Here is where some might say I was being stubborn – but honestly I was trying to make a lifestyle change, not just lose weight fast.  I started counting calories – trying to stay close to 1,200.  I even gave up my Cherry Coke – which I have to tell you was the supreme sacrifice for me.  But I didn’t make serious dietary changes, because I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t maintain living on rabbit food.  I exercised a lot of portion control – which was pretty eye-opening to see how much more food I ate than I should have.  I’m happy to say that over the course of 2 yrs – I lost 24 pounds and really got my body in better shape.  I was not bikini material, but I felt I could look ok in my clothes again.  More importantly, I felt good – and that’s a really big deal.

Then, we moved to another state.  I knew it was a great move for the family, but it left me feeling a little lost.  I don’t deal with change well and I don’t make new friends easily – so I was floundering like a fish out of water for a while.  I joined a gym when we got here and I was ok.  I wasn’t using it as avidly as I did before the move probably because I was in a “blue funk” for a while, but I maintained my weight and conditioning for a while.

Jack will probably take exception to the correlation I’m about to make.  When the economy nosedived, and we felt his job may be in jeopardy, we tighten our belt straps and canceled the gym among other things.  I told myself I could do it on my own – I know the core exercises to do, I’ve got DVDs, even my son’s Wii.  To make a long story short, I’m almost back where I was when I hit the gym in the first place 5 years ago.  I haven’t gained all the weight back – about 15 pounds – but not working out regularly has made me lose the muscle tone that I worked so hard to get.

I’ve had kick starts – where I talk myself into re-starting my exercise routine.  They haven’t lasted longer than a week or so.  I know I need a regiment.  I need to know that someone is waiting for me – a trainer, a buddy, someone to prevent myself from talking myself out of getting off my lazy butt and working out.  I hate admitting to myself that I am no longer strong enough to do this on my own.  I admit that I need help to exercise.  I need a catalyst to get me moving and make progress.

I saw a Curves commercial and had  a little glimmer of interest.  I haven’t had that in a while.  I know Jack doesn’t want me to join a gym again – I don’t even have to ask the question to know the answer.

How do you motivate yourself to get moving?  Do you do it on your own?  I could really use some suggestions – because I don’t like how being like this makes me feel.  This feeling encompasses so much of my overall mood.  Please feel free to leave me a comment – even if you feel the need to give me the proverbial “SNAP OUT OF IT”

Until just a few hundred years ago all our ancestors lived the same. They ate when there was food and looked for it when there was none. Like chipmunks, our bodies have a natural tendency to store excess fat when times are good in preparation for when food is scarce. Our instinct is to eat what we see, when we see it.

In today’s world we see and have access to unprecedented amounts of food. We should not be surprised that excessive weight is a national concern.

If weight loss comes only with the aid of trainers and gym memberships, then comes back when we return to our normal routine, it is a red-flag that trainers and gyms are not solving our problem, they are only covering it.

Hiring a trainer or joining a gym might be the catalyst that gets you started, and if that is what it takes, maybe, just maybe, it is worth the cost.

However, it is important that we realize such a move is only one step towards maintaining a healthy weight. A trainer alone is not a sustainable solution to weight management.

Even with a trainer, any weight loss is destined to be temporary if you continue to consume more calories than you burn.

Your weight is a never ending cycle of burning and consuming calories. It is a function of the difference between how many calories and fat are consumed and how much is burned or eliminated.

The only true and sustainable approach to weight management is by finding a proper balance of this equation. Diets and sporadic exercise routines won’t outlast this cycle.

If you consume 5,000 calories each day yet burn 6,000 in back to back sessions at the gym you will lose weight. And if you happen to be a world-class body builder then this might be appropriate for you.

If you are not a pro-wrestler you can avoid the trainers, exercise moderately at home, but reduce your calorie count to 1,200 each day and you will also lose weight.

So can a trainer help us? Sure, but what is the point? Unless you are committed to your goal,  unless we are willing to change our eating habits while away from a trainer, unless we are willing to exercise at every opportunity not just at three-o’clock, three days a week, any loss is only a temporary loss.

Only when we finally make the choice to change not our weight but our lifestyle, will we. When you change your lifestyle is when you will successfully change and maintain your weight.

If you can come this far, is a trainer necessary? If we are controlling our diet, eating the right portions of healthy foods and getting moderate exercise, outside help should not be necessary.

Every morning on the way to the work or school we all see men and women stretching in preparation for their bike, run or walk along a local nature path. These folks are committed, healthy and don’t require a service that comes with a monthly fee, and neither do you.

Wanna go for a walk?

Jack and I differ greatly when it comes to decision-making.  He has the enviable ability to make a decision based solely on the merits – and does a terrific job of keeping his emotions out of the process.  When it’s me with whom he’s disagreeing – I absolutely hate his non-emotional decision-making.  But on more occasions than not, I appreciate his business-like approach.  I let my feelings impact my decisions – and feelings make it messy for me.

Jack is a dominate personality – not domineering, but confident and sure.  I am more of a non-confrontational, “don’t rock the boat” type.  I’m not implying that I let Jack run over me – but over the years, I’ve come to realize that I often simply “adopt” his opinion.  Usually a less severe – more middle of the road  version of how Jack feels.  But the fact remains that I wonder if I’m becoming a “mini-me” of Jack.

I brought this up to him a few weeks ago.  I mentioned in passing, that I see me doing more adjusting than him.  His comment was something to the effect that it was about time I  realize the error of my ways.  I laughed at the time – but I wondered later if this is fair.  Maybe fair isn’t the right term, but I question whether I should always be the one changing/adjusting.  I can’t always be the one who is wrong, can I?  Don’t misunderstand me – we don’t disagree about everything.  But when we do, it’s definitely a 75/25 split on how often I am the one “adjusting”.

We’ve been married for almost 14 years.  They say that a man and his pet start to look similar – does the same apply to spouses?  I  know I don’t always have a clear answer – but I don’t want to become a mini-Jack.

She shares concerns over becoming a mini-me (that’s an ugly thought!) yet what I most often see is her standing by her guns!

Jill is more apt to talk about and mull over the details until she is forced to make a choice, but the choice is hers. When it comes to decision making, yeah, OK so I am more apt to come to a conclusion and move on. The drawback is that sometimes my decisions turn out to be pre-mature and would have benefited by slowing down long enough to get further information.

Do I get my way? Certainly! Sometimes. 75/25? I think not! I would like to see the accounting on this one.

There are lots of issues where my position fails to prevail. Kids activities, cell phones, money, college, investing, housekeeping, work, where we live, how we spend time, cable TV, my continuing career and family politics are just a few examples of where Jill not only failed to “adjust” to my point of view but remains sticking to her guns.

Frankly it was Jill’s strength that in part attracted me to her to begin with. It is her stubbornness that in part keeps me interested in Jill.

A mini-me is the last thing this world needs and the last thing I want. A mini-me would be boring not to mention a great way to destroy a beautiful face!

As I see it, relationships are give and take. If you are truly always doing things against your will or want, if you take on the political views and lifestyle of your partner because they demand or force it upon you, it is bad. Bad for you and your health and even bad for your other half.

If you have changed your view or opinion as a result of what you have learned or experienced with another, you have grown as a person. “Adapting” is not bad as long as you are the one making the choice to adapt.

And btw Jill, no, you are not always wrong…. just mostly (hehehe)