YOUthwork University

Parenting Help

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 02 May 2011 11:25:00 +0000

Parents:

Here are two great resources that will probably become a daily habit for some of you. They are both from the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (www.cpyu.org):

1. Walt Mueller’s Blog:

http://learningmylines.blogspot.com/

2. Parenting articles:

http://www.cpyu.org/Page.aspx?id=76948

Social Networking Deviance

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 17:27:00 +0000

I don't think half of you should read the following list. But if you're having issues of trust with your kids over their social networking; if you're finding abbreviations in their texting and Facebook stuff, you might want to check it out. Be forewarned. It's a bit rough. It's also a sad commentary on reality.

http://www.netlingo.com/top50/acronyms-for-parents.php

Is Dating Dead?

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 01:52:00 +0000

It just keeps coming. The decline of dating and what, if anything, is replacing it. Check out USA Today’s front page from a while back:

http://www.dailycomet.com/article/20110331/wire/110339901?p=all&tc=pgall

There is a lot to digest, including some seemingly contradictory facts. More hookups? More virgins? Huh?

The decline of dating, coupled (no pun intended) with the rise in social networking has most of us scrambling to keep up. The key is to understand how gender is eroding and what kind of risks to help our kids take. If you search under ‘dating’ in our backlog, you’ll get plenty to chew on.

'Occupation' Talks with our Kids

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:18:00 +0000

Here is a good discussion starter for you and your high school student. The younger ones might roll their eyes, but once talking, I think you’ll pick up some momentum. I suspect that we’ll all have to work extra hard at ‘occupation’ type talks since these kinds of choices are being delayed on the adolescent scene.

THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN CHOOSING A PROFESSION

Taken from Life on the Edge, by James Dobson

1. It must be something you genuinely like to do. This choice requires you to identify your own strengths, weaknesses and interests. (Some excellent psychometric tests are available to help with

this need.)

2. It must be something you have the ability to do. You might want to be an attorney but lack the talent to do the academic work and pass the bar examination.

3. It must be something you can earn a living by doing. You might want to be an artist, but if people don’t buy your paintings, you could starve while sitting at your easel.

4. It must be something you are permitted to do. You might make a wonderful physician and could handle the training but can’t gain entrance to medical school. I went through a PhD program in graduate school with a fellow student who was washed out after seven years of class work. He made it to the last big exam before his professors told him, “You’re out.”

5. It must be something that brings cultural affirmation. In other words, most people need people need to feel some measure of respect from their contemporaries for what they do. This is one reason women have found it difficult to stay home and raise their children.

6. Most importantly for the genuine believer, it must be something that you feel God approves of. How do you determine the will of God about so personal a decision? That is a critical matter we’ll discuss presently.

Kindness and respect

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 13:12:00 +0000

Last week a student said she really enjoys one of our leaders. Why? “Because he doesn’t treat me like I’m stupid.”

We asked what she meant.

“When I don’t know something, he doesn’t look at me like there’s something wrong with me. He doesn’t skrinch his eyebrows and say, ‘you don’t know that?’ He just smiles and says, ‘Oh, OK, let me show you.’ And he’s friendly about it. I feel like I matter. He treats me like he respects me.”

It’s so easy to joke about everything, or to treat students like kids. But it’s so nice to be treated with honor. Proverbs 3:3-4 reads, “Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.”

The Time Factor

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 13:17:00 +0000

We had a student who never smiled. Ever. A barrier or an opportunity? If our goal is “a smile by the end of today’s session!” we’ll be disappointed. Most things take time. Seeds to trees, babies to adults, first pages to finished novels. A frowning student in September can be a healthier person by April. Love is patient. Dish it out liberally — and give it time.

Now we have a student who is quietly and gradually coming off the rails. Withdrawing from meaningful conversation, cooling spiritually, and making troubling choices. We’ve begun praying for him. Specific prayers for hedges around his life and the warming in his heart. He may not be a new man this Sunday, but we’re optimistic about this summer.

Keep at it.

What kind of church attracts students?

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 13:56:00 +0000

The most recent edition of Immerse, a bimonthly journal for youthworkers, features a thoughtful piece* on churches that attract and retain students. The author, Christy Lang, cites several research papers and presents findings both surprising and useful. Here’s a sample of her article:

Drawing on developmental theory, Lytch notes that adolescents have particular needs for forging identities, adopting worldviews and developing skills for living in an adult world. Given those needs, she says, particular kinds of opportunities for church involvement are especially important. She writes, “When teens are attracted to churches, they are attracted because the churches engage them in intense states of self-transcendence uniting emotional and cognitive processes. Churches ‘catch’ them on three hooks: a sense of belonging, a sense of meaning, and opportunities to develop competence.”**

Three key concepts here for youth are belonging (understanding themselves as accepted members of the community); sense of meaning (hearing faith articulated in relation to their lived experience and having opportunities to express faith); and competence (developing skills in church that relate to skills they need in the rest of life, so that church isn’t something to leave behind in childhood).

Busy youth workers don’t need to create busier calendars. Focusing on belonging, believing and competence enables youth workers to address the places where youth are most likely—and most longing—to connect to their communities of faith. As we do this, we must consider theologically what it means for church to be a place where belonging, believing and competence are done faithfully.

This type of insight doesn't lend itself to a quick new program. She’s describing a culture. Yet, culture is servant to the astute.

*Communities of Disciples: Why the Kind of Church We Are Makes a Difference, by Christy Lang, appears in the March/April 2011 issue of Immerse: A Journal of Faith, Life, and Youth Ministry

**Carol Lytch, Choosing Church: What Makes a Difference for Teens, Westminster John Knox Press, 2004

A “lordship salvation” exercise

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 13:30:00 +0000

Ever heard of the “lordship salvation” controversy? Here’s a simplified version: Some believe if you’ve prayed a prayer of salvation you are a Christian. Others believe if your life shows no sign of following Jesus Christ, you’re not a Christian.

Wherever you fall on the “lordship salvation” spectrum, here’s an exercise* to get your students thinking about their own relationship to Jesus Christ.

Pick three students to stand up front. The student on the left represents a person who is following Jesus Christ. (Use your own anecdotes to describe what that looks like.) The student on the right has zero interest in Jesus Christ. Doesn’t believe at all. The student in the middle prayed a prayer of salvation when he was eight. Now he’s seventeen and not walking with Jesus.

Step 1 — Break everyone into small groups and ask each group to decide whether the guy in the middle is a Christian or not. Don’t let them just give opinions — make them defend their positions biblically.

Step 2 — This one is more intense — weigh it carefully before taking it on. Ask everyone to line up behind one of the three students up front. Whichever one best describes where they’re at. Then say something like this: “What if the middle guy is not a true biblical category? What if there is no such thing as a ‘lukewarm’ Christian?” Then remove the middle guy and ask those lined up behind him to pick one of the other two lines.

Both of these exercises will get your group thinking about their personal faith. Just be aware that it could get messy.

* Thanks, Kevin!

A Student’s Perspective / Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 13:21:00 +0000

Our group recently did a ski retreat. While snowboarding, one of our freshmen guys got seriously hurt. He ruptured his spleen, and the doctors said it was bad — stage four out of five stages of danger. He wasn’t expected to recover without surgery, and even then, the doctors were worried. So worried they medevacked him by helicopter to the nearest big city.

We, however, had a powerful weapon. As soon as the student body learned about his condition we started praying. Not just three-second prayers, either. Groups of us clustered around the ski lodge and prayed for up to half an hour. Dedicating his safety to Christ, we prayed for our friend, pleading for his recovery and health.

The next morning, after at least half a dozen more prayer times, we heard from his mom. The doctors were stunned. Not only was he recovering at record speed, he hadn’t needed surgery and the internal bleeding was only nominally affecting him. They couldn’t figure out why he was getting better so fast.

But we knew.

The Weekend of Grace

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:48:00 +0000

There’s a stretch of I-90 that weaves through Gary, IN, like a luge. Two lanes, tight curves, concrete barriers, and changing pavement levels. Toss in some rain, darkness, and steel mill stacks blowing orange flame and you’re running an Xtreme Sporting Event.

Veteran commuters do it in their sleep. They toss their cars through those curves at 70 mph mere inches from trailer trucks, barricades, and the car in front.

But try it some morning in a four-ton Ford Excursion. Whoa! That’s like driving a blimp. Suddenly everything is all lurching and white knuckles. You somehow get through it and hopefully nobody died.

That’s what it’s like to mix outside your comfortable social circles. Throw a fifty-year-old into a cluster of freshmen and watch him sweat. Or, make a sophomore listen to a clumsy adult monolog and it’s like throwing the communication circuit breaker. All systems down.

Which is why we need grace. We’re all trying, and we all love each other. Grace is the padding that says, “It’s OK. I like that you care and I think you’re great.”

There’s a new weekend coming. Let it be the Weekend of Grace.

Praying for the World

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 23:16:00 +0000

When it comes to prayer, we often need a spark or catalyst to get us outside our ‘self-centered box’. Check out:

www.operationworld.org

A separate country is featured everyday, exposing various needs, the percentage of the population that is Christian and other unique aspects. I found it very helpful for specific prayer concerns.

Rescuing students

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 08:00:00 +0000

Picture this. You’re reading through James and you spot this verse:

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins (James 5:19-20).

Youthwork is punctuated by students wandering off. Every class, every year.

We talked with a guy last week who read this verse to his church and said, “Look — this describes an action. It talks about going and bringing somebody back. I want you to think of people who have wandered off and go get them. Bring them back. This week. Do it.”

That call to action landed a thousand people back in fellowship over the next couple weeks. A thousand people “saved from death.”

Not a bad idea for our groups.

Does Love Win?

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:36:00 +0000

Rob Bell is stirring the pot again, creating controversy and of course, selling books. His latest book, ‘Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived’, is vintage Rob. It makes you think, makes you laugh aloud and oftentimes, makes you upset.

The basic premise questions the scriptural interpretation that ‘few’ will find eternal life (and it’s opposite….many will spend eternity in hell). His point is that God will get what he wants. And what does He want? ‘He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance’ (II Peter 3:9b).

Here’s the Rob-rub. He steps outside of scriptural consensus when he opens the door to God’s patience extending beyond our time on earth. He implies, writes and questions so much that one is left without doubt. Rob is saying that one can die without Christ and still have hope that God will yet redeem his or her life.

For an ‘in your face’ YouTube interview of Rob, check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg-qgmJ7nzA

To read a thorough review by Kevin DeYoung, check out: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2011/03/14/rob-bell-love-wins-review/

To further confuse the issue, you'll note Eugene Peterson's review on Amazon:

“It isn’t easy to develop a biblical imagination that takes in the comprehensive and eternal work of Christ . . . Rob Bell goes a long way in helping us acquire just such an imagination--without a trace of soft sentimentality and without compromising an inch of evangelical conviction.” (Eugene H. Peterson, Professor Emeritus of Spiritual Theology, Regent College, and author of The Message and The Pastor )

Although Rob helps develop the imagination regarding the comprehensive love of God, he steps outside both scripture and historical interpretation to do so.

Tactical or Strategic?

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:00:00 +0000

In the early moments of the classic 1970 movie, Patton, the famous General runs into the street and shoots at a plane with his pistol. That’s because the German air force seemed to be everywhere during the 1943 war in Africa.

At one point General Patton wrote a scathing letter to the head of the U.S. Air Corps. He demanded air support for his battles. The Germans were wreaking havoc—where were the American planes?

They were cutting off Axis supply lines and shipping lanes. In other words, they were strangling the enemy from behind rather than duking it out on the front lines. Consequently, soldiers were dying in battles for lack of air cover. But because of it, the war in Africa ended more quickly.

Which is better? Tactical support or strategic intervention?

As youth leaders we should plan for both. God can raise up volunteers gifted in “here and now” things, and others equipped to see the future. As always, pray the Lord of the harvest to send you laborers.

Why Marriage?

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 21:04:00 +0000

Regardless of what school he is substitute teaching at, the kids (middle school and high school) always ask the same question. WHY?

He begins by introducing himself and then twirling his wedding band, mentioning that he’s newly married. Without fail, students respond to the wedding-ring talk with confusion: ‘Why? Why did you get married?’ The older the students, the more aggressive they get in their questioning.

Here’s a question. Why are they asking why?

Are we prepared to hear the answer? Are we aware of how little confidence is left in this great institution called ‘marriage’? Or, perhaps it’s not an issue of confidence. Maybe it’s merely an outdated concept, serving no practical purpose. Since contemporary relationships are front loaded with pleasure, who wants to hang around for the back end consequences of commitment and struggle?

Remember two things about trends: 1) Adolescent trends are always preceded by adult patterns and 2) by the time things get cemented in middle and high school, you can predict the next two decades with a fair degree of accuracy.

Continuing in the faith

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 08:00:00 +0000

Four of our guys packed off to university a couple years ago. A huge state school in the Midwest. When you send them off you hope there’s a ministry or fellowship on campus to receive and grow them in Christ.

Two of the guys showed up at church last week. Older looking, but still with that sparkle of life. It turns out they’re alive and well, and turning out film projects that point to things eternal. What a joy.

For a sample, click here.

A Student’s Perspective / More than words

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:59:00 +0000

You communicate with more than your mouth.

We’ve all heard this. The way the eyes shine, the confidence of position, the elevation of the eyebrows.

A roomful of willing students and one adult is like a bunch of dogs with their owner. Each student keeps a keen eye on the teacher, watching for any sign of disapproval that may emanate from his behavior. When pleasure is communicated, the joy is obvious through the demeanor of the teenager. When the leader’s hesitation becomes evident, the student may become silent and tentative.

As a student myself, I’ve learned to watch the adult for my cues. It’s important to me. Why? Because he influences the attitude of the rest of the group towards me, either positively or negatively.

As a youth leader, you have the opportunity to wake someone up or shut him down based on your reactions. Remember this.

Iron sharpening iron

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 14:59:00 +0000

“Christianity has nothing to do with Jesus. It was invented by Paul. Jesus never said any of that stuff.”

That’s what one of our students heard from his geology professor at college. So he asked permission to speak and read a few verses from the Gospels where Jesus claims to be God. Things he’d learned at church during high school.

We were super proud of him, of course. But also convicted. Could we do that?

Time to reread More Than a Carpenter. If Jesus and Paul could come up in a geology class, they could show up in our daily routine as well.

Tenacious prayer

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 09:00:00 +0000

We had a woman volunteer in September. She didn’t mean to, but there were five students without adult sponsors.

For months she met with those girls on Sunday mornings, talking with them, remembering their birthdays, and saying a short prayer. But not much happened. They weren’t a group. They didn’t bond.

So she prayed for them. A lot.

In February things picked up. The Winter Retreat came and some of the girls brought friends. Several met Christ, and a few doors were unlocked.

After the retreat she prayed even more. If only she could get them into the Bible. Teach them to grow. Encourage them.

The very next Sunday all the girls asked if they could come over during the week and learn about the Bible. No kidding.

Six random girls are now a group, encouraging one another to grow. Not overnight, but it didn’t take forever, either.

We have a God who responds to prayer.

Your Worst Moments

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 14:18:00 +0000

This is a straight pickup from Seth Godin’s blog. Seth is a successful entrepreneur, marketer, and bestselling author. Not sure he’s religious, but he clearly knows the heart. You can read more about Seth here.

Here’s what he had to say today:

Your worst moments are your best opportunity. That’s how we judge you and how we remember you.

You are presumed to be showing us your real self when you are on deadline, have a headache, are facing a customer service meltdown, haven’t had a good night’s sleep, are facing an ethical dilemma, are momentarily in power, are caught doing something when you thought no one else was looking, are irritable, have the opportunity to extract revenge, are losing a competition or are truly overwhelmed.

What a great opportunity to tell the story you’d like us to hear about you.

How about it? Does anything describe parenting or youthworking better than that?

Facebook

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 22:19:00 +0000

What are we going to do about Facebook?

Amazing technology, awesome tool. But when we allow kids to wield its power it’s akin to putting a bazooka in the hands of a two year old. There’s going to be a kickback.

Some parents use monitoring tools such as:

http://www.aralifestyle.com/article.aspx?UserFeedGuid=434943be-595d-45ce-a4ee-8c629bd4da07&ArticleId=3210&ComboId=20529&title=How-to-uncover-your-kids-Facebook-secrets&origin=168070-APP6

Others simply refuse any ‘social networking’ privileges without knowing all passwords. In either event, parents must monitor. We have to be involved. What is unconscionable is to adopt a tool in lieu of parenting. Or worse, to simply let it evolve.

Like most innovative technology, Facebook has ‘circumventive’ aspects to it. Kids can manipulate the system. And most of us willingly admit that our kids are more tech savvy than we are.

Bottom line? Be involved. It’s not just a nice site for 13-year-olds to practice their social skills.

Orphan Care

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 02:13:00 +0000

During a time when so much of the aid promised to Haiti is bottlenecked, a mission organization teams up with a local church on the island. Instead of building an institutional orphanage, they come up with an awesome idea. Finding husbands and wives who survived the earthquake, the local church provides a house on their property so that the intact couple can expand their family through adopting orphans.

Result?

Yes, orphans are being cared for — and the broader community is taking notes. Forty-seven people have come to faith as a result of watching and seeing God's kingdom in action.

Small groups within our student ministries are further united to the project by underwriting the educational, medical and room/board needs of children. Each week students pitch in a few dollars- money that some used to spend on specialty coffee.

And in one case, a little guy's life was spared because he received much needed medical treatment.

It's amazing to catch a sighting of God at work.

A Student’s Perspective / Influence

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 13:38:00 +0000

She’s never been very loud. Always comes, sits with joy in her eyes, and watches the happenings. She shares her feelings and is part of the group, but no one notices when she’s gone.

Then, on a winter retreat, she explains how we’ve been one of the biggest influences on her life ever, and because of us, she accepted Jesus.

We were an influence — and we didn’t even know it. Scary? I think slightly. Encouraging? I think definitely.

Singleness

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:18:00 +0000

A student I know recently started a blog on being single. It’s a worthy topic and one that we’re going to get more familiar with.

Her first entry was on Valentine’s Day or ‘singleness awareness day’ as it’s being dubbed. Given the fact that marriage is falling out of favor, like leaves on trees, I’ll pass along her link. I think you’ll find her thoughts refreshing. After all, the current trend is merely a chance to get to know God deeper.

http://thesinglenessblog.blogspot.com/

Motivation

noreply@blogger.com (YOUthwork U.) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 14:22:00 +0000

Weekend retreats are amazing. Action, trauma, fun, and focused God time — turbocharged by social chaos and zero sleep. Wow!

You can glean a hundred insights in 48 hours. Here’s one that struck me. You notice a kid who shows up, says little, smiles politely, and hangs back — but comes blasting out of the gates during one particular event. His creative energy makes it fantastic for everybody, and his team wins the blue ribbon.

Afterwards, he’s his quiet self again.

Challenge for the weeks to come: discover what motivates him and tap into it more often. Wouldn’t that bring a new twist to the group dynamics!