Can we experience life as adults in the same way as children can? Feel the feeling intensely, for 3 minutes, then move on to the next sensation.

I think this is a nice ideal, but we can’t go bam-ba-bam, experience after experience, we also need to schedule times of rest and reflection. Time to go back and remember the nice moments that shape us as a person.

I am looking for the pattern in all this and try to find my voice. The way to perfect self-expression includes expression. That one is sure.

Day after day I find new layers as if I’m an onion. But what is at the bottom? The picture is perfect because peeling the layers of the onion makes me cry.

So am I a poet after all? Let’s find out!

I wish to say more. At the same time I want to protect my secret. I need some time to breed it properly.

Is it a new start in old clothes? Is it a drawback? A stupid idea that I will get over soon?

My dream was so real and so important. It changed everything internally but will it make an impact on the world outside of me? Am I ready to take the challenge? Could I possibly pull this off?

What does it even mean to start all over again? What does it even mean?

Who I am.

Who I want to be.

It was messy. And excentric. Colorful. And bold.

Like me!

It is neither the starting point nor the climax. It is just another day. And it will be every day.

I am so much more than plans and appointments. I am even more than a writer. I am so much more than all of this.

And it makes so much sense now.

It makes so much sense why nothing ever worked. I was not clear enough in my intentions. I did not understand my full power.

Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? Why grow up I ask? Why be?

It’s a joke and nobody gets it.

The funniest thing that I tried was to ask ChatGPT to write me some songs. Obviously I am not using the results, because they don’t resonate with me that much. But it is very interesting to see an example of what a song could look like. This is the song ChatGPT wrote about Happy Voices in my head:

(Verse 1)
I hear them every day, they lift me up and say
“You’re doing great, keep going!” and “You’ll get through anything!”
Voices in my head, they make me feel so blessed
I’m so grateful for their love, it’s like they’re my own personal nest

(Chorus)
Happy voices in my head, you make me smile and shine
Your words are like sweet music, that’s always in time
Supportive voices in my head, you cheer me on every day
I’m so lucky to have you, in my own special way

(Verse 2)
Sometimes they’re so loud, I can’t help but feel proud
Of everything I’ve achieved, with them as my company
Voices in my head, they never put me down
Their encouragement is like a golden crown

(Chorus)
Happy voices in my head, you make me smile and shine
Your words are like sweet music, that’s always in time
Supportive voices in my head, you cheer me on every day
I’m so lucky to have you, in my own special way

(Bridge)
I don’t know where they came from, or why they’re here to stay
But I know that I must cherish, their presence every day
I’ll listen to their guidance, and follow their lead
And I’ll know that I’m blessed, with all that I need

(Chorus)
Happy voices in my head, you make me smile and shine
Your words are like sweet music, that’s always in time
Supportive voices in my head, you cheer me on every day
I’m so lucky to have you, in my own special way

(Outro)
Happy and supportive voices, I’m so grateful for you
You make me feel so loved, in all that I do
I’ll keep listening to you, and taking your advice
With you by my side, I know I can conquer any strife.

ChatGPT

Isn’t it just the most amazing idea to have happy supportive voices in your head? Most of us know only the nagging and doubting merry-go-round that is playing on our nerves and keeps us small. But what if you could change that to a support system that cheers you up. I liked this idea and that’s why I asked ChatGPT to write a song about happy voices.

Btw. You could ChatGPT absolutely anything and you would get an answer. I wrote more about ChatGPT here.

Songwriting. I can only recommend everyone to try it. It’s really not as hard as you would imagine. Previously, I thought Songwriting was something that only geniuses can do. Then I made a friend who wrote really nice songs and it occurred to me that maybe even normal people, like him or me, could write songs. So I tried it. Not even consciously.

My first song came to me when I was taking a walk in my neighbourhood. I recorded it instantly and I still know the lyrics and melody by heart. It was definitely a gift from above and some day I will surely share it. For now, it has only verses and no chorus or bridge, so I am thinking if I should work on it and add those parts. But I will see how it’s going, because I might ruin the whole thing since it’s pretty much perfect as is.

The other songs I write are only lyrics for now, but I hope that once I improve on the guitar and piano, I could also write some music around it. Actually it is not difficult to find a melody line for the singing part. I am just lacking the skills to write it down properly. But since I am just starting out on this journey, there is plenty of time to record and make up everything.

I have one million ideas about topics, some phrases I’d like to include or just random prompts I could use.

I guess in a few months I could show you some results. For now I end this blog post with a quote about songwriting that I got from ChatGPT:

“Songwriting is the art of taking the intangible and making it tangible, the invisible and making it visible, and the impossible and making it possible.”

Unknown

What are your thoughts on Songwriting?

Obviously I learned this in Dance Schools, but not only there. It’s inherent in all creative processes: writing, singing, playing an instrument, drawing, acting – everywhere!

The latest addition to my creative daily routine is writing poems. That could only take 5 minutes, but where do I find 5 minutes for a poem, if I can’t find 7 minutes for morning yoga?

Other creative tasks include morning pages, writing blog posts, playing guitar, researching for my book, vlogs and now poems! (Which should eventually translate into songwriting some day.)

I WANT to do all of this on a daily basis, but on 10 out of 10 days I fail. I can do some of these things on a good day, on a bad day I do morning pages and that’s it. I haven’t ever caught up on all in one day.

Pushing myself makes me feel stressed and stress is the enemy of creative flow.

This is the third rule of creativity: Be relaxed and the muses will find you!

Monthly goals seem not to work so well for me. But a week is a good period of time to overlook. It is not too long and not too short and since I am doing weekly reflections anyways, it is not a big deal to add the habit of goal setting to the time I anyways use at the end of my week.

I also do monthly reflections but in a more focused way – there is just too much happening in a month! I focus on two categories: my artsy life and learning. I try to keep track of my progress in arts and learning, so that I could see at the end of a longer period what I have accomplished.

What I do see in both categories is that I jump around a lot, switching between projects and topics and not really moving forward in one direction. It would be nice to have something that I can stick to and I hope that playing the guitar could be such a thing. After all I am doing it for more than 6 months now.

I also hope that setting weekly goals in 8 priority categories will also help me to stick something. For now my priorities look like this:

1. Housework
2. Friends
3. Family
4. Guitar
5. Sports
6. Philosophy
7. Social Butterfly Radar (my meetup group)
8. Die Multipotentialistin (my primary blog)

So for each categories I put up 1-3 to-dos or goals that I should do during that week. So far it works well although I did not reach the goals in all categories: Philosophy and Sports are doing pretty bad. Whereas housework and guitar seem to see a good time.

I will follow these habits for a few more weeks and provide an update on how it goes. In the meantime I am curious to learn: What time frame works best for you to set goals? Do you think of my strategy as goal setting or to-do-list? And what is the difference between the two?

Not that I do it for the world. I do it for myself primarily. I love to read my old blogposts, look at pictures and videos from past times. Maybe my life has become more boring or stable – as I like to call it, but there are still details that can be developed further. What I like most about blogging is that you can include different types of contents and make it a masterpiece.

I am struggling these days (and not for the first time) to establish some creative daily routines: playing the guitar, working on my philosophy project, and now daily blogging and vlogging, not to mention sport. But yeah eventually I will get there, starting with baby steps and one thing at a time. For today it’s mostly done. Of course not everything, only the new and fancy stuff.

Maybe I need an accountability buddy for every project. But how not to loose track of them if you have about 5 daily projects? Start with one, they say. Don’t pressure yourself, they say. Both is difficult for me and I guess what I need to practise most is humility and patience. But that’s something for another day.