This is my second birthday during this pandemic and the second one I’m spending quarantined in my house, still too nervous to eat at a restaurant or be around others who may not have taken this virus as seriously as my family has, so it would be entirely expected that I’d be overjoyed to leave 51 behind.

But here’s the thing: I’ve enjoyed 51 tremendously. I’ve felt more like myself and grown more in the past 12 months than I have in years. In fact, I’ve enjoyed it so much it’s just begging me to come out and write a letter to 52. And if you’ve been around this blog long enough, you know I’m never one to resist a good letter.

Especially on birthdays.

Dear 52,
I see you’re on your way to take my place, but I’ve gotta say, I’m not quite ready to leave. I’ve really enjoyed it here. Sure, my entrance wasn’t at all what I was told it would be, which was a little disappointing. I mean I was promised a day in the Florida Keys on the beach, but what I got instead was 35 degrees in Minnesota with some dry crock-pot chicken and the onset of an uncertain but certainly terrifying pandemic. However, seeing the whole family safely together around the table after the frantic few days leading up to it was — dare I say? — even better.

Despite what you might think, my time here wasn’t dull. I both learned and was taught some valuable lessons. Before 50 left she told me about the importance of setting boundaries, and while she was still a little shaky on being good at it — she was about 30 years late to that party, after all — she passed along a lot of good information that I’ve tried hard to keep up with. And wouldn’t you know it? 50 was right. By working hard continuously to free myself of the weight of guilt and responsibility for others’ reactions and feelings in response to things I felt were right for me was freeing, and a game-changer for my mental health. I felt better about a lot of aspects of my life than I ever have before! Thanks, 50! You were right, it’s never too late!

Being here wasn’t all work, though. I had some serious downtime. Sure, we were quarantined in some heavy and uncertain months, but I was able to balance staying safe and more grateful than ever with some activities that fed my very soul. Correct me if I’m wrong, 52, but while 35-50 thrived being outdoors, I don’t think one of them appreciated the green and the fresh air as much as I did. From long walks and bike rides to morning kayak rides that lasted for hours to floating on the lake on my back and watching the puffy white clouds to jumping off the boat or dock in glee, there was something about spring and summer that just hit differently this year. So my advice to you, 52, is to not take one leaf, one ripple in the water, one windy day you complain about even though the sun is shining and you are healthy and alive, for granted. Get out and live it. Think you can do that?

Perhaps one of the biggest reasons I’m dragging my feet out the door, though, is because I simply don’t want to leave. We started something pretty spontaneous and amazing in the fall that I really want to ride out! If I went back and told 45, 48, or hell, even 50 about the wild fun and surprising success of the podcast that was started so spontaneously — and especially of the friendships it deepened — they’d be like “the f*ck you say??” Honestly, their heads would explode. The time, work, commitment, and daily, deep fulfillment of the past six months has been wildly fun and so much more than gratifying. Instead of feeling sad to pass it on, I guess should feel lucky I got to be part of it, right?

So 52, my message to you is simple: Keep it up. Keep working every day to be grateful, to respect and honor yourself, to find beauty in the things around you, to work hard every day to engage the appreciative and supportive community you and your friends have built, to keep striving to be better, and most importantly, to keep finding joy in all of it!

And as for those neck wrinkles? We just slather them with cream twice a day and tell ourselves they’ll disappear. So far, 40 on up has believed it.

Have fun!
51

RELATED BIRTHDAY POSTS:
The Freedom In 51
49 Pass The Wine
This Is 46
Dear Me

The post Dear 52 … appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

Well, some of us.

Others gave up mid-April and have been galavanting around with friends and family with whom they do not live as if none of this applies to them. I didn’t think it was possible for me to be angrier than I was in, say July, yet here we are.

But back to those of us who, nine months later, are still taking things a seriously as we did March 12 — actually more seriously now that we know what the selfish fucks previously mentioned have created.

I don’t know about you, but I’m hitting a wall. It was all fun and games for a while (literally, right? How many of you also played games and baked tasty items and did puzzles and art projects like it was camp during the first couple of months?) and then we were distracted by the election and the holidays, and now that the country seems to be imploding in front of our eyes and COVID is worse than ever (thanks to the selfish fucks who keep gathering with other people without masks — yeah, I’m gonna keep saying it because I’m pissed as hell) I just want to go somewhere — ANYWHERE. But I don’t see it happening anytime soon.

My family of four is still isolating.
We still haven’t been around anyone but each other — without masks and closer than 6′ — since March.
NINE MONTHS.

My older daughter who works in a veterinary clinic is the only one of us who leaves the house to go anywhere other than the nearby Target or the grocery store. Her skin is raw from all the hand washing and showering she does on a daily basis.

My 19yo daughter — who should be living it up with friends in college right now — hasn’t seen a friend in person (without a mask) since March, and only then a handful of times. She takes long drives by herself often just to get out of the house.

I podcast out of my closet amidst my old wedding dress and a bunch of clothes I haven’t worn in over a year, which I’ve realized I don’t actually like anyway. I stopped making dinner months ago.

My husband has gotten to the point where he sometimes misses going to the office. If that’s not a sign things are getting old hat around here, I don’t know what is.

And listen, I know we’re not sacrificing anything compared to the front line workers and the health care workers — I have nothing to complain about and everything to be grateful for, I hope that goes without saying.
But still, I’m tired of this.

I want someone else to cook a meal for me.
And clean it up.
I want to go to a show and see live theatre.
I want to go to the movies.
I want to complain about being too busy.
I want to pack for a trip and get on an airplane.
I want to browse in a bookstore.
I want to meet a friend for coffee.
I want to go shopping at an actual store.
I want to go to the frigging MALL.
I want to go to the store or to Target and not have to come home and spend half an hour wiping every single thing down with a Clorox wipe.
I want to meet up with friends for dinner.
I want to watch a football game, talk show, or awards show with real people in the seats.
I want to go to Happy Hour.
I want to open social media and not burn with anger towards my friends who post photos of themselves with people they obviously do not live with — without masks.

I want to make plans.
I want to look forward to something.
I want to know that everything will be alright.

What about you?
How you doin’?

The post 9 Month Quarantine Check-In: How you doin’? appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

Plus, I have a roundup of yearly favorites to share, naturally.

So you can read through my reflections and lessons from this complicated and convoluted year or just scroll straight to the favorites list at the end.
Although you might miss the big giveaway announcement.

Winter 2020: Change

As I mentioned in this post back in January 2020 began with change.
(Excuse me while I go laugh until I cry for 45 minutes.)

But in January, three months into our new lives as empty nesters, my husband and I had finally fallen into somewhat of a new normal without our girls in the same state as us.
And shockingly, we didn’t hate it.
We had settled into a new groove that included a ton of travel (and not just to visit our kids), dinners for two, binging new shows and movies we’d meant to for years, date nights on weekdays, and lots of plans for fun in the coming months.

I rebranded this blog to be more centered on life as empty nesters and spent hours working with a webmaster who guided me through a major redesign. I was energized again to write about the new direction my life was going and felt motivated in a way I hadn’t in a few years.

Both our girls were trucking along on their paths — maybe not always easily — but moving forward just the same.

At the beginning of March, the rest of 2020 was an open, exciting book of plans and possibility. Sure, life looked different, but it also was moving along as it should.

Lessons from winter:
•Embrace change
•Work toward new goals
•Rediscover who you are and who you want to be
•Pack one more long sleeve than you think you’ll need

Spring 2020: You Want Change? You Got It.

So then March came and justlikethat my empty nest became full again.

Seriously, what the holy hell just happened?!?

I blinked and my house was full of dirty dishes in the sink, stacks of tubs in the hallways, a pile of shoes in the mudroom (so, so many shoes), but voices and laughter I hadn’t heard all together in this house in a very, very long time.

Like everyone else, I was shocked, saddened, and stunned at the changes that instantly happened in our lives — both my girls abruptly having to leave their school and job, spring break plans and spring plans in general canceled — but those things were far overshadowed by the feeling of gratitude that we were all safe, healthy, and best of all, together.

I soaked in every moment of our quarantine because after all, I knew in a month or two things would most likely be back to “normal” and my house would once again be empty and quiet.

So we did what millions of people did and treated this new, bizarre, unexpected life like camp for awhile: puzzles, LEGO Architecture sets, watercolor and crochet days, card games, movie nights, long walks outside, and more Cheetos than we knew was smart. Despite the horror of the pandemic, we kind of lived like we were on vacation.

Lessons from spring:
•Gratitude for all that we have
•Appreciation for little joys in life
•Flexibility (i.e., a full nest means my husband and I have to wear clothes more often, wah wah)
•Realization that is possible to grow tired of taking naps

Summer 2020: Isolation, Quaranscenery, And Important Lessons

By June we realized this virus wasn’t fucking around.
It became apparent that no one’s life was going to go back to “normal” for who knew how long.
At least in our house.

Maddeningly, an alarming percentage of the population felt above the guidelines and didn’t think they needed to play by the rules or act responsibly toward their fellow humans, but that’s a rant I’ve exhausted many times, and since it doesn’t seem to make a difference in the behavior of the selfish people who are an enormous reason this virus is as out of control as it is, I’m not going to give them any more attention than they deserve, because all they really deserve is COVID.

At the same time we were filled with respect and admiration for all the frontline workers who put themselves at risk daily … which actually fueled the anger toward those ignoring the rules even more, so it was kind of a double-edged sword.

With my husband now working remotely, we were fortunate to hunker down at the lake, and spent most of our summer in complete isolation.

Through daily walks and bike rides on the many beautiful trails, days spent on the lake, and evenings with my family either all individually glued to our own screens or all together playing a game or watching a show, gratitude continued to play a daily part of my life (and my journaling) as the world seemed to explode around us … and here in Minneapolis, I mean that quite literally.

The scary events and subsequent civil unrest in June prompted many, many discussions, questions, reflections, and lessons in our family. Maybe we couldn’t solve anything, but what we could do was to be cognizant of our own shortcomings, aware of a broader capacity for knowledge and understanding, and pledge to continue to learn.

By mid-summer I decided it was time to stop blaming 2020 for my lack of motivation and made myself get off my ass and do something — anything — that might fill me with purpose, even if sitting on the deck reading and eating Cheetos was more fun.

After reaching out to an editor at AARP’s The Girlfriend and pitching an article on Fangirling After 50 (which she accepted) I had what I thought was just a routine call with a couple of friends to pick their brains about my upcoming article.

What I couldn’t have known at the time was that that call was about to lead to something that would change my life.

Lessons from summer:
•My soul is fueled by trees, fresh air, and green
•For 23 years I’ve been way too hard on Minnesota; I’ve never felt so fortunate for its beauty or appreciated it more
•Many, many people are disappointing human beings and my capacity for anger is far greater than I knew, yet so is my appreciation and respect for all those who put themselves at risk to help others
•Stop making excuses
•Put yourself out there
•Wear the two-piece bathing suit … and own the shit out of it

Fall 2020: Plot Twists

September arrived and with it came a change in almost all our paths. For the past few months, they’d been twisty for sure; and for my younger daughter, difficult to navigate as she grappled with some major life decisions which were accompanied by some major mental health struggles.

After many weeks of stressful debate, she made the difficult decision not to return to her Connecticut campus (COVID fears, sure, but other factors playing a part as well) and began her sophomore year remotely, which, for a Musical Theatre major isn’t exactly desirable … or effective.

My older daughter found a job at a veterinary clinic, which, while not at all on her path as an aspiring marine mammal trainer, was a paycheck (and animal experience) until zoos are once again hiring.

And that call that I had in August with my two friends? That call became a giant fork in my path as it led the three of us to create and produce a podcast, something that over the past few months has filled me with more purpose and joy than anything I’ve done in years. When life gives you a pandemic, join the mob and start a podcast. Why not?

{Shameless plug alert} Our podcast, Pop Culture Preservation Society, is all about preserving and elevating the pop culture nuggets of our GenX childhoods. We discuss and dissect all the crushes, books, movies, music, and toys that shaped our youth. We’re available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and are getting great reviews (some from people we don’t even know)! We also have started a super fun Instagram page full of nostalgic images where many people are connecting and sharing their own stories. It’s honestly more than we ever hoped for, more work and hours than we ever expected, and more satisfying than we dreamed!

However, not all the events of the fall were positive or uplifting. At the end of September, we had to say a heartbreaking goodbye to a furry family member who has been an enormous part of our story for 18 years. Our sweet calico, Leea, who lived a life full of love and was devoted to all of us, finally told us it was time to let her go. We were — and still are — devastated by her absence. If there was anything positive about the pandemic-forced quarantine, it’s that we were all here together to say goodbye and to hold each other up.

Despite all the excitement and consumption of the new podcast (as well as having my writing published in a couple of publications that had been on my bucket list), menopause, hormones, and mental health issues didn’t seem to get the memo that things were good, and the combination of all three things exploding at once has been NO JOKE.

For the past few months I’ve been struggling with some nasty anxieties (among some other challenging things I’m working to deal with), but with the help of my trusty therapist and some new things I’m trying, I feel like I’m turning a corner and am optimistic about the days to come.

And speaking of plot twists and mental health (which is something I will never shy away from speaking about), a few weeks ago my younger daughter made the very difficult, scary, mature, and BRAVE decision to completely change her path and transferred from her BFA Musical Theatre program in CT to a BA Theatre program here at the University of Minnesota! After the past nine months she’s had a lot of time to think about what she wants, and you know what? She doesn’t know! And that’s okay! Respecting herself enough to know when to pivot — and have the courage to do it — is an honorable thing to do at age 19, and I couldn’t be prouder of her choice.

Whew. The fall was a LOT.
And while it may look like we’re ending the year much like our spring looked like — staying inside and isolated, often bored with pretty much everything around us, watching too much TV, eating too many Cheetos — we’ve all grown and changed in ways none of us could have imagined in January and continue to be grateful for every moment.

Lessons from winter:
•Embrace change (FULL CIRCLE HERE, PEOPLE)
•Be kind to yourself
•Get help when you need it
•Take risks
•BE BRAVE
•Life is full of surprises and plot twists — embrace them
•Cheese is a perfectly acceptable dinner

Looking Ahead to 2021

Hahahahahahaha.
If 2020 has taught me anything, it’s not to make plans.

And now, for those of you who’ve read all the way through, congrats! — you made it to the 2020 Favorites’ List!
And for those of you who skipped to the end, it’s okay, I totally understand. I write this stuff for myself mostly, anyway.
(And as for the big giveaway … I said “might.”)

2020 Favorites!

Okay, ya’ll, these are strictly in list form.
I’m tired of typing and don’t want to explain each one.
You’re welcome.

Just know these are in no particular order and no judging for my choices. You may disagree but isn’t that what makes America great? Well, that, and the new POTUS and VPOTUS, obviously.

FAVORITE BOOKS OF 2020

The Vanishing Half
Always The Last To Know
Wild Game (A Memoir)
28 Summers
I Was Told It Would Get Easier
Dear Emmie Blue
Anxious People

FAVORITE SHOWS OF 2020

Schitt’s Creek Season 6
Bridgerton
Little Fires Everywhere
The Morning Show
Ted Lasso
This Is Us
The Unicorn
Cobra Kai (I said no judging)

FAVORITE PODCASTS OF 2020

Pop Culture Preservation Society (duh)
Smartless
Kelly Corrigan Wonders

FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2020

(This is hard because I honestly can’t remember a movie I watched)

Happiest Season
Onward
The Bee Gees Documentary, “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart”

Happy New Year!
Wishing all of you peace, hope, and a new year full of lessons!

The post 2020 Favorites: Lessons Learned From A Weird AF Year appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

Do you have little things you use all the time (if not every day) that quickly get taken for granted? Things you love but are so used to that they rarely get the love? Poor things! Today I thought I’d share a few of mine with you … which gives you plenty of time to hustle to Target to buy and then conveniently leave out for someone to put in your stocking or under the tree. Or, fine, for you to buy for someone else (but let’s be honest, that’s just not as much fun).

*Most photo links are to Amazon, where yes I do get pennies if you click through and buy, but since no one ever has and I have yet to earn .01 from this blog in the almost nine years of its existence, please do not think I’m gauging you. I honestly do not care where you buy this stuff from. I really just needed a photo.

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Hydrating Water Gel

I’ve been using this soft, smooth, sensational smelling gel for years now. I just love it. It’s called hydration boost for a reason — you instantly feel your skin soak it in the moment you rub it on (actually, it’s so smooth it glides on).

I use it year-round but appreciate it most in winter, where here in Minnesota our dry, cold outside air and overly heated inside air cause our skin to feel like stretched-our Rhino leather. Every morning, right after I get up, I glob this on my dry face and neck, and it feels amazing. Does it help wrinkles? I mean, I’ve been using it for years and still am shocked by my reflection every day (seriously, who is that?), so I’ll say probably no, but it’s totally worth it for how — and here I’m going to use a word we all detest but one that actually fits perfectly — moist it makes your skin feel. Plus, it smells heavenly (my husband thinks it smells a little like summer).

Neutrogena makes a whole line of the Hydro Boost Gel lotions for all areas of your body, too. I also keep a small tube of it in my purse for my hands.

Vegamour GRO+ Hair Serum

In the summer of 2019 I noticed a serious balding spot on my right temple. Like, I was shocked.
I talked to my doctor who ran thyroid and vitamin deficiency tests, and when they all came back okay she told me it could be stress.
Oh, well then, why didn’t you lead with that? Could’ve saved me like two vials of blood.

Anyway, I was despondent. Seriously. I don’t have much hair to begin with; I can use a braces band to tie off the end of a braid.
I’m not joking.

I was complaining and lamenting about is so much that I magically started getting ads for hair growth serums in my newsfeeds. Naturally.

So I did a little research and landed with Vegamour, because of the unbelievable before/after pics, because it’s all-natural (no toxins or hormones and 100% cruelty-free), satisfaction is guaranteed, and because last year on Black Friday they had an amazing deal.

I chose the GRO+ Serum, and the first three months you have to use a dropper twice a day, which means you do go through about a bottle a month which is a bit of an investment, but one I was willing to make.

I’ve stuck with it for about a year now (now I use a dropper every night — just massage it in my upper scalp) and you guys, it’s a noticeable difference. Not only in my balding spot (which I wouldn’t even really call bald anymore), but I swear I lose far less hair after every shower than I used to.

While I may not have the luscious hair the “after” models have, I believe it’s working and I plan to stick with it. Check out their website; they have a lot of great products! Pricey? Sure, but if they work, worth it. Oh, and their customer service is amazing!

Jergens Lavender Body Butter

Back to lotions.
I discovered Jergens Body Butter this summer and am obsessed. It’s thicker than lotion (why it’s called butter, obviously) and smells amazing — but not Bath & Body Works strong. (I love me some BBW but honestly can only stand a couple of the lighter, spa scents anymore. Most of their stuff is way too strong and makes me gag a little bit.)

I am obsessed with this lavender butter, and use it every single night on my arms, hands, and chest before I go to sleep. They have a few other scents, too. I keep the Eucalyptus Mint on my desk for a little pick-me-up when I’m working (again, totally approachable, mild scent). There’s also a Citrus I keep meaning — and forgetting — to try, and a Rose scent I will not try (not a fan of the smell of fake roses).

Gold Bond Neck Firming Cream

Here’s a wrinkle-reducing cream that I do know works. I mean, relatively speaking.

I started using this Gold Bond Neck firming cream twice a day about six months ago and I actually think I might see an improvement in the way my neck looks! IDK, let’s also not forget I cannot see anything without like two strengths of readers so the blur could be from my eyes.

At any rate, this little tube of magic gets fantastic reviews, so I’ll keep using it and telling myself that by next year my neck will look like it did 20 years ago.

No. 7 Wrinkle Remover Serum

Let’s keep the wrinkle removing going, shall we?

I’ve been using this No. 7 Wrinkle Removing Serum religiously for probably a year and a half on a few (cough) problem areas on my face, and you guys, I swear the wrinkles are less visible! I’d show you the before and after pics but the lines are to the sides of my mouth and I don’t want my sagging jowls blown up on your screen.

But for real, the skin around my mouth is slowly drooping like a bulldog. It’s getting out of hand. I’m super self consciuous of it. My dermatologist tells me he can inject some fillers above it and it will pull it up, but honestly, I’d rather look like a bulldog than Meg Ryan. (He swears I wouldn’t but I’m sure that’s what Meg Ryan’s doctor told her, too.)

So anyway, besides the sagging face muscles, there are — were — deep lines as well. But after dedicated use — twice a day — of this serum, they’re definitely less visible! I also rub it in the wrinkles between my eyebrows and on my forehead (no Botox for me because I’m certain I’d be the cautionary tale) and I’ve also noticed a difference there.

I know, it’s pricey, but I wait for Target or the No. 7 website to have it on special — which they often do — and buy a few at once. One vial lasts me about 3 months. I also use a lot of the other “Protect & Perfect” No. 7 face serums and creams and love them all.

No. 7 Hydrogel Eye Masks

Oh! And as these No. 7 under-eye masks are amazing! I honestly have no idea if they diminish wrinkles or not, but they are so hydrating that they have to be doing something, right? Plus, I totally feel like a celebrity when I use them.

Epsom Salts

Full disclosure: I do not use Dr. Teals Epsom Salts. They’re way too expensive. I actually get the Target Brand, which is right next to the Dr. Teals on the shelf, and only like $4 a bag. However, I needed a photo to be able to use here.

I take a hot bath every night.
I have my entire life.*
Years and years ago I had to stop using any kind of bubble bath or liquids because they were activating The Beast (what we call a yeast infection in my house). So I switched to salts.

They say Epsom salts help sore muscles, but I have yet to confirm that, even after years and years of using them with post-workout pains. Honestly, I think it’s psychological. But what I do appreciate is the magnesium hopefully filtrating into my body — because lord knows we all need more magnesium to help us sleep (but not enough to make you run to the potty — been there, done that).

I use lavender salts when I want to relax, and I use Eucalyptus when I take a middle-of-the-day bath to recharge (yes, that is too a thing). Again, I appreciate the mild scent, and the softness of the salt is heavenly. And again, get the less expensive Target brand. You have to use like 2 cups in each bath and it can get pricey.

*Explains all the lotions in this post

Frasier Fir Essential Oil (+ Diffuser)

It seems like all my favorite things revolve around scents, doesn’t it? It’s true that I use pleasing smells to help relax, and this time of year there’s nothing better than the smell of Frasier Fir — diffused, of course.

By now we know that I don’t like strong scents, which makes using an essential oil diffuser the perfect solution for me because I can control how much oil I put in and how strong the smell is. I keep a diffuser on my desk in my office, and throughout the year I switch up the oils I use, but right now I’ve been sticking with this Frasier Fir, and seriously, it makes my office smell so good. Just the perfect amount of fir-i-ness.

I got my diffuser years ago and love it because it has a lime green light, but you can find diffusers in pretty much any shape, size, color that makes you happy. And they’re pretty cheap! Amazon doesn’t sell mine anymore, but here’s a photo I took of my desk so you can see the green glow!
I just wish you could scratch-n-sniff.

Vionic Slippers

Okay, they’re not the prettiest slippers in the class, let’s just all admit that and move on. Because sometimes it’s not about looks, but what’s inside that counts, right??

About three years ago I was diagnosed with Plantar’s Fasciitis — terrible heel and arch pain. However, for decades I haven’t been able to walk barefoot on our hardwood floors without pain. (Really, the only place I can go barefoot is at the beach.) I have to put arch inserts in all my shoes (I love these Blue Footbeds from Birkenstock — I have several pairs and just slip them under the insoles of all my shoes).

I used to love UGG slippers, but honestly, where’s the arch? So a few years ago I tried (and returned) a bunch of brands of slippers and landed with Vionic. I’ve had a few different styles over the past three years (I wear them year round so go through about two pairs a year) but this year am really liking these “Indulge Carlin Flannel Mules.”

Warning: The arch support is not for the faint of heart. Especially at first. It feels very high and very hard, but after you’ve worn them in about a week it relaxes and actually kind of molds to your foot and arch. And after awhile, they actually start to look kind of cute.

Bombas Socks

I’m obsessed with Bombas socks. I think I discovered them via Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast a year and a half ago (at least) and I used his code to try them out.

I was skeptical.
I mean, socks are socks, right?
Nope.
Bombas socks actually hug your feet and never stretch out. And the no-shows actually stay in place. I have many pairs of the cushioned no-shows (my absolute favorite) but also love the athletic socks. I’m hoping for a pair of Grover socks in my stocking this year (and a few other pairs that I already *cough* ordered).

Check out all the fun styles and patterns on their website!

Dr. Dan’s Cortibalm Lip Balm

It’s entirely possible I’ve shared this lip magic with you before because I’ve been addicted for a few years now, but it’s so good I’m sharing it again.

My dermatologist is actually the person who recommended this to me (and they sell it at his office) so you know it’s that good. The secret ingredient? Hydrocortisone! I keep tubes of this everywhere — purse, desk, car, nightstand, travel bags — and honestly, cannot go to sleep until I’ve smeared it on my lips.

Oh, and sorry, but you can’t get it at Target. I order these 3-packs from Amazon and they last a long time!

That’s all the things I can think of (today). I hope you found one or two of them interesting enough to slip in your stocking (or fine, someone else’s).

Happy moisturizing and relaxing!

The post (You’re my) Favorite THINGS! appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

One of my favorite things she made was perhaps the simplest-seeming: sugared walnuts. She made them every Christmas, and from the first time I tried them I was obsessed. For the next several years, she’d always have a batch made just for me.

My sweet mother-in-law passed away tragically in 1995, and over the past two and a half decades I’ve done my best to recreate some of her recipes. Some have become staples in our house (come over for dinner and you’ll most likely get a plate of spaghetti covered by her sumptuous sauce that’s been cooking all day, followed by a hefty slice of chocolate-chip Bundt cake), and some I’ve tried, failed, and given up on, realizing that it’s better to have the memory of her delicious creations than of my failures.

A few years after she died I decided to try my hand at making the sugared walnuts. They only had like five ingredients (right up my alley), so how hard could they be? Like most candy, the success depended completely on the boiling point. Get it to 242° and you’d have sugary perfection; get it a degree cooler or hotter and you’d have walnuts that tasted just not quite right.

I had triumphs with the walnuts.
I also had a few disasters (oh, 242°, you specific bitch, you are my nemesis).
And after about four or five years and more failures than successes, I gave up.

Until this year.
I mean, 2020 has already kicked us to the curb, I figured one failed batch of sugared walnuts wasn’t going to break me.
But I was wrong.
Sort of.

After braving the COVID germs at Costco for a jumbo bag of walnuts (because I refuse to pay the same price for 1/3 of the amount of walnuts at the store, even if it means we’ll have walnuts until 2022), I unearthed the old recipe I’d copied from her back in the early ’90s on my Suzy’s Zoo recipe cards (my first set of recipe cards, I believe) and gathered my ingredients.

I boiled the honey and sugar to exactly 242° (thank you, digital thermometer) and stirred in 4 1/2 cups of the walnuts (about half the bag). I spread them carefully on the parchment paper and started to clean up.

And that’s when I saw the bottle of vanilla on the counter.
The unused bottle of vanilla.
The bottle of vanilla I was to have opened and put into the hot liquid before adding the walnuts — a small amount, sure, but an imperative ingredient.

SHIT.

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

After storming around the kitchen berating myself, my cooking competency, and 2020 (obviously), I furiously scrubbed out the saucepan.

I couldn’t give up.
For some (obvious) reason, I needed these sugared walnuts this year more than ever, and by god, I was going to keep trying until I got them right.
I mean, I had 10 cups of walnuts, so why not?

So I made a second batch while the first one was still cooling, effectively using up almost an entire bag of Costco walnuts. I boiled, again, to precisely 242°, made damn sure to put in the vanilla, and spread another 4 1/2 cups of walnuts out on a second cookie sheet to harden.

And you guys, guess what?
(Spoiler alert.)
I now have nine cups of delicious sugared walnuts in a year when I cannot safely give them out to people.
Because as it turns out, the vanilla isn’t actually as imperative as I thought.
Both pans turned out to taste exactly as I remembered them. (Honestly, I did a blind taste test, and I couldn’t tell which came from the non-vanilla pan and which ones did.)

Am I mad I used the next year’s ration of walnuts? Not at all.
Because when I put a sweet, sugary cluster in my mouth, I’m instantly transported back into a time when my mother-in-law gleaned great pleasure from filling our bellies and our hearts with love. And I can still hear her laughter, as I know she’d be chuckling at this story.

Sugared Walnuts

1 1/2 cups sugar
1/4 cup honey
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup water
1/2 tsp vanilla (or not, but I would)
4 1/2 cups walnuts (or other nuts)

Bring sugar, honey, salt, and water to a boil in a small saucepan, stirring frequently, to 242°.
Remove from heat. Stir in vanilla (or don’t), and add walnuts.
Stir until walnuts are coated.
Spread on wax paper or parchment paper and let harden (about 3 – 4 hours). Break apart.

The post Sugared Walnuts … The Recipe (and the memory) Lives On appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

In late July, however, I accepted that I wasn’t going to find fulfillment in a bag of Cheetos (besides the obvious) so I finally reached out to the editor of AARP’s newsletter, The Girlfriend, and pitched some ideas. One of the ideas she liked was an article on fangirling after 50. “Oh, I’ve got this,” I thought, knowing my lifetime of getting overly enthusiastic about anything pop culture-related could write the article itself. But at the same time, I felt the need to have a conversation with fellow fangirls to make the article more thorough … and I knew just who to reach out to.

A FANGIRL MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN … OR IN WRITING GROUP

I met Carolyn and Kristin when I joined their already-established writing group in March 2019. I’d been introduced to Carolyn the week before when I’d popped into Modernwell – a women-centered collaborative space in Minneapolis – to meet Julie Burton, the powerhouse who founded it (both Modernwell and the writing group). From the moment I met Carolyn, I knew she was a kindred fangirl.

“Oh, Carolyn, Michelle wrote about Parenthood for Entertainment Weekly,” Julie told her after introducing us. She knew she was dropping the best kind of bomb on us, and Carolyn’s obsession with Dax Shepard was something I felt immediately. Every molecule of her body came alive upon hearing the news. Her overenthusiastic reaction — and our 20-minute, rapid-fire, excited conversation about celebrities — solidified our instant bond.

Shortly thereafter, I met Kristin and learned of her recent mission to contact Shaun Cassidy to let him know that the children’s chapter book she’d recently written was inspired by her childhood crush on him. It seemed her letter writing efforts hadn’t paid off, so she and Carolyn were catching a flight to Santa Barbara to see his one-night-only show in the hopes of snaring his attention.
I was beyond intrigued.
Insanely envious.
Ridiculously excited for their quest.
“SHUT UP! THAT’S SO COOL,” I wanted to yell. “TAKE ME WITH YOU!” I longed to scream. But as the new girl, I kept my mouth shut. As someone who’d moved around most of my childhood and had countless times been the outsider stepping into established friendships full of histories and shared moments, my residual, lifelong issues kept me from doing more than smiling excitedly and wishing them a fun and successful trip.

Over the next year I felt less and less like the new girl, and my friendship — and shared enthusiasm for celebrity life, pop culture, and nostalgia —with Carolyn and Kristin happily grew.

And then came the aforementioned fangirling article … and my need for some more like-minded brains to pick.

A PODCAST IS BORN

On August 19, 2020 the three of us FaceTimed for a couple of hours and dissected not only what it meant to crush on celebrities back in the ‘70s and ‘80s but how those crushes still can give us what we need — in a different way — today. The conversation wound its way through many areas of our ‘70s childhoods and the pop culture items and moments that defined them, and we found ourselves screaming with excitement at the common connections we discovered we shared. We talked about the power of nostalgia — especially during this difficult time in our lives — and the comfort it was bringing.

And then, at the end of the call as we were all commenting how much fun our conversation had been, Carolyn said, “You guys, I’m starting a podcast where we talk about all of this. Write this date down, because we’ll want to remember it.”

*INSERT DRUM ROLL HERE

Fast forward three months; hours of socially distant preparation meetings; countless moments of research (we are producing this entire podcast ourselves … and from scratch), learning curves, and laughter; more shared nostalgic moments than I can count; and one published article in The Girlfriend; and here we are, working tirelessly to launch our podcast, the Pop Culture Preservation Society!

Because COVID has gotten out of hand here in Minnesota (and everywhere else), we’ve had to make adjustments to our recording schedule.

Until last week we’d been meeting and recording in person — staying safe, wearing masks when within 6′ of each other, and social distancing, of course — in a fun basement meeting room (at Modernwell, naturally) that we were slowly turning into our “groovy attic” with fun mementos of our ’70s childhoods.

But now, to stay safe and to keep everyone else safe, we’ve had to move our meetings and recording sessions to our homes … and for acoustics, to our closets.

It’s not the same, but the importance of preserving the pop culture nuggets of our childhoods — and let’s be real, to keep the enormous amount of fun we’re having going — is worth all the learning curves and inconveniences.

So, if you’re part of GenerationX and want to relive all the great pop culture memories and stories from your ’70s and early ’80s childhoods, I hope you’ll join the society and the conversation! Follow the fun we’re already having on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and stay TUNED for more info. about when our first episode will drop! And make sure to check out our website to learn more about the three of us!

The post How An Article On Fangirling Turned Me Into A Podcast Host appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

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Before I get to the fun stuff to distract you from the pain of the past few days, though, I have to use this space to speak my mind. After all, that’s what I created it for.

I’m not going to get political here, because here’s the thing: this election wasn’t about politics — it was about HUMAN DECENCY. I am stunned and shocked at the number of people who, with their vote, supported and encouraged hate, racism, inequality, dishonesty, disregard for human lives and rights, and oppression. What is wrong with people? What has happened to our country? The complete lack of humanity that is ongoing and rooted in ignorance is frightening, and the “living above the rules” mentality that is being perpetrated is alarming.

Listen, I’m all for celebrating and accepting differences and can overlook and accept a lot, and I’m happy to agree to disagree with many people I know on a variety of topics, but this is a whole different game. I cannot and will not accept a vote for qualities and issues that adversely attack and affect my family, many people I love, and millions of people I don’t even know. These issues and what’s at stake are far too important and meaningful to me to agree to disagree on.

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Moving on.

Since I haven’t posted any Friday Favorites in a while, I’ve got some good ones saved up for you, so grab something to take notes with, maybe a refreshing beverage and a snack that isn’t good for you (because after the week we’ve had you deserve all the Cheetos – wait, who what?), and let’s get to some good distractions.

The Unicorn (Netflix)

Instead of me telling you what this delightful show is about, just watch the trailer ~

I discovered this cute CBS show on Netflix about a month ago and quickly binged all 18 episodes. You guys, I couldn’t recommend it more highly. It’s the perfect quick escape and has everything: heart, humor (a LOT of humor, especially from neighbor friends Delia (Michaela Watkins) and Forrest (Rob Corddry), my absolute favorites), great acting (see: Delia and Forrest), fantastic writing, and kids who can actually act.

I love it when I discover a show late in the game because that means I don’t have to wait months or a year+ for the next season. Season 2 of The Unicorn is set to premiere November 12th on CBS, so get caught up now on Netflix!

Another show I’m super happy I missed the boat on when it first aired a year ago because now I don’t have to wait forever for the next season?

The Morning Show (Apple TV+)

I know you all know the premise so I’m not going to waste time recapping, but holy hell was I shocked at how much I was obsessed with everything about this show. I’m not a huge fan of Jennifer Aniston’s acting and only recently warmed to Reese Witherspoon’s (Big Little Lies made me a fan again), so I had very low expectations. But damn, I was blown away, not just by the way they (mostly) disappeared in their characters — which for each of them is really difficult to do anymore — but by the writing and the brilliant way the touchy topic (no pun intended) was handled as complicated: more “shades of gray” than black & white, which is often how so many people tend to think it is. Steve Carell is amazing — the entire ensemble is amazing. I’m going to watch it all over again with my husband (who didn’t watch), and am anxiously awaiting Season 2, which is rumored to drop in early 2021.

Other shows I’m watching:

The Voice (so glad this dream coaching team of four is back together)
Dancing With The Stars (Vote for Johnny and Justina!)
The Undoing – HBO Max (We watched the first two episodes last night and had the entire season been available we’d have stayed up all night watching. SO good. So intriguing. Plus, Hugh Grant.)
This Is Us (Good gracious gravy, who else watched that season premiere??)
Ted Lasso (Already watched once, am watching again because right now we all need a little Ted Lasso in our lives.)
Sappy Christmas movies (’tis the season for predictability and happy endings)

Cozy indoorsy (inexpensive) new clothes

Because I spend 99% of my life now inside my house — and will for the next six months thanks to COVID and winter — I’m updating my loungey, comfy inside clothes (and spending far less money than I would be on my usual new fall sweater(s) or pair(s) of sassy boots).

Here are some of my new favorites, all from Target, all “Stars Above” brand:

I love these soft joggers! I got them in this blush pink and in a light gray. I’ve been living in them! Find them HERE.
As you can see from the first pic, I’ve been wearing them with a Stars Above deliciously cozy chenille pullover (HERE). I’m wearing a size Small in the blush pink (above), but I also got a cream one like the one below in a size Medium that’s a bit roomier and snugglier.

I also have been living in these pajama pants (below). I can’t sleep in pants unless it’s really, really cold (thanks a lot, HORMONES) so even though these are technically PJ pants I wear them all day long. They’re flowy and loose and lightweight. It’s hard for me to find PJ pants that are long enough (I’m 5’8″) but these are, and bonus! — they have POCKETS. I have them in the navy striped (HERE) as well as a soft, gray.

As long as we’re at Target, let me tell you what else I just discovered and may or may not have already scooped up —

Target Christmas trees!

I look forward to Target putting out their Christmas stuff as much as I look forward to Christmas itself, I think. Even though they start filling their Christmas shelves around Halloween, I wait until it’s all out — the trees are up and decorated, the wrapping aisle is stocked, the annoying musical toys are there to annoy me as I walk by — and in pre-COVID days I’d get a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha and stroll leisurely along the rows, making multiple loops, examining every new ornament and decoration they have.

But as we know, this year is different.

While my girls and I have already scheduled a weekday morning later in the week to peruse when the store isn’t crowded with COVID germs, I’ve cheated a bit and already checked out the Home Decor section (where the Magnolia stuff is). And it’s a good thing I did, because look what I found!

You guys! I love me some good nostalgia, especially at Christmastime, and these gold trees (there are two sizes) are straight from the 1950s … and quite possibly the 60s. I snatched up this tall gold metallic Charlie Brown-ish one for my bedroom dresser, and these frosted little retro trees will live on my sofa table.

Seriously, if you like them, you better act fast. Especially if you live near me. I’m already wondering if I need more of them in my basement.

My New (Top Secret) Project

And speaking of nostalgia and retro stuff, I’ve been working really hard with two of my friends on a fun new project we’ll be unveiling sooooon! (Like, in the next few days soon!) If you’re a child of the 70s and early 80s, and you also enjoy this blog, I promise you’ll like it! (Well, actually, I can’t promise you’ll like it, but I can promise you’ll be excited to make your own mind up about it!) Stay TUNED on Instagram in the next day or two for a big reveal!

Costco Lava Pots

What would a Favorites list be without a carb or sugar-loaded indulgence?
USELESS is what.
But friends, look what Costco has back in stock —

Our family discovered these a couple of years ago and very quickly collected a teetering stack of new ramekins … and diabetes.
Kidding. (About the diabetes; we actually do have a teetering stack of Lava Pot ramekins from the past two years, which is both a blessing and a curse.)

These are seasonal, so get yer booty to Costco and stock up (they go fast). I think the cost is like $11 for four of them, which isn’t super cheap, but I mean you do get a “free” ramekin with each lava cake, so it’s basically like the cake part is free.

Summer: The Return

After a few weeks of unseasonably frigid weather and about 10″ of snow in early October, summer was like “Hold up, bitches, I got more to say” and returned with six days of temps in the upper 60s and 70s here in Minneapolis.

It couldn’t have picked a better week.

However, I’d already said a tearful goodbye to my beloved bicycle a few weeks ago when the snow hit, and we’d both already gone through most of the stages of grief. Today we’re going on a little bittersweet gift of a field trip where we’ll once again enjoy each other’s company for one final, glorious day before having to be cruelly separated for the next six months.

Long story short, I gotta ride, friends.

Have a lovely weekend, be kind to yourself, wrap yourself in cozy clothes, eat all the lava pots you want, watch a Christmas movie with a happy ending, and don’t forget to inhale … and exhale.

*Oh, and these fun, colorful, uplifiting cards like the one above and the one way up at the top? They’re from the wonderful Vicky Barone, and I got 25 assorted inspirational little cards for FREE. She’s given away over 100K Kindness cards! Get yours — and a lot of other cute stocking stuffers! — at www.vickybarone.com! Huge Favorite!

The post Using My Space (A rant and some Favorites to distract you right now) appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

You guys, last week it was in the 80s and the forecast this week is in the 50s and 60s.
As in, the highs.
You know what that means, right?

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Do I enjoy cool days and cold nights, bonfires, cozy sweatshirts, fleecy blankets, and pumpkin spice everything?
Of course I do, I’m female.
But since summer is my favorite time of year here, I feel like I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

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But it’s okay because I’ve lived here long enough to know that if I don’t like the weather, I just need to blink (unless it is anytime between November and March when no matter how hard or how many times I blink, it’s still like death outside). I mean, it could very well be 80° again in a couple of weeks and we’ll all shave our legs, bust back out the Rosé, and grill up some corn on the cob like it’s still August.

I’ve been stockpiling several favorites over the past few weeks while I’ve been busy writing other things (and by writing other things I don’t mean napping, I actually mean writing other things, which surprises me more than anyone) and I’m excited to share them with you, so grab something to take notes with and let’s go.

A Place I’m Glad I Never Went In The 80s

Last week we watched Class Action Park, the new documentary on HBO Max about Action Park, a killer water park in NJ that was popular in the late 70s and 80s.
No really, it killed and severely injured a lot of people.

It’s shocking, horrifying, and as someone who was definitely not a daredevil but who totally loved water slides as a kid (and still does), I’d probably have wanted to go if I’d lived nearby but then gotten there and peed myself … before dying.

If you have HBO Max it’s worth the hour and a half, if anything, just to hear about what it was that the people who tested the looped slide often lost when they flipped around that others who followed got their flesh ripped up with.
(Spoiler: It was their teeth.)

If you or someone you knew went there as a kid, please let me know.
And also, congrats for not dying.

What I’m Reading (and Loving)

Friends and Strangers by J. Courtney Sullivan
(click image for synopsis)

I read the sample of this book a month or two ago when it was released, and although I really liked it, I set it aside for one reason or another. I’ve liked the other books I’ve read by Sullivan, and that, coupled with the fact that this book was chosen as July’s “Read With Jenna” pick on The Today Show, prompted me to go ahead and buy it.

I’m not quite finished with it yet, but I’m loving it. I really like the characters, who are all flawed, something I find refreshing. After all, everyone has parts of their personality or past that aren’t agreeable &/or does things we might question, and I appreciate how this book isn’t afraid to tackle that.

The plot is keeping me guessing, too. What might seem like a story about an unlikely friendship (several unlikely friendships, in fact) actually contains several thoughtful plot threads on class, marriage, family structure, and society. I love that it’s unpredictable. I honestly have no idea where it’s going.

10/10 recommend!
(Here’s a great review.)

A New Podcast I’m Loving

It had me at Bateman.
No really, you guys, he’s been on my shortlist for decades.
I’ve loved him since Little House on The Prairie and Silver Spoons, and, much like Rob Lowe has done, Bateman has only continued to give me reason after reason to be enamored with him with his hilarious, brilliant work over the past few decades.

Throw in his longtime friends Sean Hayes (one of the funniest people on the planet, IMO) and Will Arnett, and I’M INTERESTED.

The premise of the podcast seems typical — they interview a guest — but on Smartless one of the three surprises the other two with the guest, so they’re literally just asking off-the-cuff questions and having more of an unscripted conversation than others with a similar format.

I’ve just listened to a few episodes (it premiered at the end of July with a fun and fabulous interview with Dax Shepard) but I’m already hooked and subscribed. Their sarcastic and wise-ass banter is hilarious, and the questions and conversations are authentic and interesting. I’m excited for more.

Listen to the Melissa McCarthy interview and tell me she’s not your dream BFF, BTW … along with the three of them.

Coscto Finds!

These almonds have been a huge favorite of mine for a few years, but they only carry them seasonally. And guess what? They’re baaack. I almost hugged the shopper next to me when I spotted them, but you know, I didn’t because we stay away from people now.

Dusted with cocoa and a fine, salty “sugar,” these dark chocolate almonds are ridiculously addicting. Pair with a glass of red wine and your head will explode. But it will be totally worth it.
Pro tip: Fill little jars with them and tie with a cute bow for holiday gifts!

This is a new Costco find for me, but I already know I’ll need to go back sooner than usual for more of this delicious queso.

My girls also love queso, and now that they’re home we’ll definitely be going through this quickly. I love to mix a tablespoon or two of it with black beans and rice and make tiny Tostitos Scoops nachos for lunch, and I’m thinking I’ll drizzle it over tacos or enchiladas for dinner. My girls just shovel it in with chips. However you eat it, you can’t go wrong.

Sandwich of My Dreams

Too bold of a statement?
Not if you tried this sandwich.

If you follow YMFT on Instagram — and if you do not, you’re missing out on some QUALITY CONTENT, let me tell you — you might remember seeing this sandwich I made for lunch in my stories the other day.

It’s not fancy, by any means.
But as a simple bag of Cheetos proves to me time and time (and time) again, you don’t need to be fancy to be delicious.

Here’s my highly complicated recipe:

Spray veggies of your choice with a little bit of olive oil (I used my favorites — red and orange peppers, red onion, and zucchini), dust with sea salt and pepper, and roast on a baking sheet for about 5-6 minutes.

Butter bread (I used sourdough) and layer veggies between two slices of cheese (I used Havarti, king of the grilled cheese).

Grill until golden brown.

What I’m Watching that You’ve Probably Already Watched

Don’t you hate it when you totally miss the boat on a show that takes the nation by storm, wins all the awards, and causes you severe FOMO without the FO?

But don’t you love it when that show is on a streaming service so you can binge episode after episode while everyone else who’s already watched it is left sitting there like a kid after they’ve opened their big gift on Christmas morning, knowing you still have yours to open?

That’s me right now (the kid who hasn’t opened the present yet, in case you are confused, which I am after reading that back).

The point is, I’m watching Breaking Bad for the first time, you guys, and surprise, surprise, it’s really, really good. (Have you heard of it??) I actually am surprised how much I’ve gotten sucked into this pretty horrible story.

I’m only about 2/3 of the way through season 2 (so no spoilers, please) because I only watch a couple of episodes once or twice every few weeks. Truth be told, I haven’t watched much TV at all for the past few months because here in Minnesota it doesn’t get dark until between 9:30 and 10:00 in the summer so we’ve been outside almost every single night until late, and I never watch shows in the daytime because I’m — you guessed it — outside.
Hey, when you only have about a five-month window to be outside all year, you take it.

Who knows? If this turn in the weather continues on the downward path it’s on, I might just motor through the rest of the series by October.

Okay, that’s gonna do it, my friends.
It’s 8:25 p.m. Friday night so I need to post this before I have to rename it.

Have a great weekend!

Related posts you might like:
Mid-summer book review
Friday Favorites (except for the murder)

The post Friday Favorites – (Very early) Fall Edition appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

I’m a bit dumbfounded when I see that hanging right in front of me — in prime closet location — are my winter clothes: the sweaters and cardigans I last wore in early March when the frigid temperature here in Minnesota was still predictable but life was anything but. Like the rest of my life, they’ve been stuck in the same place for almost six months.

I run my fingers over the long sleeves of my favorite robe-length cardigans, remembering how they loved going out to dinner with their best friends skinny jeans and sassy boots. Hello, old friends, I whisper. I’m sorry I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
I pull a soft wool sleeve to my cheek and close my eyes, hoping to still catch the smoky, fire-burning oven scent of my favorite restaurant, the place I most likely wore the sweater last. Instead, all I smell is dust and loneliness.

On the lower rack hang my stylish date-night jackets, the silky, lace-trimmed camisoles I wore under them that made me feel sexy, and the black leather jacket I bought and wore once to a P!NK concert that made me feel like an imposter, albeit an edgy one. They’re all hanging stock still, a museum of moments taken for granted.

I turn my attention to my warm weather clothes, still hanging on the off-season side of the closet. Usually by early May, these t-shirts and short-sleeved blouses have switched places with the sweaters, but this year they’ve been as forgotten as my early pandemic pledge to limit my wine consumption to weekends.

I spy the clothes I’d started setting aside to take on our March spring break trip only a few days before the bottom dropped out of our plans for the rest of 2020. Pulling out a cute black and white patterned jumpsuit, I remember my delight when I brought it home and crowed about its versatility.
“You can wear it with flip flops or strappy little heels,” I’d practically shouted to my husband. “And it doesn’t wrinkle! It’s the perfect vacation outfit! I’ll wear it all summer!”
I now grab the tag — still firmly attached — and tug it off, vowing to wear this magical piece of clothing this week while I sit on the couch searching for something to watch on Netflix.
Versatile, indeed.

I stop short when I see a flowered wrap dress I’d bought only days before we began quarantine. It fit perfectly, was a bit flirty, and because I don’t usually wear dresses, made me feel ultra-feminine.
“I had grand plans for you,” I tell it, pulling it out to admire the adorable cap sleeves. “Easter brunch, the theater, date nights, graduation parties … you were going places, my friend.”
I hold it up to me, wondering if it would still look as flirty after five months of Cheetos.

Leaving my closet of broken dreams, I move on to my bathroom, which at this point in the pandemic has basically turned into an orphanage. I swear I can hear my hair products and styling tools crying when I open the cabinet.
“Pick us!” they holler, as I bypass them to grab the dry shampoo for the fifth day in a row.
“No, seriously, you need us,” they beg. “We’ll give you hours of silky volume and curls that last all day!”
Their pleas are tempting, but I don’t have the energy to listen.

Ignoring them, I scrape my gummy hair into a messy ponytail — the 2020 version of the “Rachel” — and open my makeup drawer to stare at the colorful array of pots and tubes that have been neglected for months, having only been applied hastily 15 minutes before the occasional Zoom call. The lip-glosses, especially, are now basically rendered useless. I try to open one, but it’s turned to glue; the cap stuck on tight.

I don’t even pause at the tangle of necklaces, earrings, and beaded bracelets that have been entombed in my jewelry box for months. There’s only so much I can take.

Sighing, I return to the closet and grab one of my comfy sweater robes. The weather is already starting to turn chilly again here, so I’m happy that it’s hanging right in front of me.
Besides, it actually looks pretty cute with pajama pants.

Like this post? It would mean the world to me if you’d share it! Thank you!
Other posts you might like:
Life Lately
Stuck In My Story
Craving Order in The Disorder

The post The Closet Of Broken Dreams appeared first on You're My Favorite Today.

I’ll admit, however, that not all the books I’ve started I’ve actually read through to the end. For one reason or another, I’ve stopped mid-way through. Perhaps the characters or the plot grew a bit tiresome, maybe I just discovered a new release I was impatient to begin; whatever the reason, some of the stories I’d started — and enjoyed — are now paused indefinitely.

I feel like my own real life is a bit like those half-read books on my nightstand or Kindle right now. My story, which was trucking along nicely in February, has come to a halt, and I’m not sure when it will get to pick back up.

Living our own new adventure stories

A year ago my nest was newly empty and I was embarking on a new phase in my life, and while I definitely accepted and appreciated the good in these changes, I was nervous. Okay, fine. I was a wreck. I couldn’t imagine how my life — my story — would look going forward. The sadness at my girls being in completely different states was all-consuming, and I wondered how (if?) I’d ever be able to get used to this new chapter in life. But I did, very quickly, in fact.

From the moment we returned from dropping our daughter off at college in Connecticut I hit the ground running. And by running I mean flying. With one daughter still interning at Disney World, no real schedule to uphold, and a season pass burning a hole in my Loungefly backpack, I made four trips to WDW from late September to early January. Throw in a few trips to visit the college girl in Connecticut, a visit with family in Arizona, and a tag-along with my husband on a business trip to Florida, and from late 2019 to early 2020 I racked up some serious frequent flyer miles. 

Quite surprisingly, this new chapter in my life that I’d been so anxious to begin was turning out to be an exciting and enjoyable one. I was finding both excitement and fulfillment from the new direction this site was taking and was working hard to put some new writing plans in action. My girls were both chasing dreams and figuring out life as independent adults, and while I certainly missed the parts of my family’s story that were over, I was starting to come to terms with the fact that everyone’s plotlines were moving along just as they should be. I was excited to see what was ahead for all of us.

And then in March, all of our stories turned into one of those infuriating “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. “Want to go back to 2013 when you all four lived under one roof? Turn to page 132. And then stay there indefinitely.”

We’ve been bookmarked

For over five months, we’ve all been stuck under the same roof and stuck in our stories. Besides feeling like they’ve been interrupted, it sometimes feels like they’ve flipped back a few chapters as well.

My husband and I have resumed the full-time parenting roles we’d so recently graduated from. I’m back in “mom mode,” trying to plan dinners everyone will eat, hyper-aware of my daughters’ daily moods, and nagging at everyone to PICK UP THEIR DAMN CRAP. While we adore our girls and love having our family back together, I’ll admit, my husband and I are missing the excitement of our new empty nest adventure, the anticipation of some fun travel plans we had, and the unexpected new groove we’d found as a couple.

Personally, I feel like I’ve lost my ambition. I seldom have an interest in putting words on paper anymore, and the effort it takes when I do is tremendous. I feel like I’m spinning wheels lately, writing-wise.

My Zoologist daughter is paused indefinitely in her previously forward-moving career path. (It’s a tough time to be an aspiring marine mammal trainer.) Not surprisingly, zoos and aquariums aren’t hiring right now, and it’s anyone’s guess as to when they will be once again. Back in her messy childhood bedroom, she’s missing out on living the life of a young adult (where no one complained about her messes).

Our college daughter, who’s majoring in musical theatre, is losing her sophomore year on campus: dancing and acting with others, taking voice lessons in person, and performing on stage in front of a live audience, not to mention all of the other fun, outrageous college experiences with friends that she deserves. While her wings may still have been a little bit damp when COVID hit, she had just begun to trust that they’d hold her up as she flew, and she was excited to keep flying.

And for all of us? We’re losing newfound independence, freedoms, and, especially for my husband and me, some privacy we’d grown to appreciate. Let’s just say nap time isn’t nearly as much fun now that the nest is once again full and leave it at that.

Rethinking our plot points

It’s easy to get fixated on what this indefinite pause is keeping us from, isn’t it? (And listen, I know my bookmarks are ridiculously minor compared to other people’s, that needs to go without saying … although I’m saying it.)

Recently, I started to rethink things (lord knows I have enough time on my hands for introspection.) Instead of wondering when our stories will pick back up, what if I started appreciating what we’re going through as being an integral part of them? Instead of biding time right now, bookmarks in place, wishing like hell I could flip forward a few chapters to get back to the action (actually, nevermind, after the past few months I don’t think I want to know what comes next), maybe I need to slow my roll and accept that this interruption is every bit as integral to my story.

Instead of treating it like a bookmark, maybe this weird, confusing time right now needs to be written in.

Because here’s the thing: we can’t know that our own personal stories will even pick back up where they left off when this mess is over, so waiting for them to is a waste of time, something we now know the value of more than ever.

And maybe the direction things go will even surprise us. Just last week my older daughter got a full-time job in a veterinary clinic, working with cats and dogs instead of sea lions and dolphins, a path she’d never even considered before March. Will it change her story? Who knows? But it’s definitely an interesting plot twist, which I think we can all agree is something that all great stories should include.

Related posts:

Life in the Bubble
Dos and Don’ts of Surviving Quarantine With Your YA Children

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