Christian Marriage

7 ways to deal with discrimination in the work place

2010-01-14T04:03:00.000-08:00

7 ways to deal with discrimination in the work place

5 ways to age gracefully

2010-01-13T00:45:00.000-08:00

preparing for wedding

2008-08-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

Wedding is a thing of joy and excitement. But the joy can be marred unless it is properly planned. Nothing of importance is ever done or achieved without a plan.

“Every well built house”, says S.N. Bremer, “started in the form of a definite purpose plus a definite plan in the nature of a set of blueprints”. Quoting from a writer he adds, “imagine what would happen if one tried to build a house by the haphazard method, without plans. Workmen would be in each others way, building materials would be pile all over the lot before the foundation was completed, and everybody on the job would have a different notion as to how the house ought to be built”.

The importance of counting cost of planning before adventuring is thought by our Lord in Luke 14:25-32. Here Jesus teaches that whoever desires to follow Him and be His disciple should first decide whether he or she is prepared to pay the cost. This is a very wise instruction that should apply to every aspect of one’s endeavour including wedding. Perhaps the following questions will help you plan for your wedding.

How many people are you expecting in the wedding? Is attendance going to be straightly by invitation or open to whoever wills? This is a key question. It will determine how much you will make available for your wedding entertainment.

Some young people have ignorantly invited 1000 persons, to their wedding but made provision for not half of that number. This type of attitude usually bring embarrassment not only the couple but to the invitees. Perhaps this was the case in Cana of Galilee (John2:1-11). The couple must have invited many quests than they prepared or planned for them. Among the Jews a marriage feast sometimes lasts for a week. It will therefore be shameful for wedding entertainment to finish in the middle of the week.

How about the wedding invitation? How many copies you will print also depend on the number of persons you intend to invite to the wedding. Conserve fund. Do not print 1000 copies when you need one five hundred. The same goes to programmes. I have attended a wedding where service and reception programmes were printed 10 times more than those who attended. This is a big waste. You need this money for other things.
Your invitation should be sent out very early. One month before the wedding day should be okay. Do not forget to put your contact address in the card for regrets and other responses. Many precious wedding gifts are lost in transit because some young people do not take this into consideration.

Of what significant is your wedding cake? Cake is a mixture of flour, eggs, milk, sugar etc baked as in a loaf and often covered with icing. However, wedding cakes are not just ordinary cakes. The way a cake is patterned speaks volume. I have often heard intending ladies discussed on the patter of their wedding cakes.
A good caterer will always advise you on cake pattern and the various colours you need for its decoration depending on your desire.

How about the wedding gown? This is where many young people often make mistake. I have had to cover my face in some wedding because of indecent dressing. The wedding gown should be made to represent the righteousness of the saints. Isaiah t1:10 says “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorned herself with her jewels”.

What we put on in the wedding day may not be very costly but should be a reflection of our relationship with God. It should reflect the glory of god in us. For a bride to come to the altar with most sensitive parts of her body exposed will not project her relationship with Christ. Do not forget that men look in the outward appearance, though God looks inwardly. Therefore your finger nails etc must be properly taken care of before you match to the altar. Your dressing often reveals your personality, taste and class. As a writer simply puts it, “if a man is well dressed, he is well regarded. And if he is badly dressed he stand out like a sole thumb”.

As the king and the queen of your wedding day do not appear unkempt before your quest. Dress very moderately but neat and tidy. Your “ladies in waiting” will always be in good position to advise you if they are Christians. Remember that it does not cost much amount of money to dress neatly in the wedding. God will help us in this area for us to have a successful wedding.

Help one another

2008-08-11T09:36:00.001-07:00

A woman starts from morning and works till night. She expects her husband to praise her for her hard work. She keeps the home tidy. Her hands are always on her sewing machine. She will do this; she will do the other in order to keep domestic things in shape.

But her darling doesn’t seem to appreciate. You wonder why. She has omitted the weightier matters of her husband. If she listens very well she may hear him saying, “Darling leave those things for now and let us go to bed, okay” Or, “Lovest thou me more than these?”

In marriage, God wants a man and his wife to be true companion not “bed fellows” Golanty and Harris say that companionship may be the most important reason for marriage. Companionship leads to security and stability and meets some of our deepest needs. Marriage, as the Bible makes us to understand, is a means of having regular companionship. Ecc. 4:9-11 says.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
For sharing, we all need someone to share ourselves, our problem, our success, our failures, our dreams and fears with. Experiences are more meaningful when they are shared with others. If these form the purpose of your relationship, you are already enjoying your marriage.

what turns women on

2008-08-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

Your spouse was sick and you quickly suggested that you take her to a clinic. You thought that your quick intervention by suggesting that you take her to the clinic would project you as an action man, a loving husband. But instead of achieving that you saw her very angry with you.

You have missed her love language. Perhaps she desired a “Touch”. Do you know that there is healing in touching. The incident in the ministry of Jesus teaches lesson on this.

And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, if I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; they faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour (Matt. 9:20-22).

Going to the clinic may be okay but your spouse’s love language at this particular time is, Touch. Your touch may bring all the healing that your wife needs and save you the money you will give to a doctor.

You travel out every time. Each time you come home you buy her some gifts. But she does not seem to appreciate. You wonder why. Perhaps she is looking for quality time for togetherness. Make time for her. Do not make her a widow while you are alive. This is not to say that gifts are not okay. But to some wives, what is the gift without the man? It is not good that the man should be alone. The woman too!

Submission in marriage

2008-08-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

We must submit our selves as husbands and wives. The world of God says wives submit to your husband as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Saviour of the Church (Eph. 5:22-25). And so wives must submit completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ.

Submission is an act of accepting another power or authority. It could sometimes be called obedience or humility. Submission is expected to be mutual between husband and wife.

God commands the wife to obey her husband, and even in unpleasant circumstance. He rewards obedience with a usefulness and happiness for beyond her deepest expectations. However, husbands too should remember that God expects both partners to submit to each other.

Coordinate your family for daily devotions and prayers.
Domestic Affairs: Help each other especially if the other partner is weak.
Money and Finance: Be ready to support each other at all times no matter how little your contribution might be, it will help the marriage.

1Tim 6:10 says (For the love of money is a source of all kinds of evil. Some have been so eager to have it that they have wandered away from the faith and have broken their hearts with many sorrows.

Whatever the husband earned belong to the wife, likewise what the wife has belonged to the husband. This is because both of you are one flesh. Whatever God has joined together money should not separate. In marriage there should be total submission to one another and this should include all our possessions as a couple. The wife should encourage and support the husband in times of pressure and financial hardship. Wives you must encourage your husband, because his success is a measure of your success. “Behind every successful man, there is a woman”.

Marriage and love relationship

2008-08-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

You must have the sincere love which is the Agape kind of love that God has to his children. Eph 5:25 says (Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. Forbearing one another and forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you. Also do it in love.

Christian love is not physical attraction, lust, personal desire, sympathy or compassion for the other, it is also not sex. Love is powerful and with positive thought to one another. Appreciate one another and do not allow it to be very far from your mouth, no matter how little that thing is, show appreciation to each other with happiness.

Demonstration of Love: You must always show each other your love by saying “I love you” darling, honey, sweet hearts, dear etc. This should come genuinely from your heart. Smile with each other always even when there is money or not, there should be that positive confession to each other that it is well. If your partner is short and you are tall, love him/her and treat him as very special to you.

Giving of gift to one another, lean to buy gift to each other not only during Christmas or birthday, but also regularly as a surprise.

Learn to spend time together; occasionally go to a special place; the beach, good restaurant or take an out –of-town holiday to make your wife happy. Remember she is the bone of your bone.

Honour your wife: Make her your queen and surprise her occasionally, (1pet. 3:7 says In the same way your husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are weaker than you. Treat them with respect because they also will receive together with you, God’s gift o life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.

Husband: learn to help your wife no matter how busy you are it will help your marriage and make the woman to be happy with you always. But women do not take undue advantage so that your husband will also be ready to help. While she is busy with other things nothing stops you from sweeping the house, watching cloths, cooking etc. Remember you are doing it for one another it may not always be the woman.

Wife: The wife was created as a help meet for the man Gen. 2:18 says (It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him. So you must support your husband as much as possible.

You must encourage him. Yours husband success is a measure of your success. “Behind every successful man, there is a woman. You must encourage and support your husband in times of pressure and financial hardship. This could call for self-denial and sacrifice.

Tolerance in marriage

2008-08-04T01:30:00.000-07:00

Impatience: Lean to be patience with your partner. This is very important. I will try to elaborate this. Especially when both of you are still in courtship waiting for the wedding day. Assuming your husband or wife to be keeps an appointment at 2pm and he fails to turn up at that particular time due to one thing or the other. You must know how to handle the situation and not full with anger on your face to the point of not even saying welcome, what kept you for so long and what have you. If you grow angry and decide you are not going again, remember he is studying your character.

Misunderstanding: Try as much as possible to understand each other. This will help your marriage to last. If your partner is the type that likes playing with friends as a jovial person, try to understand him. So that if you see him or her standing in front of another man or woman you don’t say, what does he take me for always talking with this or that person? Try and understand each other.

Unforgiving Spirit: You must learn to say sorry to each other no matter your position. Do not allow Satan to rule your heart by whispering to you she was the one or he was the one that offended me so he must first apologies. Act maturely as born again Christian. Do not keep malice with one another as children of God, so that your prayers will be answered.

Disagreement: Do not always be the one to say I do not buy the idea or I do not want it this way. You always come into agreement, as two cannot work together unless there is an agreement.

Pride: Do not say your salary is too low for my standard, how dear you talk to me like that or am more beautiful or handsome than you. Or you say don’t you see my position in my company? Your sincere love to each other should cover all.
Sexual sin: When the man continues seeing your nakedness he will be tired of the marriage and the urge for the wedding will not longer be there. The next thing you hear is that sister, sorry I am not longer interested. So be very wise before you get your self into a serious broken relationship, remember if you spoil your marriage you will never be a happy person.

Parental Objection: You must allow God to rule your heart for you to convince your parents that this man or woman is the will of God for you and I tell you they will not object your marriage and they will support your wedding.

Prayer-lessness : Be very prayerful during the time of your courtship and do not be weak as God will be revealing things to you that will make your marriage work. All because of seen and the unseen forces. May be the brother or the sister have been eying another brother or sister you intended to get married to and finally they hear that you are both going to marry each other. You will need serious prayers to stop every attack of Satan in your marriage. John 10:10 says (The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life in all its fullness.

Be convince about the marriage: If you have promise a brother or a sister to wait for each other, do not abandon the brother or sister and travel abroad while she is waiting for your return and you come back and say I am no longer interested.
Do not allow Satan to bring strange men or women your way to disappoint each other. It is better to say, I will not marry you than for you to allow him or her to wait for you and you come back and say negative words. It is very dangerous. Courtship is mean for the understanding of each other. There should be that complete openness and sincerity in love couple with tolerance, patience, agreement and faith in the word of God.

Chossing a life partner

2008-08-01T03:56:00.000-07:00

This is the usually question to which most single want a practical answer to.
Prayer: You must be very prayerful and allow God to do it

Seek: Seeking demands time, energy, wisdom, it calls for carefulness, diligent, earnest and persistent. Look in the church, ie where you fellowship or beyond, attending Christian fellowship, conferences, and all Christian programs as a child of God and allow God to lead you. It might not necessary be where you fellowship. As you attend this programmes God will direct you to the right partner.

Wait and allow God to speak to you the moment you have found your choice. Do not jump into conclusion; go back into your closet to pray specific prayers on the brother or sister. Be very prayerful and listen to the voice of God. You must hear a voice, if you pray sincerely. Prov. 20:27 says (The Lord gave us mind and conscience; we cannot hide from ourselves.

Dreams: Not a correct hear or having lust in your mind. That genuine dream comes after prayers and asking God to prove to you through it, so He can show you. Note you are responsible for your decision. After establishing God’s perfect counsel for a relationship. You must subject yourself to the intending counsel for a relationship and there should not be disappointment to one another if God is leading both of you. Faith and agreement are necessary. Have a strong faith regarding the intended marriage, believing God to lead you till the end.

Conviction means: To have that inner satisfaction towards one another, conviction and love are fundamental, so be fully persuaded in your mind and not doubt in your heart. God will restore peace to your heart when you accept His will.

There should be a strong belief for each other, not entertaining any doubt or fear.
Rests assure that God is with you both and He will perfect your marriage with blessings that follows. Approach to one another; do not hurry the brother or the sister to decide fast. Give time to each other to plan and give a good response.

You must confirm the revelation with one another for you to be sure that God is leading both of you. Do not delays the brothers answer allow God to direct you. Some will say let me finish school or let me do this or that at least for two three years. This can lead to sin. Act maturely as God’s children.

Pray and act. Allow God to choose for you. Total submission to God is a prerequisite to receiving God’s perfect choice in marriage for your life. Let God have the final say in the choice of your marriage and you will have peace till death do you part.

Meaning of Marriage

2008-07-31T11:24:00.000-07:00

Marriage is the formal union of a man and a woman, by which they become husband and wife(That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one. The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not ashamed.

Prov. 18:22 says (Find a wife and you find a good thing; it shows that the Lord is good to you). Gen: 2:18 says (Then the Lord God said, “it is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him).

A marriage partner is someone that you live the rest of your life with. You would have to cope with his/her strengths and weaknesses till death do you part.
It is a life-time choice that must not be made without reason.

It should be approached with careful consideration, thorough planning and prevailing prayers. All a definite assurance of God’s leading must be established in one’s choice of a life partner. You have to pray earnestly so that you will have your peace of mind about the brother or the sister you have chosen.