Yuhui's Movie Blogger

First look: Two Face from "The Dark Knight" trailer!

2008-05-05T11:38:00.001+08:00

The latest trailer for this summer's "The Dark Knight" was released this week. This followed the recently concluded viral campaign where participants got to have a sneak peek of the much anticipated trailer.

Watch and download the trailer here!

What got my attention was at the 2:03 mark. It showed Harvey Dent holding a gun. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that Dent is the good guy district attorney. Why would he be holding a gun? Unless...

Yep, that's Two Face! Okay, so the picture doesn't give much away, but you can definitely see the scars on the left side of his face. And his suit is made of another material on the left side. (His left hand is unscarred, though.) As actor Aaron Eckhart said in an interview, the scars should leave one sick to the stomach. I don't doubt that, given director Chrisopher Nolan's desire for realism in this comic book movie.

Still, there you have it: the first look at Two Face, the other Batman villain in "The Dark Knight". Yay!

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Review: "Iron Man"

2008-05-01T16:41:00.001+08:00

As the first superhero movie for the summer season of 2008, a lot of inflated expectations are riding on "Iron Man" to deliver. I myself went into the movie with mild trepidation: would the movie be able to live up to its hype like "Spider-Man" or fall flat like "Hulk"?

Fortunately, it was the former. As a summer action blockbuster, "Iron Man" was awesome! It hit all of the right notes in terms of casting, characterisation and CGI. The action certainly wasn't lacking and the humour was much appreciated.

Coming from a comics background, it was especially fun to see a comic book character translated rather faithfully to the big screen, while updating it for the contemporary audience and environment. Kind of like how "Batman Begins" succeeded in retelling that hero's origin.

As many reviewers have noted, it was Robert Downey Jr. in his role as Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man who really made this film worth every penny. He was spot-on right from the start, as the flamboyant, egotistical billionaire inventor. Like James Bond, he had intelligence, debonair style, out-of-the-world gadgetry and, of course, the uncanny ability to bed the babes. The amazing thing is that this character remained fairly consistent throughout the show, even as he experienced a change of heart due to his capture in Afghanistan.

The other tentpole of the movie was the relationship between Stark and his able assistant, Pepper Potts, played by the lovely Gwyneth Paltrow. I rarely watch her movies, "Se7en" being the last one, so it seemed like I was watching her for the first time. I was impressed by her ability to carry off a role that would basically boil the blood of any feminist. She was beautiful and gentle, but also very subservient to her employer's needs and wants. Nonetheless, the sexual tension played up between her and Downey Jr seemed very genuine and believable, which made it even more fun to watch.

Oh yeah, and it was also inspiring to see her run in high heels. That must've hurt her feet real bad!

The believability aspect was ultimately what made this show incredibly enjoyable. The actors appeared to be made for these roles. They just went about their parts as if it was second nature to them. There didn't seem to be any sign of forced performance, especially by Downey Jr. Even Jeff Bridges, who was unrecognisable with his bald head and large goatee, came across realistically as the father-figure turned jealous business partner.

Notice I haven't mentioned anything about the technological wonder of the Iron Man armour. Which is the mark of a good movie. Technology and CGI shouldn't steal the limelight unnecessarily. But when it did shine, it shone brilliantly. For the geek in me, I was more awestruck by Stark's computers than his armour, a feeling that was shared with other moviegoers. Everyone in the audience gushed at the advanced user interface that allowed him to drag diagrams and schematics from screen to screen with just a pointer, then manipulate those same artwork through virtual reality. It was indeed a geek's wet dream come alive!

Oh, and it was amusing when half of the audience applauded and cheered when Stark put on his silver-coloured Mk II armour. That really signalled the moment when people embraced Stark's rebirth as a hero. On the other hand, as a friend commented to me, it's a pity that it wasn't the "real" red-and-gold armour that people were cheering for.

Sure, critics will say that such an armour is impossible in the real world, let alone the bulky Mk I version that Stark developed in a remote cave. But the armour doesn't maketh the man. As Stark realised eventually, heroism lies within.

What I was disappointed in, though, was the ending. It was a pure deus ex machina cop-out. That's always a sign that the writers had unwittingly built the story up into something that even they couldn't grasp. As a result, the climactic battle was a tremendous let-down, despite all of the build-up and anticipation. A pity, because the movie was riding high throughout its earlier two hours.

But aside from that, "Iron Man" really is a good movie, on par with the first "Spider-Man" outing and "Batman Begins". Even for non-superhero fans, it is still an enjoyable treat. The story may be lacking, but you won't notice that much, thanks to the strong characterisations, relationships, and easy-going dialogue.

Here's one tip: if you're not water-retentive, don't drink anything before the show! In spite of its two-hour length, the movie is edited so tightly that one hour of film seems like half an hour. Which means that if you walk out at any moment, you miss a lot of the story.

Oh, and another tip: stay for the credits, especially if you're a fanboy.

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"The Dark Knight" poster and possible release date

2008-04-27T17:15:00.001+08:00

And here's another poster, this time for "The Dark knight". It was released as part of yet another viral campaign over at Why So Serious. Those Warner guys are really going all out with these viral campaigns!

Download the full, larger version! (Warning: 28MB file!)

While there's no word on the Singapore release date (at least from what I saw in the IMDb page), there's a high likelihood it could hit our shores on 17 July, together with Australia and Taiwan. Can anyone confirm this?

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"The Incredible Hulk" poster and release date

2008-04-27T16:50:00.001+08:00

Ok, I realise that I'm a little late with showing this poster for "The Incredible Hulk". Hmm, maybe a week late. (Or later?) But it's still an awesome poster. And it reminds me of the cover of The Incredible Hulk #1, with the creature hulking (pun entirely intended!) ominously behind.

Download the full, larger version!

As usual, we folks in Singapore get to see it on 12 June, one day before the U.S. release (or about two days, if you take into account the time difference). Thanks, pirates, for being so active that Hollywood studios have to bump up their release dates in the region!

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Charlton Heston is cold and dead

2008-04-06T21:50:00.001+08:00

Charlton Heston passed away today at the age of 83. Most people probably remember him as the lead actor in such epic movies as "The Ten Commandments", "Ben-Hur" and "Planet of the Apes". And indeed, he should be commended for helming these stellar roles.

But what I'll remember him for are these five words: "from my cold, dead hands". Heston first uttered those words to rebut then-Vice President Al Gore's criticism of the United States' Second Constitutional Amendment, which gives its citizens the right to bear arms. Well, okay, actually he first said them in "Planet of the Apes".

But the phrase would be forever immortalised through Heston's association with the National Rifle Association. His raised rifle was a clear sign of defiance against his anti-gun critics. He continued championing the NRA's cause as its president and spokesman, even as the U.S. slid further and further into criminal abyss.

Worse, and in an act that was lacking in sensitivity, he led NRA conventions near places that had suffered from great tragedy due to the misuse of guns. According to Michael Moore's "Bowling for Columbine", Heston proclaimed those same five words, "from my cold, dead hands", from a stage close to the scene of one of the worst acts of random local massacres in U.S. history.

I actually don't mind the existence of the NRA or of Heston being its president then. I believe that people have the right to organise themselves around causes that they strongly believe in, no matter how much I would oppose them.

However, I also believe that there is a time and place for everything. By holding NRA rallies just after gunfights that killed innocents, he was plainly thumbing his nose at those who were suffering from the loss of loved ones. And that's what I can't get over.

Charlton Heston died today. It's time to rip his rifle from his cold, dead hands.

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"My Blue Heaven"

2008-03-31T23:51:00.001+08:00

I had the privilege of being invited to a private screening of Yee Wei's latest short film, "My Blue Heaven" and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. And it wasn't just me. The film received a very positive response from the more than 100 people in the audience.

The film tells of a boy who, by trying to watch his father's pornographic videos, unwittingly causes trouble for all around him, especially his dad, wonderfully performed by veteran actor, Vincent Tee. It was so much fun seeing him and Catherine Sng, another local actress, mouth so many foul words in the span of less than 15 minutes! Melody Chen's cameo was entirely out of the norm of her usual TV characters too! The other cast members also pulled off their roles well, such that the film was enjoyable for its comic timing and improvisations alone.

The film is admittedly not meant for children, what with the free use of expletives and depiction of ineffective law enforcers. However, like the director and many in the audience, I can't understand why the censors slapped a R21 rating on it. This kind of strict censorship (apparently, only local films "enjoy" this privilege) doesn't serve the local movie making community well because it means our films are not getting the audience that they deserve. It's a strange policy, indeed.

It's heartening to see my army buddy really blossom as a filmmaker, and his achievements put me to shame. But like I told him, at least one of us is living his dream.

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"Watchmen" - first look at the live-action film characters!

2008-03-08T02:29:00.001+08:00

Okay, I'm psyched. After seeing these photos of the "Watchmen" characters, I'm developing a buzzing anticipation for the film. It's also heartening to see that the costumes are generally in line with how they were depicted in the comic. My only big peeve is with Nite Owl's, which is more elaborate than it should be. (Oh, and the character is supposed to be pudgy.)

Here's what they look like in the comic:

I'd like to see how they tackle Dr Manhattan (the blue guy), since he spends most of his time in the comic in the nude.

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"The Leap Years"

2008-03-01T18:26:00.002+08:00

There is supposed to be a belief that, on February 29th, if a girl propositions a boy, then the boy must accept her offer. I've lived through my fair share of leap days and had never heard of this legend till I watched this movie, "The Leap Years". Nonetheless, it made for a good premise.

There were few faults I could find with the plot: boy and girl agree to meet every four years, and we get to see how their relationship and personal lives develop. Probably the only thing I could nitpick on would be that a single person, especially a woman, is a freak of nature who is not complete till he/she marries. It sounded like a tonne of propaganda, so I'm glad that the line about "settling down versus settling" was sneaked in.

Alas, the execution failed to deliver what could have been a thoroughly heart-wrenching tear-jerker. Firstly, I could not understand the need for the soft lighting that made it difficult to focus on and appreciate the present day recollection. Was the present day supposed to be like a dream? Or was the lighting intentional to hide the actors and set faults?

As a result of that, I found myself drifting off during those moments and focusing on the recollections. I quite enjoyed Wong Li Lin's portrayal of Li-Ann, but maybe I was also mesmerised by her natural beauty. And that Thai actor, Ananda Everingham, had the easy role as the hapless male lead who only needed to look good. Unfortunately, I didn't sense any chemistry between the two characters. They seemed like two good friends who hooked up.

Well, at least their characters were easier to watch than that of Qi Yu Wu's. I don't know why his character could put up with the name "KS" throughout the show, though I know of some people who prefer initials. Anyway, I thought that the actor looked uncomfortable in his role. Heck, even the script poked fun at his command of English! I have my "conspiracy theory" of why he's managed to appear in MediaCorp movies, because I think he's better suited for contemporary local Chinese TV drama serials.

So, I found myself avoiding his scenes as well. Put those together with the modern day scenes, and I lost about one-third of the movie. Another few moments were lost when there were the calendar pages with quotes about love and time. I hated those moments. They were unnecessary breaks that hampered the rhythm of the movie.

And that's the thing about this show. It was too formulaic. The entire script was broken down into four nice acts. Each act had more-or-less the same story: girl goes about her life, her friends celebrate her birthday with her, she runs away to meet guy at appointed time, they hang out, cue Corrinne May music. Ugh. It got to the point where I was just wishing for the movie to jump to its conclusion, which, by the way, was a gross letdown too.

Also, the thing about the music was that it resembled watching a Chinese/Hong Kong movie. You know, towards the end, there's a long music-only montage where the hero reflects on what's happened so far. Yeah, that happened here too, without the reflections. Nearly half the movie comprised of music. No wonder the newspaper review said that the movie is a feature-length music video.

Even then, it was a poor video. What's up with the ear-piercing tune during the love scene? It was such a turn-off for that critical moment. I doubt this movie was supposed to encourage you to have sex.

Let's see, add up all the parts that I avoided or found unnecessary and I was left with... not much else. Yes, the actresses were gorgeous and the banter between mother and daughter was easy and fun. But those weren't enough to occupy my thoughts. Instead, I found myself asking these profound questions:

How much did Windows Cafe pay for the endorsement? What about OCBC?
Was OCBC's endorsement fee used up in cleaning efforts?
What's the title of that Corrinne May song?
Which wedding lasts till close to midnight with all of its guests happily dancing?
When did it become fashionable to wear a skirt over a pair of jeans?

To anyone who plans to watch it, my advice is: save yourself the money and wait till it appears on television.

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"Knight Rider" telemovie

2008-02-23T23:31:00.003+08:00

I had a chance to watch the telemovie pilot of "Knight Rider". And I have to say that, in spite of its thrills and spills, it's really quite a poor sequel to the original 1980s TV series.

Now firstly, this isn't the first sequel. There was "Knight Rider 2000", which used a red(!) car. Then there was the pathetic series, "Team Knight Rider", which automobiles had more attitude than a punk youth gang. I figured it would be third time lucky with this new series. Besides, it seemed to hold true to the original tenets better than its predecessors.

There are three main elements to Knight Rider: the man, the car, and the supporting cast. Michael Traceur is the new leading man. He's the son of Michael Knight with a major chip on his shoulder. In today's TV world of angst, I suppose the hero needs that chip in order to be relevant to the audience. Unfortunately, Traceur's origin was played out so slowly and weakly in the first half hour of the show that he felt more like a supporting cast member. It wasn't till the middle that I could envision him in the driver's seat... more or less.

The person whom I saw in the hero role was the token female scientist, Sarah Graiman. Actually, in most synopses that I've read of this show, they always mention her more prominently than Traceur. She's strong, smart, witty, in control of her emotions, and does it all without messing up her hair. So it's a pity that she had to play second-fiddle to Traceur in the climax, reduced to shooting a machine gun wimpily.

Joining her in the supporting cast were her father, whose story took way too long to develop as well; Traceur's roommate who becomes his co-engineer; and the FBI detective, played by Sydney Tamia Porter, as the minority of all minorities: female, non-Caucasian, and homosexual. It's a pity that she's typecast, though it fortunately doesn't diminish her role.

And finally, there's the car. Where the previous KITT was a Trans Am, the modern one is a Ford Mustang. And I'm still getting used to it. Both are black, both are shiny, both are filled to the brim with gadgets. *drool* But the Mustang looks bulky and brawny, next to the sleek Trans Am. And all I kept seeing, besides the Mustang logo (because of product placement), was the front radiator grilles.

Hmm, come to think of it, the new KITT reminds me of Blackout, the Decepticon police car in the "Transformers" movie. Even their revving noises sound the same. A hero resembling a villain? Not good.

There were four other things I missed in the new KITT. The first three are minor: the "woh-woh" sound from its scanner (though I do like the "double" scanner), the walkie-talkie watch (a la Dick Tracy), and the turbo boost stunt. I was waiting expectantly for the moment when Traceur or someone would press the button that launches KITT into the sky. Unfortunately, it never came.

The fourth thing I missed about KITT is probably more significant: its attitude. The original KITT was a wisecracking smart-ass who spouted one-liners that made you both groan and chuckle. The new one could best be described as cold, logical, emotionless, and serious. Brr. Sorry, I can't relate with the new car aside from its technology prowess.

Speaking of technology, I wonder what kind of parallel processing terahertz megaflop CPUs are hidden under the hood. The kind of data crunching that KITT handled was ridiculously mind-blowing. Never mind that it also has free access to any information infrastructure in the world, including satellites, GPS systems and the telecommunications networks (Big Brother is watching!).

As a result of its shortcomings, I felt that this new Knight Rider didn't live up to its expectations very well. There was too much emphasis on product placement and technological gee-whiz, but not enough on story and character development. Following the cancellation of the "Bionic Woman" reboot, I wonder how long this new revival will last, if things aren't changed quickly.

Oh yeah, one more thing. According to broadcast TV rules, all vehicle drivers must wear seat belts. But apparently, there are no rules about driving at night without headlights -- especially for a black vehicle speeding down a two-lane highway at more than 190 miles per hour (300 kilometres per hour) under a moonless night.

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I want to watch "The Leap Years"???

2008-02-17T23:26:00.001+08:00

There are three reasons why I would really like to watch "The Leap Years", the newest local movie by ~~MediaCrap~~ MediaCorp. In no particular order, they are:

It's a love story, and I am such a sucker for them.
It's made in Singapore. Support local!
Li Lin. (Hmm, looks like she's dropped the "Wong" side of her family?)

The trailer has been running quite often recently. Well, I suppose that's no surprise since the studio and public broadcasting stations are part of the same state-run media monopoly.

I usually avoid watching state-funded films because they'd be full of propaganda (remember that silly Phua Chu Kang musical?). But based on what I've seen so far, though, this looks like a film with great promise. A love story based on the premise of meeting only once every four years. To a die-hard romantic, that is pretty compelling stuff!

Oh, and no, MediaCorp did not pay me to write this post. Seriously, I'm so far below their notice that this little entry won't make much of a dent in their universe.

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Did "The Dark Knight" kill Heath Ledger?

2008-02-08T21:14:00.001+08:00

FOX News' "Pop Tarts" quoted a friend of Heath Ledger's that it was his role as the Joker in "The Dark Knight" that prompted his death. Back when his death was announced, that had been the first thing that I'd guessed.

Pop Tarts: 'Batman' to Blame for Heath Ledger's Decline?
February 7, 2008

LOS ANGELES — The medical examiner says Heath Ledger died of an accidental overdose of painkillers, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety medication and other prescription drugs. But a close friend of the actor told Pop Tarts that "Batman" was largely to blame.

Heath Ledger was known to be a dedicated actor. He studied and "lived" his roles. Together with the Joker's psychosis, adding two and two makes the picture a whole lot clearer. Even his supposed friend said as much:

"He became so into that role that it really messed with his head."

I hope it's not true and that it was just a case of his accidentally popping one too many pills under exhaustion. Of course, none of this can be taken to be true. Everything that we -- and his friends and family -- know is subject to speculation.

The only person who knows for sure isn't among us any more.

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Heath Ledger found dead in apartment

2008-01-23T08:13:00.002+08:00

Heath Ledger, the actor who would appear as the Joker in the upcoming movie, "The Dark Knight", was found dead in his apartment this morning. He was only 28 years old -- younger than me! When I read the news this morning, I thought that it was some cruel joke, you know, like it was someone else named "Heath Ledger".

But no, it's true. Worse, there didn't seem to be any reason for his suicide, if that's what it was. So, I'd rather dwell on how I remember him.

I first saw him in the teen movie, "10 Things I Hate About You". What really caught my attention was his rendition of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You". I thought it was wonderfully choreographed and his deep voice carried the song so well.

I didn't see any of his other movies, not even the film that catapulted him to superstardom, "Brokeback Mountain". Instead, I've eagerly awaiting to see him in the Batman movie, "The Dark Knight". Seeing him in full Joker make-up creeped me out.

I read somewhere that he found the role so intense that he even had trouble sleeping. After I read about his death this morning, that was the first thing I thought about. Was he feeling the stress of playing this maniac? After all, the movie was going for realism, and truthfully speaking, the Joker is one sadistic bastard. I hope Ledger's final role had nothing to do with his untimely death.

More news:

RIP Heath Ledger, 1979 - 2008.

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"Blackout" starring Yuhui (rated NC-16 for language)

2008-01-17T23:07:00.000+08:00

Link to video

At the end of last year, a colleague mentioned that he wanted me to star in his short film. He said that I was the perfect person for the part, apparently because of my demeanour. Intrigued, I agreed to it.

Two weekends ago, I went to his house to film it. We discussed it for about two hours, and I got myself prepared for the role. In spite of his reason for casting me, it still felt very out-of-character and therefore unusual for me. Nonetheless, I didn't want to disappoint both him and me, so I persevered with it. However, I had to change some of the dialogue to better suit, well, me.

We waited till sun down to film it, since it was meant to take place at night. About five hours later, filming was wrapped. My colleague edited it over the next few days, all the time talking excitedly about it with me. He was obviously having a good time with it.

And "Blackout" was the film. He's submitting it to a few film festivals, and I eagerly await the good news.

Acting is definitely not easy. As a person who is conscious of my surroundings, it was an especially difficult time for me. I simply had to zone myself out and just pretend that I was somewhere else. Professional actors either have mastered the art of zoning out or are absolutely not self-conscious, or maybe both.

So now I've both acted and directed. Given a choice between the two, I'd rather direct. I'd prefer to have full control over my vision.

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"The Heartbreak Kid"

2007-12-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

I realised that I hadn't watched a movie in a long time (excluding those that I watched on the crappy small screens in the airplanes) and had a craving for watching something silly to escape the drudgery of life. And there was only one comedy that looked like it was the answer: "The Heartbreak Kid". I figured that I couldn't go wrong with Ben Stiller and the Farrelly brothers, who also did that silly comedy, "There's Something About Mary".

I wouldn't put "Heartbreak Kid" at the same level as "Mary", but it was still funny enough to watch. What it lacked in crude visual humour, it made up for with lots of expletives and crude language. Actually, some of the dialogue was, I thought, beyond crude, but fortunately, these weren't very often. (I wonder if Ben and Jerry Stiller actually really talk like that in real life.)

Story-wise, the plot was predictable. Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy goes on honeymoon with girl, boy meets true love at honeymoon, boy breaks up with girl after a long-winded roundabout manner, true love marries ex-boyfriend, boy gives up and runs away, boy meets true love again (who has divorced), boy now has to break up with current wife. Like I said, predictable.

The jokes were moderately funny, nothing that really makes you burst out laughing. But they were amusing enough and kept the story moving. But it's Ben Stiller as the long-suffering new husband who really makes this movie worth watching. His ad libs are especially entertaining and his comedic timing is wonderful.

And there's nothing that will prepare you for the moment when the baseball bat lands on his back -- loudly!

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"Robotech"... the movie coming soon???

2007-09-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

Oh... my... goodness!

"Robotech"! On the big screen!

If you had access to Malaysia's TV3 back in the 80's, you'd know what a big hit "Robotech" was! Everyone was watching the cartoon, everyone was reading the books, everyone bought those huuuuuge Art 1 graphic books.

I was introduced to "Robotech" by my sister. It was my first exposure to anime and I was blown away! The series was so captivating that I felt like I was living the stories. Till this day, I still get a kick out of listening to the soundtrack. I even managed to track down and watch the short-lived "Robotech: The Sentinels" sequel!

Now, Tobey "Spider-Man" Maguire has announced that he's going to make "Robotech" into a movie. I hope he doesn't screw it up. I'm still suffering from my "Transformers" screening. Read more here!

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7 movies to watch in 2008!

2007-07-26T21:58:00.001+08:00

2007 isn't even over yet, and I'm already looking forward to 2008's batch of mid-year movies. So far, I've counted seven -- yeah, seven! -- that I think are worth seeing.

"The Dark Knight"
"Batman Begins" was awesome, and there's no reason that it's sequel should disappoint. The only thing that I really didn't like about "Batman Begins" was that Batman allowed his enemy to die. Batman would never do that.
"Iron Man"
Another Marvel hero comes to the silver screen. In real life, I doubt anyone would want to walk around in an iron suit, let alone fight crime in it. But I'm actually looking forward more to seeing Robert Downey Jr in the title role.
"Get Smart"
I used to watch reruns of the TV show back in the day. They were absolutely silly, especially the gadgets. Based on the trailer, it looks like the movie won't disappoint too.
Fourth "Indiana Jones" movie
This is a show that isn't a "must see on the big screen" movie for me. But since I grew up watching the first three installments, I figure it can't hurt to watch the fourth one too.
"The Incredible Hulk"
The first "Hulk" movie was a letdown with too many gimmicks, so I think the sequel can't be any worse... or can it?
"Wall-E"
Firstly, it's a Pixar movie, so I can expect the story and graphics to be worth watching (especially in digital format). Secondly, it's about a robot, and I have a soft spot for robots ever since I read Isaac Asimov's robot stories.
"Hellboy 2"
Finally, if I have time and money and a good enough excuse, I'll watch this.

So that's seven movies in about three months. Cool.

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"Transformers"

2007-06-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

That tears it. Michael Bay has officially destroyed the "Transformers" franchise. He calls himself the "greatest (Transformers) fan in the world". I say he's a two-bit wannabe who should just slink into whatever hole he came from and never emerge again. Because after watching this so-called movie, I wish that Megatron would become real and blast Bay to smithreens.

This post is going to be full of spoilers on purpose. Consider it my public service to ensure that you don't waste two-and-a-half hours of your life on this piece of crap. So many things went wrong. I've already complained about the bad robot designs and Optimus Prime's lips, so I won't repeat those. Where should I begin? I suppose going chronologically would help. So here goes.

Time passes quickly when you're under attack. Bright sunshine suddenly gave way to the darkness of night in Qatar. Surely the sun doesn't set that fast in the Middle East! This would be a repeated problem throughout the movie.
Another repeated problem: poor editing. Scenes were suddenly cut off and moved to the next frame. It's as if the editor just attacked the film reel with a pair of shears and tacked everything together haphazardly. I doubt this was the work of our local censors.
Josh Duhamel's character calls his wife and sees his baby girl. In spite of all of his love for them and their apparent importance to him, you will never see his family again. It's not that they died. It's just clear that the writers didn't know what to do with them beyond that one scene.
The protagonist is named "Sam Witwicky", but the cartoon version's was "Spike Witwicky". I don't know why the name was changed. But this is a minor gripe anyway.
But he was hawking his grandfather's belongings in the middle of class. His teacher should have just failed him for bad taste. Instead, he got an "A". His father was so proud that he promptly set off to buy Sam his first car. If I sold my grandparents' belongings so indicriminately, my parents would punish the living daylights out of me!
I still don't understand why Bumbleebee was changed into a Camaro from his original Volkswagen Beetle form. Michael Bay said that he didn't want the audience to confuse the robot with Herbie, the Love Bug. I think Bay is full of s**t. If his audience could sit through two hours of gore and violence, I'm sure they would be able to distinguish a family-friendly car from a soldier robot.
Sam somehow manages to catch up with a car on a bicycle! He must have some strong leg muscles!
The policeman is so lame. What's the point of that scene again? To show that American police really are brutes?
The next day, Sam somehow manages to outcycle his car again! Though I'd give Bumblebee the benefit of the doubt since he was following Sam from behind.
Day inexplicably becomes night quickly again during the chase between Bumblebee and Barricade. I guess Transformers have an unlimited supply of fuel.
It's difficult to understand Bumblebee. You really need to catch every single word from his radio.
The Autobots arrive... and America's satellite system, which supposedly can see the tiniest speck in space, fails to detect them and alert the military. This is just the start to show how incapable the U.S. military is in this movie.
The Transformers get their alternate form by scanning vehicles and taking their form. And they can switch forms easily. Like Frenzy, who started as a stereo and became a handphone. Those robots must clearly be made with a million billion different parts to take on any shape or form.
Optimus Prime transforms... and he doesn't have the classic cartoon transforming sound! In fact, the only character who has it is the Decepticon, Blackout, and it happens once in the entire film. Nooooo!!!
The Autobots learned English from the World Wide Web, as opposed to the radio signals that we've been beaming into space all of these years. Fortunately, they didn't learn the language from blogs written by Singaporean kids.
And the Autobots all sound the same! It sounded as if Peter Cullen provided all of their voices. With their indistinguishable designs, it made identifying the robots more difficult.
For some reason, Sam trusts the Autobots, even though they and the Decepticons want the same thing from him. Come on, even a teenager can't be that trusting! And even after the Autobots trash his house, he still trusts them!
Maybe he gets it from his mother. Ironhide should really have just "silenced" her.
You know, for some reason, the Decepticons didn't trash the Witwicky house earlier. Frenzy had already discovered the Witwicky connection and went on to learn Sam's eBay identity. But wouldn't it have been more sensible to go through phone records and find the house itself? And why go after Sam, not his father? Oh, I guess the filmmakers needed to target the teen demographic.
Bumblebee took a leak on the Sector Seven leader. Okay, that's not a complaint. That was genuinely funny! Probably the only gem in this ill-begotten movie.
Oh, by the way, amidst all of this, the American soldiers were fighting Scorponok, who knew how to travel in sand but didn't know how to hide there too when under heavy fire.
Meanwhile, the Secretary of Defense had called up every intelligent mind in America to unravel the secret of the Decepticons' tone. For some reason, a teenage girl figured it out before every other top notch intelligence agent and soldier. Maybe she was there to appeal to the teen demographic too. But wait, isn't that what Sam and Mikaela were for? Does that mean Mikaela wasn't hot enough that the filmmakers needed a brainy, blonde British babe as well?
For some reason, while expounding on the need to fight the good fight, Optimus Prime says the magic line, "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." In the context of his dialogue, that came totally from left field. It's like the scriptwriters needed to add it somewhere, so they just dropped it there.
Prime is willing to sacrifice his life to destroy the Allspark. When Prime opened his chest, I expected to see the Matrix of Leadership there, but I really should've known better. Here's how you destroy the Source of Transformers Life: you shove it into the chest of a Transformer.
And why would Prime want to leave his Autobots leaderless and the rest of the universe at the mercy of the malevolent Megatron? Even when watching the cartoons, I always thought that Prime was a silly excuse for a leader. But here, he was just being hare-brained. Clearly, he hadn't thought through his strategy.
And Prime says, "Autobots, roll out!", not "Autobots, transform and roll out!" Okay, minor quibble there.
The imprisoned Megatron is apparently the source of all of humans' technological discoveries, including the automobile and electronic chips. In "Men in Black", I could believe that things like the microwave oven came from alien technology, but in this movie, it just sounded silly. I was willing to suspend my disbelief, but so far, the movie had given me little reason to suspend that much disbelief.
We get our first glimpse of the power of the Allspark. By the way, was that the best name that the writers could come up with? Anyway, it apparently can make any inanimate object possess the ability to transform. Oh, and make them Decepticons too. So here's my understanding: the Source of Transformers Life bestows evil on its creations. Okay, right, got it. There are apparently no benevolent gods in robot land.
Oh, and a Nokia N93, after given the Allspark life, can suddenly shoot bullets. I don't know what goes into an N93, but I didn't know bullets were in the specifications!
By the way, this film is filled with product placements. From the obvious General Motors vehicles to the Nokia phones to the HP computers. And I thought the myriad of Sony devices in "Casino Royale" was bad.
Bumblebee approaches the Allspark like it's an everyday item. This is the Source of its Life! If I met my Source of Life, I'd be trembling in my knees and be reverent and everything! Or maybe these robots don't have religion, even for something that mystically gives them life.
Starscream finally appears, as do the rest of the Decepticons. About time!
When Starscream tells Megatron where the Autobots are headed to, Megatron says that the former has failed him again. I chuckled because, in the cartoon, Megatron always belittled Starscream. But a split second later, I thought, "Wow, there is just no way to please the big guy!" Why would anyone remain loyal to him?
At this point, things just degenerate into one big slugfest. Whatever story there was is thrown out of the window. Bay does what he does best: he blows everything up, including the franchise.
And the body count just keeps going up. Never mind that children are watching the film. Just kill 'em all!
Jazz is unceremoniously torn apart by Megatron. This is the most senseless death in comic book/super-hero movies. Firstly, Jazz didn't have a big role to play, so his death failed to strike a chord with the audience. Secondly, all that happens is that Megatron picks him up and rips him apart, so Jazz dies in an unheroic manner. Finally, Jazz was the only robot who spoke with an African American slang. With his death, did that mean that the token minority character had been written off?
The American fighter planes sure take their time in coming to the rescue. So much for air support.
Josh Duhamel's character killed Devastator because he identified its weak spot. Okay, score one for the humans who supposedly have inferior technology.
Mikaela somehow has all the time in the world to hotwire a tow truck and strap a crippled Bumblebee to it. All this time while the Decepticons are raining hail and hellfire all around.
Oh, and apparently it's very difficult to shoot or bomb the Autobots to death. The Decepticons, on the other hand, fall to pieces when shot with human-made rockets and bullets.
Before I forget, the Secretary of Defense, the Sector Seven leader, the blonde British babe and her African American sidekick manage to destroy Frenzy. But you know what? Those characters are forgettable. You can remove them from the show and there'd be nothing missing.
Prime tells Sam to shove the Allspark into his chest, but Sam being the rebellious teenager pushes it into Megatron's. Which was the sensible, logical thing to do right from the start. Kill two birds with one stone, right? Destroy Megatron and also the very thing that caused the Transformers war. Besides, the irritating Allspark had a tendency to create Decepticons, so it deserved to be erased from existence.
Prime gives a one-line eulogy for Jazz, which is really insipid. This guy fought by your side all of this time, and that was the best that you could come up with? The next time an Autobot dies, I hope it's Ratchet who gives the eulogy. He's a better orator.
Bumblebee magically restores his voice, yet Prime doesn't seem fazed by it. Perhaps he's witnessed stranger things, like the flame design on his chest.
The destroyed robots are sunk in the middle of the ocean, because the extreme ocean pressure and icy cold temperatures will ensure that they remain lifeless. You know, so they'll be there for the sequel.
Oh, and the biggest sin of all: there's no Transformers theme music! Not even Mute Math's pathetic version. What's up with that??

And that's the movie. If you've lasted this long and still want to watch it, my advice is to stay for the first 20 minutes or so. That's the enjoyable part. As soon as you reach the scene where Bumblebee takes off into the night on its own, walk out of the hall. Just walk out. There's nothing left to see. Oh, unless you want to see Bumblebee take a leak. Okay, I guess that's worth staying for too. But you'll have to be patient, very patient for the next half hour or so.

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"Transformers" ending may anger fans further

2007-06-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

I happened to be at Border's this evening and there in the shelves was the paperback novelisation for "Transformers". I couldn't help it, so I flipped to the last few pages.

Gosh, I think a lot of fans are going to be even angrier about the movie, if they aren't already so. Yes, the good guys win in the end. That's a non-spoiler. But it gets worse.

Spoiler (highlight to read): Jazz dies. So does Megatron.

It's "X-Men 3" all over again!

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