Patrick W. Lawler, Youth Villages CEO

Committed families – biological or adoptive – are often the only thing that can help heal children who have experienced repeated rejection, trauma and pain. Their unconditional love can change a child’s life forever. I have seen it happen over and over with children whose emotional and behavioral troubles improve with treatment but whose lives truly change only through the gift of family.

They are children like Nathan, who at the age of 9 caught up with me on a visit to one of our Memphis, Tenn., residential campuses. Nathan had a single question for me: “Will you find me a family? I need a  mom and dad.” The children we help are rarely that open about what they wish for, but I know Nathan speaks for virtually all of the children in this world who are waiting to be adopted.

Taking away the chance of adoption by American families condemns thousands of Russian orphans to lives in orphanages, without the hope of family. To top it off, Putin also is denying the adoption finalization of nearly 50 children who are already in the process of adoption now.  I cannot imagine the heartbreak these children and families are going through. To these children, stopping their adoptions means another abandonment, more broken promises and deeper psychological wounds. For their potential parents, their hopes and dreams of family are shattered.

Playing politics with the lives of orphaned children and parents hoping to start or grow their families is cold and misguided. Putin says he wants Russian families to step up and adopt more orphans. And they should! This is so important, because even with international adoptions many Russian children won’t find homes. There simply haven’t been enough domestic adoptions in Russia in the past to give hope for these children. Sadly, the situation is somewhat similar in the United States.

There are thousands of children like Nathan waiting to be adopted right now right here in America’s child welfare systems.  They are boys and girls of all ethnicities, backgrounds and ages. Some of them are given up at birth. Others, like Nathan, come into foster care after years of abuse or neglect, the death of a loved one who cared for them, a parent’s mental health problems, drug abuse or other family problems. Some come in sibling groups, others on their own. All of them want exactly what Nathan wanted: to have the chance to grow up with a loving family.

In the United States, adoption from foster care is mostly free, with many children also qualifying for ongoing subsidies to help adoptive parents care for the child financially.

The younger children are, the better their chance of being adopted quickly – here and in foreign countries. But, we’re also finding that teenagers and older children can have their dream of a permanent family come true.  We have children adopted just days before their 18^th birthday. After all, the need for family doesn’t end at some arbitrary age. Young people need someone to walk them down the aisle, come home to every Thanksgiving and Christmas, and be grandparents to their children later on. Family ties should last forever.

Having a loving family like Nathan does today is so powerful. At Youth Villages, we’ve helped more than 5,000 young people who have aged out of foster care without family through our transitional living program. We know that just having family support makes it more likely that Nathan will grow up to be a successful, independent adult. Young people who don’t have that need intensive help after age 18.

I believe there are few things more important than helping give children in Russia, the United States and anywhere else the chance to grow up in a loving family. No child of any country deserves to ever be used as a pawn in international politics and have their chance for family, for childhood and adult happiness denied.

Patrick Lawler is CEO of Youth Villages, a national child services nonprofit that helps emotionally and behaviorally troubled children and their families through its Evidentiary Family Restoration™ approach.

Happy Holidays from Youth Villages! Thank you for supporting our work as The Force for Families.

When things were hardest, when Danzell wasn’t coming home, when he was breaking all the rules, a D.C. police officer suggested that his mom, Tonja Johnson, just give up.

“Put him in state custody,” the officer said.

In first grade, Danzell had been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity and oppositional defiant disorders. At 14, he was out of control, and his mother and her partner were struggling to cope. Both have physical challenges; she is blind, and he has limited sight.

Instead of turning to an out-of-home placement, Danzell and his family were able to participate in the Youth Villages Multisystemic Therapy Program in D.C. The program provides intensive therapy to the child and family in the home at least three times a week, while working in all the systems that might be a part of a child’s problems: school, peer group, community. Danzell’s specialist, Kelly Hanks, was on call 24/7 in case of family emergency – and there were some.

“Danzell was threatening me and Keith, running away, getting suspended from school, stealing,” Johnson said. “I really didn’t think this program would work. None of the other programs had helped me.”

Worst, he was embarrassed by his mother’s disability and disrespectful to her.

Hanks focused on empowering Danzell’s parents, giving them support. “We worked on safety plans and supervision, first,” the specialist said. She helped the family improve their interactions and connected Danzell with prosocial community resources, like the Boys and Girls Club.

“She let us know that it was OK to take control, to set rules and consequences,” Smith said. “Kelly helped us realize that Danzell’s still a kid, and we’re the parents.”

The family intervention specialist went with Johnson to Danzell’s school and got everyone involved in his life on board, pulling in the same direction.

“I told them if they would change, Danzell would change,” Hanks said. “And that’s what happened.”

By the end of last school year, Danzell was doing well, particularly in math. He’s maintained a job this summer and is ready to start a new school year with a new attitude.

“Youth Villages helped us to change the household and the family and now Danzell is doing 100 percent better,” his mother says. “We have good communication and the trust is building. My family couldn’t have done it without the Youth Villages MST program.”

This Mother’s Day, I have a lot to be thankful for. It’s the first Mother’s Day that I am sober and truly enjoying being a mom. But it was a long, hard road to get here.

Life has always been kind of hard for me. Once I became a mom, it got even harder. Taking pills helped. At first, it just helped take the edge off. Over the years, pills became my way of handling everything.

My boyfriend was drinking heavily. At some point, my teenage daughter had enough. Looking for help for our family, she called the Department of Children and Youth Services. They took my daughter and her sister away.

Losing my kids was the hardest. I felt I had failed as a mother and that I failed myself. Worst of all, I had failed my kids.

Still, I couldn’t quit – even after I overdosed. Every day was a struggle.

When I gave birth to my baby, my sixth child, I still couldn’t kick the habit. Then my boyfriend went to jail. I felt like I had nothing more to live for. There was only one thing that could help me, even if it killed me: more pills.

Three months into my new baby’s life, I overdosed again. I shouldn’t be here today, but a wonderful EMT brought me back and saved my life.

The state took my baby and sent me to rehab. I had reached an absolute low point, but my brush with death changed something in me. I found a will to live again and to change my life. I knew I needed help, and I wanted that help. I wanted to get my life on track.

I made a promise to myself I would never use again. I committed to treatment and completed it. It felt great being sober.

Four months into my sobriety, the state gave me my kids back. It was the most wonderful feeling to have them back. But I was also terrified. I had never been a sober mother.

That’s why I asked the state for extra help. They sent me an angel to help me and my family.

Becky, a Youth Villages family intervention specialist, came to my home three times a week for intensive family therapy. She asked me what my goals were for me and my family, and then we got to work. I was ready and excited. This was my chance to become the mom I wanted to be.

Youth Villages’ intensive in-home program helped me learn new parenting skills. We made behavior contracts with my kids and set clear expectations for behaviors, along with rewards and consequences all the kids agreed to.

The behavior contracts are taped to our refrigerator, so everyone always knows what’s expected.

The hardest thing was working on communication skills. I was never able to communicate with my kids the way I knew we should.

My teenage daughter and I used to get into arguments that ended in screaming matches and drained our energy. Becky taught us to avoid pushing each other’s buttons and to talk to each other calmly.

Learning to communicate with each other made the biggest difference for me and my teen daughter. We can talk to each other now when something is bothering us, and we have gained each other’s respect and trust. I get all choked up thinking about it.

But the greatest compliment is when I hear my daughter brag about me as a parent. It’s the ultimate reward. Things are so different now. So good. We’re no longer stressed out being a family.

It feels awesome to have my family back, and I am so thankful I can be the mother my children need and deserve.

God kept me alive to be there for my kids but also to share my story with other moms and dads who are struggling with addiction, feelings of hopelessness and failure. There is hope. I’m living proof that parents can make changes and get their lives on track when they get the help they truly need. You can too.

This Mother’s Day I want to express my gratitude to all those people who helped me and my family make it. You gave us the greatest gift. Thank you!

Thanks to the fantastic efforts from supporters like you, Youth Villages finished in first place in all five of our eligible states in Starbucks’ Vote. Give. Grow. program! As a result of those first-place finishes in Arkansas, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oregon and Tennessee, the Starbucks Foundation will give a total of $145,000 to Youth Villages.

Starbucks is donating a total of $4 million to selected nonprofits around the country. We were honored just to be selected for this program and ecstatic to have achieved our goal of the maximum amount possible for us to receive.



Thank you so much for your continued support of our work with children and families. With your help, we are transforming kids’ lives and strengthening families whose stories seemed hopeless. 



Once again, you’ve stepped up to help Youth Villages become the Force for Families.


Parents generally teach their children about “stranger danger” from an early age on, instilling in them not to talk to, walk with or take candy from strangers. But statistics show danger often lurks closer to home than anyone would like to imagine. According to numbers provided by the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, the vast majority of children who are sexually abused are abused by someone they know – most often a family member, an adult the family trusts or, in some instances, another child.

As a parent you can help protect your child from sexual abuse by talking to your child about it, starting at a young age.


“It’s essential that parents have a conversation with their children about sexual abuse,” said Kay Knaff, clinical services program manager for Youth Villages, a private nonprofit organization that helps children with emotional, behavioral and mental health issues, as well as children who have been abused or neglected. “This may seem hard to do, but it’s the best way to protect your child. It’s best to start talking to your children about child abuse as early as age 3 or 4.”

Parents should talk to their children about inappropriate touching and other forms of child abuse, and make sure their children know what behavior is right and what is wrong. In addition, Knaff said parents should teach children to say “no” to their abuser if they can, try to get away from the abuser and/or call for help so other people become aware of the situation.

“Child abuse data show that the majority of children keep abuse a secret,” Knaff said. “That means it is even more important that parents not only talk to their children about what child abuse is and emphasize that it is never the child’s fault. Abuse is always wrong, and children should report it to a trusted adult. Parents need to keep the lines of communication open and seek out their children whenever they feel like something is going on with their child or their child is behaving differently in some way from usual.”


To encourage children to report any abuse, parents should let the child know about two or three people designated as safe adults the child can talk to if he or she suffers abuse or feels unsafe. 


“Children need to know who they can talk to,” Knaff said. “They also need to be encouraged to tell what happened to them to more than one person and keep telling until someone believes them and does something about it.”

Knaff also recommends parents specifically teach their children to report any touching that feels uncomfortable or wrong, even if it is by a family member, teacher, coach, church official, youth group leader or another child.

How to talk to your child about sexual abuse:


• Tell your child about good touch – a hug or a pat on the back – and bad touch – when someone is touching your private areas.

• Tell your child nobody – no family member, teacher, other child or adult – is allowed to touch him or her in the areas covered by a bathing suit because these are private areas. Exceptions are a parent bathing a young child or helping the child with using the bathroom, as well as a doctor or nurse when examining the child at a doctor’s office or healthcare facility.

• Tell your child he or she has permission to tell any adult who touches them in their private areas, “No!”
• Tell your child that if anyone ever touches him or her in any way in their private areas, he or she 
should tell mom, dad and or grandma/grandpa or another trusted person about it immediately.

Other forms of child sexual abuse are exposure to sexual acts or sexually explicit materials not intended for minors, as well as indecent exposure. Children should be encouraged to talk to the designated safe adults any time they feel unsafe.



Get help immediately

If you suspect your child has been abused, act immediately. Either call your local police department, your local rape crisis center, Child Protective Services or the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), then push 1 to talk to a hotline counselor.

“The best thing you can do for a child who has been abused is to get the child professional help right away,” Knaff said.

Watch this video to learn how you can help Youth Villages get a donation of up to $145,000 from Starbucks in April.

Youth Villages has been invited to participate in the Starbucks Community Card: Vote.Give.Grow. program in recognition of our effectiveness in helping families live successfully.

Based on the number of votes we receive, Starbucks will donate up to $145,000 to our programs!

Our reputation got us this far, now we need your help.

Here’s how it works in a nutshell:

1. If you already have a Starbucks account with a registered card, skip to Step 4.
2. Get a Starbucks card. Any type of Starbucks card will work. Use a gift card you’ve received or pick up a card at a Starbucks or other stores where gift cards are sold.
3. Go to Starbucks.com, create a free account and register your card.
4. Go to VoteGiveGrow.com and sign in using your Starbucks.com account information.
5. Vote for Youth Villages and share that vote on Facebook and Twitter!

FAQs

Does this cost anything?

If you already have a registered card, then participating in this contest should not cost you any additional money. If you do pick up a card at a retail location or purchase a code online, you will have to load a minimum of $5 on the card in order to register it.

Is a “Community Card” different from a “Gift Card”?

Any activated Starbucks card will do. You make it a Community Card by signing in at http://www.votegivegrow.com.

I don’t see Youth Villages as a voting choice!

If you live in Arkansas, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oregon or Tennessee, Youth Villages will be one of four voting choices displayed automatically. If you live in another state, use the search box to find Youth Villages in another state and vote there.

I don’t live in Arkansas, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oregon or Tennessee. What state should I vote for?

Feel free to vote for us any of those five states. You will need to click the “Change region” link to do so. You’ll also need to provide a ZIP code. Here are the ZIP codes to vote in a state other than your own: Arkansas (72401), North Carolina (28217), New Hampshire (03104), Oregon (97034) and Tennessee (38133).

Why are we a choice in only those five states?

Starbucks started out with 1,700 nominated non-profits. Based on input from their employees in each state, the number was narrowed down to 350 and 124 were chosen as finalists. Youth Villages finished as finalists in those five states.

How many times can I vote?

You’ll be able to vote once each week during April.

How does Youth Villages get the full amount of $145,000?

The voting is based on states and each of the four selected non-profits in that state will win a share of the total prize based on its share of votes in that state. We were selected to compete in five states: Arkansas, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oregon and Tennessee. First-place finishes in all five would equal a $145,000 donation. Obviously, that’s our goal but it’s not a winner-take-all situation. Each vote really counts so let’s strive to do the best we can in each state.

I lost my Starbucks password.

This program belongs to Starbucks. If you’ve lost your Starbucks information, you’ll need to work through that site’s password retrieval system.

The meeting with Melody Barnes, director of Pres. Obama’s Domestic Policy Council, focused on the recently passed Child and Family Services Improvement and Innovation Act. Other White House roundtable participants included Jonathan Greenblatt, new director of the White House Office of Social Innovation and Civic Participation, Racquel Russell, special assistant to the president for mobility and opportunity, and John Carson, office of public engagement.

The law is one of the only big bipartisan initiatives passed by the Congress so far this year. It expands the Title IV-E waiver program to allow more states to use federal foster care funds to develop or provide innovative prevention or reunification services that help children avoid foster care entirely, reunite with family members more quickly or find new families through adoption.

Roundtable participants discussed the use of evidence- and research-based practices and stressed the importance of measuring outcomes to determine effective programs to be implemented on a large scale.

Across the country more than 425,000 children are growing up in state foster care systems. Youth Villages, one of the largest providers of services to children with emotional and behavioral problems in the country, offers an innovative intensive in-home program that has been used effectively by states to preserve families or to help foster children reunite with relatives.

Youth Villages provides the program through IV-E waivers in Florida.

“One of the children we helped in Florida was 14 years old and had been in foster care since he was a toddler,” Lawler said. “He lost his entire childhood to foster care. But we were able to use intensive in-home services to support him through a successful adoption placement. This act will mean that more foster children across the country will receive the help they need to grow up in families – not foster or group care.”

Joining Lawler at the meeting were Anita Light with American Public Human Services Association; Sheri Steisel, National Conference of State Legislatures; Bruce Lesley, First Focus; Suzanne Ayer, Child Welfare League of America; Michael Petit, Every Child Matters; and Rutledge Hutson, Center for Law and Social Policy.

Mersediez (center) and her mother, Michelle (left), have reconnected with the assistance of Tiffany Ross (right), a Youth Villages staff member in our Jackson, Miss., office. With the enactment of the Child and Family Services Improvement and Innovation Act, more families will be have access to in-home programs such as the ones Youth Villages provides.

Last month, President Obama signed legislation that could make a big difference for the children and families who need our help.

In part because of two years of advocacy by Youth Villages, Congress passed, and the President signed, the Child and Family Services Improvement and Innovation Act. The law reauthorizes waivers allowing states to use federal dollars for more than just foster care or residential services.

Because of this legislation, Youth Villages’ intensive in-home services can now be considered by our states for wider implementation in their child welfare systems. Some states may be able to use it for the first time. It gives the most effective child welfare programs, like ours, a secure funding stream.

Why is this important for Youth Villages?

In 1994 we changed the way we did everything at Youth Villages. Up until then, we believed the best way to help troubled children was to remove them from their often chaotic families and help them in residential treatment. Some children stayed with us for many years, raised by our counselors.

We found that many children couldn’t go home because there had been no change in their families — in the home, school and community environment. Those who did go home often failed. Although they were successful in our structured residential setting, they reverted to their previous behaviors at home. Nothing had changed there. They came back to us or went to other residential programs, psychiatric hospitals or jail.

We discovered that the best way to bring long-term success to children was to help their families. We established our intensive in-home services programs, brought counselors directly into the home, made them available 24/7. We did whatever it took to support parents and help them take responsibility for their children. We helped them develop the structure, safety and supervision practices needed. We taught them about their child’s emotional and behavioral problems and how best to manage them. Instead of treating parents as the problem, we saw them as the solution. It was revolutionary in 1994.

We found that this approach, what we call Evidentiary Family Restoration, works. To prove it to skeptics — and there were lots of them — we began tracking every child we helped at six, 12, and 24 months after they completed our program. We found that our success rates were double those of traditional services, and that the program cost a fraction of the amount paid for foster care, residential treatment or children’s psychiatric hospitals.

We began talking to officials in our home state of Tennessee and in other states, showing them our growing data base on our intensive in-home programs, urging them to do what works best for children: provide intensive research- and evidence-based help to their families.

As our data grew, we could tell state leaders that Youth Villages had helped thousands of children with serious emotional and behavioral problems and their families. We could say that our success rates were more than 80 percent, that our program was twice as effective as traditional services at one-third to one-quarter the cost.

But it was still hard to get states to implement our program on a broad basis.

Why?

The most common reason was a lack of funding. About 60 percent of the funding states use for their child welfare systems comes from the federal government through Title IV-E of the Social Security Act. That funding came with strings attached: It could be used primarily for buying a bed for a child in foster care or residential services. Services like our in-home program had to be paid for by the few state dollars available or from much smaller pots of federal funding. In most states, there simply weren’t enough dollars to fund programs like ours adequately – to provide the intense work it takes to strengthen a family and prevent a child from entering foster care or to reunite families separated for lengthy periods.

Youth Villages was among the advocates for IV-E waivers, for allowing states to use federal funds flexibly to develop innovative services that would reform their child welfare systems, help children find permanency quickly, reunite children who had been in foster care many years with their families. Congress had given permission for states to apply for IV-E waivers, allowing them to use the federal dollars in innovative ways, but waiver legislation had expired.

The Child and Family Services Improvement and Innovation Act will give us the opportunity to help more children and families. Youth Villages’ intensive in-home services can now be considered by states for wider implementation in their child welfare systems. Some states may be able to use it for the first time. It gives the most effective child welfare programs, like ours, a secure funding stream for the first time.

Many states across the country are trying to bring reform to their child welfare systems. This law opens up new possibilities for them. There are more than 3.5 million children in child welfare systems across the country, 425,000 in foster care. Youth Villages believes that as many as half of them could go home if the right intensive help could be provided to their families.

This new law makes that help possible for more children in more states.