had no idea” and “it’s all just such a shock”. But should we have seen the signs, had an idea, or feel genuinely shocked? The signs will have been there in many cases. We ‘choose’ not to see them. Filters are powerful things. That and we were just too involved with other matters.

This is an extreme example, but over the next few days I’m going to redouble my efforts to give people my undivided attention when they want to speak. This doesn’t mean dropping everything the minute someone appears, but rather, when I’m supposed to be listening to that person, they have my undivided attention.

Communication can be a magical thing. We do it every day yet miss so much of what is being said or conveyed.

I’m lucky in that I’m involved in an organisation that specialises in teaching advanced communication skills. Another opportunity to take some of my own medicine I suspect!

If you’d like to know more about what clear, concise, honest communication can do for you and your business, please feel free to get in touch via a comment here or through the contact form.

Thanks again for stopping by.

We talk a lot about the importance of goals and how staying focused on those goal keeps us on track. Most of us have, or maybe should have(?!) a plan of action around what we’re doing and what it is we’re trying to achieve in the short, medium and long term.

It IS important to keep your eyes on the prize, no doubt about it. But…. Let’s make sure we enjoy the journey as well as the accomplishments. What’s the point of working flat-out to climb the mountain, only to have nobody to share the view with at the summit? It would be a travesty to achieve all that we thought we wanted, only to find that we’ve allowed the things that matter to wither on the vine along the way? The danger of being too-long term focused is that despite best intentions, today can  pass us by. That extra 5 minutes with the kids, the missed opportunity to get some fresh air, to call your friends, to do something other than work. As we’ve said before, what’s done is done. You can’t get it back.

The 2nd thing that came to mind is that opportunity presents itself in many forms. And that form probably won’t be somebody stood there with a dopey grin and a sign round their neck with the word ‘Opportunity’ written large…

There’s often a better, smarter way to achieve our aims but these options can be easily missed if we’re operating at 100mph at the expense of everything else. How often have we said ‘if only I’d known about that it would have saved all that wasted time’? What are the odds that the better way was trying to flag us down as we blasted by but we were blind to it? I’m thinking pretty high.

This week, it would have been easy to say ‘you know, I’m really busy and I don’t have time to meet you. This isn’t my thing. Maybe another time….’. As it was, I took the time and discovered a potentially lucrative business opportunity to work with someone I know, respect and trust.

Sound judgement, or pure luck, I’m glad I saw it and acted on it, even though it’s a clear deviation from my own plan. Sometimes the road zig-zags a little for a good reason….

It should also be said that you have to determine whether the things that appear to be opportunities are merely distractions in disguise and that’s where our judgement comes in. Take time to evaluate. Our gut reactions aren’t always 100% accurate but they often serve as a very effective early warning system. The joys of being responsible for our own destinies….!

So let’s all try to look up once in a while, take in the view and enjoy the ride.

Thanks as ever for stopping by.