You're not alone

Love After Sex: Relationships by the Stars

2009-01-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

By Janet Boyer "JanetBoyer.com" (Pennsylvania)

"Now I assume that you and your lover have been joyfully seduced, that you are committed to each other (legally or otherwise), and that you are now ready to embark on your second great adventure: living together!" - From the book

Based on Sun-sign astrology, Love After Sex shows readers the areas of greatest compatibility and potential challenges for all twelve signs of the Zodiac. You'll find out why it's a very bad idea to (attempt to) lie to a Scorpio, give Aries complete control of the checkbook, or say to a Cancer "Sure, now you're going to act like a big baby and refuse to talk. What's going to happen next? Are you going to get sick and call Mommy?"

Taking you past the bedroom and into the mind and heart of your mate, astrologer Olivia provides insightful and useful information for uncovering the essence of what you can do, be, and become together as a couple. Here are but a few of the tidbits you'll find in the 254-page book Love After Sex:

* Why the impulsive Aries is a mover and shaker devoted to image
* What's behind the lethal silent treatment imposed by a Taurus
* Why Geminis crave variety and freedom-and often avoid talking about feelings
* What's under the crab shell of Cancer, including courage and fear of financial collapse
* Why flattery will get you everywhere when it comes to Leo
* Why Virgos can be worrywarts and nitpickers
* Why Librans think in terms of "we" and what's behind the charming people-pleaser tendency
* What's behind Scorpio's intensity and why they're known as both The Wounded Healer and The Phoenix
* Why Sagittarius tends to avoid "friends in need" and what's behind an oft-condescending attitude
* Why Capricorn has difficulty relaxing and what's behind the chronic pessimism
* Why visionary Aquarians bust patterns and act unpredictably
* How dependence factors in Piscean relationships and why they often find the "real" world cold and harsh

In addition to giving you the inside track on each sign, Love After Sex also provides keywords for the Good, Bad, and Ugly, instructive role-playing scenarios, delineation of mature versus immature character traits, and more. Olivia also explains real-life situations, especially in terms of how the other signs would likely react in the same scenario.

Every Zodiac sign is divided into three parts; each sign spans thirty days, and each day is one degree. Therefore, the decanates each represent ten degrees. This explains why three people born under the same sign can be radically different. While the first decanates spans the first ten days of the sign, the other two decanates are sub-ruled by different planets, which result in varying expressions of the same sign. Love After Sex gives an overview of each of the three decanates for each sign, giving readers additional insight.

As if all this isn't comprehensive enough, Olivia also gives an overview of all twelve Moon Signs and what this means for a relationship. Extensive Moon Sign Charts are found in the Appendix if you want to look it up manually, but online chart generators such as those found at Astro.com will calculate it free.

For a comprehensive profile of your mate, I suggest reading the information correlating with his/her Moon and Rising sign in addition to the Sun sign. I found my Sun sign profile (Scorpio) to be surprisingly incisive, but the information on Aquarius (my Moon sign) was even more telling, in my opinion. Coupled with the Moon Sign information at the back of the book and reading up on my Rising Sign (Aries) provided a pretty darn good analysis into my motivations, preferences, and tendencies. I read up on the Sun signs of my mother (Taurus) and father (Cancer) and they were startling accurate. However, my husband (who is a fellow Scorpio Sun and Aquarius Moon) doesn't fit the profile (as usual). Even his decanates and Rising Sign (Cancer) were inaccurate. Nevertheless, he's an anomaly that no author has ever pegged. In fact, I often joke that his birth certificate is a forgery!

Although, I didn't find the decanates to be very accurate in terms of my husband or myself, the rest of the information provided in Love After Sex is incredibly accurate and perceptive. If you'd like to know how sex, money and power dynamics play out in a relationship based on Sun sign, this book supplies you with what you need to know for understanding, nurturing, and encouraging your mate.

Another review By xmas snow (los angeles)
Really accurate!

"...This is a great book. brutal but honest. definitely knows what they are talking about!..."

Love After Sex: Relationships by the Stars

Communication of a couple

2009-01-05T01:11:00.000-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
What is the most important aspect of relationships. Is it the same hobbies, the same religion, or the same prefession? What make us can keeping good relationship. Honesty, getting along or never fighting? Is it the important aspects?

For me, the first thing what we must aware is a communication of each other, tell what you feel, talk frankly what the matters. With respect each other everything will be all right, and healthy relationship is not something odd in our life.

What I write above are what happen to myself with my wife. Almost everyday after office and before going bed or when get dinner we talk everything happen at my office or hers, talk about our children’s need, about household, society, neighbor, whatever which bad or good things we talk about. Off course some distraction can happen when I’m tired there is something I don’t agree, my anger flare up. But there is something good on me is after the anger is stop, I forget it and everything goes on as nothing happen at all. My wife knows that, so when I’m in a big angry she always keep silent. After everything is ok we talk again.

What I always told to my wife is we both have bad and good character, nothing perfect. So, when I was angry please remember my good things, so do you. If you see the bad things only our fighting will never stop till we divorce.

Off course what we should not forget is honesty. How best our communication but no honesty inside communication is useless. Our life is not a politic stage. With talking and honesty I think everything happen will go right.

Any other opinions? You can write down on a comment below. Cheers…

Image Source: Dreamstime

Attracking love into our life

2009-01-04T20:53:00.001-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
Can do we live without love? The answer is off course “can” but there must be something wrong there. If I ask you another question. Can a tree live without water? The answer is “can”. But have you ever seen a dried tree, without leaves, live but no leaves only a few leaves on the sticks.

I think the example above is just the same with human who live without love.

Now, exactly there are some people could not know how to attract love into their life. Sometimes, very difficult for them to express their feeling, their character, their desire to people.

I think the basic problem is not how to express but how open your mind to people. We don’t have to express what we feel. Just do what we think good, what we think useful to others. Don’t be a closed person. I think it’s the law of relationship in society. The law of having love. The more we open, the more they will close to you. Off course the open thinking what I mean is not talking something bad. Not make a bad gossip about someone. People don’t like that, right? So, be open personality is the good way.

Another good way is having positive outlook. Sometimes is not easy to be a person like this. Always have a positive thinking to anybody. But as long as I know from “expert” in some book or from magazine it’s the best way in relationship. Not just in social relationship but also in business relationship that a positive thinking has a power. A power to do everything without feeling afraid, without feeling doubtful. And the result is our capability will better and maximum.

Last but not least. Before we get, we give first. From our religion say the same. Give first, we’ll get more. I think it’s a promise from God. And people also aware it. If somebody give something you like, you‘ll think you’ll give back even more. In my religion, if you give one, you’ll get ten times. How lucky, isn’t it?

I hope what I write above could be useful especially for me. What I write doesn’t mean I’m better in relationship it’s just what I feel and from some friends told me.

Image Source: Dreamstime

Love...

2009-01-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

By Mochamad Ismail
Love. Do we really need love? What happen when somebody never been loved? Is he/she getting crazy? I don't know the answer. But we can guess with a fact in life if seeing people like that "no love". If we see in a movie, usually people never been loved are crazy and sick. No mercy, don't have sympathy to help, care, or to share to other about life and togetherness.

Let's say if we educate children with no love, when they grow up they will live in lonely, feel hardness of heart, never care and share. They think life is themself.

Hitler, could be an example of somebody with no love in life. When a woman and the only love him he will do anything to get it (based on the story).

I love my wife, my children, my parents , my family... I love people, kindly people. Can I love bad people like corruptor, thief, drunker, or gambler? I'm not sure I can. It's naturally, right? So we just love good people, as good as our family we know each other. What about if our family do something bad and in prisoned. Do you still love them?

The true love come from the deep inside of our heart. When my children do something bad off course I still love him and will do anything to help him to avoid from bad things. I will hug him with love to aware him that life is too precious to fullfil with bad behaviour.

So, love depends on with whom we related. It's from the most people. I'm sure there are people never care about relationship. What they think is the honesty, the truth, the law, the regulation... He/she can love everybody from any nations and any level of society. Can get along with everybody over the world no matter the behaviour. He/she just give loves!

Image Source: Dreamstime

Is your wife or husband a soul mate

2009-01-03T07:55:00.000-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
According to Wikipedia, Soulmate is someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity , love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.

What about our wife or husband? The answer is from the deep inside of our heart. The experiences as long as living together in facing problem, sharing what we feel and think, work together to achieve aspiration, and everything happen in life. More over if we have children. Our tasks are getting complicated till they get married.

But how about love and happiness if life is just facing problem to problem.

For me, love and happiness is the soul of life, the soul of facing problems. If husband and wife are always together in everything, love and happiness is its inside. No matter how big the problems, love and hapiness will follow.

Is a soul mate a fate? For me, yes it is. It's from God. We can not avoid what God has given to us. God khows what we don't know. So let's face life with faith and believe in God.

One world

2008-12-15T13:56:00.000-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
Are we in one world? But what world? If I feel alone how could it said one world? One world means there is no feel alone. Among the crowd you are alone. is it? But, I can not fight the fact in this day. Anywhere you go now, to shopping mall, bus station, airport you will see people alone. They live in their alone world.

I live in the country with kindly people they say. But, if I don't tell what happen with me today, starving or sick. If I don't go to asking help. Who cares!

We're suffer from emphaty. We're suffer of love. Individualistic, hedonistic and materialistic are dominant in the world today. Is it right? If we're down and poor who cares but if we're rich everybody will care. They're curious what I do that make me rich.

Is it one world?

Feel down?

2008-12-11T06:44:00.000-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
Have you got experience when you feel down and nobody cares? It feels hurt, you know! I have no idea what the matters come from. The real matter or just feeling. sometimes we don't need the answer, right? What we need is somebody want to listen what we feel inside. Tell everything we feel, and he/she just listen. not more.

It's been a common that when we success on something lets say our job is successful and get reward. It's like the ants and sugar, everybody will get to close with you. I don't know exactly is it right or no? I just tell from my experience and friend's telling.

So, what we have to do finally is be your own self of everything. Never ask ready or not. It's like swimming. Don't jump to the river if you can not swim. Because on the water you can not count on anybody to survive. They them self don't want to sink, right? Just that's it the solution.

Last but not least. I don't want to think it's a cruel world. Not at all! There are stil wonderful lifes outside there I can find. Find it!!!

More money more happiness. Is it right?

2008-12-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
In any era, everybody wishfully has more money, even much more, and more. Try to get it by any efforts. Sometimes we forget that we should care healthy, family, children, social neighbor, and the most important that is we forgot about the essence of the effort itself.

Is money the goal?

If we've already had much money. We have fulfilled our need, family need, children need, and everything we need. Everything we wish we can make it true.

Do you think a happiness will be together forever...?

What do we feel if we don't have money? Do you think we can survive from the reality in life that children need money to go to school, family need money for food, for recreation and any other need for a house keeping. Aren't we happy with this? off course not! Do we feel sad, angry of just keep calm? Experience is the answer.

Sometimes we don't realize. We don't care! As long as it can earn more money just do it. Well, I know there are many people think that money can make a happiness. By having much money, we're not worried in life.

I'm precisely worried with money I have. If my natural desirability is very strong and I can't control it. My life will be broken up. The contrary, if I can control my natural desirability, and use my money for something good, such as helping people, helping social foundation or children education. The happiness will be mine.

So, happiness is not from Money, but for what money you use. For good or bad things. And what you feel inside is the answer, isn't it?

But,... what about the thief or robber. What they do is something like a profession. They think it's a job. Are they happy?

If I got mistakes, you can give me some comment below...

Source image: Dreamstime

Happiness is not a goal

2008-12-05T20:37:00.000-08:00

By: Mochamad Ismail
Love can be a power which strongest than everything in the world. Love to family, to friend, to people, to country, to nation, to nature, etc. And above all love to God is a greatest power of human being in life. Love to god is a mother of loves.
Love to family I think is a second layer after loving to god. And it is what I’m talking about.

Love to family can be a big engine to motivate us to work hard, to do everything we can to achieve success. And a success of course is having much money. By money we can fulfill family’s need , wife’s need, children’s need. And the main thing is a happiness. Is it everybody’s goal?
For me happiness is not coming money from how much we have. Money is just a tool, just a vehicle to achieve a goal. Happiness is not the goal. So, what the goals?
Have you ever thought what we do when we have no money? What about our wife, our children? Do you think they can not be happy because of no money? Maybe my answer is how could they are happy with no money. Is it possible in living today we can be happy with no money?

The answer is possible! Very possible!
Happiness is not a goal in life. Happiness is only the effect of our heart, the effect of our mind. Sometimes when somebody wants a happiness what he get is not a happiness but the opposite. I don’t want a happiness as my wish. Is it peculiar?
No, I think it’s not peculiar. It’s precisely a plausibility.
Our duty in life is just doing good things. We work for earning a living to fulfill our duty as a family leader. Give something good or money to poor people, to a fatherless foundation, to mosque, to neighborhood. Doing something like a volunteer work in our neighborhood area.

What we get by doing this? The absolutely answer is Happiness. Besides happiness also a satisfaction that we already do something valuable in life. It’s happy things, right?
Do you agree with this?...

Image Source: Dreamstime/Free images

Broken relationship

2008-07-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

By Mochamad Ismail
There is something doesn’t make sense about relationships at my neighborhood. Since the first time I stayed there about 1 year ago everything seems look wonderful. Every Saturday night we gather and hold a free program to strengthen our relationships. Day by day gone, until the last time I realize there is something wrong last days.

The matters is nothing reasonable but I can feel it. The matters is started when one of us suggested to build a gate in the front yard of our living area. I wasn’t at home when the meeting held so I didn’t involved with the decision. As I know not all of us gathered in the meeting just a half members, even less than a half. But the decision was determined. After some days, apparently not all of us agreed with the decision. I understand why. It’s not because of they don’t like but the money is the matters.

For each person must collect the money about 200 thousand rupiahs. It’s too expensive for us. Moreover each of the family still have leasing to the bank and there is still other works like security, roads, water pipeline, etc we have to do. So the gate is not urgent to build anymore. And finally the gate’s plan was cancelled. Friends who agreed and not agreed just keep silent. No more discussion. But since that time, there is something what I feel not the same as before. Our relationships now is not nice....

Image Source: Dreamstime/Free images

People’s character in relationships

2008-06-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

By Mochamad Ismail
The social relationship especially what I felt in my social living has changed. The materialistic orientation and individualistic characters become the most characters and…I think it can be a culture unconsciously. Sometimes I thought why it is happened to people around me, Indonesian. Whereas Indonesia is the country where its people are so hospitable and friendly, has the faith of religion. It’s the very thing what the world recognizes about Indonesian.

Is it because of global technology which the culture of one country can influence another? What I mean a culture of one country not definitely suitable to another. A culture of American people is not suitable with a culture of Indonesian, isn’t it?

What about the religion they believed. We believed. I believed. Characters obviously could be stronger than a faith of religion. Smartness, cleverness, richness, could change the role of religion. Why? Never let the character is above of the religion. Never let the richness, the smartness, the cleverness are above the religion. Never! The Religion must control the character.

Who indeed make us successful in career? In business? Who? The answer is our inner heart.

You know what, I’m not the man who always tell my matters to people even to my close friends. But it’s not only mine but people’s matters. I don’t want to bring something sad or something bad to to you. At least better I just go away to find something fresh like going to movie and come back when my feeling and my mind is refresh.

I don’t have any friend in other country to share about this matter. If talking about cultures. What I thought is any places on earth just have the same matters with relationship. It is universal matters of human being. Is it right?

In the deep of my heart, I still hope there must be a change that one day we can keep good relationships with love along with religion loyalty. No matters status, no matters rich or poor, no matters the folks, no matters the nations. I hope…

Let's share about love and relationship

2008-06-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

By Mochamad Ismail
Hallo world...! Through this blog I'd like to tell and share about the experiences of mine or yours or from people about relationship or love.

What make me think that we can share whereas we are from different nation, different culture?

People around the world are united in one universal matters, universal life that is love and relationship. Nobody doesn't need love and relationship except the crazy one. Remember the movie "Hannibal"? The devil man who can kill people and eat them. He doesn't need love and relationship. Although in the main character is a Doctor, but for the love and relationship he is nothing. Is it happened in a real world? No, no, no don't let it happen...

I never think something bad to people around me. What for? It just make me feel alone, feel arogan. I just think that I' m as a part of neighborhood, part of love and relationship among us. So if there is somebody thinks different, very exclusive in my neighbor, keep distance in relating each other some times make me resenful. What a damn thing in his/her head? What is the advantages being like that?

So, through this blog I would like to share and communicate about my or your experience in love and relationship. Because I'm sure the only way to be free from the problem is by sharing to people we trust, people we know closely. But sometime we also need a book to write our problem. So consider this blog as your book or friend to share.

Let's join the place where we belong to.