Your Unconventional Young Adult (formely teenage ) Crossdresser

Fuck Yeah China!

2012-02-18T15:26:00.002Z

I had the random thought of what Chiniese society thinks about homosexuality. I'm very happy about what I found.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_China
"All major religions in ancient China have some sort of codex, which have traditionally been interpreted as being against exclusive homosexuality when it interferes with continuation of the family lineage. Confucians believe that begetting children (especially sons) is a very important duty, so a person who only has same-gender lovers is not dutiful."

Basiclly, as a Chiniese male in an important family, your DUTY is to make babies! fuck all the twinks you want, just make some babies on the side; Bi-sexuality FTW.
That sounds fair.
Like, if you're a police officer, it's your DUTY to uphold the law and if you don't do that, then people will look down on you. You might torrent music and movies but at least you caught that bank robber!
... I admit that was a reach and isn't very good!
Let us move on.

"Taoists consider that although each man is regarded as yang (陽, masculine), every man also has some yin (陰, femininity) in him. Some men can have much yin in them, so the presence of some feminine behavior is not to be viewed as unnatural for men. In this view, homosexuals can be regarded as something natural (BOOM), according to the flow of the states of yin and yang. They also argue that the fact that some gods and goddesses live together with deities of the same sex may mask a homosexual relation. Some also consider that the philosophy of Zhuangzi emphasis on freedom and carefreeness may point to the idea that these differences, while being seen as 'out of the ordinary', can possibly be considered 'ordinary' or in some way a part of natural phenomena."

Taoisms sounding pretty fucking awesome right now.

Look at how happy they fucking are!
I'm sure that lady's getting off on this!
Everyone Wins!

Thoughts

2012-02-15T19:26:00.001Z

Here are few things that have been floating around my mind recently.

The first one is about an ex-girlfriend, no names shall be given.
As many of you may know, I actually used to be straight! (Until, later on, curiosity came knocking on the door with a cadre of riot shields). And in this period, I was a certified Inbetweener; average intelligence, awkward social skills and a small retinue of friends. Life was good though, couldn't complain. Eventually I got a girlfriend and I was over the moon. For a 16 year old boy it was the perfect relationship; just fooling around in my room, in retrospect though... it was pretty shitty. I'd let her use my laptop as much as she wanted but she would never let me see the msn chat sessions going off. This just made me even more curious.
There is also the mystery of 'Sue Banks'.
Like I said up above, I was an inbetweener, it was a miraculous event for me to get a girlfriend but as soon as I did... this Sue popped up out of nowhere. She proclaimed that she 'fancied me' and that my current girlfriend wasn't the right one for me, I would always tell her I wasn't interested. I even told my girlfriend about her. Whenever I got home from being in town with my girlfriend, she'd say that she saw us in a specific place, where we actually were. I scouted all the available social sites at the time for this Sue, and even googled her e-mail address but turned up nothing. No profiles, no pictures, nothing. I eventually realised that sue and the girlfriend were never online at the same time.
As soon as me and the girl broke up, Sue vanished, even though the opportunity to get together had arisen, she disappeared without ever talking to me again.
I'm sure by now you've figured out what was going on here...
That maybe this girlfriend had made a false account to entrap me with an imaginary character...
But what kind of psycho does that? And even if I did flirt back, she couldn't jump out and say
“HA! I CAUGHT YOU FLIRTING WITH THIS GIRL I MADE UP!”
I have no solid evidence of this though, but still… it just doesn’t make sense.

Another thing is Alternate Universes in Movies and TV Shows.
I was watching an episode of my favourite show ’30 Rock’, with Matt Damon guest-starring as Tina Faye’s boyfriend ‘Carol’; an aircraft Pilot, an important life event that will stay in the minds of the characters. Later on though, Tina and Alec Baldwin are talking about the movie ‘Invictus’ that starred Morgan Freeman and MATT DAMON. Tina says ‘Morgan Freeman was great, wait… who was the white guy in that?’
Well… who WAS the white guy?!
Think about it; in the 30 Rock TV show reality, Matt Damon is born as Carol, the pilot. So if Carol wanted to watch Chasing Amy, Good Will Hunting or even Invictus, who would be playing the part of Matt Damon?!
Robert De Nero guest-starred as himself, so he’s still in Taxi Driver.
Matt Damon guest-starred as Carol, so is he still in his movies?
Here’s another one; Keanu Reeves is in the Lake House as another person. If that guy went to rent the matrix, would he be watching an alternate version of Keanu Reeves playing Neo?
One that can act BA-ZING!
naaah, he’s alright.

In unrelated news, job searching in Doncaster can lead to random questions about alternate universes.

I Hate Everybody.

2012-01-14T14:38:00.000Z

Not really anyone as an individual, more groups of certain people.
I just hate alot of them.
Whenever I played on the streets as a kid, they'd always be some grumpy old man who'd shout at us for playing football... or anything fun related actually.
I imagine myself as that old man these days, I'm just so damn grumpy about things!
If I'm watching Jeremy Kyle, I'll voice my opinion about how they should all just be shot.
If an expensive perfume/cologne commerical is on the TV, I feel rage and spout profanities.
If I see a picture of what we're calling 'hipsters' these days, I hold the bridge of my nose and let out a long dissapointed groan.
I can't seem to walk down the street without someone marking you as thier nemesis, or being so ignorant and rude that they almost barge right into you.
If I see some TV show about privliged people getting paid to get drunk and argue, I lose a little faith in humanity.
Alot of gay people piss me off, wanting acceptance and tolerance when all they do is isolate themselves from others and act like giant cunts by only talking to people based on looks.
It just seems that humans these days piss me off, and is that normal? Sure, you the reader my agree with me and say it is, but why? why is everything annoying?
No, actually, I think that's where I'm taking this blog post, WHY is everything annoying?
I'm happy with my life, I'm not projecting some inner hate on the world.
Or maybe its my age? A recent episode of South Park really highlighted how when we get to a certain age, everything starts to look like shit!
This new Adam Sandler movie where he crossdresses looks like pure shit to me, god I hate it!
I don't know, I just need to write this all down so some unfortunate soul doesn't get it all in vocal rant form.
Like above there; On Jeremy Kyle, its mostly the unfortunate poor with life problems.
But then maybe an hour later, I'll see some twat in a grandad sweater and over-sized black glasses, with an expensive camera, thinking he's some kind of original and cool artist, THINKING he has such deep problems.
I saw one the other week; he swanned past, right across me and Jamie's path, holding is nose in the air like he was better than everyone else, and I just straight up blurted at him "FUCKING CUNT!"
I'm guessing it's just the modern world, and that I'm not the only one.

Also anger makes my writing disjointed!

I can just imagine myself, in 2050, living in some post apocalyptic settlement, shouting at kids in fallout suits who are playing ball games too close to my shack!
Then The Lone Wanderer walks into my house and I give him a limited amount of dialogue options.
Game reference.. hehe

The Tranny

2012-01-07T23:30:00.000Z

This is a story I've been working on for some-time now... and its pretty vast in lore.
If I was to put it all up here, they'd be way too much for you to read in one sitting, and I dont want to bore you.
So instead, I've put here a little snippet that involves the main character
And if you like it, I'll put up more about the world they live in!

2088
A large, bloated Chinese man sits at the head of a long, polished, oak table, laughing grotesquely, as the pieces of his recently devoured chicken dinner roll down his chins, and stain his white shirt, covered by an expensive Armani blazer. At the sides of the table sit eight men, laughing with him, out of fear. The bloated man sharply stops, and slams his fist upon the table.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?” He bellows, as more of the chicken flies out of his saliva infested mouth.
There’s a few seconds of silence; his underlings gripped with terror, not knowing what the right answer is. One wrong word, and by the click of the bloated mans fingers, the rest of the frightened pack will turn on his fellow dog. Deep down they know they can kill the bloated man with ease but its each other’s loyalty, or anxiety, they fear. One of them gingerly cherps up.
“The… the tranny sir, the one they say’s been sent to kill you…”
He only receives a cold stare from the bloated man, and looks of horror from the rest. He tries to turn it around.
“Like you said… no fags gunna get to you… heh…”
The bloated man begins to laugh again, and everyone follows suit, all in unison, though they know its not funny.
    They’ve heard stories of what this tranny does. He doesn’t just kill you, he tortures you. Death is what you’re wishing for, as he cuts off your hands and hangs you with your friend’s intestines. Not to kill you though, only so you can hang in pain, flicking between agonising flashes of consciousness, witnessing his insane ramblings and brutal skinning of corpses… then it’s your turn; your turn to be skinned. The ones who take a bullet to the brain are lucky when the Tranny comes.
      Standing behind each man at the table are Chinese concubines; some there willingly and some against their will. One of the concubines though, is just a bit taller, just a bit wider and stockier.
“MORE CHICKEN!” roars the fat man to the concubine at his side. He begins laughing again but notices another look of horror on his underlings faces. Before he can question it he feels two sharp pains running up his arm, originating from both hands that are resting on the table. He lifts them to inspect the cause… but he can’t… they wont move, why!? His inspection leads him to two knives impaled directly through the centre, effectively immobilizing him. He can’t shout either; it isn’t the terror that’s frozen him, it’s the poison that has been laced all over his chicken. Within a split second Underling one is shot in the head
Then two
Then three
Then four
Then five
Then six.
The shot came from over his shoulder as the bangs deafen and continue to ring through his ears. Seven looks down to draw his weapon, he brings his head back up to aim, and with the last thing he sees being the bottom of a pair of heels. His vision extinguised, his screeches curdle the blood of number eight. The concubine behind it all says “Shoot me” as she lies side-long on the table, still with the heels buried into seven’s skull; his blood squirting all over the concubines heels and clothes, painting them crimson. Eight reaches for his gun, aims and goes to pull the trigger… but he can’t. He’s pushing all his mental will behind this one simple action he has done many times before… but he can’t. He begins to feel drool pouring from his open mouth, which turns into a cold feeling as numbness surges through-out his body. He’s left to watch the horror of the concubine’s heels slowly draw out of seven’s eye sockets, followed by an encore of falling blood, brains and broken eyes. He’s also still breathing…
“Such… wonder is the human body”
This is no concubine, this is … him, this is the murderous Tranny.
The real concubines file out of the room in silence, as if they were in on it the whole time. The Tranny valiantly stands in the centre of the table, removes the red silk Chinese dress, revealing a tight, red cat-suit, stained by dark crimson blood. Black leather knee-high heels, long Kevlar black gloves, an AK strapped on his back and a fierce, curved Russian Cossack sword. The Tranny begins to dance provocatively; rubbing himself up and down the life-less, brain strained corpses.
“You’ve probably killed a lot of people, good and bad.”
He dances in the middle of the table rubbing the blood up and down his body, caressing his crotch and every other part of his body, his fingers lingering on his flesh with an almost palpable pleasure.
“You kill for the money and fame… you’re a fucking pussy”
The Tranny keeps eye contact with the fat man.
“I kill because it’s an art, I kill because you can do such… beautiful things with a human body”
The Tranny pulls one of the henchman’s corpses to him, and begins to feel the face.
“There are so many nerves in the face… so many pictures you can make, so many emotions you can convey.”
In a split second, a knife is driven into the corpses face, dragged around the edges; being pulled off by his fingers, cutting through the artery’s, veins and muscles. This Tranny has a look of malice and enjoyment… and there is something in-human, observing from within his pupils. As he cuts deeper into the deceased face, Eight can see something… There’s nothing but darkness in his eyes but… there’s something there.
Eight becomes entranced yet terrified; he can’t stop fixating on the thing watching from the Tranny’s pupils.
It’s not a being, more of a presence… but he can feel that this presence is aware and sentient.
It’s an unworldly presence.
It’s a living presence.
And it knows that Eight is watching.
It brings up every feeling of grief, fear and sorrow ever felt in his soul.
It reminds him of every brutal and depressing scene he’s ever had to live through.
It whispers to him…
It whispers to him descriptions of mutilation and perversion.
With a smile…
He can’t see one but… the strange feeling he’s getting… tells him so.
The horrible scene that’s taking place in front of him; his former friend’s face being carved apart like butter, feels tame now. He doesn’t know what has paralyzed him either, a poison, or the presence. The Tranny snaps his gaze to Eight; the presence is intensified tenfold now.
His vision begins to slip… literally slip.
The image of the Tranny’s gaze dissolves into utter darkness.
There’s no light now…
No hope.
     Across the long oak table is a vast network, connecting streams of blood, flowing and cascading off the table edge. Small pieces of brain matter gently float along as grotesque vessels of murder, accompanied by bone and bullet cases. There is nothing human left of Eight, only a dry, withered white husk. As the Tranny opens the double doors to leave his latest masterpiece, there is the silhouette of a fat man, hanging and gently swinging from a pair of intestines, wearing the face of his former underling like a mask… and he’s still breathing.
    This is a world enveloped in war, a world where hope has been drained from everyone, a world where light and order are constantly buried for their efforts. The once great vision from world leaders coming together for one goal has taken a nose dive; where it has crashed into a cold, concrete floor with a sickening thud. The idea of globalization is still there but it’s crippled, it needs help… yet no one is willing to lend a hand. Everyone’s grown to love the crazy and dark twist society has taken. There are no morals or religion to dictate what’s right from wrong. It was all forgotten when the whole human race turned on each other, erupting into a violent dog-eat-dog planet. Of course, everyday people still work nine to five and have laws to follow; they still pay bills and work a job, have families and live life’s, they’re the small people, the little cogs in a machine, the smaller colours in a picture… it’s just the bigger picture they make up.

Saints Row 3: The Evolution

2011-12-17T18:41:00.000Z

I can freshly remember when I began playing the first Saints Row; It was great. There was a cause behind the chaos, your gang wanted to clean the streets, they were tired of criminals running the town. The characters felt real and were well portrayed. You occasionaly watch the enemy gang leaders arguing and bickering about what to do with the Saints, which were...
Julius (voiced by David Anderson) the old-wise black man, guiding his crew.
Dexter, the brains of the group.
Johnny Gat, the mad dog with an itchy finger.
And Troy, the sheepish guy who seemed to be hiding something.
It was fun and crazy but not over the top.
Oh and Lin, some asain chick who died.

Then came Saints Row 2, with trailers appropriately narriated by Gary Buecy!
At the end of the first game our 'protagonist' was on board a boat rigged with explosives.
As Saints Raw 2 starts, you wake up in a prison hospital, with a completley new face and personality.
My guy went from an angry Hispanic man to an angry Hispanic tranny!
It was the same gameplay but with steroids floating in its vains. Instead of building upon its story, it just went fucking nuts. It was incredibly fun with shit loads of customization, the tranny thing being one of them. My character was still a guy but he could wear female clothing, and I'd dress him in some kind of elegant, business attire with long black leather heels, while he shot the fuck out of people,carrying a heavy machine gun, backed by a gang of ninjas! It was crazy in a good way, and gave you much more freedom.

Now... Saints Row 3... In the first 5 minutes of the game you will kill over 50 S.W.A.T team members and bring down about 5 helicopters... and from there it just keeps esculating. I don't get to have my tranny this time around (which feels abit annoying, since I've played through the first two with potentially the same guy) and this is my only nag about it; it feels like customization has took a nose-dive. Sure you can edit every fine point of your face but if you have a male character, then he has to be bulky; even if I edit his body to the skinny option he still looks like a body builder. I tried recreating my tranny but it didn't work, he just ended up looking like Superman in drag. So I swithed to a women, this is where the customization falters too; Theres hardly any good clothes. The clothing stores are all gimicky rather than authentic. It feels as though the designers said this...
"YOU WANNA DRESS AS A SPACE MAN OR A SUPER HERO!? HERE YOU GO, DO IT!"
Can I dress as a respectable looking women.
"FUCK NO! WEAR THESE STRIPPER BOOTS AND THE OTHER 5 PIECES OF FEMALE CLOTHING!"

Other than that I recommend this game
... You want a full review? go find one then... I just want to rant.

But heres a small evolution of Saints Row

#1 "Take back the streets while having fun!"
#2 "Take back the streets while flinging shit at people and wearing a one-piece swimsuit"
#3 "ATTACK THAT MILITARY ARMORY AND STEAL THE GIANT BOMB, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, KILL SOME INNOCENT PEOPLE AND BLOW UP SOME TANKS WITH A PREDATOR DRONE! WATCH OUT FOR THE MEXICAN WRESTLERS AND MASS CLONED SUPERMEN WITH MINI GUNS!"

MMORPG

2011-12-09T18:47:00.001Z

MMORPG - Massivly Multiplayer-Online Role-Playing Game

I've never been too keen on them, especially WoW (World of Warcraft... Incase you've never been on the internet before and this is the first time you're looking at it, so I shall say WELCOME TO THE INTERENT! We've got cats, racism, fraud and child porn!)

I've been reading alot about the trappings of WoW and don't want to fall into them. But then I discovered DC Universe Online; where instead of being a magical Elf, you can be a student hero guieded by THE BATMAN!

The story is that the rivalry between Heroes and Villians had gotten a bit out of hand, for instance; Superman looks like he's seen some shit, Lex Luthors traded his business suit for power armor the size of a tank, Wonder Womans shiving robots and Batmans ordering in artillery on witchs. The trailer/intro movie is here.

If you watched that, Im sure you can see that its not about Batman trying to stop The Joker from robbing a bank anymore, SHITS GOT CRAY! (thats short for crazy... WELCOME TO THE INTERENT!)
What Luthor did is fill the earth's atmosphere with these tiny nanobots built by Brainiac (The big alien Nobhead who attacks) that contain data and infomation about all the heros and villians future selfs. These nanobots drop down to earth and into everyday citizens who begin turning into superhumans! Thats where we, the player, come in.
And the purpose of this blog post...

I've been playing DC online for a while now and its goods fun but... okay... you do missions given to you by your mentor and others, so you rush off to these areas and have to complete certain objectives there; Like disabling machinery or killing a number of enemys. But it doesn't matter...

I'd like to rid Metropolis of an alien invasion but my effort doesn't matter...
No matter how many robots and communication arrays I destroy... they just come back... and heres my problem with MMORPGs

I'll compare it to Skyrim
You kill someone on Skyrim, they're gone, dead.
You kill someone on DC Universe, they come back 5 seconds later and you'll be congratulated on defeating the said target... but he's still there

I know its so other players can have their turn but... its gets silly. What about all the players that have defeated this Braniac wanker and got a hearty congratulations on breaking the invasion?
They'll return to the city to still see Braniacs armies and ships still operating!

You defeat the main boss on Skyrim "YOU DID IT DRAGONBORN, YOU'VE SAVED THE LAND"
You defeat the main boss on DC Universe "Heres an item, now piss off, its someone elses turn"

I had a short stint on WoW
'Defeat 8 blackrock spys' So I beat up 8 dickheads with telescopes, took a look around and... there was still loads left... my effort didn't matter.

Thats my main point, your effort feels futile and seems to have no effect on the game world in MMORPGS. I've been beating the crap out of an army of demons on Wonder Womans behalf but they just come right back.

I guess its more about the levelling of your character than making a difference to the game world
Geesz, look at me, getting all existential on a video game!

Insanity

2011-11-01T11:02:00.000Z

Basic human logic dictates that if you truly don't like something, you stay away from it.
Like beans, I hate beans. They look like the embryo of some fucked up alien.
That wasn't the case this Halloween.
Jamie was dressed as The Wicked Witch of the West, and I was Ermac, if he was made by the Peglers factory in Doncaster.

We... We feel inadequate
While we're out in a bar, Jamie needed to reapply some of his paint in the male restroom; this is where the shit began. I walked in after him, to see some bald, fugly nobhead staring directly into my eyes, as soon as I entered the room as well.
"Don't won't no fags looking at my cock"
No one was.
When I went to my urinal across the room from him, I brush off the comment and try to wee.
Well... why I else would be in there?
OH THATS RIGHT!
Because all us fags just LOVE getting a naughty peek of a fat guys flacid cock, gushing out piss.
Anyway.
As I'm peeing, I notice in the corner of my eye that he's still looking at me.
Here's where my opening sentence up at the top comes in...
He don't want no fag looking at his dick, but he'll gladly stare at one while holding his.
Again, I brush it off and go over to Jamie who's reapplying some paint at the sink.
The fat guy then comes over, right behind Jamie, and seems confused he's actually a guy.
He seems so captivated with it
hhmmmm, I wonder how many shemale videos he's wanked over.

I put my arm in-between the two and say
"Come on mate, just leave it alone, go enjoy the rest of your night"
I always start with diplomacy.
His friend at his side was the same, just wanted to leave, I thanked him for it.
But he seemed so stalwart to stay
I tried talking him down and stating his error
He said to Jamie that his costume was gay...
That was his best argument...
And his face said he was proud of him self
As if in the back of his mind "AHOO I just called a gay person in drag gay! me smart"
I then said
"Well, if you don't like it then just leave, because its pretty gay that you've come over here so close to us"
No comeback.
Shazam.
Jamie was sticking up for himself as well, not letting him be intimidated and turning round to face him, very proud of him.
He always says to me
"I'd rather stand up for myself and get beat-up, then cower away"
As the fat, totally-non-curious guy begins to leave he says "Lets leave before I smash him"
Now, ladies and gentlemen
There's this door, a mental door, holding back something horrible and twisted in the back of my mind.
Behind this door are many things I've experienced in this world that I can never forget.
And all it takes is one flick of the weak latch on this door to unleash a shitstorm of insanity.
And that what he said, knocked it off.
The reason being that he said it as he was leaving, out of swinging range, and that he said it to Jamie.
The insanity wrapped around my brain and whispered "its time"
I squared right up to him, telling him to come outside with me as I press my forehead against his and lock eyes that he was so happy to do with me when I first walked in.
As some good-hearted guys, no sarcasm there, they really were, held me back, I screamed at the top of my voice
"I WANT HIS BLOOD!"
Before we go any further I'd like to state this eternal promise.

That mental door will NEVER open up on friends, loved ones or innocent people who don't deserve it.
It's for the bastards and the shit faces of this world who try to harm them.

Did I really want his blood?
Yes.
I wanted to see the life drain from his eyes as I feel the satisfaction of removing one more shithead from this world.
One who don't want no fag looking at his dick.

I'll finish with this brilliant quip I heard once.
Where's the best place to hide when the whole worlds against you?
IN-SANITY!

Good Old Robert Wood!

2011-10-13T14:08:00.002+01:00

Oh Robert, last time I saw him, he was snorting coke off a hookers back! 



 



DEAR FRIEND,
 


 



 



LONGEST TIME AND HOW IS FAMILY?. I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OK. AFTER A SERIOUS THOUGHT, I DECIDED TO REACH YOU DIRECTLY AND PERSONALLY TO LET YOU KNOW THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO FINALIZE THIS TRANSACTION AFTER PAYING ALL THE FEES AND CHARGES THAT THEY HAVE REQUESTED FROM YOU FOR DOCUMENTATION AND CLEARANCE CERTIFICATES. 


 



I AM THE DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT DEPARTMENT OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA, SOME TIME IN THE PAST YOUR PARTNERS APPROACHED ME THROUGH A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS WITH ONE OF THE MINISTRIES HERE AND REQUESTED THAT I ASSIST THEM CONCLUDE A MONEY TRANSFER DEAL AND WE ALL AGREED. 


 



ACCORDING TO THEM, THEY WANTED TO USE THIS STRATEGY TO TRANSFER THE FUND WHICH THEY ACCUMULATED THROUGH INFLATED CONTRACT AWARDS AND THE MONEY HAS BEEN FLOATING IN THE (CBN) SINCE THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY HAS BEEN FULLY PAID, SO THEY WANTED TO USE YOUR ACCOUNT TO TRANSFER THE SURPLUS OUT OF NIGERIA. WE AGREED THAT ONCE I TRANSFER THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THEN, THEY WILL GIVE ME 15% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT.WHEN THEY SAW THAT I HAVE DONE THAT AND YOUR NAME HAS BEEN APPROVED AMONG THE LIST OF THOSE TO BE PAID, INSTEAD OF GIVING ME THE AGREED 15% THEY STARTED AVOIDING ME.   


 



I IMMEDIATELY DELETED YOUR NAME AMONG THE LIST OF THOSE TO BE PAID BECAUSE OF MY POSITION IN CBN, AND RELEASE OTHER BENEFICIARY'S FUND WITHOUT YOURS. 


 



THEY BECAME ANGRY THE MORE WHEN THEY SAW THAT THEIR PLAN DID NOT WORK, AND STARTED BRIBING OTHER OFFICIALS TO GET ANOTHER APPROVAL TO TRANSFER THE MONEY TO YOU WITHOUT SUCCESS. APPROVALS ARE FREE, IS IT NOT FUNNY THAT A CONTRACTOR/BENEFICIARY IS BEING ASKED TO PAY FOR APPROVAL WHILE HIS MILLIONS IS HERE WITH US? I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DELAY AND OBSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE OF THEIR BREACH OF CONTRACT. IF YOU DOUBT WHAT I HAVE JUST TOLD YOU, PAY ANY AMOUNT THEY WILL ASK YOU TO PAY NOW, AFTER A SHORT TIME THEY WILL COME UP WITH ANOTHER REASON TO PAY AGAIN AND IT GOES ON AND ON. NOW IF YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER TO CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION, THESE ARE MY CONDITIONS. 


 

(I). I WILL HAVE 50% OF THE MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE THE POWER TO RELEASE THE FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WITHIN 4 BUSINESS WORKING DAYS WITHOUT ANY DELAY OR INTERFERENCE FROM ANYBODY OR OFFICE.
 



 (2). AS YOU HAVE SEEN, IT WILL BE USELESS AND MERE WASTE OF MONEY IF YOU CONTINUE WITH ANY OTHER PERSON REGARDING THIS PAYMENT BECAUSE YOU WILL END UP LOOSING MORE OF YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY TO THEM.
 



 (3).YOU WILL ASSIST ME WHEN I ARRIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY TO OPEN A NEW BANK ACCOUNT IN MY NAME SO THAT MY SHARE OF THE FUND WILL BE DEPOSITED THERE.
 



 IF THESE CONDITIONS ARE ACCEPTABLE TO YOU, CONTACT ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO THAT WE CAN FINALIZE ALL THE TRANSFER ARRANGEMENT AND CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY.
 



 PLEASE INDICATE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING METHOD BELOW THAT YOU WILL PREFER TO RECEIVE THE FUND.

 
1:ATM PAYMENT CARD. 


2:BANK TO BANK TRANSFER. 


3:BANK DRAFT. 



 
 TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL AND SMOOTH TRANSACTION BOTH OF US MUST BE HONEST AND SINCERE WITH EACH OTHER UNTIL WE FINALIZE THE TRANSACTION AND MEET FACE TO FACE IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE SHARING OF THE FUND AS AGREED.
 



 BEST REGARDS.
MR.ROBERT WOOD EZE.
DIRECTOR, FOREIGH OPERATION DEPARTMENT CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN).
DIRECT TELEPHONE NO: 234-812-828-0460. 




lets do this!

What I learned About Renaissance Italy

2011-10-02T12:01:00.001+01:00

What I learned About Renaissance Italy
By Adam Frederick III

Italians were natural Free-runners, and built thier citys to suit this; So random nobles can out maneuver assassins if need be.

Everyone kept thier money in chests scattered around citys.

Italian guards disintergrated when touching water.

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THE ROOF! GET DOWN!

Knifing someone in the face is a crime but grabbing them and throwing them off buildings isn't.

Leonardo Da Vinci was gay.

Pigeons told you to assassinate people.

Hay had special properties which allowed it to store an infinite amount of items; including dead bodies!

To suit the natural free running ability of the Italian people, posters of wanted men were put high up on buildings, away from the bustling streets.

There was only one child, and he got hung.

Feathers increase the value of a city.

If a letter wasn't delivered in a set time limit, then reality would crumble and existence would start again.

Merceneries didn't give a fuck, they'd fight anyone!

Whores were invincible.

Medicine could heal ANY WOUND.

Death Arenas!

2011-09-19T19:11:00.001+01:00

WARNING! UNPOPULAR AND CONTROVERSIAL OPINION!

This'll get me some attention!
Why don't we have death arenas!?
There are so many people in the world today that would suit the medieval or roman times perfectly.

Sure, theres the issue of justice and murder
But murder is to someone who is innocent and didn't deserve it (In the blind eyes of justice)

You see, before a competitor steps into the arena, they should be told and be fully aware and mentally well enough to know what they are getting into to, so they sign a contract, that says this.Then, a panel and/or jury decide if they get to advance further. If found sutible, they would go through rigorous pshyical training, filled with martial weapon classes to find out who is truly worthy of entering the arena.
Kind of like the military... or X-Factor!... kind of

A 16 year old girl, stabbed in the civilized street, is pure horrible murder.
A warrior who gets his head cut off isn't fine but he knew what he was in for, he knew the consequences when he set foot into the arena and had the intenetion of doing it to his opponent.
Its still murder but the victim can not be called innocent because he was also clad in armor and carrying a warhammer the size of a child

The poor girl had given no consent and didn't want the murder to happen.
That's wrong and should be punished accordingly!

When an arena fighter gets killed, its different
He's trying to kill someone, whos trying to kill him, to prevent him killing him!

Sure, we live in the civilized world now, with ipods and hotplates!
But have you ever sat there, watching Cage fights, thinking there should be more?

If they ever did get made, i can imagine major Left wingers saying its wrong but just think about what you've been reading here.

Lets lighten the mood a little huh?

haha! more like 'heavy' the mood!... cause her tits are big... and not light...

How bout this then?

SHA-ZAAAAAM!
Christ, I swing more than a revolving door!
HA!

Reflection

2011-09-19T17:57:00.001+01:00

My year at uni was mostly fun but I'm not going back. The people I met were brilliant and I'm very grateful that they accepted as I am so easily! The psychical tasks and performances were challenging and fun, and I took alot away from them. I got a chance to show that I can be independant; shopping, cleaning, cooking and all that for myself, and I throughly enjoyed it, taking alot from that too. It even helped me boost my literacy skills, as I took an English assessment at college a few weeks back, and wasn't allowed to join the course because I was 'too overqualified'... ?

In short, the reaction I got back.

Anyway, one day during that year, while I was writing an essay (which seems to account for 90% of the course!) I took a step back and said out loud to myself

"What am I doing!?"

It happened when I was writing an essay about Hamlet, if it was set in an Elizabethan theatre or a Jacobean theatre...

WHEN!

Pray tell me (other than sat in a coffee shop with a turtle neck sweater and a pair of small square glasses while sporting a french beret)

WHEN IN MY LIFE AM I GOING TO NEED TO KNOW THAT!?

"OH MY GOD SHE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK, IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE TO HELP?!"

I'm a doctor!

"PLEASE HELP HER!"

Oh well... erm... Hamlet was set in a Jacobean theatre... OR WAS IT!?

(The women later died and left her kids as orphans.)

I've put myself £9,000 in debt for that bullcrap

And I didn't want to go any further.

I'm going to list some pros and cons of my year at university

It wasn't a waste of time at all and of course I brought some knowledge back with me.

The Pros

These are the things I will sorley miss

The People I Met
For the good ones who have stuck on with it, they became some of my best friends; unprejudiced and a riot to be with!

Plus if one of them becomes a director I can work as an underling for them!

But thats a very small reason why I liked and loved them, they gave me great company and I feel like I've let them down.

A Chance To Be Independant I'd always dreamed of the day I got to live, or were partly responible for, a place of my own, and University gave me that.

I got to organize my finances, oddly being enjoyable, had to shop for myself, had to clean up after myself, and I got to do it when it suited me, no one coming in at 5pm and bellowing at me because the stairs are a bit dirty. Had to do my own laundry; well I did at home but this time I could just chuck it all in at once instead of having to work around other people.
In a years time from time, I will hopefully be doing this again, and I can use what I've learned.

The Town
Huddersfield has as much charm as a sack of potatoes; its bland and very northern... but thats what I like about it!

To get to the town centre takes a simple 5 second road crossing from the Uni, and when you get there, it's moderatly crowded; not too empty to resemble a ghost town but not micking London with its sardine tin quality, and the Northern trait ment that people would keep to themselves but always move half-way to the side if you did.

A Great Performance Report
Though my written marks were the equivalent to, and as depressing as, a dead puppy with a pen cellotaped to it; I can take away and wave around a brilliant offical mark and summary for my work on the final piece. Its made me realise that I should not to give up on acting... also it gives me an erection, JUST getting that out there!

SEX!
Theres others like me in Huddersfield, I'll leave the rest to the imagination.

The Cons
Things that made my arse sore...

The People I saw
Not the locals but some of the other students, like my prime example here -
Curly hair on top, shaved round the sides
Pair of square retro glasses (which they probably didn't need)
Full beard
Old man jumper
Crotch chocking trousers
Camp but sheltered walk
These people... made my blood boil
No doubt they have a Tumblr page with some kind of stupid quote on it like "Forever make me cry!"
I perceive them to think they're better than you, that they're so original and controversial...

Essays!
I've never been one for acedemic writing and I could not get my head around doing it for University. Also, I found alot of it to be useless bullcrap. I just want to act, I just want someone to give me a scirpt and my character, and say 'do this'.

Generous Music Sharing
I heard sooooooo many unique and deep music choices when I was there maaaaan!
Seriously, like, really good music that I enjoyed listening to
At 5am

Debt
The main reason I didn't get an overdraft, I couldn't trust myself with one.
Though it's not going to be as bad as the poor souls joining University in the future, theres still the looming payment I have to make. You can't see it and it doesn't effect you just yet... but its like a lion in the African Savanna
You see it... but it'll just sit there... staring at you... waiting.

Now thats all out the way, lets rant about something fun!

... Fighter Jets are cool...

Heres a video as well

Those people made me...

VENT

2011-08-13T15:29:00.005+01:00

I'm not sure how to start this rant off, so I'll just give a run through of the day.

Me and Jamie went to the walk in clinic to pick up some anti-biotics because he isn't feeling well.
So we tell the receptionist his name and sit down in the almost full waiting room.
It was fine, nothing bad happened.
It's just that prejudice strikes again.
A lad limps in to the clinic with a clear injury to his ankle.
The only seat availible is one right next to me.
Now me and Jamie make it obvious we're a couple, we don't walk into a room and announce it like a damn parade but its our mannerisms towards each other, like eye contact and smiling, too much to be just friends but well below over-bearing. The guy instantly clocks us, and instead of sitting down, prefers to stand up on his dislocated ankle.Well, I can understand, he doesn't want to get kissed or catch the gay or have his arse felt. As soon as another chair became availible, he sat down on it. Phew! Crisis averted! If he sat next to me I wouldn't have been able to control myself! I'd have to have grabbed his hand and chatted to him about Sex in the City while giving him a manicure!

Oh and AIDS! thats why we were there! Because all of us are riddled with AIDS!

After getting the prescription, we head to Boots to get the tablets there.
On the way, so many people piss us off.
It's the town center on a Saturday, every fucker feels its tradition to walk like a sloth
BECAUSE NO ONE IS BEHIND THEM AT ALL!
No one having the curtosey to lift thier arm an inch to make room either
Everyone in town suddenly becomes an ignorant sloth.
I purposley knocked into 3 people because they wern't moving for me.
At first, I WAS moving my arm out of curtosey.
But no one else was doing it, I got pissed off.

Then we get into Boots, and theres a crowd of glaciers in front of us
They wern't made out of ice.
I mean that they were travelling one centimeter every four hours.
As soon as we go to walk around the side...
"OH I'LL TURN IN THIS DIRECTION NOW NO ONE WILL BE BEHIND ME AT ALL!"

And other gay guys in town...
"LOOK AT ME I'M GAY AS WELL WE MUST AKNOWLEDGE EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF OUR SEXUALITY"
No, seriously...
Staring like we fucking owe them something.

AND KIDS! FUCKING KIDS ARE THE WORST
They walk RIGHT TOWARDS YOU, THEY DON'T FUCKING MOVE
So you have to go around
Because if you bump into them
"WHAT YA DOING HURTING MY CHILD! PAEDOPHILE! PAEDOPHILE!!!"
The parents don't bother to move them, despite the gigantic crowd coming at them, they just blissfully let them walk wherever they want.

As soon as we get the tablets, we begin to walk towards the exit, with 2 female glaciers infront of us
Jamie says out loud "I fucking hate people" as one of them turns and looks shocked
The second one infront is still oblivious to the fact theres other people living on the planet
So I say "EXCUSE ME"
She then turns around, shocked, to find that there are actually other people in the store, and on Earth!

We get out of town and have good rants about our experience
On the last stretch home theres a very large asain family...
They move for us but the guy at the front is what pissed us off.
As soon as he looked at us, he said something to the people behind him and was the only one who didn't move
As we walk past, what appears to be his mother, is saying "SO?" to everything he says
...what conclusion can we draw up here
That he didn't want to move for the horrible couple of fags that have wronged him so much in his life by being in general sight and walking down the street?
The old women was having none of his shit though, she really didn't care about our sexuality and just shot the guy down everytime.
We were grateful for that.

So, let me wrap this up

We still get treated like pariahs by some people because of thier insecurities
Which I'm sure half of them wank over shemale porn.
And town on the weekend is fucking annoying and makes you hate humanity even more.

Oh and the London riots!
My opinion - Oppertunistic violence fueled by people pissed off at the police because the police try to stop them commiting crimes.
I heard David Cameron saying something along the lines of "If you're old enough to commit the crime, you're old enough to be held responsible for it"
On the news I hear an 11 year old girl is being tried for looting
Good.

Injustice

2011-07-11T20:59:00.000+01:00

I’m not racist
I’m not a bigot
And I’m hardly a nationalist

I’ve never been against the idea of immigration
Foreign people can always bring something new and interesting to a community

But if you’re going to permanently live in a country
LEARN THE NATIVE LANGUAGE

And that applies for anywhere
If I was going to live in Germany, I’d learn German
If you’re coming to live in England, you learn English

But a recent incident has just pushed me over the edge
And here I am, venting it out and telling you

Its around midnight, just gone Sunday the 10^th, and I’m sat next to an open window on the second floor of Jamie’s new home, watching Jackass.
Suddenly, a drunken Polish man on the street starts shouting in Polish at me, and he’s clearly drunk.
We’ve never seen this man in our lives.
We think nothing of it, we just closed the window and blinds and ignored
Then, he starts banging on the front door
My heart begins to race
I descend the stairs, sticking my chest out and bellow “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, PRICK”
I open the door to see a drunk Caucasian man, struggling to stand up
I’m staring at him with a face of rage
He doesn’t say anything
Instead, similar to a paedophile, slightly waves his finger at me to come closer and come outside
“FUCK OFF!” I bellow and slam the door
He starts banging again and I shout back
“YOU BETTER FUCK OFF OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE”
It stops
But for half-an-hour he’s stalking around outside, trying to ring someone on his mobile
Occasionally he’d go to the back yard (which is part of the house below us) and talks to a women through the window
We called for the police and they eventually arrived to take him away... not really
The guy can only say “I’ve lost my keys”
Then after a while we let a policewomen into the house and tell her the story
They DID put handcuffs on the guy but let him go...
He lives downstairs and wanted to complain about the noise...

Now, Saturday night, we WERE loud, we were having a party
Why didn’t he complain then?
All Sunday we were quiet, just sat on the coach watching TV
And then at midnight he decides to complain
But this is the part that’s REALLY fucked me off
If he managed to tell the police that he’s complaining of noise
THEN WHY DIDN’T HE SAY THAT TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?
At the window, he could’ve said, in any way with English words (that he’s used on the police)
“could you keep the noise down”
Any variation, I would’ve got the message and BAM!
Problem solved.
Fine, he’s drunk, he’s not thinking straight
But you can still ACTUALLY THINK AND TALK.

And the police seemed to act like WE were the antagonists
The policewomen took a good scan of the room
Bottle of Whiskey, vodka, various beer glasses, plus one that said ‘top boozer’!
SO to them, we could’ve been noisy on Sunday and caused it to kick off...
Which is a kick in the balls
Because he was the one shouting aggressively and smashing the door.

Also, he was asked to show them his I.D, asked what his name is and where he was from
He failed to answer any of these questions
But the police just went
“oh ok, on your way then”

This would’ve never happened if he’d learned fucking English

You don’t have to support the football team, you don’t have to wear a bowler hat, drink tea or adopt any English customs at all.
JUST.SPEAK.ENGLISH

I know many foreign people that live in England that speak and understand English better than me
So whys this guy so different

A Big Ol' Bucket of Rant

2011-07-08T13:12:00.002+01:00

A while back, Tracy Morgan made some very homophobic comments at an actual anti-gay rally
I physically hated him for some time
And during that, I couldn't watch a single episode of 30 Rock, the show I follow like its my religion.
But then I read Tina Fey's statement about the whole mess
"It also doesn't line up with the Tracy Morgan I know, who is not a hateful man and is generally much too sleepy and self-centered to ever hurt another person"
That sounds convincing, coming from someone whos worked with him for 6 years
And there was the point that he was just trying to get some laughs
I moved on from it in the end, and just watched 30 rock all day =D

Then I watched his 'apology' statement on youtube and saw someone in the comments, who said along the lines of this
'I don't mind gay people at all but its just not natural'
Didn't bother, just got me thinking
and made me realise alot of people say that homosexuality isn't natural, maybe its not but...
What is these days?!

For example - THIS
Right now you're reading text off of a man made device
That is available on a series of electronic pages through many cables and other devices
THATS NOT NATURAL
You sit at home, watching an illuminated electronic box, that's receiving signals from, potentially, the past and watching people that did something in the past.
THATS NOT NATURAL
Instead of running through forests and fields to get dinner, you'll go to a man-made structure and pick up a pre-packed animal carcass or some concoction of flavourings and preservatives.
The Internet
Television
Supermarkets
Cars
Clocks
Radios
Windows
Lamps
Beauty Products
Airplanes
NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE NATURAL
YET
Are a major part of modern life
Let me try and make my point a little clearer

Cars are everywhere, and we don't mind them, they're in our face everyday, they're accepted
Its an unnatural man made creation that combusts fuel and pollutes
(By the way, I'm not having a go at cars, not that much of an environmentalist)
But a guy puts his penis in another man,
(Its simple, no complex engineering)
In privacy, to express love
AND YOU'RE THE SPAWN OF SATAN

Homosexuality was around before cars, before religion, before buildings
fuck it, possibly before clothing!

Yet, its still treated as a big sin and taboo in societies

So maybe its nothing to do with it being unnatural
Maybe some bigots have something to hide...

Wait... clothing isn't natural either
And I doubt god said who is to wear what
'And on the 8th day, god pointed out the male and female clothing sections to Adam and Eve'
Crossdressing isn't natural
...neither is wearing clothes

Hope I've made a point
Because soemtimes when I write... all I see is a red haze and a Spanish Doctor

The only Monsters were the writers

2011-07-04T15:04:00.002+01:00

For a few months, me and my boyfriend got excited for a movie called Monsters

The advertisement led you to believe that humanity would be struggling against an unstoppable threat, which is always a good idea on paper
... it's just the execution of the idea

At the start of the movie, you get a little snippet of American Infantry, trying to fight one of the colossal beasts.
And afterwards, some text comes up explaining the current state of the world
Mexico has been infested by these alien creatures, that look like octopuses but are taller that a 4 story house!
This is sounding good so far!
Northern Mexico has been completely blockaded and travel through it is limited
This is called the 'Infected Zone'
You get to see helicopters flying off to war and some explosions echoing in the background
... but that's it
see... the movie isn't about a rag-tag team of soldiers fighting for humanity
Its about some cunt with a camera, who's trying to escort his boss's daughter back to America, while they are trapped in Southern Mexico
Still, you could make a desperate struggle and fight for survival story
NOPE
It took at least 1and a half hours into the movie for something to actually fucking happen
30 minutes in and its all bout cunt face's emotional problems with his family back home
Not a single monster
You see news reports about them but they're never acknowledged or looked at
The two fucks just talk quietly and connect with each other
Me and the BF got so bored we just skipped through the movie looking for some action or suspense
We saw some dead bodies
Thats about it
Then the bitch girl was trapped in a gas station and one of the monsters was using its tenticle to find her
Wasn't scary at all because our minds had been numbed by 'feelings'
Anyway, we thought some shit was gunna go down, cunt face was stuck outside and another monster came up behind him
HERE WE GO SOME TERROR AND ACTION
...
no
The two monsters felt each other up and skipped off happily
Then the two humans kissed
I went to sleep

Wait...
So the monsters are nice?
Are we suppost to care about them now?
After invading our planet, smashing the fuck out of Mexico (the greatest country in the world) and killing people?
BULLSHIT!

Also, they played the same helicopter graphic
Like I said, occasionally, you'll see army helicopters flying off to war
At about the 4th or 5th, I realised it was just the same graphic being replayed

Battle - LA is the complete opposite
Alien invaders killing shit, Humanity struggling to survive
Intense action with characters that don't piss you off
Emotional dialogue that's done right
And a bravado ending that makes you feel proud to be human
I recommend Battle - LA
Like a boss
I recommend you burn Monsters
HIPSTER NONSENSE
"monsters are invading, so what, we need to connect and love each other"

Like the title says
The only Monsters were the writers

It's Cool for Cats

2011-06-09T22:34:00.003+01:00

I have a Facbook
A blog
A Twitter
And a Tumblr
Am I cool yet?

The First Year of University

2011-05-30T12:39:00.001+01:00

Essays that violently rape your mind
Colourful personalities of fellow students
Tutors that feel like they're out to get you
And
Bus Drivers that stop their route to talk to shopkeepers
I think this is going to be my longest blog post so please hang in there, I guarantee its a good read!

It's been up and down
Me and my partner have done incredibly well to keep and further forge a relationship between Huddersfield and Lincoln, two cities that have as much to do with each other than whales and GHDs

University has been a challenge for me, I've never been an academic person, doing horrendously in my English GCSE should have given me a sign of how I am at writing essays.
Every essay I've got back has been riddled with bad comments and low marks
Yet presentations and practical work have been high-fiving god.
I've got creative writing down, my boyfriend (with a fucking Cadre of A's in his GCSE's... even science!) says I'm great
But academic writing... I'm like one of my favourite phrases
"Its like trying to stab a tank with a piece of bread"
I'd probably have to put a 'bibliography' to that, here it is

Shithead Mcgee, S.M, 3010, Use my book for an essay but don't copy me exactly just write it differently blud, 10000 Edition, The Netherrealm, Quan Chi

I like to try and suck my own dick sometimes

And often I can be, regrettably, an arrogant bastard
But I got creative writing locked down!
Look at this shit! I'm just flinging it at the wall like a monkey in a cage... I mean 'environment simulation box"
But academic writing
I know when to fling shit at myself and this is it
I'm terrible
I remember for a 1,500 word essay, I had to compare two books written by two separate people, on the same theatre movement, and say who doesn't mention what and why
I did that... I thought it was great and I was going to get a 50 for it, at best
But no, like a 30 I think I got
One reason because I was 'informal' with the phrase 'sticks out like a sore thumb'
Balls
I shouldn't have written that
But me and formality don't go well together
Like if we were at an orgy, I'd be at the other side of the room to it... him... her... I don't know
... what the fuck did I just write? I'll leave it

Onto life at Uni
I'll try to start chronologically

When I first moved into the shanty town of Saville, Storthes, I felt content
I was on my own, independent
I had to shop for food, wash dishes and clean the room for myself
No one shouting at me from the bottom of the stairs in a threatening voice
Just doing it by my own accord
Because I wanted to, It felt like I've finally matured
... nah not really

Saville court looks great from the outside
But inside
Like my dad said
"It's like prison"
Which he's been to
Doesn't bother me, absolutely love the guy
Platonic unconditional love... just so we're clear perverts!
ANYWAY!
One of my flat mates asked me
"Don't you think the kitchen is depressing?"
And I have to agree with him
Its like they've just glued some tiles, cupboards and a cooker to the wall and said 'done'
None the less, its been a great home from home that I've looked forward to returning to everyday

My flatmates knew of my sexuality and didn''t give a fuck
Seriously
They were having a drinking session in the kitchen and invited me
I came in with Jamie, who was staying with me for a while
I sat down on a spare chair, grabbed Jamie by the waist and said to the guests
"Hey I'm Adam, and this is my boyfriend Jamie"
Not a single beat of silence
They all just erupted with greetings as I sat him on my lap
And one guy, whos been great to me all through the year started a conversation with him
Though Saville looks like a shanty town, I felt safe with its party loving people
And I was so thankful to their instant acceptance
However, I haven't been out with them since then!
I never got invited
SO, what does that mean?
Actually, if I'm honest
One of my flat mates invited me out a few times but I couldn't come due to money
SO maybe he just gave up
I can be a boring bastard!

My first day of uni was great
I went all queered up, with my usual bravado of "hey I'm a queer bro"
As we all sat in a circle, everyone went one at a time saying something interesting about themselves
And this gave me the opportunity to introduce a classic phrase
"My names Adam, and I SWING BOTH WAYS!"
Throughout the year, I'd hear it chimed back to me in good jest
Which brings me to the people I've met
I FUCKING LOVE THEM!

For the first term, everyone seemed to stay within the practical groups that had been assigned
And I noticed something about drama students, including myself
Though we'd willingly go on stage in front of hundreds of people, acting like an arse
We get so shy when it comes to approaching new people
And it took us till, maybe, the 2nd term to start melding into one big group
I think
I'm just taking a guess there!
Could've happened before

A big THANK YOU to those confident pioneers, who helped tear down some walls
Soon enough, like it was in college, we ended up being friends with one another and turning into some kind of huge Arabian family, gathered around a table and eating
Seriously, its nothing racist but they do that, like 40 of them in a room
Or do all cultures do it?
I dunno
Maybe I'm a tiny bit racist...
Well, everyone is really
After months of writing essays, being fined for over-due books and small practical sessions that would look up to an ant if it was a bug... maybe one of those REALLY tiny dots that get eaten all the time and have close to no sentience
Again, I don't know what the fuck I just wrote but its staying there
Our exam was unconventional and brilliant
Instead of writing an essay or sitting in a room quietly with a piece of paper
We did what actors do best
BE LOUD AND CRAZY THE SHIT OUT!

We had to work with a professional company from Leeds called 'Slung Low'
And I loved that they just didn't give a fuck if you didn't want to come in
But you had to... it was an exam!
They were with us for two weeks
The first week, certain performance specialists would give us workshops, to help us with our ideas
Yea, we had to think of ideas to put in our performance we were doing, I'll get to that in a bit
then friday of the first week, we had to get a concrete idea and pitch it to the Slung Low group.
They liked mine but they kept asking 'why?'
It was called Astronaught Billionaire Rockstar Job Interview Fun Time
And we had to make pieces relate with 'Linton Camp'
I'm sure you can see why it didn't go through without me explaining...
I ended up being a 'curator' I think the word is
Let me explain the premise of the show first
The pieces they like would be placed all over, so you're not just watching one continuous thing on a stage, there were many to visit and watch, with about 90% of them involving audience participation
Like The Snakes and Ladders game
They built a big platform and made a game of snakes and ladders on it
It was fucking hilarious to watch and take part in
One person would lead you into the room, after giving you and idea of whats going on and a read of the rules, which were all 'Obey the quizmaster'!
When the audience would enter, they'd be greeted by two hyperactive characters, the quizmaster and her assistant
With the Alton Towers theme tune playing in the background, getting louder and louder, and all the colours and sparkling sequins, it was immense!
I was told, that when the giant clock strikes 5 my time with the game would be up yet it never moved!
on purpose, it just added to the whole thing!
I had to roll a giant dice, and even though only the numbers 1 and 2 were on there, the quizmaster would bellow 'you've got a 7!" or whatever she felt like!
While you wore a sign with a name on it and be addressed as such... I was Trudy!
No matter what the quizmaster said, you had to do it, even though she would say 'didn't you read the rules?' and cite a mistake you made, like walking over squares
They made it impossible for anyone to win and it was fucking hilarious!
They were the incarnation of Internet Trolls!
not the fantasy creature
These guys I mean http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/trolling

Oh yea, curator
SO, I had to confront the audience and lead them to the many shows that were around
In drag
My character was 'Mrs.Heppleworth', the head mistress with a fetish for spanking and wearing leather, high heel boots!
that have given me giant blisters!
After doing an opening piece, everyone but the curators would run off to get ready for the audience
So I had to march them through Huddersfield University towards the drama department with the other curators, who were playing school kids, and a Councillor who would make up problems for you, such as bed-wetting or sexual thoughts about your mother, in a very condescending yet calm voice! brilliant!
"Are you still having ODD thoughts about your mother Harry?"
The guys playing the kids were so fucking adorable and believable!
I had to be a bitch to them but I found it so hard with their cute faces and voices.
My character was a major bitch!
She'd insult and belittle the audience with a megaphone, and stop them on there way around for inspection, where I would make them feel uncomfortable by feeling them up with a ruler!
One guy walked past me, pulling his kid to the other side, away from me
Like they were jewish and I was Nazi
...
Well I did bark orders at people while dressed in black leather dominatrix boots so... I can understand why he did it
But contrary to being a bitch to the adults, I was nice to actual kids
I had to march the audience down to the canal side for the beautiful finale piece
Before I set them off, I had to stall for a while, to give people down at the canal side, a chance to get ready, which they did incredibly well at, alot of them had to sprint from the drama department
During the stall period, I'd look for a kid, and ask them if they'd like to lead the march
There was one little, obese ginger kid wearing glasses
Lets be honest, theres no doubt the poor guy gets bullied
So I asked him
"Would you like to be my captain for the evening, sir?"
He replyed with a very up beat yes and ran to the front of the line, marching in time with me and as I complimented him as my captain!
Felt good bro... felt good
But I can just imagine the car ride home

Kid - "Mrs.Heppleworth was such a nice lady!"
Parent - "...We need to talk about that Jimmy..."

I'll add more to this post later today but for now I just want to get this last paragraph down

Half of me feels like I'm not coming back to uni next term
Not that I want to leave, I'd love to keep coming back for this one reason
I have thought about leaving, all this essay writing is just crippling me rather than helping
But one reason why I've stayed and why I hope I come back next term is This
Not the 'glorious' University
Not the town
Not the course

Its the people I've met
Fellow students that make me love coming to uni
Brilliant, unique and colourful people
If I don't come back next term, I won't kick myself for missing out on a degree
I'll kick myself for not getting to see these people again that made the year fantastic.
And if I do come back next term
LETS KICK SOME ASS!

WHATS HAPPENING TO ME!?

2011-05-21T00:26:00.003+01:00

I've never been one for pop culture
Always been the kid head banging to Rage Against The Machine and reciting Slayer

But lately... Lady Gaga has been growing on me
And I realised something about myself, I don't like pop music because it all sounds the same
Whether its about some girl they love or dancing in a club (its almost always one of them)
Lady Gaga's new album Born This Way... is ... unique!

When Jamie (Nina for those who've come here from a certain website) plays the likes of Brittany Spears and Kesha (I REFUSE TO WRITE THAT STUPID DOLLAR SIGN IN HER NAME) all I hear is "IMAWHOREIMAWHOREIMAWHOREIMAWHOREIMAWHOREIMAWHORE"
Then the next song will be
"IMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUTIMASLUT"
With a slightly different beat.
But when he plays Lady Gaga I think
"There's... there's something more to this"
Born This Way began to grow on me
It had a message and a cause behind
It feels like she truly loves her queer fans
While the other artists feel like this
"GAYES LIKE TRANCE AND SEX SO IF A SING ABOUT SEXY WORDS TO A TRANCE BEAT THEYL BUYZ IT LOLZ"
And it pisses me off

Its one of the main reasons why i started listening to Rage Against The Machine and the likes
They're arn't doing it for money
Heck, after getting that Christmas number one, they gave almost all the money (of course, they smartly kept some to live on themselves) to homeless charities and performed a free concert for their fans!
Their music isn't
"ROCK BEAT ROCK BEAT I LOVE A GIRL"
its...
"YOUR GOVERMENT DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND ONLY WANTS YOUR MONEY! REBEL!"
...
I'm sounding like such a hipster-music-snob
BUT this is what blogs are for; self-indulgent free-speech

Back to Lady Gaga
I have always had great respect for the women, with her edgy costumes and that dopey but cute speaking voice
Never liked her first songs
But her new songs are growing on me
And soon... I'll become a Big Monster

... did I get anywhere with this blog
watevs

Piece out!
HAHA! get it?
no?

...okay

Strange Coincidence

2011-05-20T19:18:00.002+01:00

I always think to myself, I could be related to anyone I pass by
A random guy in the street or a collegue
Not directly but through some complicated chain, that we share a small amount of the same DNA

Today that happened!

I was talking to a friend, about how we both have a granddad from Jamaica
Furthermore, we found out that both of them had German dads!
And that both of them were from St.Elizabeth !
Even further probing found out that our granddads are cousins!
Amazing!
She's black and I'm white, we don't look anything like each other but we still share a small amount of DNA!

Also, she's on the same course as me at university
all this time, up until now, not knowing about each others family.

Its fascinating
How, possibly, as Nazi Germany began to rise up, a group of Germans fled away from it to Jamaica.
And that one night of passion, two German men wanted with newly found Jamaican beauty's
Came to a conversation in the Huddersfield University drama department
Thousands of miles away.
And almost a century of time.

Life can be wonderful.

The Pigeons in Lincoln

2011-05-15T13:45:00.005+01:00

Now, this maybe an unholy alliance of schizophrenia and paranoia at work here but the pigeons
They're up to something...

The usual pigeon behaviour includes; fighting for scraps, randomly pecking the floor, cooing, laying on eggs and flapping your wings wildly as you try to get away from the long, moving, oblong-shaped structure coming towards you
(thats a metaphor for people!)
Although, pigeons are smart bastards!
I was watching a movie called 'Mr.Nobody' (brilliant movie, you don't know whats going on but still)
And at the start, it shows you a pigeon in a box, trying to reach for some food but can't make it
In the opposite corner though, is a small block
As the pigeon paces around the box, it stands on the block
Feeling taller, it walks over to the food but realises that only when stood on the block does its height increase
So the pigeon actually starts nudging the block over to the corner the food is in
Stands on it but still isn't tall enough
So it FLIPS that motherfuckin block on its side and climbs the fuck up and gets the fuckin food!
And I'm sure pigeons and ravens are from the same gensus, and ravens are fucking smart too.
CRAFTY
...
Where was I?
here?
ye here
When I'm walking to Jamie's, theres a small walkway inbetween some trees

I know, it looks a gathering point for rapists but its not
Normal* people constantly walk up and down it
(*excluding me)
And thats even more reason for me to get worried by the pigeons
ANYWAY THE PICTURE
Have a look at where I've circled
Thats where their little colony is
Me and Jamie noticed a single pigeon, just sat on the ground, right next to the road, not moving for anything
watching everyone as they walk by
A week later, its still there but with others
Walking around, observing everyone
Pa(trolling)

I don't get it
There are no eggs to protect there
There is no food there
They just muster around, walking up and down
About 15 of them
I counted!

But then I noticed the bank
If you look at the picture again you'll notice a little stream
Its actually a pretty long drop and at the bottom is a bank of water
WITH DUCKS
Who are oblivious to the recon pigeons above
Are the pigeons planning to take the ducks territory?
Are the pigeons creating a small staging are for domination?
OR am I just killing time till I take a much needed shower?
The answer is both!
Also, I noticed this

Pigeons march like Nazis!
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!

A Serious Question

2011-05-07T19:23:00.002+01:00

Do you think I should apply for the next Mortal Kombat Tournament?
I'm 20, do I have potential?
I've also got a grudge with Scorpion
I was car-pooling with him to work and he set the car on fire, just because I didn't want to listen to Chris Moyles on Radio 1
Oh wait, it wasn't a car
It was a bike
pedal-bike
But still...
I would fight for the realm of Dick
Where everyone is a dick
Not a penis, that is the realm of homosexual fantasy
No, in this realm, everyone is just a super-mega dickhead and piss each other off

Heres an example of my skills

He was out of the kitchen and didn't make me a sandwich

So naturally, I had to

Sometimes I let him try on hats

This would be my fatality
Re-enact scene from Company of Heroes - Opposing Fronts
Great Game by the way
What was I blogging about?
Oh yea, swans
They're pretty cool, I would enjoy one as a pet and call it Beth.
...
cya
MILKSHAKE LIFE BLUD WORD

Three Cheers for Gore!

2011-05-06T17:58:00.012+01:00

When I was a little kid, I remember my dad bringing home a Super Nintendo with a variety of games...
One of them being the very first Mortal Kombat!
Now, I don't know if it had any effect on me, seeing the violence of it at such a young age
But with the very first one compared to the latest in gore...
Its like comparing Super Babies (an actual movie...) to Saw!

The new Mortal Kombat IS FUCKING BRUTAL!
One example is at the end of a fight on the stage 'deadpool', you can uppercut your opponent into the surrounding sea of acid
Then watch slowly, as all their skin peels off and burns, until there is nothing but a screaming mess of flesh and bone.
Its haunting.
I'm not moaning at all
I love it!
Here is my attempt at a review

There is a lot to do in the latest installment - a lengthy story mode, challenge tower, arcade and tag team ladder, lots of unlockable content and the return of 'test your...' skill games. So much so, I've had to come back and edit this post about 4 times, adding stuff I just remembered.

The story mode starts right out from the very beginning of the Mortal Kombat series, and breathes new life into it with brilliant animation and production values. The story starts off showing Mortal Kombat - Armageddon, as all the popular characters from the years... lay dead after a gigantic battle, for example; Sonya Blade has been torn in half as some weird, outworld vultures feast and fight over her corpse. There are many other visuals like this, as the camera carries on up a gigantic, Aztec-like pyramid, where at the top, Raiden is getting his ass handed to him by Shao Khan. As the 5 tonne Emperor gloats about his inevitable victory, Raidens seal-thing breaks (I'm not 100% sure what it is but I gathered its important). However, the god of thunder manages to send vague messages to his past self, warning him of things to come (yea that's right! he's a god, he can do that! don't question it). This transitions to Raiden at the beginning of the 10th Mortal Kombat tournament, where he receives these messages, and the seal he has, slightly cracks. From then on its a great story, that made me more interested in the Mortal Kombat world then ever before. The cut-scenes (that seamlessly transition into fights) are laced with brilliant graphics, animation and voice acting.

Challenge Tower consists of more then 100... well, challenges. You start off from the bottom and work your way up one at a time, doing some easy ones to begin with, as you slowly move up. Some are simple fighting scenerios that can help you get to grips with the combo entering interface, and some are fun and inventive, like holding off a swarm of zombies with a characters projectile attack! In challenge tower though, you don't pick a character, one is assigned to you for different stages, which isn't a problem, as the roster is of good size and its great to get a chance to play as all of them. Every challenge you complete gives an amount of coins to spend in The Krypt, another Mortal Kombat classic coming back.

In the Krypt, you manovuer around a very grotesque and rather depressing area, consisting of 4 sections. They are filled with people waiting to die! You spend some points on a chosen spot, then depending on what section you are in, the guy you clicked on will die in a horrifying way... just so you can unlock some game content
Happy now? huh? mister big shot!?
The content includes alternate character costumes, fatalities, artwork and codes for you to enter, that enable certain fun aspects; like headless combat or no blocking! My favourite! I also unlocked one called 'no blood'... WHAT?! WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO USE THAT?!
"Oh I bought Mortal Kombat, I hope I can turn the blood off"
Pussies...

Ones I haven't met and probably imagining but still getting pissed off about

But even if you do turn it off, there is NO WAY of escaping the pure brutality of the actual fighting.

The previous Mortal Kombat instalment (vs DC Universe) was still violent but felt subdued. Understandably, DC didn't want their characters, like Batman and Wonder Woman, getting their heads ripped off or being disintegrated by acid! So the fatalities were toned down.
But now, they're more brutal then ever!
Here is a prime example from a compilation a fan made, unfortunately, not with the original audio, as the sounds themselves can make you cringe with bloody delight!
NOT FOR THE FEINT OF HEART!

JESUS.FUCKING.CHRIST!
AWESOME!

All of the fatality's are like this, and combat usually involves you getting stabbed in the eyes or gut many times as pints of blood willingly jump out.
There is also the new x-ray moves that seem to be just as bad as fatalities but can be executed during the fight.
As soon as you initiate one, the screen will go into an x-ray mode as you see the recipient's bones or organs breaking.
One example is Kitana's
She makes her fans into two daggers...
THEN DRIVES THEM INTO THE BACK OF YOUR SKULL
flips around to your front, pulls the daggers out
AND DRIVES THEM RIGHT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING EYES AND TO THE BACK OF YOUR BRAIN!
Although the video below isn't Kitana's, it still emphasizes the pure brutality and insanity of this game!

Along with being visually impressive, they become tactical as well
A new super bar at the bottom of the screen fills up depending on offence and defence.
One third full, and you can 'enhance' a super move to do more damage
Two thirds and you can break an enemy's combo at any time with the press of the block button
And all full means you can execute your x-ray move
So you have to choose, try and fill it all the way to cause massive damage
Or use the little perks gained to keep control on the battle!

The Arcade ladder is another classic
Its simple
You fight your way up a randomized ladder of opponents, as they increase in difficulty
Until you face off against The Emperor Shao Khan
Like your own Mortal Kombat tournament laid out for you! Theres also the return of 'Test Your...' challenges, with the classic 'Test Your Might', where you bash the face buttons to fill up a power bar to a certain point, then press the trigger for your character smash through the given material, such as wood or stone. Then there is 'Test Your Sight', much like a guy in a New York Sub Way hustling you for money, an eye ball is placed under one of three heads, they then shuffle around, as you have to pick the right one containing the eye ball... alright, maybe not like a guy in the sub way... but you get what I mean, where he cheats and takes your money, and you obviously picked the right one!
...
bastard...

Then there is 'Test your luck', where before the battle begins, a slot reel spins, and certain positive and negative mutators are randomly selected to make the battle interesting, for instance; always have a full super bar, no dashing, constant earthquakes! etc.

Anyway, back to the arcade,
After beating Shao Khan, you will see a narrated illustration for your characters ending
There is also a tag team ladder, that acts just like arcade, except you got a buddy!
Taking on other buddy's!

Not talking about online
Sift through my blog for when I played Marvel vs Capcom online and you'll understand!

I seriously recommend this game to the blood thirsty gaming fans!
9/10
No really, its that fucking good!

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT!

2011-05-04T15:52:00.001+01:00

*Insert techno theme tune here*

*Thank you*

Today has just been a string of victorys

I headed into town today with the ultimate objective of buying the new Mortal Kombat
I had to trade in three other games for it though, but I didn't play them anyway
The RRP for it is £39.99
and I got it for just £16.99!
First, I found a copy of it PRE-OWNED! already
What the fuck...
Its only been out for like two weeks over here in England
Anyway
so, the pre-owned price was £34.99
Then I traded in three games, reducing the price to £19.49
SHA-ZAM
Then, I handed over a rewards card and got £2.50 off
Bringing us to £16.99
BARGIN-TALITY!

I also bought some new shoes for £10
guy shoes that is
they had a label on them that said 'out of season'
I literally blurted out to myself
"Out of season? like I give a shit!"
If anyone, in the history of humanity, has ever not bought a piece of clothing because its 'out of season', then I pity you
FUCKING BARGIN-TASTIC MAN!

Well, thats my Self-Indulgent ramble over with

Its my boyfriends birthday today and hes 20, finally an 'adult apparently' as he likes to say =D

He's no doubt having a great day and I can't wait to see him

And to all who have read this
HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Fable III

2011-05-04T03:12:00.000+01:00

Almost all the citizens died
pissed me off!
Can hardly buy anything from shops
So the lesson is
'If you be a good person and keep your promises, everyone will die'
GOOD NIGHT KIDS!

ROLFCOPTER

2011-05-04T02:56:00.002+01:00

I've noticed most of my hits come from people searching for teenage crossdressers on google
mmmhaha
hahahaha
...
HAHAHAHA
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA
RRAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
VICTORY!

Not that I mind at all
I'll take anything to boost my ego
... I'm actually greatful this blog gets picked out of the millions of possible others
but if you are one of those people, your search is not in vain
HERE ARE SOME

Now you've seen them...
REMEMBER THIS FACE!

I had too many different types of cocktails! ... no pun intended

COME CLOSER!

Back to a nice one

NOW THIS!

ALL HAIL CAESER
KTHXBAI